Distractible – "Wade's One Man Show"

Episode Date: January 23, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

Episode Overview

This episode is a hilarious and tortuous journey as Mark and Bob subject Wade to a gauntlet of bizarre, cringe-inducing Styrofoam sounds, all lovingly structured as "Wade’s One Man Show." The trio explores Wade’s deeply-seated aversion to Styrofoam, tier-ranking a variety of objects and noises while keeping the banter relentless and the discomfort high. The crew then launches Wade into a mock comedy routine, complete with philosophy jokes and relentless teasing, before wrapping with playful reflections on the episode's ordeal.

Key Discussion Points

1. Wade’s Willy Wonka-inspired Musical Introduction

• [03:37-06:13] Wade starts the show with a playful, improvised, musical take on "Pure Imagination," with baldness and self-referential jokes:
  • “Come with me and you’ll be in a world of bald imagination. Take a look and you’ll see your reflection.” (Wade, 03:37)
• The hosts riff about the classic "Willy Wonka" tunnel scene and discover Wade’s vague memory of the movie (Mark reveals they actually decapitate a chicken in the film: “[08:00] They literally cut a chicken head... I forgot that that is actually just there.”).

2. The Legendary Spit on Wade’s Camera

• [06:32-07:11] Wade admits he hasn’t cleaned a spit drop off his camera lens for “the past 24 episodes,” triggering ribbing from Mark and Bob.
  • “Sam, our editor, has been laughing at the same drop of spit that’s been on my lens for the past 24 episodes. And I’ve just never bothered to clean it or notice. Oh, I’ve noticed.” (Wade, 06:32)
• Mark: “Sam told me about it recently... he has the exact moment the spit landed on your lens.” (Mark, 07:07)

3. Wade’s Styrofoam Sound Tier List Torture

Set-up

• [09:21-10:21] The “Game Master” (Bob) reveals the challenge: Wade must rate and review various forms of Styrofoam via images and accompanying sounds.
  • “You will have to listen and review... If you want to survive. Rate them fairly and honestly...” (Game Master/Bob, 09:21)

Notable Sounds & Tier Rankings

• Cooler: Instantly placed in D-tier, “get rid of that” (Wade, 11:06)
• Styrofoam Cup: Given a surprisingly high rank—A-tier—at first, owing to mildness of noise ([11:47-12:08]).
• Thick, Broken Styrofoam: Plagues Wade’s nightmares; the noise is less offensive than the mere image ([12:17-12:56]).
• Ball, Hat, Small Nuts: Mixed reactions; ball lands in B-tier, hat is “absolute worst,” D-tier ([13:04-13:52]).
  • “Styrofoam hat is the worst fucking invention.” (Wade, 13:52)
• Cat Scratching Styrofoam: Triggers Wade’s F-tier; he recoils at the accompanying harsh noise ([15:03-16:07]).
  • “That’s F tier. Make an F tier for that.” (Wade, 15:09)
• Computer Packaging and Toilet: C-tier; noisy, but not squeaky/deadly ([16:13-20:59])
• Art Exhibit (Styrofoam Clouds): The only S-tier, which Wade awards so he “never has to see it again” ([22:13-22:25])
  • “I love art. I never have to go to a museum to look at it. So put it in S tier.” (Wade, 22:13)
• Bunny, Car, Coneys Container: Bunny goes into B, car and container make C-tier, with elaborate, goofy scenarios spun by the hosts.
• Broken Styrofoam (Revisited): Remains Wade’s ultimate nemesis—bottom of D-tier; sensory trauma ([27:46-28:01])
  • “That image is one that haunts my nightmares.” (Wade, 27:59)

Philosophical Disgust & Revelations

• Bob and Mark joyously prolong the agony with multi-layered descriptions, adding sensations and imagined scenarios.
• Mark taunts: “Did you know if you imagine yourself licking anything, you can vividly tell what the texture is?” ([16:42-16:50])
• Wade: “You guys really enjoy this bit... I hate you. But it’s brilliant.” ([25:35])

4. The Worms That Eat Styrofoam

• [17:32-18:38] Discussion of worms bred to digest Styrofoam both fascinates and terrifies Wade.
  • Bob: “The coolest little worms, and they just dig. They tunnel through it.” (Bob, 17:32)
  • Mark: “Now you want to talk about eating Styrofoam. Those bugs love eating Styrofoam.” (Mark, 18:14)
• Wade: “Those need to be exterminated immediately.” ([28:34])
• Bob counters with environmental optimism: “They’re gonna save our lives. They’re going to consume all the excess... Styrofoam is going to choke out the world unless we can make more worms like that.” ([28:38-29:02])

5. Wade’s Mock ‘Philosophy Comedy’ Stand-Up

• [29:29-34:28] Wade’s second challenge is to read a purposely antagonistic, philosophy-tinged comedy routine curated by Bob.
  • Wade (as stand-up comic):
    “How many of you idiots know what philosophy even is? ... Philosophy is whatever someone smarter than you tells you what to believe. Since I’m clearly the smart one here, I’ll just tell you all how to live.” ([31:59-32:24])
  • Jokes range from Descartes (“I think not, he says, and disappears”) to light bulb gags.
• Bob and Mark break into the script, clarifying, prompting, and laughing at the intentionally bad joke delivery.
• Group analyzes philosophical jokes, with Wade and Mark slowly “getting” them, Bob admitting he doesn’t understand all the punchlines.
  • Mark: “I finally got the rhetorical question one. Way too late.” ([34:23])

6. Episode Aftermath, Announcements, and Banter

• [36:08-end] Wade wraps up with mock humility and fun, referencing the constitutional law of "one man shows."
• Winner declared (by default): “Technically Wade has to win it though if we’re going to follow our own made up rules that don’t mean anything.” (Bob, [37:00])
• Hosts imagine pranking Wade with “a lifetime supply of packing peanuts,” flooding his house by every means possible ([37:09-37:24]).
• Wade reflects on the ordeal: “Styrofoam is a bottom, so it makes sense. But you know what’s at the top? Art. Art’s great.” ([28:12])
• Final words of support/commiseration (and threats for future episodes).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Wade’s Musical Intro:
  “Come with me and you’ll be in a world of bald imagination.” (Wade, 03:37)
• On Cleaning Routine:
  “Sam, our editor, has been laughing at the same drop of spit that’s been on my lens for the past 24 episodes.” (Wade, 06:32)
• On Styrofoam Hat:
  “Styrofoam hat is the worst fucking invention.” (Wade, 13:52)
• Painful Cat Sound:
  “That’s F tier. Make an F tier for that.” (Wade, 15:09)
• On the Art Exhibit:
  “I love art. I never have to go to a museum to look at it. So put it in S tier.” (Wade, 22:13)
• Wade’s Bitter Surrender:
  “That image is one that haunts my nightmares.” (Wade, 27:59)
• Bob on Saving the World:
  “They’re gonna save our lives. ... Styrofoam is going to choke out the world unless we can make more worms like that.” (Bob, 28:38-29:02)
• Mock Philosophy Stand-Up:
  “Philosophy is whatever someone smarter than you tells you what to believe. Since I’m clearly the smart one here, I’ll just tell you all how to live.” (Wade, 32:24)
• Consolation and Threat:
  “Your prize is a lifetime supply of packing peanuts going to be flooded by hoses into your house.” (Mark, 37:09)
• Mutual Suffering:
  “I think everyone lost. I definitely think there should be a Styrofoam warning on the top of this episode.” (Bob, 37:47)

Timestamps For Major Segments

• 03:37 – Musical intro, “Willy Wonka” parody
• 06:32 – Discussion of spit on Wade’s camera
• 09:21 – Game Master introduces the Styrofoam tier list torture
• 11:06–28:12 – Full Styrofoam object/sound tier ranking (with commentary)
• 17:32 / 28:34 – Introduction of the “worms that eat Styrofoam” science tidbit and eco-debate
• 29:29–34:28 – Wade’s script-read, philosophy stand-up routine
• 36:08–end – Episode conclusion, banter, declarations, and prank plotting

Tone and Style

The episode is classic “Distractible”—irreverent, creative, heavy on callback humor, with a balance of genuine discomfort, exuberant teasing, and absurdity. Wade’s aversion to Styrofoam is milked for all it’s worth, while Mark and Bob gleefully orchestrate the chaos. Even the “punishments” and “games” maintain an undertone of long-time friendship and inside jokes.

Summary

This episode is a comedic experiment in discomfort, targeting Wade’s known loathing of Styrofoam in a playful, escalating challenge of sight and sound. Highlights include a musical opening, the revelation of an uncleaned spit drop, a relentless sequence of grating noises, and a deadpan philosophical stand-up set—each layer of the “one man show” both tragi-comic and distinctly Distractible.

Listeners who enjoy elaborate bits, zany sound design, and the unique chemistry of old friends tormenting each other for content will especially appreciate this episode. Wade survives, but only just. If you’ve ever wondered how bad Styrofoam can make someone feel, or whether worms will save the planet, this is your show.