The Council Of Distractible (Part 3)

Summary

Distractible — "The Council Of Distractible (Part 3)"

Release Date: May 18, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

This special episode of Distractible—celebrating five years of the podcast—features Mark, Wade, and Bob convening their “Council” to reflect on the show’s unique journey, evaluate their evolving "Constitution," and hatch new interactive systems for the next era of Distractible. Through their classic blend of playful antagonism, genuine friendship, and meta-rulemaking, they reexamine the show’s inner workings, propose wild amendments, and introduce bounties and audience participation. The tone oscillates between deadpan comedy and earnest brainstorming, all the while poking fun at bureaucracy, podcasting conventions, and each other.

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Section Summaries & Key Moments

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1. Kicking Off the 5th Anniversary (01:27-04:03)

• Celebration: The hosts mark five years of Distractible, acknowledging Bob and Wade’s themed shirts (even as Mark isn't wearing his).
• Tone Setting: Wade jokes about his lack of productivity (“me doing nothing, which is what we do even whenever I'm not the host.” – 02:20).
• Small Talk Launches: Mark, Bob, and Wade each provide life updates—however, the tone quickly shifts as Bob relays some personal stress.

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2. Life Updates & Personal Anecdotes (04:03–14:34)

• Bob’s Tough Times (04:03–06:14)

  • Bob, in self-deprecating style, shares that his life is "falling apart" (04:07).
  • He shares a positive—his rescue dog Sandy is scheduled for a leg consultation, and the hosts riff affectionately about her resilience.

• Mark & the DIY Power Wheels Jeep (09:09–11:41)

  • Mark tells the story of rescuing a Power Wheels toy for his son, James, fixing it up with a new battery, and basking in “best dad ever” moments.
  • “God damn it. I'm the best dad that's ever lived.” – Mark (10:30)
  • James' joy becomes an ongoing joke about kids’ repetitive excitement.

• Film Industry Frustrations (07:45–08:12)

  • Bob shares cynical insights about the backwardness of modern movie release logistics via spreadsheets—“all the computers shoved over into the AI corner, all the compute's reserved for all that. And we're...left with spreadshee and diagrams and bones that we got to roll around.” (07:50)

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3. Pop Culture Tangents & Classic Bits (12:07–15:14)

• Jim Carrey & Sonic Tangent

  • Discussion veers into Jim Carrey’s career, his reported retirements, and dance scenes from Sonic movies.
  • “That man could dance. Plus, that song slaps. It’s all good. It’s a good thing.” – Mark (12:34)

• Distractible’s Overlapping Audiences Myth

  • They riff on the notion that Mark’s audience supposedly never overlaps with Distractible, with layered, self-aware banter.

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4. Reddit, the Constitution, and Meta-Rulemaking (15:32–24:13)

• A Listener Posts the ‘Distractible Constitution’ (15:32–17:09)

  • Shoutout to Reddit user TheaterMom2016 for writing out the show's ever-growing list of rules and amendments.
  • The hosts debate reading it aloud—Wade reveals it’s 10 pages, double-columned (“Why is it written double columned like this? This is weird.” – Bob, 16:44).

• Debate: How Should Rules be Changed?

  • Mark proposes deleting rules from the Wheel if they can’t remember them (“If we land on something and we can't remember what it is, delete it.” – Mark, 18:54)
  • They joke about bypassing sincerity/lie detector tests to avoid forced honesty in remembering.
  • Lively discussion on how to amend their internal system, whether by consensus, coin flips, or new veto powers.
  • “Our Constitution could just be that sentence...‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.’” – Mark (24:54)

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5. Constitutional Chaos & Amendments (24:13–38:00)

• "Living Document" Philosophy

  • Mark encourages instant, dynamic amendment powers (“It should be a living, breathing document.” – 23:52)
  • The crew brainstorms whimsical systems for rule changes—a wheel with names, season-based amendment quotas, and ‘sports challenge’ style.
  • Discussion about majority vs. unanimous votes and the power of “the host.”

• Adding vs. Deleting Rules

  • Caution that two hosts shouldn’t gang up on the third for outrageous amendments.
  • Ongoing riff about congressional systems and “super PACs” with mock-political names (e.g., “My super PAC is gonna be called Markiplier4 Distractible.” – Mark, 28:57).

• Amendment Streamlining

  • They agree hosts can initiate deletions via a wheel-spin, with specific odds per vote.
  • Instant Constitutional changes require host initiation and wheel consensus.

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6. Injuries, Detours & Self-Referential Humor (32:03–36:31)

• Bob’s Boo Boo

  • Bob laments a finger injury (“I cut my finger on a knife.” – 32:10), launching a detour into wound care and medical pseudoscience.
  • Mark and Wade riff about medical journals, healing tips, and pig bladder-based regeneration ("I can't believe this happened to Mark." – Wade, 33:39).

• Meta-Distraction

  • The hosts debate whether being distracted should be explicitly incentivized (“It's the name of our podcast…we need, like, tax incentives for more distractions.” – Bob, 34:28).
  • Tangents about Taskmaster and live show spinoffs.

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7. Introducing Bounties & Interactive Competition (36:46–53:03)

• Bounty Board Creation

  • Mark proposes a “bounty board”: at the start of each season, a list of challenges/missions is posted (37:19–38:10).
  • Submissions can win big points or hijack an episode if completed and documented.
  • “If you do one of these missions, film it, bring it in as a bit, we play it on the show. Hijacked.” – Mark (37:19)
  • Agreement that completed bounties should net 5 points—a significant potential swing (46:10).

• Brain Scan Bounty

  • Bob suggests Wade get some kind of brain scan and record the process (39:15).
  • “Maybe I just need to go to therapy and record my sessions.” – Wade (40:03)

• Audience Participation Bounties

  • They brainstorm fan-interaction bounties—e.g., get recognized in public, record a coin flip for a win, and rules for fair claim.
  • Discussion on technical allowances and recording authenticity.

• Optional Participation

  • Wade repeatedly emphasizes his reluctance to do extra work: “I'm very lazy and I will only sporadically want to do them.” (48:01)
  • Mark and Bob tease Wade about evading even the simplest tasks.

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8. Constitutional Audience Budget & Democratic Mayhem (53:15–62:15)

• Subreddit as ‘Congress’

  • Bob proposes allocating a “discretionary budget” controlled by the community for content (e.g., $200 per host/month), sparking debate and legalistic rule-crafting.
  • “I think we should allocate, like, 500 bucks a month to the discretionary concepting and idea budget that they get to...make us spend.” – Bob (56:18)
  • Legalese: Items bought must “improve or be for content,” and “must be filmable without undue burden.”

• Subreddit vs. Discord

  • They jokingly debate where this budget system will be managed (Reddit vs. Discord), encouraging fans to self-organize.

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9. Season Structure, Prizes, and Podcaster Stats (63:12–67:05)

• Scoring & Winners

  • Wade calculates points, but the crew agrees they don’t count during constitutional episodes.
  • “They don't mean anything, but you could say them if you like them.” – Mark (63:12)
  • Discussion on who’s winning by the numbers. Subreddit members like Far Writer 6592 are saluted for meticulously tracking victories, hosting stats, and wheel spin outcomes.

• Trophy Talk

  • Talk of awarding an actual trophy emerges, potentially as a future budget target ("Maybe the congressional budget will go towards getting us a goddamn trophy." – Bob, 67:40).

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10. Final Reflections and Anniversary Sign-off (68:19–End)

• Audience & Podcaster Camaraderie
  • The crew reflects on the season stats, congratulates one another, and laughs about future hauntings and shaming rituals (for losing immortality or dying).
  • “At my funeral, I expect you two to come busting in a stadium full of weeping mourners...‘He's off the show. He's out!’” – Mark (68:53)
  • Expressing thanks for five years, the hosts close by plugging their social accounts and encouraging engagement on podcast platforms, Reddit, and Discord.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mark on small victories in parenting:
  “God damn it. I’m the best dad that's ever lived.” (10:30)

• Meta-podcast philosophy:
  “Our Constitution could just be that sentence...‘We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.’” – Mark (24:54)

• Rule Amending Logic:
  "If we land on something and we can't remember what it is, delete it." – Mark (18:54)

• On Audience Honesty:
  "They wouldn't do me like that." – Bob (14:34, referring to audience integrity on film releases)

• Anniversary Humor:
  “So congrats to us for five years. We’ve done it. We’ve made episodes. We've stuck with it for five years.” – Wade (69:19)

• Darkly Comic Threat:
  “If you don’t do it, I’ll haunt your dicks.” – Mark (69:00)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:27 — Show intro and 5th anniversary context
• 06:14 — Story of Mark restoring James’ Power Wheels
• 08:10 — Bob’s inside scoop on movie release bureaucracy
• 15:32 — Reddit user compiles Distractible Constitution
• 18:54 — Proposal: If a wheel spin prize is forgotten, delete it
• 24:54 — “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it” becomes an unofficial maxim
• 37:19 — Introduction of the Bounty Board system and point structure
• 39:15 — The ‘Wade Brain Scan’ bounty suggestion
• 53:15 — Audience discretionary budget idea
• 63:12 — Points recapped (but declared moot)
• 67:40 — Talk of creating a physical trophy
• 68:53 — Mark’s joke about being booted off the show post-mortem
• 69:19 — Hosts congratulate themselves/the audience on five years

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Key Takeaways

• The show remains a self-aware, meta-commentary on podcasting and friend-group chaos.
• Season 5 kicks off with new community engagement via a subreddit/Discord budget and bounties.
• Distractible rules are fluid—subject to whimsy, coin flips, and communal consensus.
• Audience participation will be more central, with systems for community-suggested challenges.
• Anniversary was celebrated the only way they know how: arguing, riffing, and building more chaos into next season’s DNA.

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Closing Thoughts

If you’ve ever wondered how a successful, off-the-rails podcast self-governs, self-destructs, and sets the table for ongoing comedy and creativity, this was a perfect encapsulation. Five years in, Distractible is as distractible—and ambitious—as ever.

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Transcript

[Wade]

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[Bob]

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[Wade]

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[Mark]

This Memorial Day get low prices guaranteed

[Bob]

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[Wade]

priced invalid May 14 through May 27 US only exclusion supplies.

[Mark]

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[Bob]

Good evening gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Distractable this fifth birthday episode. War Headed Wade refuses reporting his sex life and violates amendments. Burping Bob buys James a Jeep, raises Robotnik thinks of the future and proposes splashing the cash man for Mark's puppy goes Sideborg. He he struggles with sheet fucks changers and wants bounty hunting from trapped gases to phallus Poltergeisting. Yes, it's time for the Council of Distractable Part three. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[Wade]

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Distractable. It's been so long since I've hosted I forgot the name of our show. Here I am in the rightful seat at the rightful time to give you all Mark and Bob doing stuff and me doing nothing, which is what we do even whenever I'm not the host. How are you?

[Bob]

I'm about to burp.

[Wade]

Didn't know what you were about to do.

[Bob]

It's stuck. It's literally stuck. It's stuck.

[Mark]

I burped before we started.

[Wade]

Oh man.

[Bob]

It's stuck right here. Look at My shirt. It's not the distractible one. It's a bunch of bears getting blown up.

[Mark]

You know what helps if you get a burp stuck though? Do you know the technique?

[Bob]

What's that?

[Mark]

You need to put your elbows in against your ribs. Not like hard, but just like in. And then ghost tilt side to side because it like squishes your.

[Wade]

Are you just making him show off his boobs?

[Mark]

No, no, no.

[Wade]

Oh, okay.

[Mark]

It like shimmies the gas around and then you gotta. You gotta get it out. It's like a baby. Gotta work it out.

[Bob]

It's not coming out. My sphincters are too strong. No one's got sphincter strength like me.

[Mark]

Maybe need to Heimlich it out. Can you self Heimlich?

[Bob]

I could, but I won't do it on camera.

[Mark]

How high can you climb?

[Bob]

I don't wanna. I don't wanna. I'm a burst.

[Mark]

Well, I guess you'll just have to be an adult.

[Wade]

Exciting announcement this episode, I believe, if I did my math correctly, which I oftentimes do not, should, should come out one day after our five year anniversary of distractable. Hence the shirts Bob and I are wearing.

[Mark]

Hear, hear.

[Bob]

Editors transform Guam into a shirt. Look at all this shirt.

[Mark]

My eyes.

[Wade]

Yeah, that doesn't mean we're gonna do anything any differently. We're still gonna do things the normal way. Which means we start with small talk. Woo. Small talk. Yeah. Anything new?

[Bob]

Yes. Many, many things. Many things are new.

[Wade]

Any of them good?

[Bob]

No. My life is fucking falling apart.

[Wade]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

[Bob]

I didn't. Oh man,

[Wade]

what have I done?

[Bob]

Oh, fuck. I hope this isn't another bad email. Oh, God. It's not locked. It. Doesn't your phone ever do that where it's like, I don't like your face anymore. I'm not opening for you.

[Mark]

Oh, all the time I hold it up, not perfectly vertically and it's like sideways. Yeah, you look different.

[Wade]

I don't know if our phones ever go through and, like, adjust to our aging process, but like, my phone over the years has had to take me from looking like that to that to this. So I don't know how my phone even knows who I am. Could any bald guy just get into my phone?

[Bob]

Probably actually.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Yeah. Like, how does it know I'm me? Still science.

[Bob]

I'll get into my. I just actually got. That was a good text. It's from Amy saying that Sandy's leg appointment has been scheduled for her new life.

[Wade]

Leg Nice.

[Bob]

That's not how that works.

[Mark]

Robotic leg.

[Bob]

No, it's a consultation to see what to do. So we've taken to a few appointments because if people don't know, Sandy is our new pup from Thai Street Paws in Songkhla, Thailand. That's not the. How you pronounce it, but it wasn't offensive.

[Wade]

It's pronounced Thailand. Which part did you pronounce? I thought. I thought I really had you there.

[Mark]

Say it again.

[Wade]

I'm the host, man. I'm just gonna mark that down.

[Bob]

Editors, make them say it. Make his lips move to him saying it.

[Mark]

Viola.

[Bob]

Anyway, so that's good. It'll be an evaluation to see because previous consultations said that there is something to be done for the leg. There might be some lingering thing, you know, but the doctors are optimistic about getting mobility back. Not that she isn't really good at moving with three legs. Right now she's very fast. Completely shocked us because you'd be like, she has a limp, but when she's running, she six, both of her legs are doing and she's very quick. But yeah, no, that's good. But the rest of my life is in shambles. But that's. That's at least going well.

[Mark]

Yay for Sandy.

[Wade]

I'm glad that at least one thing in your life isn't in shambles.

[Bob]

I can allude to the rest of it, but it's. It's a complicated situation because by the time this episode comes out, my video talking about the situation will have been yesterday. But I haven't deduced the correct wordage to be.

[Wade]

You know, how brave are you feeling in this small talk?

[Mark]

In the time when we are now, you don't know what you will have said, but in the time that we are then you do will have known what you had said and you meant it.

[Bob]

And I will have let emotions ebb and flow enough to which. Which I could say things logically and reasonably. And right now, I want to do anything unreasonable. I want every unreasonable thing possible to exude from my body. Every orifice, especially my mouth.

[Mark]

Aim it at Wade.

[Bob]

Wait. You're about to receive all of my unreasoned.

[Wade]

Oh, editors dissolved me. Look, I've been hyp.

[Bob]

You could have said, editors clean me or something. Oh, it's all right. It's been a whole thing trying to get, you know, iron lungs released. That's what it's all about. There's been setbacks, but, you know, also some interesting discoveries that I didn't know. But I just feel like I Thought the systems would be more sophisticated, but it turns out like the same kind of tech we're using, we use to figure out the website map, which is what Amy figured out, which is just a spreadsheet with a bunch of, you know, coordinates. Same thing for movies. Put a bunch of bullshit in a spreadsheet and you put it in there and that's the only way to get it up.

[Mark]

Somebody should show those guys about computing technology.

[Bob]

All the computers shoved over into the AI corner, all the compute's reserved for all that. And we're scuzz over here, left with spreadshee and diagrams and bones that we got to roll around. I wonder what rating this movie should be.

[Wade]

It's like those dogs that predict playoffs. Like when they do that for the movies. Like, which movie should come out. Well, bones went to the left bowl, so I guess a hired lung has to wait another month.

[Bob]

Oh, my God, it's been so long.

[Wade]

And it's like.

[Bob]

I know. Everybody, please. I know. It was all explained in the video that came out yesterday. It was all explained, but I haven't worried I'm too emotional.

[Wade]

It was all will be expl. Explained.

[Bob]

You want to know why this drink

[Wade]

doesn't have a lid, Mark? You're not drinking it without a lid, are you?

[Bob]

Because I dropped it. That's it.

[Wade]

That's the first one.

[Mark]

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

[Bob]

Yeah, it fell on the carpet where all the dog hair is, and I reached out to pick it up like, oh, man. And then I did that thing where you grab a lid and it just squishes through your fingers because it's kind of wet because from when I opened it and it just scoots across the floor and I'm like, oh, it's more dog hair. And it's just like keep grabbing and scooting. By the time I picked it up, it was like half dog hair, so I threw it away. That's my story. Give me some points.

[Mark]

La la la la.

[Wade]

Oh, don't worry, you've got some points. Some of these are gonna be really confusing later on to read, but I'm sure we'll remember.

[Mark]

Oh, well, usually they make so much sense. I have a lot of stuff going on too, okay. My life is very complicated. James got a power wheels. If you don't know what power wheels is, it's a car that a toddler can drive. Just little plastic cars. And no, I did not buy it from the store. Yes, I found literally trying to like throw away and rescued it. And man, does it make you feel I Literally could not have done less to rescue this thing from the trash. But I still feel like I invented electricity and James loved it, which was hilarious.

[Wade]

Bob a citizen.

[Mark]

But, like, literally, it was like, it's all these cars. They come with lead acid batteries in them, which wear out and stink. And this one just. The battery was dead, but the battery was just soldered in to the thing, right? So it's like, I guess you just throw it away. And I was like, well, if I just snip these wires and buy for $10 on Amazon a little thing that adapts my Ryobi tool batteries into the. Because they're 18 volt battery, but boom, literally, I cut it. James helped me. I was like, look, bud, look. You put the wires. You stripped the wire. And he was like, huh, huh? When do I drive it? And I was like, we're getting there, man. Screwed it together, put a battery in. And I was like, please don't burst into flames.

[Bob]

God.

[Mark]

Flicked it on, push the gas pedal, and it moved. And literally, James started jumping up and down, just being like, yeah, you did it. Yeah. I was like, God damn it. I'm the best dad that's ever lived. Put the seat on there. And he drove it around for, like, an hour, and he did. It's this thing. I don't know if all kids do this, but James does this thing where, like, he re realizes the same thing over and over again when it's something that's, like a prolonged thing he loves that's happening. And he's, like, sitting in his car, just, like, driving around the driveway, whatever, and then he just stops and sits for a second, and I'm like, are you okay? Yeah. And he's like, I'm driving my Jeep flooring. God damn it. He just keeps re realizing he's driving a Jeep around his own driveway and being like, it's great. And it's immediately a problem because you have to stop playing with it at some point. And so he knows the Jeep exists. And every moment we're not playing with the Jeep, it's like, dad, there's a Jeep in the garage. You remember the Jeep?

[Bob]

Can we drive?

[Mark]

Like, nah, dude, it's eight in the morning. We're not playing Jeep right now. Like, eat your cereal. But very fun. Very fun.

[Wade]

Whatever that face was, was fantastic. It was like the slow realization of an evil mastermind that his plan might actually work.

[Mark]

If I'm honest, I was going for Jim Carrey's Grinch smirk.

[Wade]

That's pretty on par. That's kind of an evil mastermind.

[Bob]

When it grows real being artificially, might I say AI if AI of the early 2000s. If we can all say that AI generated. I can't believe it. I still love the movie.

[Wade]

I'm not gonna say anything critical about Jim Carrey.

[Mark]

Have you guys seen the Sonic movies?

[Wade]

Only the first one. I want to see the new one. Apparently there's a fourth one announced now.

[Mark]

I haven't seen the movies, but have you seen the dance break that Jim Carrey does with Jim Carrey in, I think, the third one?

[Bob]

I. Yeah, I have, yeah. Yeah.

[Wade]

It keeps recommending it to me on YouTube. I haven't watched it because I'm like, well, I want to see the movies, but I know it exists. I haven't watched it.

[Bob]

God, it's great. I don't think it spoils anything. It's great. Yeah.

[Mark]

Apparently he filmed both parts because it's him. And then it's like, his dad, older Robotnik, him, or whatever the hell the story is in the movie. But, God, it's good. That man could dance. Plus, that song slaps. It's all good. It's a good thing.

[Wade]

I keep thinking, like, I keep hearing things like, jim Carrey's retired. Then it's like, new Sonic movie, Jim Carrey will return. It's like, I hope he's. I don't know if he'll be back for the fourth one or not. But, like, I keep hearing he's not doing anymore. And then, like, he keeps coming back

[Mark]

and it's like, yes, I think he. Didn't he make a joke? Like, didn't he retire a while ago? And he was like, I'm not doing movies anymore. I'm done. And then he, like, came back and did the Sonic movie and was like, I ran out of money, so I'm Robotnik now.

[Wade]

All right, I hadn't seen that, but that wouldn't surprise me.

[Mark]

I don't know if that was a joke or a sincere thing, but I swear I thought I saw that. That, like, he was basically like, well, you need money? Turns out they paid me, so I did it.

[Bob]

Sorry, there's an important message I got sent. My sadness depends on it. All right, great.

[Mark]

Come on, make Mark sad.

[Bob]

Do it.

[Wade]

Editors, can we get a description of Mark's slowly, increasingly sadness face?

[Bob]

No, it's helping my sadness.

[Mark]

Oh, okay. Oh, good, good.

[Wade]

Never mind. I'll describe it then. Less fun.

[Bob]

I just keep talking to Amy and we talk back and forth like, this would have been so much easier if we just made a Shopify and I sold an MP4 for like five bucks, or it would have been a link to an unlisted video on my chann. Like, that's the only thing that I send over is just like, if you want, here it is.

[Wade]

That would be shared like wildfire.

[Bob]

No, they would never.

[Mark]

No, but that's the thing about Mark's. Mark's audience, though, is like, people would absolutely just get it and immediately start watching it. But if not right away, within the first couple days, they'd be like, well, I should go spend them. And they would go and they would pay the five bucks or whatever it was just to be like, there. I did it. Because they're not. They're good people and they would not do that. They would not steal because they're so nice.

[Bob]

They wouldn't do me like that.

[Wade]

I agree that some of them would.

[Bob]

They wouldn't do me like that.

[Mark]

They wouldn't. None of them would do that.

[Bob]

They wouldn't do that. They. Them. Well, this isn't them. These assholes might.

[Mark]

Some of this is them.

[Bob]

No, no, no, that's not them.

[Wade]

None of Mark's audience watches this podcast.

[Mark]

Some of you is them.

[Bob]

There is zero overlap.

[Mark]

Markiplier.

[Bob]

Distractible is no overlap.

[Mark]

I wish we feel way better about distractible. We're very successful then. I didn't realize it was so separate.

[Bob]

It is. Well, distractible is very successful.

[Wade]

Thanks, Mickey.

[Mark]

Calm down, Mickey.

[Bob]

This is very, very successful.

[Mark]

Mickey never lies. I feel proud, legally on a label, to lie on the label.

[Wade]

Every time I hear Mark do a Mickey, anything, a reference, Mickey, I just think of the.

[Bob]

You want to see what's under the gloves, Donald? God, what a good comic.

[Wade]

Haunted me for 14 years.

[Bob]

Penis. Speaking of penis.

[Mark]

Segue point.

[Wade]

That's true. That's true. Segue point. No. All right, nice try though. As this is the anniversary episode, I got to give a shout out to one of our Reddit posters. Theater Mom 2016 has made a written out version of the Distractible Constitution

[Mark]

which the. The accuracy of which we do not endorse. It could be filled with any number of false or misleading statements, but probably it's perfect.

[Wade]

There's a whole thread of people offering corrections and amendments and stuff to it in the comments below. So I'm sure it's been corrected and is perfect and exactly what we said and intended. So what we're going to do Today for our 5th year anniversary episode is read a really long document together.

[Bob]

All right?

[Mark]

Yeah, I love documents. It's like a legal proceeding. You have to read it out loud, word for word, Word, start to finish. No skipping. No.

[Wade]

Oh, yeah. I don't.

[Mark]

I don't want to do that. Not going to lie.

[Bob]

I don't want to do that.

[Mark]

Does not interest me very much. I want to delete some out of this, though. I want to cut some fat.

[Bob]

There. There is no way we have this many rules.

[Wade]

It's 10 pages of this, by the way.

[Bob]

Why is it written double columned like this? This is weird.

[Mark]

The. The. The amendments. I honestly, I think it's stylistic as much as anything, but.

[Wade]

No, that's how we said it. We said it like this.

[Mark]

We said it double columned so we

[Wade]

don't have to go through and read the whole thing word for word. But I figured we'd go through and see what rules we have that we've completely forgotten about. What we might want to change. This is our Constitution episodes. Now that this is all typed out, Theater mom went through and posted it. We're gonna change everything.

[Bob]

Oh, the listeners are clicking off right now.

[Wade]

We're gonna say things out loud.

[Mark]

I'm just gonna type. This is the last word I'm gonna say right now.

[Wade]

What I do, Bob, that's out loud. You can't say that.

[Mark]

So this is my inner thoughts. I'm not talking. What happened? I hit a keyboard shortcut or something and my whole computer went black for a second. It's. I'm not gonna do that anymore.

[Bob]

Oh, that's good stuff. Good stuff.

[Wade]

What I've gathered from my quick glancing over this so far is that we are called distractible. You mocking the host right now?

[Bob]

I'm sorry. No, I had something in my throat.

[Wade]

Oh, okay. Just making sure, because don't fucking do that again.

[Bob]

I'm very sad, man. I'm crying. That's how I cry. It's my true cry.

[Mark]

The true cry. Oh, God. Cry like a PS2 character.

[Wade]

So unbelievably accurate.

[Mark]

All right, look, I've been thinking about this. If we're going to add anything to the Constitution, I think we need to add a way to delete shit off the wheel. And I have a concept. So we have the Wheel of Victory, right? Whatever. The red, the bonus points Wheel. I like it. I like that there's a lot of stuff on it. You know what I don't like is when we click spin and something comes up and we look at it and we're like skeleton dancing. Oh, no. I think if we land on something and we can't remember what it is, delete it.

[Wade]

Deleted I'm glad you brought that up, Bob. And I'm giving you a point for it. I was already going to vote to delete stuff from the wheel because I've had some family that watch the podcast approach, like, Wade, please don't tell me the last time you had sex.

[Mark]

Oh, I'm definitely going to remember that one. That's not getting deleted.

[Wade]

I've had sex so many people, friends and family are like, dude, I really don't want to know.

[Bob]

What. Is there any contingency? I don't really care, but is there any contingency if, like, all of us pretend to not remember it? Like, we all are, like, oh, I don't know. And it's kind of obvious that we're kind of faking it? Should that still go through?

[Mark]

There is no test of sincerity.

[Bob]

We need a test of sincerity.

[Mark]

Oh, shit. No, that's not. We're not adding article number nine.

[Bob]

Test of sincerity.

[Mark]

I don't know what that is, but I don't like it.

[Wade]

Have a group lie detector test. What are those called? The.

[Mark]

A poly. Polygraph.

[Wade]

Yeah, we'll get polygraphed. Every episode that we want to delete, we have. We have to submit for polygraph testing.

[Bob]

We'll get our.

[Mark]

Our, Our.

[Bob]

Our distractible writer. Wink on that to figure out what that's about. Look, next season's gonna be a banger. It's gonna get crazy. Game changers. You're fucked.

[Mark]

Yeah. More. More importantly, change gamers. You're extra fucked.

[Wade]

Evantress. We may or may not reach out.

[Bob]

He forgot. So we don't know if anything happened there.

[Mark]

Sorry. If we ever talk or do anything together. This is a taste. You've been warned. No. So is that a unanimous adoption of the. If we can't remember it, it's deleted, and the remembering can be. However, if we all say we don't remember, then we don't remember. There's no dick meas. I, I, I, I vote yes. Make it so. Subreddit person.

[Bob]

Article 5 of this says something about a flag system. I thought we abolished the flag system because it didn't make any sense, that we replaced it with the, the, the thing that. I'm not going to say the thing.

[Mark]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Did we never. Did we not get rid of the flag system? Do we just leave it.

[Wade]

We probably didn't remember that there was a flag system, and so we thought the coin was like, this brilliant new idea.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Or something like that. Wait, was the coin flipping a part of that? Fuck that. I vote we strike Article 5, and if there is something about this coin and a word, it now becomes Article 5 and loses its place somewhere. The fuck it was.

[Mark]

I think possibly. I think possibly it's an amendment.

[Wade]

We'll look through the amendments when we get there. But for now. I agree. Flags. We've already got a system for that. Flags can go. I agree.

[Bob]

All right.

[Mark]

I. I forgot to honor the Second Amendment. Every. Every inaugural, every boat episode, which is technically. This is a boat episode. I think there has to be a fart joke. Oh, wait, no. The boat episode is unrelated to the cost. They just happen to overlap. Right? This isn't a boat episode.

[Bob]

The boat's like a celebratory, like, company event, you know? God, we should really get more staff. Fuck, we don't have any staff, dude.

[Mark]

We need, like, a Congress and staffers. Way, like, management.

[Wade]

I got it. We actually do finally reach out to Evantress, and we kidnap them. We put them in a basement. We make them be our staff.

[Bob]

We make the hosts the actual, like, participants, not their staff. We don't take their staff. We take the host. I love this. I lie. Aye.

[Wade]

They can take their staff to work under them, but they still have to be our staff.

[Mark]

Oh, my God. When did we make this Fourth Amendment? June 10, 2024, from the inaugural boat episode. Apparently, if there is a guest, whether they are a human, animal or robot, they are required to an advertisement script if there is one pending. So guests have to do ad reads. When did we do that? What? What? Wait.

[Wade]

Oh, so specific. Why did we think of that?

[Bob]

I was reading the first articles, not the amendment. I forgot that the articles stay in the amendments. So they need to stay.

[Mark]

Legally, they're all the same. Legally, they're all the same. You could literally write an amendment that says Article 5 don't count. Or you can just delete it. It's okay. Whatever Mark wanted to have happen, that's what happens.

[Bob]

Okay. Yeah. You all know my meaning.

[Wade]

Wait, we abolished handshake deals. Don't we still do those?

[Bob]

Why is Bob's immortality an amendment? That's crazy.

[Mark]

I don't know how that became an amendment, but I. I'm not gonna.

[Wade]

What's the punishment if you break it?

[Mark]

If I die, you guys could kick me off the show. I think that's fair.

[Bob]

Yeah. Because it would be impossible in this game and show for you not to be immortal. Therefore, it would break the universe, and we'd all be expunged.

[Mark]

I don't think we should look at the document. I think we should talk about our wants and our desires and our dreams for this show.

[Bob]

I agree. I like it.

[Wade]

I like it.

[Mark]

I also think we should add, maybe this is too much chaos. I think we should add a way to instantly modify the Constitution. I think it should be a living, breathing document. I don't know if it's coin based or if it's just votes. Like maybe a unanimous vote. We could just be like, get rid of that. All three of us vote.

[Wade]

Wait, what if it's not unanimous? Then do we have to flip a coin or is this majority?

[Mark]

Well, if it's not unanimous, then we could do the special word that triggers a coin flip which then the coin could decide that our vote was incorrect and remedy the situation on its own.

[Bob]

Like a veto of fate.

[Mark]

If we do that and get all tails and it will be made doubly fair. I'm not really clear what exactly that means in terms of modifying the. But I don't really care because I think that's pretty funny.

[Bob]

We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. It'll never happen.

[Mark]

There's no way that's going to happen.

[Bob]

There's no way.

[Mark]

There's no way that that would happen.

[Wade]

I think the name of our Constitution should be we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

[Mark]

That could, you know, our Constitution could just be that sentence. Constitution Article 1. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And then we're just out here crossing bridges every episode. Then you don't have to think about it too much.

[Bob]

Yeah, I'm down with always being able to change it. But it shouldn't be. Willy nilly there should be. But we already have the word. But I feel like we need something further. Or is the word enough to instigate it?

[Mark]

Could.

[Bob]

Could a coin flip be the moment where I was like, we must change it or is it like an impasse that must be addressed?

[Mark]

We could just leave that to the coin flip. I guess the coin makes good decisions. So we just need to add a thing that says you can challenge parts of the Constitution in the form of a coin flip declaration.

[Bob]

Hmm. But that would leave it. So one person has the power to make constitutional change. And I feel like that has to be an agreed upon action. A lot of power in this.

[Mark]

A lot of power.

[Wade]

Constitutional changes can be made by unanimous vote or by majority with exception of a coin flip prevention. That's a lot to remember. And we're never going to.

[Mark]

But I think it needs to be shorter and funnier.

[Bob]

Yeah, needs to be shorter and funnier and something we'll actually remember us.

[Mark]

Yay.

[Wade]

No loses.

[Mark]

What if it's a wheel and it's a wheel with our three names on it and each of us gets a vote? So it's, it's the, the wheel can be unanimous or the wheel can be 2/3 one thing, 2/3 the other or one third the other thing. Right. So if we, if two of us want to get rid of, but one of us is protesting, then the wheel has a two out of a two thirds chance to land on a. A yes vote, but a 1/3 chance to land on a veto vote.

[Bob]

But how does that propose, how do we start the proposal? It could it be. Could it be to initiate an amendment? It's a host power.

[Mark]

Right?

[Bob]

It's a host based power. So only the hosts can start it. But they only get like we could go back to the flag thing where there's only one. You can make one per season. 2, 3, 2 1. 3 2, 1.

[Wade]

Less than 20.

[Bob]

What if it's like a. You can make an amendment, but if it gets vetoed, you lose it.

[Mark]

Yeah, it's like sports. It's like sports challenges. If your challenge succeeds, you keep it. But if you fail, this is probably

[Bob]

the same thing we said about the flex. Like yeah, if it wins, it's the same thing. But it's for amendments.

[Wade]

Two per season. If they're both right, you can keep going. If one's wrong, that's all you get is those two.

[Bob]

But it's only the host can do it because it's the competitors that say the other thing. So this is like a.

[Mark]

Clearly if the host wants to do it, they're going to vote yes on the wheel. So they at least have a 1 in 3 vote to do what they want. But they could have everyone on their side if they have a strong case.

[Bob]

Yeah. Yeah. And does it need. It needs to be a super majority unanimous or it needs to be at least just two out of three?

[Mark]

I think it needs to be. Well, I think the wheel can decide. So like it just needs to be our three names and each of us decides beforehand what our vote is and whoever it lands on, it goes their way. But like, so that the probability is, you know, if two of us vote yes, one votes no, then yes has a better chance, but it's not a guaranteed win.

[Bob]

How do we bring lobbyists into this?

[Wade]

How do we get people to pay money? Do we also each get at least one like veto to ensure that two of us don't Just flat out be like, all right, what if Bob has to do this entire season blindfolded?

[Mark]

And two of us are like, hi.

[Wade]

And Bob's like, no, no, no.

[Mark]

This is just to delete. This is not to add. This is to delete. All this does is get rid of

[Bob]

something the host promote is. Is just for deletion.

[Mark]

Yeah. So the host could be like, I want to get rid of the entire coin flip section.

[Bob]

It would never pass Congress.

[Wade]

So how do we add? Does adding have to be unanimous?

[Mark]

Do we need congressional districts for this or something?

[Bob]

Okay, we each start our own Patreon, and the amount of money that we get monthly determines our voting power.

[Wade]

I claim Mark's name.

[Bob]

Hey, my.

[Mark]

My super pack is gonna be called Markiplier4 distractible.

[Bob]

Hey, wait. You guys are better at politics than me. Hold on.

[Wade]

You can have Minion or Lord Minion. You can have one of those too.

[Mark]

My super PAC is gonna be called Ted Cruz for Congress. He's popular, right?

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. Oh.

[Wade]

Oh, definitely Amongst our podcasting audience, probably.

[Mark]

Everybody loves. Everybody loves Ted. So the host can initiate a deletion. We do the wheel. You just. Whatever. Whoever the wheel lands on their. Their vote is the one that counts. But everyone declares their votes, so it's like a probability thing. And it can be unanimous. If it's unanimous, doesn't really matter. I think if both competitors want to veto it, maybe, but they have to be in alignment. Because you're saying maybe there should be a veto. No, I don't know if we need a veto.

[Wade]

Well, I was thinking for adding stuff, if we're just deleting stuff, I think

[Mark]

if it's just deleting, I don't think we need, like, a veto thing. I think it can just go to the.

[Wade]

No, I agree. For. For deletion. I agree. I was thinking if we were adding something, I just didn't want one person being ganged up on.

[Bob]

We would never do that. If we're very fair here, you can say fair. You could. Fair is not a band term.

[Mark]

Just fair. Just. Right. Just fair. Just regular fair and no part of it. This is not meant to be a discrimination either, but I'm going to say, Wade, you don't get this power. This episode. It starts.

[Wade]

No, that. That. I agree.

[Bob]

Yeah. All things start in the next one.

[Wade]

Yeah. The. The Constitution episodes should definitely be more collaborative than us versus them.

[Bob]

It's a battle.

[Wade]

In fact, should a Constitution episode always just end with a wheel spin to see who hosts the next one? I.

[Bob]

Man, we don't Remember how we did in the last one and we can't be bothered to look it up.

[Mark]

No winner is to be announced for the boat meeting episode. Thus, no points will be ass. No additional showing between official recordings. The winning count will continue into the episode that follows. The winner who won the episode before the boat episode will host the next one. So wait till Host the next one.

[Bob]

Ha ha.

[Wade]

Well, that's. That's. I'm fine with that. But is that boat or constitution? Because we're.

[Mark]

We're. I think this is. I think this is meant to be a constitution episode. I think they're.

[Bob]

Well, the letter of the law only states boat.

[Wade]

It.

[Bob]

Only. It is the. We can change it now, but it won't apply until the next.

[Wade]

So how do we want to hand the Constitution. We do it the same way we want to wheel. Do you want to be the host? Points again? How do we want to handle this?

[Bob]

I mean, I guess you're the host, so you could decide. You have congressional power because you are presiding over. That's true.

[Mark]

You have the power. The power of the merce.

[Wade]

But this does apply to all of us, so I still welcome opinions. You guys. It's like Supreme Court. You know, I might be the one. You're. Well, that's a bad reference this day.

[Mark]

When do I get a bus? If we're the Supreme Court, how do I get my bus?

[Wade]

Isn't Star Boulevard. You can pay like $70,000 and get a star. Maybe you just pay me money and you get a bust.

[Mark]

I see. I see.

[Bob]

Is that how much it is?

[Wade]

I don't know. I saw a thing about it, but maybe. Maybe it was not true.

[Bob]

Your Honor, may I approach the bench?

[Wade]

Oh, the flashbacks. Yeah, of course. Oh, God, that gave me secondhand cringe again. Don't laugh. Make sure you don't laugh.

[Bob]

You've hardly acknowledged my Boo Boo. I just want to point out no one's. No one's acknowledged yet.

[Wade]

Your camera won't focus on it. I didn't know you had one.

[Bob]

Hold on. It's here. My Boo Boo. You've hardly noticed my Boo Boo.

[Wade]

I'm sorry about your Boo Boo. What happened to your Boo Boo?

[Bob]

I cut my finger on a knife.

[Wade]

I'm going to assume it was an accident, not a cult ritual.

[Bob]

That's the end of my story.

[Wade]

All right, well, I'm sorry about your Boo Boo. I hope it heals up.

[Mark]

Did you have to get stitches? Do you need stitches?

[Bob]

No, I think I got it quick enough.

[Mark]

Is that how stitches works?

[Bob]

I don't know.

[Mark]

You're too slow to get a bandaid on there. You progress to kneading stitches?

[Bob]

Well, see, I've learned that. I've learned this a while ago, but I think in terms. Terms of healing, the old mentality was that you keep the wound dry and dry it out. Should be like the Sahara in there.

[Mark]

Dry.

[Bob]

Keep it dry. And then we realize that it needs to be gushy. Gushy wet to really heal. Because when I burn my hands, I don't have horrible scarring because I kept ripping the bandages off and reopening the wounds and then slapping a bunch of bacitracin on it. And it worked. It was perfectly good. So I was like, ah, I'll do the same here. And they make these new, like. Well, I don't know how new they are, but they're like gel bandages. They're kind of like. Like got this kind of rubbery texture to it. And it's got like, a strip of basically, Neosporin gel that it just plops on there. I think it'll. I mean, I almost chopped it all the way off, but I think it'll

[Mark]

heal right back up.

[Bob]

See how it's, like, turning darker on the tip? That's because it's necrotizing.

[Mark]

That's probably fine.

[Wade]

You don't want to have a dead tip.

[Bob]

I think I heard I can grow it back with pig bladder.

[Wade]

Only one way to find out.

[Mark]

I think I heard that from us.

[Bob]

I might have mentioned this.

[Mark]

Yeah, I think I heard that from Mark, actually. Very specifically.

[Wade]

Dear jam, I can't believe this happened to Mark.

[Bob]

What was JAMA again?

[Wade]

Journal of American Medicine.

[Mark]

I thought it was the Journal of American Medicine of America.

[Bob]

Right. And there was a distractible post five years ago. I keep. We're back again. It's like, keep coming back to the same thing where it's like, biomedical engineering, Ph.D. or please don't chop your finger and rub pig bladder powder on it. How would you know? Have you ever tried it? Which is probably the exact same thing I said then.

[Mark]

100%. Yeah. Yeah.

[Wade]

Y. Yeah, there's probably an association. One of the two ways is probably association or associates or.

[Bob]

Sorry, I distracted us. Should there be something in the. We should have something in the Constitution about being distracted.

[Wade]

Bonus points, probably. It's the name of our podcast.

[Bob]

Yeah, but I mean, yeah, it's gotta be something that incentivizes it more. We need, like, tax incentives to be able to do more distractions. Right.

[Wade]

We can see if the IRS will give us a tax break.

[Bob]

I Guess I feel like we should have a call line, a phone line where viewers and listeners can dial in, but it's like they don't know when we're recording, so it's just randomly go so hard.

[Wade]

Middle of the night. Hang on, Molly, someone's calling.

[Bob]

Hey, you said the fair rule.

[Wade]

Oh, sorry, we're not recording right now. Click.

[Bob]

I love that thing in shows like the horrifying game changers that we hate, where they have the contestants do things off show. Right. Like Taskmaster does it, where they have them doing a thing in the room and they film it. I love shit like that. Why don't we do that? Our show should be so good. Why don't we try?

[Wade]

Well, if I. If I'm getting really real, I think it's because we all still have other things we like. Our only thing we do isn't the show. Whereas people that live and breathe their show, they put their all. I mean, you just made a fucking movie.

[Bob]

I'm not making it now.

[Wade]

It sounds like you're making something. What's that behind you?

[Bob]

Oh, no, it's. I don't know. Fucking disc makers are fine. They're not running.

[Mark]

They'll run on their own.

[Bob]

But we can make this show something great.

[Mark]

We could do that.

[Bob]

We could be top 10.

[Wade]

We could be number one.

[Mark]

You know, I don't know if we need constitutional amendments about that. We could just do. We could just do.

[Wade]

We declare that we must be the number one podcast.

[Bob]

I don't think it works that way.

[Wade]

How often do the number. The top podcast post. Are we not. Are we not higher up? Because we only post once or twice

[Mark]

a week and they're like 13 Joe Rogan episodes a week. I don't even know.

[Wade]

I don't know. Like, I don't know what determines that.

[Mark]

What if there's a thing where you can steal an episode if you have a bit. An outside the show bit that you record and bring in and you just start playing it and you can, like. You can, like, hijack the episode.

[Bob]

I feel like it would have to be a mission that gets sent out for, like, the next episode. Because it's like the host, I feel like. Or it could be just completely random. It's totally right. It's like me when I've recorded all those, you know, intro intros that I did for various random segments that I did.

[Wade]

Yeah. We'd have to have a lot more forethought in our planning. And also we'd have to know what each other are up to. Like If Mark's like, hey, I'm going on a honeymoon, and we're like, well, while you're there, I would do it.

[Mark]

We could do, like, Taskmaster, though, right? Where it's like, we could just have a list, and then it's like, from the episode where we declare that list. If you bring in a bit to an episode, you get, like, a bunch of points, or you can hijack the episode or, like, you win by default or something.

[Bob]

I love these things where it's like we say things a while ago, and because we're so bad at remembering, if we remember and we say, like, it has to be a minimum number of weeks ahead or episodes ahead. Like, there's a bounty board for, like, five episodes ahead to do this.

[Mark]

I mean, it could be this season. Like, we could. At the start of the season, we'd be like, all right, here's a bounty board. Maybe we can update this if we start burning through stuff. But, like, the start of the season, we put out a bounty board, and it's like, if you do one of these missions, film it, bring it in as a bit, we play it on the show. Hijacked. I don't know what the reward. What's a good reward?

[Bob]

Automatic 5 points or something like that. Like, big points. That actually could change the. The course of that whole episode, you know, because I feel like we. We are very competitive, but it's like, I want that extra proactive stepping there to do something, and it doesn't have to be big. This is why I want GoPro to fucking talk to me so fucking badly.

[Wade]

This has all been an ad for GoPro to talk to.

[Bob]

No, they won't. They won't. But it's like, that's what I need, right? Because even the DJI thing, it's nice, but it's in its case, and you gotta undo it, and you gotta feel like a doofus.

[Mark]

Yeah, well, it's kind of delicate. Yeah, you gotta y.

[Bob]

You know, as opposed to picking up and hitting, you can. You can hit the. On all the GoPros, you could just hit, like, hit the record button and then pick it up. It starts going, right? That's the level of convenience I want

[Wade]

is like, I want to.

[Bob]

They don't talk to me, and I think they're getting sold.

[Mark]

Yeah, well, they were in trouble, right? Wasn't there kind of a Hail Mary with this generation with the cinema sensors

[Wade]

and the calm Amateur has been buying up a lot of people lately. That sounds really bad.

[Bob]

What. How is that supposed to be good?

[Mark]

Oh, GoPro.

[Bob]

Come amateurs.

[Mark]

Go pro. Come amateur.

[Wade]

Yeah, the, the joke was there until the words came out and then I realized how bad it sounded based on your two's expression.

[Bob]

It just really felt like it was somewhere.

[Wade]

Let's out of nowhere to veto that name.

[Bob]

It's too late now, man. It's too late.

[Wade]

There you're gonna get.

[Mark]

No, I think in the constitution needs to be included. You must film the mission on a come amateur camera.

[Wade]

I don't wanna. I don't wanna.

[Bob]

All right. Bounty. Bounty. For this year, Wade has to get a brain scan of some kind. I don't think a full MRI doesn't have to be like he has to have electrodes to his brain and then he has to like show us what his thought process is like go through some bits. Bounty. I apply. I, I, I submit for the bounty board.

[Mark]

I like that. I think that's, that's good. Do they make like home kits where you could scan your own brain at home? There's no way are you're talking less

[Wade]

MRI and more so like the hook stuff up and like they see what parts of my brain light up to different prompts. Are those invasive?

[Mark]

No, it's literally just electrodes taped on your head.

[Bob]

You are actually perfect for it because you have no hair.

[Mark]

You don't have hair. Yeah, that's right. That's true. Go right on there.

[Wade]

Okay. If they offer that here in Cincinnati, I'll try to find a way. But that'd be. I'd be fascinated to know how my. Maybe I just need to go to therapy and record my sessions.

[Mark]

Oh, that'd be great. Do do therapy with that on and have like a recording of your brain as it's happening.

[Wade]

They find some deep se trauma and you guys like, oh, that's how his brain works, grandma.

[Mark]

No, no, dig into it.

[Bob]

Dig into it.

[Mark]

I like the idea of like multi part missions where it's like you have to go and get some specific thing and then you pull it out in the episode.

[Wade]

Right?

[Mark]

You're like, you have to go. Maybe it's like food or I want the bounties to be good and not just like a video of me going to Kroger to buy an apple. I bought an apple at the store.

[Wade]

All right.

[Bob]

Because they can be on the list, but they're not done. We could make it fan participation. They could have a weekly roundup of like voting up a bounty or submitting things and then we could have our moderators or whatever submitted to a list.

[Wade]

We could post their doing of the bounties, too.

[Bob]

No, never mind. We get to monetize it. Come on.

[Mark]

It's us.

[Bob]

It's us. It's us.

[Wade]

Stupid dingle. By here. Stupid dingle.

[Mark]

Oh, I have one that needs to be on the bounty board. It's kind of unfair. Oh, wait. You have to decide. You have to decide.

[Bob]

You're the host.

[Wade]

So you declared unfair on the thing

[Mark]

I was about to say? I guess so.

[Wade]

Either nothing happens. You get to really doubly say it. I don't know what that means or your ideas.

[Bob]

This bounty could be worth double points.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, I think that's. I think that makes sense either. If it's. If it is unfair, the bounty doesn't go on the board. If it's fair. If it's doubly fair, it's just worth double points because it's such a good bounty.

[Wade]

All right, so heads is in favor. You declared it. So heads.

[Mark]

Three heads means it's a really good bounty. It's worth double. Three tails means it doesn't go on the board.

[Wade]

All right.

[Mark]

I'm an idiot.

[Bob]

Oh, I got heads.

[Wade]

Heads, tails. Ah, that's good, though.

[Mark]

That means my idiot mistake didn't cost us anything anyway. I was going to say, say for all three of us. I feel like it should be a bounty. If you're in public and someone recognizes you, get a video with them to be like. And have them, like, explain. Or you explain if they don't want to be on camera. But, like, get a video to bring in to be like, hey, they what? This is a watcher or a listener or whatever. Right? Like, I just like that because I think it's funny. I always feel really awkward when someone comes up and it's like, I love distractible. And I just want to be like, can I have a video? Can we take a. I know you're just in your everyday life, but can we do this right? And they'll immediately be like, oh, I don't want to do that.

[Wade]

So what, do I still film it? If they walk up to me, they're like, hey, are you Bob from Markiplier?

[Bob]

I think there's something to that, but it needs to be more specific.

[Mark]

You have to say yes and you have to go with it. But you can. You can get credit for that.

[Bob]

Yeah. There's got to be something that we like. I like the idea of that. But they have to know the bit. They have to know something because they listen to this. So it has to be something that they say or do or have on Them, you know, like, in. What is the show with, like, the three doors and Wayne Brady?

[Wade]

And it's like.

[Bob]

Did anyone bring a spoon?

[Mark]

Because I. Oh, yeah. I want to make a deal.

[Bob]

Yeah, I want to make a deal. It's like something like that where the audience has to do that. And if we meet in life and they have that, then we know they're a real fan and that completes the bounty.

[Mark]

What if it's a coin? What if they have to have a coin and then they have to flip it, and if they get heads, you succeed at the bounty, but if they get tails, you fail at the bounty. So they have to have the coin to begin with, but then you still have to win the coin flip to actually get the bounty.

[Wade]

How many of these, like, let's say you run into, like, three different people. Can you film it three different times in one go?

[Mark]

I mean, look, if that's the life you want to live, I guess I would say if it's like a group of three people, I guess, and they all meet you all at once, like, they come. That's like one encounter, which gives you more odds of them having a coin. But you only get one coin flip.

[Bob]

I'd say if there's more than one fan, they all have to flip, though. And it has to be majority. The majority gets hits.

[Wade]

Okay?

[Bob]

Because that.

[Wade]

It.

[Bob]

If there's so many, then it gets in your favor. So we gotta balance it out, right?

[Wade]

What if it's three separate events throughout, like, the course of a week?

[Mark]

If it's three, I mean, but this is the thing, right? This. This happens to be once in a while, not a ton, but, like, if it's at different times, at different. If it's unrelated, I think each one is just its own thing, right? You happen to be out at the mall, and it's like you. You run into someone 20 minutes later, you run into someone 13 hours later, you.

[Wade]

If all we have on us is our phone, phone quality, okay? For this kind of fun, however you

[Bob]

record it, that's up to you. If you want the point, you got to keep your. Your recorders on. You and I, maybe we could keep it, like, one per day, per person, per each of us. One event of meeting fans.

[Wade]

I don't think I'll typically have to worry about that too much, but yeah,

[Mark]

yeah, I'm okay with the cap because I think that pretty much exclusively affects Mark.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah. Make it fair.

[Wade]

Make it fair. We're like, mark, this month we had one fan interaction. Mark's like, dude, here's my list of the last hour.

[Mark]

Scroll. I've been saving them. I have eight videos from yesterday of fans flipping and getting heads. Most of them didn't get heads.

[Bob]

Dude. I haven't talked about how going back to Cincinnati is way more like getting recognized than anywhere else I go to. I was walking around, like, Europe and nobody. That's fine. Which is cool. Like, it's totally fine. Usually it's not that bad in even la. I you around, it's totally fine. But in Cincinnati, it's crazy. Everyone, I think, anyway.

[Wade]

Literally everyone. Yeah.

[Mark]

You're a Cincinnati man. Thank you.

[Bob]

I try to be. Anyway, you're great at Cincinnati.

[Wade]

Great. Yeah, we are.

[Bob]

Is a good one that could be practically its own. Amended by itself instead of just a bounty.

[Mark]

If you have a fan interaction, you have to get. They have to have a coin, and you have to get a video of the coin flip. And if it's heads, you click. Is it once it's claimed by one of us, it's claimed in the. That's it.

[Wade]

Probably.

[Bob]

Or that's one I could see repeating. But it's like, also, it should have a cooldown. If it should. Or else it. Every week we might.

[Wade]

Like, what if both. Like, what if both competitors bring in the same bounty for that particular episode?

[Bob]

Share the points. Split the points.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Bob]

How many points is a bounty worth?

[Mark]

I kind of like. I feel like five points is a good amount for the range. Like, I. I think I tend to give the most points, and five points would still sway my line pretty substantially almost all the time. And for, like, Mark. Mark. Sometimes you only get, like, five, six, seven points. So it would be like a huge swing, potentially.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I feel like five makes sense. And we can. We can look. We can adjust that if we decide we need to.

[Wade]

Do we ever decide on how we want to end the Constitution episodes? Whether it's just the host again or whether we want to spin a wheel or how we want to do that?

[Bob]

Why are you in a rush?

[Wade]

You want to get out of here? Yeah.

[Bob]

We're having a great time.

[Mark]

Come on.

[Wade]

Well, no, but I still wanted to answer that before I forgot.

[Mark]

We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Mark]

I thought. I thought that was.

[Wade]

We will revisit this in approximately 10 minutes.

[Mark]

I thought that was our thing. I thought we were doing that. I thought that was the thing.

[Wade]

It was. It was. Well, it was well done.

[Mark]

We're going to have, like, maybe a weekly post where it's like, this week's bounties Suggestions. And then we'll have. We'll ask the mods maybe to aggregate them into like a master list of bounties. These.

[Bob]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark]

I think. I think we do need maybe to be able to say, like, oh, that one doesn't count or something. Like if. Because I. I trust the mods generally. But if one gets on there where it's like, well, go to an in and out.

[Bob]

Yeah. If it's too easy. It can't be too easy.

[Wade]

Yeah, well, we can't all do that. Oh.

[Bob]

Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, okay.

[Wade]

It can't be too easy.

[Mark]

If it was a Shake Shack. There is one of those here.

[Bob]

But that's maybe in the small talk round we should just have a quick little segment to be like.

[Wade]

And.

[Bob]

And these are the bounties we're adding to the list. And we could check them over for fairness or something.

[Mark]

That would be a. We could have a segment. We have a segment, the bounty segment,

[Bob]

sponsored by intel, sponsored by bounty paper towels.

[Mark]

If we do this and that doesn't happen, I will never recover.

[Wade]

I like this. I like that they're optional because I'm very lazy and I will only sporadically even want to do them.

[Mark]

Yeah. Wade's never going to do this. This is just extra competition between me and Mark. Wade's not going to engage with this at all.

[Wade]

100%. It means I will lose even more often. But I'm excited for it.

[Mark]

We could put a bounty on there. That would be like, Wade has to go to his basement on purpose and take a video of himself saying, I claim the bounty where I went to my basement for no other reason than this. And you would still not do it.

[Wade]

Don't make it my basement, because that's where I'm at right now. Make it like goes outside.

[Mark]

No, but see, you're in your basement because we were going to record. You'd have to be done recording, go upstairs to the rest of your house, then consciously choose to go down some stairs to the basement.

[Wade]

I still think that's too easy for me. You have to at least make me, like, go a place I wouldn't normally go anyway.

[Mark]

I feel like you wouldn't do it. I'd be willing to put that on there just to see if you do it or not, because I feel like you'd forget about it and never do it and it'd be fine.

[Bob]

I also want a system where we could be given secret bounties like that the others don't know about. About that only we know, and they're limited time, right? Like in the next four episodes, you could do xyz. And it's something that specifically one of us could do.

[Mark]

We could have the distractible writer give us things because that would be something that none of us would know except whomst ever was told whomst.

[Wade]

I'm so excited for you guys to do this stuff.

[Mark]

Wait. It's going to be a hell of a show for you, man. Just you wait.

[Bob]

He's playing it cool now. He really.

[Wade]

He really. My bounties are gonna be like, wade, show up and don't look like you just rolled out of bed.

[Mark]

Wade, don't order doordash during episode Instant fail.

[Wade]

We don't have to talk about that.

[Bob]

What do you mean don't have to talk about? You literally announce whenever you have to do it. Every episode.

[Wade]

I don't say the. The place by name. They're not paying me. I'm paying them. Them. I just say food is on the way.

[Mark]

Gentlemen, I like this. I think. Do we have. We have to have an official vote on this? All that stuff we just said. I vote I.

[Bob]

And then adding in some extra being like, this system is in progress. It's beta, and it will. This amendment will be in flux over the next few weeks as we feel it out.

[Mark]

This is a broad constitutional amendment. We will work on the regulations as we go. Okay. The. The regs can change, and it's fully optional.

[Wade]

None of us has to do anything, but we are welcome to, and it will definitely, definitely give us an edge.

[Mark]

It's not optional to be subject to the system. It's just optional to participate.

[Bob]

Yes. Agree.

[Mark]

What if it's fun? What if it's like, go to a Brazilian steakhouse and eat your own weight in meat?

[Wade]

I can't do that anymore. I can eat a lot. I can't do that anymore. I got out. Eaten by one of my nephews recently.

[Mark]

It's ironic because if I weighed less, I would probably eat less. But because I'm such an eater, I feel like I could do it. But I weigh so much, it might not be physically possible.

[Wade]

I've been actively trying. Trying to vary up my diet a little bit. And I've eaten more salads anyways. That's not. Neither here nor there. I've been trying to be a little bit better.

[Mark]

I like this. I like this a lot. I'm gonna have to. I know Mark will do this and he'll edit his own thing, and it will be this beautiful thing. I'm gonna need to, like, have an editor Fix mine. Because it's gonna be a bunch of shaky ass footage of me being like, guys, I meant to marry you like, sam, fix it.

[Wade]

You'll be like, wade, read a book. And I'm gonna have my tone my toes holding my phone up, watching me read a book. He was like, oh, God, wait, it's just a crotch shot. He's like, well, just trust me, bro. It's there.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's why you need the GoPros, because they're hyper smooth technology.

[Mark]

My GoPro is literally sitting right there waiting for action.

[Bob]

You got a mission before me?

[Mark]

No, I didn't have a mission. I was filming. I was filming James's trains with it. I'm gonna be honest. He makes train tracks. And then he's like, video my train, go around the track. And I make. I have to do it because I

[Bob]

feel bad because I. I don't even have a GoPro here. And I always used to. I don't even know where my DJI pocket is.

[Mark]

You always had them around. I'm surprised you don't.

[Bob]

I saw empty boxes at my storage and it was. I don't know where they are. I replaced them all with my higher quality cameras. That's my problem is, like, I got a gap between my phone and my big cameras that I need to fill. I watch it.

[Mark]

GoPro.

[Bob]

You please stick around long enough to give me the fucking camera.

[Wade]

Come, expert.

[Mark]

Come, expert.

[Wade]

Is that better?

[Bob]

Right?

[Mark]

No.

[Wade]

What's a good synonym for cum or another?

[Bob]

Just don't try it. Approach.

[Wade]

Approach. Expert.

[Bob]

Approach. Me. Expert.

[Mark]

Wentcon. I gotta bust out the old went con for this one. The problem word is cum. Just to be clear. Wade.

[Wade]

Well, no, I got it. But the combination was particularly heinous.

[Bob]

I mean, it's not heinous, it's just distasteful, tasteful, and contextually, it was misunderstood, which actually made us laugh really hard.

[Mark]

It's true. If you weren't the host, it probably would have got you some points or something.

[Wade]

Well, that's a good thing. I'm the host here. Okay, so we all voted in favor of the bounties we're trying to get sponsored by GoPro. I think we've covered all the important things. Anything else we need to go over about the Constitution?

[Mark]

I don't. There's nothing else that, like, burns at me where I'm like, God, why do we do this? Why do we do this? I think we're. I think it's in a pretty good spot. Oh, I was thinking about this. Do we want to have. Eddie, does it matter if we want to have rules about like bottle episodes or do we want to just do that completely ad hoc? Like, because I'm thinking, like, if I have a dream and a vision and am working with people to put together like tabletop, one shot type things where it's like, it'll be a complete bottle episode and it's just like on, you know, it's just us screwing around, doing like some tablet, tabletop misadventure type thing. It could just be. When I host, I do that. But it could also be like if we wanted to do a series, you know, if it turned out we recorded for three hours because it was really fun and it could just be a multi part. We don't need like a rule for that. Right. It's like if the episode continues, we could just split it into multiple parts and it's just like whoever wins hosts the next one.

[Wade]

I'm fine with to be continued episodes. If there's a reason for something to go on for multi parts, I think that should all come out together because otherwise it gets split once for that. So, yeah, so, I mean, I'm fine with that. We just get to the end of whatever that is and then we'll do the.

[Mark]

I just have. I have this vision that I'm trying to make actually come to life and it might lead to that, but I don't. I think it's fine. We'll deal with that. I'll be fine.

[Bob]

No, I like that. I think that we should all prep the audience to explore the concepts of what audiovisual podcasts can be because the host can do whatever they want.

[Wade]

Great.

[Mark]

I will say too, I'm. I'm eventually going to move out of my pile of trash. I have a. I have a room, a room that's unfinished down to the studs that I plan on customizing and developing into an actual studio instead of a bedroom. I pile my stuff into and I want. I want it to look nice. I don't know if I'm capable of achieving that, but I could find like, Mark is. Mark must know someone who can help. So I have a goal, like the walking every a mile every day. I've. I reach my goals.

[Wade]

I want to do that too. It's so hard to do that on my knee right now. But man, I. I want to be outside. It's such beautiful weather in Cincinnati right now.

[Bob]

Go to Europe. You just walk around a lot.

[Wade]

Been high 60s, low 70s, like the last week or so. It's been so gorgeous. And, like, apparently, you can't go from not playing basketball to just jumping around like a maniac for two hours and expect your knees to be fine.

[Mark]

I guess.

[Wade]

Who knew? If we're voting for Bob's proposal of the continuation of episodes, I. Oh, hi.

[Bob]

I have a proposal. It's of. I want to treat the audience like Congress, and I think we should allocate them a discretionary budget that they can vote what they spend on. On a monthly or weekly basis.

[Wade]

Hold on.

[Bob]

For us to incorporate into the show. Right, so it's not a lot. It's not a lot. It's like, you can tell that we're.

[Wade]

We're thin on the money front right now.

[Bob]

No, they're not giving the money.

[Mark]

No, no, we're telling.

[Bob]

We're giving them our money.

[Wade]

No, wait, hold on. No. Veto.

[Mark]

Look, wait, it's not gonna. I'll cover yours, man. It's not gonna be a lot. I see. I see the vision. I see where this is going. I like it.

[Bob]

I think we should allocate, like, 500 bucks a month to the discretionary concepting and idea budget that they get to spend or make us spend.

[Mark]

If we. If the subreddit can, like, coalesce around an idea. Yes, we will spend each. 500 each on. Total. Is it total?

[Bob]

Total, but. All right. Okay. All right, okay. 500 each. 500 each.

[Mark]

Well, I would do. I would do 500 each, but I'm not trying to force you.

[Bob]

500.

[Mark]

If it was total. That's also cool, but I feel like 500 each would be like. Because some. Some I'm. I'm imagining there's going to be some bits, right, where it's like each of you spend 100 to a couple hundred bucks on this thing, and that's like a bit like a costume or I don't know what. Right, but. And I don't. I don't know if there needs to be a. Well, is this your thing? I'm sort of taking it over. I just really like it. I think it's a idea. Good idea.

[Bob]

I think that we should have some rules about it. The predominant purpose of the item, despite its actual purpose, should be for the improvement and or content of the show. And it must be something that we could obtain without undue burden. I like the legal terms like that,

[Mark]

you know, undue burden.

[Wade]

Basically, we like it. We'll do it. If we don't, we won't.

[Bob]

And it must fit in the view of the camera.

[Mark]

And none of our cameras look out windows, so there's no inclusion, including of outdoor spaces in that.

[Bob]

I suppose we should modify that one. But it's like it. It must be filmable without undue burden.

[Mark]

So look, so this. This I was going to get to, like. I don't think we need, like, a vote number or something. This isn't like a hard thing, but it needs to be like, there needs to be clear consensus that, like, enough people are excited about something and we are part of the.

[Wade]

We.

[Mark]

We are. We the people.

[Wade]

Right?

[Mark]

We are still people here. So we can. Can, like, we can lobby Congress. We can be the lobbyists we want to be in the world, or we can, you know, we could be the Supreme Court and just say, yes, yes, whatever you said, except how we say it, and change the laws arbitrarily, however we see fit. Or we could be like the president and just executive order whatever we want into existence and say that the people wanted that. We can be all three branches of government here because we really are.

[Bob]

Are.

[Mark]

Yeah, we'll do it. You know, we'll do it on the fly. Right? We'll make it work. It has to work. Are you sure we're cool with 500 each a month? Because that is a lot. I was gonna say originally, like a hundred each a month, but then, like, that might not be quite enough to do. Cool, cool.

[Bob]

It's just depending on whether it's an each thing or a pool thing.

[Wade]

What if, like, we do, like, a pool of 600? So it'd be 200 each a month?

[Mark]

Yeah. What if it's 200 each a month? But it's like, we could all pool together.

[Wade]

It doesn't have to hit that amount.

[Mark]

It can be less one big thing if it's. It's like, well, you know, one of us has to do it or something.

[Bob]

We'll. We'll put it at a tester of like 600 total.

[Mark]

Ish.

[Bob]

200amonth of each of us. And that'll be the loose delineation. We'll see what they get and then

[Mark]

adjust from there, you know, immediately. The ideas are going to be like, go to Guam and fill an episode in a bounce house. Can you get that for 600 bucks? How much are flights to Guam?

[Wade]

Can I fit a bounce house and about 5 square feet.

[Bob]

Can't wait for Wheels of Cheese to appear randomly in our fucking episode.

[Mark]

How many Wheels of Cheese can you get for 600 bucks?

[Wade]

I am not filling my room with Styrofoam. I will veto that ahead of time.

[Mark]

I like this. I like this. Is going to get the subreddit riled up.

[Bob]

We are literally creating the world's greatest podcast. This is the season.

[Wade]

I can't wait to veto every idea. I'm excited.

[Mark]

We don't have ultimate veto power. We're going to. We're going to have to play. We're going to have to work within the system, by which I mean make up our own rules. But we're going to have to appease the people or the will revolt. And we're. So we're officially declaring, I guess too, the subreddit is the place. Right? There's no. Because there is like a discord and we are looking at the subreddit. The subreddit is the hub of political activity.

[Bob]

There might be a need for more real time communication again. We'll figure it out. Loose Uzi.

[Wade]

Should we make the Discord the place?

[Mark]

I just feel like the subreddit has much more activity generally.

[Wade]

That's because we appeal to them a lot. But if we start appealing to the Discord, maybe they'd go over there. Where are you guys willing to go? Let us know.

[Bob]

You guys figure it out. We can't do everything for you. Come on.

[Mark]

I mean, if the subreddit has a whole thing and they're like, we want the Discord and it's. Everyone's talking about it. Yeah. I mean, we maybe just adjust that on the fly.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah. It's like by. By what they need more than anything.

[Wade]

It's like if they need Discord is easier communication. The Reddit, I feel like it's easier to see overall topics well.

[Mark]

But the Discord has a. Has a threads thing now too. Right. So you basically can have a discord where you also have Reddit threads where it's like. It's a more permanent chronological record of a discussion as opposed to like scrolling chats and chats and chat. It does exist. It's a thing.

[Bob]

It's also a little temporary. I think it deletes after a while. But only. I think it may only be based on inactivity. So it might auto delete if it's not very active, which might be a good thing.

[Mark]

Yeah. Which is perfect because if you're not talking about it, we're not gonna do it.

[Bob]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark]

I like this. This is interesting. This is dangerous.

[Bob]

This might be the greatest Constitution episode we've ever had. Three weeks from now camp.

[Mark]

Believe this. God damn it. I think that's why it's exciting because part of me is like, this is definitely going to go wrong in a way. We're not understanding right now. And it's going to be. It's hopefully going to be really funny, but it's potentially going to be just a huge pain in the ass. And we're gonna be like, never mind. We're not doing that part anymore. Back to normal.

[Bob]

We always have the ability. We can make it. We can make anything work or not work in accordance with our needs.

[Mark]

Plus, Wade has to participate in that part. He might not want to do bounties. I want to do bounties. I think that sounds funny, but you have participate in the political system we've invented.

[Wade]

We'll see about that.

[Mark]

No, you have to.

[Wade]

I'll see if I find a way out.

[Bob]

We'll see. That's fun too. We'll see if you find a way out.

[Wade]

Are there any other. Any other declarations or proposals?

[Bob]

I'm empty. I'm. I'm satisfied.

[Mark]

I'm just really excited now. I'm just thinking about stuff. I can't wait for the. I can't wait for this to come out so we could see how big of a mistake it is.

[Wade]

Well, in that case, I've got one final one and. Oh, is that the bridge we've come to? Guys, look. The bridge. Guess we'll cross it.

[Mark]

I think Wade has to host the next one.

[Bob]

Yeah, I think. Yes.

[Mark]

I think there's no winner here. We just did our civic duties to the distractible populace and. And then we're back. Back to the normal timeline next time.

[Wade]

So Constitution episodes. The host. Will there always host the following episode as well?

[Mark]

We can't disrupt the chain of succession. Yes, then it's. Then it's just arbiter.

[Wade]

Arbitrary.

[Mark]

Aside from the fact that the first ever host was completely arbitrary, I'm sure that the chain of succession back to the beginning of time of distractible is completely pure and undisturbed. I'm sure it's perfect.

[Bob]

Sure, it's great.

[Wade]

So do we skip wheels and all that then?

[Mark]

Yeah. Well, there's no winner. There's no points. I mean, if you wrote down points, you want to say, I guess I

[Wade]

did write down points. I can go through them.

[Mark]

They don't mean anything, but you could say them if you like them.

[Wade]

Oh, they mean something. Trust me. All right, Mark, you got points for sandy leg acid orifices putting Google on blast. F the system. Drink with no lid. Audience optimism. Good.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Wade]

Article, maybe. Good article. Good article. Points. Because we were going through the articles of the amendment at one point. Flags but better.

[Bob]

Boo.

[Mark]

Boo.

[Wade]

Too fast. Four stitches. And then I didn't give any more points because we determined they basically wouldn't matter. So I just kind of quit at that point. Bob, you got two points for drum rolls. You got a point for J power wheels. Bob is Edison. The Sly James smile you pulled off of whenever he was.

[Mark]

Didn't you say Bob is Edison?

[Wade]

Yeah, but I gave you a point because you inspired me.

[Mark]

Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it.

[Wade]

You got a Jim Carrey point. You saved mark with the PS2 cry deleting things from Wheel. I liked that. You gave some good amendment points and I gave you a point for cross that bridge. When we get to it, however many points there are, it doesn't matter because I also gave myself points that says more than them. So I win fair.

[Mark]

Well, but you don't win. But that's. But you do host the next one because you already won. But this is not another win. Just to be clear, for the.

[Wade]

As the host, I think I can call it a win.

[Mark]

Right? You know what? You can. But it goes on last season. This is after today, a new season is begun.

[Wade]

That means I'm in last place by less than.

[Mark]

Yeah, so it has no effect on anything. But you can have a win. You have the last win of last season.

[Wade]

That's the one thing I can say about last season is I at least got one win at the end.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Who won? Oh, I bet the subreddit knows.

[Bob]

I know it was not me.

[Mark]

Where is. Oh, where is it? There is a person who does update every week now. They do update the charts.

[Bob]

Oh, is that actually. No. Yes. Oh, as of that one, America versus Europe, I'm might have eked it 37 to 36.

[Wade]

Was I the 36?

[Bob]

No, Wade, you're at 31.

[Wade]

Oh, I'm in the 30s.

[Bob]

Yeah, you're in the 30s.

[Mark]

You weren't that far behind.

[Wade]

Oh, it felt like it. I hadn't hosted in two months.

[Mark]

Wait, who posted that? I can't find it. Where'd it go?

[Bob]

It's in the comments of the America versus Europe.

[Mark]

Right, right, right, right, right. They do it in the comments.

[Bob]

Far Writer 6, 9, 5, 2.

[Mark]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Far Writer 6592 I will. I will concede that I trust their name numbers. They seem to be very thorough. I think they do an honorable job.

[Wade]

So in that case, the final score is. Mark, 37, Bob 36, Wade 32.

[Mark]

Can I just say, I really love that they keep statistics on the season. Mark. Mark has 37. I have 36. Wade 32. But Wade has so few wheel spin points that it's not surprising. I've gotten 717 points off of wheel spins. Marcus gotten 670. Wade has 604 wheel spin points on the season.

[Bob]

No, without wheel spin points.

[Mark]

Oh, I read those backwards. Oh, Wade has the most. Wade has the most wheel spin points. You got 60 and I got 51 and Mark got 49.

[Bob]

Yeah. So he's an outlier.

[Wade]

I. I depend on the wheel. I only.

[Mark]

You just suck.

[Wade]

Yeah. Well, at least I can declare myself a winner.

[Mark]

But that means I lost on wins. But I had the most points on the season. I had 700. I had 40 more points than marketed

[Bob]

on the season, which I think goes to show that I'm not that low of a score, am I? Because if I'm scoring and Wade's scoring, but both of us think Wade doesn't deserve points.

[Wade]

That's true. Yeah. There's one thing I've learned, it's that

[Mark]

also I really like that they kept the number of times on the bonus. Number of bonus spins. 46, 3 spins, 35, 2 spins, 24, 1 spins. Those are supposed to have an equal chance on the wheel that we spin.

[Bob]

That is weighted. It's weighted. Rated per choice. It's like it incrementally gives it another chance. I get the cup.

[Wade]

You do. Congratulations, Mark, on winning that season.

[Mark]

One of these seasons, we're totally gonna. Actually, you know what? If there was a season we were gonna do it, I should. We should do the cup. This. I should send you an actual trophy. We'll make one.

[Bob]

Maybe the congressional budget will go towards getting us a goddamn trophy.

[Wade]

Who's won the previous seasons? I don't even know who our season seasonal winners have been.

[Bob]

I think we've each won once.

[Mark]

Yes, I think that's true, actually.

[Wade]

Out of four.

[Mark]

Well, so the. The first season is like the pre video era, which I don't know if we had people tracking that so closely. And it was kind of a whole different kind of wild west compared to the more structured season. But we did have winners. But I don't know. But I think in the last three years it's been. Each of us has won. I think. Think that's right because I think you won the last one, didn't you, Wade?

[Wade]

I couldn't tell you. I don't remember. I. I've at least won one. I know I won one of them.

[Mark]

I think I won two years ago. And I think Mark won the first season. Post video era.

[Wade]

I don't recall, but someone out there will tell us.

[Mark]

Some subreddit defend.

[Bob]

One of us.

[Mark]

Almost just choked on my cough drop.

[Wade]

Bob, you're immortal. You don't want to lose that point.

[Mark]

Just immediately kicked off the podcast. If I die. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. I could never. At my funeral, I expect you two to come busting in a stadium full of weeping mourners. It's celebrating my life. And Mark and Wade just.

[Bob]

He's off the show. He's out.

[Mark]

Take down the banners. He's not one of us.

[Wade]

We just graffiti the headstone with shame.

[Mark]

If you don't do it, I'll haunt your dicks.

[Bob]

All of our dicks.

[Mark]

It'll be alternating weekends or something like, you know, it'll be like child custody situation.

[Wade]

All right, well, that said, no winner speeches, no loser speeches. That's our constitution. So congrats to us for five years. We've done it. We've made episodes. We've stuck with it for five years.

[Bob]

I am so sick of you guys. I can't wait to be over with this.

[Mark]

He's not joking.

[Wade]

These shirts might be probably gone.

[Bob]

They're probably already gone in this one. We are doing it slightly differently.

[Mark]

The four XLs appear to be sold out.

[Bob]

Never mind.

[Mark]

I don't know. Look, I don't know.

[Wade]

I'll give you a point for that if I could. That's funny.

[Mark]

Anyway, yeah, Distractible shop. Go. It's there. You can.

[Wade]

There's stuff. Get the stuff.

[Bob]

Get the stuff.

[Wade]

If you haven't already, go. Follow Bob at my skirm. Mark at markiplier, me at minion777 or lordminion777. There was a post that told me I didn't even know how many sevens were in my name, so I want to make sure I got it right right that time. This is distractable. Follow the podcast. Keep up with us. Check out the Discord, check out the Reddit, check out the merch, and I guess I'll have another banger episode for you next time where the points will mean a lot more. Until then, podcast out.