Podcast Summary: Don't Ask Tig – [Encore] Stephanie Allynne
Host: Tig Notaro
Guest: Stephanie Allynne
Release Date: April 10, 2024

Introduction

In this encore episode of Don't Ask Tig, host Tig Notaro welcomes back her first-ever returning guest, Stephanie Allynne—an accomplished actress, comedian, writer, and director known for her roles in In A World, One Mississippi, Twin Peaks, The L Word: Generation Q, and more. Alongside her wife Kristin (played by Stephanie herself), they delve into personal anecdotes, family stories, and listener questions, offering inexpert yet heartfelt advice on various life challenges.

Revisiting Past Conversations

The episode opens with Stephanie addressing past listener interactions about growing older. She shares heartfelt reflections on aging, birthday experiences, and personal milestones.

Notable Quote:
"I’m very comfortable with being 52. I’m happy to be where I am."
— Kristin (01:30)

Stephanie recounts a memorable birthday spent stranded at the Las Vegas airport, turning what seemed like a disaster into a fun family adventure thanks to the camaraderie of their chatty sons.

Notable Quote:
"We spent almost five hours in the airport lounge during March Madness, and our sons made friends with everybody."
— Kristin (04:49)

Family Dynamics and Hilarious Mishaps

Stephanie and Kristin share humorous and poignant stories from their family life, highlighting the chaos and love that come with extended family gatherings.

Vegas Airport Birthday Adventure

Stephanie narrates the ordeal of a canceled flight on her birthday, leading to unexpected delays and family interactions that ultimately made the day enjoyable.

Notable Quote:
"We got rebooked three times, delayed speaker. We spent almost five hours in the airport lounge..."
— Kristin (04:49)

Graveyard Fiasco

A particularly funny yet touching story involves Kristin’s brother accidentally falling into their stepfather Rick’s grave during a funeral, leading to stunned silence followed by laughter.

Notable Quote:
"Is this really happening? This must happen all the time. Of course, it doesn't happen all the time."
— Kristin (12:38)

Stephanie contrasts this with another graveyard mishap involving misplacement of ashes, adding a layer of dark humor to their family tales.

Notable Quote:
"When my father died, his ashes blew out of the bag and were buried in somebody else’s grave."
— Stephanie (15:00)

Listener Q&A: Advice Segments

The heart of the episode centers around listener questions, where Stephanie and Kristin provide their perspectives on various personal dilemmas.

1. Navigating Love and Picky Dating (Emily’s Question)

Question:
"I am 30 years old and have been perpetually single for 10 years... Should I maybe try spending more of my time with someone in the hopes that a little annoying thing stops bothering me?"
— Emily

Advice:
Both Kristin and Stephanie discuss the importance of recognizing red flags early in relationships. They suggest that if multiple minor issues are causing dissatisfaction, it may indicate deeper incompatibilities rather than simply being picky.

Notable Quote:
"When you really love someone, those things don't bother you."
— Kristin (18:21)

2. Managing Yelling with Young Children (Jess’s Question)

Question:
"I have three kids under the age of six... I have become a yeller... What would you suggest to change?"
— Jess

Advice:
The duo empathize with Jess’s struggles, attributing the yelling to heightened stress and new family dynamics. They recommend seeking professional help and finding moments for self-care to alleviate stress.

Notable Quote:
"It's an invitation to go, 'Oh, I need alone time.'"
— Kristin (27:01)

3. Cat Ownership Enthusiasm (Libby’s Question)

Question:
"I like cats. How many cats can I own?"
— Libby

Advice:
Encouraging Libby’s love for cats, Kristin and Stephanie advocate for responsible pet ownership, emphasizing ensuring each cat is well-fed and loved, regardless of the number.

Notable Quote:
"Why stop? Why would you stop?"
— Kristin (31:25)

4. Deciding on a New Haircut (Laura’s Question)

Question:
"I need a new haircut. It’s so dull... Should I dye it pink? Should I wear a fringe? Should I shave it all off?"
— Laura

Advice:
They suggest starting with a manageable change, such as adding bangs or changing hair color, to ease into a new look without drastic regret.

Notable Quote:
"Bangs can look really cool."
— Stephanie (35:05)

5. Addressing Misgendering in Public (Sid’s Question)

Question:
"Our baby’s second parent is my wife... What can I say when people misgender her?"
— Sid

Advice:
Stephanie and Kristin emphasize the importance of correcting misconceptions politely but firmly, offering creative responses to ensure respect and acknowledgment of Sid’s wife.

Notable Quote:
"That's my hersband, Sid."
— Kristin (40:43)

Therapy Etiquette Segment

Sponsored by BetterHelp, the episode includes a segment on encouraging loved ones to seek therapy. The hosts provide compassionate strategies for approaching sensitive conversations without judgment.

Notable Quote:
"Frame your encouragement in ways that are empowering, not judgmental."
— Stephanie (23:57)

"Come Back To Me Later" Segment

Addressing social interaction dilemmas, Stephanie and Kristin offer witty and practical responses to real-life scenarios, helping listeners navigate awkward moments with humor and grace.

Listener Request:
"When people assume my partner is a man, what’s a good response to correct them?"
— Sid

Suggested Response:
Stephanie jokes about misgendering in return, while Kristin proposes creative alternatives like saying, "That's my hersband, Sid."

Behind the Scenes and Personal Updates

Towards the end, Kristin shares updates about her performances at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and the Largo in Los Angeles, offering fans a glimpse into her creative endeavors.

Notable Quote:
"Happy to be here again."
— Kristin (41:57)

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with acknowledgments of sponsors, production team, and upcoming events, leaving listeners with a sense of warmth and anticipation for future episodes.

Key Takeaways

• Embrace Imperfections: Recognizing and accepting that minor annoyances in relationships may signal deeper incompatibilities.
• Self-Care is Crucial: Managing stress, especially in parenting, requires intentional self-care and possibly professional support.
• Celebrate Your Passions: Whether it’s owning multiple cats or seeking a new hairstyle, embracing what brings joy is essential.
• Effective Communication: Addressing misunderstandings about one’s identity with confidence and creativity fosters respect and understanding.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "When you really love someone, those things don't bother you." — Kristin (18:21)
• "It's an invitation to go, 'Oh, I need alone time.'" — Kristin (27:01)
• "Why stop? Why would you stop?" — Kristin (31:25)
• "Bangs can look really cool." — Stephanie (35:05)
• "That's my hersband, Sid." — Kristin (40:43)

Final Thoughts

This encore episode of Don't Ask Tig offers a blend of humor, heartfelt stories, and practical advice, showcasing the dynamic and authentic relationship between Stephanie and Kristin. Whether navigating family mishaps or offering guidance on personal issues, their candid conversations provide a relatable and entertaining experience for listeners.

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