Podcast Summary: Don't Ask Tig – [Encore] Phoebe Robinson

Episode Title: [Encore] Phoebe Robinson
Host: Tig Notaro
Guest: Phoebe Robinson
Release Date: October 9, 2024
Produced By: American Public Media

Introduction

In this encore presentation of a beloved episode from the "Don't Ask Tig" archives, Tig Notaro welcomes comedian and multifaceted talent Phoebe Robinson for an engaging and humorous discussion. The episode delves into personal anecdotes, life challenges, and reaches into the listeners' advice conundrums, all infused with Tig and Phoebe's trademark wit.

Guest Introduction

Tig Notaro opens the show with her characteristic humor:

[02:22] Tig Notaro: "This is Don't Ask Tig. I'm Tig Notaro, reminding everyone that if you don't ask, you shall still receive advice."

She introduces Phoebe Robinson, highlighting her achievements as an actor, comedian, producer, New York Times bestselling author, and podcaster.

[03:40] Tig Notaro: "My guest today is an actor, comedian and producer. She's also a New York Times bestselling author, podcaster, and just an all-around dope queen. Phoebe Robinson, my dear friend, thank you for joining."

Phoebe Robinson responds warmly, setting the tone for a friendly and candid conversation.

Personal Updates: Moving and Touring Stress

The conversation kicks off with Phoebe sharing her current life updates:

[06:31] Phoebe Robinson: "We are in the process of trying to sell our apartment so we can move and rent a bigger place while Luke is on the road working."

Phoebe reveals the double stress of relocating amidst her partner Luke’s demanding touring schedule, expressing concern over how to make Luke feel relaxed upon his return to a chaotic home environment.

[07:26] Phoebe Robinson: "He'll be gone for like 10 weeks. He's getting back into touring, and it just is, like, okay, he's going to come home to things being in flux and then go back out on the road."

Tig Notaro offers empathetic and practical advice, suggesting a thoughtful welcome for Luke to ease his transition back home.

[08:01] Tig Notaro: "Do you intercept him and just have him meet you at a hotel and have a really nice night or two together before, just so he can catch his breath and he doesn't feel like he has to unpack or pack... just be there and it's just the two of you together."

Phoebe appreciates the suggestion, recognizing its value in maintaining their relationship amidst the upheaval.

Listener Questions and Advice

1. Handling a Difficult Hair Specialist

Listener: Kobe
Question: Dealing with a curl specialist who is a right-wing denialist making uncomfortable remarks during appointments.

[14:00] Tig Notaro: "If you don't believe what this person is spewing, that's too much toxicity to be trapped in that situation."

Phoebe reinforces the importance of surrounding oneself with positive energy and suggests finding a new hair specialist to preserve personal well-being.

[17:54] Phoebe Robinson: "You truly do not want to let them go. She's in the Midwest, so there might be slim pickings, but there's gotta be somebody else in her town."

Tig humorously offers her own services, adding a lighthearted touch to the advice.

[18:26] Tig Notaro: "It's completely free. I am happy to come out there and work on your hair."

2. Deciding Where to Live: Colorado vs. Seattle

Listener: Unknown
Question: Choosing between the enjoyable lifestyle of Colorado without local friends or staying in Seattle with a strong friend network but not loving the big city vibe.

Phoebe advises prioritizing personal happiness and lifestyle over geographical convenience of friendships.

[23:26] Phoebe Robinson: "They prefer the lifestyle of Colorado. Then you just stay in Colorado... FaceTime, phone calls, you can fly to see friends."

Tig echoes the sentiment, emphasizing that personal quality of life should take precedence.

[23:35] Tig Notaro: "If your quality of life is going to be your neighborhood and like seeing your friend Rebecca is not going to make up for living in a neighborhood that you hate."

3. Dealing with a Critical Grandma

Listener: Megan
Question: Managing a grandmother who is consistently mean to others but affectionate towards Megan.

Phoebe suggests setting boundaries and limiting interactions to preserve emotional well-being.

[27:10] Phoebe Robinson: "She's not gonna change, Meg. ... sometimes some of the things that you say can hurt people's feelings."

Tig adds practical strategies, such as taking breaks during interactions to maintain peace of mind.

[31:28] Tig Notaro: "Shut it, Grandma."

Phoebe further advises engaging in activities that minimize confrontations.

[29:36] Phoebe Robinson: "Maybe do activities with her grandma where there's less talking... like watch The Voice."

4. Problematic Parrot in Relationships

Listener: Birdie
Question: A parrot that believes Birdie is his girlfriend, attacking friends and suitors.

Tig approaches the question with humor, suggesting unconventional solutions such as pairing the parrot with another bird.

[32:24] Tig Notaro: "Maybe set that parrot up with a bird."

Phoebe continues the comedic advice, highlighting the absurdity while still addressing the underlying issue of managing animal behavior.

[32:22] Phoebe Robinson: "Get a second bird. This is way more work. But hopefully, they'll fall in love..."

Advice of Yesteryear: 1919 Love Inquiry

In the "Advice of Yesteryear" segment, Tig and Phoebe tackle a nostalgic question from a 1919 Beatrice Fairfax advice column.

Question: A 21-year-old war worker is in love with a 31-year-old man who dismisses her declarations of love.

Phoebe empathizes with the heartache and offers modern perspectives on self-worth and relationship dynamics.

[36:22] Phoebe Robinson: "That's kind of hot. I'm not gonna lie."

Tig humorously critiques the dated advice provided in the original column, emphasizing the importance of self-respect and recognizing unreciprocated feelings.

[40:38] Tig Notaro: "The quickest way to lose any man is to be all pale and forlorn. Where's your spunk?"

Together, they conclude that the original advice demeans the questioner, advocating for empowerment and self-care instead.

Closing Remarks

Phoebe promotes her book, encouraging listeners to support her work, while Tig and Phoebe engage in a final exchange filled with humor and camaraderie.

[42:05] Phoebe Robinson: "Will you get my book? Please don't sit on my bed in your outside clothes."

[43:46] Tig Notaro: "I adore you."

The episode wraps up with gentle humor and heartfelt appreciation for each other's company, leaving listeners with both laughs and meaningful takeaways.

Notable Quotes

• Tig Notaro [08:01]: "Do you intercept him and just have him meet you at a hotel and have a really nice night or two together before, just so he can catch his breath and he doesn't feel like he has to unpack or pack... just be there and it's just the two of you together."

• Phoebe Robinson [23:26]: "They prefer the lifestyle of Colorado. Then you just stay in Colorado... FaceTime, phone calls, you can fly to see friends."

• Tig Notaro [31:28]: "Shut it, Grandma."

• Phoebe Robinson [41:17]: "Grandmother Beatrice is a bitch. Just eat your dinner."

Conclusion

This encore episode of "Don't Ask Tig" featuring Phoebe Robinson masterfully blends personal storytelling with practical advice, all delivered through the dynamic chemistry between Tig and Phoebe. Listeners are treated to a mix of heartfelt guidance and lighthearted humor, making it both entertaining and insightful.

Follow and Engage

For more advice and stimulating conversations, follow "Don't Ask Tig" on social media and submit your own questions at Don'tAskTig.org. Join Tig and guests in navigating life's myriad challenges with a blend of wisdom and laughter.