Podcast Summary: "Don't Ask Tig" – [Encore] Stephen Colbert
Release Date: December 11, 2024
Host: Tig Notaro
Guest: Stephen Colbert
Produced by: American Public Media

Introduction

In this special holiday encore episode of "Don't Ask Tig," Tig Notaro welcomes none other than the renowned comedian and television host, Stephen Colbert. The episode promises a blend of humor, heartfelt conversation, and unique advice, staying true to the podcast's premise of tackling life's myriad challenges with Tig's inexpert guidance, complemented by expert insights and celebrity guests.

Casual Chit-Chat and Personal Anecdotes (00:00 – 12:33)

The episode kicks off with Tig Notaro setting the stage for the encore presentation, warmly introducing Stephen Colbert as a special guest for the holiday episode.

Highlight Quotes:

• Tig Notaro (00:27): "I have a heart out in five minutes, Stephen."
• Stephen Colbert (01:53): "I am very excited. I am so happy to be on your podcast. I really am."

Tig shares her excitement about hosting Stephen, reminiscing about their first meeting on the train ride back from Washington D.C. Stephen recounts the memorable journey, highlighting their shared moments, including watching his son's open mic performance together.

Notable Interaction:

• Stephen Colbert (03:19 – 04:00): Describes the electrifying experience of meeting Tig on the empty train car and their ensuing conversation.
• Tig Notaro (05:00 – 05:06): "And I'm a bit of a germaphobe. And it really cemented how fond of you I was."

The duo delves into light-hearted banter about holiday traditions, personal anecdotes about their families, and humorous exchanges about their experiences, such as Stephen's reflections on hosting a large Thanksgiving gathering and Tig's playful interactions with Stephen.

Listener Questions and Holiday Advice (12:33 – 20:02)

Transitioning into the core segment, Tig introduces listener questions aimed at tackling holiday dilemmas. The first question from Rochelle addresses the challenge of hosting Thanksgiving with family members who have become difficult post-COVID.

Rochelle’s Question (12:59): "Hey, Tig, I don't know what to do about the holidays. Our family is great, but they're a little angry and bitter and Covid has just made them a little bit unbearable. We usually host Thanksgiving in our house, and they're not the funnest people to be around right now. I don't know what to do. Do we change our plans? Do we still host Thanksgiving? I have no idea. Help."

Advice Provided:

• Tig Notaro (13:44 – 14:30): Suggests using COVID as a safe excuse to alter holiday plans, emphasizing the importance of celebrating in ways that prioritize personal well-being.

  • "Because of COVID, you're going to spend this year apart. And I think that whether it's this year or any other year, I feel like it's important to allow yourself times and holidays and celebrations where you really can celebrate and you don't always have to bring in your family or your friends."

• Stephen Colbert (14:30 – 15:18): Recommends maintaining holiday traditions virtually, such as Zooming in for parts of the celebration and focusing on the culinary aspects.

  • "Let's maybe we zoom in for cocktails at the beginning or whatever you do beforehand, like the cooking and what are you having? And, oh, that pie looks fantastic, and you have the best gravy."

Their collaborative advice offers practical solutions for maintaining holiday spirit while navigating familial tensions, blending Tig's straightforward approach with Stephen's creative suggestions.

"I Don't Gift a Shit" Game: Rapid-Fire Gift Suggestions (23:07 – 27:43)

In a playful and humorous segment, Tig and Stephen engage in the "I Don't Gift a Shit" game, where they provide quick gift ideas based on listeners' profiles. Each listener submits their name, age, and a unique interest, prompting Tig and Stephen to come up with offbeat and comedic gift suggestions.

Examples:

1. Randall (75) – Only Eats Cereal from One Bowl (24:02 – 25:00):

   • Stephen Colbert: "A gift certificate to one of those paint your own pottery places and he can make his own bowl."

2. Alex (26) – Music Teacher and Tuba Player (24:19 – 24:42):

   • Stephen Colbert: "A euphonium, which is like a tuba, but it's smaller and not as loud, but the same. It has the same fingering, if you'll pardon the expression."

3. Stella (4) – Wants to Marry the Color Pink (24:47 – 25:00):

   • Stephen Colbert: Suggests a cotton candy machine tailored for children, adding a nostalgic touch with his own childhood experience.

4. AJ (65) – Gets Hurt Doing Activities He's Too Old For (25:58 – 27:43):

   • Tig Notaro: Recommends a three-wheel bike with big wheels and a basket.
   • Stephen Colbert: Proposes a fan boat for low-impact water fun, leading to a humorous exchange about water skiing in gator-infested swamps.

This segment showcases the hosts' quick wit and chemistry, providing entertainment while playfully addressing the challenge of finding the "perfect" gift.

Final Heartfelt Advice: Navigating Difficult Holidays (32:09 – 37:19)

As the episode progresses, Tig and Stephen address more profound listener concerns. A poignant question from Regan touches on the overwhelming nature of Christmas festivities and the desire to find a balance between sharing love and avoiding burnout.

Regan’s Question (28:24): "Regan writes, soon I will succumb to what I've begun to refer to as the Christmas crazies. And just because you can't see this, I want to let you know Christmas and crazies are spelled with K's. That's how nutso. Okay. Each year it gets a little worse. Last year I made a gift list in October with mostly handmade gifts. I spent a lot of time and money trying to recreate the lovely spirit I felt as a child. On the outset, I still felt a little empty and pretty exhausted. This year I want a different approach. How do I share love and warmth and special seasonal spirit without spreading myself so thin?"

Advice Provided:

• Stephen Colbert (29:16 – 30:04): Encourages simplicity by suggesting heartfelt letters instead of elaborate gifts, attaching small treats, or making charitable donations.

  • "Maybe instead of like trying to recreate like handmade gifts or everything, why don't you write a letter to the people that you're giving? You would be killing yourself to make these presents for."

• Tig Notaro (30:18 – 31:05): Supports Stephen's suggestions, encouraging Regan to personalize her approach to the holidays.

  • "Maybe if you do write the letter, sign the letter saying, watch out for gators this Christmas."

The hosts' compassionate dialogue emphasizes the importance of meaningful connections over materialism, providing listeners with relatable and actionable advice for maintaining holiday joy without personal exhaustion.

Closing Thoughts and Acknowledgements (37:19 – 40:38)

As the episode nears its end, Tig and Stephen share closing remarks that blend humor with genuine empathy. They acknowledge that while the holidays can be joyous, they can also be challenging for many, especially those dealing with loss or loneliness.

Key Points:

• Stephen Colbert (33:36 – 35:46): Offers a heartfelt message about not being alone and finding hope amidst sadness, touching upon personal experiences with tragedy and the enduring beauty of life.

  • "Don't lose hope. There is something on the other side of it."

• Tig Notaro (35:46 – 36:38): Echoes Stephen's sentiments, emphasizing trust in life through its unpredictable journeys.

  • "I have really tried in the hardest and darkest moments to trust. Like you're saying that there is something more, there is something better."

Their exchange provides solace and encouragement to listeners who may be facing difficult times during the holidays, reinforcing the podcast's supportive and inclusive ethos.

Final Interactions:

• Humorous Banter: They continue to blend light-hearted jokes with sincere conversations, maintaining the podcast's signature balance between humor and heart.
  • Stephen Colbert (36:38 – 37:19): Engages in playful dialogue about religious references and cotton candy, adding levity to the closing moments.

The episode concludes with acknowledgments to the production team and a brief promotion for Tig and Cheryl’s new podcast, "Tig and Cheryl True Story," ensuring a smooth transition out of the main content.

Conclusion

This encore episode of "Don't Ask Tig" featuring Stephen Colbert masterfully combines humor, personal anecdotes, and heartfelt advice, providing listeners with both entertainment and meaningful insights. Whether navigating familial challenges during the holidays or seeking the perfect gift, Tig and Stephen offer relatable and practical guidance, all the while reinforcing the podcast's supportive community spirit.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• Tig Notaro (00:27): "I have a heart out in five minutes, Stephen."
• Stephen Colbert (01:53): "I am very excited. I am so happy to be on your podcast. I really am."
• Stephen Colbert (14:30): "Let's maybe we zoom in for cocktails at the beginning or whatever you do beforehand..."
• Stephen Colbert (29:16): "Maybe instead of like trying to recreate like handmade gifts..."
• Stephen Colbert (33:36): "Don't lose hope. There is something on the other side of it."

Listeners who enjoy engaging conversations that blend humor with genuine support will find this episode both entertaining and uplifting, embodying the essence of "Don't Ask Tig."