Distractible Podcast: "Three Sentence Horror Stories"

Date: October 10, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

Episode Overview

In this spine-tingling and side-splitting episode, the Distractible trio—Mark, Wade, and Bob—revisit one of their favorite creative challenges: crafting ultra-short horror stories. With Halloween on the horizon, Bob leads them through a game where he states the opening line, and the contestants must complete it with two more sentences—the catch being those sentences must induce dread, dismay, or, at the very least, laughter.

Beyond the challenge, the episode is filled with their usual banter: gaming talk, personal antics, and debates about grammar, all while Mark and Wade compete in a desperate (and increasingly unhinged) battle for victory.

Main Segments & Key Topics

1. Small Talk & Recaps (05:12–15:13)

• Couch Episode Nostalgia: Bob reminisces about a past favorite (03:22), Wade clarifies hosting confusion, and the group jokes about rarely being in the same location.
• Wade's Domestic Life: Discusses newfound quiet at home after guests left; Bob and Wade chat about Wade’s son James and his precocious playground flirting.

  “He did full out loops around me.” – Wade (06:44)

• Mark’s Gaming Delight: Mark shares excitement over getting a Switch 2 from his brother and his obsession with Hades 2.

  “What a fun fucking game. What a fun fucking game. Am I right?” – Mark (08:46)

• The Joy of Recent Games: Conversation about game recommendations ("Dead Zone," "Jump Space," "Mega Bonk"), with side tangents about confusing game genres ("roguelike" v. "roguelite"), laughing at Mark's unique puzzle-solving methods, and loving frustration over their very different gaming styles.
• Punctuation Debates: A running gag takes shape about Wade’s tendency to use commas rather than clearly ending sentences.

2. Three Sentence Horror Stories Challenge (17:15–41:04)

• Rules Recap: Bob provides each contestant the start of a story, and they compete to finish with two scary sentences.
• Format Twist: This time, each story is three sentences (vs. two in prior episodes), which Mark claims is the perfect length for his comedic style.

Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Laboratory Horror (19:12)

  • Wade: Focuses on senses and ends with mysterious “they”
  • Mark: Adds horror with, “There was blood on the ceiling, the floor, the walls… even my favorite Chia Pet. It was loose.” (21:57)

    “It was loose.” – Mark (22:14)

• The IKEA Nightmare (23:30)

  • Mark: “These are in Swedish.” (23:47)

    Bob loses it: “If you want to just concede this point, I’ll allow that.” (24:04)

  • Wade: “The long hallways were mazes…And the people were definitely dead.” (24:29)

• Dog Biscuit Story (25:32)

  • Wade: “This was no longer my dog.”
  • Mark: Twists for comedy: “Now they too busy loving each other instead of me.” (26:08) referencing a cat named Gravy and “biscuits and gravy.”

• Potty Humor:

  • Mark asks, “Have you ever shit your pants in fear?” prompting conversation about horror-game bodily reactions.

  • “Maybe that’s just because I haven’t been in a real situation where my life has been threatened, but I just feel… is that an exaggeration?” – Mark (27:26)

• Scary Tape Story (36:11)

  • Mark’s horror: “Oopsie poopsie.” (36:44)
  • Bob: “How do I beat oopsie poopsie?” (37:23)

• Unhinged Prompts:

  • Mecha Hitler: Bob delivers the line, “I stared at my phone as Mecha Hitler reassured me that I had always been his favorite.” (37:43)
  • Wade and Mark both react with wild, surreal additions.

• Mark’s Winning Formula:

  • Frequent use of “oh no” or “oopsie poopsie” becomes a running strategy.

    “If you want to win this, you gotta put a lot of ‘oh no’s, a lot of ‘oopsies.’” – Mark (40:18)

3. Results, Points & Winner Banter (42:58–47:36)

• Point Tally: Bob lists the wild reasons each contestant gets points for, such as “Edge of Sleep,” “the Bulbonites,” “Oopsie Poopsie,” and “implied periods.” (42:58)

• Declared Tie: Points are spun on a virtual wheel; it looks briefly like a tie, but Mark is ultimately declared the winner after some “fixed” wheel conspiracy humor.

  “I think Bob’s got the fix button on there…” – Mark (46:19)

• Wade’s Loser Speech:

  “Two sentence horror stories—the maximum I can follow. Three sentences… it’s just too complex. I didn’t have a chance.” – Wade (46:45)

• Mark’s Winner Speech:

  “As we all know, three is only one more than two, and one sentence horror stories I was already good at. So, one plus two that I practiced equals three that I was going to be good at.” – Mark (47:15)

Notable Quotes & Timestamped Highlights

• "[Talking about Hades 2] Oh my god, what a fun fucking game. What a fun fucking game. Am I right?" – Mark (08:46)
• "There was blood on the ceiling, the floor, the walls... and even my favorite Chia Pet. It was loose." – Mark (21:57)
• "These are in Swedish." – Mark (23:47)
• "Oopsie poopsie!" – Mark (36:44)
• "If you want to win this, you gotta put a lot of ‘oh no’s, a lot of ‘oopsies.’" – Mark (40:18)
• "Two sentence horror stories—the maximum I can follow. Three sentences… it’s just too complex." – Wade (46:45)
• "As we all know, three is only one more than two...one plus two that I practiced equals three that I was going to be good at." – Mark (47:15)

Tone & Style

• Playful & Absurd: The hosts oscillate between genuine attempts at horror and relentless self-parody, with running jokes about commas, “scary tape,” and bodily functions.
• Supportive Competition: Bob attempts to boost Wade, who perpetually feels outmatched by Mark’s unhinged humor and wordplay, leading to comedic frustration.

Conclusion

This episode gives listeners a chaotic, hilarious, and occasionally unsettling dose of Halloween spirit, Distractible style. Whether you love horror, word games, or just hearing three friends try to out-do each other's stupidity, this episode is quintessential Distractible—and a perfect showcase for Mark’s particular brand of spooky nonsense.

Recommendation: Listen on the toilet, as Mark warns—there’s a high risk of “oopsie poopsie.”