Transcript

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This episode of Distractable is brought to you by the Dark Ages. ID Software presents the Dark Ages. A dark fantasy sci fi experience that brings epic combat and over the top visuals to the legendary Doom franchise. Dominate demon infested battlefields with devastating weapons. Soar on a Mecha dragon and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on Hell itself.

Summary

Distractible – Peekaboo! (May 26, 2025)

Hosts: Mark Fischbach ("Mark"), Wade Barnes ("Wade"), Bob Muyskens ("Bob")
Episode: Peekaboo!
Release Date: May 26, 2025

Overview

This episode delivers classic Distractible energy: the three friends trade stories about recent life mishaps, quirky personal updates, and compete through a raucous, never-quite-on-track game of deciphering old-timey slang. With plenty of tangents (Linux rants, missing cars, mysterious medical woes), Wade acts as host, guiding Mark and Bob through rounds of humorous guessing, banter, and self-deprecating revelations. Their competitive streak runs wild as they vie for the highest score—and hosting rights for the next episode—while the audience is treated to a mixture of absurd storytelling and quick-witted chaos.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Witness Protection, Parenting Dangers, and 3D Printers

[04:00–12:30]

Mark’s “Witness Protection” Bit: Mark jokes about constantly being on the move, as if hiding in witness protection but unable to stop incriminating himself:

"I just wake up every morning, go out on my porch, go, hello everybody. And people find me." – Mark [04:10]
Bob’s Update – The “Trustworthy Twos”: Bob shares his toddler James has hit a reckless phase:

"He just does stuff like that. He has started falling off of things now. ... He doesn't get scared." – Bob [06:05]
The group jokes he’s entering his “Mark era” of fearless destruction.
Mark’s 3D Printer Guilt: Mark sheepishly confesses anxiety over not making a video about the free Prusa 3D printers he received, despite them running at full productivity:

"I haven't promoted Prusa. ... They’re like chugging 24/7 now and I'm just like, oh, I got all this productivity for all these printers I got for free..." – Mark [07:45]
Dabbling with Houdini (3D Software) and Linux Frustrations:
Mark dives into trying out Houdini and being forced to use Linux, launching into a rant about Linux package chaos:

"If you install it for Houdini, you need to install all of these plugins...that list that I read you is for only some of those distributions..." – Mark [10:04]
Bob relates with a dilemma over switching browsers, feigning relatable tech angst.

2. The Saga of Wade’s Missing BMW

[14:10–16:32]

Lost at Sea? Wade recounts tracking his new car’s ocean crossing, getting spooked by Twitter rumors about BMWs lost in shipping disasters.
Logistical Limbo: Despite being so close to delivery, the tracking app regresses to previous steps, sparking existential dread:

"Where is it? Is it in the ocean? Is it in Germany, or is it here?" – Wade [15:38]
"That car. My guy, that car is gone." – Mark [15:43]
Lots of jokes about BMW shipping conspiracies and the car being deleted, both digitally and literally.

3. Game Talk: Wade’s “Blueprints” vs. Mark’s Puzzle Play

[16:46–19:04]

Mark’s Over-Analysis in 'Blueprints':
Mark details spending ages trying to solve a puzzle using Photoshop, ignoring in-game clues, earning Wade’s mockery:

"If he played the game for 10 more minutes rather than the 40 minutes he took in Photoshop, he might have just found the item..." – Wade [18:40]
AI Silliness: Mark describes using ChatGPT to solve the puzzle, then transitioning into a brief (but mocking) discussion about new AI capabilities in generating convincing—but uncanny—let’s play and lifestyle videos:

"I uploaded a picture.... And it was like, judging by this, could it be swan song? And I went, you [expletive]..." – Mark [19:04]

4. Wade's “Medical Anomalies” Strikes Again

[21:25–24:55]

Eye Emergency:
Wade narrates waking up in pain, with a mysteriously burned and blurry left eye. After an alarming doctor’s remark (“Well, that’s weird.”), diagnosis is inconclusive:

"It was very painful and very confusing to wake up half asleep and just be in excruciating pain like that out of nowhere." – Wade [24:53]
The crew jokes about subreddit doctors and WebMD paranoia.

5. The Main Event: Old-Timey Slang Deciphering Game

[26:45–55:10]

Wade hosts another round of “Guess That Slang,” pitching historical (and often absurd) words or phrases to Mark and Bob, who try to define them—sometimes seriously, often, not.

Highlights, Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

Happy Returns [29:10]
Actual definition: Vomiting
Mark, riffing:

"You go to get a refund on your happy ending because you’re dissatisfied..." – Mark [29:28]
Bob, escalating it:
"You finish up into the air. And then you get covered in happy returns." – Bob [30:12]
Lean Away [31:03]
Definition: Someone who's tipsy
Mark sings:

"Popularized by Lion King: 'A lean away, a lean away...'" – Mark [32:07]
Off the Cob [33:47]
Definition: Corny, overly sentimental
Bob and Mark become increasingly absurd, confusing “on” and “off” while riffing on corn and Nebraska.
Red Onion [37:00]
Definition: Dive bar
Bob:

"A red onion is a vegetable." – Bob [36:56]
Focus Your Audio [38:00]
Definition: Pay attention/listen carefully
Bob’s elaborate car-racing story is undercut by Wade:

"Just means listen carefully, man." – Wade [40:34]
Master John Goodfellow, Staff of Life, The Gentleman Usher [47:31]
All: Old slang for penis
Mark (deadpan):

"It was John Goodman's briefcase." – Mark [45:56]
The group runs wild coming up with absurd euphemisms, then learns the real answers.
Phoenix Nest, Mrs. Fub’s Parlor, The Netherlands, Mount Pleasant [50:19, 51:21]
All: Slang for vagina
Mark, guessingly accurate:

"The phoenix nest is a vagina because it's a source of rebirth." – Mark [50:19]

6. Keeping Score and Awarding Bonus Points

[53:13–55:10]

Wade tallies the often-nonsensical list of points awarded for “accomplishments” like “tech gibberish,” “peekaboo,” “egg of a claws,” and more.
Bonus point is assigned based on “cleanliness” (most recently showered):

"Cleanliness. Mark gets the point." – Wade [55:39]
The competition is tight, with Mark winning hosting rights for the next episode by a single point.

Notable Quotes & Moments

On Technical Overwhelm:

"If you install it for Houdini, you need to install all of these plugins...I'm halfway through the list. I'm less than halfway through the list." – Mark [11:05]
On Slang Game Absurdity:

"Somehow, both of you are Sean Connery today and I don't know how." – Wade [35:08]
On Penis Euphemisms:

"We gotta do an episode where we do nothing but come up with alternate names for penis." – Bob [48:03]
On Losing:

"Sometimes you’re not the best looking one ever." – Bob [56:27]
On Mark’s Victory:

"All my answers didn’t make any sense at all. ... How I won, I don’t know, but. Hey, hamuka matata Bob." – Mark [56:09]

Structure & Flow

Catching Up – Quickfire life updates, quirky family stories, behind-the-scenes angst.
Tech Tangents – Mark’s battles with Houdini and Linux, Bob’s browser loyalty.
Personal Mishaps – Wade’s car-limbo and eyeball emergency.
Slang Game – Main content, high-energy word guessing with points randomly assigned.
Scoring & End – Results, mini-arguments, and bonus point shenanigans.

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment / Topic | |------------|-----------------------------------------------| | 04:00–12:30| Life updates, “witness protection”, 3D printers, Houdini rant | | 14:10–16:32| Wade’s BMW missing at sea | | 16:46–19:04| Puzzles in “Blueprints” and AI talk | | 21:25–24:55| Wade’s mysterious eye emergency | | 26:45–55:10| Old-timey slang guessing game (main segment) | | 53:13–55:10| Score tally, bonus point, Mark wins | | 56:09 | Winner’s speech |

Tone & Language

Playfully abrasive: The trio’s mix of genuine support and relentless ribbing.
Tangential, quick-witted: Frequent derailments, sarcastic asides, and callbacks.
A mix of absurdity and relatable exasperation: Reflected in elaborate stories and competitive banter.

Conclusion

“Peekaboo!” is classic Distractible: a wild ride through the friends’ lives and minds, laced with sharp humor, strange trivia, and no small amount of friendly confusion. Through Linux headaches, lost BMWs, dangerous toddlers, and a barrage of phallic euphemisms, Wade’s near-inept scoring steers Mark to a questionable victory. If you missed the episode, just know that logic took a back seat—and everyone had a blast.

Listen for:

Mark’s Linux/3D printer meltdown [10:03–12:30]
Wade’s missing BMW drama [14:10–16:32]
Masterclass in penis euphemisms [47:31–48:09]
The competitive point-tally anxiety [53:13–55:10]
The recurring use of “peekaboo” as an all-purpose distraction

End of Summary