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This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Living in a big city like Cincinnati has challenges.
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Nah. So Big Man, Louisiana is big like Cincinnati. Thankfully, Vitamin Water's new zero sugar flavors like Rehydrate Pineapple Passion Fruit Squeezed Lemonade and XXX Acai Blueberry Pomegranate are packed with essential vitamins for when you're traveling across that big city.
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Copyright 2025 Glassau, Vitamin Water is a registered trademark of Glasso.
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This episode is brought to you by Degree Degree is for the hustlers who put in the sweat, which we know a thing or two about.
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This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit Snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.
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Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.
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Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.
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Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.
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This episode of Distractable is brought to you by the Dark Ages. ID Software presents the Dark Ages. A dark fantasy sci fi experience that brings epic combat and over the top visuals to the legendary Doom franchise. Dominate demon infested battlefields with devastating weapons. Soar on a Mecha dragon and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on Hell itself.
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The Dark Age is available now on Xbox Series X&S, PlayStation 5 and PC. Rated M for mature. Good evening gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Distractable. This episode, One Eyed Wade loses his beemer, goes blue with envy. He tosses terribly and flosses with the fellers Basement Bob's baby flops and flushes hard. He then sends seeds skyward and goes westside. Manacled Mark has ad guilt, gets wet With Houdini, refunds a handy and starts a sing along. From witness protection to snatch synonyms. Yes, it's time for Peekaboo. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I'm today's host, Wade. Because I finally won again, I say the word finally because I don't remember the last time I won. It could have been two in a row. I might have hosted and given myself the win. Can't remember, but I feel like it's been a while. Therefore, good job, me.
C
I don't know why, but I thought you were doing a bit. I thought you said that the way Colin Mochery says his news reporter names. You were like, I'm your host, Wade, because I won again.
A
I'm. Wait a second and I'll tell you.
C
Wade, that's the wrong hole.
A
Lars. Lars. Pants on fars. I think that was one of them, right?
C
Anyway, sorry, my mind just exploded because I thought you did it and I was like, I don't understand.
A
You're good. I was about to give you permission to talk anyway, so it's fine that you did.
C
Hi, it's Bob. Hi.
B
Do I have permission to talk?
A
Well, this is a show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points. Whoever has the most gets to host the next episode. Hence why I'm here right now. And these two will be competing today. But as always, we usually start by catching up. And we actually haven't gotten to talk to the three of us in a while. So how's life? What's new, Mark? You're once again hiding in witness protection somewhere, it looks like.
B
Yeah, they keep moving me because people keep finding me. I don't know how they keep doing it. I just wake up every morning, go out of my porch, go, hello everybody. And people find me.
C
Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier and welcome back to my house. Can't imagine why they keep fighting. Kidding me. I am just surprised they haven't kicked you out yet. They must really love you down there at the witness protection.
B
Yeah, they must. They must. Don't know what crime I'm gonna confess about.
A
But usually you're pre protected from ratting out someone else that committed a crime. It's not always yours.
B
Oh, I kept telling about my crimes.
A
It says a lot though, that you think you have a crime. Why would they be protecting you?
C
I don't know.
B
I was just, I, I. Hey, I just, I just talk, man.
A
Mark's gonna rat himself out we gotta protect him.
C
The guy was like, I thought he was gonna tell us what somebody else said. He keeps confessing. Let's keep him in protection. See, he admits to. He won't stop confessing.
B
I'm in the desert.
C
Peekaboo.
A
I don't know. I forgot that classic desert strategy of peekaboo. Keeps you cool in the desert. I just rubbed my face. I say, just say peekaboo.
B
I was like, why? All right.
A
Peekaboo. Well, it's very important to cover yourself up from the sun in the desert. Peekaboo is a classic. It loses track of you real quick.
B
The sun's just that Mario version of the sun angrily coming after you the whole time. But peekaboo stops his trash.
A
What's new, Bob?
C
Specifically, I'm in my basement. I thought we were doing location based exclamations. I didn't. I didn't want to. Sorry. You know, stuff. Stuff is good. James has entered a new era, which I have not named yet, but I'm going to just say that it's very destructive and it's mainly of his own self. He's entering a mark era, really. Let's call it that.
A
Okay.
B
All right.
C
I sort of hoped eventually he'd gain, like, a fear of getting hurt because he's not afraid of anything. He'll just, like, climb up on the back of the couch and, you know, like, he could fall and break his neck and all. He just does stuff like that. And he has started falling off of things now. He started falling down. He fell off the back steps on the patio because he just wasn't looking and ran off the steps. He keeps doing that, but he doesn't act like he gets hurt. Like, he falls. He. The other. He fell onto his face. He missed this last step. Fell onto his face off the back deck onto a concrete patio. And we were like, oh. And he just stood up and was.
A
Like, I thought kids cried a lot.
C
He does cry when he gets. When he, like, hurts himself sometimes, but when he really eats it. Nothing. He doesn't get scared. He doesn't. He's just like, oh, that was cool. And then just continues. It's like he's just going to keep doing crazier and crazier shit. He's not learning to be afraid for his safety at all.
A
Like the next evil Knievel.
C
I don't know. It seems bad. But also he's like, he's fine. Like, he's getting scraped up, but otherwise he's fine. I'm going to trust him. It's two and a half now. Pretty trustworthy guy.
A
So they call the trustworthy twos.
B
I feel an overwhelming guilt building up inside me for every day that I have not done a video about all the Prusa 3D printers that they have sent me. I.
C
Well, you could keep talking about them.
B
I could, I could, but I don't think it qualifies. I. I think about it, I'm on. I'm on vacation right now. So I'm just like, I'm out trying to relax, and then I wake up in the middle, like, I haven't promoted Prusa.
A
Are your printers, like talking in your dreams? Like, Mark, you forgot about us.
B
Mark being used. That's why it feels bad. It's like they're. They're like chugging 247 now. And I'm just like, oh, I got all this productivity for all these printers I got for free that they sent in right before the tariffs hit. Send them in chess. It's like under the door of the terrorist.
A
Yeah.
B
Anyway, I can make. I can make oceans go poosh in Houdini.
A
Now. Peekaboo.
C
Is that like a physics sim stuff? Is that. What is that you're doing?
B
Have I not talked about Houdini? I mean, I might have mentioned it tangentially with the render farm. Like the whole idea. Idea was for Houdini, but now I'm actually in Houdini, which is by side effects, is the company that makes it. But Houdini is a software. Okay, so it's everyone. If you ask anyone who's Houdini, they'll tell you it's procedural. You'll have no idea what that means, but they'll keep saying it as if it explains everything.
C
You know, what do you think it's procedural means like it does it. There's a procedure.
A
You have to do things in a particular order to proceed.
C
It starts at number one on the list and proceeds from there. Procedurally.
A
You open, you edit, you save. Procedure.
B
There you go. That's probably it. No, it just means you have to build everything you want to build out of the fucking LEGO bricks that they give you. And it'll. You can modify it as you go. I don't know, it's nuts, but they have little pre made things like ocean and wave tank. And I can make it go with my. All my computers.
C
Nice.
A
I don't know why I'm just imagining. You have this intricate setup. You launch the computer, you enter this crazy password, and then you're just like dropping a stick figure into the water. Watch it go splash. And you're like, yes, that is exactly that. There was an extremely intricate, robust networking.
B
System and power distribution for all these computers. And I load it up and I.
C
Go, let's have it go.
B
And it goes foosh.
A
And I go, eight guys wearing sunglasses, having earpieces in with like guns. You have to like, scan your badge. You get to the room. It's just.
C
Yes.
B
You don't know how right you are, Wade. You don't know how correct you are in this moment.
A
I'm happy for you, I think.
B
But I've had to embrace Linux. I don't want to.
C
Doesn't sound fun.
B
It's so stupid for Houdini on Linux. Like, I don't know why this is. Wait, if I go to Houdini Linux requirements. Yes, I'm shitting on Linux again. It has some great things, but also like, holy. If you go to any program game has like system requirements, right? And so sure, if you go to side effects for the software, it's like, you know, Windows, it runs on Windows 11 10, 8.1 server is not supported, you know, oh, 8.1 server not support Mac OS. You know, just this version Linux, it runs on Ubuntu, Debian, rel, Fedora, CentOS, Mint, POP 2004, Rocky, Alma, older distros. Like, it's just. And then that's not even the main thing. It's. There's a sub page where if you install it for Houdini, you need to install all of these plugins that couldn't possibly be bundled with it for Linux reasons. You need liba sound, lib, c6 lib, dubus, lib event core, lib x pack, lib font, libgl, glxo, ice, nspr, nss, opengl, pcism, x11, x11, xb, cb, xcb cursor, xcb, dri3, xgb, icbm, xgb image, xgb keys that. I'm halfway through the list. I'm less than halfway through the list. That's how many you have to install yourself to get it working on Linux. You have to.
C
Sounds pretty much like Linux. But those are all just like command lines, right? Plus, can't you like. Can't you just like download those all into one directory and then be like, look at this folder. Install all of that shit?
B
No, I don't know. Maybe just. I don't know.
C
Why.
B
Why wouldn't it be packaged with the Linux installer if it needed these things? Why doesn't it come with it?
C
It's actually a different Thing that you could install first, but you have to install the main software. And then there's about 30 plugins that you install for that. But then once you have that, then you can install other software with all the plugins all included.
B
Man, I bet. Actually, there probably is one of those. But the worst thing is that list that I read you is for only some of those distributions of Linux. That's for Debian, Ubuntu, Mint and Popular. For Rel, Rocky and Fedora. There's a completely different list, smaller but, you know, different.
A
I followed all of that. Rocky.
C
I'm not following it either.
B
I'm not saying I know this stuff.
A
It's.
B
Linux is silly. We're on the same boat here.
A
I think we used to have neighbors named Rocky and Elma.
C
It sounds like Meme Coins. Oh, it's, It's Gluf and Mimfed and Gorpy and. And purple.
B
Yep, that is. That is pretty much it.
C
Well, you. Did you use Linux back when we were, when we met in college. You, you, you were familiar with Linux, right?
B
If I said I was, I lied. I must have been like, I am lying to you.
C
Well, my, my buddies, a lot of my buddies went into like, software engineering stuff, so I. Ubuntu was what I had on my other partition on the laptop that I used when we lived together. My laptop that I got for college was half Windows 7, half original Ubuntu distribution way back. So that, that goes back. And that was not new. When I was using it then I don't think either. That's like, damn.
A
Not to brag, but I once had to launch a Windows computer in DOS mode to play a game.
C
Damn.
A
I know. That's pretty similar to what you guys are talking about, right?
C
Basically. You know, it's funny, I know Wade's doing this as a joke. All of that you were going through, Mark, and in the back of my mind I was like, I have been considering switching my web browser lately. That's going to be tough. I feel what Mark's feeling.
B
That's going to be tough.
C
Look, listen, I'm, I'm dug in, okay? I've been using. I've been using Chrome since it came out, and I know that it's awful and if I didn't have such ridiculously overpowered computers, I would never get away with this. But I'm so afraid to change. It's going to be so hard and there's probably Linux involved or something. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about, Mark.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah.
A
At least add some pain. You guys remember that whole car thing we talked about, right? Like, getting a car?
C
Wade's car is parked in his driveway. Let's go. Let's. You got a picture of it?
A
Oh, very soon, very soon. My car, a few weeks ago, hit the port in Germany, and then it was in transit across the ocean. I got this weird tweet. Someone sent me a tweet. They're like, wade, bad news about your car. And I was like, who the hell are you? What are you talking about? And it showed a picture of, like, a bunch of cargo containers washing up on a beach where apparently there was a boat accident and BMW and all their containers got lost at sea. And I was like, oh, no. I looked it up. I was like, oh, thank God. This looks like it was from 2023 or something. Not me. Not me.
C
And so you got your car last week?
A
Molly and I were out of town. I was keeping track. I was, like, still in transit. Still in transit. This didn't take two to four weeks to get across the ocean. That's fine. Whatever. And then two days ago, I looked, and it was like, okay, I was on step, like, 14 of 16 for delivery. I looked. It was like, step 13 at port. Wait a minute. We were. We've been in transit for, like, a week. What do you mean, at port? How do we. We're not back in Germany, right? Like this, in a different car. Like, they're at this port. They're at the port in the U.S. right? Like, they hit this port. It went backwards in the step. Tell me that it's actually here, and soon I'll have a car. It's still at port with no updates. And my car actually got deleted at one point from the app, and I had to go re. Add it. I have some concern.
B
My guy.
A
Where is it? Is it in the ocean? Is it in Germany, or is it here?
B
That car. My guy, that car is gone. That car is gone.
A
Where is it?
C
If there's a person in the exact right position at BMW or at, like, the shipping line or whatever, who is it? Who listens to this and heard you talking about it and was like, let's just fuck with him. Let's just send his car everywhere. How far can we get Wade to travel to pick up his car? Oh, turns out you got to go to Baltimore if you want your car. It's definitely in the port there. Maybe.
B
Hey, Wade, let me explain it to you in words, in a way you can understand. Editors, like help Me out with this one. Pretend my head is your car. Editors, now delete my head.
A
Peekaboo.
B
That's your car.
C
Well, I think. I think the tweet was right. Wade's car's in the ocean. Editors, put Mark's head in the ocean. Look at all the. Guam.
A
Put me in Guam. I just. I don't know where it is. I have one more. Well, I've got two more things. I might save one of them. I got one more thing at least I want to mention right now. Martin?
B
Yeah.
A
I've been hyping up a game for a while here. And you finally played it. Blueprints. I watched you play it, and I gotta say two things. One, I'm impressed. Two, God, I hate you.
C
I feel. I feel that. Tell you what.
A
So Blueprints is a puzzle game, right? You figure out different ways to unlock information to move, and there's different clues that lead you down different rabbit holes and things Mark came across, like the first puzzle. And instead of looking for a solution, how long did you spend in Photoshop trying to figure out spoiler alert, swan song?
B
Look, man, I don't know, because the thing is, I had it right in front of me. It was so clear, because what it was was, like, I didn't know what this was, but I knew the last one was song, right? So it was like this, and no one listening. It's like it was an S. I knew it started with an S, and I knew song was at the end. And that was like, three lines here. I'm like, no letter has three up lines.
A
That's incredible.
B
What letter is that? It must be some other letter. W. Oh. Anyway, so, yeah, no, I. I feel. I feel dumb. There was so much more cut out of that than you saw. I spent a good hour and a.
A
Half trying to figure it out. Let me tell you. Spoilers incoming. There's literally an item you find in the game that, when you look at that note, reveals the password. You don't have to do that.
B
It seemed like I should be able to solve it. And, you know, the answer was more obvious that I.
A
Look, man, look. I just. I was like, he's never going to make another episode because if this is how he tackles puzzles in the game, he's like. Like something I can't quite see. What if I get the Hubble Telescope? Can I rent that for a week? And I just hold that, aim it at my monitor? I can read this microscopic text.
B
Hey, look, man, I got it. I don't know what you're Complaining about I solved the puzzle.
A
I was, I was reading some of the comments. Everyone's like, wow, can't Mark's dedication to figuring that out. I was like if he played the game for 10 more minutes rather than the 40 minutes he took in Photoshop, he might have just found the item that shows that I don't know what.
B
I actually didn't watch it back so I don't know how the edit shook up, but it's funny. That's chat GPT. I uploaded a picture of that scribble.
A
Gave it all the discoveries I made so far.
B
And I was like what in the do you think this is? And I said to myself there's no way it works. And and I said I think the last one song starts with an S. And it was like judging by this, could it be swan song? And I went, you I'm gonna the AI should burn because of this I moment. Oh, did you see this? Not to keep harping on AI because I know some people don't don't like us talking about but it's kind of a thing. We're making fun of it most of the time. The new video, one that everyone's really, really jazzed up about.
C
Vo, Vo, whatever. Yeah.
B
And it puts out, you know, video that still is very clearly AI nonsense but it, it looks prettier which I guess is is the good of it or something like that. But here's the thing. If you tell it to make a fortnight let's play it not only will put the person in the corner, it has almost perfect fortnite gameplay occurring in the video.
C
And it makes me go like I.
B
Wonder where Google got all of their training videos. I wonder where Google owner of YouTube got all of their training videos.
C
Hmm. What happens if you, if you tell it to do create a makeup tutorial. Like this is my daily skin routine to get ready with me video.
A
Turn around with 10 fingers on one hand and like three noses. Like ah, perfect.
C
Well I was gonna say I love I, I, I get, I appreciate that whoever put together their like sample stuff had a sense of humor because one of the, one of the clips that was really popular going around was like a stand up comic telling a joke and the joke I don't remember, it was like very unfunny which is fine. But then there was another one of a guy, it was like chest up shot of a guy just sitting there and he's just, it cuts to him like he's mid thought and he just says and that's the day That I realized I would be able to count way higher than any other person. And then he holds his hands up and he has like eight fingers per head. And like, like. Very funny. Very funny. Nailed it. 10 out of 10.
A
I had another weird medical wake up. You guys remember the Uvula Chronicles, right? So Molly and I were traveling. We got back late in the evening, I think, like Monday or whatever it was. I was up late. I think I decided to record more blueprints or whatever have you. So I went to bed late, got about two and a half hours of sleep, and then I woke up. All the animals were like, we need to now. I was like, all right, well, I guess I'll take the animals out. And I went to sit up. I was like, ooh, ah, ah. My left eye was burning. Like I had just poured hot sauce into it, like, burning like crazy. I couldn't really open it. I finally did. I couldn't see out of it. I was like, almost Amsler greeting myself, trying to see, like, different points of vision. Did I lose part of my vision? What happened to me? Did the cat scratch my eye? In my sleep. I was freaking out. So I'm trying to take the animals out. I'm trying to, like, look at my phone to call an eye doctor because they had just opened at this point, like eight in the morning. Get the animals outside. I call, and I'm like, something's wrong with my eye. I don't know. I woke up, I can't open my eye. Blurry. It's pouring out water, burning like crazy. And I went in, and the doctor got like, this yellow dye, put a drop in each eye, put me under the apple applanation lamp, which is like where you put your chin in your forehead. Little did little blue light pressure test and stuff. And the one thing I think you never want to hear a doctor say is what my doctor decided to say. Which was. Which was, well, that's weird. Anytime your doctor finds something weird or unusual they haven't seen before, that's. You don't want that. So, of course, immediately I was like, oh, no. What's weird? And he's like, well, it looks like you just have a dry spot.
C
And I was like, okay, that doesn't sound that weird.
A
Maybe my eyelid got pried open or something. He's like, but it's in a spot that shouldn't have just dried out, like the middle of my cornea. This, like diamond shaped dry spot where just for whatever reason, there was no moisture in the middle of my cornea. And my pupil and stuff. And he's like, well, if your eyelid had been pried open partially while sleeping, you'd expect to see it dry in this region. Like he drew it out and like on his eye picture. And he's like, if this was like he was showing different things. He's like, for it to be this pattern right here, but moisturized everywhere else is bizarre. And I was like, great, what do we do about that? I'm glad to be a guinea pig here, but help me, please help me. In pain. Scared. Help. He just gave me a moisturizing drop and was like, I guess we'll try this. We'll keep in touch. Come back and not tomorrow, but day after and I'll do a recheck and see how things are going. Thankfully long. And then skipping ahead, my eye. I use the drops, my eyes better, but no explanation as to how a random spot of my eye just like shriveled up and dried and died in the middle of my sleep.
B
Well, I think that all the people in the subreddit will diagnose you. All professionals and some up and coming professionals. So. Yeah, no, that's weird.
C
Actually, WebMD did thinks you have eye cancer.
A
Hopefully not. My eye pressures were good, so I was using like a steroid drop on this eye, which can raise eye pressure a little bit. So this eye pressure was up to like 23.
C
23.
A
If you 30s, 40s, you start to worry. 23 is not.
C
You don't have to tell me.
A
It's like high normal. I worked with eyes for a while, okay, maybe a decade ago, but like this eye was 23, this eye was 21. It was a little elevated from the steroid drop, nothing crazy. Vision seems normal. I couldn't wear contacts for a few days just because the doctor was worried, so I was wearing glasses. Today's the first time back in contacts. I don't know, it was just. It was very painful and very confusing to wake up half asleep and just be an excruciating pain like that out of nowhere. Anyway, Wade's Medical Anomalies take two. Someone's gonna be like, well, uvula and the eye combined. What it actually means is your spleen is failing. Let me know. I guess.
C
This episode is brought to you by McAfee. We all spend a lot of time online, obviously.
B
Yeah, we basically don't leave the intern Internet ever.
A
Gaming, shopping, working, living, breathing. Oh, well, whatever you do online, you.
B
Can keep it safe with McAfee, that's award winning protections with secure VPN scam. Detector antivirus, comprehensive identity theft protection and more.
A
Plans start at just $39.99 for your first year. Find out more at McAfee.com distractible cancel anytime terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Mentos Gum. Keep things fresh. It's important, right? And I'm not just talking about fresh breath. It's important to switch up your routine whenever you can. I just. I'm the person who can't help but chew. You put a mint in your mouth, you're supposed to suck on it. I'm like, swallow. So I kind of need gum.
C
You turn into a cartoon dog. I'm sorry. Next time we hang out, I'm giving you a mint just to see what happens.
A
And of course, another way to refresh every day is with Mentos gum, available in a range of fresh flavors like spearmint, fresh mint and strawberry. Mentos gum. Yes to fresh. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime.
C
You know what I got off of Amazon that is actually a crucial component of this show? My coin that I can never remember which side is heads and which side is tails.
B
Well, it's not just about products. Sometimes it's about shows. And Amazon prime also comes with Prime Video.
A
Whatever it is, prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into. Head to Amazon.com prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes. Good small talk, boys. Good small talk. I have a bit of time for an actual episode, so let's jump in. You guys. Remember, we've done a couple of episodes in the past where I had some old timey phrases and I would read you the phrase, you guys tell me what it meant.
B
All right, we're doing more of that.
C
Don't oversell it.
A
There's a. There's a couple of reasons why. One, I really enjoy it. Two, we still have a lot left in this mental floss article. Three, I like mental floss. I don't know much about them as a webpage, but I just like the word mental floss. I like the compound word that it is because I think of, like, all the crevices in your brain being flossed. And I enjoy. Sorry, Bob. Aphantasia. Biased against, I guess. But I enjoy the mental image I get of a brain being flossed.
C
I would too, if I had one. This is where I'd put my mental image of a brain being flossed if I had one.
A
We've done 44 of these. I was looking through my notes, we've done quite a few of them, and there's still a lot left. Oh, let me find my coin. I don't remember who went where last, so I'm gonna flip a coin to see which one of you goes first. Bob your heads. Mark your tails. All right, let's get a good flip.
C
What are you. Why are you doing it like that? You do.
A
Why do you throw it?
C
You throw it. You need to. You need to rel. More on your. You're, like, throwing it off your hand.
B
It's all thumb bow.
A
That was a very sharp pencil. You're right, Mark, you've convinced me. You have convinced me that that's the proper way.
C
Like, it's just. It was an example. Obviously, that wasn't a coin.
A
So it is tails, which means, Mark, you go first here, which won't really.
C
Matter, but you could have just held that up and decided it was tails. I was now watching.
A
Well, that's not my fault. That's your fault, because I did do it.
C
Damn you. Sorry.
B
No wonder it looked weird. Studio light was on. Sorry. What's going on? Hey, what's up, pal?
A
I'm just watching you flicker.
B
Watch this.
A
Whoa.
C
Really takes a second on that one.
B
There we go.
A
Editors are going to love this.
B
I know, I know. What's wrong with what? The editor is going to be jealous or something. They're.
A
Jack, edit out the fireworks.
C
Editors, remove the fireworks from Mark's video. We can't have those. We can't have those. Take those out. Make it just regular.
B
So that was the apple fire. Here's the editor's fireworks.
C
Sorry. Let's get back to what matters here.
A
Mark, what are happy returns?
C
All right, so I'll tell you in a second. I have a. Great.
B
So you got happy endings, right?
A
Yes.
B
So, happy endings. But wait, which happy ending are you thinking of?
C
The sex one.
B
The happy returns is where you go to get a refund on your happy.
A
Ending because you're just satisfied and you.
C
Have to have opposite sex to give it back.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They gotta put it back.
B
Oh.
C
I feel like I have to say this might need to get cut out or bleeped out, but maybe not. I just. This is immediately what I imagined because. And that's why I lost it. Happy returns. Okay, You're a guy, you're laying down on your back, and you're alone, and you're feeling horny, so you're jorking it, and you finish up into the air. And then you get covered in happy returns.
A
What Goes up. Must come down.
C
Obviously.
B
Well, Wade, which one do you prefer?
A
Returning your happy ending. Raining jizz. Unfortunately, neither one of those are the happy returns. Happy returns, despite the name, is actually just vomiting.
C
That doesn't make any sense at all.
B
That is silly.
C
That implies that the vomiting is good.
A
Yeah, really? Just vomiting. That's. That's kind of. It's kind of. It. I don't have. I don't have a. Where it originated or anything like that. Just.
C
Mine was closer.
B
How?
C
Stuff coming out of body.
B
Oh, you're right. I had stuff going into body. I'm so stupid. God damn it.
A
I mean, if you guys agree, I'll give him the happy returns point.
B
Well, mine was not so happy, so maybe I had the irony about it, but on a fundamental level, I think he still got it.
C
That's true. And vomiting and happy returns in Mark's world kind of match vibes a little better, I guess, but depends how you judge it.
A
Bob, what is a lean away?
C
The word is lean away.
A
Like the word lean and the word away combine into one compound word.
C
It's actually a practice that's been outlawed modernly. There's a similar thing that you could still do. It's called layaway, which is where you pick out a product at a store and then they, like, set it aside for you and you make payments. And when you pay it off, then you can take it home and you own the product. A lot of, like, furniture and stuff like that. Lean away was actually where instead of you picking the product and then leaving the store, you had to pick the product and then work in the store and live there without leaving until you paid off the debt. And then you were allowed to take the Whatever, the furniture, whatever it was home with you. You didn't actually get to go home and lay down, but you could lean occasionally during your 24 hour, seven days a week work shifts at whatever. Whatever store was selling you the thing.
A
Mark, what do you think a lean away is?
B
Oh, well, it's from. Popularized by Lion King Alina Way. A lean away A lean away A.
A
Lean away in the jungle, the mighty jungle. I love that. Instead of telling me what it means, you just put it in another sentence.
B
What do I need to say?
A
I don't need to say anymore. That's it.
C
That whole movie is like that. What is huna Huna mat. Oh.
A
Mada.
C
What does huda makuda mean? Nobody knows. It doesn't mean anything.
A
What does hik if we can't even say hakuna matata? I'M not sure we're going to figure out some of these words. Puna mata.
C
What is hookadoo, Hookah.
A
Puna, makata. Lean away is just someone who's tipsy.
C
Man, I gotta start thinking about more boring stuff. That one at least I buy. Like, sure.
A
I gotta get. I think I gotta give Mark the point for this one. Bob, I loved your creativity, but I felt more drunk listening to the huna makata talk.
C
That you contributed was my words.
A
I know, but it was contributing to Mark's idea of the song.
B
Look, I'm already ahead. I'm not gonna say anything.
C
Well, I guess it doesn't mean no worries, does it? It some worries, bruh. Some worries.
A
Some worries for huna makata.
B
It means some worries for the rest of your days. It means anxiety, sobriety.
C
I don't know. It's different every time. Who cares?
A
Mark, what does it mean to be off the cob?
B
Wait, we know we did this one. Wait, this is familiar.
A
On the cobbler, I do feel like we did something similar.
B
But this isn't a 20 easy question situation again where we're getting the exact.
C
Same words, is it?
A
No promises.
B
Oh, boy. All right, so on the cob, off the cob. Which one is it, man?
A
The one I've said every time.
C
Wade has said the same one every time.
B
Can we decide which one is on or off the cob?
A
Are you two okay to take?
C
Is it on the cob or on the cob? Which one is it? Wayne, you keep saying different things.
A
Things O f f off the cob.
B
All right. Off the cob.
A
Good job. I should give you a point just for repeating what I said.
C
No, Mark, you. Yeah, you said it. You're saying it wrong. So it must be on the cob.
B
Must be on the cob. If I was wrong before, because you.
C
Said off the cob.
B
Okay, so it's on the cob.
A
Yeah.
C
Wait, we're staying on the cub.
B
So when you eat corn and it's still whole, you eat it on the cob. It means to eat something whole, Bob.
A
What does off the cob? Me. I feel like this is a fucking Saturday Night Live celebrity Jeopardy. Bullshit.
C
All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna play for points this time.
A
Somehow, both of you are Sean Connery.
C
Today, and I don't know how I'll be Connery. You'd be Sean. I'm playing for points off the cob. It's actually a saying comes out of Nebraska. Specific. There's a lot of corn in Nebraska. Their. Their College mascot is the Corn Huskers. That's how corn focused they are. And so it's just in slang in Nebraska for if you've been eating too much corn lately and you're trying to cut back and when someone offers you, as they do every day everywhere in Nebraska, a corn on the cob, you say, no, no, I'm on the cob. Off the cob. That was not on purpose. No.
A
I was writing down the point for you, Bob. I was like, you know, he participated.
B
Are you sure it wasn't on the cobweight? Are you sure? Are you sure?
C
I don't know. I don't know anymore. I can't tell anymore, man. We did the bit too much. I don't know which one's the one.
A
Slang meaning corny. It just means corny.
B
On the cob means corny.
C
I don't like that one very much. That's not very.
B
You're real on the cob, man. It's like on the nose. You're too on the nose.
A
No, it's not on the. It's off the cob.
B
I love slang, Bob.
A
What is a red onion? Can't wait for this. The color is red.
C
All right. A green onion.
A
I don't give a fuck what you prefer to.
C
Dude, I'm not sure if it's more specific than this or what, but I'm gonna. I'm gonna keep it kind of vague and just hope that I'm in the right ballpark. Red onion is a vegetable.
A
Yes.
B
Fair. I think. Yeah.
A
I can't disagree with your assessment.
C
That has to be right. That has to be. That's a reasonable guess.
B
I have a guess. I have a guess, though.
A
It's a slang phrase for something.
C
A slang phrase for a green onion that's not green enough.
B
I know what it is. It's slang for a beetle because, you know, some people, they didn't know what beets were. They pulled out of the ground. It looks a lot like an onion. They bite into it like this. Red onion's weird.
A
Oddly enough, Mark, you're closer than I'd like you to be with this interpretation.
B
That's what I'm thinking. That's what I'm thinking. That's what I'm saying.
A
Seeing something and thinking it should be different or perhaps better. A red onion is a dive bar.
B
How am I closer? How?
A
How am I.
B
How?
C
I don't think they have a lot of vegetables at dive.
A
I think it's called a red onion because you go there and it ends up Being a dive bar. I don't know. Again, I don't get a lot of descriptions for this. Mark, I think you're first this time. There is. You have got this. You are. This is this. This one was built for you. What is meant by the slang phrase focus your audio?
B
Can you give me the definition?
A
No.
C
Can you. Can you use it in a sentence?
B
Yeah, use it in a sentence.
A
Focus your audio.
B
All right, that. That's telling.
A
That's telling.
B
That's selling. That's. That clued me in. Does it mean. Couldn't be that simple. You're too wise and special for that. You're too sly, you sly dog. No, I'm literally stalling because I've forgotten what it was. What did you say?
A
Off the cob or. Focus. Focus your. God damn it. Focus your audio.
B
Focus your audio. Yeah, that's right. You sly dog, you. Apparently, the phrase sly dog makes me for. Because it's like it empties my mind of whatever's there.
A
Focus your audio.
B
Focus your audio. Right.
C
Give him your answer. You sly dog, you.
B
It means to.
A
Love.
B
Love means no worries for the rest of the philosophy. All right, final answer in.
A
I don't know what you said, but, yeah, I agree. Bob, let's focus your audio be.
C
This is actually from the 60s. Oh, maybe it's more like the 80s.
A
I don't know.
C
It's from Group B rally car racing. The radio transmissions between driver and navigator were pretty hard to understand. Kind of just shouting at each other. And the Audi team would often get into arguments or sort of get off track because they were, like, yelling at each other back and forth. So the navigator, to shut it down and to get everyone back on track to make sure that they're, you know, still trying to win the race, would just shout at his driver, like, that's enough. Focus your audio. Because they drive an Audi.
B
I get it, I get it, I get it.
C
And he was just. It's exasperated. The yo is how, you know it's serious. I get not laugh at that. Wade, I can hear you saying that.
A
It's good. No, it's good. But I thought you had it because your description was going in the right direction. It's like, oh, my God, he's gonna get this. And then the pun came, and I was like. Like, I felt what you guys feel. When I talk, a part of my soul died.
C
It's fun, right?
A
It is for everyone else, focus your audio. Just means listen carefully, man.
C
That's just not funny.
B
Yeah, that's not right.
A
The whole Point of this is you guys are funny which is why I enjoy this it hurts me but also it's very enjoyable Bob, what does it mean to be claws sharp?
C
Well clearly that's a compliment and what what it derives from is there was a period in time when everyone thought that Santa Claus was just the sharpest dressed man they could imagine and as a compliment to each other people would just like you show up at the whatever at the bar or whatever you're like oh hey lookin pretty Claws sharp.
A
Tonight Mark Claws sharp as we all.
B
Know the musical scale goes clause it means this sharp note at the end.
A
Did you cut out or did you say the music scale is Agaba claws.
B
Everyone knows agable claws and face of course Agaba claws and face I thought.
A
It was Dory Agaba claws yeah sorry.
B
Yeah Doremi Fossilotti claws everyone knows it's the sharp note Egg of a cloth.
A
Everyone that was the music notes Egg.
B
Of a claw.
A
I'm not crazy, that's.
B
What Egg of a dolphin face everyone.
A
Knows egg of a claws you fucking idiots.
B
Anyway, give me my point I'm so right.
A
Claws sharp describes someone who's well informed on a variety of topics I'll give you all something I don't know if.
C
It'S point I'll take anything at this.
A
Point I don't even Mark, what is having the bright disease?
B
Having the bright disease?
A
Yeah, someone could have bright disease what does that mean?
B
I mean is that like radiation poisoning? Like you got the bad light in.
C
You.
A
What'S the matter with me? You got that bad light in you.
B
You got the bad light it could.
A
Be this, this one is. This is a tough one I will say I don't know that I want you gonna get it so I'm interested to see what you come up with but Bob, what's the bright disease?
C
This is a derogatory name that was used to insult people of high intelligence A room full of people and there's one person who thinks they're a smarty pants and they like someone said something and the smart person is like actually and in the background the guy would be like nah, I don't mind them.
A
He'S got the bright disease the bright disease describes someone who knows too much particularly the kind of information that could lead someone to ratting someone else out at least in the mafia having the bright disease often meant you needed to.
B
Go ah I see, yeah he's too smart for his own ah, he's got.
A
That bright disease I get you it.
B
Makes sense sense It Does I feel.
C
Like one of us was real close to that.
A
Yeah. Which one?
C
If it's not self evident, you might not have as much of the bright disease as I thought you did.
A
Ah, radiation. I think you're right. Radiation was real close. Okay, so I've got a few here for you, Bob. This is one of those where I give you multiple. I could just do this one at a time, but I'm just gonna get through this one. Bob. What is a blobber? A cabbage hat. A pigeon. A viper. A telegram.
C
Yeah, no, those are of course the names of the five top fighters for the jets gang in west side Story.
A
Blobber, cabbage, hat, pigeon, Viper, Telegram.
C
Because your girl's gonna get a telegram about how much trouble you're in after you fight them.
A
Actually, the book that the author wrote competing with Holes. One had X ray, the other one had telegram.
C
Yeah, it's definitely a West side Story thing.
A
Mark.
B
The Five Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
A
O pigeon. Oh, pigeon.
C
And so saith the Lord, there shall appear the five horsemen of the Apocalypse. Blobber, cabbage, hat, pigeon, Telegram. And Viper. My favorite non canon Bible book is the book of Viper. It's got some great stories in there.
A
That one came out on a Sunday. God was taking it off, had a little bit of whiskey, came up with cabbage head.
C
Like what, I gotta name everything? You try naming everything in existence.
A
These are all terms for someone who is a rat.
C
Where's all my cheese?
A
Who goes first this time? Who went first last time? Mark, you're up. Now, Mark, what is a Master John Goodfellow?
B
A Master John Goodfellow?
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. In the movie Goodfellas, when Samuel L. Jackson had that briefcase and it was all glowy inside.
C
Yeah, Yep.
A
Okay, go on, go on. Sorry.
B
They called that the M. John Goodman.
A
What was it? Goodfellow. John Goodman's.
B
It was John Goodman's briefcase.
C
No, I remember that. I remember that when. When John Cusack opened it on the counter in the apartment.
B
And the one guy goes like, do I? Am I funny to you? Do I look funny? I remember that.
A
It reminds me in the Godfather whenever Michael says, father, I want to be a real boy.
B
I love it in Godfather 2 when he turns to the other guy goes, onions of layers. Oh, just cinema, you know.
A
They were in a Red Onion at the time. Bob, what is Master John Goodfellow?
C
Mark is so close on this one. Mark is so close on this one. It is pop. It's related to pop culture. The musical Hamilton was. Has been very popular. And then they made. They did the movie, the like Broadway recording of the movie thing. And everyone's watching it. And a piece of lore that actually came out from that was popularized by, that is that was actually Alexander, Alexander Hamilton's name for his penis. And there were some cut lines from the musical where he talks about how he introduced A Fair lady to his master, John Goodman. Good. Wait, what was it?
A
Master John Goodfellow.
B
We are so close.
A
So close.
C
Mark, you're just so convincing. I just immediately. Whatever your reality is, I'm there.
A
Bob. As a follow up to that, what is the Staff of Life?
C
Just another name for Alexander Hamilton's penis Park.
A
The Staff of Life.
B
Same, but general penis.
A
I think we're going down the right track here, Bob. You're right. Master John Goodfellow is another name for male anatomy.
C
All right.
A
As is the Gentleman Usher, the Staff of Life, the Cyprian Scepter and the Maypole. All of these are penis.
C
It had to be right. Eventually we gotta do an episode where.
B
We do nothing but come up with alternate names for penis.
A
I think we've done that.
C
If we could come up with a single one that was completely novel, I think it would be a success.
B
This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu. Futurama returns on September 15th.
C
I love this show. It's a great show. I'm excited for another season.
B
Anyway, the Planet Express crew is back defying gravity and common sense from the creator of The Simpsons. Come 10 new episodes where the romance is hotter, the threats are bigger and the action hits harder.
C
Don't miss the all new season of Futurama returning September 15th at 8pm Watch it on FXX or stream it on Hulu.
D
If you're an adult struggling with obesity, if you've struggled for years and years, you are not alone. But Zepbound Tirzepatide is changing what's possible when it comes to weight loss along with diet and exercise proven to help lose weight and keep it off. Zepbound is a prescription medicine for adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight related medical problems. Zepbound should be used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity. Zepbound injection is Approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5 or 15mg per 0.5mg ML in single dose pen or single dose vial. Don't use with other Tirzepatide containing products or any GLP1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound can be used in children. Don't take Zepbound if allergic to it or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine neoplasia Syndrome Type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes, depression or suicidal thoughts before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. If you're nursing pregnant, plan to be or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulfonylurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Discover the weight loss you could be bound for. Ask your healthcare provider about Zepbound or call 1-800-545-5979. Explore Savings Options regardless of insurance status at save on zepbound.com Terms and conditions apply.
A
Let's do one more, then I'll. Then we can wind it down. Mark, what is the phoenix nest?
B
The phoenix nest is a vagina because it's a source of rebirth.
A
The most logical explanation you've had for any of these yet. I think I should give you a point just for somehow doing that. And I'm proud of you.
C
You logical. I've got an answer for you.
A
All right, Bob. What is the phoenix nest?
C
Okay, this cannot. It does not get more logical than what I'm about to drop on you way up high in trees. It's the nest that the phoenix lives in. I promise you. Logic.
A
You delivered.
C
Are you not entertained? I make funny ones. You scoff at me. I make logical ones. You scoff at me. There's no winning here.
A
I just didn't expect it to be so logical like that.
C
That's how I sold it. I said it was the most logical.
A
Thing, that A plus B equals C. It blew my mind, to be honest with you. That was even. A plus B was. That was A plus B equals B plus A. Like that was.
C
That was just A equals A. Yeah.
A
That was a perfect tautology.
B
Well, we don't need to praise his answer that much. We could. We could throw a couple little compliments on my answer, too.
A
I'll get to that. Bob, what is Mrs. Fub's parlor?
C
Oh, that wasn't the last one. Got it. This is Fubs Parlor.
A
Mrs. Fub's Parlor.
C
That is the. The most popular ice Cream shop in the Jersey shore area.
A
Jersey Shore. That's very specific. Okay, Mark, Mrs. Fub's parlor.
B
It's another slang for vagina. You want to step into Mrs. Fub's parlor.
A
Just like Bob was good with John Goodfellow. Mark, you're right. These are all Female anatomy.
C
I knew it.
A
The Phoenix Nest. The Netherlands.
B
I Knew knew it.
A
Mount Pleasant.
C
I knew it.
A
And Mrs. Fub's Parlor.
B
I knew it.
C
Just the Netherlands.
A
The Netherlands.
C
That's already something else. I don't know if that's me.
A
And the Mrs. Went down to Mrs. Fubs parlor yesterday.
C
You both went.
A
It does take two. All right, well, we'll wrap up there. Mark, you got vagina. Bob, you got penis. Congrats.
C
Yay.
A
Bonus point. I'm trying to think what I want to do for a bonus point.
C
Oh, yeah, you need to add a thing to the wheel, which is the thing I am in charge of.
A
I don't know. I feel like this might go against you a little bit, Bob, but I don't know if we have one on here for. Where are they? Like for someone being somewhere else?
C
Yeah, because I've recorded three episodes ever not from my office.
B
No, there's some favoring you guys picks.
C
I think that that's fair. That's fair. So what, like the well traveled man.
A
Away from home or mystery studio? I don't know. Something like that.
C
Undisclosed location.
B
Witness protection. Put it down as witness protection.
C
Oh, witness protection.
A
Yeah, I'm sure when that comes up in like four months, we'll. We'll all be like, the fuck was that?
C
Why don't we write witness protection? What does that mean?
A
I'll read off what you guys have points for so far without telling you the totals. Mark, you have points for peekaboo. Tech gibberish.
C
Tech gibberish. Damn.
A
Put the sex back. Is that what that says?
C
Sure.
A
Something Lion King.
B
Alina Way Alina.
A
This cannot say to love man pies, but it looks like it says to love man pies.
B
This is exactly what it says. Because I said it means no worries.
A
Egg of a claws and vagina. Bob, you got points for.
C
Aha.
A
Brave son raining jizz. Happy returns off the cob. Something. Mikata, Focus your audie. Yo. Bright disease, Santa sharp and penis.
C
Feeling good about how long those lists are. I'm gonna spend the how many Wheel? Wheel says 1. Bonus point.
A
That was gonna go to listeners or viewers. Viewers.
C
Calling it now.
A
Committing viewers. Double or nothing.
B
Oh, so fucking close.
A
Best looking.
C
I didn't shower like I showered yesterday. Morning. So it's been like more than a day since I've showered.
A
Are you trying to talk yourself out of the point or into it?
C
I'm just being honest. Like, I don't know how I look to you guys. I feel pretty grimy. I'm not feeling like I look that great.
B
I showered just yesterday. I'm on vacation. I'm so rested and relaxed. I'm glowing, practically.
A
If that's how you two wanted to determine it, I guess I can go that route. Out. I was going to say I was going to give it to Bob because Bob's camera quality is just so much better today. So he looks.
C
I. I am. I'm more well lit. My camera is definitely doing. Doing a lot of work here.
B
Hold on, let me turn on studio light.
C
Yeah.
A
My God, your shoulder is so sharp.
B
Center stage.
A
No. Come on.
B
Come on. Do it.
C
Come on, come on, come on.
A
Do it.
C
It. Come on.
B
Come on. There you go. Yeah. For some reason, when I turn on center stage, it kind of follows me. And then when I turn it off, it just zooms in. But why would it zoom in?
C
That's really confusing. Yeah, well, you're the host, Wade. I don't know what we're talking about anymore, but it's your call.
A
I'll leave it up to a coin whether I go with camera quality or just Mark's cleanliness. Mark's cleanliness will be heads. Camera quality will be tails. Cleanliness. Mark gets the point.
C
Thank you.
A
I'm very glad it didn't land on viewers or listeners because I gotta say, it was tied at 10.
C
Oh, I got a bad feeling about the outcome.
A
So the clean point going to Mark means that Mark wins by one. Congratulations.
B
Me the winner.
A
Really hope the recording quality is better than what I'm seeing, like, movement.
B
All right. Well, thank you.
A
Winner speech.
B
Oh, well, thank you very much. All my answers didn't make any sense at all. I. If anything, if it was. If it was an act of sabotage I was trying to do to sabotage my chances, I don't think I could have put forward a bever performance. How I won, I don't know, but. Hey, hamuka matata Bob.
A
Not winner speech.
C
Well, he sort of took my line there. I was gonna. That's just how it goes sometimes, you know? Know sometimes you're not the best looking one ever.
A
Well said. If you haven't already, go follow market markiplier Bob at my skirm. Follow me if you want. Minion 77 or L. Minion 777. I'm still posting blueprints and I'm sure Mark will be too. And I guess Mark will host the next one. Stay tuned for that until then. Podcast out this episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit Snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusion. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.
B
Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.
C
Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.
B
Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.
A
It's an unbelievable taste sensation, so they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions Please use responsibly.
C
Adjective.
D
Used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one who navigates life.
A
On their own terms, effortlessly.
D
They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as.
B
If they do not exist.
D
New Team the new fragrance by Miu Miu defined by you.
Hosts: Mark Fischbach ("Mark"), Wade Barnes ("Wade"), Bob Muyskens ("Bob")
Episode: Peekaboo!
Release Date: May 26, 2025
This episode delivers classic Distractible energy: the three friends trade stories about recent life mishaps, quirky personal updates, and compete through a raucous, never-quite-on-track game of deciphering old-timey slang. With plenty of tangents (Linux rants, missing cars, mysterious medical woes), Wade acts as host, guiding Mark and Bob through rounds of humorous guessing, banter, and self-deprecating revelations. Their competitive streak runs wild as they vie for the highest score—and hosting rights for the next episode—while the audience is treated to a mixture of absurd storytelling and quick-witted chaos.
[04:00–12:30]
Mark’s “Witness Protection” Bit: Mark jokes about constantly being on the move, as if hiding in witness protection but unable to stop incriminating himself:
"I just wake up every morning, go out on my porch, go, hello everybody. And people find me." – Mark [04:10]
Bob’s Update – The “Trustworthy Twos”: Bob shares his toddler James has hit a reckless phase:
"He just does stuff like that. He has started falling off of things now. ... He doesn't get scared." – Bob [06:05]
The group jokes he’s entering his “Mark era” of fearless destruction.
Mark’s 3D Printer Guilt: Mark sheepishly confesses anxiety over not making a video about the free Prusa 3D printers he received, despite them running at full productivity:
"I haven't promoted Prusa. ... They’re like chugging 24/7 now and I'm just like, oh, I got all this productivity for all these printers I got for free..." – Mark [07:45]
Dabbling with Houdini (3D Software) and Linux Frustrations:
Mark dives into trying out Houdini and being forced to use Linux, launching into a rant about Linux package chaos:
"If you install it for Houdini, you need to install all of these plugins...that list that I read you is for only some of those distributions..." – Mark [10:04]
Bob relates with a dilemma over switching browsers, feigning relatable tech angst.
[14:10–16:32]
"Where is it? Is it in the ocean? Is it in Germany, or is it here?" – Wade [15:38]
"That car. My guy, that car is gone." – Mark [15:43]
Lots of jokes about BMW shipping conspiracies and the car being deleted, both digitally and literally.
[16:46–19:04]
"If he played the game for 10 more minutes rather than the 40 minutes he took in Photoshop, he might have just found the item..." – Wade [18:40]
"I uploaded a picture.... And it was like, judging by this, could it be swan song? And I went, you [expletive]..." – Mark [19:04]
[21:25–24:55]
"It was very painful and very confusing to wake up half asleep and just be in excruciating pain like that out of nowhere." – Wade [24:53]
The crew jokes about subreddit doctors and WebMD paranoia.
[26:45–55:10]
Wade hosts another round of “Guess That Slang,” pitching historical (and often absurd) words or phrases to Mark and Bob, who try to define them—sometimes seriously, often, not.
Happy Returns [29:10]
Actual definition: Vomiting
Mark, riffing:
"You go to get a refund on your happy ending because you’re dissatisfied..." – Mark [29:28]
Bob, escalating it:
"You finish up into the air. And then you get covered in happy returns." – Bob [30:12]
Lean Away [31:03]
Definition: Someone who's tipsy
Mark sings:
"Popularized by Lion King: 'A lean away, a lean away...'" – Mark [32:07]
Off the Cob [33:47]
Definition: Corny, overly sentimental
Bob and Mark become increasingly absurd, confusing “on” and “off” while riffing on corn and Nebraska.
Red Onion [37:00]
Definition: Dive bar
Bob:
"A red onion is a vegetable." – Bob [36:56]
Focus Your Audio [38:00]
Definition: Pay attention/listen carefully
Bob’s elaborate car-racing story is undercut by Wade:
"Just means listen carefully, man." – Wade [40:34]
Master John Goodfellow, Staff of Life, The Gentleman Usher [47:31]
All: Old slang for penis
Mark (deadpan):
"It was John Goodman's briefcase." – Mark [45:56]
The group runs wild coming up with absurd euphemisms, then learns the real answers.
Phoenix Nest, Mrs. Fub’s Parlor, The Netherlands, Mount Pleasant [50:19, 51:21]
All: Slang for vagina
Mark, guessingly accurate:
"The phoenix nest is a vagina because it's a source of rebirth." – Mark [50:19]
[53:13–55:10]
"Cleanliness. Mark gets the point." – Wade [55:39]
On Technical Overwhelm:
"If you install it for Houdini, you need to install all of these plugins...I'm halfway through the list. I'm less than halfway through the list." – Mark [11:05]
On Slang Game Absurdity:
"Somehow, both of you are Sean Connery today and I don't know how." – Wade [35:08]
On Penis Euphemisms:
"We gotta do an episode where we do nothing but come up with alternate names for penis." – Bob [48:03]
On Losing:
"Sometimes you’re not the best looking one ever." – Bob [56:27]
On Mark’s Victory:
"All my answers didn’t make any sense at all. ... How I won, I don’t know, but. Hey, hamuka matata Bob." – Mark [56:09]
| Time | Segment / Topic | |------------|-----------------------------------------------| | 04:00–12:30| Life updates, “witness protection”, 3D printers, Houdini rant | | 14:10–16:32| Wade’s BMW missing at sea | | 16:46–19:04| Puzzles in “Blueprints” and AI talk | | 21:25–24:55| Wade’s mysterious eye emergency | | 26:45–55:10| Old-timey slang guessing game (main segment) | | 53:13–55:10| Score tally, bonus point, Mark wins | | 56:09 | Winner’s speech |
“Peekaboo!” is classic Distractible: a wild ride through the friends’ lives and minds, laced with sharp humor, strange trivia, and no small amount of friendly confusion. Through Linux headaches, lost BMWs, dangerous toddlers, and a barrage of phallic euphemisms, Wade’s near-inept scoring steers Mark to a questionable victory. If you missed the episode, just know that logic took a back seat—and everyone had a blast.
End of Summary