In This Game... Only Letters, Friends!

Summary

Distractible Podcast – Episode Summary

Podcast: Distractible
Episode: "In This Game... Only Letters, Friends!"
Date: October 13, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Overview

This episode is a playful and uproarious exploration of wits, creativity, and quick thinking, as Mark introduces "Only Letters, Friends"—a new game built around surviving wild scenarios using items that start with a chosen letter of the alphabet. The hosts, Wade and Bob, compete to survive mark’s death-defying prompts, all while bantering, riffing on pop culture, and occasionally sabotaging each other with delightfully ridiculous logic.

The camaraderie and humor between the trio shine throughout an episode marked by outrageous item choices (including lipstick, queefs, and ZZ Top), running gags, and a classic Distractible twist in the final moments. If you love word games, improv, and friendly trash talk, this episode is a must-listen.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Banter & Life Updates

[03:31–16:32]

• Bob and Wade recap their weeks: rain is a rare event, child bedtime tantrums (Bob’s son discovers volcanic screaming), and the joys/problems of sleeping too much after Covid/flu boosters.
• Quote [06:44, Bob]: "He did that sort of like, shake of rage and then proceeded to scream louder than anything has ever been in human existence."
• Mark and the gang riff on nature documentaries where camera people let animals (and sometimes humans!) be attacked for the sake of “nature.”
• Notable moment: Discussion about Homelander as a parenting model, which hilariously devolves into dark bird-related slapstick and Attenborough impressions.
  — Mark: "Nature is a cruel beast and you will die by being eaten, guaranteed." [10:10]

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2. Game Explanation: "Only Letters, Friends"

[16:32–19:24]

• Mark unveils the rules: Each round, a death-defying scenario is presented. Players alternate picking a letter of the alphabet and then, in lightning-round fashion, must name survival items that start with that letter. No duplicate items; quick thinking is essential.
• Mark: “You use that letter to pick an item out of the air and then it immediately goes to the next person as fast as you can, back and forth. Bing bong, bing bong, bong, same letter.” [17:10]
• Competitive spirit is high; Bob claims a vocabulary advantage. Wade is confident but a little apprehensive.

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3. Game Segments: Survival Scenarios by Letter

Each round alternates who picks the letter and who goes first. Mark judges which responses best fit the scenario and awards points; creative sabotage is allowed.

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A. Letter L: Falling from an Airplane

[20:31–25:17]

Scenario: Survive falling from a plane—only items beginning with "L."

• Highlights:
  • Bob’s picks: Long rope, light aircraft, lingonberry jam, laser pointer, launcher.
  • Wade’s picks: Lift (ski lift), Lambo, lipstick, lake, Lisa (from "The Simpsons").
  • Mark’s recap is full of glee: “Lambo, lipstick, Lolisa, in the passenger seat. Aim for the lake, babe.” [23:36]

Result:
Bob’s "light aircraft" clinches the win.
Wade’s “Lambo + lipstick” make a memorable, if doomed, exit.

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B. Letter B: Facing a Firing Squad

[25:49–30:31]

Scenario: Survive a firing squad—only “B” items.

• Wade: Blocks, bomb (comically a “big round one with a wick”), bobcat (the animal), blank slate, billions of buildings.
• Bob: Bulletproof vest, bouncy ball, bobcat (the vehicle), blades (for slicing bullets!), Bill Clinton (for Secret Service protection).
  • Bob: “Bill Clinton, Secret Service has to protect him. He has a Secret Service detail for the rest of his life because he was president.” [27:56]

Result:
Bob prevails with pragmatic self-defense and special guest, former President Bill Clinton.

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C. Letter Q: Car Sinks Under Ice

[31:31–39:56]

Scenario: Escape a car sinking in a frozen river—“Q” items only.

• Bob: Quetzalcoatlus (giant flying dinosaur), Quicksilver (Marvel speedster), Questlove (drummer), Quality Inn, Quill (Peter "Star-Lord" Quill).
  • Mark (on Quicksilver): “If he knows where you are, he can get you and get you out before the hypothermia sets in.” [36:36]
• Wade: Quickness, Queen (the band), queefs (“for air to move”), Qwilfish (a Pokémon), quill (for writing a last will).
  • Standout quote: “Queefs so I have air to move.” –Wade [34:15]
  • Bob: “You already have air. You have all the air you need. Don’t forget about your Queefs.” [38:31]

Result:
Bob is safe with super-powered help. Wade gets a 50/50 life-or-death coin flip. Mark declares survival on heads—luck is with Wade.

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D. Letter Z: Stalked by Panthers in a Forest

[40:15–48:38]

Scenario: Survive three and a half panthers at night—“Z” items only.

• Wade: Zebra (as bait), Zendaya (hoping for Spider-man help), zipper (zip up trees as defense), Zap Cannon (Pokémon move), Zoe Saldana, Zavengers (fake Avengers!).
  • Mark: “You brought two actresses out into the middle of there, just standing there like, why have you done this?” [44:24]
• Bob: Zeppelin, Zenyatta (Overwatch), Zapdos (Pokémon), ZZ Top (the band), Zero Point (Valorant ability to disable the enemy).

Result:
Bob’s team of flying Pokémon, robot monks, and a zeppelin secures victory. Wade’s creative use of celebrities and “zap canon” is barely beaten out (and the survival is left up to a coin again—he’s not as lucky this time).

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E. Letter C: Escape a Burning IKEA

[49:46–57:22]

Scenario: The world’s largest IKEA is on fire—escape using “C” items.

• Bob: Class C fire extinguisher, Civic, Commander Keen (child prodigy game character), carrier (“however you might”), corn dog (for a snack).
• Wade: “Carpet, comma, magic”, random car (ends up a Hyundai Elantra), Claptrap (Borderlands), cougar (left to coin flip—ends up a “madam”), chewing gum.
  • Mark: “You have an older but attractive female companion and plenty of chewing gum.” [56:49]
  • Wade (joking): “If there's fire on the way out, I use her as another rug.” [56:52]

Result:
Both survive; Mark concludes that while Commander Keen plus a Civic is hard to beat, a magic carpet and Claptrap are also effective. “But at what cost?”, Mark wonders after Wade implies sacrificing the cougar.

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4. The Endgame Twist: ‘Golf Rules’

[57:39–62:32]

• Mark tallies the final points and, with Bob leading, a wheel-of-fate spin is invoked for the last point.
• Secretly, Mark had hidden the true twist from the start: the “Golf Rules” (lowest score wins) are revealed, embedded in the first letters of the episode’s title.
  — Mark: “From the very beginning, this was a Golf Rules episode.” [60:40]
• Bob, initially triumphant, is undercut—Wade, with fewer points, wins!
• Banter ensues as Bob laments the cruel hand of fate, and Wade basks in his underdog victory.
  • Bob: “Imagine absolutely having luck dictate that you’re the winner of an episode and then having the golf rule spin come up and steal it away from you. Who could that happen to?” [61:22]
  • Wade: “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” [63:38]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Homelander as a father:
  Wade: "I think his first act as a father was to throw his son off of, like, a roof or something, wasn’t it? Spoilers." [08:32]

• On nature documentaries:
  Markiplier: “Nature is a cruel beast and you will die by being eaten, guaranteed.” [10:10]

• Inventive wordplay under pressure:
  Wade: “Queef so I have air to move.” [34:15]
  Bob: “You already have air. You have all the air you need. Don’t forget about your Queefs.” [38:31]

• Fan-favorite sabotage:
  Mark: "I think I'll accept items that sabotage your opponent to make sure they die..." [24:09]

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Episode Flow & Takeaways

• Frequent bursts of laughter and riffing: The trio thrives on taking each other's ideas and running with them, often to absurd ends.
• Unexpected logic and improvisation: Many of the “survival” ideas make little sense but heighten the fun—e.g., lipstick for dying beautifully, sacrificing Lisa Simpson, or using fictional characters as literal life savers.
• Climactic game twist: The “Golf Rules” reversal at the end is classic Distractible, celebrating the podcast’s love for chaos, subversion, and letting luck have the final say.

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For Newcomers

Don’t worry if you’re not familiar with the intricate in-jokes and recurring bits—the joy of this episode is in the unpredictable gameplay and the hosts’ relentless creativity. Every survival scenario will catch you off guard, and the friendly rivalry is infectious. Expect plenty of laughs and some surprisingly sharp wordplay.

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Timestamps of Notable Segments

• 03:31–16:32 — Intro, life banter, Homelander/nature riff
• 16:32–19:24 — Game rules explanation
• 20:31–25:17 — Letter L scenario
• 25:49–30:31 — Letter B scenario
• 31:31–39:56 — Letter Q scenario
• 40:15–48:38 — Letter Z scenario
• 49:46–57:22 — Letter C scenario
• 57:39–62:32 — Endgame: the "Golf Rules" twist & winner declared

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In the end:
Wade, not Bob, is crowned champion through sheer luck and the never-ending chaos that is Distractible, encapsulated perfectly in Mark’s closing words:

"But you know who's the winner? You at home listening and. Or watching. Both of you did equally good." [64:44]

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A raucous, quotable, and highly replayable episode—recommended for fans of improv, creative word games, and competitive friendship.

Transcript

[Wade]

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[Bob]

You turn into a cartoon dog. I'm sorry. Next time we hang out, I'm giving you a mint just to see what happens.

[Wade]

And of course, another way to refresh every day is with Mentos gum, available in a range of fresh flavors like Spearmint Fresh Mint and Strawberry Mintos Gum. Yes to fresh.

[Bob]

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[Markiplier]

This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. Everyone loves Fall Everyone apart from your wallet and me who's falling apart as a person. My entire financial future is in jeopardy. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

[Bob]

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[Markiplier]

My life is in shambles.

[Bob]

Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions. Rocket Money's 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket money. Go to Rocketmoney.com distractible that's R-O-C-K-E-T-M-O-N-E-Y.coM-I-S-T-R-A-T I B.

[Markiplier]

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode multi platform. Mark heroizes Homelander, then kicks off the alphabetic escapades battling Bob enjoys moisture and barbaric bellowing, then pulls Pietro, Peter and ZZ Top Webless. Wade slumbers after a prick becomes a pancake that invokes pussy queefing and a quickie with queen. From deep loving to chewing cum.

[Bob]

Ha.

[Markiplier]

It's time for in this game, only letters, friends. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractable. My name is Markiplier. Yes, that Markiplier from YouTube and TikTok and the other places where I exist. Twitch. Maybe still if they haven't deleted my account.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah.

[Markiplier]

I've been inactive for a long time, but I am not the star of the show today. These two gentlemen are. That's Bob, star number one. Number one star.

[Bob]

All right, Pop star.

[Markiplier]

And Wade, the second star.

[Wade]

Two. Okay. Feel like we're starting off on an even foot.

[Markiplier]

Two star, you get two stars, man. That's two. One more than two. One.

[Bob]

If this is Michelin stars, that's a lot of stars.

[Wade]

Two stars is one more than two. Oh, you are the Markiplier I was thinking of. It is me.

[Markiplier]

All right, so this is Distractible. If this is your first time, welcome. I love you.

[Wade]

Wow. Leading off with that.

[Markiplier]

Want to come in strong? I don't want a soft. I don't want soft calls to action. I love you.

[Bob]

Wait, we have to be clear. Is that directed at the listeners or the watchers? There's different. Different people here.

[Markiplier]

I don't care whether they have eyes or ears. I love you just the way you are. And I'm enunciating. So if you're reading my lips, you know I'm.

[Wade]

That made me uncomfortable trying to read your lips. There's a lot of teeth.

[Bob]

I like that. I wish you'd talk like that all the time.

[Markiplier]

I've chased off all the new viewers.

[Wade]

Now, so it's just. Oh, thank God. Wouldn't want to move up those podcast charts that we worked so hard to move up.

[Markiplier]

I'm trying to get our bounce rate up. You know, people click in and boing. I don't want this.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Markiplier]

I want to push us down in the ratings in this episode. I have a fun game prepared. But, no, it's not the perfectest crime. It is not. It's something else. But we're going to get to that in just a little bit, because these guys have been living their best lives, and I want to hear about it. Let's decide who goes first.

[Wade]

1. Bob.

[Bob]

Oh, man, I can't believe that. I was so sure it was going to be the second guy in the list.

[Markiplier]

Oh, no. You would think that.

[Bob]

Yeah, everything's going pretty good. It's raining here, which, I don't know. It hasn't been that long, but, like, you ever have. I mean, where you live, Mark? Out in la, I guess. You probably get this in Ohio. I feel like it rains pretty consistently. Like, normally it's like, it's raining. Whatever. It started raining last night, and it was raining when I woke up this morning, and it's been so long since it rained that I literally woke up and was like, it's wet. What happened? Why is it all wet outside? Oh, no. Does that happen to you, or am I just, like, a goldfish? Because it really. It weirded me out for a minute.

[Markiplier]

No, I did that, too. I woke up and rained over here. Or drizzled. And I just got. And the whole yard's wet. I'm like, did the sprinklers break?

[Wade]

What's going on?

[Markiplier]

There's a leak everywhere. There's a leak everywhere. This is ecologically irresponsible.

[Bob]

Okay, well, I'm glad it's not just me. Also, James has learned that he could scream real loud, so that's fun. I've never been made dizzy by a scream before, but that can happen now. Last night, we were getting ready for bed, and he was like. It was. He gets two books, and then we go to bed, and it's like we have a whole routine, and we got to the. I think to the end of the second book and, like, close the book, and Mandy was like, okay, put the book on the shelf, and we're going to do this. And he just was like, no, no more stories. And we're like, no, man, it's bedtime. This is. We do this every night. This is the routine. And he did that sort of, like, shake of rage and then proceeded to scream louder than anything has ever been in human existence. And I actually, like it made my head vibrate. And when he stopped screaming, I was kind of like. So I never had that before. But I'm sure that he'll only do that the one time, and that's not going to be all day, every day for the next three weeks of my life.

[Markiplier]

How do you stop that, Wade? Bad advice.

[Wade]

What you do is you give him a megaphone so he can be even louder to the point where he makes himself paralyzed from the noise.

[Markiplier]

You're right. You're right. There we go. Yep.

[Bob]

Give him headphones and a microphone and make him scream into his own ears.

[Markiplier]

You know how Homelander went up to that one superhero and went dwing on the sides of the head and then made him deaf? Know that he'd scream louder. And this is horrible advice.

[Wade]

Put him in a bit of a stupor. Stupor here. I see what you did there.

[Bob]

Yeah. I should definitely do whatever Homelander does. He's a good guy, right?

[Markiplier]

He's a father.

[Bob]

I haven't watched the show. I haven't watched the show. He's like the Superman character in that universe, right? He's a good guy.

[Wade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he is America.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, he's America.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Markiplier]

And he's a father. He's raising a child.

[Wade]

I think his first act as a father was to throw his son off of, like, a roof or something, wasn't it? Spoilers.

[Bob]

I don't even.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, kid's dead now.

[Wade]

No, I think literally the first thing he did was like, yeah, son, you can fly, too. And he threw him off the roof. And his son just went, ah.

[Markiplier]

He's like, man, man. That reminds me of the video that I saw of these birds on the mountainside. I think we talked about them, but just every once in a while it pops in my head and how the fucking BBC cameramen are doing this, and the BBC editors make it go, I swear, boink, doink, boink. As it's hitting every rock down the mountain as it tries to fly. Boink, doink, doink, squeak, squawk, squeak. And then it's like it lands and it gets up. It's like, it's fine. And then the camera pans over to its dead brother on the ground.

[Bob]

God damn.

[Wade]

Jesus.

[Markiplier]

No, it's not a fun. It's not a fun video. I don't know why I'm laughing.

[Bob]

But that is funny, though.

[Markiplier]

You're right.

[Bob]

I agree with you, Mark. That's fair. No, that those guys. I know. It's the whole. It's a whole thing. And it goes both ways, right? The wildlife cinematographers, which, like, don't interact. You can't affect nature.

[Markiplier]

We're going to.

[Bob]

But they just sit there and like, literally there are situations where they could. Like, if I just reached out, I could totally save this daddy baby animal from drowning in front of me or. But I. I won't, though.

[Markiplier]

I won't.

[Bob]

I'm just going to film it so everyone can see back home. I. Do you think that they like that or does that, like, fuck them up? Because I feel like that must be wild. That must be really weird and wild to be that close to that.

[Markiplier]

They must get sometimes really incredible, beautiful, heartwarming footage that hopefully balances out all the. Nature is a cruel beast and you will die by being eaten, guaranteed.

[Wade]

Whatever they see, like, two teens camping in the woods and a bear comes in is, like, dragging them away. And they look up like, the love of God, help me. And the camera guy's like, oh, this is really good footage.

[Bob]

Nature, guys. Nature. Sorry.

[Markiplier]

Nature's so beautiful.

[Wade]

These are natural campers. Please help me. I see you. I know you can hear me.

[Markiplier]

I see you.

[Bob]

There's two camera guys filming the same thing, and one starts getting attacked by the bear and the other guy's like, nature, it's happening.

[Markiplier]

I can't help him, though.

[Bob]

I have this gun right here, but I can only save myself.

[Markiplier]

You're with the nature now you.

[Wade]

They themselves get attacked and they just aim the camera at themselves. Nature. Can't help myself. Nature.

[Markiplier]

Blair Witchley, nature sniper. Deliver nature. Nature.

[Bob]

Nature in the booth, sir. David Attenborough is just like, oh, here we see young Gary getting mauled to death by a lion.

[Wade]

Why don't you fight back, Gary, the aliens guy. Nature.

[Bob]

Meme never gets old. It applies to everything. I sent you that meme recently, I think, right?

[Markiplier]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Yeah, you did. I forget what.

[Bob]

For what it was about the Bengals. I think I put sadness on it. We're talking. We're talking about the Bengals and I was just like, sadness.

[Wade]

I don't think we texted during the last game. I think we both are just at the point of, like, acceptance. No, I.

[Bob]

You know, I couldn't watch the Bengals with this week because they were on at the same time as my new team, the Lions, by which I Mean, they played the Lions and got their ass beat. But I'm a Lions fan again now, so that was a great game for me.

[Markiplier]

All right, so that's Bob. Small talk. Well done. Good small.

[Bob]

That's my life, Wade.

[Wade]

Well, I was going to talk about the rain some more, but Bob beat me to it. It turns out we live kind of.

[Markiplier]

Close, but, yeah, yeah, the rain points have all been scooped up and we're.

[Bob]

Both boring old guys who talk about the weather all the time.

[Wade]

Oh, Friday I got my Covid and flu code booster and flu shot. So as Friday went along, I was like, oh, man, getting real tired for some reason, I don't know, I passed out. For me, very early. I went upstairs, hung out with Molly. We were watching something on TV at, like 11 o', clock, and I was just like, kicking back, like, oh, man, I'm feeling pretty tired. It's gonna be nice to kick back and watch something with. Just passed out immediately. And then went to bed, slept probably, like 10 hours. Woke up, felt really awful for two hours. I'm always like, you should go back to bed. And for some reason, when someone suggests I sleep, I'm always like, no, I don't need sleep. Sleep. What do you mean?

[Bob]

I'm fine.

[Wade]

I'm awake, wide awake. Do you ever have that where you talk to somebody who also. They. They fall asleep and you're like, hey, are you sleeping? And they're like, no, no, I wasn't. It's like, clearly you were snoring. Obviously you were, but they have to deny it.

[Markiplier]

No, no. I think I've had this before where Amy has said that at night I have started snoring where in my head, I'm just like, oh, man, I'm not falling asleep here. No snores at all. And she'll tell me that I was just snoring. And I'm like, no, I'm. That's impossible. There's no way I was conscious this whole time. I was aware of my experiences. There's no way. But apparently I was.

[Wade]

We had a friend visit recently who fell asleep and same thing that were like, hey, you passed out for a few minutes. And like, no, I didn't.

[Markiplier]

His consciousness is a really fragile, thin veil between us and the darkness. So I think that it's. It's very easy to miss these experiences.

[Wade]

I did fall asleep, and then I was like, no, I don't want to go back to bed. All right, fine. I guess I'll go lay down. I'm not going to sleep passed out Immediately again, slept for like three or four hours. But that was fun. And then yesterday I was feeling. Feeling a lot better, so I went and threw football for a few hours and man, upper body sore today.

[Bob]

You just threw a football around for a few hours?

[Markiplier]

Yeah.

[Bob]

How? With one other person or what? That's like, I like my nephew. That sounds fun, but that's a lot of hours of just like standing out there.

[Wade]

Like, yeah, we weren't throwing super long distance because we were staying within like, let's talk while we throw. So we were just kind of like chit chatting about all kinds of stuff, Legos and things. He's a big Star wars fan. Sort of like Star Wars Legos. And we were just throwing ball while we chatted.

[Bob]

Will you come over and have a catch with me sometime?

[Wade]

Dude, I love talking. I thought, throw football. I love throwing football.

[Bob]

That sounds nice.

[Wade]

And foot still kind of healing a little bit. So I was like, probably easier just to toss than it would be to, like, run around. We were going to play basketball, but the thought of running around and jumping while this is still on my heel was like, maybe. Maybe just like casual toss to be easier. Yeah, we just chit chatted through football for a few hours and they woke up and I was like, oh.

[Bob]

Is.

[Markiplier]

That how you always wake up?

[Wade]

Usually it's a little bit better than usual.

[Markiplier]

I'll save my small talk for when I'm inevitably the loser and go to the next round to participate.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Wade]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.

[Markiplier]

Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.

[Bob]

Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.

[Markiplier]

Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

[Wade]

It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions, please use responsibly.

[Bob]

Don't chew on that, Max.

[Wade]

Cooper loves that chew too.

[Bob]

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow, he is loving it. What do you feed Cooper?

[Wade]

Blue Buffalo Life protection formula.

[Bob]

He never leaves a crumb.

[Markiplier]

I love it because it's made with.

[Bob]

High quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and.

[Wade]

Veggies, and wholesome whole grains.

[Bob]

Looks like we're switching to blue.

[Markiplier]

Blue Buffalo foods are made with the.

[Bob]

Superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive.

[Markiplier]

Can your dog food say that?

[Wade]

Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

[Markiplier]

I have a game for you good guys. I have devised it. And by me, I mean Amy. Amy's device this even better. In this game, only letters. Friends, you are going to use the Alphabet to help you survive death, defying scenarios that are going to risk your very existence. Now, the way that it's going to work, we're gonna take turns. Both of you are going to go first and the person who goes first gets to pick the letter. You don't know the scenario that you're in, but you get to pick the letter of the items you will choose to survive. It's a quick fire round. You use that letter to pick an item out of the air and then immediately goes to the next person as fast as you can, back and forth. Bing bong, bing bong, bong, same letter. And then I will write them down and judge which one of you actually helped yourself survive. It is possible that you both survive and, and, and pass the test and get a point that round. But otherwise, if you picked bad items because you're limited by the letter, you die. You don't get a point. Make sense?

[Bob]

Yeah, I like this. I don't think Wade knows very many words. I think I have a huge advantage here.

[Markiplier]

I'll toss a coin to go first. Or maybe I'll just be like the number one up there above me right now. Bob, you'll go first. And how it'll go is you'll pick a letter and it can only be picked once. So I'm crossing letters off the Alphabet as we go. Then I'll give you the scenario. And as soon as I give you the scenario, it's go time. You have to pick as fast as you can. I will dock points if you take too long or I'll cut you off if you can't.

[Wade]

Do we need to pick multiple items with the same letter or how many items do we get?

[Bob]

One letter per round? Five items?

[Wade]

Yes.

[Markiplier]

Okay, so. So I will skip your turn though if you take too long and it'll go to the other person. So you could possibly lose out a chance to pick an item or the other person can snipe the item that you are going to pick, but it has to start with that letter. It can be multiple words, but it Had. The first word has to start with that letter. I won't let you say sentences of items. It has to be either one or two words. You can't say the biggest bag of survival items that will help me in the scenario. I won't allow that. Can't do that.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Markiplier]

All right. You both understand how it goes. Do you need me to re. Explain it, Wade?

[Wade]

No, I'll just watch Bob do it. And if he does it right, I'll do what he does. But wrong.

[Bob]

We kind of have to do it at the same time. So I hope I'm still feeling good about my chances.

[Markiplier]

Okay. Yeah, it's good. This is looking good for you, Bob.

[Wade]

Okay, hold on. Then if we run at the same time, do we each pick our own letter then?

[Bob]

No, no, no.

[Markiplier]

It's the same letter. The person who's going picks the letter. I read them the prompt. I read both of you the prompt. And then the person goes first, gets the first pick. Has to be an item that starts with that letter. Then the other person, Same letter.

[Wade]

Okay, so we tend to need 10 items that start with that letter because he'll have five. I'll have five.

[Markiplier]

Exactly. And then you can't say the same item. You have to. New items 5 times take too long. I'm going to skip you. Are you boys ready?

[Bob]

Yes.

[Markiplier]

Yes. All right, Bob, what is your letter? L. L. Great choice, I think.

[Wade]

All right.

[Bob]

You all right?

[Wade]

Yeah, fine.

[Bob]

What you have done? If I said M.

[Markiplier]

How do I write that as a point?

[Bob]

H U H U U U H U U H U A H. Oh.

[Markiplier]

That would have been better. I was doing double O's.

[Wade]

I think. In Lethal Company there was a mod I used where there was like an L dance. So whenever you said L, I immediately thought of the L dance.

[Markiplier]

The L dance from Lethal Company and not Fortnite. I'm proud of you, man. That's good.

[Wade]

I don't play Fortnite, so. Yes.

[Bob]

Good boy.

[Markiplier]

So it's L. And we're going to start with a simple one. These are all life or death scenarios. So if it doesn't feel as life or death as possible, I'm going to. You say the word, I'll make it more life or death. You both are falling out of an airplane. No parachute. Go.

[Bob]

Long rope.

[Markiplier]

Long rope.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Bob]

Go.

[Markiplier]

Lift. Lift.

[Bob]

All right.

[Wade]

Like a lift. Like a ski lift, you know?

[Markiplier]

Oh, like a whole ski lift to catch me, Bob.

[Bob]

Light aircraft.

[Markiplier]

Okay, all right, stop. You can't say more. Okay, wait. Lamborghini Lambo. He's got it.

[Wade]

Hopefully it's got good airbags.

[Bob]

Lingonberry jam.

[Markiplier]

Lingonberry jam. Excellent choice.

[Wade]

Lipstick. So I look my best when I die.

[Bob]

Bob. Oh, man. Laser pointer.

[Markiplier]

Laser pointer. Got it.

[Bob]

Wade.

[Wade]

Lake to land in.

[Markiplier]

I'll even give you it's a landing lake. But need I remind you, water at a terminal velocity is still just as hard. All right, Bob, last chance.

[Bob]

Oh, a. A launcher.

[Markiplier]

A launcher.

[Bob]

A me launcher. If I. If I. I can't explain it. You'll have to just understand.

[Markiplier]

It's a launcher. It can be a launcher of me, but not a MII launcher. You go. You watch yourself. Wait.

[Wade]

Lisa.

[Markiplier]

Lisa.

[Bob]

Lola.

[Wade]

Lisa.

[Markiplier]

You decided to take another person with you.

[Wade]

Lisa from the Simpsons. She'll have some good ideas.

[Bob]

Baby.

[Wade]

Lisa.

[Bob]

Parachute. We could share. You better ask.

[Markiplier]

All right, so let me recap your choices. Bob, you have a long rope, light aircraft, Lingonberry jam, a laser pointer and a launcher. Wade, you have a lift, a ski lift, a Lambo, a lipstick, a lake. Lake and Lalisa.

[Wade]

Now.

[Bob]

L was harder than I thought it would be. I have to be honest.

[Markiplier]

We did a couple test rounds. It's very difficult. All right, so the ski lift, I don't think. I think it needs to be embedded in the ground to actually help you, Wade. And the ski lift, I would think would start with an S. But Lambo, not known for being very crash resistant, I don't think. Cool, though. Very cool. Very cool. Way. You're going to look great when you d. Lambo lipstick. Lolisa, in the passenger seat. Aim for the lake, babe. Oh, look, there's a lift. We can go up and fall again when we.

[Wade]

Yeah. Is the goal of this to live?

[Markiplier]

Yeah, the goal is to live, presumably.

[Bob]

Okay. Yeah.

[Markiplier]

Okay. So, because, Bob, you have a long rope, a light aircraft, lingonberry jam, laser pointer and a launcher. I mean, the light aircraft kind of wins you this one.

[Bob]

Yeah. The rest of it was just for fun. Lingonberry jam as a snack. Laser pointer to make other pilots blind and make them crash their planes while I'm flying my light aircraft. You know, fun stuff is pointed at.

[Markiplier]

Wade as he's going down. So you just make sure he doesn't get it.

[Wade]

I make fun of Wade.

[Bob]

I point at Wade. I point at where I think he's gonna land.

[Wade]

Like Lisa takes a wheel, I can't see.

[Markiplier]

I think I'll accept items that sabotage your opponent to make sure they die, because it's. If you both survive, you both get a point. But if you.

[Wade]

If the other one d He's gonna hit the lake. Uses the launcher.

[Markiplier]

Calling it for Bob. That's a Bob point right there. So you got the. You got the surviving. However, I'm gonna make an additional rule here that's gonna make it even more difficult for you guys. I'll explain. Just a second. So that was.

[Bob]

I had a long rope. Maybe I can save you, Wade. Not Lisa, just you.

[Markiplier]

So that's what I'll say is the rule. Adjectives, if the. It can't be the letter, can't be an adjective describing the actual item. So long rope, I would accept light aircraft, because that is a whole cate category of aircraft. But long rope is just a longer rope. So we'll make judgment calls. I'll give you a second chance if. If that's what you come up with. But we'll try to catch that. So long rope is just a rope. Just like a ski. A lift. A ski lift would be a ski lift, not a lift lift. I would think it would be an elevator, which might have helped. No, that wouldn't help you at all. No, actually, Levator. So Bob gets the first point there. Wade, you smack into the lake in a Lambo with Lisa and lipstick.

[Bob]

But you look great.

[Markiplier]

Oh, man, you're. Well, your corpse is actually a mangled, metal infused mess and soggy.

[Bob]

But if anyone had taken a picture of you moments before. Look, it's so good.

[Markiplier]

Just super cool. Lisa's just.

[Wade]

But I hand her the lipstick after I use it so she has a distraction.

[Markiplier]

All right, Wade, you get to pick your letter, and then I get to tell you your survival or death scenario.

[Wade]

Perfect. Let's go with the letter B, boys.

[Markiplier]

You too. Some dictator has said that you're gonna die. You're on. You're against a wall. There is a firing squad in front of you, and they are going to fire. They're gonna count down. Three, two, one, fire. But you get B words to decide if you survive. Wade, go.

[Wade]

Blocks. All right, I build a wall of blocks.

[Markiplier]

All right, you could said bricks maybe, but blocks. All right, Bob?

[Bob]

Well, I thought this. I assumed this one wouldn't be on there, but. Bulletproof vest.

[Markiplier]

I'll take it. Bulletproof, because I think that description is a very specific type of vest. I think that works. All right, Wade, A bomb. You don't want to hit me, do you?

[Wade]

Yeah, I've got a bomb.

[Markiplier]

I'm gonna make sure it's a big round one with a big wick at the top. All right, Bob.

[Bob]

Bouncy ball, bouncy ball.

[Markiplier]

You got It. Wade.

[Wade]

Bobcat.

[Markiplier]

Bobcat. The vehicle. Or a cat.

[Bob]

Cat.

[Wade]

Descend after them.

[Markiplier]

That might be awesome. All right, Bob.

[Bob]

Ah, no, that's a good idea, Wade. Bobcat. The skid. Steer, though. All right, Wade, back to you.

[Wade]

Blank slate?

[Markiplier]

Blank slate. All right. Cool, man.

[Bob]

Bob. Blades.

[Markiplier]

Blades. Just the vampire or weapons?

[Bob]

Weapons, blade.

[Wade]

Buildings.

[Bob]

What the fuck?

[Markiplier]

How many?

[Wade]

Billions. Billions of buildings. Let's start with a B.

[Bob]

Right?

[Markiplier]

It counts. Yeah.

[Bob]

All right.

[Markiplier]

Yeah. This genie.

[Wade]

I'm a genie.

[Markiplier]

That takes you very literally. You get billions of buildings. All right, Bob. Last chance.

[Bob]

Oh. Bill Clinton. Secret Service has to protect him. He has a Secret Service. He has a Secret Service detail for the rest of his life because he was president. Bill Clinton, they wouldn't be cool with that. They'd help.

[Markiplier]

All right.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Markiplier]

Wait.

[Wade]

We don't have to recap, man.

[Markiplier]

Suddenly, blocks appear in a wall in front of you. Of what type? LEGO bricks, I'm guessing. You have a bomb strapped to your chest. You have a cat, a bobcat, which is not that big of a cat, to be honest.

[Wade]

Still scary if it runs at you.

[Markiplier]

They have guns, though, so I think they'll be all right. You have a blank slate. So you just have a tab. A stone tablet with nothing on it. And then billions of buildings are falling on your head. Now, what kind of monkeys, Paul?

[Wade]

Wish they're falling on my head?

[Markiplier]

Well, I mean, you either spawn inside of them and you clip into the walls like that, or.

[Bob]

Yeah. Is this like Inception or some shit? Or just.

[Markiplier]

Yeah. The whole horizon just folding in with buildings.

[Wade]

I think I did okay.

[Markiplier]

Well, the bomb. Well, you would have been Maybe. Fine. But the bomb, really? Bomb? You got a bomb?

[Bob]

Does he get to choose? Is it on, like a timer or is it like a.

[Markiplier]

No, it's a big one with a fuse slit. All right. Anyway, so wait. Bob. Bulletproof vest. Very good. Not quite head protection, but it protects your core, which is where most of them aim for, I guess.

[Bob]

Yeah, they're gonna aim center mass. That's the strategy for the bouncy ball.

[Markiplier]

Will distract their aim. The bobcat, a skid steer, has, like, a full cage on it, so you're kind of inside that and a little more protected. Blades for chopping the bullets out of the air, I'm guessing.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah. Deadpool style. From that X Men movie, when he's all. Has no mouth and he's all creepy and he's all. Okay. Not from the Deadpool movie where he doesn't hit any of them. He just gets shot a bunch.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Markiplier]

All right, so I'M guessing I can't guarantee you that skill. But you'll try.

[Bob]

I'll try. Yeah.

[Markiplier]

And then Bill Clinton's there, plus Secret Service, probably.

[Bob]

Yeah. He's standing in between me and the firing squad. And the Secret Service are like rushing in from the sides. Get down, Mr. President. And I'm like, I'm with him now.

[Markiplier]

I would say that the buildings would be a problem for you, but you have a Bobcat, which is a skid steer, and it does have a full cage. So if a building topples on it, you're not guaranteed to survive. But with the bulletproof vest, the blades and Bill Clinton, I think you. I think you live, man. I'm pretty sure.

[Wade]

Can't shoot through Legos.

[Markiplier]

Cuz they're still gonna shoot at the end of it. They still shoot even if I have a bomb? Yeah, probably.

[Wade]

They never seen a movie. Can't shoot the guy who has a bomb.

[Bob]

Yeah. It's too bad you can't explain because you should. It should be a bomb with a deadman trigger where you're holding your hand out and you're all, if my finger comes off this button. Because then they'll get it. Yeah, yeah.

[Wade]

Doesn't it have to be.

[Bob]

That's. No, that's not commonly how that works. That's a specific thing.

[Markiplier]

Have to fit the letter. Okay. All right, back to you, Bob. You're both doing wonderfully, but one is doing more wonderfully than the other.

[Bob]

I was gonna go one way or the other, depending on how this was going, and I feel like I'm gonna regret this, but I choose Q. Q. Q.

[Markiplier]

Damn. Bold Q. All right. What a quandary. Quite the choice. Quack.

[Bob]

Third Q word. All right, let's get into this.

[Markiplier]

Both of your scenario, and you're in separate vehicles for this one, so you're not in the same car. Unless you want to be in the same car. But given Wade's choices, I'm going to put you conveniently in separate cars. I appreciate that, Bob. Your end, Wade, Your car has driven off a bridge. There was ice on the road. You slid, bam, right dead center into a frigid frozen river. So not only has your car gone down through the top layer of ice, it is now under the ice. You have your windows are up. Death defying scenario. Almost guaranteed. Death under frozen river. Your letter is Q. Take it away.

[Bob]

Well, this is the whole thing I was banking on for this. And I'm gonna stick to my guns, even though I'm not sure how it helps. I want a Quetzalcoatl. Quetzal. Quetzalcoatlus.

[Markiplier]

You have to be able to pronounce it. You have to be able to.

[Bob]

Quetzalcoatlus.

[Markiplier]

Quetzalcoatlus. Okay. Quetz. I have to look up what that is afterwards.

[Bob]

It's a. We talked about it in my words, in my one man show. It's one of the animals. It's a dinosaur. It's a big flying dinosaur. Quetzalcoatlus or.

[Markiplier]

All right, I did not spell that right. All right, Wade.

[Wade]

Quickness.

[Markiplier]

Quickness. All right, you get quickness. You know, I'll give it to you that. That works.

[Bob]

I want Quicksilver to save me. The Marvel character.

[Markiplier]

Oh, the. The Marvel character. Wait.

[Wade]

Oh, I have to go again. The Queen.

[Markiplier]

The Queen. The Queen.

[Wade]

A queen.

[Markiplier]

You get the band. Queen.

[Wade]

I'll take it. Just gotta get out. Just gotta get right out of here. I know, Freddy.

[Bob]

I'm trying.

[Markiplier]

Oh, man. All right, Bob, Back. Back to you.

[Bob]

Quest Love.

[Wade]

What?

[Markiplier]

Quest Love.

[Bob]

Quest Love. Isn't he the drummer from. That is. Oh, no. Yeah, Questlove. He's a. He's a drummer. American musician.

[Markiplier]

Oh, all right. You got a drummer.

[Bob]

He's the drummer for the Roots. That's where I know him from. Because. Because the Roots were on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Markiplier]

All right, Cool. Questlove, drummer. I got it. Wait.

[Wade]

Oh, no. Queef so I have air to move. Queef so I have air.

[Markiplier]

Queefs so I have air.

[Wade]

My brain was just like. Don't say queefs.

[Markiplier]

Don't say queef for air.

[Wade]

All right, come in.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob, back to you.

[Bob]

I would like a Quality Inn Motel.

[Markiplier]

Quality Inn.

[Bob]

Maybe at the bottom of the river there's a Quality Inn. I'm not sure.

[Markiplier]

Somewhere, some haunted. Quality Inn that sank into the river many moons ago. Okay, gotcha, Wade.

[Wade]

Oh, Quillfish.

[Markiplier]

I'm gonna assume that's a real fish.

[Wade]

It's a Pokemon. It's a Pokemon.

[Bob]

You're right. You're right.

[Markiplier]

Oh, the Pokemon. Qwilfish.

[Wade]

My loyal Pokemon will help me get out.

[Markiplier]

I'm assuming it's a water based Pokemon that actually could help you. Okay, that might be good.

[Wade]

The original version. Then there's a Lolit or something that's like poison stupid.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob, last choice.

[Bob]

I'm not stealing from Wade, but maybe this was sparked by that. I want Quill, the Star Lord himself. Quill?

[Markiplier]

Oh, Peter Quill.

[Bob]

Yeah, but they just call him Quill a lot. Or anyway, Gamora does, right?

[Wade]

They call.

[Bob]

Where's Quill? Where's Quill.

[Markiplier]

Okay. Is that true, Wade? Do they call him Just Quill?

[Wade]

They do.

[Markiplier]

All right. Okay, we'll. I'll give you that. Quill. Star Lord Quill. Okay, wait. Last chance, Quill.

[Wade]

Like the feather. So I can write my last will.

[Markiplier]

Intestine.

[Bob]

Hey, don't take my ideas.

[Wade]

Don't take my ideas.

[Markiplier]

All right. Okay, so a lot of this depends on what's a Quetzal Qantas?

[Bob]

It's a big flying dinosaur.

[Markiplier]

Okay, how big are we talking? Oh, that's big.

[Bob]

It's fairly large. I think it's, like, the biggest one.

[Markiplier]

Okay, so your. Your car explodes because there's suddenly a Quetzalcoatlus is spawning inside, so all the doors come off, which is. You know that you do got to get the doors off. You have Quicksilver, which I think, honestly, that's a huge get, because if he knows where you are, he can get you and get you out before the hypothermia sets in. You have Questlove. I'm assuming Quicksilver has to choose between one of you.

[Bob]

BOB, he might like Questlove more than me. I mean, look, I'm not going to speak for Quicksilver, but that's okay because I brought backups.

[Markiplier]

He's very. He's very fast, so I guess he might be. There's a quality in. Somewhere down there in the river.

[Bob]

Isn't Quicksilver the one who isn't. That scene in the mansion where he saves, like, 40 people in the X Men mansion while the whole thing explodes. Isn't that.

[Markiplier]

I'm pretty sure, yes.

[Wade]

Oh, I was thinking of Silver Surfer this whole time. You're talking about the fast dude.

[Bob]

No, Quicksilver is the X Men, and he helps Magneto break out of jail and is.

[Wade]

He's the one that does, like, slow, like.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, time moves slowly. There's actually two Quicksilvers in the Marvel Universe because there's the MCU one, and then there's the Fox X Men one. The Fox X Men one is faster, and that is the one you picked out, the X Men 1. He is faster and has more feats of rescuing people, specifically rescuing people. So I think, without a question, you survive, Bob. The question is whether. Cause, Wade, you have quickness. You have quickness.

[Wade]

Oh, dude, my. I'm not gonna.

[Bob]

Like.

[Wade]

My heart's not gonna stop. Don't stop me now. Don't stop me. Don't stop me.

[Markiplier]

You have Queen quickness. Queefs. As many queefs as you need for air.

[Wade]

Pure air.

[Markiplier]

Unlimited queefs. You have Qwilfish and a quill. A feather. Let me look up what Qwilfish is but a balloon. A balloon Pokemon. What?

[Wade]

Oh, like a blowfish.

[Bob]

That's kind of what you want.

[Markiplier]

It's also poisonous, so grabbing onto it is gonna be. It's very spiky.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Maybe we just do mouth to mouth.

[Markiplier]

I don't think you want to do mouth to mouth with it. I'm not sure why you would offer that up as your first choice.

[Wade]

Air.

[Bob]

You already have air. You have all the air you need. Don't forget about your Queefs.

[Markiplier]

It's literally 0.5 meters in height. It's one foot ball when inflated and covered in spikes.

[Bob]

That would probably. If you, like, grabbed onto the tail.

[Markiplier]

Okay, there is a tail. I gotta look up whether 8.6 pounds of buoyancy is enough to lift you out of the river.

[Wade]

I've also got quickness and you're quick. And think of Freddie Mercury's lungs singing underwater, pushing me out.

[Markiplier]

And all the queefs. You know, all the queefs.

[Wade]

Yeah. There's a lot of buoyancy as you.

[Bob]

Float away with your queefs and Qwilfish. Freddie Mercury sitting on the bottom of the river. Just like, I want to ride my bicycle.

[Wade]

We are the champion.

[Markiplier]

I'm gonna give you a 50. 50 shot. How about that's the best I can do for you on this because it's like you have some things working for you, but this is a death defying scenario. You have one Pokemon. But even in the Pokemon world, I can imagine an episode where ashes in a frozen river, like, help. And Qwilfish isn't able to save. Heads, you survive. Tails, you don't. Oh, Heads.

[Wade]

You made it. That's right.

[Markiplier]

All right. You get that?

[Wade]

Her Majesty Queen.

[Markiplier]

You. Yes.

[Wade]

You.

[Markiplier]

Yes. I'm not sure why I'm saying it like that. Yes. You win. You survived, Wade. Congratulations, Bob. You also survived. So you both get a point going out of there around.

[Bob]

All right.

[Wade]

Never a doubt.

[Markiplier]

This is so much. I'm having so much fun, guys. This is great. It is back to you, Wade. You're going first, which means you get to pick the letter. There's so many letters to choose from. Reminder B, L and Q have been already selected.

[Bob]

I know you wanted to jump on Q. I know that's a hot one.

[Wade]

Oh, don't worry, Bob. I'll get back here with the letter Z. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Are you sure he wants to play games? I'm going to lose now with my own hard letter.

[Bob]

That'll teach us.

[Markiplier]

All right, you two are lost in whatever forest this animal that's stalking you is in. You have just the clothes on your back and these items that you have brought with you, starting with the letter Z. And you are being stalked by three and a half panthers in the middle of the night. I'll let you decide. Which half is that last one.

[Wade]

One.

[Bob]

Too bad for that half guy.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, half panther's really not. Not pulling his weight here.

[Wade]

But just the top half. That way there's no legs.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, there are. Well, I mean, it's kind of old legs, right?

[Bob]

You know.

[Markiplier]

Oh, I see. Just a worm body. That would be terrifying. A panther just. All right, there's. There's three panthers and one snake. Panther coming after you. Yes. Wade, as a reminder, in case you forgot, your letter is Z.

[Wade]

No, I'm gonna take the easy one here. The zebra.

[Markiplier]

Zebra. Okay. All right.

[Wade]

Either to ride me out or distract.

[Markiplier]

I see, I see. Okay. I could see the wisdom.

[Bob]

Bob, I would like my Zeppelin, please.

[Markiplier]

Great choice. Great choice, man. Get right out of that room.

[Wade]

The band or the blimp?

[Bob]

No, no, the rigid airship. The zeppelin. Well, a zeppelin. It's a kind of rigid airship.

[Markiplier]

I'm not sure if there's enough room to deploy it, but we'll see.

[Wade]

We'll see, Zendaya, because I know Spider man will be there to help her.

[Markiplier]

Zendaya, the actress? Yes. Is going to be there because they're banking on Spider man showing up.

[Wade]

Great.

[Markiplier]

Okay.

[Wade]

Probably has, like, a bodyguard.

[Bob]

I'm bringing my own Zen. I choose Zenyatta from Overwatch.

[Wade]

Oh, damn, that's a good one.

[Markiplier]

Zenyatta. This is a great stack up. This is good. All right. Zenyatta practically flies. A big robot. And deadly. Very good.

[Bob]

He fart hovers, does he? He sits cross legged, but hovers. So I always consider. I always considered him to be a fart hoverer.

[Markiplier]

He's got the unlimited queef power.

[Bob]

I was the Zenyatta main back in the day, so I love that dude.

[Markiplier]

It was fun. All right, wait.

[Wade]

Zipper to zip the trees together so the panthers can't get through.

[Bob]

Zipper.

[Wade]

Big zipper.

[Markiplier]

Okay. You get one big zipper. You zip up two of the trees. Out of the millions and billions of trees.

[Wade]

I'll take it.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob, back to you.

[Bob]

Not at all. Stealing an idea from Wade from the last round. I choose Zapdos.

[Markiplier]

Zapdos. All right. Okay, all right.

[Bob]

The. The lightning Flying Pokemon Zapdos. One of the three trilogy of what Are those things. What's that called? The Blue Eyes, White Dragon of Pokemon or whatever they are. What are those things?

[Wade]

The legendary birds.

[Bob]

Those ones. The legendary birds. They're. Yeah, whatever. I don't know the lore that well, Wade.

[Wade]

Well, I choose the move Zap Cannon, so I have a 33% chance of.

[Markiplier]

Hitting.

[Wade]

But if it hits, it really damages.

[Bob]

All right. Okay.

[Markiplier]

All right. Okay, okay. It's fine.

[Bob]

It's fine.

[Wade]

All right.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob, back to you.

[Bob]

Mm. I know lots of stuff that starts with Z. I'm just trying to pick which one I want.

[Markiplier]

Well, you got a limited time.

[Bob]

I choose ZZ Tops.

[Markiplier]

This is ZZ Top. The whole band?

[Bob]

All of them. Hopefully they're on a tour bus or something.

[Markiplier]

Are they all still alive?

[Bob]

I do not know. They are quite old, but I have no idea.

[Markiplier]

Well, if they are alive, the.

[Wade]

If.

[Bob]

If.

[Markiplier]

If any of them aren't alive, their dead body will show up.

[Bob]

Girls go crazy about a sharp dress, man.

[Wade]

Zoe Saldana, who plays Gamora.

[Markiplier]

Oh, yeah, but not Gamora.

[Bob]

Just.

[Wade]

But she knows how to be Gamora.

[Markiplier]

You brought two actresses out into the middle of there, just standing there like, why have you done this? Zoe said.

[Wade]

And I still say Zavengers, ze symbol.

[Markiplier]

They're like, all right. Okay, Bob, back to you.

[Bob]

Man, I have so many words just rushing through my head. I choose Zero Point, which is the ultimate ability of the agent Ko from the game Valorant, which disables. Which disables characters abilities when they're hit with it.

[Markiplier]

What is the panther's ability?

[Bob]

I don't know. Speed, biting, Whatever. Whatever abilities they have, they can't do nothing. All they can do is slowly walk around and be all, I'm disabled. Temporarily.

[Markiplier]

I think their. Their best ability is that they are black at night, so they're almost invisible, so they turn white. I'll say they, like, invert, so they're really easy to spot.

[Bob]

It's also cool because it's like a throwing knife thing.

[Markiplier]

You're all.

[Bob]

He says something cool, and then he's.

[Markiplier]

All, all right, man. You have stacked up the powers, Bob. You got a zeppelin to get out of there. So you not only get out of your home, you got Zenyatta, who's probably. Let's just assume he only takes one of them down, which. It's Zenyatta. He can also heal. He's primarily a healer, Zapdos, which is literally like a giant electrical bird.

[Wade]

Unless the panthers are ground type.

[Bob]

Oh, that's true. Our panther's ground type. They seem more like they seem more like normal type to me.

[Wade]

Or dark. Probably dark type.

[Bob]

Maybe dark. I could see dark.

[Markiplier]

Maybe.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Markiplier]

All right, ZZ Top is there playing music. And then zero point disability from Valorant. I'm gonna just go on a limb and say you're gonna survive the 3 1/2 Panthers pretty easily.

[Wade]

All right, maybe with a couple scratches. Unlike me.

[Markiplier]

Yeah. Well, Wade, don't be too shocked because you have a zebra, which very easy target for a panther that takes one of the panthers away.

[Bob]

Wait, just has bait to defeat.

[Markiplier]

Give Zendaya two other people.

[Wade]

You have Zoe Saldana, who gives him.

[Markiplier]

But the problem is. I said three and a half panthers.

[Wade]

Oh, don't worry. I could have kept out for that.

[Markiplier]

You've got a zap cannon. What the fuck was zap cannon again?

[Wade]

It's a move that, like, does crazy damage, but I think it's only got, like, a 33% chance to hit.

[Bob]

So presumably it would kill half of a Panther.

[Markiplier]

Okay, it's 33%, which. But it's half a panther, so it's slower. Look, man, the zipper ain't gonna help you. I think this is still a 5050 shot. I'm not already, but the. The bait really got your numbers down. The bait really worked.

[Bob]

Yeah. I didn't see the vision until just now. That makes so much sense how it.

[Markiplier]

Weighs on your conscience. I don't know. How's that feel, Wade? Is that okay? You live with that.

[Wade]

Already forgotten about it.

[Markiplier]

Let's see if you're gonna keep forgetting about it. Oh, no.

[Bob]

Oh, that looks like a hit.

[Markiplier]

No, that's a Tails.

[Bob]

Unfair.

[Markiplier]

Unfair. Okay.

[Bob]

He called unfair on that coin flip. You call unfair? That's the thing.

[Wade]

Yes.

[Markiplier]

Okay, so if. If it's unfair, obviously you survive it overturns it. But if it's doubly fair, you lose a point.

[Wade]

Deal?

[Markiplier]

Deal. All right, here we go. Bonk. Wham.

[Bob]

Heads.

[Markiplier]

Tails. So close. So close, man.

[Wade]

Unfair times two.

[Bob]

Listen, we're gonna have to add some stuff to the Constitution if you wanna.

[Markiplier]

Do that, all right? Sorry, Wade, it didn't work out for you, man.

[Wade]

Half a panther away.

[Bob]

That's so. That's honestly really close. It's pretty good.

[Markiplier]

Really, really close, man. You almost made it out.

[Wade]

I should have brought a zigzagoon instead of a zipper.

[Bob]

More bait. Yeah, More bait.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, man. All right. Okay.

[Wade]

Zaquil fish. It's French.

[Markiplier]

This episode is brought to you by NOS Energy. NOS Energy exists to boost your horsepower, so it depends on what kind of boost you need. Are you. You Prepping for an exam? Are you prepping for a job interview? Are you prepping to wake up in the morning? You a prepper?

[Bob]

Oh, I'm a big prepper.

[Wade]

If you want the high performance boost that tastes great, NOS Energy comes in a range of refreshing flavors. Original GT Grape and Sonic Sour. And NOS Zero Sugar is, you guessed it, sugar free.

[Markiplier]

NOS Energy. Get after it. Find out more at drinknos.com that'S-R-I-N k n o s.com this podcast is brought.

[Wade]

To you by Carvana. Carvana lets you buy your next car on your terms. Explore a massive inventory online filter for what matters and find your perfect match. Then choose delivery to your home or.

[Markiplier]

Pick it up at one of Carvana's.

[Bob]

Iconic car vending machines.

[Markiplier]

Every car also comes with a seven.

[Wade]

Day money back guarantee, so you can make sure it's the right fit. Buy your car on Carvana. Delivery or pickup fees may apply. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven day return [e-mail] Carvana.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob, back to you. What is your letter? C. C. Good choice. Not quite. Crap. Cunning cement.

[Bob]

Hey, stop taking my words.

[Markiplier]

I don't know how to give encouragement with the C word.

[Bob]

Cool choice, comrade.

[Markiplier]

Cool choice. Cool choice, comrade. Okay, that's good. Okay. Gentlemen, you have gone on a shopping trip. But this shopping trip has gone horribly, horribly awry. You are dead center in the middle of the world's largest ikea. And unfortunately, the building has caught on fire. You're in the maze like areas of ikea. Everything's flammable. Super flammable, actually. The sprinkler system is out. You either have to escape or die in the flames. The letter is C. Bob is going first. Whenever you're ready.

[Bob]

I don't know what it does, but I choose a class C fire extinguisher. I feel like that's an adjective, but it's a specific kind of fire extinguisher. There's A through D and K, and there's. Apparently it is involved in putting out electrical equipment fires such as motors, appliances, power tools. But it. It is still just generally a fire extinguisher.

[Markiplier]

Wade, how do you feel about that one?

[Wade]

It doesn't sound like it'll be that useful, so let him have it.

[Markiplier]

All right. Class C. Specifically class C fire extinguisher. You got it, Wade.

[Wade]

Carpet, comma magic to fly out on. There's two C's in there. Yeah, if he gets fire extinguisher. Why can't I have a carpet?

[Markiplier]

If. If you could say chaw magic or something like that. Maybe, but I. This is bending the rules quite a bit, guys. I.

[Wade]

Let him be.

[Markiplier]

All right, I'm gonna give you a carpet and I'm gonna put parentheses. Magic. I won't tell you what kind of magic.

[Bob]

That's fine.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob, back to you.

[Bob]

I would like a Civic, please.

[Markiplier]

A Civic. All right.

[Wade]

Cooler car.

[Markiplier]

Cooler car than a Civic? Nah, Cooler car. Both with Cs.

[Bob]

I think it works.

[Markiplier]

So he gets a cooler car than you.

[Bob]

That's. That's just a cool. It's a. He can have a car. He doesn't get to have a cooler car. That's an adjective.

[Markiplier]

Well, the car is also a C. It's because the adjective works with this one, because they're both C. So it's. He. He's specifying just what type of. All right, he gets a car. Just any car. I will literally pick a random car out of a random car generator. That's what you get. All right, Bob.

[Bob]

I choose Commander Keen.

[Markiplier]

Commander ke. Who is that?

[Bob]

It's a side scrolling platformer game developed by ID Software.

[Markiplier]

All.

[Bob]

I choose Commander Keane. He'll save us.

[Markiplier]

Uh huh.

[Bob]

Sure.

[Markiplier]

Wade.

[Wade]

Claptrap.

[Markiplier]

Clap trap from Borderland.

[Bob]

He actually does almost always kind of help.

[Markiplier]

He does. He does. He's helpful. Bob Carrier.

[Bob]

I'll let you interpret that. However you might.

[Markiplier]

It might be an IKEA bag, but, you know, we'll see where the cards land. All right, Wade.

[Wade]

Cougar. Also to interpretation.

[Markiplier]

We'll see where the cards land. You got a cougar. All right. Okay, Bob, last choice.

[Bob]

Oh, man, I'm already so safe. You know what? I'll just have a snack. Corn dog. All right.

[Markiplier]

Wait. Last chance.

[Wade]

Wow.

[Bob]

Wow.

[Wade]

Ooh. You were so fast, Bob. Chewing gum. Gum. Chewing gum. Chewing gum.

[Bob]

Hey, you could have another double C if you go the other route. I accidentally. He did.

[Markiplier]

Chewing gum. He's got.

[Wade]

That's what you get. I don't want that gum.

[Markiplier]

Well, I wouldn't allow that because it's just like all gum is chewing for chewing. I don't know the rule. Okay? I don't even know. Next time I'm gonna be super strict. Only single words.

[Wade]

That's what I'll say.

[Markiplier]

Only one word.

[Wade]

World's perfectest letters.

[Bob]

All right. Okay.

[Markiplier]

All right, listen, you guys are messing it up. All right, all right. Classy. Fire extinguisher. That's good. That helps you. I think that would at least get you one room away.

[Bob]

That would be some progress, right?

[Markiplier]

It would make Some progress. You have a Civic? I'm assuming that's a Honda Civic. You could probably pass through a wall or two. Commander Keen.

[Bob]

Commander keen is an 8 year old boy with an IQ of 314. He's a brilliant inventor. He's built a spaceship, he's built the Bean with Bacon mega rocket, as well as other devices out of household materials. And he's known for traveling around on his pogo stick, which he discovered on Mars, allowing him to perform incredible high and far jumps that let him reach inaccessible areas.

[Markiplier]

Holy shit.

[Wade]

He didn't perform incredibly enough to have a game in the last 24 years.

[Markiplier]

Well, either way, that pogostip might jump you out of there. I guess. There's multiple levels to this ikea, but I'm assuming that could help.

[Wade]

Carrier.

[Markiplier]

I'm going to say that's not an aircraft carrier. I'm going to say that's some kind of a thing to carry things. But still, you have a corn dog. Between the fire extinguisher, the Civic to drive through walls, and Commander keen with a 300 IQ, I'm thinking you get out.

[Bob]

I think all I needed was Commander Keen. I think he's got. We're in Ikea surrounded by home goods. That's his materials.

[Markiplier]

Now, Wade, you have a carpet. Magic. I. There is a moment in Aladdin where the carpet catches a little bit on fire, but much like the fire extinguisher, I think that gets you progress towards the exit. But not full pros. I need to pull up a random car generator to see what car you get. A Hyundai Elantra, also good.

[Bob]

That's fine. That's a nice compact car. That's fine.

[Markiplier]

Bam. Through a few more walls and then. Okay, you have claptrap. Now, claptrap's benefit is claptrap is metal, has one wheel, has some weapons. I think, generally speaking, can be zappy.

[Bob]

He zaps.

[Markiplier]

You have a cougar. Is this an older woman or is this the cat?

[Wade]

Leave it to the coin.

[Markiplier]

Oh, all right.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Markiplier]

Heads. Cat. Tails, madam.

[Wade]

Yes.

[Markiplier]

Now it's tails. Okay, so you have a older but attractive female companion and plenty of chewing gum, I think. I think that if there's fire on.

[Wade]

The way out, I use her as another rug.

[Bob]

You feed her to the fire. Just like you fed Zendaya to the Jaguars. There we go.

[Wade]

Ladies out there, never accompany me into a disaster zone.

[Markiplier]

Oh, man. All right. I think you do make it because the carpet gets you pretty far. I think farther than the fire extinguisher. The car is equivalent you bash through there and. Claptrap. Not quite as smart as Commander Keen, but has some utility, so. Besides, you look really cool chewing your chewing gum, blowing on the way out of the fire. Really well done. I think you live.

[Wade]

Oh, man. But at what cost?

[Markiplier]

At what cost? Only nobody really knows. Evidence burned up in the fire. All right, we only got through five letters. I'm shocked. I had a bunch more prompts, but we are fortunately out of time to do any more.

[Wade]

Keep track of what letters we use, though, so that way, if we do it again, we don't have to use those again.

[Markiplier]

I got it. It'll stay in my notebook here. So I'm gonna read the letters, I'm gonna read the points that you got, Bob.

[Wade]

Be ready to be surprised.

[Bob]

What do you mean, man? Does anybody game out here?

[Markiplier]

Oh, man. All right, Bob, you get why. Wet point, dizzy from scream. You won. You survived falling out of an airplane. You survived every scenario. I just realized that you survived everything.

[Bob]

I. I'm a survivor. I'm not going to give up.

[Markiplier]

You survived falling of an airplane. You survived being executed by firing squad. You survived being in a car in a frozen river. You survived three and a half Panthers at night and the fire in the world's largest ikea. Wade, you got a sleeping point. You tossed some football around.

[Bob]

Ooh.

[Markiplier]

That'S what I wrote.

[Bob]

3.

[Markiplier]

Scenario three, which is car in a frozen river, and scenario five, which is world's largest Ikea. So. Oh, yeah, that's it. So with Bob, you have seven points going into the final round, and Wade, you have five points still within the wheel of possibility.

[Wade]

And there's a chance we've not seen sudden death in at least one episode.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah.

[Markiplier]

That.

[Bob]

That won't come up again.

[Markiplier]

I'll put on the wheel. Like, put. Nod. I'd live. What's that mean for the survivor? Like, who is the best? Who. Who lived? I put will to live. The will to live. Because if any of you are just like, I give up or something in the webisode, that'll be will to live. All right, how many spins we doing?

[Bob]

How many? Come on.

[Markiplier]

One. All right, all right. There's still a chance.

[Wade]

Sudden death.

[Markiplier]

Sudden death or golf rules.

[Bob]

The wheel would never pull golf rules again on me.

[Markiplier]

It would never pull golf rules.

[Wade]

I see. Surprise. Golf rules.

[Bob]

These are really getting jammed in here. These long. And here's the one spin.

[Markiplier]

Come on.

[Wade]

Daddy needs a new pair of wins.

[Bob]

Oh, happiest contributions.

[Markiplier]

I will say that might be. Wade, because you were dizzy from a scream. And then you were complaining about the weather being wet. He slept. Even though he was sick, he slept and he tossed a football and he went, oh. And his suggestions made me laugh a lot. So I'm going to give you. I'm going to give you that point. So. But unfortunately, Wade, that puts you at six.

[Wade]

Oh, man, That's a close game.

[Bob]

So close.

[Markiplier]

Yes, it was a close game. And in this game, only Letters Friends. Only Letters Friends was written at the top. I, T, G, O, L, F it. Golf. Golf Rules. From the very beginning, this was a Golf Rules episode.

[Bob]

Oh, Mark did Surprise Golf Rules.

[Markiplier]

In this game, Only Letters Friends. I said that at the beginning, in the opening of this entire episode, as the name of the game. It Golf Wade wins with the lowest number of points.

[Bob]

I'm mad about that, but just because I'm curious, if we had gotten Surprise Golf Rules on the wheel, would that have flipped it back?

[Markiplier]

It would have flipped it back. Yeah. It would have flipped it right back.

[Wade]

That would have been the most painful loss of my career. Can you imagine getting that with the one spin and then having it taken away because the rules were already.

[Bob]

No, imagine. Imagine absolutely having luck dictate that you're the winner of an episode and then having the golf rule spin come up and steal it away from you. Who could that happen to? Who indeed. That. Yeah, that might be the most painful loss of your career win, but we'll never know how that feels. That's a shame. That is.

[Markiplier]

Anyway, masterful performance, Bob. Masterful. What a survivor. You did so good. And by the sheer technicalities of. I'm gonna throw a curveball in here. You don't know how long I was like, how do I hide golf in the name of this thing? Easy.

[Wade]

Just read words and we won't pay attention.

[Markiplier]

You know, I probably could have been that easy because I was like. Like a game of letters freedom, game of letters fun game of letters feelings. I was really trying to figure out how to do that. But in this game, Only Letters Friends is what I came up with. Congratulations, Wade. You, by the sheer cosmic forces that surround you, win.

[Bob]

For some reason, unfair was already called. So I guess there's not even anything I can do about it.

[Markiplier]

No, sadly. Sadly, Hell, yeah.

[Wade]

I really thought this through. Stupidly, somehow. Somehow.

[Markiplier]

You know, Mark, great game.

[Wade]

Bob and I picked some of the not easiest letters to work with. Some that we thought would be easier ended up being harder than expected. But, you know, I gotta give credit where credit is due. Zendaya Zakuger. Zoe Saldana. Thank you for your sacrifices. They didn't help, but somehow they did.

[Bob]

They did help. They just didn't do it all. They contributed a lot, but to that.

[Markiplier]

Scenario, really, they could have contributed just a little. You know me. Anyway, thank you, Bob.

[Wade]

I'm.

[Markiplier]

I am sorry about this one. I almost thought about not doing it, but I did, did plan that from the beginning.

[Bob]

You know what? I do understand it, because we have to manufacture ways where Wade is allowed to win by not paying attention to anything, at least some of the time.

[Wade]

Whoa. I was paying attention to that. I just.

[Bob]

We have to work that in, or he would just never win anything. So I. I get it. You know, I get it.

[Wade]

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[Bob]

I'm not hating the game. I'm. I'm. I'm respecting the game about me.

[Wade]

I feel like I got some.

[Bob]

Oh, I'm just kidding you. Fuck. Anyway, I lose, and Wayne hosts the next one. Hooray.

[Markiplier]

All right, well, thank you guys so much. If only we had rebuttals in these. Luther's music.

[Wade]

I choose to rebuild rebuttal. You know, first, he doesn't even remember the episode I host, and now this.

[Bob]

Hey, you want to come over and have a catch, though? Throw. Throw ball.

[Wade]

Yeah. New winner speech. Thanks, Mark. This is the first episode we've done since the.

[Markiplier]

What?

[Wade]

The couch episode. Real good to be hanging out together again.

[Markiplier]

We've done two episodes since the couch episode.

[Wade]

I don't count either one of them.

[Markiplier]

Listen, listen, listen. I'm glad this is the most divisive episode possible, but I thank Amy for coming up with the idea. That was very fun. You guys did great. I appreciate both of you, but unfortunately, one is the winner. All right, thank you. But you know who's the winner? You at home listening and. Or watching. Both of you did equally good.

[Bob]

I'm assuming all both of our listening watchers.

[Markiplier]

The listener and the watcher. Thank you. Thank you for being here all the way to the end. Hope you enjoyed it. Follow the podcast to stay up to date with it. We do two a week. Don't know if you knew that. And if you haven't told your friends about it, don't do it. Don't tell your friends and family about this podcast. Thank you. Thank you, Bob, Wade. That was very funny. And have a good day. Podcast down. Watch new episodes on Spotify.

[Bob]

Your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one.

[Wade]

Who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly.

[Bob]

They do not always show up on time. But when they arrive, you notice an.

[Markiplier]

Individual confident in their contradictions.

[Wade]

They know the rules, but behave as.

[Markiplier]

If they do not exist.

[Wade]

New Teen the new fragrance by Miu Miu defined by you.