Donkey of the Day: ‘Soon Bang’ Busted By Detective D. Large

Podcast: Donkey of the Day on Power 105.1 FM (WWPR-FM)
Host: Charlamagne Tha God
Date: February 27, 2025

Overview

In this humorous and satirical episode, Charlamagne Tha God delivers the infamous “Donkey of the Day” award to Soon Bang, a 63-year-old woman charged with running a prostitution business out of her New Jersey massage parlor, Oasis Spa. The story quickly becomes a platform for jokes about nominative determinism (having a name that fits your actions), the absurdity of obvious criminal behavior, and comedic banter between Charlamagne, DJ Envy, and Jess Hilarious.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Case of Soon Bang

• Soon Bang, owner of Oasis Spa in Denville, NJ, was arrested and charged with running a prostitution operation from her massage parlor.
• During police interviews, she admitted to having sexual intercourse and providing manual stimulation for money.
• Authorities found large quantities of condoms hidden in mattresses and plants within the spa, numerous explicit online reviews, and cash at her home.
  • “They discovered a large quantity of condoms hidden within a mattress. Because safe sex is great sex, but you better wear a latex.” — Charlamagne [03:32]

2. Names and Destiny

• Charlamagne highlights the comedic coincidence of Soon Bang's name given the nature of her crimes:
  • “With a name like Soon Bang, her career choice was just destiny... If you walk into a massage parlor and the owner is Soon Bang, then you already know they got a hidden menu.” [01:19]
• The detective on the case, Detective D. Large, adds another layer of hilarity for Charlamagne:
  • “I’m not making any of this story up, nor am I mature enough to have this conversation, but here we are.” [02:25]

3. Obviousness of the Crime

• The conversation skewers the amateurish cover-up:
  • Hiding condoms in mattresses and plants, publicizing explicit acts in online reviews, and matching condoms hidden at her residence.
  • “If your Yelp reviews sound like they belong on OnlyFans, trust and believe, you might as well be snitching on yourself.” [04:30]

4. Age and Criminal Activity

• Charlamagne jokes about Soon Bang’s age (63), and that her employee Yu Shun Li is 67:
  • “At what point are you too old for this? You should be sitting around watching Family Feud, playing Scrabble, but you out here living like a crime boss on a 50 Cent Power spinoff, why?” [05:15]

5. The “Guess What Race She Is” Game

• Charlamagne quizzes DJ Envy and Jess Hilarious, asking them to guess Soon Bang’s race based on the facts and her name.
  • DJ Envy: “I’m Asian. Tiger style. Tiger.” [06:08]
  • Jess Hilarious: “Black. Ooh...We can get a little kinky sometimes and do a name change, you know what I mean?” [06:35]
• Charlamagne confirms his guess based on her name and employee’s name:
  • “If her name is Soon Bang and one of her employees is Yu Shun Li, and ‘Li’ is spelled L-I, I’m just going to assume Asian.” [07:14]
• The segment is laced with playful, over-the-top banter.

6. Personal Anecdotes and More Banter

• DJ Envy admits he may have visited the Oasis Spa in the past but denies receiving any illicit services.
  • “Now, I may or may have not been to Oasis Spa before… Me and the wife went and got, you know, massages, but I didn’t get no happy ending or nobody even asked me.” — DJ Envy [08:13]
• Charlamagne and Jess rib DJ Envy, teasing him about his possible guilt and his attire (“dressed like Arsenio Hall in the 90s”).
• DJ Envy gets defensive:
  • “You didn’t have to volunteer that information… I didn’t even ask for… we didn’t ask for, like, what are you talking about?” [09:55]

7. Commentary on Illicit Massage Parlors

• The group riffs on the prevalence of such establishments in the New York area, recalling stories from former colleagues.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On soon Bang's name and destiny:

  • “With a name like Soon Bang, her career choice was just destiny. If you walk into a massage parlor and the owner is Soon Bang, then you already know they got a hidden menu.” — Charlamagne [01:19]

• On Detective D. Large:

  • “I need you to know that the detective on this case was Detective D. Large. I’m not making any of this story up, nor am I mature enough to have this conversation, but here we are.” — Charlamagne [02:25]

• On obvious giveaways:

  • “If your Yelp reviews sound like they belong on OnlyFans, trust and believe, you might as well be snitching on yourself.” — Charlamagne [04:30]

• On age and staying in the crime game:

  • “At what point are you too old for this? You should be sitting around watching Family Feud, playing Scrabble, but you out here living like a crime boss on a 50 Cent Power spinoff.” — Charlamagne [05:15]

• Donkey of the Day sound-off:

  • “Please give Soon Bang the biggest hee-haw!” — Charlamagne [07:55]

• DJ Envy’s guilty protestations:

  • “You didn’t have to volunteer that information… I didn’t even ask for… we didn’t ask for, like, what are you talking about?” — Charlamagne to DJ Envy [09:55]
  • “You sound guilty to me, sir, I'll be honest with you.” — Charlamagne to DJ Envy [10:24]

Important Timestamps

• 01:19 – Introduction: Soon Bang’s crime and name-related humor
• 03:32 – Discovery of condoms and explicit reviews
• 05:15 – Discussion of Soon Bang’s age; “Are you too old for this?”
• 06:08 – “Guess What Race She Is” game with DJ Envy and Jess Hilarious
• 07:55 – Donkey of the Day awarded; “Give Soon Bang the biggest hee-haw!”
• 08:13 – 10:26 – DJ Envy’s anecdote about possibly visiting Oasis Spa and playful cross-panel ribbing

Overall Tone and Style

Charlamagne delivers the story with his signature blend of satire, irony, and outrageous humor. The episode is packed with wordplay, innuendo, and the light mocking of both the perp and the panelists themselves. Throughout, the mood stays light but pointed, lampooning both how obvious some crimes are and how names can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

For anyone who missed the episode: This “Donkey of the Day” is a tongue-in-cheek breakdown of a bizarre real-life crime, laced with jokes riffing on names, age, obvious criminality, and self-incrimination, all delivered in the irreverent style that defines the segment.