Who Want Million?

Summary

Distractible Podcast: “Who Want Million?”

Episode Date: February 28, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, and Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

In this playful, chaotic, and rule-bending episode of Distractible, the trio dives into stories of everyday mishaps and the joys of not-so-smart moments. The hosts reflect on past live shows, share random life updates (including hardware, weather, and Shakira’s health), and ultimately embark on a game-show style battle through the real “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” million-dollar questions. As ever, their competition is full of jokes, friendly subterfuge, evolving house rules, and a heavy dose of unpredictability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catchup, Tools, and Weather Woes

• Bob’s Workshop Updates:
  Bob details recent acquisitions for his tool collection (Ryobi tools, jigsaws, brad nailers, storage bins for “fasteners”), his interest in building cabinets, and the ongoing (annoying) Ohio winter.

  “It’s just, you know, feathering my nest, which is what all good woodworkers do before they start actually touching wood or building anything.” — Bob (06:47)

• Wade’s New Gadget:
  Wade reveals he bought a Worx Nitro 40V electric snow shovel, explaining his reluctance to get gas-powered equipment for rare snows.

  “People were like, you know, there’s an in between… there’s an electric shovel. And I was like, electric shovel.” — Wade (08:32)

• AI and Broadcast Backgrounds:
  Jokes about using AI art as virtual backgrounds and the padded-room aesthetic.

2. Health, Shakira, and Past Touring Woes

• Checking on Shakira:
  Wade follows Shakira’s recovery after illness forced her to cancel a show, drawing a parallel to the hosts’ own canceled performance in Amsterdam due to sickness.
• Amsterdam Show Story:
  Mark recounts being desperately ill (“coughing up horrifying green slime”) before a live show, the venue doctor’s dismissive “sounds fine to me,” and how Ethan ended up in a wheelchair after a dance battle.

  “I took a picture of what I had coughed up …clearly bronchitis or something similar… and the doctor comes in, listens to both me and Ethan breathing… ‘Sounds fine to me.’” — Mark (11:32)

• Dangers of Live Performance:
  The trio reminisces about accidents on tour: Ethan getting (softly) kicked in the face by Mark, Tyler’s knee injury.

3. International Rivalries and Sports

• Bizarre Hockey Antics:
  Bob shares the latest about the NHL Four Nations Face Off—Canada booing the U.S. national anthem, leading to unprecedented brawls at the start of a hockey game (three consecutive fights).

  “It started with three consecutive fights… America went on to win, which is just embarrassing. Isn’t hockey like Canada’s thing?” — Bob (15:35) Mark and Wade riff on Canada as a “historical nemesis,” with snark about international relations, and sidetracks into Harry Potter meets Rocky references.

4. Tech Talk: CNC Machines & Making Things

• Mark’s CNC Machine Obsession:
  Mark explains the appeal of CNC (Computer Numerical Control) machines for metal fabrication—how it’s a leap up from handling wood/plastics, and how it’ll enable him to build/repair custom parts:

  “Once you get into metal you need higher thresholds of both tooling and accuracy… you can literally make that part again.” — Mark (19:13)

• Axis Explanations:
  Bob clarifies 3-axis vs. 5-axis machines (“five-axis literally means you can make just about anything, which is very cool”).
• Potential Uses:
  They discuss mounting camera accessories, prop-building, and the possibilities of home metalworking.

5. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The Distractible Game

Setting the Stage

• Mark assumes the role of quizmaster, presenting every real million-dollar question ever asked on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”
• Rules are adapted for the group, including custom lifelines (two phone-a-friends, two 50:50s, one flex).

Notable Game Highlights & Quotes

• Lifeline Chaos and Coin Flip Decisions:
  • Wade immediately uses his Phone a Friend—calls Mark, who’s reading the answers.
  • Bob phones his dad for presidential trivia; dad answers “Richard Nixon” with instant confidence.
• Memorable Answers & Instincts:
  • Wade (correctly): “My gut told me to go with Dutch… But I’m gonna trust my gut and say Dutch.” (37:40)
  • Bob (on the less-famous Gettysburg Address speech): Uses a fake phone call with “Jem” who answers confidently—another layer of absurdity.
• Jethro Tull Winning the Grammy:

  “Who the hell is Jethro Tull?” — Mark (32:37)

• Francis Bacon’s Unusual Death:

  “God, I hope it’s Francis Bacon chicken.” — Bob (44:35)

Rule Lawyering & The Wheel

• Multiple meta discussions about fairness, inventing new “unfairness” coinflip rules to potentially overturn point tallies.
• Points are now distributed not only by right answers, but by being “most locked in,” “bent the most rules without breaking them,” and spins on a wheel that seemingly controls the universe of the podcast.
• The precise absurdity of scoring is highlighted in end-game coinflips and “unfairness” rules, where even the hosts are confused but giggling.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-------------| | 06:11 | “I got some bins to store my fasteners, which cool guys call screws. It’s fasteners.” | Bob | | 11:38 | “He listens to both me and Ethan breathing. And… I can hear his breath. Rattling outside…I don’t need the stethoscope…” | Mark | | 15:35 | “First ever hockey game I’ve seen that started with three consecutive fights…” | Bob | | 19:13 | “Metal fabrication is a threshold of production that is hard to meet…once you get into metal…” | Mark | | 32:37 | “Who the hell is Jethro Tull?” | Mark | | 37:40 | “My gut told me to go with Dutch… But I’m gonna trust my gut and say Dutch.” | Wade | | 44:35 | “God, I hope it’s Francis Bacon chicken.” | Bob |

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Game Segment Timestamps and Questions

| Segment | Game Event/Discussion | Timestamp | |---------|---------------------------------------------------------------------|---------------| | 24:22 | Game introduction, Mark as host, reviews rules | 24:22-26:37 | | 29:00 | Coin toss to determine first contestant | 29:00-29:12 | | 29:12 | First Question: Grammy Award, Wade uses phone-a-friend | 29:12-33:22 | | 34:00 | Bob phones his dad for the “Laugh-In” President trivia | 34:00-36:41 | | 37:15 | Anne Frank’s diary language (“Dutch”) | 37:15-38:22 | | 42:19 | First timed million-dollar question—Oval Office drink buttons | 42:19-43:23 | | 44:35 | “Which great thinker… died after stuffing a chicken with snow?” | 44:35-45:47 | | 47:12 | “Which First Lady was a 9th generation descendant of Pocahontas?” | 47:12-47:44 | | 49:35 | Predecessor’s speech to Gettysburg address—Bob’s “phone a friend” | 49:35-51:45 | | 54:12 | “Nephilococcygia is the practice of doing what?” | 54:12-56:23 | | 57:28 | “Drinker’s Dictionary—synonyms for drunkenness” | 57:28-59:02 | | 61:43 | Fairness coin flip: rule chaos | 61:43-62:03 | | 66:49 | Final scores and determination of winner | 66:49-68:34 | | 69:32 | Loser & winner speeches, sign-off | 69:32-end |

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The Endgame—Points, Wheels, and Winner

• Rule Bending: The second half devolves into wheel spins, losers’ speeches, and coining new award categories on the fly (“Bent the most rules without breaking them”).
• It All Comes Down to Chance: Through spins, coinflips, and convoluted fairness logic, the victory ultimately goes to Wade, who “schemed” his way through coinflips and wheel luck.

  “Don’t call it a comeback… I’m just happy to be a part of such a great episode.” — Wade (68:34)

• Bob’s Loser Speech:

  “It is outrageous that I lost… but I’m gonna lose with dignity and only make one dead dad joke, apparently. Dignity.” (70:09)

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Final Thoughts and Takeaways

• Distractible’s Brand of Chaos:
  The episode is a perfect microcosm of the show: friends ribbing one another, bending their own rules, interspersing life updates, and mining trivia and nostalgia for laughs.
• Memorable Moments:
  From AI backgrounds, tool obsessions, recounting disastrous tour events, and making up eligibility rules on the fly, the group’s camaraderie and cleverness shine.
• Wheel Decides All:
  No matter the logic or skill involved, ultimately, in the world of Distractible, fortune (or farce) spins the fate of its participants.

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For new listeners:
This episode encapsulates Distractible’s irreverent tone, with plenty of rapid shifts between game-show antics and genuine banter—perfect for those who enjoy friendly chaos and never the same rules twice.

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Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu. Futurama returns on September 15th I love this show.

[B]

It's a great show. I'm excited for another season.

[A]

Anyway, the Planet Express crew is back defying gravity and common sense from the creator of The Simpsons come 10 new episodes where the romance is hotter, the threats are bigger and the action is harder.

[B]

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[A]

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[C]

Episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Living in a big city like Cincinnati has challenges.

[A]

That's so big, Man LA is big like Cincinnati. Thankfully, Vitamin Water's new zero sugar flavors like Rehydrate Pineapple Passion Fruit Squeezed Lemonade and Triple X Acai Blueberry Pomegranate are packed with essential vitamins for when you're traveling across that big city.

[C]

So whatever the reason, grab a Vitamin water today.

[A]

Copyright 2025 Glass. So vitamin water is a registered trademark of Glasso. Good evening gentle listener and welcome to Distractable. This episode. Meredith Mark ails in Amsterdam, assaults Ethan, explains CNC construction, then asks the big buck questions. Warmer Wade ploughs hard with his powerful tool and is frankly brilliant about his grapefruits building. Bob fastens his feathery nest, sees Canadian scrappiness, taps his Tata and serves Siri Swine from Shakira's well being to Matt Murdock. Yes, it's time for who Want Million? Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractable this is the podcast where we're all friends and we sing and dance together as chums and pals and good people that have known each other a while and hang out reg regularly and talk and share their feelings.

[B]

That all sounded right, but somehow it felt wrong. All right, but I'm with you. I do. We dance. Have we ever danced in the same. And, I mean, we've been at weddings, I guess, and stuff, so I've probably danced near each other.

[C]

You're. Well, so. Well, I did not dance.

[B]

I did not dance in that.

[A]

Why would you go to that point in the song? Like, why was that your.

[C]

Well, so. Well, that's the part where we all arm and arm and leg kick.

[A]

You dancing the whole time. The entire experience is a dance, but.

[C]

That'S the part where we're all together.

[A]

Oh, I see. All right. He's talking about the you're welcome tour. The thing that only a fraction of you ever saw and no one will ever experience again. Because even if we were to put on another show, we wouldn't remember what we did.

[C]

Everyone who watches sees it every episode.

[B]

Nope, that's just AI art that you've hung on the wall behind you, I'm pretty sure.

[C]

Oh, it's not even actually hung on the wall. My whole background is AI. I'm in a padded room with white walls. More like off white. It's like a gray cream.

[A]

Mm, okay, good. Gray cream. Anyway, my name is Mark. This is Bob. That's Wade. We are here to bring you entertaining content week after week after week after week after week after week after week. And what thanks do we get?

[B]

Thanks, buddy.

[A]

Oh, I meant for. But, yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[C]

I got this as thanks.

[A]

Wow, that's incredible.

[C]

Look, you guys can see, huh?

[A]

Me. Careful, you're leaking your desktop.

[C]

Oh, well, no, it's just Shakira's Twitter. She had to cancel a show for the stomach flu a couple days ago, so I was checking.

[A]

All right.

[C]

She Making sure she's okay. Making sure she's okay.

[B]

That's rational.

[C]

Apparently, she performed a show a day after, so I guess she's all right. We got this award. Most people listen to our show, watch our show.

[A]

250 million streams, which is impressive.

[C]

I'm pretty sure these are all watchers.

[A]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[C]

We wouldn't get an award for those listeners.

[A]

No, the listeners. You know, I don't even know why they're still here after all the shit we give them. Thank you, listeners, but thank you, watchers also. Anyway, what are you guys lives up to.

[B]

Well, my life's not doing much without me. I don't know. No, you know what I did? Do I talk about that? I got more tools lately?

[A]

No. No, you didn't.

[B]

It's not Ryobi days, but I got some more Ryobi in my life. Did I talk about my tool? Yeah, I talked about my. My workbench thing.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you did. Okay.

[B]

No, but I'm stocking it up. I got some other stuff. I got. I got some bins to store my fasteners, which cool guys call screws. It's fasteners. I have fasteners. A variety of fasteners. Not just Phillips head ones either. Robertson fasteners. Roberts Robertson. They're Canadian. And they are squares. You put a square into a square, and it fastens.

[C]

Oh, so you didn't get the Robertson B.

[B]

You got the Robertson A. I also have Torx fasteners. I don't know what I'm gonna. You know what I am. I do know what I'm gonna use it for. I'm gonna build cabinets. Guys excited to hear my adventures in the building. Is any of this landing this. The more I say, the more boring it sounds.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I'm all. I'm all for it. I was just talking about CNC just before we started recording.

[B]

I know, but that's cool. I have a. I have a jigsaw.

[A]

No, that's cool. That's very cool.

[B]

Jigsaw.

[C]

Like the tricycle and the little cheeks.

[B]

Sure. And a Brad nailer. Ah. Little 18 nails.

[A]

Yeah, right? Mm.

[B]

That's most of it. I don't actually have the. Any of the materials yet. I'm not. It's just, you know, feathering my nest, which is what all good work woodworkers do before they start actually touching wood or building anything. That's pretty much it. It's gross outside. It's not a lot of snow like last time. It's just an annoying amount of snow where it's shitty and snowy and it's all already turning into mud. But also, it's 12 degrees outside, so it's ice mud now, so fucking thanks, Punxsutawney Dick.

[C]

Yeah, it took me a second.

[A]

I don't know. Winter's not even. Oh, wait, no, it's February. God, it's February already.

[B]

It's like the end of February.

[C]

This is usually the worst month in Ohio for weather. I was hoping we'd get away without one more snow, but of course, it had to hit. And you know what? I also bought what I would consider a power tool that has a battery and a charger.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And it's an electric snow shovel.

[B]

What brand, what kind, what size, what width?

[C]

The works. Worx Nitro 40 volt, 12 inch.

[B]

Works is okay.

[C]

It was rated the best when I was looking.

[B]

I don't have strong opinions about works. I've heard. I've heard fine things. 40 volt outdoor tools are what's up, though. I listen. It's all about the electric yard tools. Unless you're like a, you know, super serious.

[C]

There was the. What was the other brand? Green. Green.

[B]

Green Works. Green Works is good, man.

[C]

Yeah, I heard. I. That's what I was originally told, but I was looking at the reviews and the ratings on the Greenworks and there were more complaints and issues with the Greenworks than there were with the works. Maybe this one's Green Works. They just colored it because it still works. You know, it's supposed to works.

[B]

It's just regular works.

[C]

But it hasn't shown up yet. It gets here in a couple days.

[B]

Oh, thank God it's here in time for the snow to have been here.

[C]

Well, yeah, it was more so after the snow, I started bitching about it. People were like, you know, they don't have. I was like, I don't really need a snow blower. I don't want to have to store gasoline and stuff for a snowblower I'm going to use once every four years. And they're like. People are like, you know, there's an in between. I was like, you hire someone with a snow blower? Like, no, there's an electric shovel. And I was like, electric shovel. So I looked into it and I was like, you know, you talked me into it, so I had to buy it.

[A]

All right, well, you'll be prepared for next year, I suppose.

[C]

Oh, it's still February. There's still time for pain. And usually March or April gives us one more little spit.

[B]

Just Hawk tua and snow on that thing.

[C]

Yeah, but we don't rip it off afterward. What are you ripping off the snow? You don't rip the snow off. You plow it.

[A]

What do you think Hawk to it does?

[C]

It was a crypto joke.

[B]

Oh, the.

[C]

The alleged rug pull my guy.

[A]

Ah, alleged rip off. I thought you were.

[B]

I understood where both of you were coming from, and I loved every second of that.

[C]

It was a subtle joke.

[B]

You don't do that, though. You make the joke that's like hanging out there that everyone else is like, I won't do it. And you're like, ah, I'll do it.

[C]

Someone's got to.

[B]

That's true. If no one makes the joke, does it even exist? Not technically.

[C]

Schrodinger's joke.

[B]

I call those Hawking jokes.

[C]

They have sequels. They can be hawking to a joke.

[A]

No. Nothing else exciting going on in life. This is quite. Quite a hun event.

[C]

Well, we. I got a snow shovel. I told you Shakira had to cancel. You guys remember we had to cancel one of our shows because of illness.

[B]

And then Mark and Ethan weren't sick enough. That was such a funny thing. Literally, Mark was like, guys, I don't know if I can do a show where I have to sing and talk for an hour. And the doctor, the Dutch doctor came in and was like, he seems fine. What do you mean, a need to cancel for health reasons.

[C]

Thank God the venue had that non partial doctor at the ring.

[A]

Yeah, that. That really was for full context. We were doing a show, I believe, in Amsterdam.

[B]

Yeah, it was in Amsterdam.

[A]

Amsterdam. And so I was sick, Ethan was sick, horrifically sick. Voices are gone. So we're like, I don't think we can do this show. I actually, just to prove it, I took a picture of what I had coughed up. And it was. It was just like the most horrifying green slime I've ever seen in my life. Clearly bronchitis or something similar. And Ethan had the same thing. And I took a picture because I was like, well, I'll show the doctor and prove it. And so they called the doctor in. Old doctor with a leather briefcase, you know, like the. He listens to both me and Ethan breathing. And when Ethan is breathing there with him, I can hear his breath. Ratt outside. I don't need the stethoscope to hear what's going on in his lungs.

[B]

And I'm like six feet away.

[A]

And then he takes it off. Like, sounds fine to me.

[C]

He just had a training mannequin and he compared your breathing to the mannequins. He's like, well, you sound better than this guy. So clearly you can go on if the mannequin can perform.

[A]

Yeah. And I remember him asking now in the show, are you doing a lot of talking and singing? And I'm like, that's kind of the whole show.

[B]

Like, ah, that's exclusively what we do.

[A]

Ah, well, then just don't do that. You're fine.

[B]

Just. Just do a show that is improv comedy live on stage, where Mark just stands on the side the whole time and doesn't speak or. Or do anything and. Or Ethan and just me. Wade and Tyler struggling through improv scenes with each other for. That's basically what they expected to pay for. Probably.

[C]

Maybe we should have done the show. It could have been like the Michael Jordan flu game of shows. Maybe you guys would have had your best performance ever.

[A]

Maybe. Except that one time almost passed out in the middle of a dance battle. Later on, when we're doing later shows, they start going dizzy. Like, who got kicked?

[B]

Didn't Ethan kick somebody?

[C]

Or Tyler ended up in a wheelchair in Atlanta.

[B]

Yeah, he still. He still blames that on me because he's. He. We're doing a thing, and he stepped on me and it ruined his knee forever, and he had to have surgery on it. I don't feel like I did a lot, but I was the thing he stepped on, so I guess it's my fault.

[A]

It makes sense. Yeah. Have you learned your lesson?

[C]

I do remember someone getting kicked. I don't remember who it was or who did the.

[B]

Somebody got, like, kicked in the face a little bit. I think Ethan got kicked in the face a little bit, but I don't remember why or who it was. Something to do with the dance battle.

[A]

A lot of people. Oh, yeah, no, I did. I kicked him.

[B]

Oh, you kicked him in the face?

[A]

I kept him right in the face. Yeah. I have a video that's like the thumbnail is the freeze frame of me kicking him in the face. I did that.

[C]

Sad that it happened. Beautiful that you got it as a thumb.

[B]

Well, honestly, it was a soft kick. He barely got kicked in the face. He was fine.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of flailing going on in our dance battles.

[C]

Even us trained professionals can have some mishaps, it seems. Anyway, I saw that Shakira had to cancel for similar reasons. She was in the hospital with, like, a stomach flu. Apparently, the doctor went to the hospital, was like, looks like you can perform. But unfortunately, they couldn't fit all 10 million people into her hospital room, so they had to cancel.

[A]

Just shows that she's a quitter.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

So are we.

[A]

Yeah, well, obviously we are, but.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

We're in good company here.

[B]

This isn't a thing that happened to me, but I thought it was very interesting. And, Mark, you're on the sports podcast, so this will be appealing to you. The NHL Four Nations Face off has been happening, which is kind of like a cooler version of, like, an All Star Game. Basically, this. It's America, Canada, Finland, and Sweden, and they're like national teams, but it's just like a little mini tournament in the middle of the NHL season. And it's cool. Like all the best players are all playing all on the same. It's very fun. For no apparent reason, Canada has taken to booing the American national anthem at NHL games. And it's inexplicable. And the American, they did that at a. In a game in Canada where it was USA versus Canada. And the USA players didn't take very kindly to that. They were, they stood up for themselves. And this is the first ever hockey game I've seen that started with three consecutive fights. Literally. They lined up at center ice to drop the puck. The ref was all dropped it. And guys were just like, my turn. Boom. Fight. Two seconds off the clock. And they lined and fought it out. And then guys in the penalty box lined up again, another fight. Lined up again, another fight. After all that, America actually went on to win, which is just embarrassing. Isn't hockey like Canada's thing? They have other things like mooses and hockey. Right. Like what goes on up there? Curling. I guess they'll beat us at curling, but I don't know. But what? The US won three to one. But that's probably the craziest hockey game I've ever seen. Tensions were a little high, but it was very entertaining and also a little like the third fight started and everyone was kind of like, it's not fun anymore. That's too much.

[A]

God.

[C]

Booing the national anthem is kind of like spitting on Jesus when he's still a baby in the crib. Nationalism and God are side by side.

[A]

Well, Canada historically has always been our enemy. In fact, our nemesis.

[B]

I'd say they're pretty hot blooded as a people.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I think that they're both our nemesis and nowhere near equivalent to us. So they're like a non threat. But we should definitely antagonize them at every turn and disparage them. But they're welcome to join us.

[C]

I don't know that we have anyone in the world we can call friend.

[B]

I mean, well, if they want to get better at hockey, we're the one that's better. So they should probably. Anyway, I just thought that was pretty wild. Lots of fighting.

[C]

Britain was really rude to us, so we ruined their tea party. So they're not really our friends.

[A]

Yep. Enemy.

[C]

Mexico and Canada a little bit too close for comfort. It's like, give us some space.

[A]

Yeah, I know, right? Enemies now. Russia always been friendly.

[C]

Sarah Palin could see it from her house. Basically a US state which Is like.

[B]

The right distance to be, you know, good friends.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Gotta be at least a little bit.

[C]

And I saw a picture recently of Rocky Balboa and Dragon. Dragon Man.

[A]

Drago. Drago Malfoy.

[C]

Yeah, that's it. Hugging it up. Which means that they've made up for their big fight.

[B]

I loved it in Rocky 3 when he finally gave Dabi a sock and let him go cold. Lucius Malfoy was like, my son lost at boxing. Here's a sock. And Dabi was like, oh, bye. You know, classics.

[A]

Voldemort rose from the cauldron and said, if he dies, he dies.

[C]

He's just on the back of Vladimir Godwell's head.

[B]

Yeah. God, I love movies. Could see why you're so passionate about it, Mark.

[A]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[C]

Yeah. The Canada Hockey game. How dare they.

[A]

I don't know anything about that because I don't follow sports, but I do follow cnc.

[B]

Cartoon Network Cartoon.

[A]

No, that. No. No, not at all.

[C]

The chair of National Colorado's.

[A]

I will give someone a point if they can tell me what CNC stands for. And here's the kicker. I don't know what it stands for, so I won't know if you're right.

[B]

I. I thought. I just had a thought. I was like, oh, I know that. Did you? Do I know that?

[A]

Do I. I don't know that.

[B]

Computer navigated cutting.

[A]

That's pretty good.

[C]

That's cold needle cutting.

[B]

Mmm.

[A]

Okay. All right, I'll take it. Let's see. Actually, what does it stand for? I don't know.

[B]

What does that stand for? I swear I definitely have heard. I definitely should know that, but I can't remember.

[A]

Okay, you want to hear it? It's computer numerical control, which I did not know. I did not know that.

[B]

No, I definitely heard that at some point and then forgot it.

[C]

I did not.

[A]

But CNCs are cool because CNCs allow you to. If it's a higher end, CNC allow you to mill metal parts. And so metal parts and metal manufacturing and working with metal is a. I don't know why I keep hitting my desk for this.

[C]

You're making the Winter Soldier.

[A]

Yes. Yes, I am. Thank you for recognizing. Why am I so orange? Hold on.

[C]

I remember whenever he had his arm handed to him.

[B]

Yeah, arm. I remember arm.

[A]

Metal fabrication is a threshold of production that is hard to meet. It's easy to get tools. Not easy, but it's. It's accessible to get tools that can fabricate wood and plastics and, you know, other materials that are softer like that. But once you get into metal you need higher thresholds of both tooling and accuracy. So nowadays they're starting to be more accessible. Entry level CNC machines. It's not a 5 axis machine, but I'm looking at a 3 axis machine. And it would be really cool to have that because then if you, if you ever break anything, like if your bike breaks or your brake handle breaks or any part of your car breaks and you have a big enough CNC for it, you can literally make that part again.

[C]

What would the 5 axis do that the 3 can't? Obviously it has more axes.

[B]

The head rotates.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tilts and things. So you can imagine it has, can cut a very fine point, but that takes forever. But if you're trying to make something that's like a compound curve or if you're trying to mill out under a ledge or something, there are physical limits on. You have one stick that st straight down and moves around like this. So you can't, you can't make every shape you might need to make to make like a complex three dimensional thing. But you could have multiple setups or you could mill parts that you then fasten together somehow or weld or whatever. But like a five axis literally means you can make just about anything, which is very cool.

[C]

What about a 10 axis?

[A]

10 axis probably. I think there actually is a 9 axis machine. I don't know what the hell that does.

[B]

The other axes are space and time goes forward at normal speed.

[A]

It'll predict what you wanted to make and then go back in time. Make it for you and you'll be like, wow, thank you machine.

[C]

I think just turned my engagement ring to coal.

[A]

Anyway, so three axis machine starting to get more accessible. It really opens up the door especially for like prop manufacturing. Because if you're making props and you're limited to a lot of like wood based things, there, there are limits to what that can do. And the materials with it is you can electroplate some things but you know, having actual metal parts and, and if you're building up an office and you want to like hang things, metal brackets, you don't need to buy them. All kinds of things you can make with metal that are incredibly useful.

[B]

I make me cool camera accessories that go on like rails and lenses and things.

[A]

Oh, actually you're so right. I didn't even think of that.

[B]

I bet you could make all kinds of shit for cameras.

[A]

Absolutely. Because there's so many mounting things for cameras that I didn't even. I haven't even thought of that because all of my different cameras have different cages that you can put around them and you have to buy those and they're like hundreds of dollars and you slap them your cage and you Bird.

[C]

Cages, batting cages, mouse cages.

[A]

Exactly, yeah.

[B]

Nicholas cages, yeah.

[A]

Anyway, it can thread it all, so I haven't gotten it yet, but probably going to order one soon. That'd be very cool. Jason's going to do all that and because I don't know how to use that, I didn't graduate engineering school and I don't think my degree would have even had me near one of those machines.

[D]

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[B]

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[A]

Anyway, you ready for the game?

[B]

Honestly, I'd talk about CNC for the whole rest of the episode, but yeah, we could do your idea or whatever.

[A]

That's fine. I'll talk about it once I actually get it and then I'll have a ton to talk about. But until then, editors, hit the lights. Spotlight. Oh, of course there's gonna be a spot.

[C]

I remember the spotlight sound now.

[A]

I don't remember the rest of it, but welcome to who Wants to be a Millionaire?

[C]

Oh, that was the sound effect of the Now I'm with you.

[B]

Is that not what you thought of? I. That's immediately what. I didn't know that was serious.

[C]

I didn't think of anything with that.

[A]

That's okay. You better fill it up full of stuff because these are going to be some real whoppers of questions I have in front of me. Every million dollar question that has ever been played on the show. And the only way that you can get points the rest of this entire episode is by getting these questions right.

[C]

Challenge accepted.

[A]

I will afford you one lifeline that you can use twice because we don't have an audience to pull and we don't have the. Oh, I guess I could eliminate two choices. Okay, maybe that is it. I'll give you an elimination of choice. I'll give you a phone a friend and you have to actually phone a friend.

[B]

Well, I just don't want to do that. I don't. That's not worth it.

[A]

And I will. I'll let you use the phone a friend more than once. How about that? Ok. Ok. You get two phone a friends. One knock half off. Something like that.

[B]

Is that fair?

[A]

Or do you want two and two? Is that more fair? What's more fair?

[B]

No, you get three in the actual thing. Right. So assuming we made. We did great. We made all the way to the million dollar question with all of our lifelines intact. That's Best case scenario, I feel like we should get three things.

[C]

Two, two, five thousand and fifties. One, phone a friend.

[A]

No, you get. You get a 50 50. You get a phone call and you get a flex spot. You can either do another 50, 50 or another phone a friend. So you get one of the. Remove 50, 50. One phone a friend, and then the other one. You can make whatever it is.

[B]

Are you saying it's a flex lifeline?

[A]

Yes, it is.

[B]

That's a lot of lifelines. Sorry. Been watching a lot of flex steel stuff lately. I can't. Oh, Phil Spencer's in my head. He can't get him out.

[A]

All right, so I'm going to flip a coin because we actually got official coins here.

[B]

Official whatever coins we bought on the Internet. Yes, yes. Mine's different.

[A]

This is for, you know, future fairness. But who wants to be heads?

[B]

I mean, I think Wade is the head. Wait, is it bald or does it have hair?

[A]

It's got hair and a chiseled jaw.

[B]

Okay, I have hair. I'm hair. Side weight is whatever's on the other side.

[C]

Yep. Gotta be Bob.

[A]

All right, can I just. Is this how it is on the half dollar? Like with Kennedy having this deep of a. You see that cheek?

[B]

Oh, my God. No, he's. He's been mewing out of his mind for that one.

[C]

Yeah. George has a normal cheek.

[B]

Yeah. Look at that punch. That's a normal guy pudge right there. He's got a. The. The chin of a statesman.

[A]

No, this. Chiseled. Unbelievably. I don't. I don't know if that's how it is on the actual.

[B]

I don't think it is. I actually have somewhere in my life. I think it's in my nightstand. I have a half dollar that I got when I was born that I've kept with me. Well, a real one. It's made of silver.

[C]

You're born in a sports arena. You came out, the doctor slapped you in the butt, handed you a coin, and, like, next.

[B]

Yes. How did you know?

[A]

I'm going to flip the coin. It's going to land flat in my palm, and I'm going to show that to camera. Okay, I believe you. Tails. I think tails. Bob goes first. Okay.

[C]

Heads, he wins. Tails, I lose. I got it. I didn't know we were playing my schoolyard rules.

[B]

To be fair, we did flip flop, but the last thing we said was, oh, the headspine has hair. That's Bob. Wade doesn't have hair.

[A]

Oh, wait. No, sorry.

[B]

Tails.

[C]

It's okay. Heads.

[B]

See?

[C]

Win. Tails, I lose. Who is it?

[A]

That should be.

[B]

That should be the ethos of this entire era. We did the whole thing with the Constitution, and we got the coin. And then Mark is like, all right, heads is Bob, tails is Wade. Tails, Bob wins. It's there. The coin. It's fair.

[A]

Could have sworn I said Wade was heads. I don't know. I thought that's what you guys. So who is. Who is it? Wade?

[B]

Wait, it's technically Wade. I think if.

[C]

All right, I don't care.

[A]

Anyone want to say the word? Anyone want to say it?

[B]

That was the fairest thing that's ever happened. I love that.

[A]

All right, Wade, you're going first.

[C]

Great.

[A]

All right, here's your question. This is actually in order of how they appeared in the show's history. So if you have watched the show a bunch and you memorized every question that they ever asked, you would have a lot of good chance to get this right.

[B]

I probably saw almost all of these live on TV. I don't remember a single one. I don't think.

[A]

Wade. For $1 million, on February 22, 1989, what group won the first Grammy Award for Best Hard Rock Metal Performance? Is it A, Metallica, B, acdc. C, Living Color. D, Jethro Tull?

[C]

I'm not the biggest music guy in the world, so I think I'd like to use my phone. A friend already.

[A]

All right. Okay. Wow. Right off the gate. Okay. Who you calling?

[C]

Gotta think about who's awake this time of day.

[B]

What? It's the middle of the day. Well, who's. What are you calling? Someone in Australia?

[C]

Lot of people that are sleeping this time of day.

[A]

It's one in the afternoon where you are.

[C]

I'm gonna call my buddy. My buddy Mark.

[A]

Hello? Hey, man, wait.

[B]

Put it on speaker. Put it on speaker. I don't believe you.

[C]

Hey, I'm on. I'm on who Wants to Be a Millionaire right now. And I got a question.

[A]

Yeah?

[C]

In 1989, something something music Award. A, Metallica.

[A]

B, A, C, D, C. Uh huh.

[C]

C, Jethro.

[B]

No.

[C]

Who is C?

[A]

Bob?

[B]

Living Color.

[C]

Living Color. D, Jethro.

[B]

Jethro Tull.

[C]

Jethro Tull, huh?

[A]

What about him?

[C]

Which one?

[A]

Which one?

[C]

What was the million dollar question answer? February 17th, 1989.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

February 29th. No, February 30th.

[B]

The wrong way.

[C]

February 28th.

[A]

Oh, you talking about the Grammys of 89?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Grammy. Oh, I didn't watch that one. I wasn't born yet.

[C]

Me either.

[A]

So what's the question?

[C]

Who won?

[B]

No.

[C]

Well, who was there?

[A]

Who was there?

[C]

Who was nominated? Hey, Bob. What was the question?

[A]

Is there an all of the above?

[B]

On February 22, 1989, who won the first ever Grammy Award for hard rock or and metal album?

[C]

Yeah, that.

[A]

Okay. All right. Well, I think I know this one. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go with Jethro Tull.

[C]

That's d. Sure. Thanks. Hugs and kisses. Call you later.

[A]

All right.

[C]

All right. My buddy Mark says Jethro Tull. He sounded pretty confident, so I'm gonna lock it in.

[A]

All right. It's locked in, man.

[B]

That's correct.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

You got that with Jethro Tull. Who the hell is Jethro Tull?

[B]

You don't know who Jethro Tull is?

[A]

I don't know who Jethro Tull.

[C]

No idea.

[A]

Jethro. Tall.

[B]

Hey. Aqualung. That's right. Anchorman.

[A]

Well, I know that reference, but I still don't know what the original is.

[C]

He has a demon mask and a flute and a head rappy.

[B]

If you want an absolute sleeper butt banger, you should listen to Jethro Tull's Christmas album. It is weird, but it's very good.

[A]

Well, like most of these musicians that I don't know, I probably heard their music before, so I'm pretty sure it's somewhere there. Okay. But congratulations, Wade, you got a point.

[C]

Thank you. Wasn't it clever calling the guy, asking the questions?

[B]

I know who I'm calling.

[C]

I'm sorry. Each. Each person can only be called once, right?

[A]

Okay, I'll allow each of you to call one person once. But you got. You got in on a technicality. All right, here we go, Bob. For $1 million. And also one for $1 million.

[B]

Wait, am I. Am I dramatic, or.

[A]

Yeah, we're all dramatic. For $1 million. Editors.

[C]

You can zoom me. I'm too lazy.

[A]

Well, you gotta make a face when you. Yeah, there you go. Which of these US Presidents appeared on the television series Laugh In? Is it A, Lyndon Johnson, B, Richard Nixon, C, Jimmy Carter, D, Gerald Ford.

[B]

Wow. I know generally that laughing existed. And I actually know all four of those presidents names.

[A]

Uh huh. Good, good.

[B]

I don't think the 5050 is gonna help me very much. The main thing I don't know is when exactly laughing aired. It could be any time Post World War II, basically. As far as I know, I think I might know someone who might actually know the answer to this.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Who's not? Mark, who's looking at the answer to this, but I don't know if he's gonna answer the phone. I call him.

[A]

That's okay. If they don't answer it won't use up your. Your call.

[B]

All right, I'm gonna see if I can get him on the phone. I'm gonna call my dad. Can you hear that? Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was. That wasn't enough rings. He sent me the voicemail.

[A]

Oh, no. Well, that tragedy aside.

[B]

Oh, wait. My mom's calling back. Maybe his phone just didn't work.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hey, I'm recording an episode of Distractable, and it's kind of like who Wants to Be a Millionaire? So I'm phoning a friend because I think dad might know this one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He's right here.

[A]

He's driving.

[B]

Okay. You know, you could drive. It's a pro. It's an easy one. Which of these US Presidents appeared on the television. Television series Laugh In?

[A]

Lyndon Johnson.

[B]

Oh, all right. Well, I thought you might know that.

[A]

Get to me, he said.

[B]

Okay. I'm feeling pretty confident about that.

[A]

All right, thanks.

[B]

You just won me not a million dollars, but, you know, like a point or something. Is it a million points, Mark?

[A]

No. $1 million and one point.

[B]

One point. Oh. And a million. All right. Anyway, thank you. Drive safe. Bye. Love you.

[A]

So your father was pretty confident about Richard Nixon.

[B]

He seemed to know that it was all Tricky Dick. What was that? B, Richard Nixon.

[A]

Is that your final answer?

[B]

Lock it in. Richard Nixon.

[A]

Locking it in.

[B]

Well.

[A]

That'S correct. Wow, he knew that off the bat. That was pretty good.

[C]

Laugh in, aired from 1968 through 1973.

[B]

Oh, well, he probably watched that live on TV then.

[C]

I believe that there was a down to Lyndon Johnson at Richard Nixon in that time frame.

[B]

Well, couldn't Carter have been in there?

[C]

When did he start his term?

[B]

Also, it didn't say that they were president when they were on laughing. I have no idea why else Jimmy Carter would be on laughing, but, like, they could. Could have been a guest on the show as, like, a senator or something? I don't know.

[C]

I just assume they said the President they met during his presidency.

[A]

Enough chatter. Wade, your question for $1,000,000 and or 1 point. In what language was Anne Frank's original diary first published? Was it A, Dutch, B, English, C, French, D, German?

[C]

This isn't what it was written in. This is what it was published in, correct? I am going to guess. My gut told me to go with Dutch, which was weird because my brain Tells me otherwise, but. But I'm gonna trust my gut and say Dutch and lock it in.

[A]

That's your final answer? I can't get to say it.

[C]

That's my final answer.

[A]

That's correct. That's correct. Apparently, it was first published in Dutch. Who knew?

[B]

Why did I know that, too? I. My first instinct was Dutch. Really aggressively. I have no idea why I knew that.

[C]

Even before Mark gave me the options, I was like, probably Dutch. And I was like, like, why would it be Dutch?

[A]

I don't know. It was Dutch.

[C]

What a weird instinct that we had.

[B]

This feels like a thing Dutch people would be interested in, I guess.

[A]

For the record, on who Wants to Be a Millionaire, when this was asked, he did not get it correct. So both of you guessed better than he did.

[B]

What an idiot.

[A]

And he also used his phone, a friend for this question, and his friend led him astray.

[C]

See, I would have gone with French if I'd overthought it.

[B]

Yeah, I could see that.

[C]

But Dutch was what my gut went with. And I was like, you know, whatever. I'll take my chance.

[B]

Do you guys know who Wants to Be a Millionaire lore? Do you know any lore about the show?

[A]

No, not much, actually.

[B]

There was a guy who won a million dollars, and he got to the million dollar question, and the guy was like, I want to use my phone. A friend. And I forget who he called, but he called, like, his wife or his dad or something, and they answered, and he was like, hey, I'm about to win a million dollars. See ya. And then answered the question because he knew the. It was like the most epic. It was a great moment. It was very awesome.

[C]

I did see. I have seen that moment.

[A]

That one was actually the question that you just answered, Bob. Was the laugh in.

[B]

Oh, I should have done that.

[A]

No, he called his dad. You called your dad. It's like you're the same person.

[B]

So where's my million dollars? Well, I'm going to call Regis.

[A]

I have a question for you, Bob. For $1 million and. Or maybe one point, in what country are all U.S. major League Baseballs currently manufactured? Is it A, Costa Rica, B, Haiti, C, the Dominican Republic, or D, Cuba?

[B]

I'm pretty sure it's not Cuba.

[C]

Could be Haiti.

[A]

They eat.

[C]

They eat our pets, not our balls.

[B]

I. My. I had another.

[A]

God damn.

[B]

I had another gut reaction on this one that it was going to be Dominican Republic before you said that that was one of the options. I don't have any rational reason why I would know. And I don't think the 5050 is going to help me. So I'm just going to say Dominican Republic. What was that? C. Dominican Republic. That's my answer.

[A]

Final answer.

[B]

That's my final answer. Regis. Meredith. Are you Meredith Vieira? Which one are you?

[A]

Which one am I? That's another question. It's Mr. Jenkins that is incorrect.

[B]

Ah, son of a. Sorry. Costa Rica, then.

[A]

It is in fact Costa Rica, and we're not doing any steals, so I can tell you that. Yes, it is Costa Rica. And in fact, when this question was asked, they did use the 5050 and it eliminated the Dominican Republic and Cuba from the options.

[B]

Well, Cuba, sure. That seems pretty unlikely.

[C]

Those are the two I would have been between with Costa Rica and Dominican Republic. I don't know which way I would have gone. And mine would have also been a guess, I would have thought, not Cuba.

[B]

Why did I think it was Dominican Republic then?

[A]

Why we are moving up into the trajectory of difficulty? Because those were the original questions. And actually they got more difficult as time went on because they had to be more and more obscure because too many people were winning a million dollars. So they made them even more difficult than ever before. They're going to be worth two points.

[B]

Ooh, shit.

[C]

Should have hit my phone. A fringe.

[A]

Oh, also, they started putting time limits in. When did they. What year did they start putting time limits?

[B]

That was later on, if I remember, but I don't know exactly when it was.

[A]

It looks like in 2009 is when they started putting time limits in.

[B]

That's like, well into Meredith Vieira's tenure, isn't it?

[C]

It was a nine. I think so.

[A]

I have no idea.

[C]

Honestly, 2009 seems so recent, but I looked at the year. It's not close.

[A]

Wade, I'm gonna give you the first timed question that was ever asked for a million dollars. And also, there's a lot less million dollar questions being asked at this point because even the previous questions were made more difficult. For $1 million for ordering his favorite beverages on demand, Lyndon. Four buttons installed in the Oval Office labeled Coffee, tea, Coke, and what is it? A Fresca, B, V8, C, Yoo Hoo.

[C]

D, A and W. I'll use my 50 50.

[A]

You're using your 50 50. We're striking B and D. So V8 and A and W were not the right answers. Your options are A Fresca and C Yoo Hoo.

[C]

I'm gonna go with a Fresca.

[A]

Final answer.

[C]

Lock it in.

[B]

I don't think that's right.

[A]

That is.

[B]

Absolutely correct. I don't even know what a Fresca is.

[C]

Oh, you don't?

[A]

Yeah. What's Fresca?

[B]

Fresca still exists. It's grapefruit soda. It's sugar free grapefruit soda. It's very good.

[A]

Really? That sounds great. Why have I never heard of it?

[B]

If you drink a lot of it, it'll give you diarrh because grapefruit does that.

[A]

Oh, I do know what that. Okay, I see. Yeah.

[B]

Don't you want to want a fresco?

[A]

I don't know that one. But I have seen this can before.

[C]

I think my dad used to stock up fresco. My dad's cop a lot today, some reason. But yeah, I feel like he used to stock up fresco and I used to drink that with him. Well, there you have it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There's also called Fruitopia that I don't think exists anymore that we used to get.

[B]

Oh, dude, Fruitopia was the shit. Oh my God. That was middle school.

[C]

It was like weird. It was the FR drinks Fresca and Fruitopia.

[A]

All right, Bob, your question. What great thinker's death is attributed to a chill he caught while stuffing a chicken with snow for an experiment on refrigeration. Was it A, Pythagoras, B, Archimedes, C, Isaac Newton or D, Francis Bacon?

[B]

God, I hope it's Francis Bacon chicken.

[C]

A bacon stuffed chicken does sound good.

[A]

Bacon wrapped chicken that would have prevented his sickness.

[B]

Gotta chill. So also studying refrigeration isn't even a notion that Pythagoras would have had, I don't think. And, or the other ones. Isaac Newton and Archimedes.

[A]

A, Pythagoras, B Archimedes, C, Isaac Newton and D, Francis Bacon.

[B]

I don't think Archimedes would have been any notions about refrigeration either, but I don't think Isaac Newton would have. I have no concept of when refrigeration became.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's tough.

[B]

I'd like to use my 50 50.

[A]

I'm knocking two options off the board. Pythagoras is not the right answer and Isaac Newton is not the right answer. Your options are B, Archimedes or D. Francis Bacon.

[B]

It's gotta be D. Francis Bacon.

[A]

Is that your final.

[B]

That's my final answer. That is correct.

[A]

It's absolutely correct. I, I actually don't. The name is familiar. But who is Francis Bacon? I don't know.

[C]

I was thinking the same thing. I was like, what did he do?

[B]

It's Sir Francis Bacon.

[A]

Oh my goodness. Oh. 1561 he was born in 1561. 16.

[B]

First Viscount St. Albin OB and the first Baron Verulam.

[A]

Obviously, he was born before Isaac Newton.

[C]

He pioneered the scientific method.

[B]

Well, I'm stupid. He was born before Isaac Newton.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I don't know why I thought Francis Bacon was more contemporary.

[A]

So I guess it's like the concept of refrigeration here is just keeping food cold to make it longer, last longer. It couldn't have been anything to do with handling raw chicken and stuff and snow inside of it.

[B]

So, no, it's fine. That's. That's not what makes people sick. It's a. He caught a chill.

[A]

And to remind everyone, these are now worth two points. So the fresco question was worth two. That's worth two. Wade, are you ready?

[C]

Yeah, sorry, I was reading about Francis Bacon. Go for it.

[A]

For a million dollars And. Or. Two points, which first lady was a ninth generation descendant of Pocahontas? Was it A, Helen Taft, B, Edith Wilson, C, Bess Truman, D, Mamie Eisenhower.

[C]

Can you list them one more time? The answers.

[A]

First lady, ninth generation descendant of Pocahontas. A, Helen Taft, B, Edith Wilson, C, Bess Truman, D, Mamie Eisenhower.

[C]

Oh, man, I'm going to. I know this one. I know this one. The answer is, A, Ellen Taft.

[A]

Is that your final answer?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Lock it in.

[A]

That is incorrect, you stupid idiot. It's obviously Edith Wilson.

[C]

That was actually my second choice because I was like, they're kind of close together in time period. If I'm doing the math right. That's about.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's. That is a way to do it, I guess. Like, yeah, just calculating how many generations would be from Pocons, but I wouldn't know which what era that is.

[B]

Yeah, but you see, for that, you need to know when Pocahontas.

[A]

That's true. And I do not know that.

[C]

Well, to get there, all you need to know is John Smith. And then you're like, okay, so it's around 17 something. What, 16. 17 something. Yeah.

[B]

Is that true?

[C]

I don't know. No idea. I just assumed that Taft and Wilson were sort of close there in time. Eisenhower was way too late, didn't listen to the other option. So I was like, okay, it's gonna be Wilson or Taff.

[B]

Nine generations is a lot. I was thinking Eisenhower.

[A]

Nine.

[B]

Nine generations. It's a lot of people.

[C]

I was thinking, everyone had a kid between 15 and 20.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Or whatever.

[C]

My brain was like, all right, every 15 to 20 years. Generation.

[B]

I don't know. If that's accurate.

[C]

But I literally went 1760 plus 140. That's right around 1900. Gotta be.

[A]

Well, sadly, maybe you'll. Your math will pay off next time.

[C]

What year. What year was. What was her name? Something? Wilson. First Lady Edith, born 1872. My 1900 was close. I was thinking. I should have thought birth. I would have got Wilson anyway.

[A]

Go ahead, Bob. For one million and maybe two points, who delivered the less famous two hour long speech that preceded Abraham Lincoln's two minute Gettysburg Address?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Lost to the annals of history was either A, A, Wendell Phillips, B, Daniel Webster, C, Robert G. Ingersoll, or D, Edward Everett.

[B]

I know all four of those guys, so this is a tough choice.

[C]

Phone one of them.

[B]

Like to phone my friend Jim. Eeny who? Jim. I call him Jim. Here, I'll get my phone out and talk to them. I mean, phone call. I'm gonna do a phone call. Hi, Jim. I was just. I'm playing who wants to be a Millionaire and I just need your help. Do you think you can help me answer a question?

[A]

All right, sounds fun. Let's see if I can help you win it all.

[B]

She's on board. What's the question? Yeah, hey, Mark, what's the question? Read me the question.

[A]

All right, so the question is, who delivered the less fam.

[B]

Two hours, the less famous two hour speech that preceded Abraham Lincoln's two minute Gettysburg Address? The answer is Edward Everett.

[A]

He was a famous politician.

[B]

Okay, that's enough. Thanks. That's a lot of information. Okay, I'm gonna call you later.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Oh, man. Good friend.

[A]

Oh, wow. What a friend. I didn't even list the other option. They just knew it. Just like your dad.

[B]

They just dislike my. I just know. Smart. Smart people, huh?

[A]

Yeah, you're right.

[B]

That was a person. And they are smart.

[A]

You don't have to follow their advice though. They may not know what they're talking about.

[B]

What? What did they say? No, I said read me the answers again. I remember. I remember.

[A]

Hey. Wendell Phillips. B, Daniel Webster. C, Robert G. Ingersoll and D, Edward Everett.

[B]

Oh, that's the one. Everett O. Lee. E. That's A. Yeah, no, I think Jem. Jem probably knows. I'm gonna say D. Yeah. Final answer. Lock it in.

[C]

Gem.

[A]

E. I didn't get that. All right, there's final answer.

[B]

Huh? That's great. That's absolute.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Wow, that's great.

[C]

Some might say that that is not fair.

[B]

Who? Who might say might? Might you say that a different way?

[C]

A lesser man than me.

[B]

About that.

[C]

What do you think, Bob?

[B]

Do you think that felt incredibly fair? You. You called the man asking the questions. I called an unrelated being who just happened to know the answer.

[C]

I phoned a friend who I knew would be awake at this time.

[B]

Jem is a great friend and we chat all the time.

[C]

All right, fair enough.

[A]

Fair. All right. Fair. It's fair.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's fruit snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequen of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.

[A]

Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.

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Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.

[A]

Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

[C]

It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions, please use responsibly.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Wade, let me give you a good one because we're running out of time here, so we're just going to probably do this question and the next one and we'll close it out. Wade, for $1,000,000 and or 2 points. Nephilika Xyya.

[C]

All right, man.

[B]

Is this a non English version of who Wants to be a Millionaire? What's happening?

[C]

Nephilikoxia.

[A]

Nephilococcygia is the practice of doing what? A A finding shapes in clouds, B sleeping with your eyes open, C breaking glass with your voice or D swimming in freezing water. Nephilikoxygia.

[B]

Have you heard of the ship of nephilochoxy?

[C]

I remember whenever they would give these questions and they didn't pronounce them right half the time. Time. I do have one lifeline left, right?

[A]

You do? It's a flex one and I can.

[C]

Either pick call or. 50. 50. Yeah, for the sake of time, I'll go 50. 50.

[A]

Okay. I'm eliminating B, sleeping with your eyes open, and D, swimming in freezing water. So you're left with A, finding shapes in clouds, or C, breaking glass with your voice. And once again, it's nephilococcygia.

[C]

Well, it has Cox in it, which is like your coccyx. Which leads me to see Nephila coccia is breaking glass with your voice.

[B]

What do you think your coccyx is? Just curious.

[A]

Yeah, I'm kind of curious about that.

[C]

I don't know. I just wanted to sound smart.

[A]

All right. Is that your final answer? Yeah.

[B]

That is absolutely.

[A]

In correct, you fool.

[C]

Well, you don't stare at the cloud with your tailbone.

[B]

I don't think you do anything with.

[A]

Your tailbone in any of this.

[B]

You sit on your coccyx and look at the nephilim.

[C]

You sit on your coccyx to.

[B]

No. If you're gonna break a glass with your voice, you better be standing.

[A]

Yeah, you better be. That was incorrect. And maybe if I'd have spelled it for you. I don't know if it would have helped any at all. It was N, E, P, H, L, O, C, O, C, C, Y, G, I, A.

[C]

Wait, Y, G, I, A. Yeah.

[A]

C, Y, G, I, A, C, Y, G, I, A.

[C]

Okay. If you'd spelled it out, I would have gone with clouds.

[A]

Oh, well, sorry, that's just the way this is.

[B]

Oh, I want you to do it.

[C]

You want me to do it? I'll do it.

[B]

I just. Itching to flip something. Come on.

[A]

All right, fine. Okay. Let me get. Bob, let me get you a good one.

[C]

If I failed both 50 50s I have, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, I think I haven't actually used my 5050 yet. Right.

[A]

You know what?

[C]

I need three 50 50s to balance it out.

[A]

All right, Bob. Compiled by Benjamin Franklin. In 1737, the Drinker's Dictionary included all but which of these synonyms for drunkenness? A, nymph, topsicle, B, buzz, A, C, pithlicated, D, staggerish and reminder. It's all but one of these.

[B]

I'm picking the one that's not in there.

[A]

Not in there. In the drinker's diary of 1737.

[B]

And I still have a 5050 to use for. Right.

[A]

Didn't you use your flex on the.

[B]

I talked about it, but I used two phone friends. But I didn't actually.5050 because I didn't think I needed it.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I don't think he's 5050 yet. I think he used two phone of friends.

[B]

I talked about it on the baseball one, but I didn't use it on the baseball one. I got that one wrong.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're. Yeah, you're open if I'm going by my slashes. Because I was slashing when it was there, so I don't have a slasher.

[B]

I definitely going to use that. 50. 50, since I get. Got it.

[A]

So of the words that are not included in this dictionary, what was not included was buzzay and staggerish. So you're left with the options between nymph, topsical and piflicated.

[B]

Those were the two I was thinking of.

[A]

Good, good, good.

[B]

Ben Franklin. I'm Ben Franklin. I am Ben Franklin. Writing my book, putting it in the.

[C]

Printing press, sitting on his coccyx while he does it.

[B]

It's. It's gonna be. It's gotta be a. Because of Ben Franklin reasons.

[A]

So nymph. Topsical.

[B]

Nymph. Topsical. Nymph is a bad word.

[A]

It's not nymph. It's nymph.

[B]

Nymph. It's a bad word anyway.

[A]

All right, final answer.

[B]

Answer, Ben. Is it the final answer? Yes. Ben says it's the final answer. Lock it in.

[A]

I heard that.

[B]

That's how he talked. Look it up. There's wax cylinders. Look it up.

[C]

I was just.

[A]

Remember back when I was talking about the Ben Franklin show? Now it pissed me off because Michael Douglas just didn't like him. That would have been a way better Ben Franklin. You. You doing Ben Franklin? Honestly, man. Anyway, that is incorrect. Nim topsicle was in the drinker's diary. But pifflicated was not.

[B]

But piflicated is so much more obvious what that is than nymph, toxical.

[A]

I have no idea. Piflicated. What is that? A separate word that means something.

[C]

I think this question's unfair.

[B]

What?

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Are you claiming unfairness on my behalf?

[A]

Yes. I guess we don't have a rule that says can't happen. But does that mean that the punishment.

[B]

Wait, so what are the results of this then?

[A]

Yeah, wait.

[C]

Three somethings, you get two points. I don't know. Three something's Mark gets it, and if.

[A]

It'S three the other, he loses two points. That's an interesting way to play the unfair rule to potentially screw over your opponent.

[B]

Oh, my God. What in the hell did we just.

[A]

I don't know, man. Okay. All right. Okay, so head. If it's three heads Bob will get the points.

[C]

It was worth two. Does that mean it's worth four?

[B]

If it's three heads, it will be made doubly fair, which should mean that I get four points. If it's three tails, if it will be made doubly unfair, which means I should lose four points.

[A]

Yeah, but what does neutral mean?

[B]

Wait, okay, so if the fairness is like those, nothing happens, Right?

[A]

It's. It's to say if something is fair. And in this case, what would be fair? It was him getting the wrong answer. That is fair. Therefore, if it goes too unfair by being all heads, it will reverse that decision and make it fair from its unfair state. Therefore, flipping it there, he won't get double, he will get two points. But if it goes extra unfair, he will be punished for it. And he will not only not have points, but he'll lose it two points. Okay, so if it's all heads, he gets two points. If it's anything but all heads or all tails, it's fair. Declared fair. Okay, I think. Right.

[B]

I just also want to put this out there. My coin, the tails is the lion. And the heads is this one of a lady standing there not looking. So we're doing. We're flipping the way Mark flipped. Flip, catch and then show.

[A]

Yeah. No flipping it over on your wrist. Just show it right then there. All right, here we go.

[B]

I got heads.

[A]

I got heads.

[C]

Heads.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Unfairness has been confirmed.

[A]

Bob, you get two points.

[C]

That's right. I did it. I did exactly what I set out to do, Bob. I've got your back. You should have phoned me. You should have phoned me. I've had your best interest in mind all episode.

[A]

That's a ride or die right there, Bob. You know, that's worth more than its weight in gold. Do you get two points? I guess. All right.

[C]

I want you to know I started to flip it on the back of my hand. I remember you said no. It's like.

[A]

Oh, all right. Well, congratulations everybody who participated in this. That was well fought. You both won millions upon millions of dollars. But only one of you can be the winner of the episode.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[A]

Right. The wheels.

[C]

You have to add something to it.

[B]

I've got the wheel with everything on it that you need to add one to. But you have to figure out the three sided die situation.

[A]

In honor of Wade, I'll put it who. The person who bent the most rules without breaking them.

[C]

I don't know who that goes to.

[B]

That's definitely you. In this One.

[A]

But it'll be in the wheel forever from now on.

[B]

All right, that's in there. Bent the most rules without breaking them.

[A]

All right. And then I got to roll three.

[B]

Sided die to see how many wheel spins we're doing. Yeah.

[A]

Roll three sided die. Do I need to show you or is it honor system?

[B]

I. I think we just do honor system.

[A]

One to three. Here we go. And go two. We're rolling it two times. That wheel. Can you show your screen for it? Even though I know it messes up, but I want to see this wheel.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's a big ass. God, next year it's gonna be so.

[B]

Big, it's gonna be unreadable. We're just gonna have to see what happens. All right, ready? Two spins. Ready? Watcha.

[A]

Most locked in. I mean, you locked in all your answers.

[B]

That's true. Who got more of them correct? Are they the most locked in?

[A]

Might be.

[B]

I feel like we were both pretty on it today, actually. Like, sometimes Wade totally spaces out and it's like you were. You probably should have won right until the end there.

[A]

If we're going by just pure questions, Wade has it. But does the unfairness ruling put it back in because it would tie it technically.

[B]

Does that mean that I got that question correct in the world as is rewritten, written.

[A]

That's what I'm. Because how far do our powers reach? Do they reverse reality?

[B]

We rewrite reality as it exists.

[C]

Just for notwithstanding this episode in general, I don't feel like going to one of our council rules takes away or adds to locked in this.

[A]

That's true. I think if I had to go. Wade was also quick to answer. I will say that he was very quick to answer. Even if they sometimes were very wrong. He did snap those decisions. I think Wade would get the locked in point.

[B]

That feels okay to me. That feels. That feels right.

[C]

I don't have a strong feeling, but I won't argue about me winning this.

[A]

He's locked.

[C]

Seems fair.

[B]

He's locked in. All right, one more spin. No, I like both of those.

[A]

Ben the most rules with without breaking them. All right, baby.

[C]

I made up for the coin flip. I'm back.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, that is not good for me.

[A]

All right. This is going to be a close game. I have no idea where the points are going to land.

[C]

Oh, please let this be a time.

[A]

All right. No, no, no, no. Oh, no.

[C]

There's no way.

[B]

There's no worse.

[A]

No.

[C]

One man show.

[A]

All right, so we've got Bob, you got a point. For new tools. You got a point for destroying Tyler's knee forever.

[B]

Got him.

[A]

You got a point for Richard Nixon. Two points for Francis Bacon, two points for Edward Everett. And then you got a bonus 2 points for unfairness. Wade, you got a point for Robertson A. You got a point for Gotta work, Gotta make that money. Make Purse. It's a reference to an Ateez K pop song that Amy plays a lot that I like.

[C]

I was thinking that when I said it.

[A]

Good. All right, you got a point for Rip off. You got a point for Jethro Tull. You got a point for Dutch. Fuck. You got two points for Fresca. You got a point for Locked in. You got a point for Bent rules without breaking.

[C]

What's that bring our tunnels to, Buddy.

[A]

If you calculate those points up, you got nine for Pop and nine.

[C]

That's how that landed another wheel spin.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

Is this our first 6 percenter or is this an 8 percenter?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay, so it's reset down to six, right?

[A]

Yeah, we technically spun it at my one man show. Did that add to it?

[B]

No, because that was like an isolated thing.

[C]

Yeah, I think that was default. I think we're at six.

[A]

Okay. All right. Okay. We'll start at six. And from here on out.

[C]

This could not have ended in a more amazing way.

[A]

Oh, man. Well, let's. We'll see if all of your. Your schemes, both for you and against you, Wade, gives you luck in this.

[C]

I'm just happy to be a part of such a great episode.

[B]

So it's six and then 4747, right?

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

We got 47, Wade. 47, Bob, six for one man show. I swear to God, there is no possible way that we got three heads in this episode. It ended up being a tie. And then Mark will hit on a 6%. There's no way.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I dare God. All right, I'll spin the thing.

[C]

Mark, you're due for a win, buddy. I feel yellow.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh. And Wade's schemes somehow got him the win.

[C]

Don't call it a comeback.

[A]

That is astonishing. Even after giving Bob two points for unfairness. You won. The wheel spins to get you back. A chance at the winner's seat with the spin and then the wheel. Wheel decided in your favor. Congratulations, Wade. I can't believe it.

[B]

Unfair.

[A]

No. Only one per episode.

[B]

One. One total per episode.

[C]

I honestly thought it was a little bit because I thought double or nothing meant you would have gotten four points.

[B]

But no, the way Mark explained it, I was on board. I was on board. So that means next. Next round is 8%. One man show.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[C]

It would be 8.

[A]

8.

[C]

4, 6. 4, 6.

[B]

Got it, got it, got it, got it.

[A]

I've got it written down here that in this episode, the wheel was 6%. So that we know what the next one will be. Incredibly done. I. I can hardly believe that no one saw it coming. Now, Wade, you're the winner here, but Bob is the loser. So I think Bob has to make his loser speech.

[B]

Whoa. Oh, my clothes. Oh, I got a haircut. What happened? Hey, look, okay, it's. It's a little bit later. I'm not gonna lie. Chat. Chat. I'm not gonna lie. Listeners, but mostly watchers. It's different. It's a different time now. And I don't remember what happened in this episode, but I do know that I lost. I knew a lot of answers to questions. If I recall, my dad was in this episode. You know, I'm the only one on the show that's got that going for me right now.

[C]

Come on, man.

[B]

Listen, it is outrageous that I lost. I think everyone will, because all that stuff I said was really smart and very funny. But I'm gonna lose with dignity and only make one dead dad joke, apparently. Dignity.

[A]

Wade, your winner speech.

[C]

Whenever I did the coin flips for you, Bob, I really didn't know what was going to happen. I just. We'd been teasing it and teasing it, and I just. I needed it to happen for something, so I had to have the coin flips. Didn't know it would result in one of the craziest finishes in Distractable history.

[A]

But you know what?

[C]

You're. Well, so. Well, yes. You're welcome.

[B]

Okay, with that, we're gonna end it.

[A]

Thank you, everybody. You can never see the tour. We're not going on tour again ever. For the you're welcome tour. But I'm happy to announce that Distractable will not also be going on tour. Merch doesn't exist. It's not a real word. Don't say it anymore. We will find you if you do. And we will know if you did. Bob and Wade can be found at their various usernames, their online handles and their Internet Personas. Their only fans is now half off for only the next month. Thank you all so much for joining. Have a lovely day. Follow the podcast. Tell your friends about it. Hold people hostage. Hack your. Your. Your local office's security system so all the security guards have to see it 24 7. By hack, I meant funny prank. It's not. I did wasn't real. That was all not true. Wink no, I don't unwink Unwink Podcast out.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Degree. Degree is for the hustlers who put in the sweat, which we know a thing or two about.

[A]

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[C]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit Snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a roof top talking about the future.

[A]

Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.

[B]

Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.

[A]

Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

[C]

It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions Please use responsibly.