Three Sentence Horror Stories

Summary

Distractible Podcast: "Three Sentence Horror Stories"

Date: October 10, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

In this spine-tingling and side-splitting episode, the Distractible trio—Mark, Wade, and Bob—revisit one of their favorite creative challenges: crafting ultra-short horror stories. With Halloween on the horizon, Bob leads them through a game where he states the opening line, and the contestants must complete it with two more sentences—the catch being those sentences must induce dread, dismay, or, at the very least, laughter.

Beyond the challenge, the episode is filled with their usual banter: gaming talk, personal antics, and debates about grammar, all while Mark and Wade compete in a desperate (and increasingly unhinged) battle for victory.

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Main Segments & Key Topics

1. Small Talk & Recaps (05:12–15:13)

• Couch Episode Nostalgia: Bob reminisces about a past favorite (03:22), Wade clarifies hosting confusion, and the group jokes about rarely being in the same location.
• Wade's Domestic Life: Discusses newfound quiet at home after guests left; Bob and Wade chat about Wade’s son James and his precocious playground flirting.

  “He did full out loops around me.” – Wade (06:44)

• Mark’s Gaming Delight: Mark shares excitement over getting a Switch 2 from his brother and his obsession with Hades 2.

  “What a fun fucking game. What a fun fucking game. Am I right?” – Mark (08:46)

• The Joy of Recent Games: Conversation about game recommendations ("Dead Zone," "Jump Space," "Mega Bonk"), with side tangents about confusing game genres ("roguelike" v. "roguelite"), laughing at Mark's unique puzzle-solving methods, and loving frustration over their very different gaming styles.
• Punctuation Debates: A running gag takes shape about Wade’s tendency to use commas rather than clearly ending sentences.

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2. Three Sentence Horror Stories Challenge (17:15–41:04)

• Rules Recap: Bob provides each contestant the start of a story, and they compete to finish with two scary sentences.
• Format Twist: This time, each story is three sentences (vs. two in prior episodes), which Mark claims is the perfect length for his comedic style.

Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Laboratory Horror (19:12)

  • Wade: Focuses on senses and ends with mysterious “they”
  • Mark: Adds horror with, “There was blood on the ceiling, the floor, the walls… even my favorite Chia Pet. It was loose.” (21:57)

    “It was loose.” – Mark (22:14)

• The IKEA Nightmare (23:30)

  • Mark: “These are in Swedish.” (23:47)

    Bob loses it: “If you want to just concede this point, I’ll allow that.” (24:04)

  • Wade: “The long hallways were mazes…And the people were definitely dead.” (24:29)

• Dog Biscuit Story (25:32)

  • Wade: “This was no longer my dog.”
  • Mark: Twists for comedy: “Now they too busy loving each other instead of me.” (26:08) referencing a cat named Gravy and “biscuits and gravy.”

• Potty Humor:

  • Mark asks, “Have you ever shit your pants in fear?” prompting conversation about horror-game bodily reactions.

  • “Maybe that’s just because I haven’t been in a real situation where my life has been threatened, but I just feel… is that an exaggeration?” – Mark (27:26)

• Scary Tape Story (36:11)

  • Mark’s horror: “Oopsie poopsie.” (36:44)
  • Bob: “How do I beat oopsie poopsie?” (37:23)

• Unhinged Prompts:

  • Mecha Hitler: Bob delivers the line, “I stared at my phone as Mecha Hitler reassured me that I had always been his favorite.” (37:43)
  • Wade and Mark both react with wild, surreal additions.

• Mark’s Winning Formula:

  • Frequent use of “oh no” or “oopsie poopsie” becomes a running strategy.

    “If you want to win this, you gotta put a lot of ‘oh no’s, a lot of ‘oopsies.’” – Mark (40:18)

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3. Results, Points & Winner Banter (42:58–47:36)

• Point Tally: Bob lists the wild reasons each contestant gets points for, such as “Edge of Sleep,” “the Bulbonites,” “Oopsie Poopsie,” and “implied periods.” (42:58)

• Declared Tie: Points are spun on a virtual wheel; it looks briefly like a tie, but Mark is ultimately declared the winner after some “fixed” wheel conspiracy humor.

  “I think Bob’s got the fix button on there…” – Mark (46:19)

• Wade’s Loser Speech:

  “Two sentence horror stories—the maximum I can follow. Three sentences… it’s just too complex. I didn’t have a chance.” – Wade (46:45)

• Mark’s Winner Speech:

  “As we all know, three is only one more than two, and one sentence horror stories I was already good at. So, one plus two that I practiced equals three that I was going to be good at.” – Mark (47:15)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamped Highlights

• "[Talking about Hades 2] Oh my god, what a fun fucking game. What a fun fucking game. Am I right?" – Mark (08:46)
• "There was blood on the ceiling, the floor, the walls... and even my favorite Chia Pet. It was loose." – Mark (21:57)
• "These are in Swedish." – Mark (23:47)
• "Oopsie poopsie!" – Mark (36:44)
• "If you want to win this, you gotta put a lot of ‘oh no’s, a lot of ‘oopsies.’" – Mark (40:18)
• "Two sentence horror stories—the maximum I can follow. Three sentences… it’s just too complex." – Wade (46:45)
• "As we all know, three is only one more than two...one plus two that I practiced equals three that I was going to be good at." – Mark (47:15)

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Tone & Style

• Playful & Absurd: The hosts oscillate between genuine attempts at horror and relentless self-parody, with running jokes about commas, “scary tape,” and bodily functions.
• Supportive Competition: Bob attempts to boost Wade, who perpetually feels outmatched by Mark’s unhinged humor and wordplay, leading to comedic frustration.

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Conclusion

This episode gives listeners a chaotic, hilarious, and occasionally unsettling dose of Halloween spirit, Distractible style. Whether you love horror, word games, or just hearing three friends try to out-do each other's stupidity, this episode is quintessential Distractible—and a perfect showcase for Mark’s particular brand of spooky nonsense.

Recommendation: Listen on the toilet, as Mark warns—there’s a high risk of “oopsie poopsie.”

Transcript

[Bob]

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[Mark]

Yeah, we basically don't leave the Internet ever.

[Wade]

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[Mark]

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[Wade]

Plans start at just $39.99 for your first year. Find out more at McAfee.com distractible cancel anytime terms apply.

[Mark]

This episode is brought to you by NOS Energy. NOS Energy exists to boost your horsepower. So it depends on what kind of boost you need. Are you prepping for an exam? Are you prepping for a job interview? Are you prepping to wake up in the morning? You a prepper?

[Bob]

Oh, I'm a big prepper.

[Wade]

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[Mark]

NOS Energy get after it. Find out [e-mail] that's-I n k n.

[Wade]

O s.com this episode is brought to you by Mentos Gum. Keep things fresh. It's important, right? And I'm not just talking about fresh breath. It's important to switch up your routine whenever you can. I just. I'm the person who can't help but chew. You put open a mint in your mouth, you're supposed to suck on it. I'm like swallow. So I kind of need gum.

[Bob]

You turn into a cartoon dog. I'm sorry. Next time we hang out, I'm giving you a mint just to see what happens.

[Wade]

Course, another way to refresh every day is with Mentos gum. Available in a range of fresh flavors like spearmint fresh mint and strawberry. Mentos Gum. Yes to fresh. This episode is presented to you by Battlefield 6. Rip through the skies in an aerial dogfight. Demolish your environment for strategic advantage.

[Bob]

Harness complete control over every action and movement. Every aspect of Battlefield's core gameplay has been honed to feel more fluid, responsive and immersive than ever ever before.

[Mark]

And with more maps, modes and ways to rally your squad, Battlefield 6 is the ultimate all out warfare experience. Available now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S and PC. Good evening gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode Ball zapping. Bob has a Romeo offspring, enjoys glorious gaming, then brings back the heebie jeebies.

[Bob]

Web like Wade has foot chafing, loves.

[Mark]

To bonk and pease himself.

[Bob]

Moleskin Mark gives Hades a Handy Blood's.

[Mark]

A pet and wastes Wade's grasp on grammar. From living apart to living on Luna.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Mark]

It'S time for three sentence horror stories.

[Bob]

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Markiplier's favorite podcast. Eh, can't confirm. Is it is.

[Mark]

Yeah, it is. Besides, of course, the Edge of Sleep.

[Bob]

Out now, Season one. Go. Just like it has been for three years. It's out now.

[Mark]

I'm not lying.

[Bob]

True, it's out now. But anyway, Mark Plier's second favorite podcast. We'll take it. I feel like we deserve the top spot, but what could I do about it? Anyway, I'm your host, Bob. I'm hosting because I won. Which. Winning that episode where we just sat on the couch and talked about whatever for like two hours is an accomplishment in a way. But. But also. That was fun. I wish that we could just do that more. That was nice.

[Wade]

Yeah, I want that one.

[Mark]

We'd have to be in the same place all the time, which is impossible.

[Bob]

Two of us are.

[Wade]

It's almost always been true too.

[Bob]

That's not. That's very untrue, actually. Yeah, I guess. Unless you're saying that we lived. Mark and I lived in the same state, but we lived pretty far away from each other in the same state.

[Wade]

How big can one state be?

[Bob]

Pretty big.

[Mark]

Pretty big. Okay, pretty big.

[Bob]

Anyway, if you've never seen the show before, I'm the host because I won the last one. These two guys are going to compete. They get points for me, the hosts, and then whoever wins host the next one. It's a very strict competition. Points are awarded. Points are awarded very carefully and thoughtfully, and not all in a haphazard and bullshit manner. And we always follow all of the rules. We have a very carefully planned out constitution, which we never forget parts and we always enforce consistently and fairly. So it's a really structured, really strict show that we run here, so hopefully that's what you signed up for. It's been a while since I hosted one, so maybe I'm misremembering, but I'm pretty sure that's accurate. I do have a episode prepared for today and I'm pretty excited about it. It might be a little revisit to an episode that we did about a year ago. It might be kind of fun.

[Wade]

Two sentence horror stories. Woohoo.

[Bob]

Well, we'll get to it when we get to it, but we always start with small talk and it's been like an actual well, like a week since couch episode, right? Oh, wait, that's not the last episode. Yeah, fuck no. Cut all that up. Why didn't you say anything?

[Wade]

I did. I said I won that one.

[Mark]

I was waiting for you to finish.

[Bob]

You said you won that one. Yeah, whatever. Fuck. It wasn't the couch. I liked the couch episode. The last one. Whoever hosted that piece of shit barely counts. Who was. Who was it? Clearly I remember couch one. No, the one between this and the couch one.

[Mark]

Oh, okay. All right. It was Wade.

[Wade]

It was Wade. It was Wade. Oh, man. You remember my Would you rather episode? It was really cool.

[Bob]

Oh, it was. I thought it was Mark. Okay, well, sorry, Wade.

[Wade]

Oh man. It's cool.

[Bob]

How you doing, man? You wanna. How's your. Got small talk. You want to go first?

[Wade]

Me? Oh, me little. Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm pretty good. We finally don't have people in our house and I don't know what to do about it. It's like, can I sit in some peace and quiet for a second? I don't know.

[Bob]

I come over if you want bring James.

[Wade]

Yeah, sure. I like James and James really likes Molly, so that's fine.

[Bob]

Yeah, he loves Molly. And whoever Molly's husband is, that's pretty.

[Wade]

Much the other dude. Listen, he's gonna be a. He's gonna be a problem. He is a ladies man and he can. I wouldn't say. He could barely walk cuz he's like running now.

[Mark]

Yeah, that's true.

[Wade]

He did full out loops around me.

[Bob]

Yeah, no, he's got blue eyes, blonde hair, he's a big flirt. He's always flirting with girls that are older than him at the playground. His instinct, if he sees any, it's any kids. But he gravitates towards the girls, but especially if they're like five to 10 years older than him. He immediately just walks up and it's like, hi, I'm James. You want to hold hands?

[Wade]

He's going to be like 8 years old, trying to go to Prague.

[Bob]

Well, I think he had the day of his life. One time we're at a park. It was mostly a little kids park, but there was a group of high school girls that were just hanging out off to the side, just sitting, talking in a circle and he was doing swings and whatever and he saw them and ran right over and sat down in the circle and didn't even introduce himself, just sat down and they were all kind of like. And just kept going and like included him because he was just a cute little kid. And he just sat there and was like, it's working. My dreams are coming true.

[Wade]

And that's pretty much it for me.

[Mark]

I me, I have a game that I'm actually playing and I'm super excited about it. So my brother famously can't get me gifts because I usually buy the cool things for myself right away. But one thing I have not gotten is a switch 2. Because, you know, I'm not gonna go on ebay and get that. Even though I go on ebay for deals, not for me being stealed.

[Wade]

They're accessible now. I don't think you have to. You can just get them.

[Mark]

Are they? Well, I have one already.

[Bob]

Yeah, you could, you could just go get one.

[Mark]

Well, don't diminish my brother's gift to me.

[Bob]

Your brother did a great job.

[Mark]

Thank you, Bob.

[Wade]

Maybe he got it before they were easily accessible.

[Mark]

He did actually, because he did. He pulled a weight. He bought it like six months ago and then it was sitting in his closet ever since.

[Bob]

So.

[Mark]

But it's only because he wasn't playing it, because he didn't have a game to play. But then when he heard I didn't have one and wanted one, he handed it to me and the first thing I got was Hades 2, which I didn't even realize had come out.

[Wade]

You're great things.

[Mark]

Oh my God, what a fun fucking game. What a fun fucking game. Am I right? What a fun game.

[Bob]

Fun. That's not what I thought that was about.

[Mark]

Okay, yeah, no, a lot, A lot of that. Yeah. You know, who knie pop? But basically that. But with the Greek gods.

[Bob]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Wade]

Aphrodite.

[Mark]

Oh, wait, killing. Sorry, did I say same difference? One gives life, one takes it away.

[Bob]

Oh, Ness.

[Mark]

It'S so. I loved Hades 1. I played the crap out of it. I love Hades 2. I love all the characters. It's just. Is so well polished. It's. The gameplay is so tight, the story is so interwoven into it and. Oh, it's just so fun. It's so fun. It's like the same recipe that they had before. It's very little has changed from one to another. I'd have to do apple sale, apples comparison, know exactly what changes. But it feels really, really, really good. Oh, it's super fun.

[Wade]

It's a roguelike game, right?

[Mark]

Yeah, rogue, like road, roguelite, whatever the terminology is.

[Bob]

I don't know if any rogue game is technically roguelike anymore because there's so many like spin off sub types and.

[Mark]

I have no idea. I think this one would have to be called Rogue Lite, because Rogue, like, would be like the original Rogue, which you really didn't have upgrades coming out of there.

[Wade]

Oh, okay. So this is the one where you get some upgrades over time.

[Bob]

It's like you actually. Rogue, like, is you literally start from scratch every single time, right?

[Mark]

Yeah. Whereas this one is. Is starting over as part of the story, and it is part of the progression, and it's actually the iterativeness is part of it. And they've so integrated that into the gameplay and the rest of it that it's just super fun.

[Bob]

Oh, man.

[Mark]

I'm only a few hours into it, but, oh, it's so good. It's so goddamn good. What a great game.

[Bob]

I love that feeling. It's been a good stretch of games for me lately. I have not actually played Hades 2. I did like the first one, but I've also had a few games come out that are, like, not Triple A titles, but still pretty big games. Dead Zone, Rogue, Jump Space, Abyssus. These are all specific games where they're like, first person.

[Wade]

I'm playing Jump Space in a couple of days. I'm not played it yet.

[Bob]

Yeah, it's so fun. Oh, my God. But I get that feeling where you just play it and you're like, oh, this is exactly what I hoped it would be. God, yes. It's been a good stretch of that. And I know they're like a sponsor or whatever this is. This is not sponsored. I'm just excited Battlefield is coming. I'm excited for that. Based on the experience in the beta.

[Wade]

Oh, we've not got to play with Mark, but Bob and I played a bunch of it.

[Bob]

A serious stretch of fun stuff.

[Wade]

And we laughed our asses off with some of the shenanigans we did. Combat Medic. No notes.

[Bob]

No. It's going to be beautiful. But yeah, I'm excited to play Hades 2 also, because I do. I like. I like the first one. I like games like that. I just. I didn't realize it was on Switch, too. I might do that.

[Wade]

I've heard Mega Bonk is good, too.

[Mark]

Mega Bonk.

[Wade]

I think that's what it's called. Mega Bonk.

[Mark]

Mega Bonk. Haven't heard of it.

[Wade]

I've had a lot of. Some people tell me that megabunk's a lot of fun, too. I don't know much about it. It's just another game I've heard people talking about recently.

[Mark]

Oh, it's got an interesting style I'm interested in just for the aesthetics. Right. Now it looks like runescape, but I think it plays like way more enemies.

[Wade]

I think it plays like Vampire Survivor type thing.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like those old arcade top down kind of adventure crawlers.

[Bob]

I just see a skeleton wearing sunglasses doing a kickflip, so that's pretty much all I need to hear about.

[Wade]

I see a guy who looks kind of like Wolverine, just flexing while rockets come out of his head.

[Mark]

Yep.

[Wade]

Apparently a lot of good games right now.

[Bob]

Yeah, it's been quite, quite the stretch.

[Mark]

Yeah, it's good time for games, which is, I imagine this might be the last era of good games before the AI takes over and makes us all play terrible AI games for the rest of forever.

[Wade]

I just hope Blueprints gets a sequel before then. Or a dlc.

[Mark]

The boring, stupid game that nobody likes.

[Wade]

Look, man, some of us played the game and some of us went to miss Paint and zoomed in for three hours.

[Mark]

Look.

[Bob]

Hey, I solved it, didn't I?

[Mark]

I solved the puzzle.

[Bob]

I did.

[Mark]

Eventually.

[Wade]

You could have solved it in three minutes by like looking around.

[Mark]

No, no looking around. More like cheating. I don't do that.

[Wade]

Yeah, yeah, that was. Watching me play games is painful. Watching that was. It was something else.

[Mark]

So fun, right? The opposite.

[Bob]

Watching that was the best experience of my life.

[Wade]

Oh, you just had to find a magnifying glass, dude, that's it.

[Mark]

I remember the first time I fell in love. Paled in comparison to my video of blueprints.

[Wade]

One magnifying glass would have saved you all that pain.

[Mark]

Who has a magnifying? Do you have a magnifying glass?

[Bob]

No, he does not.

[Wade]

In at least 30% of my runs, probably.

[Bob]

Oh, is that a thing in the game? Yeah. I haven't actually played that game, so I think it's fair for me not to know that. Didn't you play it? Shouldn't you know that, Mark? Why would I know that?

[Mark]

I didn't get everything I got, barely. I got to the first puzzle and.

[Bob]

Then I had to open Ms.

[Mark]

Paint. You heard this guy, dude, he went.

[Wade]

Into like four rooms. So puzzled, he's like, what if I take this to Photoshop?

[Mark]

I did. I did my due diligence.

[Bob]

That's fair.

[Mark]

Just because my diligence is more due than yours doesn't mean that I'm any.

[Wade]

You had more dedication to solving that puzzle the hardest way possible that anyone I've ever met.

[Mark]

Looking closely at it and tracing the letters. I think there were harder ways and I was about to find them. But then I solved it. Well, I Didn't solve it, but yeah.

[Bob]

Pretty fooled to claim that that's the hardest way you could possibly solve that puzzle. He didn't even get Barely started in that video.

[Wade]

Man, it might have been easier to brute force the letters and just guess the password. I don't know. That was.

[Mark]

There was a punishment for brute force. Wasn't there a punishment for not getting it right? There was a punishment you couldn't do. Unlimited, right? I had a self imposed punishment for doing it. My. My testicular torture device was set to maximum every time I got it wrong. You guys don't have that?

[Wade]

No, man.

[Bob]

I keep mine on low.

[Mark]

Oh, man, what a wuss.

[Wade]

Low.

[Bob]

I'm not a real gamer. I keep my ball zapper on low. Any other small talk? Anything else going on? Those were really. Those were good ones. Even yours, Wade.

[Wade]

Thanks. I just stole James stories and made it my small talk.

[Bob]

No, that counts. All out. This episode is brought to you by Panda Express. If someone wanted to tell me that they love me, all they would need to do is get me some honey walnut shrimp from Panda Express. The message would not be lost in translation. In fact, I might even rather have honey walnut shrimp than words from an actual human mouth hole. If you're trying to get a message to me, honey walnut shrimp, however you want to say it, say it with delicious, authentically cooked American Chinese cuisine from Panda Express. Have you eaten yet? Order now or visit the Panda Express near you.

[Wade]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit Snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.

[Mark]

Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide us with stuff. Sustainable future.

[Bob]

Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.

[Mark]

Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

[Wade]

It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions. Please use responsibly.

[Mark]

This episode is brought to you by Battlefield 6. Take on epic battlefield action with a whole new level of control. Drop into multiplayer with your squad or fight furiously as a member of the Dagger 13 squad in a single player campaign, harnessing complete control over every movement in Your aerial dogfights, close quarter combats, and strategic demolitions using the kinesthetic combat system. Find out why Battlefield 6 is the ultimate all out warfare experience available now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S and PC.

[Bob]

Keep it in.

[Mark]

Keep that in.

[Bob]

I'm excited for this today because we are going to be revisiting a video or an idea that I hosted about a year ago. And Wade, you had a guess as to what it might be and you were close. Okay, but I'm gonna give you the segue point. And by you were close, I mean you were pretty much right because we're doing three sentence horror. Stor three. Yeah. Look, I know two was a lot to ask, and I know some of us had a hard time with some of that.

[Wade]

O.

[Bob]

So I was like, well, how can I. How can we do this again? Because it is the scary season. It's that month when it's. Everything can be scary. What if I give you extra sentence to work with? So I'm still going to give you one sentence and then you get two whole sentences to make it a scary story. Oh, don't look like that. This is for. This is for you. No, this is me.

[Mark]

No, this is my excited face. I'm excited.

[Bob]

You look excited.

[Wade]

He's only excited because he's playing Hades 2 right now.

[Bob]

Yeah. No mark staring down at the Switch 2. Like, need more Hades. Oh, no.

[Mark]

I've got VFX questions.

[Bob]

Oh, that's just as fun.

[Mark]

Oh, it's so thrilling. Guys, don't worry. It's. It's really good. We're. We need more Houdini licenses. Hope you know.

[Bob]

Sounds fun. Sounds like a great pastime.

[Mark]

It is. Oh, man, it is.

[Bob]

All right, well, since I was going to flip a coin, but since Mark is busy, Wade, you get to go first.

[Wade]

Yay.

[Bob]

All right, three sentence horror stories. I'm going to give you the first sentence and you're going to give me two follow up sentences to turn it into a horror story.

[Wade]

I somehow feel like I'm going to be worse at this one than I was last time.

[Bob]

Yeah, well, the expectation is that you're going to crush it, so.

[Wade]

Yeah, but I feel like the one sentence I had the two sentence down, adding an extra layer is like. Okay, need a filler sentence.

[Bob]

All right, Wade, start us off strong. I believe in you. As we entered the laboratory, I knew immediately that something was different.

[Wade]

The smell in the air was off. The feeling of the ground under my feet was off. Something was seriously wrong.

[Mark]

Wasn't that too. Those Are commas. These are commas.

[Wade]

These are commas.

[Bob]

They're semicolons at best. Calm down here.

[Wade]

They're commas.

[Mark]

Unless he's doing. Unless he's doing the full Oxford comma. And he goes, comma.

[Wade]

And smell in the air was off, comma. The feel of the ground under my feet was off, comma.

[Bob]

Those are just separate phrases. I would argue, though, those need to be separate sentences, sir. But.

[Wade]

Okay, no, no, definitely, comma, and then.

[Mark]

And it would be the feeling under my toes.

[Bob]

Feet.

[Wade]

Lines, commas, with an and. With an and. Now I'm off my game. What was my punchline? Guys, Third sentence.

[Bob]

Start again. You can do it.

[Wade]

Read. Read me in. Read me in.

[Bob]

As we entered the laboratory, I knew immediately that something was different.

[Wade]

Smell in the air, comma, the feeling of the ground under my feet, comma, and what I saw before me. It was all wrong. And that's when they appeared. Who?

[Bob]

He's not. A sentence we don't get to know.

[Wade]

I guess that's not our sentences. Yeah, comma. Two sentences in a row. I'm not a psychopath.

[Bob]

That must be what's scary. It's they. They're scary.

[Mark]

That would have been the moment for a semicolon. And that's when they appeared. Semicolon. The Bulbanites.

[Bob]

I don't know what Bulba Knights are, but I don't like the look of it.

[Wade]

No, trust me. It really adds a lot whenever you give it another nonsensical work.

[Mark]

I gotta save my. I gotta save my goodness for. My turn. Guys, hold on. Don't give him my points.

[Wade]

Yeah, I can't wait for yours, man.

[Bob]

All right. Do you need a second or are you.

[Mark]

I'm good. Hold on.

[Wade]

I'm good. Hold on.

[Mark]

Go ahead. I'm ready.

[Wade]

I'm good. Karma. Hold on, comma.

[Mark]

I can have two conversations at the same time. I do it all the time.

[Bob]

All right, Mark, maybe what you need is a good distraction because that'll free your mind for this to just be flow of consciousness. It's going to be great. As we entered the laboratory, I knew immediately that something was different.

[Mark]

Oh, my God. Do I get the same one that he does?

[Bob]

Yeah, it's a face to face.

[Mark]

Is that how that worked last time? I don't remember.

[Bob]

Yeah, no. I picked whose I liked more on each one, I believe. Maybe that's not what I did. That's what I'm doing now. Okay.

[Mark]

All right. I'm so ready. Give it to me.

[Bob]

Yeah, you're okay. Gotcha. Gotcha Gotcha. As we entered the laboratory, I knew immediately that something was different.

[Mark]

There was blood on the ceiling, comma, the floor, comma, the walls, comma, the desks, comma, and even my favorite Chia Pet.

[Bob]

Oh, no.

[Mark]

It was loose.

[Bob]

Oh.

[Wade]

Man. You know, I was going to protest that mine was better, but then he put blood on the Chia Pet, and I don't know if I can top that.

[Mark]

My favorite Chia Pet.

[Bob]

Not his favorite. The Abraham Lincoln Chia Pet.

[Wade]

You're right. If you don't feed him and clean up his poop, he'll die. Wait, those were Tom Ogot. That was. Nevermind. That was a different thing. Chia Pet's like the plan.

[Mark]

The Abraham Lincoln one will die as well, and it will be very tragic. You'll know when the play starts.

[Wade]

Chia Pet's the one where that grass grows out and gives it hair, right?

[Mark]

Yeah. The grass, not the Chia.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Wade]

I didn't know Chia was a type of grass. I just thought it was the brand.

[Bob]

She is a thing you can eat. Chia seeds are commonly put into, like, overnight oats and things of that nature. You can eat it.

[Wade]

Listen, as a child, it was grass. And you grew grass out of.

[Mark]

Literally named the thing that grows on it.

[Wade]

Well, I didn't know that.

[Bob]

Wade didn't have Chia Pet money. Wade grew up with grass pets.

[Wade]

I had the little keychain of the frog that poops and you have to feed it for it.

[Bob]

I thought that was more expensive.

[Wade]

Well, that's what I had. Man. We were rich, poor.

[Bob]

Wade didn't have to settle for plants.

[Wade]

We were on the richer end of poor, so I got that.

[Mark]

I know. Never had a chipette, so I guess I can't really say, but.

[Bob]

All right, Mark, are you ready?

[Mark]

Yeah. Huh?

[Bob]

I had never been to IKEA before, but this is not what I expected. Oh. Oh.

[Mark]

These are in Swedish.

[Bob]

Is that a comma or a period between.

[Mark]

That was a, uh.

[Wade]

Oh, actually. Exclamation. These are in Swedish.

[Bob]

All right, Wade, if you want to just concede this.

[Mark]

I'm crushing it this time. I'm crushing it.

[Wade]

How could I follow that up?

[Bob]

If you want to just concede this point, I'll allow that. But it is your turn to try and compete. I knew, too. I knew an extra sentence was all Mark needed to really get there.

[Wade]

I feel like I have to try. It makes him look even better.

[Bob]

All right, wait. Here we go. I had never been to IKEA before, but this was not what I expected.

[Wade]

The long hallways Were mazes. Mazes I couldn't find the end of. And the people were definitely dead.

[Mark]

These hallways were mazes. Comma.

[Wade]

Like my sentence structure.

[Mark]

I just don't think that that's. I think that that's two sentences.

[Bob]

I'm sorry, man. If. If you use commas in that way, I will allow it.

[Wade]

I do.

[Bob]

I'm not going to comment on whether I think that's correct or not grammatically because it's pretty subjective what is or is not correct. But I would ask how I would write it. But I will allow it. Doesn't really matter, because I think Mark takes that one. No, no, that's pretty much open and shut case.

[Wade]

How can I beat this sentence?

[Mark]

Oh, it's really hard in a horror movie. You hear, oh, that's bad news, guys.

[Wade]

And then Swedish. I mean, man, hearing Ethan go, the berg again, truly terrifying.

[Bob]

Are sweet. Ish.

[Mark]

That was not Sweden, man.

[Wade]

Sweet had good food.

[Bob]

Yeah, they did.

[Wade]

I do actually remember eating there.

[Bob]

Never eaten so many meatballs. All right, Wade, are you ready?

[Wade]

Sorry.

[Bob]

Go ahead. My little dog Biscuit, had always been so affectionate.

[Wade]

But something was different today. This was no longer my dog.

[Bob]

I could see that getting kind of scary, kind of horror y. I'm just.

[Wade]

Shooting for average, you know, just going for hours. You guys have me afraid of commas now, so we're just going in with a short sweet.

[Mark]

This is the psychological warfare I've put out on my opponent. It's working. It's working. I've got this.

[Wade]

It's working. It's working.

[Bob]

I'm Warfared Smart's episode. All right, Mark, I'll read you in.

[Mark]

I'm ready.

[Bob]

My little dog Biscuit, had always been.

[Mark]

So affectionate until our cat Gravy came along. Now they too busy loving each other instead of me.

[Wade]

Yeah, Biscuits and gravy.

[Mark]

You know, biscuits.

[Wade]

It's a great pun.

[Mark]

Yeah, I love it.

[Bob]

I threw the name in there to. To sort of vamp on. I can. I could see that. Yeah, no, that's good.

[Mark]

Sorry, I didn't mean to make everyone cry.

[Wade]

I was gonna say, man, it was so scary, it brought tears to my eyes.

[Mark]

That's why I should have run to the cry toilet instead of the pooping toilet.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Wade]

No, the thought of your pets liking each other is terrifying.

[Bob]

What's that warning you always throw out there, Mark?

[Wade]

You're.

[Bob]

You're gonna.

[Mark]

You're gonna.

[Bob]

You should. You should have warned us.

[Mark]

You gotta listen to this episode in the bathroom. Have you guys ever shot yourself in fear?

[Wade]

No.

[Bob]

In Fear? No. Does it count if I was afraid? I was gonna myself, and then I myself.

[Mark]

No. No, that's not.

[Bob]

Because that might help.

[Mark]

No, because it's like in media, you see characters piss themselves all the time in fear, shit themselves all the time. You hear about that. I've never come close to peeing my pants in fear or pooping my pants in fear. And I played a lot of horror games. Maybe that's just because I haven't been in a real situation or my life has been threatened, but I just feel. Is that exaggeration?

[Wade]

I've had friends piss themselves from laughing.

[Bob]

But never fear because of how my brain works. I have actually thought about this exact question a lot, Mark. And I've arrived at the conclusion that it must be that. I don't know. I don't know if people just live at a higher, like, level. When my tanks get any amount full, like a perceivable amount full pee or poo, I'm just like, I'll hit the bathroom. And I keep. I keep it on E. I'm that person when I play a survival game. I keep my food and water up, and I keep my sleep up, and I keep everything else empty. And I'm, like, obsessive about it. People must live like, they're like, I should probably eat the bathroom soup. Oh, I kind of got a pee. And then, like, suddenly you're in the middle of a horror scenario or something, and it like, you get so scared. You just happens.

[Wade]

I was recently. We hung out in person. We recorded that podcast episode, then we went to grab food. So as we were leaving the house, I was like, I should probably hit the bathroom before we go. But everyone's ready to go. I'll just go when we get to the restaurant. Completely forgot to go. We went to the restaurant. I got halfway home from there, and it hit, and it was like, oh, gas station. Just 15 more minutes. I can make it 15 more minutes, dude. I.

[Bob]

It was.

[Wade]

It was close.

[Mark]

He ruined his new car. Thankfully, it had already been waterlogged, so any additional liquid damage didn't do anything.

[Wade]

Yeah, thank God it was just the rental. Yeah.

[Mark]

Everybody home? I saw Wade's car.

[Bob]

It's sad. He keeps going to the rental place and renting the exact same one. It's like, please, my friends have to believe me. Can I have that one back, please? What do you mean? It's in Florida.

[Mark]

You must stop pissing in it, sir. You must.

[Wade]

Please. I thought it was piss to own.

[Bob]

Once I rent it, it's mine. I'LL do what I want. Aren't you guys supposed to clean it?

[Mark]

Pissed to own. I thought that was funny. Thanks.

[Wade]

Scrub it. Clean it.

[Mark]

Oh, I thought you meant to the editor.

[Wade]

Scrub that joke out.

[Bob]

Scrub it.

[Mark]

I was like, I thought that was funny. Thanks, editors. Kill it. Mark laughs.

[Wade]

I don't want it in there. That would have been funnier.

[Bob]

We got to keep this beef fresh, huh? All right, Mark, you ready?

[Mark]

Oh, God. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bob]

No, this one's a good setup. I think you're gonna kill this one.

[Wade]

Mm.

[Bob]

Drake, you came all the way from Pennsylvania. You don't. You don't remember who. Who this is? I remember this, but how am I.

[Mark]

Gonna play off of Wade's bit there? And when he's right.

[Bob]

Standing right there, show him up.

[Wade]

Can I. Can I help him? Here's what you do, Mark. You give two sentences. Okay?

[Bob]

All right. Yeah. Okay.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Mark]

Give me a name again.

[Bob]

Drake. You came all the way from Pennsylvania.

[Mark]

Yes, I did. To kill you, said the Pennsylvania Stabber. You didn't know there were parentheticals there?

[Bob]

Yeah, no, you could use your two sentences in however you choose.

[Mark]

It's like that, the Tick Tock Channel. What do you call it? Page Thing account that does the. The horror stories. Sure hope somebody doesn't stab me in my sleep. The butt stabber laughed under my bed. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I did a piss porch. Man. This is why I shouldn't do this shit.

[Bob]

Don't mess with my gang, or you'll have to meet Jerry. I actually really like those as a subgenre of. They're pretty funny, Wade. Try and beat that.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Idiot. Sorry.

[Mark]

I'm sorry I called you an idiot.

[Wade]

All right, lead me in.

[Bob]

Drake, you came all the way from Pennsylvania.

[Wade]

I came all this way just to see you. But the name is Drag.

[Bob]

Oh. If you don't know that one, then you're not a real listener.

[Wade]

Go to the subreddit, ask, and someone will point you in the right direction. Because I don't know what the right direction is.

[Bob]

That's true. It's not like I could tell you what episode that's actually from, so.

[Mark]

It's fine.

[Bob]

Wade, this. This next one, the sentence is slightly different for each of you because you're gonna say each other's names, okay? Okay.

[Wade]

Got it.

[Bob]

Well, I'm gonna say, but it said it, so. Wade, you go first. Yours is. I looked at the ice pick in my hand, then back up at Mark.

[Wade]

There was already blood all over it. Why was Mark smiling?

[Bob]

Because you can torture him as much as he wants.

[Mark]

Yeah, I was thoroughly enjoying it.

[Wade]

No, I was implying he'd already used it on me. Oh, okay.

[Bob]

All right.

[Mark]

I got an even better one. Hit me.

[Bob]

All right, I'll read you in. I looked at the ice pick in my hand, then back up at Wade.

[Mark]

Man, I only got one sentence, though.

[Bob]

Maybe there's bonus if you could do it in one sentence. Maybe that's bonus.

[Mark]

No, I could do it in one. How was he still standing after all those ice pick impacts on his skull?

[Bob]

No, you know what? I like that. It's like you're like an anime character. Like, you know, it's always. It's always very precisely explained.

[Mark]

Yes, exactly. You gotta fill a time slot.

[Bob]

You don't want to leave the details. You want to make sure you work all those words in there.

[Mark]

Oh, man. Making myself cry. I'm so funny.

[Wade]

No, you really brought it home there at the end.

[Mark]

I mean, scary, scary.

[Bob]

I'm so scary. I knew this was the one for you, Mark. Speaking of the one for you. Here you go, buddy. I had always enjoyed how calm riding a train made me feel.

[Mark]

Unfortunately, today I picked the scary train.

[Bob]

Oh, man.

[Mark]

Yep, it's easy. Platforms are right next to each other. You really don't want to get the one that all black coal spillowing.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's just. It's such a simple mistake. But it really. It's important.

[Wade]

Oh, man. My options were wary train, scary train, and hairy train. Damn it.

[Mark]

Actually, the hairy train would be very, very scary.

[Bob]

Well, good luck, Wade.

[Wade]

Thanks.

[Bob]

You wanna reach in? Yeah.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

I had always enjoyed how calm riding.

[Wade]

A train made me feel on this particular day. The ride had been butt call and the track had ended miles ago.

[Bob]

Well, that was a period that time. Okay. I was just. I was just thinking, like, comma, oh.

[Mark]

That and was a period.

[Wade]

Oh, you'll know when it's a comma.

[Bob]

All right, Wade, that's me. It was my turn, and I hesitantly reached down and spun the bottle one more time.

[Wade]

It spun, comma, and spun, comma, and spun, period. By the time it ended, I looked up, comma, and what I saw, no human eye should ever have to see.

[Bob]

There's no comma in that second sentence. It's just one sentence.

[Mark]

I don't even think the first one needed commas.

[Wade]

But I didn't say, comma.

[Bob]

You did say comma.

[Wade]

I said comma. The first sentence, comma, comma, comma.

[Bob]

You said a comma in the second sentence. You said that. By the time I looked up, comma, my eyes saw Comma what? Human, comma, eyes, comma, should never see.

[Wade]

Comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, comedy, basically.

[Bob]

Look, I'm gonna overlook the punctuation. But wait. I am gonna request that if you. You specify if it's a comma or a period for the remainder of the episode so that we can avoid these sorts of disputes. Fine.

[Wade]

Exclamation point.

[Bob]

All right, Mark, it was my turn, so I hesitantly reached down and spun the bottle one more time.

[Mark]

After kissing Grandma, I thought it couldn't get any worse, but this family reunion was about to take a real dark turn. Oh, that was. But period. But put a dot, dot, dot, anywhere.

[Wade]

In there after kissing. Ellipses.

[Bob]

Grandma. Ellipses.

[Mark]

I thought it couldn't get anywhere.

[Bob]

Man, this is an absolute slobber knocker. You guys are killing it.

[Mark]

I'm having a great time. You guys always shit on, you know, your own episodes.

[Bob]

You seem like you're having more fun this time than last time. Last time, there was a lot of this time. You're. You're in it. And this next one is for you, Mark.

[Mark]

Okay. All right.

[Bob]

I put this in for four. You. And you get to go first on this one.

[Mark]

Yeah. Also, side note, a slobber knocker refers to a hard fought match or aggressive encounter.

[Wade]

When did that come up? Question mark?

[Bob]

Because I said, this is a real slobber knocker. It's a word I said out loud in the previous thing I said, O, comma, right?

[Wade]

Period.

[Mark]

Do you think I just define random words? I guess I do.

[Wade]

I have no idea.

[Bob]

Interesting fact. The grundle is defined as the space between the back of your balls and your butthole.

[Mark]

I thought that was the taint.

[Bob]

It's also called the grundle. Oh, Mark, this one's for you. Are you ready?

[Mark]

Yes.

[Bob]

I didn't realize until I was all the way home that I accidentally bought the scary tape.

[Wade]

Man.

[Mark]

Done. What do I need to add? What do I need?

[Wade]

That's it.

[Bob]

That's the whole story.

[Mark]

All right. Okay, wait, no. Give it to him again.

[Bob]

I didn't realize until I was all the way home that I accidentally bought the scary tape.

[Mark]

Oh.

[Bob]

Oopsie poopsie. Is that.

[Mark]

Is that a comma or oh, oopsie poopsie lipsies?

[Wade]

That's. That's what I got.

[Bob]

Man.

[Wade]

How could I follow this up?

[Bob]

Are you ready, Wade?

[Wade]

Yeah, yeah, man. I just. I'll just take the l here.

[Bob]

But, yeah, I didn't realize until I was all the way home that I accidentally bought the scary Tape.

[Wade]

I wrapped it around my broken cane, but then I realized it was wrapping around me, period. For the second time. The first period was implied.

[Bob]

Man, I knew I put that one in there for Mark. I just.

[Wade]

Yeah, I can't.

[Bob]

How do I be.

[Wade]

Oopsie Poopsie.

[Mark]

Don't forget the oh, the oh in there.

[Wade]

Oh, I didn't forget the oh.

[Bob]

It's the setup. And the Oopsie poopsie really hit it out of the park, Wade.

[Wade]

Yeah, man, I forgot.

[Bob]

These could increasingly unhinge the further doubt I wrote them. So these are starting to get. Okay, wait. Here you go.

[Wade]

I'm ready for this Slobber knocker.

[Bob]

I stared at my phone screen as Mecca Hitler reassured me that I had always been his favorite.

[Wade]

Okay, sorry. I need a moment for that one. I wasn't ready.

[Bob]

Process. Yeah, surprise, Mecca.

[Wade]

You know, now, I had on my bingo card for. For this. Okay, sorry. Can you leave me one more time?

[Bob]

I stared at my phone screen as Mecca Hitler reassured me that I had always been his favorite.

[Wade]

I touched the screen, comma, Spider man holding or no, Wolverine holding the picture frame style. And then I turned around to see him standing there. We could just say I lose. Okay, man, we don't have to.

[Bob]

It's okay. You never know. Mark might lose his touch. You never know. It might fall off.

[Wade]

I feel like I've lost my. I can't do three sentences for some reason. This is so much harder than two.

[Bob]

Mark, are you ready?

[Mark]

I don't think so, because, you know, I don't think I'm gonna do any better.

[Bob]

Lead him in.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob]

Well, just you wait.

[Mark]

It's just because I'm. I'm in pain. And all the genius that's being channeled through my neurons right now.

[Wade]

Oh, man.

[Mark]

To bear the intensity of these amazing thoughts. I am merely a conduit to the genius of my subconscious. I said to Mecca Hitler.

[Bob]

Ah, shit. All right, how about we do one more and Mark gets to go first? And this one's for you again, buddy. You ready, Mark? No. Okay, good. I shot awake at 4am moon time to the sound of children laughing.

[Mark]

What's moon time?

[Bob]

It's implying that this person lives on the moon. Oh, I would not have gotten that. Wait.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Bob]

All right, all right. Let me edit it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I shot awake in my moon house at 4am moon time to the sound of children laughing on the moon.

[Mark]

I checked my moon clock to confirm my horrors. Oh, no. I said, comma, I'm on the moon.

[Bob]

Yeah, see?

[Mark]

Wait. If you want to win this, you got to put a lot of oh nos, a lot of ohs, a lot of oopsies.

[Wade]

Yeah, I'm starting to see the strategies.

[Bob]

You gotta have more exclamations, man.

[Wade]

I'm not going to follow that at all, though. I'm not going to follow that at all.

[Bob]

All right, wait. Are you ready?

[Wade]

Lead me in.

[Bob]

I shot awake in my moon house at 4am moon time to the sound of children laughing on the moon.

[Wade]

Their laughing turned to screaming and crying, period. There's not supposed to be anyone else on the moon. Oh.

[Bob]

Oh. He did it. Damn it.

[Mark]

Damn it. Why did I give him my strategy?

[Bob]

He worked it in.

[Wade]

Oh me, oh my.

[Bob]

Well, happy Halloween, everybody. I hope you don't have too much shit in your pants after all of those horror stories that we just regaled you with. I hope you heeded Mark's warning. And watch this one on the pooper. Because there's basically no chance you held it all inside.

[Wade]

No oopsie poopsies out there for you.

[Bob]

Just the purest form of terror we could muster. This episode is brought to you BY T Mobile 5G Home Internet. I'm sure everyone can agree with me when I say that nowadays, everything in your house keeps getting smarter. Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet. Everything. What isn't smart? Luckily, t mobile 5G home Internet makes it easy to keep all your devices connected. With their quick one cord setup, you can hop online in literally 15 minutes or less. They've also got fast speeds, a price that works for any budget, and a five year price guarantee. So if you're looking for Internet that keeps up with you, connect to T Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15 minute setup and 5 year price guarantee. Visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check availability. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions and details@t mobile.com homeinternet don't.

[Wade]

You want that, Max Cooper loves that shoe too.

[Bob]

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow, he is loving it. What do you feed Cooper?

[Wade]

Blue Buffalo Life protection Formula.

[Bob]

He never leaves a crumb.

[Mark]

I love it because it's made with.

[Bob]

High quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and.

[Wade]

Veggies, and wholesome whole grains.

[Bob]

Looks like we're switching to Blue Blue Buffalo. Foods are made with the superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive. Can your dog food say that visit.

[Wade]

Feedbluefood.Com to learn more.

[Bob]

Mark, you got points for Edge of Sleep. Moleskin. Thanking Bob. Good games. The Bulbonites. It was loose. These are in Swedish. Ice pick Impacts Kissing Grandma Ellipses. Oopsie, poopsie. And I said to Mecca Hitler.

[Wade]

I must have gotten zero points. You know what? I concede.

[Bob]

Wait, you got points for. I'm sorry I insulted you so much at the beginning. I really didn't. I wasn't trying to. Felt like I was setting that up and I just really dug into you and like I.

[Wade]

You wrote all that down.

[Bob]

Basically. You got point for being Molly's husband. You got a point for Mega Bonk. Some of us played the game. You got the segue. Point you got point for. Those are commas. Not my dog. It's Pisschohn. The name is Drac. You'll know commas when you see him. And your implied periods. Yes, I was desperately hunting for things to give you points for. Anyway, somehow you both ended up with 11 points. What a slobber knocker. Two.

[Wade]

Two.

[Bob]

How many bonus points shall it.

[Wade]

Bob's hosting a one man show soon, probably.

[Bob]

Do we have one? That's like the scariest story. I don't think we have that.

[Wade]

Not that I know of. No. You could just say, mark, point man. I can't top anything he's ever said.

[Bob]

Scariest contribution. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

[Wade]

Oh, no. I'm on the moon.

[Bob]

Two spins. Here we go.

[Mark]

Like it sticks in your mind. My story is like Stephen King.

[Bob]

It does stick in your mind. It really gets in there. Oh, fuck.

[Wade]

Sudden death. It's a tie. What a crazy result.

[Bob]

Does that mean it's over and we have to just go to the other wheel? Is that what that means?

[Mark]

The original rules are that. That it's over. No more spins? You do that in the past we spun after it. But I think the original intentional rules was. That's it. We go onto the bonus wheel.

[Bob]

Well, it's reset because we haven't spun it before yet. So what does it start at? It starts at like 8% or something, right?

[Mark]

6. I think it's. Yeah, it's 6. 6%. Yeah.

[Bob]

Look at where it was. 6. Jesus Christ. All right, so what is. I have to do math crap?

[Mark]

Okay, it's 360, so that should divide evenly. That's why we did six.

[Bob]

But what is this? So it's 0.06 times 360. 21.6. We usually round up the rest of the time. So I'll Just set it at 21. There's no way, no shot that this is gonna land on the one man show.

[Wade]

I don't know how we write another one man show after, like, three episodes.

[Bob]

Literally, the last thing in my book still is the one man show and then this one. All right, well, it's not gonna happen, so I'm not gonna worry about it. Here we go. Who wins? It's definitely gonna be marker Wade, and not the other thing that it could be.

[Wade]

It did not look like it was slowing down in time.

[Mark]

I think Bob's got the fix button on there because that was, like, plenty of momentum going towards Ty and then back to me, but I'll take it. You know what?

[Bob]

I didn't buy the pro version of this software just to let it screw me over again. Okay. Okay, well.

[Wade]

Oh, man. This was a poopy pants episode.

[Bob]

Wade, give us a loser speech, you big loser.

[Wade]

I'm a guy who pays attention the best I can, which isn't very good. Two sentence horror stories. The maximum I can follow. Three sentences. It's just too complex. I didn't have a chance. It was rigged against me from. From the start. In fact, everything was against me at the start. I was even given credit for the last episode I hosted.

[Bob]

It's true.

[Wade]

But we are where we are, and the wheel has spoken. Who am I to disagree?

[Bob]

Nobody. Mark, winner speech.

[Mark]

Hey. I am so glad I've been practicing my horror stories just in case it would come up. The three sentences, that was a curveball. But as we all know, three is only one more than two at one sentence horror stories I was already good at. So one plus two that I practiced equals three that I was going to be good at. It was a shoe in for me. And also, I bribed Bob.

[Bob]

That's why the wheel spin was so fixed. Wasn't my fault. It was Mark's fault. It was fixed. Well, congratulations, Mark. Despite me scrambling desperately to keep weight in this one, he really just never stood a chance. Make sure you check out the merch, because there's definitely some there. Unless it's sold out again.

[Mark]

Actually, by the time this episode comes out, it won't.

[Wade]

It.

[Bob]

It won't be.

[Mark]

But it will be by the time the episode after this one comes out.

[Bob]

And also, based on last time, there's a decent chance it's gonna sell out pretty quickly. So good luck if you really, really want some, like, bookmark the page or whatever kids do these days. And good luck. Sorry, but yeah. And then check out Mark and Wade and myself at our social medias Markplyr, Lordmain 777 or my skirmish. Make sure you follow the podcast and that way you'll always know that our episodes pretty much always come out on the same days. Just ignore this past week. Looking forward to Mark's episode. I'm sure. I'm 100% confident because I know how much free time you have these days. It's gonna be the perfect crime. Oh, it won't.

[Mark]

But I have a different idea.

[Wade]

The worstest crime.

[Bob]

I feel like I already committed that. That's the end of the episode. Thanks so much for watching and listening. We're out of here. See you on the Next one Podcast out Watch new episodes on Spotify. Your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. The new fragrance by Miu Miu, defined by you.