Shame, Shame, Shame

Summary

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Distractible Podcast – “Shame, Shame, Shame”

Episode Date: September 26, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens
Theme: Airing Grievances and Public Shame

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Episode Overview

In this spirited and meandering episode, Mark, Wade, and Bob dive into the nature of “shameful” moments—public, personal, and entirely tongue-in-cheek. The trio build on their signature banter to discuss internet controversies, awkward anecdotes, and take satirical aim at everything from celebrity faux pas to malfunctioning refrigerators. Points are awarded for particularly shameful contributions, resulting in a playfully competitive airing of grievances.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Exchanges

1. Opening Banter & Culinary Small Talk

(02:07–13:47)

• Steak and Smoked Meat Debates
  • Bob shares a new method for smoking pork shoulder with “big chunks of wood” (05:43).

    “My dad made the best smoked pulled pork shoulder I’ve had in a while...and it was real good.” – Bob (06:27)

  • Mark details his evolving steak-cooking process—air fryer, reverse sear, and cast iron convenience vs. perfection debates.

    “With A1 sauce, anything can be good. But I learned a new strategy: low-temp air fryer, then pan sear.” – Mark (07:48)

  • Bob recommends high-carbon steel pans as a happy medium.

    “It has similar capability to cast iron but is way lighter.” – Bob (10:18)

  • Wade details his unfortunate quest for a mashed potato side gone wrong due to a leaky, unsealed package (13:16).

2. The Shame Segment Begins

(15:40–22:40)

• Mark transitions to the heart of the episode: searching for modern tales of shame and calling out the worst offenders.

• Wade admits being “tall and bald” hoping it’ll count as shame; Mark is supportive:

  “There’s no shame in that, buddy. You gotta be proud.” – Mark (15:53)

• The Tennis Hat Incident (16:31–22:40)

  • A viral tale is recounted: a tall adult snatches a signed tennis player’s cap intended for a child.
  • Wade sides, jokingly, with the adult (“be bigger kid...you’ll win next time”) (17:00), as Mark reads the offender’s unapologetic, cocky statement:

    “I won the hat because I am stronger and therefore I’m consciously keeping it.” (17:02)

  • A subsequent, almost comically contrite statement is issued by the same person, only to backpedal further (“bad translation...he was explaining, like, the hat was supposed to be given to that boy. I’m sorry...I kept the hat.” – Bob, 20:10).
  • The group mocks his lawsuit threats and ploy for sympathy, labeling it as “shameful.”

3. Celebrity, Culture, and Internet Gripes

(22:41–39:21)

• Music Video Injustice
  • Mark highlights Sabrina Carpenter’s “Man Child” music video for not featuring extra Robert Rex enough, bemoaning:

    “Shame on Sabrina Carpenter for not featuring the star...Robert Rex should have been at the top of the building.” – Mark (24:05)

  • Further, he accuses Sabrina of "ripping off" Ninja Sex Party’s music (28:05), dubbing it “shameful.”
• Grievances vs. Having Grievances
  • Bob admits he came unprepared to complain, prompting meta-shaming for lack of shaming (28:43).
• Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift & Allegiance
  • Wade mockingly shames NFL star Travis Kelce for representing too many cities and states, suggesting a lack of loyalty (29:18).
• University of Cincinnati Snub
  • Mark and Wade lament not being more valued as alumni, especially compared to Kelce, suggesting the university itself should be ashamed (31:15).
• The Samsung Fridge Rant
  • Bob lambasts Samsung for a refrigerator that repeatedly froze into a block of ice:

    “Who designs a drain tube that gets clogged? ...Samsung, either stop making refrigerators or steal someone else’s design.” – Bob (32:16)

• No Man’s Sky Update Woes
  • Wade pokes fun at the timing of No Man’s Sky updates for interfering with his productivity.

4. Pet Peeves & Newsworthy Shame

(39:21–44:02)

• Viral Hashtags & Clickbait
  • Wade rails against misleading trending hashtags:

    “Shame on hashtags for even existing. They’re clickbaity bullshit.” (40:00)

• Local Political Scandal
  • Bob brings up an Adams County Commissioner allegedly filming OnlyFans content in a helicopter—shameful, says all (39:34).
• Absurd International Headlines
  • Mark reads about a UK Green Party leader’s past breast-enlargement hypnotherapy (36:28), leading to mockery and speculation.

5. Society, Class, & Academic Shame

(44:02–53:13)

• Part-time Teacher Scandal in Japan
  • Bob details a Japanese teacher’s public shaming (and firing) for holding a second job at a convenience store:

    “The teacher had to issue an apology for having another job.” (43:23)

  • The hosts satirically shame social mobility and aspiration.

    “Shame on both the poors for trying to get out...and also shame on the riches for even deigning the other areas with their presence.” – Mark (44:02)

• Emma Watson: Speeding & Academia
  • Bob brings up Emma Watson getting a 6-month license suspension for speeding at Oxford, alongside a Harry Potter co-star.
  • Further playful shame is heaped for “getting a PhD in philosophy” (51:29).

6. Highways, Speeding, and Everyday Annoyances

(50:07–51:47)

• The trio vent about speeding tickets, traffic stress, and “shame on slow mergers”—a relatable, Midwestern complaint.

7. Points, Wheels, and Episode Wrap-up

(54:20–62:16)

• In typical Distractible fashion, the episode ends with the points tally, bonus wheel spins, and the crowning of a “winner” (Mark, by chance and by shameful topic contribution).
• Bob and Wade offer tongue-in-cheek loser speeches, with repeated sponsor mentions.
• Reaffirmation of podcast originality:

  “We are original. We are great. I’m a winner. And therefore we’re all a winner. Except you’re not. Just me.” – Mark (61:02)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I emphasize that I won the hat because I am stronger and therefore I am consciously keeping it. I do not greet people sick with envy.”
  – Mark quoting viral tennis fan, (17:02)
• “It’s basically a convection oven...not as good, but still not bad.”
  – Mark on air fryer steak, (10:11)
• “Who designs a drain tube that gets clogged? ... Samsung, either stop making refrigerators or steal someone else's design!”
  – Bob (32:16)
• “Shame on hashtags for even existing. They’re clickbaity bullshit.”
  – Wade (40:00)
• “We should all be separate, but inequal.”
  – Wade, ironically, after a satire about class separation, (44:34)
• “Emma Watson is a coxswain...the shame does not belong to Emma Watson...but the High Wycombe Magistrates Court.”
  – Bob, on academic and legal woes (45:11)
• “We have a game show involved and that’s what sets us apart. We are original. We are great. I’m a winner. ... And I think I contributed more shame articles than you guys did anyway, so I think I deserve it.”
  – Mark (61:02)

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Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | Highlights | |---------------------------|-------------------|----------------------------------------| | Opening Banter / Small Talk | 02:07–13:47 | Grill tips, steak, minor tragedies | | Shameful Deeds: Tennis Hat | 16:31–22:40 | Viral shame, statements, mockery | | Pop Culture / Music Gripes | 22:41–39:21 | Sabrina Carpenter, Samsung, Kelce | | Local & Global Oddities | 39:21–44:02 | OnlyFans in a helicopter, hashtags | | Academic & Speeding Shame | 44:02–53:13 | Emma Watson, school, class jokes | | Traffic & Road Anxieties | 50:07–51:47 | Speeding, merging | | Wheel / Points / Wrap-up | 54:20–62:16 | Game conclusion, speeches, meta banter |

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Closing Thoughts

“Shame, Shame, Shame” is classic Distractible: irreverent, improvisational, and crammed with both sharp jabs and loving in-jokes. The episode is less about real condemnation and more a playful roast of people, places, and pet peeves—reminding listeners not to take themselves (or anything else) too seriously. The signature blend of off-the-wall anecdotes, running gags about points and winners, and endless sponsor cameos makes this a quintessential installment for fans, old and new.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5D Internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks Guarantee exclusions details@t mobile.com Home Internet Good Evening gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Destructible. This episode, meat loving Mark gives culinary tips for flips. Chica slams Sabrina and identifies ignoble actions. Witcher Wade endlessly pokes them all, tosses leaky Bob, accuses God, then targets Travis and nms blustering Bob smokes pork rouse hard carbon, bashes backpedaling and slaps Samsungites. From directed dumping on podcasts to hermiones cocks. Yes, it's time for shame, shame, shame. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hi, welcome back to Distractable. Yes, I switched to my radio voice. No, I wasn't just talking like this a little bit ago, but are my friends gonna call me out on this? No, they are not, because they're my friends and you're my friends for listening to this or watching it. Hi, I'm Markiplier here to bring you another beautiful episode of Distractable, the only show that you'll ever need in your life and all the other ones that we're definitely above now in the rankings after my hit episode, Drama Alarm. Did you see the thumbnail for that one?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Like Sam made me. It's like the Joe Rogan experience.

[C]

Call her bald.

[B]

Made me laugh so hard.

[A]

Oh, yeah, there it is. I saw I had blonde hair and I was like, it's too. I. I can't look at this right now.

[B]

Oh, yeah, what was it? What was it? Baby expert or dad expert?

[C]

Dad expert. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I was actually surprised that the last episode, Drama Alarm, came across so well. You guys were very funny and I told you as much and I thought.

[C]

It was good, but we definitely didn't go down three spots in the ranking since then.

[B]

That doesn't count because it hasn't the effect, the ripple of it.

[C]

Oh, right.

[B]

Those other podcasts are going to get here about it and they get angry and then that's going to feed back into us. You know, any minute now, TMZ is going to pick up the article. Mark and Dax Shepard drama.

[C]

You know, it's coming.

[A]

Markiplier and Friends shit on other creators.

[C]

Such a meteoric rise up. The podcast charts will never have been seen before.

[B]

My strategy will play out and just. And also today is another extension of that, but I'll get to it later.

[A]

Oh, good.

[C]

Mark's 10 part marketing beef strategy.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. You'll get it. But first we gotta. Oh, I gotta get out. My point.

[A]

I just love the idea of slowly turning our podcasting careers into a nuclear explosion. So when we go out, we go out in style.

[B]

We could do that.

[C]

What's up, dramalarm nation?

[B]

Uh, 8% battery on my Remarkable.

[C]

That's probably enough. Just don't write too Much.

[B]

Don't worry, I won't. Don't know how you guys are.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Wade gets the agree point. Which is weird, because I think the last time I scored, I gave you an agree point and it subtracted a point. Let me check that.

[C]

I think you gave him for agreeing with me, and somehow it became my point.

[B]

Yeah, somehow. Also, I wrote that on a piece of paper and not this thing, so I can't confirm that. But wait, you got an agree point. So who wants to go first on their small talk?

[C]

I learned a new way to smoke meat this weekend. Anyone want to hear about it?

[A]

But you roll it, then you light one in.

[C]

No, I was going to say bong. No, I always thought to. So all I have is a charcoal grill. Just a Weber kettle grill, basic one. That's not me. It's whatever. It's a grill. And I always thought to smoke stuff, you had to, like, soak wood chips in water or put them in, like, a foil pouch or. There's a whole situation. My dad came to town this weekend and smoked a pork shoulder. And turns out all you need is big fucking chunks of wood. And if you put them on the charcoal, but then keep the lid on it and manage the air, they just don't ignite. But they smoke anyway. My dad made the best smoked pulled pork shoulder I've had in a while this weekend, and it was real good.

[A]

Dude, Homemade pulled pork.

[B]

So good. I elevated my steak cooking method because lately I've been doing a higher protein diet, trying to lose some weight and get in shape again. It's going well. Thanks for asking.

[C]

I didn't ask, Bobby.

[B]

You're the source of my ire. I'm giving you an ire point.

[A]

I'm glad you said something, because I told me you look the same, but you already remain so.

[C]

Oh, I thought you were looking shorter.

[A]

Oh, no, you're losing height, not weight.

[B]

No, I. So I've been cooking a lot of steaks. Also, I've been getting really good at getting deals at the store. You go right before closing or right after open, and you wait, you watch the manager walks the floor with those coupons and the gun that prints out the clearance. Who are you?

[C]

Me?

[B]

I. If I'm gonna get all the wheel bonus points this episode, and I'm gonna win. You guys are hell Jesus. Don't even try to compete. Anyway, so you follow the manager around you. You wait for them to get to the meat section because obviously, like, meat's pretty expensive, right? And I'm sorry to anybody that doesn't need meat, but I do. And it's, you know, if they, if they could there. I've always said if there comes a day when they get artificial meat, good stakes or even close, and it's getting there, it's getting closer, I will do it. But there was some information recently about how some of those protein profiles that they were talking about were not as good as they claim them to be. But I got like at the equivalent of Kroger's out here, a two pack of bone in ribeye steaks for like 7.99 a pound. They were going to expire in two days. And I scooped up two packs of that, froze two of them, and then I started cooking again. And used to, I used to do them in the air fryer. To the bane of everybody who loves a good steak, I would cook mine in the air fryer. It wasn't bad, but with A1 sauce, anything can be good. But I learned a new strategy recently is I pop it in the air fryer at a low temperature, right? As low as it'll go, which is usually like 300. You know, that's not super low, but it's low enough. Because one of the ways that a lot of good restaurants or people that actually care about cooking it, they bake it first to get in reverse sear. Reverse sear, right. So while that's going, I'm heating up the pan to like a screaming temperature.

[C]

Like as hot, like stainless, high carbon. What are you cooking on?

[B]

Well, it's this newer nonstick. I actually invested in good pots and pans, and they're very nice. I don't know what they're made of, but I did it once or twice in a stainless steel and I've done it in a. The cast iron. Cast iron was best, but such a pain in the ass to clean. I'm looking for convenience. So I get the nonstick there, get it up to 500 something degrees with a temperature gun. I'm looking at it. As soon as it's ready to go, chase it with like a little bit of butter first, just so it browns the butter. Because butter will brown so fast at the temperature. As soon as it just pops in, slam that steak in. Like, it'll just go crazy. Get the edges, sear the fat cap, flip the other side. On the other side of the pan where it's still hot, super brown delicious. I'm actually making decent steaks and I got this like garlic rosemary rub. Oh, it's good.

[A]

I've not had lunch yet. And this is the most painful small talk we've had in a while. So I'm just like, yeah, how could.

[B]

Because baking in an oven would take too long. But air fryer. Oh, yeah, yeah. Air fryer. It is useful for that, no?

[C]

That's good. Yeah. What. What fancy restaurants and chefs do is sous vide up to temp and then sear it after. But the air fryer is good because it. At a low temp, it is like. It's similar to sous vide because it's, like, convecting. Right. It's more. But I could see that. I could see that working.

[B]

It's basically a convection oven, and it's, like, not as good because the heat transfer won't be as slow and even, but it's still not bad.

[C]

And I know you're looking for convenience, but if you're looking for perfection on steaks, on a pan, I got to point you towards high carbon steel. It's those black steel pans, and they, like, Oxo sells a high carbon steel pan for, like, a very reasonable price.

[B]

So good.

[C]

So dense. It. It has a similar capability to cast iron, but it's a little bit more. It's way lighter weight because it's like a normal. And. But I love my high carbon steel pan.

[B]

That sounds pretty good. Yeah.

[C]

It's hard to be the convenience of nonstick. I do get that.

[B]

Yeah. Best steak I ever did was with, like, I seared it first and then butter basted for, like, 10 minutes. But that's annoying because you got to there with it tilted for 10 minutes, scooping, splattering, butter all over the stove.

[C]

If you're doing it, like, every day, every other day, you don't want to do that all the time.

[B]

I'm not doing that. I get good enough with what I'm doing. So anyway, Wade, you hungry?

[A]

I'm so hungry.

[C]

All right. And then I made some ice cream. Wade, do you like ice cream?

[B]

Oh, no. I left my lunch out of the fridge. My lunch is not good. It's a. I pre made it pre mixed a protein shake. That's my lunch.

[C]

Quick, tear down your wall of cushions.

[B]

Oh, sorry. Don't mind me. He's so barricaded.

[C]

Are those cinder blocks? What is that made of?

[B]

Shush, shush.

[C]

Chica. Go help daddy. Oh, never mind.

[A]

Chica. Cameo.

[C]

Father, come back.

[B]

Father.

[A]

I was telling you guys this a little bit off camera, so I cheated, but pokey Rogue. New weekly addiction. I find a new one every week. The game's a year or so old. They're still constantly updating it. You start off with all the starters. You go, you just battle and catch, battle and catch. You get like egg voucher things that you put into a gacha system. You hatch. You're trying to get shinies and legendaries and shiny legendaries because having shinies on your team boosts the quality of drops and stuff because you increase a luck stat. It's a whole thing. I don't know. I don't know how many hours I've put on in the last seven days in that game. Because I can play. It's a browser. You play on your browser. So I can play on my phone, my tablet, computer, whatever. It's everywhere I go. You have to beat classic mode. Then you can unlock something called endless mode. Endless has an ending. I found out I haven't even unlocked. Of all the hours I've put in, I've not beaten classic yet. I guess I'm not great at the game, but I have a lot of fun with it and I did hatch. There's different tiers of shiny you get. There's like the common tier one, tier two, then tier three is the rarest. And each have like a bigger boost. The rarer the more boost you get to your luck stat. I've only ever hatched one shiny, but it was a shiny Articuno, which is kind of cool. Next time I win, I should just host an episode where I just play that the whole time and just make you guys talk and then write down some bullshit points. Another bit of small talk. We were making steak here at the house and we didn't have like. We were trying to do something quick at night so we had one of those like Bob Evans mashed potato pre made thing just to toss in. And it was like the last one we had and it was like, oh, it sounds. We were just craving it. It's like garlic mashed potato. We were craving. It was like, oh man. Pair this with the steak, some green beans, gonna be great. Go to like get the mashed potato out and it's not been sealed properly when they, when they packaged it. So it's been exposed to air, it's leaking, all the liquid is out. We had to throw it away. Like we had the steak and it was like the one thing we wanted to like have the perfect pairing that we were craving and we had to throw it out and not eat it. And it was. The rest of the meal was still good but like missing that, it was very sad.

[B]

No, I feel you. I feel you. I've I've actually had that before. I'm like, yeah, I'm craving. I was defrosting this piece of salmon this morning. It's going to be great. And by the time I get there in the evening, I'm like, oh, I defrosted it last week. Shit. That wasn't this morning at all. And it's incredibly old. So yeah, I've done that before. I give you a point for that. Mashed potatoes of sadness. That's good.

[A]

Another green bean kick lately, which Eric apparently good for you, I guess.

[B]

But yeah, they're good. Yeah, especially if they're made right.

[A]

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[C]

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[B]

So neither of you got the transition point or the segue point. It was shame related. I was looking for something shameful that you were going to admit. And I don't think either of you had any shameful actions.

[A]

I'm bald.

[B]

It's not shame. There's no shame in that, buddy. You gotta be proud.

[A]

I'm tall and bald.

[B]

Those are both admirable qualities in many circles. I don't think that you need to be shameful for that. Did you guys see there was a tennis match where one of the tennis players, I don't know who, I don't watch tennis, but one of the players was signing things in the stands and this kid was all, it's my favorite tennis player. Just like, just a little kid. And you know, the guy was wearing a hat just like mine. Just like mine. I'm not saying that I'm the guy in the story, but it's not just.

[A]

Like the kid or the tennis player.

[B]

The tennis player had a hat. And so he signed something. Signed something. And he takes his hat off and he. He hands it up towards the kid, looks away, expecting the kid to grab it. Some guy, big, tall guy. Just like you, Wade. Just kind of like you.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I just happened to have a new hat recently, but he.

[B]

Right out of the kid's hands. The kid goes like a baby, you know?

[A]

Yeah, be bigger kid. And he'll win next time.

[B]

You know, it's funny you say that. It's funny you say that. Okay, because I want to read you. Because I'm skipping ahead. But that's so funny because. From the guy who did this. Dear subject statement. Dear ladies and gentlemen, due to the fact that your hysteria is getting out of control, I have decided to issue a statement to clarify who should receive the hat. I emphasize that I won the hat because I am stronger and therefore I am consciously keeping it. I do not greet people sick with envy. Coach of winners, Peter Cesare.

[A]

I'm bigger, I'm stronger, I'm better. The kid didn't win the competition. Even though the hat was aimed at him to be given to him as a gift. I intercepted it. Just like in sports, it's mine. Suck it, kid.

[B]

Pretty much. I mean, I don't get where people could possibly have an issue with this. So Wade, you're in the firm camp. This guy is right, Bob. No, wait, I'm giving you a point for that. You go like, okay, the guy was stronger. Period.

[C]

Well, I. I just want to say I think both Pier and Wade probably should lose that point because the original statement from this guy was. That was what you said. And he was immediately like, it's. I. I deserve that. It's my hat. I'm stronger than that stupid kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Apparently in the last 24 hours he issued a different statement where he was like, hum. Actually I've come to realize that what I did was I made a mistake. And I was so sure because my kids had asked for an autograph before and I was so sure the guy was handing the hat to me, I instinctively reached for it. And what may look like me stealing something from a child is actually me securing something very important for my own child because of good, strong parental instincts. I'm sorry I hurt the boy and disappointed my many fans.

[B]

Your fans?

[C]

I don't know. The statement's in Polish. All I have is translations, and I have no idea how accurate these are, honestly. But it hurts for me. But I needed a needed lesson in humility. That's why I will be even more actively involved in initiatives that support children and adolescents and actions against violence and hate. He won't be Man. The backpedal of the week right there, dude.

[B]

What? What? Is that dated?

[C]

That's on. That's a Facebook post. Yesterday at 8am, I assume Polish time. So that's in, like, the last 24 hours.

[A]

But he's keeping the hat. He learned his lesson, but he's keeping the hat.

[C]

No, no, no. According to the statement, the hat has been given to that child. Oh, wait, no, actually, wait, no. It's just bad translation. He was explaining, like, you know what? The hat was supposed to be given to that boy. And I'm sorry, to him. I kept the hat.

[B]

I'm in Poland now. The kid's not Polish. He's not even here.

[A]

But I'm humiled. I'm very humiled.

[B]

Now, there's no way to get this hat to wherever that kid was from, whatever poor country he was from.

[C]

This statement claims that that previous statement, with all the ballsiness in it, was not even him. If true, not a backpedal. If not true, even more epic. Backpedal. This guy was like. I never even said that. That wasn't even me. Those words don't even exist. Check the Internet. It's all AI. It's made. It's in your imagination, right?

[B]

I wanna. I wanna read one more statement that may or may not be true. It's just, you know, text on the Internet. Who knows? But hilarious. Dated one day before that statement you read on the 31st of August. Thanks to this hat, I'll soon be on Dancing with the Stars. And what about you? Are you still crawling for minimum wage? No evidence that this is real, but, God, I hope it is.

[A]

I'll bet that kid can't even get a job anyway.

[B]

He's also suing anyone that says anything negative about him for libel and slander. So we're all. Wade, you're being sued.

[A]

I thought I was him. No.

[B]

Yeah, Bob, you're being sued.

[C]

Why am I being sued? I was giving him credit for his enormous backpedal.

[B]

Oh, you're right. You're right. I'm being sued. Okay, okay.

[A]

We can all agree to that.

[C]

I want to know what the truth is in all of this, what's happening.

[B]

Here, I think he is a dick because you don't do that without being a massive douche, period. It doesn't matter what anyone says. Otherwise. He stole a hat from a kid, didn't even remotely regret. And we've seen video evidence of this happening all the time. You've seen, like, ladies at baseball games, it being like, yoink right out of children's hands or like someone grabbing it, like, right out, like, pushing a kid out of the way to grab it. You know, there's been tons of evidence of that. So I do not doubt this guy. Whatever he had in his head at that time was like, mine. Get fucked, kid. So in the era of shame, that's what the theme of this episode is. We're going to talk about shameful moments in. In the Internet as it is right now. If you've got any gripes against anyone, anybody could be podcast or otherwise. I have one more if you guys need to think more or research more. If you need time. Do you need time?

[C]

I need a second.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

All right, cool. I'm going to talk to you. Do you guys know Sabrina Carpenter?

[A]

Never met her.

[B]

This is nothing against her musicality, by the way. This is not what this is about.

[A]

Oh, here we go.

[B]

Have you seen the music video for Man Child?

[C]

I think I've seen clips. It would have been nice. I was scrolling on something, but this.

[B]

Music video came out called Man Child. Right. And do you guys know Robert Rex?

[C]

He's the chef.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. I didn't at first, but now when Bob said that, it jogged the memories. Now it's back in my head.

[B]

I was like, somewhere in this music video. It's so hard to find him. I can't even remember what time stamp he was. He's in this music video. Like, Robert Rex has been in so many music videos as, like, an extra or a person in it. He is like a music video guy. He's been in tons. In this particular one, his shot featuring him where he was dry, I believe he was driving some vehicle in there, was cut early. You barely even got to see that it was him. And I think that is complete injustice. And I am shaming Sabrina Carpenter for. Oh, actually, I think it's in the beginning. It's like. It's like minute. No. Is that him? I can't tell. I don't know. He's in this music video and he talked about it because it was a really fun shoot, but they didn't have him in it. They Cut. Anything that was featuring him.

[C]

Is he driving the box truck that you can't see? The driver of that she flips off as it goes past?

[B]

That might be him. I actually. I really like this music video, by the way. If you haven't seen it. It's such a fun watch with really good usage of VFX to do absurdist things. Really, really interesting music video if you're into Sabrina Carpenter's music or not. It's just a fun watch. So it might be that box truck, it might be any number of these vehicles, but it's just. I felt so bad. Shame on Sabrina Carpenter for not featuring the star of that music video. And, yes, above, Sabrina Carpenter, Robert Rex should have been at the top of the building.

[C]

It's not really embarrass for her, honestly.

[B]

All right, now, that should have given you guys time to gather your shame. All right, who's. I don't. I didn't bring my coin again.

[C]

Oh, you better hope that that doesn't come up.

[A]

Someone's in violation of distractable code 0317B.

[B]

And that's the second time I've done this. I'll flip, chica.

[C]

All right, all right, all right.

[B]

Chica. Heads or tails? She's. She actually got heads or tails, man.

[A]

One of us is going to feel really bad when we call it then.

[B]

Come here, come here, come here. All right, who's calling it? Who's what? Whose heads? Whose tails?

[C]

I'm heads.

[B]

Come on. Okay, and flip. You're so heavy.

[A]

She could probably flip you.

[B]

Easy. Flip, flip, flip, flip. Editors, make her flip, for fuck's sake. Just pick heads.

[C]

Ah, Heads. Weights. Heads.

[A]

Me.

[C]

Yeah. Wade's Tales.

[A]

Whatever's happening, we're gonna start at the top, and it'll all be less exciting from here. I'm going big at the start.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm going after God. I was in college. Had my laptop typing on my lap a bunch. Apparently, it's really bad wrist posture. And I got, like, carpal tunnel or whatever in my wrist. Been playing, like, Poke Rogue. I was talking about earlier on my tablet, my phone, computer. I've been having, like, some pain in the. This region of my hand. And it's like, why make such a great game if you're gonna punish me for playing it? Asshole. You know, why isn't my body adapted to play it all the time? Why pain? Why hurtsies? So, big guy upstairs, not the best designer. Maybe hire someone next time. Get some help. Contract subcontract. Sure you can afford it?

[B]

The rich guy upstairs Ain't trickling down enough. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[A]

People say eat the rich. I think we heart up top.

[B]

All right. Okay. That's a bold start. That's going to be hard to beat. Good thing it's not a beating competition. It's a quantity competition.

[C]

Bob Wade again.

[B]

No, no, me. It's my turn again. Okay, so another one.

[A]

All right.

[B]

You guys know Sabrina Carpenter, right? Never met her. Got another bone to pick with Sabrina Carpenter.

[A]

Did you know Rex? Rex? Rex, Rex, Rexy. We call him Rexy's.

[B]

Minus one point. Minus one point for Rexy. Did you know Rexy? I know the.

[A]

But my mouth didn't say it.

[B]

Uh huh. What is it?

[A]

Robert Redford. Robert Rex.

[B]

Robert Redford. Dear Lord. Nope. All right. Swinging a miss. Someone pointed out this actually isn't. Isn't from me. Amy told me about someone else starting to talk about this or multiple people being like, hey, wait a minute. Sabrina Carpenter, whose music is predominantly about sex and, you know, promiscuity. And that's fine, no judgment there. But especially like the. The style of music is trending towards Ninja Sex Party. Both in the musicality, the theme was always there with like Ninja Sex Party literally being about nothing but sex, promiscuity. And now I never really got that.

[A]

From their music, but if you say so.

[B]

Oh, you appreciate it for the art. Yeah.

[C]

You read Ninja Sex Party for the article.

[B]

You know, they knew more, of course, and I'm sure Sabrina Carpenter. But people are starting to say, like, hey, wait a minute, she's just doing the same thing that Ninja Sex Party did. Hey, and it's cool because more attention should be gotten to Ninja Sex Party in the first place. But shame Sabrina Carpenter for ripping off Ninja Sex Party. I will have another Sabrina Carpenter shame when I come back around. All right, Bob, did that give you enough time?

[C]

Honestly, I don't have shit for this. I'm gonna be 100% honest.

[A]

You know, you could. I'm gonna give you one if you want to take it. You could have a gripe against the host for making you come up with gripes that you don't have.

[C]

Yeah. Mark just assumes everybody has these common complaints that everybody has, and I don't have them. Is this just a thing that's on your guys's minds? Is this like, things come up and you're like, wow, they should be ashamed of that?

[A]

No, I'm just kind of bullshitting as we go along, to be honest with you.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I was last night we were watching something and I Was like, hey, man, that would be. That'd be fun to talk about, but I guess not. It's fine. Whatever.

[C]

No, it's not your fault. It's me.

[A]

I just hate more people.

[B]

All right, wait, who do you hate?

[A]

You know what? We're going with Travis Kelsey. We've been talking in the music genre. Travis Kelsey, born Cleveland, Ohio. Went to college, University of Cincinnati. Plays football. Kansas City. Is that Kansas or Missouri? Engaged to Taylor Swift from writing Pennsylvania. How many states and cities does this fucker need to claim? Just pick a place.

[C]

Does he claim all those?

[A]

Be loyal to a place, man. You're engaged. You want to be loyal to a person, Be loyal to a place. Pick Cincinnati.

[B]

I just love it. Yeah. We're talking about musicality and music. Travis Kelsey, you know Taylor Swift music. You didn't say that.

[C]

Does he hold a large claim on all of these places?

[A]

I think he owns all of them. He owns most of Ohio, most of Missouri and Kansas, and now Pennsylvania.

[B]

I will say what's. What's. What's interesting is he got an honor non honorary degree. I think he went back and actually got his degree in, like, 2022 from University of Cincinnati for something which I don't know if that means he didn't graduate. We were in the same graduating year, so we were. I was. He was there somewhere when we were there.

[A]

Bob playing football.

[B]

I hear he got a degree. And as a guy with more Instagram followers than him, by 5 million. University of Cincinnati. As the most famous alumni from University of Cincinnati, I think. I think that, you know, maybe a degree or two would be.

[A]

I thought they'd even, like, email us to come do, like, a caregiver speech for, you know, Relay for Life or American Cancer Society or something. I was like, oh, man, I can't wait to do something for no further uc. They just sent me the alumni, like, hey, you want to donate money? And it's like, I want to talk about. I like talk.

[B]

Is it because I didn't actually graduate? Is that what it is?

[A]

You're the most embarrassing famous graduate from UC because you don't have the degree. You are that. Whenever they do this episode, they're like, markiplier shame.

[C]

Hey, guys, I thought of one. UC should be ashamed for not giving Mark an honorary degree.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Can I actually get an engineering job with an honorary engineering degree?

[C]

You assemble IKEA furniture all by yourself. You could engineer stuff.

[A]

Look at your great soundproofing behind you. You put that together on the episode.

[B]

Well, Jason made those, but I asked Jason to do it. So basically, you know, I engineered him.

[A]

So what you're saying is you should go straight to supervisor or manager.

[C]

Yeah, you should be a managing engineer.

[B]

But I don't think that they're gonna give that to me, you know? You know. Ow, my eye. Something's in my eye. Quick, Bob, say your thing next while I deal with this.

[C]

You know who should be ashamed? This is reaching back in the history of this podcast, but it's not to the company that people might expect in regards to a refrigerator. Samsung. Samsung should be ashamed because despite everything that happened in the Bob's fridge episode being the fault of a different company or companies, the refrigerator that ultimately was installed eventually, that did work. The one that froze into a solid sheet of ice in the bottom of it that I had to chip out by hand once every couple weeks. It was a piece of garbage. Samsung, either stop making refrigerators or steal someone else's design, because holy fuck, how are you making refrigerators in the year of our Lord 2023 that just turn into ice? It physically stops working. And the problem isn't even technological. It's the drain tube gets clogged. Who designs a drain tube that gets clogged? Anyway, I thought of one. Samsung.

[B]

That's good.

[C]

Fuck you guys. Also, your. Your phones. Meh, Damn. Also your TV's not. Not bad actually, but fine. Yeah, not. They're fine.

[B]

Actually. Their. Their latest OLEDs. I. I feel like an ass because I bought these lgo just recently for my mixing room and then the reviews come out about the Samsung OLEDs and everyone's saying like, wow, they're basically perfect. They don't get any burn in or anything in their like, color accuracy is undeniable for the price. It's almost unbeatable. And I'm like, like, well, fuck me then.

[A]

Don't trust. Those are all the Samsungites. They're just filling it out.

[C]

Sam singers.

[A]

Oh, it's musically related. Damn it.

[B]

There you go. Wait.

[A]

Developers of no Man's Sky. You guys had one of the worst game launches of all time. And then you continued to work on your game, you continued to edit it, you had all these big updates. You just had another recent one. And your game is actually very great. I don't have time to play it right now. Could you have waited a little bit? Stop doing such a good job and making one, every other company look bad. Bad. Two, making my schedule look bad. And three, taking away from my productivity because I really just want to get in there and build a Corvette because it has like The Starfield kind of ship creator kind of thing going for it. But all the good no man's sky stuff. And I just really want to play it. But they always have to have their expeditions and their big updates at the worst possible time for me. And in my universe, I'm at the center and their timing is bad.

[B]

There you have it. I got another one, Bob, if you need more time.

[C]

Oh, I thought of one. It's beautiful out. The weather is finally in that sweet spot in Ohio where, like, it couldn't be better. It was. I was out today and it was like 73 degrees and sunny and warm in the sun, but a perfect Bree. It was like the perfect weather. And so I was like, I know what it's perfect for. I'll go get a car wash. All the people who own car washes around me were like, ah, let's just do some maintenance or some shit and close all our car washes. How did I go to three car washes and not get a single drop of water on my car?

[B]

What the fuck?

[C]

It's like the most perfect day for a car wash in the history of Ohio. And they were like, nah, we don't want money. Let's just close all of our car wash bays and fuck. Do that shit in the winter. The one. I don't do this a lot. I don't take very good care of my car and that's on me. And I am ashamed. But finally once I was like, let's treat this baby with some respect. Let's get a nice car, a touchless car wash. Let's go to the fancy ones. All closed. Fucking damn embarrassing.

[B]

They don't usually have automatic car washes here out in la, but they did open one and Amy said it's really fun, except they have an entire vacuum section in the back. And if you know anything about la, things are sandwiched really close. So it's like all the vacuum sections are right by this fence where it's residential. Immediately after that, it's like houses and apartments. So all day, those people just all day, every day because of that. But hey, it's an automatic car wash. I have. I actually do have one. I want you to know this, guys. I'm gonna let you guys decide whether this is shameworthy or not. This is from the LBC in the uk, whatever the hell that is. It's not the BBC for this year anyway. Deputy Green Party leader admits to performing hypnotherapy to enlarge women's breasts in the past.

[C]

Did it work? Wait a minute. I might be focusing on the wrong part, but did that work?

[B]

Well, I'll leave you with some quotes. He said, you know, he apologized for his past actions. Says it does not represent my work, it does not represent me. This was 11 years ago. I wasn't involved in politics at all.

[A]

You're feeling bigger breasted?

[B]

I. Look, I don't know what his technique is. I'm not sure if like they go.

[A]

Into hypnosis and he gets a big vacuum and just puts it on there and hopes to suck them out. I don't know. I'm making that Allegedly by me.

[C]

Allegedly. Sure, sure, sure.

[B]

Reveal the secrets of getting bigger breaths right here. It was 90 minute session allegedly costing 222 pounds UK sterling currency.

[A]

I was like, that's how much each breast weighed at the end. Damn, they must have worked.

[B]

God damn. Can you imagine a 222 pound boob? No. Anyway, he said he apologized. I apologize because I recognize that that can be offensive to people. But if it worked, you know, I don't know what the average cost of a breast enlargement surgery is, but £222 might be a good deal, you know.

[A]

Are you wanting to go for your breasts or your penis? Penis.

[B]

I don't want to go for anything. He doesn't run it anymore. But I'm saying the secrets are out there.

[A]

For the right price, he might.

[B]

Shame.

[A]

No.

[B]

Shame. You don't care my contributions are shit. Is that what you're saying?

[A]

That was pretty bad one. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I guess shame. But you know, also medical advancement.

[B]

I don't know, maybe I'm just surprised that they haven't figured that out yet.

[A]

If somehow it was effective, then I guess reach their own people knew what they were signing up for.

[B]

All right. More shame.

[A]

Yeah, I've got one.

[B]

Bob, do you have one? Hashtag no.

[A]

Stop.

[B]

Shut up.

[C]

Is it my turn?

[B]

Yeah, it's your turn. Bob.

[A]

Bob. You then, Bob. All right.

[B]

Did he go? He did go. Wait, he did go.

[A]

That's what I literally know. I was here. I was here for that.

[C]

I have one from nearby me. Adams County Commissioner busted for filming OnlyFans content in private helicopter. There was apparently a video put out on YouTube. Adam. Adams county near in the Cincinnati area. By the way, this is Adams County, Ohio. Apparently someone did an analysis of posts on social media by this elected official of flying their personal helicopter and it has a very distinctive green air freshener hanging in it. And then video from an only fans where the exact same air freshener appears In a helicopter that looks to be the exact same helicopter. For only fans. I don't know what the specific content is, but it's on only fans, so I presume it's not safe for work in some way or another. I don't know if it's. I don't know what it is, but anyway. Shame, shame, shame.

[B]

That is a very clear case of shame.

[A]

And how much is a subscription? Asking for a friend.

[B]

Yeah, do they have a discount or something? Like a code?

[C]

I think there's probably some kind of code somewhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm not sure.

[B]

For a friend.

[A]

Unrelated, are the little feetsies of the helicopter included in the photos? Asking for a friend.

[C]

That's extra, but you can get that.

[A]

They'Re wearing the helmet with the microphone. Asking for a friend.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's in there.

[B]

Shame. So God damn shame.

[A]

With my credit card.

[B]

Okay, I got another one. Wait, you shouldn't. Wait, no, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[A]

Trending hashtags. You ever see something like New Rock Band and you're like, oh, that's so exciting. You look and it's like not New Rock Band, just any of the misleading hashtags on any of these sites. I had one a while ago. It was trending for you and it said mark is dead. And I was like, what? I don't remember who it was, but it also. They weren't actually dead. It was just like promotion for an album or a game or something. All these misleading, like for you trending hashtags. We should do it with hashtags. Shame on hashtags for even existing. They're clickbaity bullshit.

[C]

Alright, Bob, I say shame on you, listener and or watcher for not going to the subreddit. Literally. As of this recording, posted 37 minutes ago. Joining the distractible Subreddit book club. Because book one in the distracted book club is dungeon crawler Carl, which I won't shut up about. So you better go join the thing and fucking read it so we can all talk about it on the subreddit. I'm sure that the subreddit mods will really appreciate the amount of whatever I just brought into their laps of our.

[B]

Fans going to our subreddit.

[C]

Yeah, well, they're all. They're always. You've seen the shit that those mods have to deal with. It's crazy over there. I don't know what happens on the.

[B]

Subreddit, but I want to make a declaration about the subreddit is I did it. It. I made the mods revoke that rule where you couldn't make posts about the episode the day it came out. You're welcome everybody. I'm your hero. It was a big fight. Everyone was screaming. But I said, hey, I believe in what these people can make. And yes, not a single post has been of any content or value that anyone has made since that rule got released revoked. And there have been multiple redundancies bullshit happening. But that's just the job of the moderators. I am welcome. Go to the subreddit.

[C]

Oh yeah, check out the subreddit.

[B]

Yeah. Reddit.com artist distractible I have another Shame School board in Japan fires teacher for working part time job in a convenience store and made the teacher issue an apology to children for, quote, emotional damage caused from knowing their teacher has a part time job job. Shame.

[C]

Embarrassing.

[B]

I can't believe this teacher embarrassing. Yeah. Here's the article written on Sora News 24 by Casey Bessiel. It's hard not to have a sinking feeling when you hear about a middle school teacher being reprimanded for inappropriate behavior. Was the educator involved in some sort of sexual impropriety involving a student? Or perhaps it was a case of physical abuse? Teacher taking out their frustrations on people by smacking them falling perceived disrespect? Nope. The teacher got in trouble for being a convenience working in a convenience store. And apparently this is just because there's very strict rules in Japan about this. But also I feel really bad because teacher had to issue an apology for having another job. Yeah. The next day after kids said to the principal that they saw their teacher the next the very next day, the principal of the school the man teaches at made a trip to the convenience store and confirmed with his own eyes that the teacher was working there and confronted him about the matter. How dare you, you piece of.

[C]

And also my my student will not be sharing classroom supplies with the other students, you socialist. Hang on, I'm choking on my own tongue.

[B]

Anyway, all right. Shame on whoever deserves him.

[A]

Wade that makes me think about all the people that just aren't content with where they end up with in the social hierarchy by birthright and are trying to better themselves. Shame. Working multiple jobs. Why don't you just accept your lot in life? Don't try to improve yourself or those around you. Accept where you are. Shame on you for wanting any more.

[B]

So are you saying shame on both the poors for trying to get out of the poor place where we've des we us three have designated them to be. And also shame on the riches for even daining the other areas with their presence. They should stay up there. We should stay up here. Us three. Us. And then the pores should stay down there. No intermingling.

[A]

I almost made a joke that I think I would have very much regretted. So I didn't say it.

[B]

Go for it.

[C]

Hit it man.

[B]

Put your heart into it.

[A]

We should all be separate. But inequal.

[B]

Couldn't have said it worse myself.

[A]

I'd like to shame me.

[B]

Bob, you got a. You got a clear obvious one here.

[C]

It looks like Wade already is feeling the appropriate amount amount of shame for that thing you just said out loud.

[A]

I really am. Yeah.

[C]

Mark should get some splash off shame for basically forcing you to say it. So thank you. It's not just you.

[A]

I didn't feel host peer pressure there. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Minus half a point for shame on me, but full point for shame on Wade. You almost got that full bonus point, but not quite. All right, now go your real one.

[C]

Speaking of what Mark was talking about and not what Wade was talking about, school. You know who's a student now and we all haven't thought about nearly enough in recent history. Emma Watson. That's right. Hermione Granger is pursuing a PhD at Oxford University. Oxford College. Oxford University. But the shame does not belong to Emma Watson. Despite being a coxswain for the new third women's college rowing team at Oxford. Yes, Emma Watson is a coxswain. No, it's not dirty. Yes, you should definitely google that and see if you get close on the spelling. The entity that should feel shame is the High Wycombe Magistrates Court of Oxford, England. Emma Watson got busted for going 38 miles an hour in a 30 mile per hour zone. And that court suspended her license for six months.

[B]

That demon behind the wheels was driving.

[C]

She basically murdered every child a three mile radius by going eight miles an hour over the limit.

[A]

Do you know what NFL players get for going like 50 miles over a $200 fine?

[C]

I'm just going to casually not mention that Emma Watson somehow already had nine points on her license, which I don't know what she does. But also, funny story, the reason this court should feel extra shame, the actress who played Madam Hooch in the Harry Potter movies, Zoe Wanamaker. Also on the same day in that exact same court, High Wycombe Magistrates Court, because she had nine points on her license, got banned from driving for six months on the same day for the same thing that Emma Watson did because she got a speeding ticket.

[A]

So they had like a cast reunion at the Courthouse?

[C]

Yeah, no, I was unrelated. I don't even know if they knew that each other was there. But this court is targeting actors from popular movies of the last decade and a half and I won't stand for it. That's, that's shameful is what that is.

[B]

Okay, so what her previous offenses were, were also for speeding. And in the UK it's much stricter in, in America. I don't know about you guys, but I've heard this nine is fine, which is crazy to think about. If nine over is fine, 10, you're mine. I've heard that from.

[C]

Dude, in California it's like if you're under a whatever, I swear to God. On certain highways. In California it was. I was doing like 85 and a 70 and I was like, I was like holy fuck, I'm going to die because everyone else is going like 95 miles an hour.

[B]

I've been in that same situation where it's like I'm going with the flow of traffic. And in America they have that kind of rule where you should match the flow of traffic, whatever the flow of traffic is. Because going too slow is also dangerous and people need to fucking realize it. Especially when you're merging. There's a reason your gas can go. You know, you gotta.

[C]

You shame. Shame on slow mergers.

[B]

Yes, shame on slow mergers. I'm gonna give everyone a point for that. Shame on slow mergers though.

[A]

Literally, I think if you go like 40 or 50 over, it's like a $200 fine. If you go over 15, technically, can't it be like a felony? It's like it's worse to be 15 over.

[C]

It can become reckless endangerment or something. It become like a felony. But they have to choose to enforce that and they all often don't in is what I've heard.

[B]

But actually Ohio is the highest for speeding tickets. They, they give the most of, of any other state.

[A]

I believe that is it North Carolina where they had the thing where they'll give you a ticket, especially people that have out of town license plates, they'll send you a thing in the mail where you have to make an in person appearance or hire an in state lawyer to represent you and the whole thing feels like a racket.

[C]

I don't believe North Carolina is the only place that does that. But yes, that is the thing.

[B]

Fair enough. But the only place I've gotten a speeding ticket was Indiana, so. But had three other speeding tickets before and it's by the fourth one is.

[C]

An automatic and she suspended license for six Months on your fourth speedy ticket, regardless of how minor the offense is.

[B]

Yes. And because there's, like, anything over and. And admittedly, I've accidentally gone 38 or something in a 30 before. We don't usually have 30s. Usually it's 25, 35. But I've accidentally, like, turned a corner down a hill. Suddenly I'm, like, going 42 and a 35. Oh, good.

[A]

We've all accidentally sped before. Right.

[C]

I accidentally hit 10 to 15 over on a regular basis on. In Cincinnati, there's tons of, like, pretty big downhills and stuff. If you're just coasting, not paying attention on a downhill and you. Were you already going. I usually go five, seven, maybe eight over is like, my normal range that I push. If you're already going that fast and you're coasting down a huge hill for a mile and a half, easily push it to, like. Like 20 over if you don't pay attention and tap the brakes or something.

[A]

Like, I swear, 471 has a time of day I. 471. Where the average speed is like, 85.

[C]

Oh, God. 470. That bridge. That bridge over by Newport is terrifying because the speed limit's like, 55, and the traffic has never, ever gone 55. That I've ever seen it in the decades I've been driving in this part of the state.

[A]

No, that is like NASCAR drivers only.

[B]

Every time I've gone to the airport down 71, you know where it goes through city. There those tunnels were. It's just flashing light.

[C]

Like, slow down, slow down, slow down.

[B]

Like all the. And then every time I go there, someone next to me passes me, has to slam on the rakes, and I'm like. I see the skid marks on the walls from where people. Just like that NASCAR driver just.

[C]

I'm going to hit it. Use the wall.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, man. It's the same on 75 as you get down by the city. The speed limit's 55, but if you're going anything less than. Than, like, 65, 70, people will get up behind you and be like. Like, you're. Like you're under the speed limit. It's like, dude, I am going 10 over right now. Holy shit.

[B]

Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah. So shame on speedsters and the people.

[A]

That will tailgate when there's no one left or right that could just go around.

[C]

So much shame. Also, Emma Watson should be embarrassed because she's getting a PhD in philosophy, and that's just embarrassing.

[A]

Well, hold on. No, hold on. I'll get her.

[B]

That is embarrassing.

[A]

Hold on, hold on. Ph.D. philosophy.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you a point for that. I'll give you a point for that. Shame on philosophy. Okay, wait. You want shame on philosophy? Point. No, I'm giving you one. I'm giving you one.

[A]

No, I refuse it. No. I want negative on. I endorse philosophy.

[B]

You'll have to flip a coin for that to work. All right, I'm forcing this on you.

[A]

All right. Heads, I'm right. Tails. You're wrong.

[B]

No, he didn't call it.

[A]

Oh, you're wrong, buddy. You're wrong.

[B]

P H, I, L, O, S O.

[A]

P. I refuse this point. I protest this point.

[C]

Philosophically speaking. You can't do that.

[A]

That's unfair.

[B]

There it is. All right, you said unfair.

[A]

Where is chica?

[B]

All right, I got a. I got a box here. That's what I'll do. I'll get this box. It's pretty uniform.

[A]

Boxes are designed to be flipped. Have you ever seen an Amazon delivery driver?

[C]

Boxes are just thick coins waiting to be flipped.

[B]

All right, so it's a. It's a Thunderbolt cable box. This is heads, tails.

[A]

What if it lands on its side?

[B]

We've always had that rule. And I don't remember what the answer was, but we have a rule for that.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Here we go. Heads.

[A]

Heads.

[B]

Heads. Whoa. What the fuck?

[A]

I win.

[B]

You don't get a point for that, Wade. Wow. All right, no point for Wade.

[C]

Wait, so does that mean Wade loses a point for endorsing philosophy? Is that what that means? Because that must be made.

[B]

I won't subtract a point. That would be doubly unfair. I'll just not give him a point. But I'm scratching it out. But, yeah, good job, Wade. You defended philosophy.

[A]

Worth it.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by McDonald's new special edition Gold Sauce. There's nothing like the anticipation of when you know There's a new McDonald's sauce and you're waiting to get the chance to try it. There's Special Edition Gold Sauce is sweet, smoky, tangy, made to go on chicken. You have to go try it. New Special Edition gold sauce at McDonald's is made for your chicken favorites. It says gold as it gets at McDonald's for a limited time. All right, I'm gonna go get some right now. I'm out of here. Going to get McDonald's.

[B]

I'll be back.

[C]

I'll come back.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu Boys. An all new Season of Futurama's back.

[C]

Ah, they're back. I love this show. It's a great show. I'm excited for another season.

[B]

Anyway, the Planet Express crew is back defying gravity and common sense from the creator of The Simpsons. Come 10 new episodes where the romance is hotter, the threats are bigger, and the action is harder.

[C]

Don't miss the all new season of Futurama. Watch it Mondays on FXX or stream it on Hulu.

[B]

I think that has to end it there because my AirPods just gave me the sound that doo doo doo where they're about to run out of shade. Yeah, shame on the battery life of these stupid things.

[C]

I think I was just in a. In a bad brain space for this type of thing. I. I didn't want to shame anyone when we started, but then Wade really got me heated up and then I felt like if I found a groove. Wade, you always turned me on comedically.

[A]

It might be the last time after some of the things I said. This episode I might be replaced.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe. But we won't know until we know the answers because it's a very close game. An extremely close game. Game. Wade, you have nine points. Bob.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Chica just farted. Bob, you have nine and a half points.

[C]

All right, that's enough.

[B]

It could be anybody's, but unless a half point comes up, I am safe from the tiewheel. Thank goodness for that.

[C]

Good thing there's some half point ones and those would never come up.

[A]

We also have an automatic host wins. Is there.

[C]

There is one. That's just the host wins.

[B]

Oh, man. The people really want the perfectest crime. I have no word on it.

[A]

No, it's bad making.

[C]

If we tie and we get the one man show, our assignment will just be do that episode.

[B]

All right.

[C]

How many bonus points? That's the question. And the wheel will tell us the answer.

[B]

Antico. Why are you farting so much, girl?

[A]

Oh, three chances.

[C]

What are you adding to the wheel, sir?

[B]

Let's say add two spins.

[C]

I like that. Add two spins.

[B]

Yeah. So it has to be another one because if we would just add one, it would just be a re spin, basically. So it add two. Yeah.

[C]

All right, I'm gonna shuffle that in. And we got three spins coming. Hi ya. And so on.

[B]

Loudest. Wade, you were pretty loud, but I don't know if you were any louder than usual.

[A]

Was either of us loud?

[C]

I didn't notice like a particularly loud.

[B]

Moment, but yeah, nothing jumps out. Respin that one all.

[C]

It was one away from the host wins.

[B]

Oh, man, I don't like that one. Why? Who put that one? Least amount of sleep since last episode. I slept great. How'd you guys sleep?

[C]

I've actually added a new medicine and have been sleeping just awful. Like 4ish. 4 to 4 and a half hours a night of sleep.

[A]

I've not been that bad. I've been really good the last three days. I had some rough sleep last week. I don't think I would say I've averaged four hours.

[B]

That's.

[C]

Yeah, it's been not great.

[B]

All right, well, least sleep point goes to Bob. He's at 10 and a half now.

[C]

All right, here's spin number two. Come on, host.

[B]

I don't want it. I don't want that.

[A]

Why are we both hoping for that?

[C]

I don't know, honestly. I think this because Mark doesn't want it.

[B]

Most locked in. Wade, you won the coin toss. You knew your topics. You knew your shame.

[C]

I surrendered at the beginning of the episode.

[A]

Yeah, he did. I got to get that one right.

[B]

Got to give this to Wade. You got most locked in. All right. It's still one point away.

[A]

Host wins.

[C]

Really? Bullet for host wins for some reason. Cuz I hate Mark, I guess.

[B]

Oh my God.

[C]

Oh, I swear there's. I can't manipulate this. I swear to God.

[B]

It hung on the one to the left of me was like, oh, I'm stopped.

[C]

I know, I know.

[B]

You mother.

[A]

Motherfucker.

[B]

How is that possible?

[C]

That's so desperately unlikely.

[A]

We've had some crazy endings lately on this.

[C]

We have. That's a 1 in 67 poll on that.

[B]

It is definitely my season. I am definitely winning. I'm winning this season. But it's like, all right, I'll come up with the most perfect describe.

[C]

Yeah, I think the universe is basically commanding you to do that episode. You're not busy, are you?

[B]

Yeah, I know, right? Three hours special. Oh, all right. I'll get it, guys. I'll get it. You both are giving loser speech today. So if this is a sponsored one, the sponsor won big time on this episode's loser speech.

[A]

Today's loser speech is presented by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. Everything moves fast these days and T Mobile Home Internet keeps up with their fast speeds, quick, quick setup and budget friendly prices. They make it easy to stay connected, giving you the peace of mind you deserve. You know, it was a hard fought episode. I even won a coin flip that took a potential tie or went away from me. Before the wheel spins happened. Destiny, my own will fade itself. God and his Carpal tunnel giving bullshit. They all deemed that I was meant to lose. And you know what? I accept.

[B]

Bob, your loss. Chris. You were going to win. You didn't.

[C]

I listen. If anything, I feel like I somehow won even Big Lear, because clearly Wade and I were both trying desperately to lose this episode. At the end of it all, when I was totally up for grabs, neither of us could have won. We were both rooting for the one chance that we had to make Mark win. For some reason, at the beginning of the episode, I. Mark declared a topic and I said, I have nothing. Wade's turn. And I was actively throwing. I feel like I got exactly what I was trying to get. I just don't know why. That's what I was trying to manifest into the universe. Now I feel kind of bad.

[A]

I don't.

[C]

I just really like losing. I think I'm getting a taste for it. You know, I hope we go lower on the podcast charts because I don't feel anything better for me.

[A]

To get back up into the top.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

Speech over.

[A]

Lose your speech over balls too. And whatever it takes. Top 10. Today's loser speech was presented by T Mobile's 5G Home Internet. So if you're looking for Internet that keeps up with you, connect to T Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15 minute setup and 5 year price guarantee. Stay connected in a world that never slows down. Visit t mobile.com home Internet to check availability.

[B]

We all have had our fun, but I think we can all agree that we have the only original podcast on this entire chart. At least we can say that every other podcast is just a rehash of the same thing. It's either three dudes talking or it's three girls talking or it's like some crime thing or they're reading Reddit stories. We. We have a game show involved and that's what sets us apart. We are original. We are great. I'm a winner. And therefore we're all a winner. Except you're not answering. Just me. Thank you. Me for letting me win. I did this all through my own skill. And I'll say, I think I contributed more shame articles than you guys did anyway, so I think I deserve it.

[A]

Win. Why are you barricaded in a closet?

[B]

I'm not in a closet. Just because there's no windows in here doesn't make it a closet.

[C]

He's hiding in his secret place. Don't call him out.

[B]

Thank you everybody for launching us into the stratosphere. Up the charts. I know that it's a delayed reaction from when that episode came out. But you guys are pounding the pavement. You're sharing those clips. You're spreading the word. You're getting the funny out. Every drop of fun. Every drop of funny. Don't make fun of me.

[A]

Every drab of any.

[B]

I'm Markiplier. That's my scream. That's Lordminion777. None of us regret our user's name. And we definitely don't regret the name of this podcast. Say it with me. Everybody at home, chant it with fists in the air. I don't care if you're on the road or whatever. Two fists up. Like that guy from Prometheus when, before he rammed his ship into the alien ship. What did he say?

[C]

Actually, I haven't seen that.

[B]

He went, yeah. So everybody go, oh, the name of the podcast. Destructible.

[A]

Up yours. But that's what the guy says that Rams is playing into the alien ship on.

[B]

No, he said, I'm back.

[A]

He does. But then he also says, up yours. He says both.

[C]

Which does he say more of?

[A]

He says that, but at one point he's like, in the words of my generation, up yours.

[B]

Oh, I guess does. Anyway, bye. Podcast out your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on.

[C]

Time, but when they arrive, you notice.

[B]

An individual confidence in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. New Teen the new fragrance by Miu Miu, defined by you.