Distractible Podcast – Episode Summary
Podcast: Distractible
Episode: "In This Game... Only Letters, Friends!"
Date: October 13, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens
Overview
This episode is a playful and uproarious exploration of wits, creativity, and quick thinking, as Mark introduces "Only Letters, Friends"—a new game built around surviving wild scenarios using items that start with a chosen letter of the alphabet. The hosts, Wade and Bob, compete to survive mark’s death-defying prompts, all while bantering, riffing on pop culture, and occasionally sabotaging each other with delightfully ridiculous logic.
The camaraderie and humor between the trio shine throughout an episode marked by outrageous item choices (including lipstick, queefs, and ZZ Top), running gags, and a classic Distractible twist in the final moments. If you love word games, improv, and friendly trash talk, this episode is a must-listen.
Key Discussion Points & Segments
1. Opening Banter & Life Updates
[03:31–16:32]
- Bob and Wade recap their weeks: rain is a rare event, child bedtime tantrums (Bob’s son discovers volcanic screaming), and the joys/problems of sleeping too much after Covid/flu boosters.
- Quote [06:44, Bob]: "He did that sort of like, shake of rage and then proceeded to scream louder than anything has ever been in human existence."
- Mark and the gang riff on nature documentaries where camera people let animals (and sometimes humans!) be attacked for the sake of “nature.”
- Notable moment: Discussion about Homelander as a parenting model, which hilariously devolves into dark bird-related slapstick and Attenborough impressions.
— Mark: "Nature is a cruel beast and you will die by being eaten, guaranteed." [10:10]
2. Game Explanation: "Only Letters, Friends"
[16:32–19:24]
- Mark unveils the rules: Each round, a death-defying scenario is presented. Players alternate picking a letter of the alphabet and then, in lightning-round fashion, must name survival items that start with that letter. No duplicate items; quick thinking is essential.
- Mark: “You use that letter to pick an item out of the air and then it immediately goes to the next person as fast as you can, back and forth. Bing bong, bing bong, bong, same letter.” [17:10]
- Competitive spirit is high; Bob claims a vocabulary advantage. Wade is confident but a little apprehensive.
3. Game Segments: Survival Scenarios by Letter
Each round alternates who picks the letter and who goes first. Mark judges which responses best fit the scenario and awards points; creative sabotage is allowed.
A. Letter L: Falling from an Airplane
[20:31–25:17]
Scenario: Survive falling from a plane—only items beginning with "L."
- Highlights:
- Bob’s picks: Long rope, light aircraft, lingonberry jam, laser pointer, launcher.
- Wade’s picks: Lift (ski lift), Lambo, lipstick, lake, Lisa (from "The Simpsons").
- Mark’s recap is full of glee: “Lambo, lipstick, Lolisa, in the passenger seat. Aim for the lake, babe.” [23:36]
Result:
Bob’s "light aircraft" clinches the win.
Wade’s “Lambo + lipstick” make a memorable, if doomed, exit.
B. Letter B: Facing a Firing Squad
[25:49–30:31]
Scenario: Survive a firing squad—only “B” items.
- Wade: Blocks, bomb (comically a “big round one with a wick”), bobcat (the animal), blank slate, billions of buildings.
- Bob: Bulletproof vest, bouncy ball, bobcat (the vehicle), blades (for slicing bullets!), Bill Clinton (for Secret Service protection).
- Bob: “Bill Clinton, Secret Service has to protect him. He has a Secret Service detail for the rest of his life because he was president.” [27:56]
Result:
Bob prevails with pragmatic self-defense and special guest, former President Bill Clinton.
C. Letter Q: Car Sinks Under Ice
[31:31–39:56]
Scenario: Escape a car sinking in a frozen river—“Q” items only.
- Bob: Quetzalcoatlus (giant flying dinosaur), Quicksilver (Marvel speedster), Questlove (drummer), Quality Inn, Quill (Peter "Star-Lord" Quill).
- Mark (on Quicksilver): “If he knows where you are, he can get you and get you out before the hypothermia sets in.” [36:36]
- Wade: Quickness, Queen (the band), queefs (“for air to move”), Qwilfish (a Pokémon), quill (for writing a last will).
- Standout quote: “Queefs so I have air to move.” –Wade [34:15]
- Bob: “You already have air. You have all the air you need. Don’t forget about your Queefs.” [38:31]
Result:
Bob is safe with super-powered help. Wade gets a 50/50 life-or-death coin flip. Mark declares survival on heads—luck is with Wade.
D. Letter Z: Stalked by Panthers in a Forest
[40:15–48:38]
Scenario: Survive three and a half panthers at night—“Z” items only.
- Wade: Zebra (as bait), Zendaya (hoping for Spider-man help), zipper (zip up trees as defense), Zap Cannon (Pokémon move), Zoe Saldana, Zavengers (fake Avengers!).
- Mark: “You brought two actresses out into the middle of there, just standing there like, why have you done this?” [44:24]
- Bob: Zeppelin, Zenyatta (Overwatch), Zapdos (Pokémon), ZZ Top (the band), Zero Point (Valorant ability to disable the enemy).
Result:
Bob’s team of flying Pokémon, robot monks, and a zeppelin secures victory. Wade’s creative use of celebrities and “zap canon” is barely beaten out (and the survival is left up to a coin again—he’s not as lucky this time).
E. Letter C: Escape a Burning IKEA
[49:46–57:22]
Scenario: The world’s largest IKEA is on fire—escape using “C” items.
- Bob: Class C fire extinguisher, Civic, Commander Keen (child prodigy game character), carrier (“however you might”), corn dog (for a snack).
- Wade: “Carpet, comma, magic”, random car (ends up a Hyundai Elantra), Claptrap (Borderlands), cougar (left to coin flip—ends up a “madam”), chewing gum.
- Mark: “You have an older but attractive female companion and plenty of chewing gum.” [56:49]
- Wade (joking): “If there's fire on the way out, I use her as another rug.” [56:52]
Result:
Both survive; Mark concludes that while Commander Keen plus a Civic is hard to beat, a magic carpet and Claptrap are also effective. “But at what cost?”, Mark wonders after Wade implies sacrificing the cougar.
4. The Endgame Twist: ‘Golf Rules’
[57:39–62:32]
- Mark tallies the final points and, with Bob leading, a wheel-of-fate spin is invoked for the last point.
- Secretly, Mark had hidden the true twist from the start: the “Golf Rules” (lowest score wins) are revealed, embedded in the first letters of the episode’s title.
— Mark: “From the very beginning, this was a Golf Rules episode.” [60:40] - Bob, initially triumphant, is undercut—Wade, with fewer points, wins!
- Banter ensues as Bob laments the cruel hand of fate, and Wade basks in his underdog victory.
- Bob: “Imagine absolutely having luck dictate that you’re the winner of an episode and then having the golf rule spin come up and steal it away from you. Who could that happen to?” [61:22]
- Wade: “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” [63:38]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Homelander as a father:
Wade: "I think his first act as a father was to throw his son off of, like, a roof or something, wasn’t it? Spoilers." [08:32] -
On nature documentaries:
Markiplier: “Nature is a cruel beast and you will die by being eaten, guaranteed.” [10:10] -
Inventive wordplay under pressure:
Wade: “Queef so I have air to move.” [34:15]
Bob: “You already have air. You have all the air you need. Don’t forget about your Queefs.” [38:31] -
Fan-favorite sabotage:
Mark: "I think I'll accept items that sabotage your opponent to make sure they die..." [24:09]
Episode Flow & Takeaways
- Frequent bursts of laughter and riffing: The trio thrives on taking each other's ideas and running with them, often to absurd ends.
- Unexpected logic and improvisation: Many of the “survival” ideas make little sense but heighten the fun—e.g., lipstick for dying beautifully, sacrificing Lisa Simpson, or using fictional characters as literal life savers.
- Climactic game twist: The “Golf Rules” reversal at the end is classic Distractible, celebrating the podcast’s love for chaos, subversion, and letting luck have the final say.
For Newcomers
Don’t worry if you’re not familiar with the intricate in-jokes and recurring bits—the joy of this episode is in the unpredictable gameplay and the hosts’ relentless creativity. Every survival scenario will catch you off guard, and the friendly rivalry is infectious. Expect plenty of laughs and some surprisingly sharp wordplay.
Timestamps of Notable Segments
- 03:31–16:32 — Intro, life banter, Homelander/nature riff
- 16:32–19:24 — Game rules explanation
- 20:31–25:17 — Letter L scenario
- 25:49–30:31 — Letter B scenario
- 31:31–39:56 — Letter Q scenario
- 40:15–48:38 — Letter Z scenario
- 49:46–57:22 — Letter C scenario
- 57:39–62:32 — Endgame: the "Golf Rules" twist & winner declared
In the end:
Wade, not Bob, is crowned champion through sheer luck and the never-ending chaos that is Distractible, encapsulated perfectly in Mark’s closing words:
"But you know who's the winner? You at home listening and. Or watching. Both of you did equally good." [64:44]
A raucous, quotable, and highly replayable episode—recommended for fans of improv, creative word games, and competitive friendship.