Don't Cut Your Own Bangs with Danielle Ireland
Episode: If You’ve Been Feeling Overwhelmed, This Will Help You Feel Less Alone
Air Date: March 23, 2026

Episode Overview

In this heartening episode, therapist and author Danielle Ireland welcomes Sarah Harker, Chief Growth Officer of City Moms, for a candid, joy-filled conversation about motherhood, burnout, workplace transitions, and the power of genuine connection. The episode explores how relationships and curiosity can lead to unexpected new chapters, recounts City Moms' growth from a local group to a national community, and offers practical (and deeply honest) advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed or isolated.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Serendipitous Connection

[00:00–08:00]

• Sarah recounts meeting City Moms founder Janine Bodmeier at a dinner party, bonding over wearing the same Anthropologie dress.
  • "Anytime I think that someone is too busy, God's laughing...it ends up being like a deep relationship going forward in my life. Of course, they need you in their life." (Sarah, 07:48)
• The duo discuss the myth of the 'highlight reel'—how people we admire often feel just as isolated or vulnerable as we do.

2. The Vulnerability and Courage in Career Transitions

[10:11–19:29]

• Sarah describes her decade-long nursing career—especially the shift from enjoying patient care to realizing her true joy was in supporting her colleagues.
• The relentless pace and admin creep in healthcare made her question whether it was "still right" for her.
  • “Nobody goes into medicine or nursing to check the box. Like, you have to have at least a heart.” (Sarah, 13:35)
• She credits her mom's example in nursing administration as "Sherry’s school of hard knocks" for leadership wisdom.
• Discusses how seeing a coach, prompted by curiosity and exhaustion, was pivotal: "I felt like I had never really met anyone that did that… I didn't ever really explore that part [risk-taking] until after I met Erin." (Sarah on Erin Bridgman, 19:19)

3. Origins and Expansion of City Moms

[21:25–29:07]

• Sarah originally didn’t seek community: “I remember saying, ‘I don't need any more friends. I've got enough, and I'm good.’" (21:32)
• City Moms described as a national lifestyle media company—broadcast, editorial, and social media—helping brands reach moms across 14+ markets.
• The primary challenge they address? Overwhelm and decision fatigue:
  • “Anything we can do to help share the weight of that mental load. And I think there’s just a me too of we’re in this together.” (Sarah, 25:28)
• Their vibe: authentic, comforting, zero pretension. Danielle observes, “City Moms feels like the counter to that [endless optimization]." (26:36)

4. What Makes City Moms Different

[27:07–30:49]

• Danielle and Sarah highlight City Moms’ accessible, community-first approach and their standout work in media and partnerships.
• The ‘cooler older sister’ metaphor:
  • “City Mom is really the cooler older sister of your best friend... always reaching out to the next wave of moms.” (Sarah quoting Janine, 29:02)

5. On Strengths, Connection, and Abundance

[29:44–33:49]

• Sarah claims her superpowers are fun, risk-taking, and—crucially—connection:
  • “I am just a natural connector. I think that's my favorite thing in the world is connecting other women to each other… Also, I'm not really afraid of much.” (29:44)
• They discuss the abundance mindset and supporting other women, launching a local business collaboration (“The Local Edit”) to circulate support and elevate small brands.

6. Growth, Delegation, and Mental Load in Motherhood

[37:40–44:42]

• Growth is exciting, but “you don't have to grow alone” is the central message.
• Delegation and support systems: referencing the book Who Not How and the Fair Play card deck as must-have tools for partnership.
  • “The big thing… is, yeah, you can have the really big ideas… but we've got a great team with project management.” (Sarah, 38:58)
• On mental load: Sarah and Danielle share practical strategies for redistributing household and emotional labor:
  • “Literally circle what doesn't have to be you or what do you hate doing, what's not filling you up and what's draining you. It's taking from your capacity in other areas.” (41:51)
• Danielle’s personal story about vacation prep mental load highlights the importance of explicit communication and recurring check-ins.

7. True ‘Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs’ Moments

[45:16–46:43]

• Sarah shares her “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” moment: launching a business to help nurses reduce burnout—only to discover her clients actually needed to leave healthcare for their own wellbeing.
  • “My don’t cut my own bangs moment was definitely thinking, ‘Oh, I’ve got this figured out!’ …Nope, this is a huge issue and many other facets.” (Sarah, 45:58)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Outreach and Friendship:
  • “What you want or what you seek is also seeking you.”
    —Danielle, [08:00]
• On Burnout & Self-Care:
  • “What do I do with that [mental health day] besides, like, spiral and feel like I'm failing?”
    —Danielle, [16:28]
• On Women Taking Risks:
  • “In my brain, growing up, it was like, you go to college, and you get a job that's connected to a paycheck… There was no one in my life that was a risk taker.”
    —Sarah, [19:15]
• On Supporting Each Other:
  • “I'm a firm believer that there's plenty of room for everybody.”
    —Sarah, [32:56]
• On Growth and Teamwork:
  • “You don't have to grow alone… That’s such a lie, especially for women and moms, of ‘I just have to work a little harder.’”
    —Sarah, [39:29]
• On Partnership at Home:
  • “This is not the tool to break up a fight…The point is partnership.”
    —Sarah, discussing the Fair Play deck, [44:53]
• On Reframing Perfection:
  • “Who can we help mentor into that space and make it real, not this striving for perfection, but just be real together?”
    —Sarah, [29:07]
• On Starting Something New:
  • “If Lizzo said, ‘But Beyonce already exists’… Imagine. We would be missing so much.”
    —Sarah, [35:55]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–08:00 — Meeting Janine & Overcoming Assumptions of Busyness
• 10:11–19:29 — Nursing Burnout and the Leap into Coaching/Entrepreneurship
• 21:25–23:11 — City Moms: Origin, Audience, and Mission
• 24:44–26:36 — How City Moms Supports Moms (Mental Load, Overwhelm)
• 29:44–33:49 — Natural Strengths, Connecting Women, and The Local Edit
• 37:40–39:12 — The Realities of Growth and Building a Support System
• 41:13–44:42 — Mental Load, Delegation, and the Fair Play Approach
• 45:16–46:43 — Sarah’s “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” Moment

Tone & Final Takeaways

This episode strikes a cozy, authentic, and gently humorous note, balancing honest explorations of vulnerability and ambition with actionable wisdom. Danielle and Sarah’s conversational rapport feels like a meaningful chat with a therapist-friend—warm, reassuring, and deeply relatable.

Key Takeaway:
You don’t have to figure everything out alone. Building friendships, delegating emotional labor, and seeking community are not just helpful—they’re necessary steps toward sustainable growth and joy.

Resources Mentioned:

• Fair Play Card Deck
• Who Not How (book)
• City Moms (website)

→ For listeners feeling overwhelmed, isolated, or in transition: this episode is a heartfelt affirmation that what you seek is, indeed, also seeking you—and it’s okay to reach out for help and connection.