Distractible – "Yeah, He'd Live"

Release Date: February 2, 2026
Hosts: Markiplier (Mark Fischbach), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

Episode Overview

In this episode, the Distractible trio dive into a hilarious, improvisational “medical drama” game, in which Wade and Bob compete as bumbling yet legendary doctors, trying to “save” a fictional patient through a chain of increasingly absurd treatments. The episode balances their trademark chaotic comedy with surprisingly heartfelt moments, creative storytelling, and a friendly spirit of competition.

As always, the group riffs on everyday topics—like the pros and cons of snowblowers or home-cooked sausage gravy—before launching into their main game. Points and ad-libbed rules are at stake, but mostly everyone’s here to enjoy the madness and riff with friends.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Banter and Bits (02:46–08:13)

• Nudity Bit: The hosts open by pretending to podcast naked, riffing off each other's jokes about "shirts" and "skin."

  • Memorable Moment: Wade: “This is my real shirt. Or skin. Fuck.” (03:12)
  • Mark awards points for commitment to the bit.

• Screw Head Discussion: Random deep-dive on screw head types—Philips, Robert, Torx (star screws)—and their comparative effectiveness.

  • Bob: “Phillips screws can die in a fire and I hate them.” (05:30)
  • Mark: “I’ve never had a Phillips screw that hasn’t eventually stripped. It is just awful.” (06:33)
  • Wade jests about “stripping,” leading to running jokes about nudity and “taking your skin off.”

2. Small Talk: Everyday Upgrades (08:51–16:16)

• Snowblower Wisdom:

  • Wade shares the “life-changing” impact of using a snowblower over a shovel, and the perils of blowing snow against the wind.
    • Wade: “Any more than that [an inch], snow blower. Life changing...But wind—snowblower could be bad.” (09:24–11:00)
  • Mark likens snowblower misuse to “Elden Ring” game mechanics, joking about leveling up for household appliances (11:05–11:23).
  • Wade: “Still level one NPC over here.” (11:23)

• Sausage/Bacon Gravy Revelation:

  • Bob excitedly recounts recently learning how easy sausage gravy is to make from scratch.
    • Bob: “It literally couldn’t be easier. And holy shit, when you make it at home, is it delicious.” (12:27)
    • Wade: “It’s probably terrible for you because it’s just grease with flour and milk. But it’s so good.” (13:30)
  • They discuss “gloop”—Wade’s favorite “death row” meal: fried pork chops, bacon grease gravy, biscuits, mashed potatoes, and peas.
    • Wade: “You cut up the pork chops, you tear up the biscuits, you mix all of it together...it is ambrosia.” (15:15–15:35)
    • Bob: “My auntie used to call that gloop.” (15:36)
    • Mark: “Ambrosia, he says.” (15:35)
  • Cholesterol and health myths get a quick, comedic mention (15:54–16:16).

3. Main Game: "Yeah, He’d Live" (16:35–46:34)

Game Rules & Structure (16:35–19:04)

• Mark sets the scene: Bob and Wade are world-class doctors competing to save a catastrophically ill (and increasingly unlucky) patient.
• The patient’s fate is determined by a D20 roll, with incremental bonuses for each new action, and both doctors must repeat prior steps each round—a twist on a familiar Distractible game formula.

Scenario One: Mysterious Patient (19:04–26:41)

• Each doctor, in turn, tries classic and absurd remedies (checking the lungs, leeches, amputating feet, laparoscopic robot micro-surgery).
• Memorable Clinic Commentary:
  • Bob: “Leeches everywhere. Any part of any fleshy bit I can get a leech onto—boom. Leeched.” (21:08)
  • Wade: “Amputate the feet, I get my buzzsaw. Cured.” (22:32)
• Bob eventually “saves” the patient with a combination of old-school leeches and ultra-modern micro-surgery, hilariously justifying how it all fits:
  • “The leeches would create all the cavities for the laparoscopic surgery and that the feet could cause a sudden purge as the machines push in...” (25:29)

Scenario Two: Mountain Rescue (26:42–32:33)

• The newly “saved” patient, now missing feet, is stranded on a mountain ledge. The doctors must rescue him using their standard operating procedure.
• Standard Operating Procedure: Always check the lungs—quickly becomes an episode-wide gag.
• Bob hilariously brings in an X-ray team to assess the situation.
  • “Radiology X-rays, and a guy comes rushing in from the side with a mobile X-ray.” (31:13)
• With a climactic roll (Nat 20), Bob solves the predicament by imagining the patient’s bones could be used as a scaffold.
• The back-and-forth escalation illustrates their improvisational chemistry.

Scenario Three: Drowning Uber Driver (32:34–40:08)

• The unfortunate patient, now the trio’s Uber driver, crashes off the Golden Gate Bridge, and the doctors must save him as the car floods.
• Repeated comedy:
  • Both doctors always start by checking the lungs.
  • Both use increasingly outlandish steps: neurological exams (“Follow my nose...”), and the notorious “prostate check with a bucket of pocket lube.”
    • Wade: “Could be the prostate. I bend him over, grab my bucket of pocket lube...” (37:12)
  • Ultimately, Bob’s “nurse with antibiotics” saves the day, underscoring the luck-driven nature of the game.

Scenario Four: Bank Hostage Crisis (41:01–45:07)

• The patient, now with wooden peg legs, is forced to rob a bank with a bomb strapped to him.
• The doctors try to disarm the bomb—first by audio memo, cutting the red wire, then checking lungs.
• In an absurd twist, Wade “saves” the patient by listening to the lungs and somehow defusing the bomb:
  • "It was the lungs. The bomb was attached to the lungs." (44:09)
• The group celebrates this nonsensical but triumphant “diagnosis.”

4. Points, Winners, and Loser’s Speech (46:34–52:27)

• Mark tallies points for each host based on funniness, commitment, and ingenuity through the episode.
• Final Score:
  • Bob: 8
  • Wade: 7
  • Mark: 0.5
• Bob is declared the winner, delivers a tongue-in-cheek “winner’s letter to Jama” (the Journal of the American Medical Association).
  • “Sometimes the dice are in your favor and, or, you’re just a superior medical doctor.” (52:27)
• Wade’s consistent runner-up status is playfully acknowledged:
  • “I’m in a familiar spot back at the bottom. That’s okay, because I know that Jamma appreciates our hard work. The lungs were good. We did our job.” (51:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bob (On screws): “Phillips screws can die in a fire and I hate them.” (05:30)
• Wade (On snowblowing): “Wind—snowblower could be bad.” (11:00)
• Bob (On gravy): “It couldn’t literally be easier. And holy shit, when you make it at home, is it delicious.” (12:27)
• Wade (Favorite meal): “It is ambrosia. It is the best thing in the world. It’s so good.” (15:15)
• Mark (On cholesterol): “Well, recently they did discover... you should actually have a little bit more of both types. It’s hard to actually quantify.” (15:59)
• Bob (On medical improvisation): “Leeches everywhere. All. Any part of any fleshy bit I can get a leech onto—boom. Leeched.” (21:08)
• Wade (During rescue attempt): “Nurse, suction. She brings over the suction tube... but I know it’ll lift this man up and pull him back up.” (30:12)
• Bob (On radiology save): “Radiology X-rays... can really see what’s going on in there.” (31:13)
• Wade (On prostate exam): “Could be the prostate. I bend him over, grab my bucket of pocket lube, and—” (37:12)
• Mark (On saving the patient): “You jam his lungs, you... disarmed the bomb.” (44:09)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Episode begins / Nude intro bit: 02:46
• Screw heads discussion: 04:33
• Snowblower small talk: 08:51
• Cooking / sausage gravy revelations: 12:18
• “Yeah, He’d Live” game explained: 16:35
• Scenario 1: Medical improv (sick patient): 19:04
• Scenario 2: Mountain rescue: 26:42
• Scenario 3: Drowning Uber driver: 32:34
• Scenario 4: Bank bomb hostage: 41:01
• Final scores and closing banter: 46:34–52:27

Closing Thoughts & Tone

The episode is a showcase of Distractible’s blend of absurdity, quick-witted banter, and infectious camaraderie. The entire “check the lungs” running joke and Mark’s lively adjudication keep the energy high and the laughs constant. Bob’s streak of lucky D20 rolls and Wade’s endless optimism give the episode both structure and a feeling of ever-present, ridiculous stakes.

Listener tip: No actual medical advice is dispensed—just endless creative nonsense. The “hospital” is a playground, and the audience is invited along for every pratfall, culinary detour, and runaway train of thinking.

For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect entry point into Distractible’s world, highlighting their love of comedic roleplay, riffing on mundane topics, and building elaborate in-jokes. Whether you love improv, medical drama parodies, or just dude-friends goofing around, “Yeah, He’d Live” delivers a full, funny experience that’s easy to visualize and hard to forget.