Wade Has An Interest

Summary

Distractible: "Wade Has An Interest" (October 3, 2025)

Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens
Episode Theme:
In this lively episode, the hosts dive deep into Wade’s love for Dungeons & Dragons, moving quickly from light banter to personal stories about gaming obsessions, local Cincinnati oddities, recent news, and absurd proposals for "fixing" the podcast. The episode showcases a classic Distractible blend of humor, friendship, creative problem-solving, and genuine geekery.

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Main Theme & Episode Purpose

Wade’s passion for Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) anchors this episode, as the hosts discuss what gaming means to them, struggles with making time for hobbies as adults, and the quirks of role-playing. The conversation meanders through their gaming histories, personal routines, city trivia, viral videos, football, and brainstorms for the future of the podcast. Listeners get an authentic, entertaining look into the hosts’ dynamic and the joy—and challenges—of geeky interests in adulthood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wade Opens Up About Dungeons & Dragons (02:54–14:49)

• Wade’s Barbarian Adventures:

  • Wade played D&D until 4AM, taking the unusual route of a "good barbarian."
  • He’s running an "invulnerable rager" with unique mechanics due to playing an EPIC6 campaign (level-6 cap, extra importance on powers).
  • “I go in, I get the beat out of me, but I actually take slightly less damage...” —Wade (03:21)

• One-Shot Campaigns & Roleplay Aspirations:

  • Mark pitches a rotating one-shot D&D podcast, wanting more improv and action, less traditional DM involvement.
  • Wade admires Critical Role but doubts he’s "Critical Role worthy" due to "their voice acting capabilities... I can do some voices but..." (05:51)
  • Humorous exchange of “Matt Mercer duel” challenges follows.

• Game System Innovations:

  • Wade discusses new, brutal D&D systems (reminiscent of Critical Role’s innovations).
  • Bob and Mark share their desire for more action-oriented gameplay.

2. The Realities of Gaming as Adults & Group Scheduling (07:36–11:48)

• Scheduling Reality Checks:
  • Mark laments that work/family commitments and "normal people" schedules make nighttime marathons impossible.
  • "I really try and reserve family time... I don’t have 4–6–10 hours a week to do nighttime D&D.” —Mark (08:32)
• Roleplay vs. Action:
  • They joke about excessively long role-play (RP) segments spent shopping in-game, even furniture shopping for an hour.
  • Bob: “Most D&D I’ve played... four of those hours in town trying to buy something.” (09:06)
  • Desire for a more streamlined, action-forward campaign.

3. Notable Stories From Actual Games (12:25–14:49)

• Warhammer Campaign on Twitch:
  • Wade shares wild anecdotes:
    • Playing in a lethal, action-heavy Warhammer campaign as expendable soldiers
    • Characters hallucinate due to botched cooking rolls: “...my character was seeing a bunch of monkeys... shooting lasers.” —Wade (13:50)
• RP Addiction Confessions:
  • Wade reminisces about his “GTA RP” phase, warning it's super addictive due to FOMO.
  • “There was a time where I got on at 4pm and was on till 7am... The fear of missing out was crazy.” —Wade (14:49)

4. Gaming Vices & Mobile Game Money Pits (20:05–26:22)

• Mobile Game Downfalls:
  • Bob describes his leadership of a top-ranked mobile game guild, only possible by giving out tons of in-game currency (“diamonds”).
  • “All you need to do to get people to call you king and boss in chat is give them lots of diamonds.” —Bob (21:19)
  • They joke about microtransaction spirals, addiction, and the sunk-cost fallacy, extending to Mark’s own Valorant skin spending (“easily $600 or $700 bucks”). (23:02)
  • “I need a vice, man.” —Mark (24:29)

5. Local Cincinnati Trivia, Parks, and Infrastructure (26:05–33:58)

• Hidden Cincinnati Wonders:
  • The trio raves about local parks they never knew existed, incredible green spaces, and even a “beautiful cemetery.”
  • “Cincinnati is really nice... One of the best park cities in the world.” —Mark (26:33)
• Random City Knowledge:
  • Bob shares the city recently sold its historic railroad for $1.5bn.
  • Wade dives into tech—self-repairing roads in Germany: “Repairs cracks and potholes on their own using microcapsules, steel fibers, and induction heating.” (31:36)

6. How to Fix the Podcast: Satirical Brainstorm (34:44–43:14)

• More Staff, More Boats, More D (dice?):
  • Mark jokes about needing a huge writing staff (35:05), Bob suggests unpaid fan labor, and Wade is adamant: “More boats.”
• Sex Appeal & Travel Vlogs:
  • The group debates adding “boobs,” anime effects, “hot tub streams,” and male nipple content as faux clickbait (38:43–39:29).
  • Mark proposes travel vlogs: “We need to get some big backpacks, take this show on the road.” (41:16)
• Absurd Content Ideas:
  • Surviving in the snow and being miserable for views: “People like it when people are miserable.” —Bob (42:15)

7. Viral News & Sinkholes (43:01–47:22)

• Shocking Sinkhole Videos:
  • The group describes a viral Chinese sinkhole video that looks “fake” but is real, discussing the terror of sinkholes in cities: “That shit just kept going down.” —Bob (43:23)
  • They joke about founding a series to go hunt for (or accidentally create) sinkholes at YouTuber houses.

8. Cincinnati Sports Woes (48:18–53:43)

• Bengals’ Recent Bad Luck:
  • Updates on Joe Burrow’s surgery and the team’s record-breaking worst loss.
  • “Even when it’s pain, it’s records.” —Mark (49:20)
• Bearcats’ Blowout:
  • UC Bearcats’ 70–0 win and the possibility of mercy rules in college football.
• Blocked Field Goal Weekend:
  • Mark describes seeing more blocked and returned field goals than ever before.
  • Sad but humorous discussion on the fate of Cincinnati’s O-line and chili as a possible culprit.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Wade on Roleplay:
  “I don't think I'm Critical Role worthy, but... having a full D&D thing.” (05:25)
• Bob’s Money-Sink Leadership:
  “All you need to do to get people to call you king and boss in chat is give them lots of diamonds.” (21:19)
• Mark on Addictive Gaming:
  “I haven't had anything... I need a vice, man.” (24:29)
• Cincinnati Realization:
  “Cincinnati is really nice... I just never knew they existed.” —Mark (26:33)
• On Roleplaying Tasks:
  “I had to RP with a tax accountant and attorney. That was the worst thing.” —Wade (09:56)
• Podcast Fixes:
  “Editors, give us all big anime titties.” —Mark (38:55)
• On Sinkholes:
  “Sinkholes in general terrify me... that shit just kept going down.” —Bob (43:23)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Wade shares his D&D experiences: 02:54–14:49
• Adult schedules and D&D challenges: 07:36–11:48
• Funny campaign stories: 12:25–14:49
• Mobile game addiction, money talk: 20:05–26:22
• Local Cincinnati/parks trivia: 26:05–33:58
• Brainstorming podcast "fixes": 34:44–43:14
• Sinkhole viral video discussion: 43:01–47:22
• Cincinnati sports recap: 48:18–53:43

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Closing Thoughts

The episode is a masterclass in Distractible’s signature tone: self-deprecating, scattered, endlessly playful, veering from confessions about gaming vice to silly fix-the-show pitches to personal routines and local lore. Through Wade’s interest in D&D, the hosts organically touch on the relatable difficulties of holding onto hobbies, the lure and trap of online games, and the enduring appeal of just hanging out and sharing stories as friends.

Transcript

[Wade]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.

[Bob]

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[Mark]

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[Bob]

Brilliant. Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

[Wade]

It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions, please use responsibly. This episode is brought to you by Mentos Gum. Keep things fresh. It's important, right? And I'm not just talking about fresh breath. It's important to switch up your routine whenever you can. I just. I'm the person who you can't help but chew. You put a mint in your mouth.

[Mark]

You'Re supposed to suck on it.

[Wade]

I'm like, swallow. So I kind of need gum.

[Mark]

You turn into a cartoon dog. I'm sorry. Next time we hang out, I'm giving you a mint just to see what happens.

[Wade]

And of course, another way to refresh every day is with Mentos gum, available in a range of fresh flavors like spearmint, fresh mint and strawberry Mentos gum. Yes to fresh.

[Mark]

This episode is brought to you by McDonald's new special edition Gold Sauce. There's nothing like the anticipation of when you know There's a new McDonald's sauce and you're waiting to get the chance to try it. Their special edition gold sauce is sweet, smoky, tangy, made to go on chicken. You have to go try it. New Special edition gold sauce at McDonald's is made for your chicken favorites. It's as gold as it gets at McDonald's for a limited time. All right, I'm gonna go get some right now. I'm out of here. Going to get McDonald's. I'll come back.

[Narrator]

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This face to face episode. Bemused Bob wants GM swinging. Sacrifices saving throws for familial bonds. Adjourns for combat. Wearying Wade doesn't blow his own horn, questions his vocal dexterity and poisons himself. Morale raising mark mauls. Mr. Mercer wants TPKs and Bribes Guild Membership from cancelling Curses to sunsetting sportsmen.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Narrator]

It'S time for Wade has an Interest. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[Bob]

I think we've officially run out of conversation topics.

[Wade]

Been a really long week. I was very busy. Played D and D last night till like four in the morning.

[Bob]

Why didn't you say that?

[Wade]

I'm playing up good barbarian, which is kind of crazy. It's a unique kind of. That wasn't intentional. Just happened that way.

[Bob]

See, this is the thing. You're the busiest person I know because you're always doing something and yet you come here and say like, ooh, I.

[Wade]

Don'T know that that feels like self promotion. So I don't want to be. I thought that interesting.

[Mark]

Just talking about what? Talk about what you do.

[Bob]

It's what you do. I self promote all the time.

[Wade]

Okay, well, I'm playing an invulnerable rager, which means I get more damage reduction. So I'm like, I go in, I get the beat out of me, but I actually deal, take slightly less damage, and I have this big sword and I just cleave it.

[Bob]

Cheating. If you come into the game, you're like, I'm gonna be invulnerable.

[Wade]

Well, yes, if you say that invulnerable Ranger just made you get more damage reduction early. Because we're doing what's called EPIC6. So we cap at level six and we just got to level four. So it's like, you only get so many powers, so many feats, so many ability scores. So if you have damage reduction and everything caps at level six, it's like, actually damage reduction of two or three is pretty strong. So I was like, okay, I'll go with that.

[Bob]

People have been wanting us to play D and D for a long time. We just don't have enough people.

[Mark]

I have an idea that I want to do. I want to find a DM who I like, get along with, who will give us one shots, where it's like they come up with the story. They come up with. There are a lot of really simple structures where all you need is like, you roll one die and you could figure anything out that needs to happen. But they give us a bunch of different, like a series of one shots, and then we take turns being the host. But also the host, like, doesn't have all the info. So one of us is running. So there's not a fourth person on the show running the game. But they would like, they would be in the background and the DM would be in the ear of whoever of us is running the show and be like, actually suddenly this hap. Like, then we get to take turns running it. So it's not just like I'm the one who does the D and D or something. And we all get take turns playing and it could be different characters. I kind of think it'd be cool if we had like set characters and they just jumped from universe to universe like it was in space. And we kept like looping around going into different. I want to do this, but I have not done the first step of. I need to find someone who is on board with this idea, who I like, I think gets our humor and would be good at this sort of. Because it's not a thing. Most DMs are like, it's a grand campaign or. Or it's a small campaign, but it's like, it's for our group because they have a group that they play with or whatever.

[Wade]

So I know my DM doesn't really like it. I'll do one shots. He's not really a big fan of them because he said it's like hard to tell a good story in that amount of time. It's a lot of cliche kind of stories. But I wasn't doing gaming stuff. I 100% could see myself. I could. I don't think I'm critical role worthy, but like having a really awesome setup where you have like the table. Everyone gets around like Critical role does and like having like a full D and D thing.

[Bob]

Why do you say. Why do you say you're not critical role worthy?

[Wade]

Their voice acting capabilities I think is above. Like, I can do some different voices but like, I think theirs are truly. Like, I'm not a voice actor as far as talent goes now making a character and getting immersed in playing my character. I can do that. Like they can. But I think that they are more talented voice actors than I am.

[Bob]

Matt Mercer, you're a. I'm throwing down the gauntlet here.

[Wade]

I've been trying for years. No, no.

[Bob]

It's so much better than you at voice acting. And everyone on critical role number on the screen.

[Wade]

Matt, call. We're going to do.

[Bob]

Yeah, you call. And right now set this up. 1v5.

[Wade]

1V1V1V1V1.

[Bob]

He'll take them all on at the same time, voice to voice. He's got this. My money's on him.

[Wade]

Mine too. I don't want those.

[Bob]

Very fine.

[Wade]

No, I watched they did a campaign on Critical Role recently. They have a new system, I think it's called Daggerfall that like they came up with. They invented this new like D and D system.

[Bob]

Daggerfall is the name of the first Elder Scrolls game or the second.

[Wade]

I might be wrong about that. I thought it was Daggerfall, but they did it. They've released a whole system that you play that's a lot more RP intensive and a little bit less dice. But it seemed pretty brutal. I watched their campaign. It's pretty brutal.

[Bob]

Pretty like they died.

[Wade]

It's a very like easy to die in system, in the way they played it.

[Bob]

At least like in person they died.

[Mark]

Well, if your character dies, don't you have to follow their lead? You're role playing, right? You have to play the role.

[Wade]

I hope not, because one of my characters died by being burned to death with flamethrowers and I really don't want to follow that role. That sounds terrible, but I've been, I've been super into D and D. I really enjoy it and it's like I kind of wish I could play more than I do. So like having like a really cool in person setup where everyone's like focused and paying attention doesn't have like distractions of screens and phones. Like sounds like a really fun idea. Everyone's immersed and buys in. It's so much fun.

[Bob]

Build it.

[Wade]

Well, I want to, but there's not a lot of people locally I know that play.

[Mark]

I would. This is the problem I run into is I love the. I have not played a lot, but every experience I've had with D and D, I really love it. It's really fun. And every group that I, because I have been invited or I've had opportunities, every group is full of people who are normal people who have jobs. And I'm like, I do my stuff during this is my job. So I had to do like 9 to 5 during the day is my avail. And like after 5, I have a son and I'm not trying to play D and D for four hours. One of the nights of the week when I'm supposed to be like cooking dinner and playing with James. Like I do want to do it, but that's a hard decision to make. And every D and D group I've ever talked to, they're like, yeah, we go from like 9pm to 4 in the morning on Thursday nights.

[Wade]

And I'm like, ours is 8pm it used to be 8pm to midnight on Wednesdays. Right now it's 8pm to like 2.

[Mark]

Or 3am and like it's. If I didn't have James, like, I would be way down for that. But I'm like, I really, I'm luckier than a lot of people who have to work more hours than I do. But I really try and reserve family time. And it's like, I don't. I don't have four or six or ten hours a week to do nighttime D and D when I work during the day anyway. It's fine. I'm first world problems.

[Bob]

I would be fine if it was like a seven hour session. I am fine. But most of the D and D that I've played in or been a part of has been spending four of those hours in town trying to buy something.

[Wade]

Walking around, walking around sometimes. Our current campaign is very RP heavy. So there's a lot more of like talking than there is action.

[Bob]

But I mean, like, it's more than it would be in real life that if I went to go get potions from town, I'm not gonna be there for four hours. I don't go to the grocery store for four hours. How they're talking to everybody.

[Wade]

We did an hour of furniture shopping once. We got like, we got like at a house and we had to go furniture shopping. We spent an hour furniture shopping in rpg. Yeah. What?

[Mark]

So that's a long time.

[Bob]

Going to IKEA for an hour.

[Wade]

Dude. One of the campaigns we were doing, it's not Vampire Masquerade, but it's like that universe, it's like, it was called Hunter. I think we played like Sam and Dean Winchester type characters, but weaker. My character went in, he was like a rich content creator. I was playing like kind of a douchey content creator. So I was like, that's fun. But he had a lot of money.

[Mark]

What is that?

[Wade]

Like, really difficult for me. I don't know how I channeled it. He bought like this property they were going to use for their base. They like set up, like, get all their guns and have this like, thing. And I had to RP with like a tax accountant and attorney. And I was like, oh, that was the worst thing that I did. It was like, ah, let me negotiate my loan.

[Bob]

You say have to. Why? Who said you had to?

[Wade]

I wasn't the one running the game and I was just a player.

[Bob]

Oh, my God. See, that's the kind of stuff is like, no offense to that. Your dm. Oh. Or any DM that does like that.

[Mark]

People like that. There's plenty of people who like that. I mean, all of the people there are so Many different.

[Wade]

It was relatively well received.

[Mark]

Critical Role is not the only D and D that you can watch as a series on the Internet. And there are plenty of D and D series that I have or like podcasts where I was like, oh, I'll see what this is about. And it's like an like an hour and a half of role playing of them doing almost nothing. And to me I'm like, oh dude, do anything.

[Wade]

Do something is Critical role more action based? Are they more RP based? I'm not watched. I've not watched like their longer form campaigns too much.

[Bob]

But yeah, I've legitimately not watched.

[Mark]

Honestly, that's probably. I know them, but I have probably watched almost zero actual critical other than clips.

[Wade]

I mean it's a hard balance. It depends what you're doing. They're definitely like times and games that you play that are more action focused. And there's other systems that are definitely more RP focused.

[Mark]

Yeah, if we were going to do something and we were going to take part, I would want it to be almost exclusively action. I want it to be very one shoty, very action focused. Because the point is it's just an improv game, right? Like for our purposes, it's a fun, structured improv game where you can have a goal that we don't all have to make up in our heads and agree upon because that doesn't always work out very well in our short form.

[Wade]

Especially you want to be more action.

[Bob]

If you're in town, out of combet, do you still take turns? Okay, good. No, because I was about to say if you're taking turns rping with people.

[Wade]

Are in initiative and take turns. Typically when you're fighting or like, like a fight is about to break out or something, like if you're just role playing, it's just like you do your thing.

[Bob]

That was good because I was about to say, like, I'm not saying it should be all fighting all the time, but it's like man, if you had.

[Wade]

To wait, you go to my potion. Unfortunately, Mark World Higher Initiative, he bought the potion. What do you do? Bitching him. I guess that's a two round action you've only got. Damn it. No, it's not like that.

[Bob]

Okay, good.

[Wade]

Also everyone's gonna ask Twitch TV lostinitiatives where I play. I did a system though on a show called Roll for It. Tyler was a part of like this bigger camp. It was a Warhammer campaign. They wanted to do like not a one shot but like a four episode series where it Was like, Tyler was like a general sending an army down to like a planet to do something. And they're like, what if we zoom in and we do like a mini campaign of that battle?

[Mark]

That's pretty cool.

[Wade]

So I got to join in as like one of the soldiers. And the guy who DM'd was named Sheepy. I forget his actual wand. The wandering in I think is his at. But he DM'd us a warhammer game that was very action oriented. And he had us make like four character sheets that were pretty quick to make. But he's like, there will probably be death in this game. Your character is expendable. So we kind of made some silly characters. But it was very action oriented. It was just constant. Like we were at war somehow. We were great at war, but we had to like cook meals in our downtime to eat. We sucked at that. So we kept poisoning ourselves. And there was a point where we rolled like the. It was like a D100 system where 1 is great, a 100 is terrible. And our cook rolled, I think a 1 or a 2 on cooking our meal. And he was like, huh, interesting. So we started hallucinating and we were like trying to stealth into this like combat situation. And my character was seeing a bunch of like monkeys that were like shooting lasers.

[Mark]

I thought one was good.

[Bob]

I thought one was good.

[Wade]

I'm sorry. He rolled high. He rolled the bad one.

[Mark]

Okay. He rolled very, very bad. Got it.

[Wade]

So I started hallucinating, seeing like space monkeys shooting lasers. One of our characters actually just believed they were dead. So they just laid down and thought they were dead. And I forget what the other hallucination was, but we're like hallucinating in the woods while we were trying to like sneak into this combat zone. Everything that went bad was from the cooking. Cuz we get into combat, it's like, oh, dude, one crit, one crit. Awesome. But that was a really fun system. Very action oriented. It was just like the pace of being like a band of brothers style where it's just like war scene, war scene moving, trying to fight the action, getting pushed back. That was a really cool one.

[Mark]

It's so weird to hear you talk passionately and have a bunch of knowledge about a thing that you really like. I know that you like things in life, but you don't ever share this stuff.

[Wade]

I don't know. I felt like I talked about D and D before. Just didn't want to.

[Mark]

Like, you've definitely talked about it, but you'd be like, I played D and D this week. Got a cigar.

[Wade]

I figure if people care, they'll come watch us play. Like they're not gonna. They want to hear me just talk about like rehashing.

[Mark]

That's not how that works. No, you have to bother the out of someone to get them to go click on something that they've never watched before and they don't know if they like it or not.

[Wade]

I mean, I super enjoy roleplay, like being different characters. I've loved a lot of my characters. I did gtrp. You did that for a little bit. I had normal guy. I really love playing him. I got too addicted to it. I will never do GTRP again. Because there's a time where I got on at like 4pm and I was on till 7am and I did that for like 3. Just all the FOMO. The fear of missing out was crazy. If I logged off, I was like, what if something crazy happens while I'm offline? Gotta be on the server.

[Bob]

Who do you turn into when the cameras are server? Okay. Well, no, it's good to hear you talk about something.

[Wade]

I really enjoy it. Yeah, I would love to do more D and D oriented stuff, but unfortunately a lot of people I play with, nighttime is the time.

[Mark]

Yeah, well, it makes sense, right? Like if your job isn't content creation, why the fuck would you play D and D during the sunlight hours? You have like shit you're supposed to be doing. You have kids you're taking care of, you have the work you're supposed to be doing. Like, it just is tough because I really do want. I have had several opportunities where I could have been like you, where I could have like gotten into a group. But it was always like lots of nights. Maybe multiple nights a week if we're. It's like, I can't do that.

[Wade]

I'm also the rare exclusive night owl. Like even right now, I'm feeling like slightly out of it. I hit my peak around like 8 or 9 o'. Clock. I'm like, oh, I'm so awake. Let's do whatever.

[Mark]

It's three in the afternoon. Just for context.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Right now where we are.

[Wade]

So like I don't get mark level of drive, but the closest I get to your level of drive to work is definitely evening and night. During the day I'm just dragging along existing.

[Mark]

This is basically your 4am no, not quite that bad.

[Wade]

Like I'm awake after noon usually, but like the first four or five hours of being awake, I'm just kind of like. Like how people feel when they don't have their coffee yet because I don't drink coffee. So I'm all. I'm just perennially in that until I hit my like, you should try coffee.

[Bob]

You should try coffee.

[Wade]

I don't really want to start adding. I don't know, it's not really good for you.

[Bob]

No, it actually they say it's pretty.

[Mark]

Good having like and multiple energy drinks a day. Levels of caffeine, like hundreds and hundreds of milligrams of caffeine. Oh, probably not very good for you. Says the guy with an energy drinks to him. But like one coffee in the morning to like get going. Actually not bad.

[Bob]

And coffee has a lot of antioxidants.

[Mark]

Yeah. They say you do have acid reflux. So I know people with bad acid reflux can have. You might have to get like low acidity coffee to enjoy it more because you might have a bad reflux from it. But they make that and like it works. I have a friend I knew who had like the worst reflux. I've like everything gave him reflux. He just eats like plain rice because. But low acid coffee also worked and he could enjoy his coffee.

[Wade]

Interesting. I know that I'll be a coffee drinker but maybe I'll try also just.

[Mark]

Get like decaf because that has a tiny, tiny amount of caffeine in it and it might give you a boost. If I'm not shaking violently from the amount of caffeine I had. I don't even feel like I'm alive.

[Wade]

I've cut back on pop too quite a bit though. Pop soda, whatever.

[Mark]

My little soda pop. My little soda pop.

[Bob]

You've been watching a lot of K pop demon runners.

[Mark]

That's like James's golden is James current favorite song. So we have a lot of dance parties to the K pop demon hunter soundtrack.

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[Mark]

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[Bob]

Oh yeah? How fast?

[Mark]

Like t mobile 5G home Internet fast?

[Bob]

Well, in fact, I bet you can literally hop online in less than 15 minutes and connect with their fast speeds at a great price no matter what your budget looks like.

[Wade]

On top of that, you don't have to worry about your price changing thanks to a 5 year price guarantee.

[Mark]

I didn't feel any air quotes coming from you on that one. I'm not going to lie.

[Bob]

With their fast 5G speeds, quick 15 minute setup and 5 year price guarantee, you really can't ask for a better Setup.

[Wade]

Visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check. Availability guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary to the factor affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions and details@t mobile.com homeinternet.

[Bob]

Can I talk to you about my unwavering natural charisma?

[Mark]

I don't know if I'll be able to withstand your assault.

[Bob]

I know, right? Can I unleash this upon you? So I've been playing that stupid mobile game, right?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Did I tell you any more about it?

[Mark]

Since I started talking the last update, your group, clan, whatever had folded into another one and you had been folded into the leadership structure.

[Bob]

Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so I started on a new server because I was like, I bet I can run things better than these ever could. I'm going to show them. I'll start my own guild. I'll start my own guild with my own rules. I'll do it my way instantly. Number one on the server. Like from day one, our guild has been number one on the server. Because I'm the best and I am giving them lots of D.

[Wade]

Free to play, Right, buddy? Free to play.

[Bob]

So turns out all you need to do to get people to call you king and boss and chat is give.

[Mark]

Them lots of diamonds.

[Bob]

And boy, do they love the diamonds.

[Mark]

That's so funny, man. But we're number one, baby.

[Bob]

We're number one.

[Wade]

But at what cost? About $150. I'm going to assume it's not per day and it's per. I've been spending all my.

[Bob]

Hey.

[Mark]

Running. Running your own kingdom is expensive. I get it.

[Wade]

Very expensive. Don't worry. Soon the profit will turn around. You'll start making it back, man.

[Bob]

It's going to get back on anyway. I don't know what's wrong with me. I. I need to.

[Wade]

Dude, I get it. Listen, I was the mobile game guy for a while. I get it. It's easy to get sucked in and like. Oh, man, that streak of, like, wanting to be at the top or be the best is definitely there. That's why they work.

[Bob]

That's why they work. Yeah.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

And so with this one, like, they're all such helpless sheep, and I need to lead them like the great herder, herder shepherd that I am.

[Wade]

I heard him, Mark.

[Bob]

Heard him. I'm gonna hurt him. All right.

[Wade]

No, I. Oh, he poor bastard.

[Bob]

But additionally, I have charisma, and they definitely follow me for that.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Wade]

You get a bonus to your charisma by giving out diamonds.

[Bob]

Yeah, it turns out money.

[Mark]

That's so funny.

[Bob]

Anyway, yeah, that's. That's my. My. I really need to stop playing that game because I really need to get back to learning.

[Wade]

I was there with Raid. Raid Shadow Legends guilds, man.

[Bob]

You know, I had a campaign for that, and I never played it.

[Wade]

I got super into it, but very big money pit. Very easy to fall into that one.

[Bob]

I don't know.

[Mark]

I've been trying to find a thing to get addicted to that I could give money to because I had mine. I'm not above it, but I don't. I haven't played Valorant in a long time. My thing for a long time was I played Counter Strike, and then I got into Valorant because of, like, competitive 5v5 shooters. And I would buy skins. I must have. Oh, I've never actually quantified. It's probably an embarrassing amount of money in valorant skins. Easily 600 or 700 bucks total. Probably because, like, I would. I would. Generally I would not. And maybe I'd buy one single one off the shop for like, a few bucks when they went on sale. But then they had a few sets in a row where it was like, for a hundred bucks, you get this whole set. And I was like, man, all of those are great. This will be the one time. But I haven't had anything. Like, I've been trying to get addicted to something, then cost fallacy is real.

[Wade]

As soon as you put, like, your first two bucks in, you're. You're in.

[Mark]

I've even been trying sports gambling. This sounds. This is a terrible take but, like, I like sports, and I feel like I would, like, like, I know you just lose money. I know that's not. And. But I'm like, I feel like I would enjoy sports gambling. Like, it's fun. You think about the game. You could make ridiculous, you know, prop bets or whatever they call them parlays. You bet on anything you want. It's really. And you just. You'll just always lose. Because the more complicated your parlay, the more guarantee lose it is. I don't even like that. Even when I win a sports bet, I'm like, well, I like. I don't know. I. I need a vice. I look, I need a vice, man.

[Bob]

The vice that for me is in these games, it's not so much about me buying. For me, it's. They in this game has a gifting mechanic. That's what gets me because I really like, you know, other people getting things. Other people. So there was an event that just happened on the main server that I'm on, and it's like, suddenly there's nine more things I can get from. Maxed them all out immediately. Yeah, they were cheaper, but it was.

[Wade]

Like, yeah, we should take Mark shopping with us or something.

[Mark]

I love gifts.

[Wade]

All of a sudden. I do too.

[Bob]

I would. I would. I buy you guys dinner all the time.

[Wade]

Yeah, like, except for auto mall. You want to go car my rentals looking.

[Bob]

You don't have a car. Yeah, we got to get you a car.

[Wade]

Yeah, that sounds great.

[Bob]

I'll get you both E bikes.

[Mark]

I wouldn't. Well, I do have an E bike, but I would enjoy one that was a little more casual. I have a white. An E bike that's just a bike that also has that. And I. It's not. It's like really tall because I'm huge. But I really want, like, a Super 7. I want one that looks like a motorcycle.

[Wade]

I've not been on a bike of any kind in probably 10 years.

[Bob]

It's a good way to get in shape, even if it's an E bike. So long as you pedal like you're still getting some kind of workout, then, yeah, you could do that.

[Mark]

They are fun, though. I recently tuned mine up and brewed it for the first time in a while. We don't live in a great spot here to, like, ride it anywhere useful, but it's really fun.

[Bob]

Oh, you know, that reminds me is like, Amy showed me Alt Park. I didn't know about Alt Park. It's a great place.

[Wade]

Is that where the hobos went to sex?

[Mark]

What the. No.

[Bob]

What are you talking about?

[Wade]

Wasn't there a whole bit like 10 years ago when we were in LA, it was like, that's where the homeless people go to.

[Mark]

Alt park is in Cincinnati. Oh, that place you never leave.

[Bob]

See, this is why when we did the Cincinnati episode, we did such a terrible job. Because I didn't know about Alt Park.

[Wade]

I guess I still. I've never been there.

[Mark]

Cincinnati is really nice.

[Bob]

One of the best park cities in the world. It has incredibly maintained and beautiful parks and everywhere. I just never knew they existed.

[Mark]

Yeah, I never really did park stuff until James. But pretty much everywhere we've gone, anywhere in the city or in the suburbs is like, wow, this is beautiful.

[Wade]

The related note, isn't there also like a. There's a really beautiful cemetery here. I forget the name of it. That's not Alt park, but it's.

[Mark]

Is that Spring Grove? No, that's down by uc. I don't know if that would be beautiful. That one's.

[Wade]

There's one that's apparently really big and beautiful. I think I've been there once, but it's been since like 2010. I don't remember the name of it. It might be Spring Grove.

[Bob]

I went to this, right? We were taking Chee and Henry out to random parks all over the place. There's one of the biggest dog parks I've ever seen in my life by these huge soccer fields that is just like by Lunkin. And then there's another one that this park behind a gold star. Just randomly on this back row behind a gold star. I'm sure this has a name and everyone knows about it, but it was like. It's one of the prettiest park is like a circle in the front, two things in there, and a huge nature trail going through the whole woods there. And then in on that road, the main road is like. I'm looking down and there's. It's like this amphitheater style, but grass. Like, it's a grass that's been cut. But then it. It goes to tall like wildflowers. And it's just the trees funnel down. It looks like an amphitheater. It looks like intentionally doesn't mean it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And I'm like, this is just behind a gold star.

[Wade]

There's a lot of people. I mean, the nature center where Molly and I got married, that's a beautiful place. They got beautiful walking paths. There's all kinds of parks. I'm sure there's some I've even missed. There's parks behind churches. There's. I swear they hide some of them intentionally so people don't know about them.

[Bob]

Cincinnati has incredible features. Why didn't we name any. Any of them? In the episode where we talk about.

[Mark]

Cincinnati, that's not what we do.

[Wade]

We got in the ones everyone talks about, Kings island, and that's it.

[Bob]

Did you know Cincinnati used to. They sold it recently. Own a railroad that stretched from Cincinnati down to Louisiana? No, I didn't know the entire railroad.

[Mark]

The city did.

[Bob]

The city did. Yeah. And they just sold it a couple years ago. It was on a vote. I wasn't here for it. You guys probably voted for it.

[Mark]

We could have been around people a couple years. I was. Yeah. I just got here.

[Bob]

Right, right. Did you. You might have voted for it or against it.

[Wade]

It might have.

[Bob]

Yeah. Anyway, it was. It was one of those propositions that you're supposed to read up. Anyway, they sold it for $1.5 billion billion dollars.

[Wade]

We could have been railroad folk. We could have bought that.

[Mark]

I've always dreamed of running a railroad.

[Bob]

Well, they sold it. It was controversial because they'd owned it since, like, the 1800s, and it had been making Cincinnati money. Yeah.

[Wade]

I wouldn't have wanted to get rid of that.

[Mark]

Well, and I'm a little. I mean, I know that railroads can be privately owned, but I'm a little surprised that they could, because that sort of thing. Part of the problem modernly with railroads is that to make them, the government has to seize land. Right. Like, they use eminent domain to just take people's property or get huge easements on people's property. That doesn't work so well in the modern world where everything is pretty. Especially around cities, at least everything's pretty jammed up. There's not like. It's not like there's just empty space and no one is using it, but. Yeah. So that they had a bunch of property tied up in that as well, which is why it was so valuable. But it's crazy that they could just convey that to a private party.

[Bob]

Yeah. For $1.5 billion, you can do a lot of things.

[Mark]

I feel like they could have got more.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's what a lot of people are saying. But it went into a trust that has since appreciated in value. It's like 1.6 billion now, and already there's been tens of millions. It's allocated to, like, road repair.

[Wade]

That's good.

[Bob]

Bridge repair, public services, things like that. So it's actually, I'm not sure, 100 of the times. But it was working out for Cincinnati Road repair.

[Wade]

This year has been kind of brutal. We had a really tough winter last year and the roads got really decimated. This over that course. I feel like this year I've seen so much more road construction and so much more that needs it. They were working on a thing years ago. I don't think it ever came over it. Did we talk about the podcast where they had like the self repairing road somewhere in Europe they were trying to work on maybe.

[Bob]

This sounds like technology. Are you sure you want to bring this up?

[Wade]

Yeah, because I was like, that sounds great. Why don't we have those? I don't know how expensive they are to make, but the road apparently like somehow defaults back to its original shape whenever it's done or something.

[Bob]

Whenever it's done. Done what?

[Wade]

It could be bullshit. It could have been snake oil.

[Mark]

I assume it must be heat related or something where it's like if it gets good direct sunlight and warms up, it will reform, redeform, it will shape itself back to some. I think the roads that I wish worked out, that I think they just didn't work out technologically. Have you guys ever seen roads that are also photovoltaic cells? So the road generates electricity?

[Bob]

I've seen that.

[Mark]

Solar electricity.

[Bob]

You've ever seen the pave. The sidewalks that are little pressure generators. So they like they're little.

[Mark]

Oh, that's cool.

[Bob]

It's cool. Apparently horrible maintenance on those things because people, people not only walk on them, they spit, they drop gum down there, you know, so it's like if anyone's been anywhere where humans walk, they realize like, ah, no, they're not perfectly clean. They got dog poop on their boots, you know, So I don't think that one's a good.

[Wade]

In Germany, near Cologne, the Durabast test road was opened. D U R A, capital B, capital A, capital S, lowercase T. Again, test road is open which uses an experimental asphalt mixture that can repair itself when micro cracks appear. Repairs cracks and potholes on their own using various technologies like microcapsules, steel fibers and induction heating.

[Mark]

Sounds pretty fancy for a road. Not gonna lie.

[Wade]

Yeah, but like how much money is wasted just redoing roads?

[Bob]

Wasted? You mean go into the pockets of those respectable construction?

[Wade]

Well, sure. Well, they could be constructing other things rather than just the same road they already built. Probably. I'm gonna say take their jobs. I'm just saying there's a lot of things that need maintenance that probably don't get it.

[Mark]

I think the thing that's annoying to me is the efficiency of road. Because the thing about roads is they're kind of. Without knowing any of the science of it. Roads are like consumables, right? There's no such thing as a road that never needs to be repaired. Roads are beat to shit inherently. They have like some of the heaviest stuff on them all the time, going really fast, putting really weird loads and moving loads and all kinds of stuff engineering wise onto them. It's not like if we just made all roads out of like concrete or some like really hard metal or some mystical material that doesn't exist that they would still just never be repaired. It would just be a matter of like, oh, well, this one doesn't need to be repaired for several years longer. Yeah, but it's 10 times more expensive to put in and you can't repair it. You have to rip it out and replace it. Like that might be the thing about asphalt is it's not very hardy, needs a lot of repairs, but it's super easy to put down fresh asphalt. It's not as much of a like installing roads with technologies, installing roads with induction heating in them. Anything that involves little intricate stuff you have to install and needs to go the whole length of whatever. Like how fucking long roads are. The cost is outrageous. And just dumping down some fresh asphalt and squishing it into place is. If there was a better way to do it that made financial sense, they would because they would make more money if they did it in a more efficient way. But it sucks that it's like in Cincinnati at least, it feels like there's no major roads that I use that aren't partially totally fucked up by some construction where it's like, yeah, even like.

[Wade]

Getting here today, I got like, I went a path that was like, why did I go here? Road closed. You go 18 miles this way to go around.

[Bob]

Did you use navigation?

[Wade]

I did it. Let me write to the road construction.

[Mark]

That's not very good navigation.

[Bob]

Maybe you should switch your navigation.

[Wade]

Yeah, it's that stupid rental navigation.

[Bob]

Is it Apple Maps? Is it you doing the built in car navigation?

[Wade]

I tried it today. I don't know that I'll go back.

[Bob]

The built in car one?

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Oh, well, no.

[Mark]

Oh, honestly, those are interesting, but they're still just never going to be as good as the live ones. But like my. My car has really fancy. It has live traffic, it has live learning. It tries to do all the stuff that like Google Maps does, but just doesn't do it as well because turns out it's made by a car company and not a maps company.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Oh, well, what were we talking about? Oh, ways to improve the show.

[Bob]

Right. D and D. Okay, that was one.

[Mark]

You know how we improve the show.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Shows like late night shows have staffs of like hundreds of people. We don't have enough hundreds of people feeding us things to talk about.

[Bob]

You know where we could get hundreds of people really quickly?

[Mark]

Go bear staff. Once the show goes off the air. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Wade]

I laughed because it was dark, not because I'm like haha. Yeah, the fans.

[Bob]

Oh, well, we're not gonna pay them or anything like that.

[Mark]

No, yeah, yeah. This is, it's a. We'll pay an exposure.

[Wade]

There are no fan labor laws as far as I know.

[Bob]

I like that. I like that. What does staff do at those shows?

[Mark]

Honestly, I'm not sure what a hundred and one hundred fifty people do on a show. It's a show that airs five nights a week, so probably like some number of them. Like write like the interview questions.

[Wade]

Oh, for that show specifically, I'm not gonna say skim off the top. That sounds like I'm making an accusation. Yeah, Staff in general.

[Bob]

So you're one those types that wants Jimmy Kimmel off the. Off the air, huh?

[Wade]

No, Kim was fine.

[Bob]

He's fine.

[Wade]

Oh man, before I go into it, I'll go into it. But no, I do not think people should be taken off the air for that.

[Bob]

Oh, really?

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Tell me more. Nope. Look, I've met Mr. Kimmel. I'll tell you about him. I didn't really talk to him.

[Wade]

I never met him. He's fine. I was a Craig Ferguson guy. I love Craig.

[Mark]

You don't know Craig Ferguson. He's a scotch guy. He had the Skeleton. Jeff was the sidekick.

[Wade]

Jeffrey Peterson.

[Mark]

Jeffrey Pearson. The late Late show with Craig Ferguson.

[Bob]

Jordan Peterson on as Jeffrey.

[Mark]

Jeffrey Peterson, the Skeleton.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Not ah, I don't know what the you're talking about.

[Wade]

He had the harmonica at his desk. A little snake mug. I think they're bits.

[Mark]

He's got lots of bits.

[Wade]

Cbs, because he always did the CBS cares. But one night his like studio was leaking just actively so he had like a bucket next to his desk catching water leaks from the ceiling.

[Bob]

Sounds like a really high budget show.

[Wade]

Oh, it was better than it was like that. Honestly. It was, it was just so. It was very funny. He was my favorite night host by far.

[Mark]

Anyway, whatever he did, we should get some of his people, his staff. Probably got nothing going on now we want to get some of them.

[Bob]

Colbert is off.

[Mark]

He's got to be off the air, like, in the spring or something. It's. It's canceled. But he's through the end of his contract or however it works.

[Bob]

Canceled. So why don't we get his writers?

[Mark]

Yeah, well, just get him.

[Wade]

Get him to do our show.

[Mark]

Yeah, he's probably not busy.

[Bob]

All right, cool.

[Mark]

Stephen Colbert is gonna fix distractible.

[Bob]

Yeah. Okay, so that's idea two.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Bob]

Stephen Colbert. I like that idea. How to improve the podcast.

[Wade]

More boats.

[Bob]

That was your idea last time we tried.

[Wade]

Still my boat. Still my. I said more D. How quickly we forget. He won.

[Bob]

And two, and I'm.

[Wade]

What are your ideas, Mr.

[Bob]

I'm the host.

[Mark]

His idea is to make it better. I don't see this.

[Bob]

I have it all up here, man. Let me tell you. You are weirdly ahead. I don't know how.

[Wade]

Well, I definitely don't have any ideas.

[Bob]

Okay. But you're strangely ahead. All right, this is how we fix the podcast. We may sex.

[Wade]

Get Mark. Stilts.

[Mark]

Naked stilts.

[Bob]

Mark, it's not your turn yet.

[Mark]

Oh, okay.

[Bob]

It's not your turn.

[Wade]

You just point at me and say, he's pointing.

[Mark]

Like.

[Bob]

Then I start talking.

[Wade]

Yeah, I don't care about that.

[Bob]

You were just saying to me.

[Mark]

Roll back.

[Bob]

He was like, well, you come up with an idea, Dumbo. Stupid ears and your dumb face. Make him say those things at me. Hey, dumb.

[Wade]

Both your stupid ears, your stupid face. How'd you do that?

[Bob]

Holy. What the. Funny. That edit was crazy good.

[Wade]

My mouth match.

[Bob]

I made your mouth moving everything. Anyway, sex. We need more sex appeal. All right, I'm not gonna lie. I haven't been working out.

[Mark]

I have been working out. It just doesn't do anything. I got years and years of working out to catch up.

[Bob]

We need more. Like this game that I'm playing. Boobs. Got it.

[Wade]

Isn't there none in the game?

[Mark]

Editors give us all big anime titties.

[Bob]

Whoa.

[Wade]

We do them.

[Mark]

Yeah. We don't have to do anything. They just need to be on screen.

[Bob]

Yeah. That's all that matters.

[Mark]

Like old school?

[Bob]

Like old school. Which school did you go to?

[Mark]

New. I assume it's old school because I do it differently. And I do.

[Bob]

Back in the day. Back in the day, they showed a lot more clear.

[Mark]

Before we had hot tub streams. We just had super high angle down shirt stream angles. That was a big thing. Is hot tub streaming still a big deal?

[Bob]

Listen, there's no demonetization on Spotify, so We can do whatever we want.

[Mark]

Really?

[Bob]

Yeah. Here's some nipples. They're male nipples.

[Mark]

Whoa. Well, so what else sells?

[Bob]

What else sells?

[Mark]

Drugs.

[Wade]

I don't really want to do Ballpark Franks.

[Mark]

Ballpark Franks? That sells.

[Bob]

Yep.

[Mark]

That's what they. Sex drugs in Ballpark Franks. That's what Led Zeppelin was famous for.

[Bob]

Did any of us go to marketing school? No, no, no.

[Wade]

That's philosophy. What is marketing?

[Mark]

Yeah. Shouldn't your answer be, well, I study philosophy, so I basically understand how marketing works. I understand the nature of things, so that includes marketing.

[Wade]

JP was in marketing. I know someone was in marketing. He did marketing for the Tampa Bay Lightning. That's real marketing.

[Bob]

Call him up.

[Wade]

Like, actually, he's not gonna.

[Mark]

Well, he might answer. He's probably like. Like playing soccer or whatever he does.

[Wade]

Yeah, he's probably busy. He's young, too. 26. He's got a whole lot of marketing ahead of him.

[Bob]

That's straight up.

[Mark]

We could pay him less because he's so young. Territory or none. Pay him in fun Exposure.

[Narrator 2]

Your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained. One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. New team. The new fragrance by Miu Miu, defined by you.

[Mark]

So is the show fixed yet or do we need more ideas?

[Bob]

Need more ideas. What were you saying about stilts?

[Wade]

Some stilts for you. So you could be the same height.

[Mark]

As Bob and I think what's really popular right now. This is very current and up with the trends. Travel vlogs. We need to get some big backpacks.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Mark]

Take this show on the road.

[Bob]

Okay. All right, That's.

[Wade]

I'll do that virtually from my house.

[Mark]

No, no, that. We have to go trek around and climb mountains.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

People love that.

[Bob]

Especially the cold place. Lots of snow. We should do this podcast in the snow.

[Mark]

Have you guys seen Outdoor Boys?

[Bob]

Yes, of course I have.

[Mark]

Even though he retired distractible. But it's minus 20 degrees Fahrenheit and windy. We have to dig into the 15 foot snow bank and craft our own cave system so we can survive the night.

[Bob]

And then we do a podcast, and.

[Mark]

Then we talk about the same inane we always talk about.

[Bob]

But it will have so many more views. You in?

[Wade]

My cardboard cutout agency will be with you shortly.

[Bob]

You don't have a choice. You're going to.

[Mark]

Yeah, you're outvoted. So we're doing that.

[Bob]

Listen, you'll hate it, but that's even better for content.

[Wade]

Great.

[Bob]

More miserable. We got to be more miserable. People like it when people are miserable.

[Mark]

Yeah, but we have to have the whole spectrum, right? Wade will be the absolutely miserable one. One of us needs to be kind of upbeat. I don't know who would be better for that.

[Bob]

How upbeat can you get?

[Wade]

I'm the upbeat one and the miserable one.

[Mark]

Yeah, you can do both.

[Bob]

All right, cool.

[Mark]

You're pretty unhinged. You could definitely do both of those.

[Wade]

I can be on him.

[Bob]

Yeah. All right, well, that's good.

[Mark]

And Mark and I are just there.

[Bob]

Yeah, we're there.

[Wade]

Okay, so I'm the upbeat one, the unhinged one, and the miserable one, and you guys are just there probably in your trailers the whole time having a good time.

[Bob]

No, we were gonna be there with you.

[Wade]

That was so convincing.

[Bob]

Okay. All right, man. I think we're doomed.

[Wade]

We see a better promotion. That's what we need.

[Bob]

I have something could go anywhere in the podcast made to fill that gap. Did you see the video of the sinkhole in China?

[Wade]

I did.

[Bob]

You did.

[Mark]

That was crazy as.

[Bob]

Play this video.

[Mark]

It looks fake.

[Bob]

It looks. Yeah, it looks super.

[Mark]

Like, when I first saw it, I was like, oh, is that, like, really good AI video? Is it? No, it's real. Because there's, like multiple angles of all this crazy.

[Bob]

And it just terrified me because sinkholes in general terrify me. But that shit just kept going down.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

And. And meanwhile, all these people.

[Mark]

What is this about people standing there?

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. I'm five feet away from this 50 foot chasm.

[Wade]

Jesus. I'll be exactly in the middle of the. It's just going.

[Mark]

It just goes. Yeah, it just. That. That's the thing that makes it look fake, too, is you. Because what I've. I've seen videos of that happening in other places, and it's always like, oof. Oh, no, there's a stick. This one is just like it's getting sucked into nothing.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And like the foundation pillars of the buildings around it, the dirt is getting sucked out from around them. And it's like if I was anywhere near there, I would have got the out of there so fast.

[Bob]

I don't know how you fix that, because what people were saying, what people were theorizing, there was no concrete answer. What it was is that there might be an underground river there.

[Mark]

Yeah. It had to be. Something was getting washed away. Right. There was so much material missing, which I knew.

[Wade]

Know.

[Bob]

In conceptually, I know underground rivers exist because I. In Heist, we filmed in a cave with an underground river in it, and it was running water there. But conceptually, in my head, I don't. I can't fathom the idea that below us right now could be an underground river that we just don't know about, and that in this city, there was just either this big empty space that no one knew about. Why don't we know about that? Why don't we know?

[Mark]

Well, and that's the thing, too. In the city, you could see in some of the videos, the pillars holding up the tall buildings are in there. They clearly did some kind of surveying when they built that stuff. Probably they dug, they drilled down and put those in. They backfilled that. At least some of that material was something that they put back in or they brought in to make the foundation of the building, and then something deeper underneath that they somehow had no notion of existing was just, like, removing huge amounts of material until it gave way. And it's crazy.

[Bob]

What blows my mind is, like, I think people, when they hear bedrock, they think of, like, Minecraft bedrock.

[Mark]

Can't get through it.

[Bob]

Can't get through it. There's no need to think about what's below it. It's the bottom. But when bedrock, in terms of earth terms, it could just be a big arch or a dome over something that. Or nothing. You know, there are underground caves everywhere. Everywhere. And so the idea that there's just. We could fall into a sinkhole. Right now we should do an episode.

[Wade]

Where we just dig down till we find a sinkhole.

[Mark]

Oh, it could be a whole series. We trying to go find sinkholes in very populated areas.

[Wade]

We go to the houses of other famous creators, and we just dig holes in their yard until we find a sinkhole.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Wade]

To show them it's not safe to be there.

[Bob]

Do you understand how you don't find.

[Mark]

A sinkhole, Make a sinkhole?

[Wade]

Yeah, we'll make one.

[Bob]

Oh, I don't know if digging is gonna make.

[Wade]

We'll bring hoses to make rivers.

[Mark]

Yeah. I've ever seen those guys where they. They dig holes with a pressure washer. So they have, like, a big. A big vacuum, and then they have a pressure washer. And the pressure washer, like, just turns the dirt into mud, and then they just, like, suck the mud out. But the pressure washer also cuts really clean lines. So they're like. And they, like. They can make, like, pretty big, very precise hole, basically that. But we sneak in Beforehand do that underneath, you know. And then when we come in, we're like, oh, let's dig here. See what happened. And then. Ah, okay. What happened? And then their house sinks into it. Hopefully we all survive.

[Bob]

Yeah. Will we be down there when it sinks?

[Mark]

Well, we all will be wearing harnesses and hard hats, walk into the house with a harness and a rope leading back out the door. Everyone else is like.

[Bob]

Don'T worry.

[Wade]

We're here from distraction.

[Mark]

It's just insurance for the show. Like, they make us do this. I'm sure it'll be fine. And then as soon as. As soon as one of us starts digging, the rest of us are just like, pull me out, pull me out.

[Bob]

Okay. This is going to help the show for sure.

[Mark]

That would be some content.

[Bob]

Yeah, that would be good. Anyway, so. Yeah, it's the video. I don't know if you saw towards the end of it where that silver truck was. Yeah, it made it. That silver truck lasted.

[Wade]

Everything else is collapsing. How did the truck.

[Bob]

I don't know.

[Wade]

There's a truck that's sitting with, like, two wheels in the hole, just, like, barely holding on for dear life.

[Bob]

And literally, like, the concrete around the top, like, you know, divine protection of. Of this truck. But I don't know. That was a while ago.

[Wade]

I thought for sure. I was like, that truck is so gone.

[Bob]

That truck was not gone. That truck was absolutely not.

[Wade]

Is this, like, when did this happen?

[Bob]

It was this morning. No, yesterday.

[Mark]

A day ago? Yeah, it was very.

[Wade]

I was very busy.

[Mark]

It was like the. Yeah, like, they know about it.

[Bob]

That's okay. I mean, it's just. This is world news. It's not. You don't need to keep.

[Wade]

I don't keep up with world news.

[Bob]

You don't know what's happening in the world.

[Wade]

I live in the world. Tiniest bubble. Do I have some things to tell you.

[Mark]

I know a thing that you know about something that happened that's outside your house. Joe Burrows hurt again.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Mark]

He had to have toe surgery on his little toes.

[Wade]

Careers have ended over this particular injury. Like, it's very.

[Mark]

It is like a really particular and crazy injury because it. The hit that hurt him looked totally fine. He was being tackled, and one guy had his leg. The other leg that nobody was touching is the one that got hurt. And it's like a ligaments that hold your foot together, basically, right. He, like, popped a ligament in his foot that affects your ability to, like, use your toes and have balance or walk or run. And he has to have a surgery to Repair it.

[Wade]

He had the surgery now?

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah, he did have the surgery, but, like, he's basically out for several months at least, possibly until next season at this point.

[Wade]

I wouldn't put. Even if we were winning, it's like that's a potentially career ending injury. It's like, you know, rush back from that.

[Bob]

Yeah. But at least, hey, in the last game, they did. No, I know. No, I know.

[Wade]

You mean the franchise is worst.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Loss ever.

[Mark]

Even when it's pain, it's records.

[Bob]

I only saw the first quarter of it, and I was like, they could turn it around.

[Wade]

So the Bearcats, the UC Bearcats, they two weeks ago had the craziest game I'd ever seen. They put up like 50 points in the first quarter.

[Mark]

Didn't they play shorter quarters in the second half to get it over with?

[Wade]

They should have. It was. They won 70 to nothing against North Western, and 56 of their points were in the first half.

[Mark]

That's tough.

[Wade]

I was like, oh, Sun City football's back. And then the Bengals had the worst loss in franchise history. Oh, Cincinnati football's gone forever.

[Mark]

I. This might be rumor or something, but I swear I heard that in the. In the Bearcats game. At halftime, the refs went into the other team's locker room and were like, do you guys want to play, like, shorter quarters in the second half? And just like. I don't know if they're allowed to.

[Wade]

Do that, but, like, if they're good with it.

[Mark]

Yeah, I don't. I don't know if that happened or if that was just.

[Bob]

I thought there was a mercy rule kind of thing. That was high school. That's.

[Mark]

That's tough.

[Bob]

I remember Milford losing like 98 to 2.

[Wade]

When we went there, it was pretty rough. There were definitely like 70 to 7 games. We were not a good football team.

[Bob]

No, no, no.

[Wade]

That's apparently a couple of good years, and I think we're back to being terrible again.

[Bob]

Well, they put all that money into the news.

[Mark]

Football this past weekend was a hell of a thing, though. There were possibly more blocked field goals in this past weekend alone that I've actually watched. In the rest of my, like, football.

[Bob]

I've never seen a block field.

[Mark]

There were two in two different games, returned for blocked and then returned for a touchdown. One of them swung the entire fortune of the whole game. It was one team was up by like six, and they were about to kick a field goal to go up by nine. So it was like two score. The field goal was blocked, returned for a touchdown. And it went from them being up by two scores to the other team being up like 27, 26 with like a minute left in that. But then I. I don't remember what happened.

[Wade]

They still won. I think they hung on.

[Mark]

Yeah, I think they. Didn't they block another one? Yeah, that's what happened. Right? That was the jets game, maybe.

[Wade]

Was it the Jets?

[Mark]

There was. We were literally watching the game and also had one. There was like, they blocked a field goal, return it for a touchdown. And the other team was pushing and they just needed a field goal. And I was like, what if they block it again? What if they block another one? And they fucking did.

[Bob]

Wow. Yeah, I was crazy.

[Mark]

Crazy weekend in football. It might have been the Browns game because didn't the Browns be.

[Wade]

They blocked one and then the other. The Green Bay Packers.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, they beat the Packers. God, that's embarrassing. The packers are supposed to be like one of the best teams in the league. And the Browns defense is great.

[Wade]

Their offense is the opposite.

[Mark]

Yeah. Well, I can't believe Joe Flacco is still alive. But good for him.

[Wade]

Still alive. He's like 40.

[Mark]

I know, but he's playing. He's playing the NFL and he's like middle aged.

[Wade]

That's true.

[Mark]

Yeah, he's. He was a good quarterback and clearly he's still good enough to do it because he got them the win. But like, man, he's been doing it forever. I feel like I watched Joe Flaggo when I was a kid.

[Wade]

We did. Basically.

[Mark]

It's a long career. Anyway. Crazy football. Not the Penguins though. Fucking. And we play on Monday night this week, so everyone's going to watch. Yeah, Go Bangles. Set more records. An even bigger loss.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

How many interceptions can Browning throw?

[Bob]

Yeah, how many interceptions did he throw?

[Mark]

I think he threw two in this last one. They had a bunch of turnovers, I think two of them. Winterceptions.

[Bob]

When I was watching, not to keep the sports I going up, but when I was watching, I noticed because I only watched the first quarter and some change. Every single snap it was like someone from the other team was just right towards him every single time, every single place.

[Wade]

We have invested so much time and capital into trying to improve the O line and they're the exact same as they were like five years ago.

[Mark]

Turns out it might be a coaching issue or also turns out we just have no idea how to pick. Like we have O linemen who are objectively good because of their track record in their careers, but are now in Cincinnati and can't do anything ever to save their lives. And I don't. I don't know enough about football.

[Wade]

Something happens to corners and O linemen, if they come to Cincinnati, they. They can no longer perform, so.

[Bob]

Chili. They're allergic to it, just like me.

[Mark]

Yeah, they're all eating too much. Skyline. That could do it.

[Wade]

Maybe, like, jet propulsion.

[Bob]

All right, we probably should wrap it up, because I. I meant maybe that camera died a long time. We would never know.

[Mark]

We're down to, like, just Wade's camera filming like this. We can't use any of this.

[Bob]

All right. Anyway. All right, so there was probably an episode out of this.

[Wade]

Maybe three, two. Okay, I'm gonna flip this.

[Bob]

It's the only thing I have. Coin.

[Mark]

Does it have markings on it?

[Bob]

Yeah, it says DJI1.

[Mark]

All right. DJI I win. DJI Taylor Wade loses.

[Bob]

It's a. Yeah, it's slightly different. See, it's like, one's just pure black one's this.

[Mark]

Okay, okay. Okay. Cool.

[Bob]

All right. Okay. So you got this one.

[Mark]

I got the fancy side.

[Bob]

Yeah, because it's like. It's like you have, like, lots of dots, like, hair, and this one has nothing.

[Mark]

It's bald.

[Bob]

Bald. It's bald.

[Wade]

Perfect.

[Bob]

All right, ready?

[Mark]

That's a hell of a flip.

[Wade]

All right, wait.

[Bob]

You win. All right.

[Wade]

Hey, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Distracted. Oh, wait, that's not how we do it. Thanks. I was ready to start. I had an episode ready.

[Bob]

Do you?

[Wade]

No. Did you?

[Mark]

No.

[Bob]

I didn't even know I was hosting today. I thought I was coming over.

[Wade]

You think I knew I was hosting.

[Mark]

Right now once he told you. Oh, yeah. I think you knew.

[Wade]

That's fair.

[Bob]

Anyway, Bob loses.

[Mark]

I. It was nice to just. Is this. Does this count as a podcast? Because I would like to just hang out and talk about random stuff.

[Wade]

Yeah, same.

[Mark]

It's really fun to just do this. We don't get this very much, but, like, it's fun in person. And I was underestimate how to different it is in person. It's nice to just like, sit in the same room and talk.

[Bob]

Yeah, well, you got to build that D and D chamber.

[Wade]

Yeah. It'd be great for a lot of things.

[Bob]

You build it. I will bring myself.

[Wade]

That's great.

[Mark]

That's a heck of a deal.

[Wade]

That's true. Oh, man.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's what I want. All right. Okay. All right, we're wrapping this up because we've been recording for way too long, and probably most of it doesn't make it in, so thank you, everybody. So much for being a part of this podcast experience. Be sure to follow it or will kill you. Have a good day. Podcast out.