Viewer Discretion Is Advised

Summary

Distractible Podcast – "Viewer Discretion Is Advised"

Release Date: October 31, 2025
Hosts: Wade Barnes (Host), Mark Fischbach, Bob Muyskens

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Overview

This Halloween episode of Distractible leans hard into the bizarre, the unsettling, and the just plain weird. Wade steers Mark and Bob through a contest of scary, strange, or hilariously offbeat news stories, veering between playful banter, real-life anxieties about security and safety, and the absurdities of both online and offline culture. The result is an episode that’s as chaotic as it is entertaining, with memorable moments about haunted dolls, unsettling mascots, and the scientific pursuit of… well, you’ll see.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chronological Confusion & Halloween Antics

[04:44–06:00]

• The episode opens with a messy attempt to determine whether it’s actually Halloween, leading to time-based absurdities:
  • Mark riffs on the confusion, saying, “It was the there of when it was then… but behind me, in front of me now. I'm looking forward to it. We're all looking behind me at it.” [04:49]
  • Bob and Wade struggle to keep track, culminating in:

  “Did you fucking do anything for Halloween or will you or not, man? What?” – Wade [06:09]

2. Birthday at TwitchCon & Real-World Scares

[07:10–10:16]

• Bob shares about his birthday trip to TwitchCon in San Diego: great city, less chaos than feared, but can’t avoid recent distressing headlines.
  • Bob: “I don't want to talk about the issues with the con itself because there was some crazy shit that happened.” [07:10]
  • The group discusses a disturbing assault on a streamer and the lack of adequate security—an unexpectedly sobering moment.
  • Mark: “In this day and age, when enough incidents have occurred in the past, how security could not be of maximal concern. It blows my mind.” [08:38]

3. Mark’s Iron Lung Movie Update & Wedding Fun

[10:39–14:54]

• Mark offers a mix of (almost) happy news: his film project, Iron Lung, is nearing completion after years of delay and stress:
  • “God, get this thing out of me, man. I am so, so—. I mean, it's not. It's not done for a while... There's some cool steps coming up.” [11:22]
  • The movie's project file is literally titled “IronLongFinals6” after multiple supposed “final” versions.
• Mark also reveals that his wedding photo is now the top post on the Five Nights at Freddy’s subreddit, replacing a developer apology post.

4. Personal Records & Podcast Competition

[15:35–16:12]

• Wade reminisces on his own claim to fleeting online fame:
  • “When I proposed to Molly at PAX, we were the number one, like, Twitch clip for a week.” [15:35]
• The trio’s usual competitive structure is in play, with points awarded for stories, jokes, and various forms of “winning.”

5. Main Segment: Scary (and Disturbing) Stories Contest

[19:02–47:15]

• Wade tasks Mark and Bob: bring the scariest or most unsettling stories, in the spirit of Halloween.
  • “It's Halloween. It's time to inflict terror and fear on our audience.” – Wade [19:21]

A. Mark: The Frog Swallower

• Chinese Woman Swallows Eight Live Frogs to Ease Back Pain
  • “You're about to shit yourself from the fear you're about to have. Chinese woman swallows eight live frogs to ease back pain.” [20:13]
  • She ended up with a severe parasitic infection but, as Mark dryly notes, “her back pain... I don't see anything about it.” [24:24]
• Frogs & Dogs: Mark blends animal antics into horror, sharing a tale of his dog Chica’s ill-fated attempt to eat frogs at the park, resulting in a foaming mouth and enthusiastic repeat attempts.

B. Bob: The Haunted Frozen Doll

• The Bilingual Doll that Wouldn’t Die
  • Family in Houston buys a “Frozen” talking doll: after years, it randomly starts speaking Spanish, becomes “impossible” to throw away, and ends up taped to a truck’s bumper in Minnesota after surviving trash day.
  • “When the doll came back of its own accord, it stopped speaking English completely and only spoke in Spanish.” [26:25]
• Mark, disturbed: “I got even scarier. I got something that's gonna scare your fucking pants off...” [27:13]

C. Mark: Multiple Hamburglars

• Union City Police Capture Two Hamburglars
  • “Let that sink in. There was more than one Hamburglar, and now there are... Who knows how many Hamburglars?” [27:13]
  • Discussion about the genuinely disturbing look of Hamburglar and the creepiness of mascot costumes.

D. Mascot Horror Hour

• Mark sends the group down a visual rabbit hole of vintage Disney mascots:
  • “Viewer discretion is advised. Get ready, buddy. You're not. Boom.” [30:17]
  • “It looks like they are, like, scarred. Everything about it makes my skin crawl.” [30:22]
• The gang riffs on how old-school mascots veered from “uncanny” to “nightmare-inducing”—“One looks like... a slit in the throat is the mouth...” [33:30]

E. Bob: The 19ft Baby 'Lily'

• Massive Baby Statue Appears in English Town
  • Erected for environmental education; to the guys, it reads as the setup for “a British horror film.”
  • “When Lily learns to walk, it's going to be a problem.” [39:22]

F. Speed Round & The Nut Maxers

• Mark brings the truly disturbing:
  • “Meet the nut maxers obsessed with shooting bigger loads.” – Mark [41:55]
  • Bob, immediately: “You were right. You were right. That's it. That's all we needed. You are absolutely right.” [42:02]
  • Article discussion leads to jokes about “citizen jizz scientists” and “nut maxing.”

G. Bob: Rare Face-Distortion Disorder

• Bob closes with a real-life rare syndrome causing facial feature distortion (“Mario Party face minigame IRL!”).
  • “A rare condition that affects how a person sees faces. ... It like widens everything in a way to where it's like…a wide demonic mouth smile.” [45:37]
  • Mark: “Imagine if a guy was so obsessed with Donkey Kong that he got plastic surgery to make his face look exactly like Donkey Kong. And you tell me that's not Donkey Kong right there.” [46:41]

6. Point Scoring, The Wheel, and "Surprise Golf Rules"

[49:00–54:04]

• Wade meticulously tallies points for each weird or comedic moment.
• The “Wheel” segment brings random, often game-changing, advantages or penalties.
• Surprise: “Golf rules” flip the outcome, making fewest points the winner. Bob, who underperformed by usual measures, wins.

7. Memorable Quotes & Banter

• “Bald is on third. Got him. Zoom.” – Bob [06:30]
• “King of Meat” – running joke about Wade’s San Diego exploits [09:37]
• “Viewer discretion is advised.” – Mark, recurring [27:13, 30:17]
• “No, I had happy. I was so happy. That's why I was so—I was really happy.” – Mark [52:27]

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• [04:07]: "That was the daddest dad sneeze I have ever heard." – Mark (early physical comedy)
• [08:38]: “In this day and age... how security could not be of maximal concern. It blows my mind.” – Mark
• [10:05]: “Heart goes out to Emiru. Just so it doesn’t seem like we’re all dancing around it.” – Mark, amid TwitchCon safety discussion
• [11:22]: “Get this thing out of me, man. I am so, so—” – Mark on finishing his film
• [14:33]: “Me and Amy—this picture from our wedding is now the number one all time top post in the Five Nights at Freddy subreddit.” – Mark
• [20:13]: “Chinese woman swallows eight live frogs to ease back pain.” – Mark, kicking off the stories
• [26:25]: “When the doll came back of its own accord, it stopped speaking English completely and only spoke in Spanish.” – Bob
• [30:17]: "Viewer discretion is advised. Get ready, buddy. You're not. Boom." – Mark (beginning the mascot horror slideshow)
• [39:22]: “When Lily learns to walk, it’s going to be a problem.” – Mark, about the baby statue
• [41:55]: “Meet the nut maxers obsessed with shooting bigger loads.” – Mark (as the room groans)
• [47:39]: “This fellow in Tennessee had perfect vision... Woke up one day and had this and just about lost his entire shit because everyone looked not human anymore for no reason.” – Bob
• [52:55]: “Bob was tripping over his own feet the whole episode.” – Mark, during final tallies
• [56:10]: “Golf rules came all over everything.” – Bob, in peak Distractible style

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Episode Dissolves into Chronological Mayhem: [04:44–06:13]
• TwitchCon & Security Discussion: [07:10–10:16]
• Iron Lung Update & Wedding/FNaF Story: [10:39–14:54]
• Scary Stories Segment Begins: [19:02]
• Frog Swallower Story: [20:13]
• Haunted Frozen Doll Story: [24:38]
• Hamburglar Horror: [27:13]
• Mascot Madness: [30:17–35:53]
• The 19ft Baby ‘Lily’: [36:10–41:21]
• Nut Maxing/‘Citizen Jizz Scientists’: [41:55–44:22]
• Rare Face-distortion Disorder: [45:33–47:39]
• Wheel Spin, Points, and Golf Rules Reversal: [49:00–54:04]
• Outro Banter & End: [54:39–End]

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Tone & Highlights

• Language: As irreverent and kinetic as ever: a mix of dry wit, goofiness, honest horror, and charmingly self-deprecating banter.
• Key Memorable Moment: The visual deep-dive into vintage cartoon mascots and the group’s increasingly horrified reactions.
• Recurring Gags: "Viewer discretion is advised," running riffs about time confusion, and the spiral into competitive absurdity over points and the Wheel.
• Mark’s Wedding/FNaF Story: A moment of sweetness and bizarre fandom overlap.
• Nut Maxing: The group’s genuine discomfort quickly devolves into hilarious riffing on citizen science, the history of medical experimentation, and bodily functions—classic Distractible energy.

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Conclusion

A quintessential Distractible episode: chaotic structure, competitive storytelling, deranged Internet finds, and an underlying warmth between friends who delight in scaring, bewildering, and cracking each other up. It’s Halloween for weirdos—and a perfect introduction to the podcast’s tone for the uninitiated.

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Winner:
Bob, by “Surprise Golf Rules,” i.e., the fewest points

Next Episode Host:
Bob Muyskens

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Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Facebook. The Holidays Bring people Home Facebook brings people together. From spontaneous messages that lead to overdue catch ups, to finding new communities and friends to go on tangents with like in your favorite podcast Facebook group on Facebook, a little connection goes a long way, especially the night before Thanksgiving.

[B]

Facebook is the only way I keep track of like a lot of my family members around the holidays. We're all like nostalgic and remembering like the time that we could all fit under while and so we all reach out like oh, have these stories and such, which is actually really really nice.

[C]

But you know, it's even better than that things. Facebook Marketplace is my favorite, but it's even more fun when I have to go visit my stupid parents around the holidays and I can pull up Facebook Marketplace and see what's for sale around their house.

[B]

I caught up with a friend I hadn't talked to.

[A]

What'd you buy?

[B]

A few moments of their time.

[A]

You had to pay for that lame. Let's reconnect this holiday season with.

[C]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[A]

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[B]

Good evening gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This Halloween episode. Warring Wade detects lies, then gets the gents to find the fearful magnifiable Mark is chronologically challenged, nearly unleashes iron lung dominates, flash pops about hunts hamburglars and malevolent Mickey. Birthday Bob takes on TwitchCon, Freaky Frozen and an inflated infant. From convoluted bald jokes to nut maxes, it's time for viewer discretion is advised. Now sit back and prepare to be.

[C]

Distracted and enjoy the show.

[B]

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. What? What's happening?

[C]

I didn't realize this mic stand went up. I just.

[B]

Just. I have to sneeze.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Why you getting stabbed? What the fuck?

[C]

That was the daddest dad sneeze I have ever heard.

[B]

I feel like I threw up my shoulder. That one really hurt. Oh, if you never joined before, this is pretty typical for a Wade hosted episode to go off the rails. In the intro I Today the other two compete for points. Whoever wins, get the host the next one. Joined as always by my friends and competitors today, Mark and Bob. Hey, guys.

[A]

Hello. Hello.

[B]

Oh, I'm in pain.

[C]

Gotta be careful, man. Can't just casually sneeze at our age.

[B]

If I'm looking at my my dates correctly. Happy Halloween, boys. Any cool Halloween plans?

[A]

It already happened. And it wasn't my plans, but I was there.

[B]

It's today.

[C]

You were there.

[A]

No, no, no, no, I wasn't there. Yeah, I was there. Yeah, it wasn't the when of where it is now, but it was the there of when it was then.

[C]

The fuck was it? Was it good?

[A]

Actually, it's in the future from where we are in the present. But that's the past to those in the then. But the when that I was there was then, but behind me, in front of me now. I'm looking forward to it. We're all looking behind me at it.

[B]

Isn't Halloween like in a few hours from now?

[A]

No, it was last week for me.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

But I had nothing to do with that. That was not my fault. That was all Ethan. You can blame him. And Amy. You can blame them for then.

[C]

I Already was or have been.

[A]

You can will be that.

[B]

What will have had happened to you, Bob, that already happened.

[C]

It's in the past, man. I don't want to dwell in the past. Is it not?

[B]

Today is today.

[C]

And I can't predict the future. So I don't even know what you want to talk about right now.

[A]

Today. It's the 21st, my bro. What is wrong with you? That's then.

[B]

Well, no, but like. But for everyone watching it or listening, it's today. Unless they're late watching it or listening.

[A]

No, it's then for me.

[B]

The.

[A]

Them. Them of them to me is then behind us. In front of us for them behind the us of me.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

Did you fucking do anything for Halloween or will you or not, man? What?

[C]

Yeah, well, I. I was. Mark. Were you wasn't them. Did you know? Have. Have you?

[B]

I don't know. Happy Halloween, Wade.

[A]

Your will, Bob. Is. Is. I'm Is.

[B]

Was.

[C]

Is. Is on first. Was is on second. Bald is on third. Got him. Zoom.

[A]

Oh. The long way for that bald joke.

[C]

But that was all of the. All of the time set up was just to get to the bald joke. Oh, wait. Isn't it nice to hang out with friends?

[B]

Yeah, I'll be doing that soon. I'm kind of excited now.

[C]

We gotta do this.

[B]

Yeah, I know. And then I'll get to hang out with friends.

[C]

Yeah, well, you're here now. Don't make me say time words again.

[B]

I. Please don't small talk, you guys. You live did happen. You break any more expensive things? What do you get to share?

[C]

It's kind of way in the past now, but I did go to twitchcon. I'm not going to talk about the issues with the con itself because there was some crazy shit that happened.

[B]

How was the IRL streamers?

[C]

Actually, you know what? It was way less bad than I thought it would be.

[B]

People have been all over it on social media. It's all I hear about.

[C]

I assumed I would walk into TwitchCon and it would just be like you could spot them from a ways away and just kind of wander away from them and stay. I didn't interact with a single IRL streamer the whole time. It was glorious. But San Diego is fucking great city, man. It is. San Diego is beautiful. Had a beautiful time. And the convention center there is very nice. It was a lovely. It was set up well. It was very fun. I don't want to talk about the rest of it, but I had a great time also. I was there on my birthday, so that was pretty fun.

[B]

I didn't text you, but I tweeted you happy Birthday. Really? Indirectly.

[A]

I don't think I texted you at all. I apologize.

[C]

You tweeted me happy birthday.

[B]

I did.

[C]

I don't like to celebrate my birthday. Everyone. My family is always like, what do you want for your birthday? I'm like, don't. Yeah, I feel that it was. It was cool. San Diego is great.

[B]

You don't want to talk about it?

[C]

The con man. I don't know if you guys saw.

[B]

No.

[A]

You didn't know what happened? I mean, I saw.

[B]

I saw an incident that happened.

[C]

There was a crazy assault on a specific streamer that was like, in the situation that led up to that. Not like, banning her security, which is.

[A]

I mean, I know you don't want to talk about it, but it's like, I can't. I can't fathom.

[C]

Just unbelievable.

[A]

It doesn't make any sense to me. Like, in this day and age, when enough incidents have occurred in the past, how security could not be of maximal concern. It blows my mind. So, yeah, it's really sad.

[B]

I don't want to talk about it. But I've also heard different opinions.

[A]

Not different.

[B]

Different descriptions of what happened. One being from Twitch and the other being from the person and, you know, people around them, which, interesting to say the least. I think I know who I believe, and it's probably not the company.

[A]

I mean, we don't have to not say their. Their name.

[C]

No. Well, yeah. Well, that's just why that was the only reason I really want to talk about it. It's a thing that's been on my mind. But, like, we don't really know what happened. I've seen the. Some video angles of what happened, but, like, I don't want to hear say I don't want to. Whatever the people involved that know. Know what happened, whoever it happened to. And like, the issue is I just can't believe that that was even able to happen. It's fucking crazy. But. But San Diego, lovely. Thank you so much. San Diego, great weekend.

[B]

I've only been there once. Loved the city.

[C]

That was where you became the King of Meat.

[B]

Was that in San Diego? I guess. You said it was San Diego, right? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, that was the San Diego Fogo de Chao on tour.

[B]

I've been there twice. Then I guess I forgot about the tour one, because the tour, we stopped in cities, but it wasn't like we had a lot of time to explore them. No.

[C]

It could have been anywhere.

[B]

I.

[C]

That we didn't see San Diego, we saw the Fogo in the theater, but.

[B]

But I guess if we did a show there, then. I've been there twice. I was there for, I think a twitchcon 7 years ago or something 8 years ago. I don't know. One of the earlier ones.

[A]

I do want to say. I do want to say heart goes out to Emiru. Just so it doesn't seem like we're all dancing around in any way, because it's just like. I know that that's. That's gotta be rough one way or another.

[C]

Yeah, I know. I don't. I don't know Emiru personally in any way, but that's fucking terrible. We had. We had an experience where someone was just kind of vaguely threatening and creepy. And I cannot imagine how it must feel to actually, like, have someone get all the way to you, do something like, to you, touch you, whatever, like, nightmare scenario. But, Mark, happy stuff.

[A]

Happy stuff. I ain't got none of that. Get up your. Warm up your highs. It's gonna be real sad again.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Yeah, I know, right? Well, actually, it's kinda happy news because might finally have this curse lifted off of my soul. The actual burden that has chained me for three years being short. Yeah, it might be finally movie time. I mean, sad that this wonderful journey that it's been.

[C]

You seem oddly less relieved than I would have thought. You seem a little bit like you're just. You just want to kick this thing out of your life and never touch it again.

[A]

Yes, I do. God, get this thing out of me, man. I am so, so. I mean, it's not. It's not done for a while. I got a little bit more to do. There's some cool steps coming up. I'm going to be at the Warner Brothers mixing stage. That doesn't mean anything. Everybody doesn't mean anything. Don't go crazy about that one. Wink.

[C]

It's just a place.

[A]

So I'll be there for two weeks. And then there's. There's the last steps in the. What do I always call it?

[B]

I Cannot Wait for the Animaniacs crossover with your movie. I don't care this time. Editor's Edited in twice.

[C]

Iron Luck to Yakko Zany Adventure.

[B]

Your secrets. I'm done with your fucking secrets. I'm the host. Put it in three times.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Yep. Oh, God. Anyway, so the final steps. What? The final sprint.

[C]

Final stretch.

[A]

Final stretch. That's what I always call it during the final stretch.

[B]

Patented mark term.

[A]

Look, the project everyone's going to laugh at this later, but you know, I'll say it now. Why not my project file, which of which I have hundreds of backups, because I backed up pretty much every day that I've had it open. I close it and back. I back it up and close it. It's called IronLongFinals6. That's literally what it's called. Because. And I, I know it's legitimately because it kept saying there's already a file. This name, do you want to replace? Every time I try to call it, I was like, surely it can't be Final Thor.

[C]

Oh, fuck. Oh.

[A]

Final Six.

[B]

The sixth Final Iron Lung. I didn't know it was a six part movie series.

[A]

Man, oh man, it's going to be crazy, huh? But anyway, more info soon, but not that soon.

[C]

Well, that's exciting.

[B]

Well, almost congrats.

[A]

Thanks. Almost. Thank you.

[B]

I just got to say, this is the first time in a while I've gotten to write down a lie right down. I don't know why I got an accident. First time I've gotten to write down a lie point because Mark said no happy, then gave some happy news. So the no happy ends up being a lie. So maybe the wheel will do something fun with the lie point for no happy.

[A]

Oh, that's true. That'll be a game changer.

[C]

No, I won't. The wheel says half point for Wade.

[B]

I mean, listen, if I'm back on top, so be it. I don't know why I keep getting accents. I need to.

[C]

Yeah, all right. Accent. I have no idea what it was supposed to be.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

Congrats, Mark. Maybe.

[A]

Thank you. Hopefully almost.

[B]

When you get the final 69, let us know.

[A]

I know people won't believe this at all because I've said final stress so many times. But guys, just wait, please.

[B]

It's a markiplier promise.

[A]

I had another thing. It's kind of a funny situation because I got married, right? And so there were some posts that were on the Internet about it.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

Me and Amy. This picture from our wedding is now the number one all time top post in the five Nights at Freddy subreddit.

[B]

The was.

[A]

The previous top post was an apology post from Scott Cawthon about something about his movie. So we've dethroned though for number one in the five Nights at Freddy subreddit.

[B]

So yeah, congrats.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

I think you did it, man.

[A]

We made it. No, it was very sweet of them. Like I did appreciate, because there were some people, some people on that post were like, why is this there? But everyone else was just like, well, come on, him and fnaf, come on. So everyone was just like very nicely upvoting it, being like. And I think they wanted to dethrone that apology post for being the number one on. Anyway, thank you very much.

[B]

You should make an apology post for dethroning the apology post and see if you can get that. The number one.

[C]

That could be the new highest upvoted thing.

[A]

It could be. It could be. It won't be. And hey, maybe that'll be the top post on that subreddit forever. Unless I die. And then I'd probably be the number one on that subreddit. So got something to look forward to.

[B]

I think the best record I can say is whenever I proposed to Molly at pax, we were the number one, like Twitch clip for a week. That proposal moment.

[A]

Why didn't you bring this up on the last episode, man?

[C]

Yeah, that would have been a good 24 hour record.

[B]

Number one proposal highlight clip for number one twitch clip.

[C]

All of twitch. Number one clip.

[A]

You were the number one clip.

[B]

I guess that that would have been worldwide.

[A]

That is the criteria.

[C]

Worldwide on Twitch. That's how that works. Yeah.

[B]

Can I get a retroactive point for that?

[C]

You already won and no, I'm gonna.

[B]

Give myself a point for that. I can do that.

[C]

Can do that, but it doesn't mean anything in the world of personal single day world records. You're still the same winner you always were.

[B]

Thank you. I feel good about that right now. I might win this episode.

[A]

Congrats, man.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's fruit snacks. We've gotta warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.

[A]

Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.

[C]

Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.

[A]

Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

[B]

It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions, please use responsibly.

[C]

Don't chew on that, Max.

[B]

Cooper loves that shoe too.

[C]

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow, he is loving it.

[B]

What do you Feed Cooper Blue Buffalo Life Protection Formula.

[C]

He never leaves a crumb.

[B]

I love it because it's made with high quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and veggies and wholesome whole grains. Looks like we're switching to blue Blue Buffalo foods are made with the superior.

[C]

Ingredients your dog needs to thrive.

[B]

Can your dog food say that? Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. Mark and I have known each other since college and we connected fast.

[B]

Oh yeah?

[A]

How fast?

[C]

Like t mobile 5G home Internet fast?

[A]

Well, in fact, I bet you can literally hop online in less than 15 minutes and connect with their fast speeds at a great price no matter what your budget looks like.

[B]

On top of that, you don't have to worry about your price changing thanks to a 5 year price guarantee.

[C]

I didn't feel any air quotes coming from you on that one. I'm not going to lie.

[A]

With their fast 5G speeds, quick 15 minute setup and 5 year price guarantee, you really can't ask for a better Setup.

[B]

Visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check availability. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary to the factor affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions and details@t mobile.com homeinternet well, Happy Halloween, everyone. You guys have anything else you want to bring up? Or am I welcome to transition into making you all work?

[C]

I don't want to work. But I guess that's the next part.

[A]

I don't want to work either. Can we have fun instead?

[B]

That's great. So what I figured we would do for today is make you guys find scary news stories. Or just scary stories. Scary things that happen. I mean real scary stuff. It's Halloween. It's time to inflict terror and fear on our audience.

[A]

You did give us some prep time for this. So I did it because otherwise I would subject the audience to me typing as. And my microphone is from my keyboard. So me typing sounds like this.

[B]

That's not an exaggeration. That's actually what it sounds like.

[A]

Editors edit my hands while typing.

[B]

Wait.

[A]

Anyway, I have one right away. I'm ready to win this one. This is spooky because Halloween is about witches. And what are witches about? That's right.

[B]

Frogs. Okay?

[A]

Frogs. They'll curse you into a toad or something like that. Right? So this is Halloween related.

[B]

I got distracted when you did this. Riverside showed me that you were giving me a thumbs up.

[A]

Oh, I know. No, that wasn't Riverside. That was me, me, me.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, boy. Anyway, watch out, everyone. It's get to a toilet again. Once again, toilet warning. You're about to shit yourself from the fear you're about to have. Chinese woman swallows eight live frogs to ease back pain.

[C]

I hate that.

[B]

What is the. What? What? What?

[A]

It's so terrifying your mind can't comprehend it.

[C]

That's fucked up.

[A]

It was reported that she consumed three of the frogs right away and the remaining five the following day.

[B]

Take three of these and call me in the morning. How do you eat a frog? Whole, alive? Like, how do you.

[C]

You swallow it in your mouth probably.

[B]

But they're big.

[A]

Well, these weren't that big. I think they fit in the palm of her hand. So, you know, they're not huge frogs. I imagine they're not like palm sized frogs.

[B]

The power of the sun can fit in the palm of your hand. Of course a frog can.

[A]

On my hand. Did I tell you that time Chica tried to eat a frog?

[B]

Probably in a hunt.

[A]

Okay, another Chica story. Cup has nothing to do with Halloween, but it was scary for us because we didn't know what's happening. So Chica loves the park, right? And we're taking her for a walk, like we occasionally do, you know, every once in a while we feel like it and we're like, all right, you can go outside. And she's sniffing around and there was these frogs all over the ground. It was kind of scary because we didn't know if we were stepping on them previously because we only noticed them halfway being in the middle of them. So in this entire field, there's little tiny frog. I'm talking tiny. Like you could hold it between your fingers but you wouldn't want to. And I'll tell you why later, because they're going. Every time we walk, it's like the ground suddenly is moving. Like all these frogs are like, holy shit. There's a lot. It's not complete carpet, but it's a lot. And so Chica is very oblivious to things for a long time. But as soon as she notices something, she hyper fixates, right? So we are like, whoa, there's lot of frogs. We go to Chica, don't look at the frogs. And she's like, looks up at us, doesn't notice a thing. And we're going for a walking and she's fine. And then the frogs were trying to walk slowly there she's sniffing the ground, seeing nothing. But then she locks onto a frog, pulls me so hard. It's like she's like, snake. And then she grabs frog and goes. And then immediately it's like, like gags it out. Suddenly her mouth just starts going foam just out of her mouth, like, completely, just running down her big lips, her cheek flaps. And I thought she was poisoned. I was like, oh, God, no. So I'm like, frantically googling like, frog mouth dog foam. And they. They're just covered in this bitter thing that makes her do that. And so she's like. And we' like, oh, chica, you okay? Frog goes right for another frog. Like she got it. Like she was addicted to whatever the horrible sensation was that she got from the first frog. And I went, oh, we're not so different after all. And meanwhile, I'm like. And so she. Ever since then she looks for the frogs because I think she felt something.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

She. She liked it. I don't think she got high from the frogs, but you never know.

[B]

My friend Jared had a black lab that did something very similar. Whenever he'd find a toad, he'd, like, hold it up and his dog Jake would sniff it and go. And then start foaming at the mouth. But he'd always come back to smell it again, even though, like, every time.

[A]

Love those frogs.

[B]

Short term memory. It's like, oh, this is terrible. What is that? Oh, God, it's so gross. One more time.

[A]

Humans do it all the time. Humans just love that shit.

[B]

Frog and frog witches.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And this. This lady swallowed eight frogs. Yeah. And she developed a horrible, horrible parasitic infection. But her back pain.

[B]

But her back was better.

[A]

I don't see anything about it.

[C]

Wow, that's good.

[A]

Ooh. She was in the hospital for two weeks.

[B]

What a riveting story. I thought it was funny, Bob. You find a story.

[C]

A family in Houston, Texas, bought a doll that said fun quotes from the movie Frozen, but then it wouldn't stop doing it. 2013, they got the doll for Christmas. It was very cute. You pressed a button on the neck and it would say things from the movie and sing the song, let it go. And it was just a little doll. Maybe a little creepy, but whatever. It's just a little doll. For two years after they got it, it did that in English. And then in 2015, it started doing it in Spanish and then switching back and forth between Spanish and English. There was not a way to change these. This was just a thing it started doing. The family has owned this doll for more than six years. Never once changed the batteries or checked on it. And it just says whatever it wants. It does. Well, that's misleading. It says things from the movie. It says the quotes from the movie. It sings the song, but it just triggers itself. It just goes. It'll just. And that happens. You know what? Sometimes toys have funky bun. Sometimes. Sometimes it's in Spanish. I guess that happens. But in 2019, they decided to throw out the creepy doll. They were finally done weeks later in the new year. They found it inside a bench in their living room. The kids insisted that they did not put it in there.

[A]

Inside a bench.

[C]

Like a storage bench, I assume. Like, you know how they have, like, benches, but, like, the top opens. You put, like, shoes.

[A]

It wasn't, like, embedded in there, like, half teleported, you know, stuck.

[C]

It was, like, in a place in a low place where a kid might be able to get to it. But the kid said they didn't do that, so obviously they did.

[A]

Obviously. Yeah.

[C]

And when. When the doll came back of its own accord, it stopped speaking English completely and only spoke in Spanish. They then apparently put it in two trash bags, put it at the bottom of their garbage can, watched the garbage can get dumped into the truck on garbage day the next day, went on a trip shortly thereafter and returned to the doll being in the backyard of their home this time to get rid of it. They mailed it in a box to family friends in Minnesota, who then taped the haunted doll to the front bumper of his truck. Because why wouldn't you? That's what I wanted to do the whole time I was reading this story. Anyway, it hasn't found its way back to Houston because it lives on that guy's truck. And that's scary news.

[A]

I got even scarier. I got something that's gonna scare your fucking pants off because of the implications that it is suggesting. Viewer discretion is advised. This headline will terrify you. Union City Police Department captures two local Hamburglars. Let that sink in. There was more than one Hamburglar, and now there are. It is known there are at. There's the balloons.

[C]

Hey, balloons. Scary balloons.

[A]

Who knows how many Hamburgli. Okay. I don't know if you've ever seen, like, McDonald's creepypasta. Like, creepy versions of the McDonald's mascot characters. Hamburglar terrifies me more than Grimace. Right? Grimace is scary. The Hamburglar, that ain't right. You know, because he's not really human. He kind of looks vaguely human, like. Like the others. You can imagine humans in those costumes. The Hamburglar, that's not right. And now there's more than two of Them. There might just be two, but I doubt if there's more than one.

[C]

There's probably more.

[A]

There's probably more.

[B]

So is a Hamburglar not human?

[A]

No, he looks human. That you've ever seen a human look like that?

[B]

There are some images, man. There's one, yeah, there's a few. He doesn't look right. He's not human.

[C]

You ever seen it?

[B]

What the.

[A]

That's. No. The Hamburglar is fucking terrifying. I don't care what anybody says. I don't like them. I don't like his. I don't like what he does. Why is he welcoming the gang with people that are making the hamburgers? Because he's clearly the Hamburglar. So it's rotten all the way down, pretty much. Also in the story, you read into it, and they were stealing from a help center, so, you know, that's even scarier.

[C]

Wait, were they actually stealing things that weren't cheeseburgers?

[A]

I mean, a lot of meat, mostly burger patties. All right, if you read the article, it starts to just be like a robbery, but the headline is the scary part. Okay.

[B]

There are some wild Reddit threads about the Hamburglar. I've gone through a couple now. And people. People debate their feelings on the Hamburglar, but some people agree with you. They're like, he's just genuinely, irredeemably terrifying. I wasn't aware of the multi Hamburglar verse.

[A]

It's terrifying. You don't want to face the truth, but it's out there.

[B]

I never paid that much attention to him because it was always just, like. It was just a cartoon hamburger. But some of the more realistic depictions of him are quite unsettling. While you're thinking, just to read, go back. Some of the characters from, like, franchises in, like, the, I don't know, 30s to 60s range. What were people thinking?

[C]

I mean, stuff was different back then, man. I don't know.

[A]

Have you seen early Disney mascots?

[C]

Terrifying.

[A]

All right, I'm gonna show you a picture. I'm gonna show you one. Don't look it up yourself. I want to show it to you. Viewer discretion is advised. Get ready, buddy. You're not. Boom.

[B]

Oh, is that Mickey and Minnie with, like, horrible squid face?

[A]

It's like. It looks like they are, like, scarred. Everything about it makes my skin crawl. The way the eyes are.

[C]

It looks like they used to be.

[A]

People and their face got ripped and stretched in the shape of a mouse.

[B]

Or kind of like Jack Nicholson's Joker if he was also Mickey Mouse.

[A]

No, mascots back then were awful. Just Horrifying.

[B]

Those dead staring eyes that aren't even looking in a certain direction. A picture of, like, a dad holding his son who looks a little uneasy. And then I think maybe. I mean, I'm assuming it's his son and maybe his daughter who looks genuinely happy. Like, she looks like she's having a good time. That kid, the boy that he's holding, he doesn't look so sure. The dad's looking up. Like, I'm also not so sure.

[A]

No, there's nothing about it. It's good. And they don't get better for a while. Like, they're. They're this for a long time.

[B]

So even her feet. What's going on with her shoes?

[A]

I don't know what that's about. She got hooves.

[B]

Like, bandaged hooves.

[C]

The surgery was tough, man.

[A]

All right, I'm just gonna stop looking at this because I don't like it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It wasn't.

[B]

It was. It wasn't good.

[A]

Oh, that wasn't even the earliest one. Holy. Wait.

[B]

Oh, Bob, I hope you can cleanse our palate.

[A]

Wait a minute. Okay, wait. We've got. We've got Mickey through the years, apparently. Look at Mr. Mickey on the left. Apparently, that was the first iteration.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

I don't even know where I'm supposed to look.

[B]

What? It looks like a cryptid Mickey. I don't know.

[C]

Like, in the nicest way possible. It looks like they walked into, like, a second grade art class where kids are just, like, like, finger painting and having a good time. And they were like, make us a costume of a mouse the size of a man. And the kids were like, I don't know what a mouse looks like. And then this is what happened.

[A]

And he's got gloves. Don't forget the gloves.

[B]

How do they go from that to the horrible scarred squid face? And then it's just, like, skinny, buff Mickey.

[C]

Mickey is just a guy body with a Mickey Mouse head. Just real skinny and toned.

[A]

I don't know. If I woke up to three, I think I'd also be terrified.

[C]

Just standing like that with arms on hips over your bed, just like.

[B]

Oh, boy. Good morning, Mark.

[C]

Yo. Mickey's voice actually changed a lot, too. The far left Mickey on the picture walks up. He's like, hey, what's up, kids? Yeah, I'm a mouse.

[B]

I don't imagine English. I imagine the first one walks up and you just hear like.

[A]

You want to smoke?

[C]

Kids, make sure you listen to your doctors and smoke your Lucky Strikes every day. Mickey Mouse only smokes Lucky Strikes. I think.

[B]

Are you sure that's not two? I feel like one is just gurgling noises and two is that two.

[C]

Two is like inhuman noises to me. Yeah. One. One has too much, like, humanity still, because it's mostly just a person with. Whatever happened to the face? But two is like the pants. Give it. Give it a shape. It's more uncanny somehow to me.

[B]

One looks like. Somehow a slit in the throat is. The mouth is what one looks like to me.

[A]

Yeah, now I see that. Okay. Yeah.

[C]

You want to know how I got this mouth?

[B]

I like.

[C]

I don't like.

[B]

It looks like their mouth would lift from, like, the base of their neck or the top of their neck where the jaw just like, hey, I'm Mickey.

[C]

No, I do see that now that you're saying it.

[A]

Number two just has a musical theme as he's walking towards you. And it's just.

[B]

Two is like Cthulhu and Mickey had a baby. Tell me, Minnie Mouse, do you feel Bethel?

[A]

Oh, God, there's worse.

[B]

Oh, no, no.

[C]

How is there war?

[A]

Sorry, I can't. I can't. Just keep showing this. But quick. Just. Just quick.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Oh, no. No.

[A]

Why is the kid on his knees?

[C]

That's gotta be, like, homemade, like, rental costumes or something or some. That's gotta be a reason for that. There's no way.

[B]

What is with the. So we're looking at Mickey and Minnie, but, like, from. From halloweenhorrorwish.com is it just.

[C]

I can't tell you why? Do they look French to you guys?

[A]

Yeah, I'm getting a little French from that. I could see that.

[B]

Yeah, I could weirdly see it, but.

[C]

I don't know why this popped up in my head, which is like, what are we going to do with this child? Something unsettlingly French. And I'm sorry, French people, but that's. It's not a judgment about you. There's just something. There's just something.

[A]

No, they get it. I think. I think they get it.

[B]

The kid looks like his left eye. Like, he has a black eye in his left eye, too.

[A]

Does. He's got a weird shadow over his face.

[C]

He looks so happy or some emotion.

[A]

Editor, zoom in on that. Is that a smile? It's not. I think it's not a smile.

[B]

For some reason, the kid is standing, like, down on his knees in the photo, and, like, Minnie and Mickey are stand around him. He's wearing, like, dress pants and a dress shirt with a tie.

[A]

I think he's got dress shorts on.

[B]

Oh, maybe they are. Yeah. I guess they are short. I just thought it was like a bad render. But yeah, I guess they are shorts.

[A]

I just don't know why he's on his knees unless he's about to be executed. That's the only reason I could say I don't either.

[B]

Because it's not like if he stood up, he'd be taller than these monstrosities. An extra foot. He's at shoulder height. I don't know why he's. Yeah, everything. It's weird.

[A]

Anyway. All right, enough of that.

[C]

Bob.

[B]

Any kind of palate. Happy Halloween, everyone. Any kind of palate cleanser from that.

[C]

Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No, no, yeah. No. Let me just share this real quick.

[B]

Oh, thank God.

[C]

This is gonna be fine. It's gonna be perfect.

[B]

Ew. Okay.

[C]

In the English village of Rockdale. Rockdale. Rockdale. This giant baby statue thing just appeared in the town square with no actual explanation. And there is an explanation, and I can tell you it doesn't help.

[B]

Okay, let me describe this for our listeners. There is a very, very large, almost paper mache looking baby with action figure, conjoint arms and hands that look like you could bend them.

[C]

The arms apparently are like poseable. It's like a. It's like a doll. It's. You can.

[B]

And there's a. I think a guy doing a really shitty cosplay of Wendy from Wendy's with his arms up in confusion, walking toward some construction working kids.

[C]

What are you all looking at?

[A]

There's nothing to see.

[B]

Get a junior bacon.

[C]

A classic English accent. Thank you.

[A]

Where do you think we got it from?

[C]

No, don't worry, guys. I can explain this. Obviously this giant 19 foot tall baby doll statue was erected for school children to come and talk and sing to it. Obviously. This mysterious appearance of this doll was soon followed by a post from the Rockdale Borough Council's Facebook page. That was a video of a group of school children with an adult dressed. The lady with the red hair dressed up kind of like she's the host of a kid show or something. I don't know what the deal is with that. The school children that you see in the picture that I'm sharing with you are singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to.

[B]

The doll whose eyes are closed with weird kind of red rings around them.

[A]

Yeah, the red is weird.

[B]

And what is the symbol on baby's belly?

[C]

I think there might have been people in it. Doesn't that look like it's like mesh? Like someone sits in there and looks out of it?

[B]

Yeah, it looks like, you go in through the mouth, and you get digested in the belly.

[A]

Look, kids, you can watch how digestion works.

[C]

Guys, I know we're being funny, but obviously this was erected as part of a campaign to encourage school children to talk about the importance of environmental issues. It all makes sense when you hear the full explanation. When you see the video of the kids singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to the giant baby doll, it all comes together. Also, the baby's name is Lily, and there apparently are videos of just kids standing in front of Lily talking about how they're gonna recycle more. Also, a number of people seem to think it. It reminded them in an uncanny way of the puppet doll from squid game that does the red light, green light bit.

[A]

I have one question. You said it was 19ft tall. Is that only when it's sitting? Because I see the people next to it, and it looks like I could stack four of them on top of each other and reach the head. I fear its true height is actually much taller.

[C]

When Lily learns to walk, it's going to be a problem. I think you're onto something.

[B]

Looks like there's a team of people in the back holding Lily down to make sure Lily doesn't attack the children. They've got, like, ropes or something.

[A]

Yep, I see that. I see that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. You don't want to have something like this, just sitting out in the open unrestrained. You know, we've all seen those movies.

[B]

It's a cloudy day, which makes sense.

[C]

Oh, it's just England.

[A]

Are those pillows or body bags? What are we dealing with?

[C]

I honestly couldn't tell you. I think they're pillows for the children to come and sit upon when they speak to Lily about the nature of the environment.

[B]

I think those are also tastefully covering Lily's junk. So I'm not sure that Lily has a diaper for some reason.

[C]

It's a baby. Babies can be naked. That's fine. It's whatever.

[B]

I don't want to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to naked paper mache giant baby doll myself.

[C]

Look, you don't have to sing. You just have to bring your plans for how you're going to conserve more water in your household.

[A]

Yeah. You just have to be honest. It'll know if you're lying.

[C]

The singing is extra. That's just for Lily's enjoyment. But if you don't come with a solid environmental plan, Lily eats you, and you see what digestion feels like from the inside anyway. I don't know why the hell anyone would have Ever done that. But what a thing to do in October for some reason. What would you do if that just popped up, like, somewhere by your house and you just were driving by and there was a 19 foot tall baby thing sitting there? Would you just, like, ignore it and hope that you never learned anything about it? It and it just went away before it caused any problems, or would you go investigate? Like, I don't know what I would do.

[A]

Seeing it once appear once is probably okay, but much like the Hamburglar, if it appears twice, like, it's. It's in the town square the first time. You're like, oh, that's where you go home. It's in your local park. Then I'd start to be like, okay, I see where. I see where this is going. I see where.

[B]

I don't know. I think I've had enough Halloween. You guys had enough Halloween?

[C]

Hooray. I'm scared.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I got. I got one more, but, you know.

[B]

Okay, if you guys want to do a speed round, get us out of here. Mouth cleanser. Something better than hamburglars and Lynn and Disney mascots and Lily.

[A]

I don't even want to talk about this one anymore. I was gonna, like, swing it into some, like, other kind of scary, like the Hamburglar, but it wasn't really scary. I'm embarrassed now.

[B]

So you don't want to share it?

[A]

I mean, I'll share if you really want it, but you're gonna. You're gonna hear me say the title and you're gonna be like, okay, that's enough of that.

[B]

All right, go for it.

[A]

No. Meet the nut Maxers obsessed with shooting bigger loads.

[C]

You were right. You were right. That's it. That's all we needed. You are absolutely right.

[A]

This is a GQ article. So I'm like, I don't know if they commonly talk about these issues, but I'm like, isn't that a reputable publication?

[C]

Dude, I love the annual nut maxing issue of gq. It's my favorite.

[B]

Is this the December issue that comes after? No, Nut November?

[A]

No, this is just last week, actually. This was written when we recorded is literally October 14, 2025, by Charlie Sosnick. So, Charlie, some of the most important discoveries in medicine came from brave people experimenting on themselves. Jonas Salk tested it. His polio vaccine, on himself and his family. Isaac Newton poked a blunt needle into his own eye socket to understand how we see life. Not what I remember him for.

[C]

And these brave dudes can't stop gooning.

[A]

Okay? And they're Using their own bodies and testosterone. The Redditors on. I'm not gonna read the subreddit have determined that a combination of zinc pydium and L citrulline and lecithin lesser than is the holy grail of come.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

47,000 visitors, 600 weekly contributions. I think that's more active than our subreddit.

[B]

Oh, no, we just need to sell more sex on distractible.

[A]

What turned these men into Citizen Jizz? Scientists, A growing interest in self optimization. Anyway, it's. It's all. It's a community.

[B]

You've heard of Citizen Kane? Have you heard of Citizen Jiz? No, I haven't.

[C]

You know, it turns out actually, jizz is the name of his sled at the end of the movie. I didn't think that was gonna land at all. You guys like old movies, huh? That one worked out.

[A]

God, ever since Whose line? I didn't know. They constantly make that joke about rosebud and the sled, like, so. I know I've never seen the movie, but I know I love any joke about it.

[B]

So good.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Well, thanks for sharing, Mark.

[A]

Yeah. You want to hear more?

[B]

I. Not really. This episode is brought to you by Mentos Gum. Keep things fresh. It's important, right? And I'm not just talking about fresh breath. It's important to switch up your routine whenever you can. I just. I'm the person who can't help but chew. You put up an amendment in your mouth, you're supposed to suck on it. I'm like, swallow. So I kind of need gum.

[C]

You turn into a cartoon dog. I'm sorry. Next time we hang out, I'm giving you a mint just to see what happens.

[B]

And of course, another way to refresh every day is with Mentos gum, available in a range of fresh flavors, like spearmint, fresh mint and strawberry. Mentos gum. Yes to fresh.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Panda Express. If someone wanted to tell me that they love me, all they would need to do is get me some honey walnut shrimp from Panda Express. The message would not be lost in translation. In fact, I might even rather have honey walnut shrimp than words from an actual human mouth hole. If you're trying to get a message to me, honey walnut shrimp, however you want to say it, say it with delicious, authentically cooked American Chinese cuisine from Panda Express. Have you eaten yet? Order now or visit the Panda Express near you.

[B]

Bob, any last minute is from you. I'm ending this travesty.

[C]

Viewer discretion is advised. Yeah, no, apparently there's a disorder syndrome, a rare condition that affects how a person sees faces. I'll just share this to. I don't even know how to describe it, but it like widens everything in a way to where it's like. And the face on the left is like how it's actually constructed. And then the face on the right is like a wide demonic mouth. Smile and.

[B]

Yeah, I got this, listeners. Imagine the first Mario party, the minigame where you had to like stretch people's eyes and mouths and noses. Just imagine stretching the eyes out, the nose out, and the mouth all the way to the ears. Almost.

[A]

No, actually, no, I got it. I got it better. I got a better way. Imagine if a guy was so obsessed with Donkey Kong that he got plastic surgery to make his face look exactly like Donkey Kong. And you tell me that's not Donkey Kong right there? That's what it looks like. Like.

[C]

Anyway, I'm sorry to scare everyone so violently with that.

[A]

You can trigger that in yourself if you play that video where it's like you're supposed to stare in the middle and it'll change the people's faces on either side to go chunk, chunk, chunk. Because if you watch that video where you stare at the center and then the faces change, you look at them in your periphery and when they change the features from the previous ones, linker over to the next one as it goes faster, faster. They look more monstrous. But as soon as you look towards them, they look perfectly normal. But you stare in the center, it'll. It'll look horrifying. Works with almost everybody.

[C]

No, this is, this is a crazy thing. Only 75 recorded cases is what this article reports.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

And this, this fellow in Tennessee had perfect vision. He's like a middle aged dude, had perfect vision for his whole life. Woke up one day and had this and just about lost his entire shit because everyone looked not human anymore for no reason.

[B]

Would you think, like I would think actually that I either I'd gone crazy or like the whole world was being like taken over by. I don't know what I would believe if I. If I saw that.

[C]

I would definitely think I was going crazy. I would assume that I was having. It was a hallucination. And apparently the. Exactly how it is distorted is different on a person by person basis. So it's not like it has to do something with your physiology or your mental health interpretations of stuff like it. It's connected to the person who is experiencing the syndrome as well. But I would definitely just think like something is wrong with Me, I see a doctor or something.

[A]

You know who else should see a doctor? All the people on that subreddit, because.

[C]

All those brave heroes, those citizen jizz scientists.

[B]

I'm just glad we didn't have any images to share for the jizz scientists.

[C]

It's like. It's like one of those pop science articles, and it's just like a image of a white, like, lab table, very sterile, and it's just like a big splat across. And you open it and your first reaction is like, ugh. But then you're like, well, that is a lot like that does. You know, they're onto something that, like, that looks like a surprising amount if that's a real representation. Like, they did something, you know, like, good job.

[A]

I highly doubt any of that actually does anything, but, you know, only one way to find out. We're gonna. We're gonna do the distractible scientific challenge just to.

[C]

Just to make it all really controlled. We're gonna do no Nut December straight into Big Jizz December. No. No Nut November straight into Big Jizz December.

[B]

So, points. I got a point for. Oh, last episode. I had the Twitch clip number one for A Week with Molly. So I got a point for last episode and this episode for that.

[C]

Yeah, you know, that's not that.

[B]

Bob. You got points for bald. We don't want to say San Diego Hart. Boo at my ribbiting joke. Frozen doll. Bilingual frozen doll. Coming back. Lily Rockdale baby statue. Oh, the lily came after that one. Wide face for a total of nine points. Mark, you got points for confusing. No happy, which is a lie point number one. FNAF post movie done. Which is why no Happy was a lie point.

[C]

That one also feels like a lie point.

[A]

It might be a lie. There might be a retroactive lie. Who knows?

[B]

We'll just put it as a lie. It's been a lie so far. Why wouldn't it be now?

[C]

Damn.

[B]

Happy Halloween. Witches equal frog. Chica love frog. You have magical balloons times three. You laughed at my ribbiting joke. Two Hamburglars, maximum nutting via GQ for a total of 12 points, which two of which are lie points. So right now it's 12 to nine, but two lie points for the wheel. I'm gonna be that guy, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna say the addition this time is minus 5%. One man's show.

[C]

Oh, sure. Hey, look, guys, the wheel says we're gonna do three spins again.

[A]

Oh, you know what's funny about that? Minus 5%. Can you make it minus 7% because if it goes back from 6%, it can be 99% chance.

[B]

Minus 7%.

[A]

Because I love the risk part of it. Like, yes, it could decrease it, but also it could guarantee it.

[B]

We have to remember to add 10 next time.

[C]

I did it.

[B]

Oh, okay. I didn't know you did already.

[C]

I did that. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. All right.

[C]

Minus 7% to 1, man show.

[B]

12 to 9 to 13 spins.

[C]

Shall we?

[A]

I'm so ready, man.

[C]

I can't even kind of guess what it's gonna.

[A]

No.

[C]

Surprise. Golf rules.

[A]

Wade can't win. What the.

[B]

Well, no, we've never. We've never allowed the host to win. With golf rules. It would be Bob.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

I think it means Bob. Is it just end, or is that for right now that you're in the lead?

[C]

I think that just is a rule. Previously. It has happened at the end of the spins.

[B]

Okay? So least amount of points now wins. Meaning if Bob.

[A]

Go, Bob. Get these wheel spins. Go, go, go. Come on, Bob.

[B]

So right now, Bob's winning 9 to 12.

[C]

All right. Bob's winning 9 to 12. I love that for me, but I've.

[A]

Got two lie points, so those aren't real points until the in there.

[C]

Right?

[B]

That's true.

[C]

Deserves most sympathy.

[B]

Mark lied to us twice. I don't know if he deserves sympathy for that.

[A]

No, I had happy. I was so happy. That's why I was so. I was really happy.

[C]

Oh, I see. Yeah.

[A]

And I found that subreddit, so I'm going to be so happy now.

[B]

You know, I'm going to say respin. Nobody deserves sympathy this time.

[C]

All right. Respin.

[B]

No sympathy this time. Re spin. Sympathy was last episode.

[C]

Most self sabotage.

[B]

Mark. Well, hold on. Maybe not Mark, because.

[C]

Yeah, How. How did you arrive at Mark?

[A]

Yeah, no, I was killing it. I was crushing it. I was destroying it, I think.

[B]

Yeah, Mark lied.

[C]

Oh, wait, you're saying. Oh, I was saying neither of us self sabotage. You're saying I self sabotage?

[B]

Well, you booed at my ribbiting joke and you knew better.

[A]

Dude, Bob was tripping over his own feet the whole episode.

[C]

Yeah, he knew better than stripping over my outrageous piles of jizz.

[B]

All right, Respin. That's fair. I don't know. You either tie or neither one.

[C]

Used best word nut maxing.

[A]

No, not that word. I used no words. I used your words.

[C]

No words.

[A]

I don't think I said words this episode at all. I think it was a lot of grunting the entire time.

[B]

Maximum nutting. Might be.

[C]

I really liked nut maxing. I Thought that was great.

[B]

Yeah. I think nut maxing probably gets it.

[C]

It's okay, Mark. You could always get double Surprise Golf rules.

[B]

Yeah. Would that undo it? I guess it would.

[C]

It would flip it back, right? That's how it would work.

[A]

It would. It would flip it, I think. Yeah.

[C]

Drank the most.

[A]

You know, for the guy who was drinking a lot of water. I didn't drink anything in this episode. Last episode I did.

[C]

I drank like half a Gatorade.

[B]

All right. Plus one for Bob.

[C]

I. I wouldn't say that's a lot, but I guess that's more than Mark.

[B]

So surprise. Golf rules. Bob wins 10 to 13.

[C]

All right. You love to see it, Mark.

[B]

You really crushed it this episode.

[C]

You got so many points. Ports. You got so many ports, man.

[B]

Porns. Yeah. So much porn. Dude.

[C]

Your port. Your port's falling out of your dick over here.

[A]

Look, I lost when I was winning, but that when was back then. So that then's not now. So the win isn't now. But you know what? We're all winners because we've spread the wonderful news. We've spread today. And I bemoan the idea that there will see. I'm number one on the five nights at Freddy subreddit. We better not get number one on that subreddit.

[C]

I swear to God, the nutmeg seems so pretty. Wait, wait, editors. You can bleep it. What was it called? What was the subreddit called that was so bad you wouldn't read it in the episode?

[A]

It was literally. Well, I mean, I guess there's no harm in. It was called. That's. It's a real boring. I feel like it should be. Nut maxing is what it should be, but I didn't want to. Yeah.

[C]

How is it not r. Nut maxing?

[A]

Like, I have no idea. You know? Know. I don't know.

[B]

Well, well said. I guess Bob really underperformed. Got under my skin. Didn't laugh at my joke. Congrats on the win winner speech.

[C]

I booed you, the host and won. That is the best of both worlds. I knew what I signed up for when I booed you. I knew that it. Sometimes that causes you to give points. So it is kind. It's kind of a gamble both ways. But, like, I knew that that was risky. Risky and. But also I knew that the wheel only picks between the same seven or eight responses. So golf rules was due to come back up.

[B]

You know, that's fair. I can't hear the phrase. Knew it was coming without cringing at this moment.

[C]

Came big time. Golf Rules came all over everything.

[B]

Should this episode be called Fear Maxing?

[C]

Don't like it that much, but not because it's a bad title. Just because I don't want those images in my head where I can't see images, but I could sort of see them and they're think even with Aphantasia really sticks with you.

[A]

The only image you can have in your head is not maxing. That's the only image you're allowed to generate.

[C]

It's I have no. There's no setting. There's no setting. There's no characters.

[B]

It's just the Bob's Aphantasia superpowers. He can only see Nut Maxi.

[A]

Rotate. Rotate it in your head. Bob rotated.

[B]

You can find Mark at Markiplier. You can find Bob at my skir me at minion 777 or Lord minion 777. And I guess Bob lost, so he won. So he'll host the next one. Surprise Golf Rules. Until then, hope you got your Fear Maxing in in October. You know what you can't do in November? Podcast out your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained. One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly.

[A]

They do not always show up on.

[C]

Time, but when they arrive, you notice.

[B]

An individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as.

[A]

If they do not exist.

[B]

New team the new fragrance by Miu Miu, defined by you.