Distractible – “Snow Days”

Release Date: January 30, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

Episode Overview

In this wintry episode, the Distractible trio—Mark, Wade, and Bob—swap memorable (and questionable) snow day stories, debate nostalgia versus discomfort of snowy weather, and share hilarious asides about childhood, adulthood, and internet culture. The episode drifts between childhood snow forts and sledding disasters, tangents about haircuts and gaming obsessions, and lampoons on ads, YouTube trends, and the upcoming “Iron Lung” movie. Everything unfolds in the group’s signature chaotic, self-deprecating style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Boredom and the Pursuit of Entertainment

• [02:19–05:38]
  • Mark laments his current boredom, joking about achieving all his goals and needing new “rectangles” (devices) to distract himself.
  • Wade recommends gadgets and stands for tablets while Bob suggests hands-free options, launching into a comedic bit about smart glasses and projecting images into retinas.
  • Mark playfully riffs: “This is a sex phone line. Hey, can you rub the phone on your legs? Wanna hear how long they are.” (03:32)
  • Bob sets the tone: “I give points...it’s arbitrary. Let’s not pretend. I know. We have rules. We have a constitution. It’s arbitrary.” (03:46)

2. Wade Gets Sucked Back Into Gaming

• [06:12–08:54]
  • Wade enthusiastically recounts how a friend “sucked [him] back in” to gacha games via the newly released “Arknights Endfield,” lauding its factory-building mechanics, trading system, and surprising depth for a mobile game.
  • “...this one, I feel—I don’t know if you guys played the Genshin type games...but [Endfield] doesn’t have the stupid little annoying sidekick who speaks for you, which I definitely appreciate.” (07:08, Wade)
  • Discusses monetization: not strictly pay-to-win, most purchases are character- or weapon-related.
  • Mark laughs about seeing an ad for the game moments after Wade mentions it, sparking a debate about the eeriness of targeted advertising: “The simulation's forgetting what it should and should not know. I can't tell the difference between thinking things and saying them out loud.” (09:33, Bob)

3. Existential Banter: The Matrix & Simulation Theory

• [09:14–12:14]
  • The trio riff on simulation theory, referencing “The Matrix,” debating which of them is an agent or NPC.
  • Mark and Wade spiral into a “masochist Agent Smith” riff: “Mr. Anderson, I am not a masochist.” (11:20, Wade)
  • Bob shares a fun fact about the actor who played the steak-loving traitor not actually liking steak.
  • Mark jokes about ways to “test” if he's real, alluding to Blade Runner replicant testing.

4. Snow Days—Nostalgia & Legendary Childhood Moments

• [15:00–39:07]
  • Bob’s Legendary Snow Fort:
    • Plows dumped enough snow to build a fort that fit 4–5 kids.
    • “I still remember what it felt like sitting inside that thing...it turns it into, like, an icy crust. It's a whole—I remember how it felt, what it looked like, what it tasted like. What it tasted like. Yeah. Don't mind that.” (17:13–18:10, Bob)
  • Mark’s Radio Memory:
    • Questions whether he really remembers huddling around a radio for snow day announcements, or if it’s a manufactured memory.
    • “Me and my brother, I remember us being huddled around a radio, listening for broadcasts. But there’s no way that’s true.” (18:20)
    • Leads to jokes about replicants and implanted memories.
  • Wade’s Snow Army Battles:
    • Built a snow fort (no roof) with high walls to “play army,” running around in army surplus fatigues, capturing each other, and having epic battles across neighboring yards.
    • “Our version of army was basically like, you see someone, you’re like, got you; like, No, I got you first. And you’d argue...” (26:14)
    • Remembers a super-dedicated friend who’d bury himself in leaves or hide under cars.
  • Sledding Disasters:
    • Bob tells of sledding down an icy driveway, face-planting and skinning his nose. “I slid down his whole driveway, I think exclusively on my nose.” (29:00, Bob)
    • Mark remembers sledding with a wagon on a neighbor’s hill, always feeling guilty about “trespassing” even though no one yelled at them. “I never really had fun. So I’d always tell my brother, we need to leave. We gotta go. We’re gonna get in trouble. We’re gonna die.” (30:00–31:00, Mark)
    • Wade admits he built a “tree fort” with sticks in a neighbor's yard, getting yelled at: “Treehouse is a strong word. We brought a bunch of sticks and limbs into the...line of pine trees, because they wanted their privacy. We were like, nah, this is for our tree fort.” (31:08–31:56)

5. Snow Day Logistics & “Adulting”

• [41:41–43:20]
  • Bob and Wade discuss how snow days are way harder as adults and for parents—shoveling, keeping kids busy indoors, and still having to work remotely or in person.
  • Mark: “Some parents have real jobs and they gotta go to work, you know?” (42:11)
  • On reflecting: “It’s so much less fun...trying to make space for the dogs to go take a shit, trying to figure out how we're leaving the driveway. It's just not as fun. I imagine, being a parent, stressful. Snow as a kid, best thing ever. I want to go back. I want to go back. Sad.” (47:06, Wade)

6. Tangents: Iron Lung Movie, YouTube Culture, & Product Placement Satire

• [12:14–15:13], [39:54–41:41]
  • Mark mentions “Iron Lung” premiere and riffs about putting his YouTube Let’s Play in a random theater.
    • “I can’t believe they just let me put my let’s play of Iron Lung in theaters like that.” (12:30, Mark)
  • Satirizes heavy-handed product placement in movies: “Mr. Anderson, I know I can take it because I’m brought to you by Muscle Milk, today’s sponsor.” (14:28, Mark)
  • Engage in meta-commentary on YouTube Shorts and AI-generated content: “YouTube will soon let creators make shorts with their own AI likeness.” (39:56, Wade)

7. Scoring, Running Gags, and Points

• [43:20–47:44]
  • Bob arbitrarily assigns points:
    • Mark wins for “sounding short,” being bored, illegal sledding, and “radio hallucinations.”
    • Wade gets points for bailing on a joke, introducing Arknights Endfield, “psychopath alarm,” snow army games, and pine tree fort infractions.
    • Running jokes about “slutting” versus “sledding,” and self-deprecating debates about who was the most panicky kid.
  • Mark is crowned as the winner, jokingly “the guy who lives in a place that never gets snow won the Snow Day episode.” (47:26)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mark (on growing up panicked):

  • “I was a panicky kid, too. I was always like, oh, we can't be here. We gotta go sneak out.” (33:21)

• Bob (on school cancellations):

  • “...sitting and staring at the news and not even registering what the news people were saying and just being like, huh, huh, it’ll come around again. Maybe the next time.” (20:06)

• Wade (nostalgically):

  • “Even I was used to getting up early. So there were times where you’d wake up, like, go to see if you have a snow day...But I don't want to waste my snow day. I've got all day for this snow day.” (21:10)

• Bob (on sliding face-first):

  • “And I tried to do the old hold your sled up on your chest, run, jump...the sled stuck to the ice and pulled my chest backwards and my face down. And I slid down his whole driveway, I think exclusively on my nose...” (29:00)

• Mark (about Iron Lung movie ratings):

  • “I just got got because the UK film rating came out and I was like, oh...strong language, bloody images, threat. YouTubers. Mild peril. Blood, claustrophobia, loud noises...” (13:34)

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 02:19–05:38 | Opening banter, boredom, gadgets, rules setup | | 06:12–08:54 | Wade’s dive into Arknights Endfield | | 09:14–12:14 | Matrix & simulation banter, Agent Smith riff | | 15:00–18:18 | Bob’s legendary front yard snow fort | | 18:20–19:46 | Mark’s “radio” snow day memory | | 26:14–28:23 | Wade’s Army snow fort and friend’s extreme hiding | | 29:00–30:00 | Bob’s sledding injury (“exclusively on my nose”) | | 31:08–31:56 | Wade’s neighbor tree fort misadventure | | 41:41–43:20 | Modern adult snow days (parent pains, shoveling) | | 43:20–47:44 | Points, running jokes, and wrap-up reflections |

Tone & Style

• The episode swings between nostalgia, gentle ribbing, and meta-commentary; the trio deploy sarcasm, self-satire, and heartfelt recollection.
• Signature “Distractible” tangents abound—pop culture, internet humor, childhood anxieties, and gaming obsessions.
• The hosts poke fun at themselves and each other with good-natured teasing and absurd what-if scenarios.

Final Thoughts

This “Snow Days” episode is a blizzard of nostalgic childhood memories, relatable adult woes, and Distractible’s off-the-wall humor. Mark, Wade, and Bob manage to unearth the perils and joys of wintry weather, all while tangling with existential detours, pop culture satire, and the perpetual quest for distraction—be it snow forts, gacha games, or just another arbitrary round of points. Despite (or because of) the tangents, the result is both hilarious and warming—at least for those listening from the comfort of somewhere warm.