[encore] Kate Micucci

Summary

Podcast Summary: Don't Ask Tig – [Encore Episode] Featuring Kate Micucci

Podcast Information:

• Title: Don't Ask Tig
• Host/Author: American Public Media
• Episode: [Encore] Kate Micucci
• Release Date: November 13, 2024

Overview: In this special encore presentation of Don't Ask Tig, comedian Kate Micucci revisits one of her favorite episodes featuring her dear friend, Tig Notaro. This episode, released just in time for the Thanksgiving season, delves deep into the nuances of friendship, personal projects, love stories, and heartfelt advice, all wrapped up with the comedic charm that fans have come to expect from both Tig and Kate.

---

1. Welcome and Thanksgiving Greetings ([00:31] – [02:05])

Kate begins the episode with a warm Thanksgiving message, extending gratitude to listeners and acknowledging the diverse experiences listeners may have during the holidays.

Notable Quote:

Tig Notaro ([00:31]): "Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for you listeners for sticking with me and for all the dilemmas you've created so we can have content for the show."

---

2. Kangaroo Encounter Comedy Bit ([02:06] – [03:08])

Tig shares a humorous anecdote about attempting to invite kangaroos to a show, only to realize they might not be as friendly as cartoons suggest.

Notable Quote:

Tig Notaro ([02:50]): "Just charging toward me, probably 10ft tall. It was insane."

---

3. Friendship and Shared Experiences ([04:15] – [06:50])

Kate and Tig reminisce about how their friendship blossomed during a Comedy Festival in Melbourne, highlighting the strength and depth of their bond despite busy schedules with family and careers.

Notable Quote:

Kate Micucci ([04:43]): "Whenever I get to spend time with you or catch up, it's always like, ugh, it feels so good."

---

4. Tig’s Latest Project: Cabinet of Curiosities ([06:50] – [08:59])

Tig discusses her role in the Netflix horror anthology series Cabinet of Curiosities. She elaborates on the balance of suspense and humor in her episode titled "The Outside," co-starring Martin Starr.

Notable Quote:

Tig Notaro ([07:00]): "I play a woman who really wants to be beautiful. And so she uses this beauty cream, thinking she's going to turn beautiful, and instead things get crazy."

---

5. Kate’s Commencement Address at Keystone College ([08:59] – [11:18])

Kate shares insights from her commencement speech at Keystone College, emphasizing the importance of thoughtful decision-making and collaboration.

Notable Quote:

Kate Micucci ([09:32]): "If I'm ever thinking on a big decision and I don't know which way to go, I usually write out the pros and the cons, and I really kind of think about it so much before going to bed."

---

6. Representation in Scooby Doo: Velma's LGBTQ+ Identity ([11:18] – [13:12])

The duo discusses the significance of Velma, portrayed by Kate, coming out as LGBTQ+ in Scooby Doo: Trick or Treat. They express pride in the representation and the positive impact it has on fans.

Notable Quote:

Tig Notaro ([12:25]): "I just kept commenting as we were recording it. Because it turned out so well too. It's such a great Scooby Doo movie."

---

7. Personal Stories and Shared Moments ([13:12] – [16:21])

Kate and Tig recount personal memories, including childhood experiences, family interactions, and humorous incidents involving alcohol and oversleeping.

Notable Quote:

Kate Micucci ([14:32]): "I was sitting in the recliner, and I passed out. Middle of the afternoon in the recliner, fully reclined."

---

8. Listener Questions and Advice Segment ([16:31] – [36:31])

a. Lindsay’s Pizza Predicament ([16:37] – [19:26])

A listener recounts accidentally ordering pizza from a place two hours away due to a phone glitch. Tig advises reaching out to apologize and offer payment, emphasizing the importance of honesty.

Notable Quote:

Tig Notaro ([18:24]): "It'd be weird to do that now. Like, taking this advice now and then calling saying, hey, a month ago, you know?"

b. Stacy’s Love Story Query ([19:32] – [27:38])

Stacy asks how Tig and Kate knew they had found "the one." Both share heartfelt stories about recognizing deep connections and the signs that confirmed their relationships.

Notable Quote:

Kate Micucci ([23:32]): "I had a lot of different friends and acquaintances, and you're actually a really good friend of mine."

c. Will’s Considerate Approach to Asking Out a Coworker ([27:58] – [29:10])

Will seeks advice on how to non-invasively express interest in a coworker without causing discomfort. Tig and Kate recommend leaving a polite note with contact information, minimizing pressure.

Notable Quote:

Kate Micucci ([28:32]): "Drop her a little note at the counter when you leave and put your number on there."

d. Charlie’s Therapy Search Challenges ([29:11] – [33:24])

Charlie discusses the difficulties in finding a suitable therapist for herself and her autistic son. Tig offers empathetic advice on specializing searches and being open about past experiences.

Notable Quote:

Tig Notaro ([30:00]): "You've made it very clear in your question that you have a unique set of issues... So take your time and know that you're doing everything right."

e. Cal’s Vegan Thanksgiving Dinner in Sweden ([33:24] – [36:31])

Cal, living in Sweden, seeks vegan alternatives to turkey for a Thanksgiving meal. Tig and Kate suggest embracing diverse vegan dishes like cauliflower steaks and emphasize that the essence of Thanksgiving lies in the togetherness and traditional sides, not just the turkey.

Notable Quote:

Kate Micucci ([36:51]): "You don't have to recreate or mimic the actual part of the meal that is missing. Like it doesn't have to look like or taste like turkey."

---

9. Advice of Yesteryear: Dorothy Dix Column ([36:31] – [40:50])

In a nostalgic segment, Tig and Kate revisit a 1930 advice column by Dorothy Dix, critiquing outdated and regressive advice given to a young girl struggling with social interactions.

Notable Quote:

Dorothy Dix ([40:09]): "Cultivate the habit of silence and meditation. Nothing will do more to make you attractive in men's eyes..."

Response: Tig and Kate express disapproval of the advice, emphasizing the importance of individuality and self-expression over conforming to outdated societal expectations.

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10. Closing Remarks and Promotions ([40:50] – [46:33])

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks between Kate and Tig, holiday greetings, and promotions for Tig’s project Cabinet of Curiosities and upcoming content from Don't Ask Tig. They share amusing observations from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and invite listeners to engage with future episodes.

Notable Quote:

Tig Notaro ([42:12]): "I will be crying in my house."

---

Final Thoughts: This encore episode of Don't Ask Tig offers a delightful blend of comedy, heartfelt conversation, and practical advice. Through personal anecdotes and engaging discussions, Tig Notaro and Kate Micucci provide listeners with both laughter and meaningful insights, making it a standout addition to the Don't Ask Tig library.

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Key Quotes with Timestamps:

1. Tig Notaro ([00:31]): "Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for you listeners for sticking with me and for all the dilemmas you've created so we can have content for the show."

2. Tig Notaro ([07:00]): "I play a woman who really wants to be beautiful. And so she uses this beauty cream, thinking she's going to turn beautiful, and instead things get crazy."

3. Kate Micucci ([09:32]): "If I'm ever thinking on a big decision and I don't know which way to go, I usually write out the pros and the cons, and I really kind of think about it so much before going to bed."

4. Kate Micucci ([23:32]): "I had a lot of different friends and acquaintances, and you're actually a really good friend of mine."

5. Tig Notaro ([18:24]): "It'd be weird to do that now. Like, taking this advice now and then calling saying, hey, a month ago, you know?"

6. Kate Micucci ([28:32]): "Drop her a little note at the counter when you leave and put your number on there."

7. Tig Notaro ([30:00]): "You've made it very clear in your question that you have a unique set of issues... So take your time and know that you're doing everything right."

8. Dorothy Dix ([40:09]): "Cultivate the habit of silence and meditation. Nothing will do more to make you attractive in men's eyes..."

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Stay Connected: For more advice and engaging conversations, tune into Don't Ask Tig on American Public Media. Follow the show on social media and submit your questions at [e-mail].

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This summary was crafted based on the transcript provided and aims to encapsulate the essence and key moments of the encore episode featuring Kate Micucci on Don't Ask Tig.

Transcript

[Tig Notaro]

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[Kate Micucci]

You can also use our savings calculator.

[Tig Notaro]

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[Kate Micucci]

Hey, Danas and Beckys. What you're about to hear is an encore presentation of one of our favorite episodes from the Don't Ask Tig archives. Please enjoy. Hi, it's your friend, Tig. Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for you listeners for sticking with me and for all the dilemmas you've created so we can have content for the show. Keep them coming. Keep them coming. Wishing you and yours a lovely day however you spend it. And if you're not spending it with anyone or you don't like Thanksgiving or the holidays are rough, I feel for you. I'll be thinking of you. And I think all the Beckys and Danas will also have you in mind during this season as well. This year, I'm very, very scaled down. It's just going to be me, Stephanie, and our boys. And we're just going to have the four of us making and eating some food and just relaxing. That's all I want. And it's all that's going to happen. But I have to say, it is my favorite holiday. I do love it so much. But this Thanksgiving, I just really feel like I needed time just with my immediate family and I'm so looking forward to it. But that's it. I just wanted to wish everyone the best. Whatever you're doing, however you're feeling, and that's that. And now here is the show.

[Tig Notaro]

You were trying to convince the kangaroos to come to our show. And so I have this video of you, like, very calmly explaining to the kangaroos where the show is and it's gonna be great and show up for.

[Kate Micucci]

And these are actual kangaroos on a golf course.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. And we didn't really think that the signs applied to us where they said beware of the kangaroos.

[Kate Micucci]

Well, because we also didn't understand that beware of the kangaroos meant they would kill you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Kate Micucci]

I didn't know that. I just thought they were as cute and sweet as the stuffed animals and cartoons appeared to be.

[Tig Notaro]

And this is why we were hanging out really close to them. And then I see out of the corner of my eye, the biggest kangaroo.

[Kate Micucci]

Just charging toward me, probably 10ft tall.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. It was insane. And I got so panicked, and all I could say was, oh, cheese, Tig.

[Kate Micucci]

Oh, cheese, Tig. Keep in mind, not a single kangaroo came to any of our shows.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Kate Micucci]

After the personal invitation on a golf course. We are not alone and nobody is hopeless.

[Tig Notaro]

Everybody goes to sh.

[Kate Micucci]

We got a friend in Tig. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kate Micucci]

This is Don't Ask Tig. I'm Tig Notaro. In this holiday season, I'm gratefully giving thanks and reluctantly giving advice. My guest today is an actress, comedian and musician. Her credits include Raising Hope, Big Bang Theory, and voicing Velma in Scooby Doo. She's also one half of the musical comedy duo Garfunkel and Oates, and most recently starred in the Netflix anthology series Cabinet of Curiosities. Kate Micucci, my dear, dear friend, I'm so pleased to have you here on Don't Ask tv.

[Tig Notaro]

Hi, Tig. Thank you for that intro, and thank you for having me on your podcast. I love this.

[Kate Micucci]

Of course. Yeah. So far, it's really fun.

[Tig Notaro]

One minute in and we're doing great.

[Kate Micucci]

Yes. I was gonna say, I have a lot of different friends and acquaintances, and you're actually a really good friend of mine.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. I love that we're such good friends. And I just got to see you the other day, so I feel like. I know we just hung out for real, and now here we are.

[Kate Micucci]

Here we are.

[Tig Notaro]

So, thank you for having me on your podcast, Tig.

[Kate Micucci]

It is my pleasure. And I was just thinking back to how we became friends. We were both performing at the Comedy Festival in Australia, in Melbourne, as they pronounce it out there. And my apologies to the people out there that just heard me pronounce it.

[Tig Notaro]

Melbourne.

[Kate Micucci]

Melbourne.

[Tig Notaro]

Melbourne.

[Kate Micucci]

That's how they say it.

[Tig Notaro]

It is, I think, how you say it. Right. I don't know. I mean, I think for us to say Melbourne or Melbourne, I guess that's not the right way. So. Yeah, Melbourne.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. I had no idea until I got out there. Melbourne.

[Tig Notaro]

Melbourne.

[Kate Micucci]

Melbourne.

[Tig Notaro]

I know. I was thinking about that this morning, too. Just thinking that we were going to be talking and how we had, like, a magical two weeks. We hung out every day for two whole weeks, and that really solidified our friendship in such a great way.

[Kate Micucci]

Indeed. And it's perfect that this is coming out just before Thanksgiving because, as I mentioned, you really are one of my closest friends, and I appreciate your friendship. I mean, we're both so busy with our spouses and children and careers, but whenever I get to spend time with you or catch up, it's always like, ugh, it feels so good. And you're staying home for Thanksgiving, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we're staying here. And thanks. I feel the same way. Even just the other night when we were at that show, I just felt so, like, filled up afterwards, you know? But, yeah, we're staying in town for Thanksgiving. I have a tradition. I make cinnamon rolls and then watch the parade. And I've been doing that since I was like, 15. And it's my favorite thing. I love the parade so much.

[Kate Micucci]

You love a parade?

[Tig Notaro]

Every parade makes me cry. And if I'm in a parade, forget about it. I just cry the whole time.

[Kate Micucci]

That is incredible. And what are you thankful for this year?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I don't know. For everything. For my family. Everybody is, knock on wood, healthy and happy and, yeah, there's a lot to be thankful for in that sense. And I'm thankful for you, Tig.

[Kate Micucci]

I guess that's what I was getting at.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah. Did I do it right? Okay, good.

[Kate Micucci]

I'm thankful for you as well. Now, your latest project, Cabinet of Curiosities, on Netflix. It's a horror series.

[Tig Notaro]

Yep.

[Kate Micucci]

And being a comedian, what was it like doing horror? And do you enjoy horror?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't like to be too scared. I love, like, suspense and I love kind of like mind bendy things.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But scary, like, guts stuff I normally don't gravitate toward, you know.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But I love getting to act in it and do it. And the episode I'm in is called the Outside, and I play a woman who really wants to be beautiful. And so she uses this beauty cream, thinking she's going to turn beautiful, and instead things get craz.

[Kate Micucci]

Maybe a little scary.

[Tig Notaro]

I think more suspenseful. It's actually not too scary. And I think in many ways there is a bit of humor in it, too. It was a blast to shoot. Martin Starr plays my husband. And we laughed so much.

[Kate Micucci]

He's so great.

[Tig Notaro]

He is amazing. He's just such a good guy. And we've always been friends, but we really got to hang. And there were many times we were just laughing so much. How are we gonna stop laughing and then have to act in something kind of crazy and scary and good?

[Kate Micucci]

That is the best it. I think we were even talking about this the other Night of, like, so many projects that you can work on where people can be not so great.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Kate Micucci]

And I'm all in for a good time on a project.

[Tig Notaro]

It's all just about having a great time and enjoying the people around you. And I think it's trickier, especially with COVID and, like, people are separated a little bit on set, you know, and you can't really, like, mingle as much. But still. Still, it's like that project. We had such a fun time. The director is this really, really cool director, Anna Lily Ambapour. And she. I've never worked with someone who played music during a scene to, like, really feel it, you know? So when I was a kid, my brother and I used to make movies in our backyard. And I didn't know how to edit the music in later, so I would just, like, play the Jurassic park soundtrack while the scene was happening. And that's what it felt like. It was so much fun. I felt like we were just like kids in the backyard making a movie with just a much bigger budget.

[Kate Micucci]

Do you still have the footage of the movies you made?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Kate Micucci]

I mean, you do?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, they're brutal.

[Kate Micucci]

Oh, my gosh. You have to start uploading those somewhere.

[Tig Notaro]

They're so terrible. I don't know that I'd ever upload them, but I would totally show you those. Okay.

[Kate Micucci]

All right, well, I'll report back to everyone.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, great.

[Kate Micucci]

And, Kate, you're an alum of Keystone College in Pennsylvania, and you were asked to give the commencement address this past spring, which is very cool. Did you give advice in your speech?

[Tig Notaro]

I did. I actually really enjoyed writing that speech. I didn't know that I would. And it was just fun. I thought, okay, if I just had one graduate sitting in front of me, what would I want to tell them? And that's kind of how I approached the speech. And I really came up with the things that I use.

[Kate Micucci]

What'd you say? I mean, I don't wanna hear the whole speech.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. You know, probably still have it on my computer. Let me pull. I'm kidding. I won't do the whole speech. And then I also. I wrote a song at the end. Cause I thought, oh, people do know me for, like, playing the ukulele. I might as well write a little ukulele song for the. For the college. And then I, like, started almost crying. I felt so emotional because, again, like, I love parades. I love anything where there's, like, a lot of people united doing the same thing. And to see all these graduates with their Caps and gowns just staring at me while I had my ukulele. I, like, really was choked up while singing about Keystone College. I'm trying to remember the advice. Like, one of them was this test. I do. Like, if I'm ever thinking on a big decision and I don't know which way to go, I usually write out the pros and the cons, and I really kind of, like, think about it so much before going to bed. And then in the morning, my first thought about it. That's what I end up doing.

[Kate Micucci]

Oh, okay. So you do the pros and cons list right before bed.

[Tig Notaro]

Yep. And I think on it a lot. And then in the morning, I usually have a clear answer.

[Kate Micucci]

That's a really good idea. And do you feel like the success rate swings in your favor?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I feel like almost all the time that I've done that specific thing, I've made the correct decision for myself.

[Kate Micucci]

That's good.

[Tig Notaro]

But I will say, like, it's not that I do it all the time. It's always when there's, like, a big, you know, big thing.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. Should I do. Don't ask to.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that was a big one.

[Kate Micucci]

And that is the advice you gave during the speech.

[Tig Notaro]

That was one of the things I said. I'm trying to remember. Another thing I talked about was finding people who have similar interests and teaming up and how powerful it can be to have people that you work with. And when there's two people who are working in the same direction, it just adds so much power to the motor.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel that way with Stephanie. I feel like once she and I connected, I mean, obviously romantically, things moved quickly. But also, it took us a few years, two or three years before we collaborated creatively, and when we did, everything moved quickly as well. It was really something.

[Tig Notaro]

It's pretty cool when it's undeniable that you can just feel it happening, and you're like, whoa, now this is almost taking off faster than I even intended, you know, for sure.

[Kate Micucci]

And then Kate Velma, the Scooby Doo character who you've voiced for many years, came out this year as officially LGBTQ in Trick or Treat. Scooby Doo.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Kate Micucci]

What was your reaction to her coming out?

[Tig Notaro]

I was so thrilled. I remember when I got the script, I was like, no way. No way. And then when we were recording it, I just couldn't help myself. Like, I was always like, this is so cool, you guys. This is a big deal. This is so awesome. Like, I just kept commenting as we were recording It. Because it turned out so well too. It's such a great Scooby Doo movie. So. Yeah. I'm just proud that she's out and able to live the life she wants to live.

[Kate Micucci]

And was there. Yeah. When I was a kid watching Scooby Doo, I wasn't thinking about anybody's gender or sexuality. You know what I mean?

[Tig Notaro]

Totally.

[Kate Micucci]

Was there speculation that she was gay?

[Tig Notaro]

I think so. I feel like I've always, like throughout the years, especially since I've played her, I've read little things or people have said things, but it was never like a thing, I don't think.

[Kate Micucci]

I feel like Peppermint Patty was very much the obvious. Like this is likely somebody that's not going to end up married to a man. And just a little side note, I played Peppermint Patty in the fourth or fifth grade school play.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you do You're a Good Man Charlie Brown?

[Kate Micucci]

I think so, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I love that show.

[Kate Micucci]

And when you say you love that show, I'm assuming you mean the one that I was in.

[Tig Notaro]

That one. That specific one.

[Kate Micucci]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

You Peppermint Patty. I'll never forget it.

[Kate Micucci]

I think I had to wear a dress, but then I wore a baseball hat and I was pretty miserable because I didn't want to be in that dress.

[Tig Notaro]

I hated wearing dresses too.

[Kate Micucci]

The worst.

[Tig Notaro]

I would have to wear dresses for piano recitals when I was little and I would beg to wear. Do you remember in the 80s they had those shorts called jams? They were just kind of like colorful shorts. And I'd be like, can I please wear my jams under my dress? I just want to wear my jams.

[Kate Micucci]

I don't know about jams.

[Tig Notaro]

I haven't really thought about jams in a long time. I'm going to have to look it up and even see if it was a thing or if maybe it was just something my mom called my shorts.

[Kate Micucci]

That's hilarious. Your mother is known for giving names to things and people.

[Tig Notaro]

This is true.

[Kate Micucci]

Kate's mother calls me the Tig. So there you go.

[Tig Notaro]

My parents love you. It's so funny. It was so great. You are one of the only friends from LA that have come to visit my parents house in Pennsylvania. Cause it worked out that we were in Philly and then we took the bus and they picked us up at the bus station. That was so much fun.

[Kate Micucci]

It was fun. Embarrassing. I am not, as I've said a million times, the biggest drinker that you'll come across. And it was your father. Right. He was making Vodka or gin and tonics?

[Tig Notaro]

One or the other. Yeah. Mike Micucci makes a ra. Real big drink.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah, well, he offered me one, and I thought, well, I'll just have this. And so I had it. I was sitting in the recliner, and I passed out. Middle of the afternoon in the recliner, fully reclined. And then I woke up later in the day, still in the recliner, reclined. And your parents Neighbors had come over and were in the same room just chatting with their neighbors while I was passed out on the recliner. I can't even explain the confusion and embarrassment when I woke up in this recliner in this small town in Pennsylvania with your parents and their neighbors sitting and chatting while I slept.

[Tig Notaro]

My version of that is we were both really tired, and I also was taking a nap on the couch, but I was like, in and out kind of. And I just remember kind of being like, oh, the neighbors are here, and they're, like, having this conversation, like, oh, yep, she's a comedian. Like, talking about you while you sleeping.

[Kate Micucci]

Passed out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Kate Micucci]

So embarrassing.

[Tig Notaro]

Has she been on any shows?

[Kate Micucci]

And, you know, I'm just like, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, well, the Tig.

[Kate Micucci]

The Tig. Leave it to the Tig. Kate, are you ready to give these listeners some advice?

[Tig Notaro]

You betcha. Let's do it.

[Kate Micucci]

All right, well, you grew up in Pennsylvania, and this first question is from a listener who lives there now.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, great.

[Kate Micucci]

Lindsay writes, I live with my fiance in a suburb outside of Philadelphia. One night, we were driving home in the evening after a school performance, and we wanted to order a pizza for pickup. I turned on my phone, called the generically named Pizza Shop on the way home, asked what time they closed. They said, 12 midnight, and ordered a pizza. When we arrived at the pizza place around 10, it was closed. We realized that when I turned on my phone, it automatically generated my search for places in New York City. So our pizza was waiting for us two hours away. We could not agree on what to do. Do next. Call the New York Pizza Shop to apologize, pay for the pizza. We won't eat, don't call at all, assuming they have a procedure for extra pizza. Lindsay out of the gate. You've got to be a fairly decent human being that you're still thinking about this to the point of asking advice, writing in. But I would lean towards reaching out to the pizza place and explaining what happened and sorting it through with them. I've worked at pizza places, and no pizza goes uneaten behind the scenes. But it certainly wouldn't hurt to call and connect with them and explain what happened and offer to pay. They might be like, don't even worry. Sam in the kitchen gobbled that down immediately. And I highly doubt they even remember it, because I feel like things just go awry all the time in kitchens. But paying for it would certainly be nice. Or extending yourself to at least have the conversation.

[Tig Notaro]

I agree. I think in the moment when I realized that I would have just called and offered. I feel like it'd be weird to do that now. Like, taking this advice now and then calling saying, hey, a month ago, you know?

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. But you can also, even if you did, just honestly say, I've been so paralyzed by what to do, and I'm sorry this is coming so late, but this did happen a month ago.

[Tig Notaro]

As you were reading that. I thought the story was gonna take, like, a crazier turn and that, like, they were like, let's just hop on a train and go pick up the pizza. You know, that would have been really, like, just a fun adventure and a great life story, you know? Yeah.

[Kate Micucci]

Maybe still take a train to New York.

[Tig Notaro]

It's not that far.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. See if the pizza's still. Wait, what if it was? What if Lindsay walked into that place and there was a pizza sitting there.

[Tig Notaro]

With her name, just kind of gross and old.

[Kate Micucci]

Very gross and old. Not even kind of. Just very gross and old sitting there. Lindsay, pick up your pizza.

[Tig Notaro]

I think that is the best advice. Go get it.

[Kate Micucci]

Go get your pizza now. Lindsay. I would say just be honest with him, that you didn't know what to do. And if you are embarrassed, say, I'm embarrassed. It took me a month to do this. And then, you know, say that you listen to Don't Ask Tig. Tell them they should listen to Don't Ask Tig. Tell them to tell their friends to listen to Don't Ask Tig. And, you know, I think you'll get your pizza situation sorted out quickly, but that's what we have to say about it. Thanks for writing in. And, Kate, it's time for a break. Then we have more questions.

[Tig Notaro]

Sounds good. Foreign we're interrupting this podcast to ask you a very important question. Have you had your Hershey's? When you need to brighten up your day, put a smile on your face with the classic creamy texture and pure milk chocolate flavor of Hershey's milk chocolate. Whether you're eating it on the go, breaking off a few pieces for s'mores night, or just treating yourself to something sweet, Hershey's milk Chocolate checks all the boxes. Shop for Hershey's Milk Chocolate now at a store near you found wherever candy is sold. I'm Franklin Leonard, founder of the Blacklist. We know what makes a good screenplay. But when it comes to what makes a blockbuster or a box office bomb, the truth is nobody knows anything. Including our star panel of podcast guests. I was told this was a quiz program.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah, just so you know, I just thought it was.

[Tig Notaro]

Nobody Knows Anything presented by fx. Find it wherever you get your podcast. Calling all fun lovers and memory makers, Texas invites you to cheer. From our stadiums and dance like no one is watching. Culture seekers can find the art that truly inspires buyers.

[Kate Micucci]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

And from our shopping hubs to our chic boutiques, fashionistas will never leave empty handed. Texas is an unforgettable experience that's waiting just for you. Visit traveltexas.com and plan your trip today.

[Kate Micucci]

Let's Texas.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey all. I'm Jamie Lynn Sigler, a mom, actor and advocate. I know how overwhelming it can be trying to decide which treatment is right for you. I've been there. But you should know you're not alone. You can do this. Start with some research, talk to the community, and most importantly, don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions. You might find results that speak for themselves. That's how I landed on Qysimpta. Ask your doctor if Qisimta ofatumumab could be right for you. You can check out the [e-mail] foreign.

[Kate Micucci]

And we are back. Kate, this next question is from Stacy. Stacy writes, first of all, I love your love story. How did you know your person was the one? What advice would you have for us single folk? Thank you, Stacy. I love my love story as well. How did I know Stephanie was the one? I think the ease that presented just immediately. I know that in previous relationships, as much as I was into someone or committed, I was always thinking that kind of we'll see or just kind of bouncing around in my head from, yes, no, I don't know. But I was still enjoying people. I just didn't have that solidified feeling that I had when I met Stephanie where I immediately thought, oh my gosh, I want to spend my life with this person. That's how I knew. What about you, Kate?

[Tig Notaro]

You know, I mean, this is gonna sound really weird, but again, it was like, I know this sounds cliche, but it's that feeling. Like, it's like, you know, people talk about it and I think like you, I had dated a lot of people and like I'd had that feeling. Ah, maybe. Or. But, like, if you're rattling around in your head other options or what else is out there, it's not the right thing. And then when I met Jake, I remember on our second date, we went out for brunch, and then he said, do you want to go look at houses? And I was like, really? Okay. Yeah, sure. So we pretended that we were together, like, for a long time and that we were looking for a house to buy. And it was. Which I would just also say, that's a great, fun date, like, no matter what. And we even, like, got, like, caught in the way that, like, would be in a movie. We're like, oh, where do you live? And we both said, different places. And we were like, oh, oh, ooh.

[Kate Micucci]

We have two apartments.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, exactly. I know this is gonna sound so weird, but while I was driving around with Jake on that date, I remember feeling like my grandmother was with us. And I remember feeling like she was like, yes, Katie, this is a good one. Like, I just. I had never felt that before. And I was just like, wow. I really feel. I remember feeling very safe with him. And he was also a very good driver, which I think sometimes when I've been on dates, I was like, oh, no. They're like a crazy driver. So I remember thinking I was very safe and that my grandmother was with us. And I took that as a sign.

[Kate Micucci]

That's hot.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Kate Micucci]

That is a hot first date to be driving your grandmother around at 10 miles an hour. It's true. It's so true.

[Tig Notaro]

And after our second, it went so well. Our brunch turned into, like, 5pm and I actually had a date later that night with someone else. And I said, I gotta go. And he was like, really? And I was like, yeah, I have a date. And he was like, oh, okay. And then I felt so bad. And the entire time I was on this other date, I was thinking about Jake, and I was like, what am I doing here?

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And then I remember calling him and just being like, that date didn't matter. I really, really like you. And that was, for me. Yeah, that was it.

[Kate Micucci]

I had a similar situation where I had gone out with Stephanie, but wasn't sure if I should cancel with somebody else. And I thought, well, I should probably just go out with this other girl. And Stephanie knew. She was saying, look, I'm not expecting you to not go out with other people. And I said, well, I do have this other date. And I just feel like I should do that. And then I did, and it was a disaster. And as soon as I walked out the door, I turned the corner, pulled over, called Stephanie, and I was just like, I'm finished with that date, can I see you now? And I immediately went and met up with her at like 10 o'clock. I couldn't wait to see her again. So I don't know, I feel like Stacy, I think there's advice within those stories. Just meaning it's so dumb to say, but you know, you know, you know, you know. And I never understood that. And if you don't know and you're sitting there thinking, I don't know is this, is this, then you don't know. But when you know, it's unmistakable.

[Tig Notaro]

I think that's perfect advice. And I just think trying to make something work, it's really hard. It's just not the thing. There'll be something that comes along that's just easy. Yeah. And then within that, it's not always easy, but I think the beginning, it should just feel so right.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah, for sure. Well, that's how Kate Micucci and I knew about our love. So good luck on finding yours too.

[Tig Notaro]

And don't give up hope because I will say I feel like I dated so much, so many first dates.

[Kate Micucci]

She did, she did.

[Tig Notaro]

I did, I did. And you have to put yourself out there and don't be afraid to. I think that's another thing because it's like kind of like playing the lottery. You gotta be in it to win it.

[Kate Micucci]

Mm, that's true. Look, I did not think long term love or marriage was in the cards for me either because I dated a lot too. Best of luck to you, Stacy and Kate. This next question is from a guy who wants to be considerate.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Kate Micucci]

Will writes, there's a cute girl who works the register at a convenience store. I want to ask her out or maybe give her my number. But on Reddit I see a lot of posts by women who are frustrated crying out to the universe, I'm not flirting with you. It's my job to be nice to you. I'd like to think I know the difference, but maybe I don't. I don't want to stress her out or ruin her day. Is there a non invasive way to show her my interest when I see her at her work?

[Tig Notaro]

That's a tricky one.

[Kate Micucci]

It is.

[Tig Notaro]

But also I think if you're two grown ups and are just nice people, if he were to just say, I'm interested, I think if it doesn't go well or she gets mad, as long as he doesn't say anything that's, like, inappropriate, which it sounds like he's not. It sounds like he's so considerate that he's actually writing you to find out what to do. I feel like you can't go wrong in just expressing some interest. Right.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. Maybe drop her a little note at the counter when you leave and put your number on there. And if you hear from her, great. And if you don't, then find a new convenience store.

[Tig Notaro]

That's a great idea. That's it.

[Kate Micucci]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

That way the pressure is off her completely.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. Yeah. And you can even add in the note, if I don't hear from you, I'll find a new convenience store. You don't have to see my face. Again. I think that there is something to say for delivery, as you were mentioning, like, if you say something weird or something overtly sexual or just weird, and it doesn't sound like you are that person, Will. So I say, don't write a long letter. Just say something short and sweet. Not too sweet, but just direct. And also say, absolutely. If I don't hear from you, no hard feelings, and I'll go to a different store and you won't even have to worry about it. So, Will. There you go. We're going to take a quick break to answer a question that came in our therapy etiquette inbox. This segment is where we answer those awkward questions we all have as people getting the professional help we need and deserve. And is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Charlie writes. Hi, Tig. I would like to know how to go about finding a therapist. I've talked to a few people that seem to have matched perfectly with a therapist on their first try. I, however, have had no such luck. I've known for a while that I've needed to go to therapy. I also have a son who needs therapy as well. The first therapist I went to nodded off while I was talking. A year ago, I found a family therapist that seems to be a good fit for both myself and my son, who is 13 years old and autistic. A few weeks ago, she ended our session saying she felt like she couldn't really provide the help we needed. I'm so lost and frustrated. It's really difficult to go out there and look for help and then to have experienced these setbacks. How should I look for another therapist, and what should I be looking for? I'm sorry that you had some negative experiences finding a therapist, Charlie. I know it can be discouraging to struggle to find the help that you need. You make it very clear in your question that you have a unique set of issues and the professional who is sensitive, attentive, and trained to deal with your specific life circumstances might take some time to find. But here is the good news. When you find that person, it's going to make this whole struggle worthwhile. You mentioned your son's autism. Finding the right person to help him might be a good place to start. You could search for therapists who specialize in autism or other forms of neurodivergence first, and then narrow down your search based on other factors. Also, keep in mind that once you find a therapist, it's perfectly okay to tell them about your past experiences with finding the right match. And keep in mind, even if they're not the right fit, they can still provide referrals. So any meeting still has the potential to be a positive step forward. This is a major choice and it costs you a lot of time and energy to invest in a new therapeutic relationship. So take your time and know that you're doing everything right. I've gone to many different sessions and had phone calls with numerous therapists that were not quite right. So just know it's a typical situation. I hope this has been helpful or at least somewhat reassuring. We want to hear from you. Send us your therapy etiquette. Related questionsontasktig.org thanks to our sponsor, BetterHelp. Now let's get back to the show. Kate, this question comes from From a foreigner wanting some help with celebrating Thanksgiving. Cal in Sweden writes, hi Tig and guest. That's you, that's me.

[Tig Notaro]

Hi.

[Kate Micucci]

I'm having a friend over for Thanksgiving and she is vegan. Any ideas for a really delicious vegan alternative to turkey? I'm an American living in Sweden where I can't find things like tofurkey, but I do want to give my Swedish friend some semblance of an authentic Thanksgiving meal. Any ideas you can offer are greatly appreciated. You know, I have to say that people that are not vegan, they always seem to go towards something like tofurkey. And that's great, but it's not necessary. You don't have to recreate or mimic the actual part of the meal that is missing. Like it doesn't have to look like or taste like turkey. There are so many other options. So I wouldn't stress about tofurkey. There are things like cauliflower, steak, mushrooms. I mean, mushrooms go a long way and you can get some really cool fancy mushrooms that really kind of mimic meat and it shocks people Even eggplant. I don't know what kind of a cook you are, but I would say just don't worry about actually replacing the turkey. Just make something delicious, and you're going to have the vibe of Thanksgiving with mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce or whatever, other types of things that you add to your dinner. But I personally wouldn't be showing up to Thanksgiving thinking, where is my turkey alternative? Where's the thing that looks and tastes exactly like turkey? Or else I'm not going to have a good Thanksgiving. Kate, I know you're not vegan, but any thoughts on that?

[Tig Notaro]

I'm not, but I'm also not a huge meat eater. And I was just going to say, when Thanksgiving rolls around, the thing I am least excited about is the turkey. The other stuff is so much fun. And I think there's a much easier way to make those things vegan, like you were saying. And I'm sure you can just get, like, the sweet potato, the vegan recipe for that, and the, you know, all these things that really make the Thanksgiving meal way more exciting. And so, yeah, if you have everything even but the turkey, it'll still feel like Thanksgiving. But I was gonna say, too, there might be a really fun way to get. You know how like, they have those cake competitions where they're like, is this cake or the real thing? You know, like, maybe you could get some kind of vegan icing and make a cake in the shape of a turkey or just something like that. Just a fun little thing. You know, if you're really worried about representing a turkey at your meal, but I don't think it's necessary.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah, you will not know the difference with the mashed potatoes, the different vegetables that you put on the plate, and the big turkey cake and vegan stuffing.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, you can definitely make that.

[Kate Micucci]

There's vegan gravy. It's endless. Cal, try that out and let us know how it turns out. I really am curious, Kate. For our last segment, I'm going to take us back in time. This is advice of yesteryear.

[Tig Notaro]

When Jerry brags about taking Ginny out, he learns that she dates. So, as we see now, menstruation is just one routine step in a normal and natural cycle.

[Kate Micucci]

How do you choose a date?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, one thing you can consider is, look, I did everything you said, but.

[Kate Micucci]

My boss still hasn't asked me to lunch. This is where we take a real question from an advice column of yesteryear, and we try to answer it a little better. This question comes to us from a Dorothy Dix column written in 1930. Dear Dorothy Dix, I'm a 16 year old girl, good looking and well dressed, but I talk an awful lot and never stop to think before I speak. But here is my tale of woe. I can't seem to make a hit with the boys. Do you think my talking too much has anything to do with it? Sweet 16.

[Tig Notaro]

I love her.

[Kate Micucci]

Oh, do you have any advice for sweet 16?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I mean, I just can't help but wonder why she feels that she talks too much. I feel like people have told her this because she's self conscious about it. And I think, you know, women are expected to sometimes be quieter, especially in 1930. And so. Oh, if I could give her advice today, I would just say, be yourself as much as possible and it won't matter. And just hang in there with those boys. Somebody's gonna like that. You talk a lot.

[Kate Micucci]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Kate Micucci]

Some guy's gonna show up, driving slow, and you're gonna feel like your grandmother's in the car. What were you gonna say?

[Tig Notaro]

No, I was just curious. It's, you know, you wonder where, if she found somebody, you know, almost 100 years later.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah, I know. Oh my gosh, I hope she didn't.

[Tig Notaro]

Try to make herself quiet.

[Kate Micucci]

I know.

[Tig Notaro]

It's kind of sad to think about someone going, okay, just talk less, just talk less, you know?

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

What would you say to her, Tig?

[Kate Micucci]

I would say something very similar. Especially at 16, it sometimes takes a while for people to understand who they are and what they're looking for and to find the right group of people that's going to share interests and be like minded enough to connect. And especially if there's not a lot of support in who you are, it's likely that Sweet 16 isn't around the right people. Yeah, it is unfortunate when you think of anybody that didn't live the life that they really should have been living or.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, trying to conform into what you think is the right thing. Which, yeah, it sounds like she was trying to do.

[Kate Micucci]

As soon as I figured out that I was gay and I figured out I was a comedian, I felt like my life just clicked into place. Yep, I hope sweet 16 figured that out. But would you like to know what Dorothy Dix had to say?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Okay, hit it, Dorothy.

[Kate Micucci]

Sweet 16, I would say yes. Because if you chatter all the time without putting any thoughts into what you are saying, you must be such a bore that you can't wonder that anybody flees from you. Believe Me, dear child, there is no one else in the world more tiresome as a woman who just babbles. Conversation. To be agreeable is a give and take proposition. Cultivate the habit of silence and meditation. Nothing will do more to make you attractive in men's eyes or to fit you to become a more desirable wife.

[Tig Notaro]

Dorothy.

[Kate Micucci]

Dorothy. That was such a great response. Oh, my God. Dorothy is the worst. I mean, the worst. It's like relentlessly horrendous advice. I've never heard anything positive out of this woman's trap.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, geez, it's just. I mean, it is a different time, but sadly, I still think that a lot of those things apply, and people still feel those things today. So be who you want to be and don't let people quiet you. And. Yeah, that's a bummer.

[Kate Micucci]

Dorothy. Kate.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[Kate Micucci]

That is the end of the road for this episode of Don't Ask. Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

This was so much fun. Tig, thank you for having me.

[Kate Micucci]

Thank you for being here. Do you have anything you would like to promote?

[Tig Notaro]

I just want to say. Yeah, check out Cabinet of Curiosities. It's actually a Christmas episode. So this holiday season, if you want a little horror and a little Christmas, that's where you can find it. And also, just want to say Happy Thanksgiving. And I hope that you enjoy the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, because I know I will.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah. Kate will be crying in her house.

[Tig Notaro]

I will be.

[Kate Micucci]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

I'll tell you, I like to look for, like, oh, the person that misses their lip sync cue when the song starts. Or, like, you know, the person with a balloon that can't keep their balance. Like, I look for those things. It's just my favorite.

[Kate Micucci]

Stephanie told me about her cousins, kids, and they just weren't really up with what was going on in TV and all that kind of stuff. And then they were somehow watching the Thanksgiving parade, and one of the kids pointed and said, look, a piece of cheese. And it was spongebob. Oh, no, that's so cute.

[Tig Notaro]

Look, a piece of cheese wearing shorts.

[Kate Micucci]

Piece of cheese. And it was, like, in the middle of SpongeBob's heyday.

[Tig Notaro]

That is so funny. Oh, well, they were having fun.

[Kate Micucci]

Yeah, for sure. All right, Kate, thank you so much for taking the time to do the show. And I can't wait for. I think I might be seeing you this weekend.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, I think so, too. I look forward to hanging.

[Kate Micucci]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

And Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thanks, Tig.

[Kate Micucci]

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. Bye. Bye.

[Tig Notaro]

Bye. Oh, my sweetheart. There's so much I want you to.

[Kate Micucci]

Know oh, my sweetheart there's so much I want you to see I wish, I wish that I could give you the answer I wish that I could make you believe I wish that I.

[Tig Notaro]

Could put you on your path and set you free that's what your heart is for that's what your heart is for that's what your heart.

[Kate Micucci]

Don't Ask TIG is hosted by me, Tig Notaro. It's produced by Thomas Willette and Shayna Deloria. Our executive producer and editor is Beth Pearlman. Engineering and sound mixing by Alex Simpson. Digital production by James Napoli. Talent booking by Marianne Ways. Our theme music is Friend in Tig by Edie Brell and Kyle Krusham and listen to your heart by Edie Brickell. Special thanks to Hunter Seidman, APM Studios Executives in charge are Chandra Kavadi, Alex Shaffert and Joanne Griffith. Concept developed by Tracy Mumford. Our executive consultant is Dean Capello and Gobsmack Studios. You can always ask for advice [e-mail] just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo. Remember to follow us on social media at Don't Ask Tig. Don't Ask TIG is a production of American Public Media. And as always, thanks Dana and I'll tell Becky.

[Tig Notaro]

That's what your heart is for. That's what your heart is for.

[Kate Micucci]

Listen to your heart. The Soul to Story podcast is about how teaching kids to read went wrong. But now we have a story about a school district where things are going very right. Let me make sure my friends are.

[Tig Notaro]

Sitting crisscross applesauce, hands in their lap. I've never had a child that couldn't read.

[Kate Micucci]

How did they do it?

[Tig Notaro]

When I tell some of my other.

[Kate Micucci]

Colleagues that may be at other schools.

[Tig Notaro]

That this is what I do and.

[Kate Micucci]

They would say, you kidding me? New episodes of Sold a Story are available now in your podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Apparently.