"Magic saved my life," with John Kippen: a tumor, a trickster and TRUE healing

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Magic Saved My Life" with John Kippen

Episode Title: "Magic Saved My Life," with John Kippen: a tumor, a trickster and TRUE healing
Host: Danielle Ireland
Release Date: July 28, 2025
Podcast: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

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Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, host Danielle Ireland welcomes John Kippen, a multi-hyphenate professional whose life journey intertwines resilience, magic, and healing. John shares his profound story of overcoming a life-threatening tumor and how magic became a transformative tool in his healing process.

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John Kippen's Backstory and Tumor Diagnosis

John begins by recounting his early life in Los Angeles, growing up in a loving, middle-class family with a passion for theater. His creative spirit led him to study theater in college and later launch a successful IT company, showcasing his knack for creative problem-solving.

In June 2002, at the age of 33, John's life took a dramatic turn when he was diagnosed with a 4.5-centimeter acoustic neuroma—a brain tumor threatening his brainstem. This daunting diagnosis not only posed a severe health risk but also threatened to alter his quality of life.

“If John can do it, you can do it.”
— Danielle Ireland [02:45]

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Surgery and Recovery

Faced with the urgent need for surgery, John describes the harrowing experience of receiving his diagnosis from a surgeon with little bedside manner. The imminent surgery required him to confront the possibility of losing his hearing and facial mobility.

The operation, lasting 15 hours, was initially successful in removing the tumor. However, complications arose shortly after his discharge when he experienced a spinal fluid leak, necessitating multiple hospital revisits.

“I got rid of all the mirrors in my house. I didn't want a constant reminder.”
— John Kippen [16:54]

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Coping with Facial Paralysis

Post-surgery, John grappled with facial paralysis—a visible and constant reminder of his ordeal. This physical change deeply affected his self-image and interactions with others. Sharing his vulnerability became a crucial part of his healing journey.

“You are the love you're seeking.”
— Danielle Ireland [49:33]

John recounts an emotional moment at a restaurant where a young boy innocently questioned his appearance. This encounter highlighted the power of honesty and compassion in overcoming personal insecurities.

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Transition to Magic and Performance

To cope with his new reality, John turned to magic as both a coping mechanism and a means of connection. Performing at the Magic Castle in Los Angeles, he used his magic as a metaphor for transforming personal challenges into opportunities for growth and healing.

“Magic happens in your mind.”
— John Kippen [31:13]

His performances became a platform to share his story, bridging the gap between his internal struggles and external interactions. Magic became a tool to engage audiences, foster connections, and inspire others facing their own battles.

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The Intersection of Healing and Magic

John seamlessly blends his experience with magic, illustrating how both require presence, creativity, and the ability to transform perceptions. His performances are not just about illusions but about demonstrating the possibility of change and healing.

“Different is your superpower.”
— John Kippen [34:18]

Through magic, John invites audiences to see beyond limitations, encouraging them to embrace their unique strengths and overcome their fears.

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Coaching and Helping Others Heal

Leveraging his personal journey, John established himself as a resilience and empowerment coach. He guides clients in recognizing and overcoming their limiting beliefs, fostering self-acceptance, and unlocking their potential.

“Joy comes from helping others get that realization.”
— John Kippen [40:55]

John emphasizes the importance of self-investigation and compassion, both towards oneself and others, as foundational elements of true healing and personal growth.

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Personal Growth and Acceptance

A pivotal moment in John's journey was the acceptance of his new appearance and abilities. By embracing his paralysis and integrating his experiences into his performances, he found joy and self-love, which became central themes in his coaching philosophy.

“Once you accept your new smile, you find joy.”
— John Kippen [48:42]

This acceptance not only facilitated his healing but also empowered him to help others navigate their own paths to self-love and fulfillment.

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Conclusion

In "Magic Saved My Life," John Kippen's narrative is one of profound transformation. From facing a life-threatening illness to redefining his identity through magic and coaching, John exemplifies resilience and the extraordinary capacity for personal rebirth. Through his story, listeners are inspired to confront their fears, embrace their unique selves, and discover the magic within their own lives.

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Notable Quotes:

• “If John can do it, you can do it.”
  — Danielle Ireland [02:45]

• “You are the love you're seeking.”
  — Danielle Ireland [49:33]

• “Magic happens in your mind.”
  — John Kippen [31:13]

• “Different is your superpower.”
  — John Kippen [34:18]

• “Joy comes from helping others get that realization.”
  — John Kippen [40:55]

• “Once you accept your new smile, you find joy.”
  — John Kippen [48:42]

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Exclusive Offer:
Listeners who stay tuned until the end of the episode can access a special free gift from John Kippen by visiting johnkippen.com/freegift. Don’t miss out on this unique opportunity to engage further with John’s transformative work.

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For more insights and inspiring stories, subscribe to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs and explore the journeys of individuals navigating the "messy middle" towards their "before and after" stories.

Transcript

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[Danielle Ireland]

Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are catching an episode of don't cut your own bangs. And today I have the great pleasure of introducing you to someone I can now call a new friend, John Kippen. John is a multi hyphenate. He has had quite a life and he's an excellent storyteller. So this episode, you're gonna wanna buckle up. It is so good. Get those AirPods in, go on your walk, get safely in your car, get ready to listen because this is just an absolutely beautiful episode. But let me tell you a little bit about John. John is a resilience and empowerment coach. He was and is the CEO of a very successful IT company. He was a main stage performer at the Magic Castle in Los Angeles. So if that just gives you a little insight is the level of his magic. He is a motivational speaker, he's a life coach, and he has a TED Talk that has received over a million views. And the heartbeat of this TED Talk is how he triumphs over tragedy with a diagnosis of a tumor the size of a golf ball that is separating his brainstem. And the procedure he needed to save his life changed his life forever. Doing the work of healing does not come easily to anyone, but as John so beautifully puts in this episode, if John can do it, you can do it. He's using his story, his vulnerable and raw experiences and talking about not only what happened to him, but how he moved through the impossible. He actually coins a phrase that I love and I'm going to keep, which is that impossible really means I'm possible. So the ultimate magic trick, the ultimate illusion, is what your limiting beliefs are about yourself and how do you use facing those fears and those limiting beliefs to transform your life. And in John's case, he takes that healing and offers it as a gift to us as listeners, to his clients and his coaching practice, to the readers of his book. He has Authored a book, the forward by none other than the Jamie Lee Curtis from all of the places you know her, most recently the Bear, where she won an Emmy. But everything, everywhere, all at once, she and John are buds and she believes in him and believes in his work. And as a champion of that work, it just adds a little extra sparkle and fairy dust to the beautiful work that he's already doing. To say that he's been vetted by someone who is so sparkly and magnetic and also deeply entrenched in holding space for the truth and honoring the truth. This is a heartfelt episode. So what I would recommend, if you're in a place to do so, is you might want to jot some notes down because John drops some beautiful wisdom nuggets in this episode and the book that he authored is playing the hand you're dealt. And what I want to share too. We talk about it in the episode, but I want to highlight this because it's really important. John is giving everyone who listens to the episode a free gift, but it is not linked in the show notes. It is only available to those of you who listen. It's a special little surprise embedded in the episode that you have to listen to find, but it is a free gift from him to you. So without further ado, get ready to sit back, relax and enjoy the beautiful wisdom of John Kippen. Jon Kippen, multi hyphenate, resilience and empowerment coach, magician, keynote speaker, author and all. Nice guy. Thank you for joining me today on the don't cut your own bangs podcast. Hollywood legend wrote the foreword of his beautiful book, playing the hand you're dealt forward by the one and only take it away, John Curtis. Jamie Lee Curtis. Yes. So you have to stay and listen to the entire episode because he's going to tease out a special little giveaway that will only be revealed in the audio. So you gotta listen. It's not gonna be linked in the show notes, folks. So buckle up, sit down. This is gonna be a great episode with a fun gift for you. A special little dose of magic hidden inside. So, John, you. I mean, all the different fun things that we listed about what you do, you're a magician, you're a motivational speaker, you're a coach. What I know doing the work I do as a therapist is the skills and trade that you're building your life on. Those were skills that they were hard won like nobody chooses. In my opinion and in my experience, no one choose to go into a helping profession that hasn't needed help in their life. It's like the. Our healing becomes our medicine. And I really want to learn about not just what you offer, but your healing journey that put you in the unique position you're in to do the work you do. So welcome and I'd love to hear from you.

[John Kippen]

So just quickly, the reader's digest version of my backstory. Brooke. Los Angeles, Middle class family, two great parents, loving, no sisters or brothers. Had everything I needed. They sent me to a nice school and I got into theater. Started doing theater in college. I studied theater and became the big man on campus because pretty much I grabbed every opportunity that presented itself. Started a computer company out of college because I'm a creative problem solver. That's the thread that goes through everything I do in my life. To problem, I say, how am I going to solve it? And then in June of July of 2002, I was diagnosed with a 4 1/2 centimeter brain tumor called an acoustic neuroma.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yes. And this was. It was slowly severing your brain stem. Correct.

[John Kippen]

It was displacing the brainstem, causing not only hearing issues, but dizziness upon standing or walking. I had to have something done with it. I would not have survived. And it was a whirlwind. I went and saw the doctor who finally diagnosed it after seeing him in the MRI films. And he had no bedside manner. I remember sitting on the examining room table. Right. And the tissue paper is crinkling under my butt. I can feel the. I can sense the temperature. I'm. Heightened sensitivity. Looks at the MRI after talking to a neurosurgeon and he turns around and says, john, you have a 4 1/2 centimeter brain tumor. It's killing you. We're operating you on Friday. You're going to go deaf on your left ear. And there's a possibility for some facial weakness. We're going to do everything we can to prevent that.

[Danielle Ireland]

So he knew. And in his own brash and abrupt way, essentially prepared you for the outcome and challenges that would come. Assuming the surgery was a success.

[John Kippen]

Yeah. He is a world renowned acoustic neuroma surgeon. He's one of the guys you go to when you kind of tumor and that's all he does.

[Danielle Ireland]

Wow.

[John Kippen]

But he literally left the room and I'm sitting there and didn't bring anybody in. And a tip to anyone who's potentially going in for a serious diagnosis.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

Bring a friend or a family member. Because it goes in one ear and out the other. You're in shock.

[Danielle Ireland]

Right? Right.

[John Kippen]

You get home and you say, wait a minute. He said to the surgeon, could it be 4 hours or 14 hours or 20? How long? How long? And you have all these questions.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

You know, getting a hold of the doctor to ask them again is just not the way our medical system works. These back to back to back to back patients. So I checked in the night before, they did blood tests and I tried to get an hour or two sleep. 6am My clockwork. The orderly came in and said, okay, get naked, get on this cold gray sheet over you, and we're going to take you to the operating room.

[Danielle Ireland]

I want to pause your story for a moment because there's a couple things that I want to tease out a little. So one is the way that you tell your story so well, probably because you've told it on stages, you've shared it with others, you've written about it. There is something about a trauma that really marks the sort of bcad of life and the way you shared. I felt like I was in the room with you when you were getting this bomb of news dropped on you. So you were theater trained theater kid, a creative person, a creative problem solver and a business owner. Like I think about that often when people are experiencing trauma. What, what was life? Sort of the illusion of normalcy, the predictability of this is my life and this is my to do list and this is my calendar. So before that moment, you were just a guy on the west coast running a business, is that right?

[John Kippen]

Very successful business.

[Danielle Ireland]

And I just want to share briefly too. I haven't met too many other only children theater background, because that's me too.

[John Kippen]

Oh really?

[Danielle Ireland]

I'm an only child and I was a theater major and started acting when I was 13. So before. But the creative problem solver. God. My theater background has paid dividends in ways I didn't know at the time. I didn't know that when I was preparing for this interview. But now that you've said that, it's like that thing that I couldn't put my finger on has clicked into place.

[John Kippen]

I love doing improv. Is the. You know, everybody talks about being in the moment.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

What does that really mean, being in the moment? When you do improv, you have to be in the moment. Otherwise you fall flat. They're doing improv, looks at you going, well, it's your turn.

[Danielle Ireland]

You'Ve tapped in, now you've got to say something. How are you going to move the story forward? Exactly. I feel most alive when I'm engaged in moments like that. And I'm not a adrenaline junkie, but I would say that's my high. It's the of connecting with somebody like that. So you were running a very successful business. This bomb is dropped. You can barely remember what you were told and what your life is likely going to be. Assuming everything goes well, what is going to happen when you wake up off your. And how long Was your operation?

[John Kippen]

15 hours.

[Danielle Ireland]

And the surgery was a success. They were able to remove the golf ball plate? Yeah. So they removed a false size tumor.

[John Kippen]

I didn't have time to think. You know, I got one of my guys who worked with me, told him that he was going to be running the company for a month or two. He agreed. Had to shovel up some more money to get him to do it. But you know, it is what it is. You do what you have to do.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

And then I just tried to think positively, hope for the best, the worst. You know, I had someone going to stay with me the first week, make food, because I just wanted to recover and I didn't know what it was going to be like.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah, you're like, I just need a week to recover and then I'm just going to hop back into life. Hopefully.

[John Kippen]

Rolling the gurney into the surgical prep. There a nurse saying, hey, John, you know we know we have to shave half your head. You want me to do it now or after you're under?

[Danielle Ireland]

So you didn't even know that they were going to shave your head?

[John Kippen]

Well, I didn't think about it. I mean, if I had thought about it, would that have changed part of my head?

[Danielle Ireland]

Right.

[John Kippen]

I said to her, please.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

And so they rolled me into the operating room. You got these really bright lights blinding you. And you're laying there and they're like, okay, you're going to count back towards five. The next thing I know, I hear faint voices. It was like I was 30 meters deep in the pool, struggling to get to the surface. My way. This look, it was yesterday, literally trying to swim to the surface to regain consciousness. And finally when I got enough, I realized that my dad was sitting on the edge of my bed, holding my hand, smile. But I didn't see my mom. So I asked my dad for my glasses and he handed me my glasses. And I remember trying to look the glasses and then I realized my head's banded.

[Danielle Ireland]

Oh, right.

[John Kippen]

So I had to figure out how to get the glasses and cockeye to get them on my face. And the look on her face was one of horror. What did these butchers do to my son's face? And at that point, I didn't know my face was paralyzed. I have full feeling. I just can't move.

[Danielle Ireland]

So you currently, you still have full feeling in your face. You just lost mobility.

[John Kippen]

So I didn't really understand what that look was.

[Danielle Ireland]

Right. How could you?

[John Kippen]

And then my mom handed me her compact makeup, and I opened it up, and I'm like, holy crap. And then I'm still getting accustomed to. The one thing I noticed is leading into surgery, I was constantly dizzy, and that dizziness was gone.

[Danielle Ireland]

Wow.

[John Kippen]

That was like, oh, my God, what a relief. So the doctor finally made way in, and I was like, so when's my face going to move? And he said, john, we were successful. The tumor's removed. Right. When we were closed the incision, your face stopped moving. But we think said, you have to do the swelling. And once the swelling goes down, your patients start moving again. So I'm like, okay, I can handle that. It's not a permanent thing. I could deal with it. So I'm in the hospital a week, and they're like, when you could do three laps around the hospital floor without a walker, we'll send you home. So that became my goal. I remember getting out of bed and, no, no, no, wait. I said, no. The doctor said that I need to walk three laps around. I want to get the hell out of here. Five days I got home, my dad drove me home, and I sat on my couch and start healing. Check the email here or there. And I was taking lots of naps. And then I called and I touched the back of my neck, and it was wet. It was a spinal fluid leak on the base of the incision. So immediately I called the doctors, all of a sudden said, oh, get your ass back here. And I went back to the hospital three times with them to redo the bandaging to try to prevent the leak.

[Danielle Ireland]

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. You call the hospital? Hey, there's spinal fluid leaking out of my surgical incision. And they're like, yeah, you should get in a car and drive yourself to the hospital.

[John Kippen]

They didn't say how I should get to the hospital.

[Danielle Ireland]

Okay, fair, fair. But that.

[John Kippen]

Okay, wow, that's not good. There was potential for getting spinal meningitis, and from what I understand is one of the most extreme pains out there.

[Danielle Ireland]

Okay.

[John Kippen]

I went back and forth three different times over that week. They tried. It was just right behind my ear, right at the base of the incision. So there was no way that they were going to be able to put a pressure, manage to keep that. And so it could start healing. So they finally said, all right, tomorrow you're going to come in and we're going to do the incision and pull more belly fat out of your belly to fill the hole. And, yeah, this time they used staples and think Frankenstein all the way up. But then I'm like, I was only in the hospital for a day. I did my lab, and I remember getting up and brushing my teeth. I'm looking at the mirror.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

And I got rid of all the mirrors in my house. I didn't want a constant reminder.

[Danielle Ireland]

I. There's so much specificity to what is uniquely your story. But what I have found is when people are able to share elements of their experience, when you go into the specificity of what you experienced, I can see myself in so many elements of your story in my own. Like, when we get in deeper, it becomes somehow more accessible and universal. And in that way, you're not alone. Even though it happened to you. And that detail about your removing the mirrors from your home, it. It brings me to something I really wanted to ask you about. You share by saying. And then also by actually demonstrating in your TED Talk that once you began the healing process of really addressing your depression after your operation, that the story, it led you to magic, literally. And I also think in a more magical way, beyond performing an illusion. I know not to call it a trick. I learned that from Arrested Developments. But there's something you said that I wanted to quote, that it's amazing how accepting kids are of the truth. You open up your TED Talk, which I will link in the show notes so people can see, but that you mentioned that this in a way that your permission and your humor and your honesty, it created levity and lightness for something that would be considered maybe so precious and heavy. And what I want to speak to and open up a question, if that's okay, is I'm curious what your relationship with the truth is, because I think humor, in its highest expression, is allowing us to laugh at something that we see the truth in. And yet it's this razor's edge between laughing at someone or laughing at something versus inviting us to laugh at the human experience that we maybe don't know how to name or express in another way. But I want to know personally for you what your relationship is with the truth and the value of embracing it. And then in your line of work as a coach, where do you see people struggle with it, with the truth is an illusion? Oh, tell me more. That just. That was a zingy response that you popped right out. Please tell me more.

[John Kippen]

Yeah, truth. Everybody has their own truth.

[Danielle Ireland]

Well, there you go.

[John Kippen]

Their own perspective.

[Danielle Ireland]

Uh huh.

[John Kippen]

And the truth is formed out of your limiting beliefs.

[Danielle Ireland]

So the truth is formed out of your limited beliefs.

[John Kippen]

You're limiting beliefs.

[Danielle Ireland]

Limiting beliefs.

[John Kippen]

Okay, I just wanted to take a slight step back. I told you this was going to be the way to his digest. Yes, but it took 12 years to come out of that hiding. 12 years.

[Danielle Ireland]

How old were you when you had your operation?

[John Kippen]

33.

[Danielle Ireland]

33, okay.

[John Kippen]

And fortunately for me, I could work hormone. But I miss so many celebrations with friends and family because I just didn't want to have to explain it. I didn't want to have to deal with the looks. And I tell this story on my TED talk and in my book at a restaurant. I wanted to get a burger at Tony Rama's. I'm sitting there by myself in a booth and there's a booth right in front of me and there's a family with a kid, two parents and a kid. And the kid, squirming, gets up and turns around, is now on his knees on the bench and looking at me. And he gets up and he comes over and he says, mister, what's wrong with your face? And in that moment, I didn't want to have a five or six year old come over and right. And I'm like, okay, I had the strength to come out and go to a restaurant. I have to deal with this. So I started talking to this little boy and saying I had a medical procedure that caused me not to be able to move my face. Before I could continue, his mom grabbed him, drug him back, don't bother him, the nice man, he has enough troubles already. I could leave it there. So I had to go to the little boy and I knelt down and I, I, I said I love my new face because it's different. It's different just like yours. And I remember it like it was yesterday. He took his fingers and he tried to distort his face to be crooked like mine. And he turned to his mom and said, look Matt, I can do that too. And then he went back to eating his meal. His question was answered. He had no judgment and parents were like, holy crap, did we just learn a lesson? Raised our child. They whispered on their.

[Danielle Ireland]

But there is something, there's something to that woman's response to you that really resonated with me. And it also highlights the point you made so well about the essentially the truth being relative because she projected onto you what her perception of your life was don't bother the nice man. One she didn't know you were nice though. You are. But she didn't know that.

[John Kippen]

Right.

[Danielle Ireland]

And she also didn't know what your troubles were or weren't. And she assumed that.

[John Kippen]

But I always wondered what her motives were.

[Danielle Ireland]

Right.

[John Kippen]

Was it to make me go or was it to make her and her son.

[Danielle Ireland]

It was for her. I think so.

[John Kippen]

And that's how I took it.

[Danielle Ireland]

I remember. So I have two children and I was pregnant once before and lost that pregnancy 12 weeks in. And I haven't thought about this in a very long time, but I remember going into a annual doctor's appointment and she saw on the chart that I was listed as pregnant and clearly now was not. And it was in her own discomfort of not. She was asking me about the baby, thinking because she was not my obgyn, it was a different type of doctor. And she caught. Oh. And then I had sort of explained to her what that meant. And then she said, well, I'm sure you blame yourself and I want you to know it's not your fault. Like she took her discomfort and tried to turn it into. She positioned herself above as someone who knew what he was experiencing and wanted to offer me this sympathy. That was one. She was wrong.

[John Kippen]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

I didn't blame myself. And that moment was such an extension of her own inability to hold the moment and the discomfort of the moment and tried to offer it up as a gift for me. Which. That's.

[John Kippen]

Yeah, it's your perception of how you deal with that. Losing a child can be empowering as you know that you can try again and get a child that not going to have any kind of defects. Have a good life, you know, whether or not you believe in God or not.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

Things happen for a reason and we don't just always understand the reason for them.

[Danielle Ireland]

I don't know if it. What the reason was, but I can say a gift from that was that somebody who lived with a very active monkey mind and a lot of head trash and some anxiety in the experience of the early grief. Not for very long, but there was a moment in time where my mind was quiet. Not numb, but quiet. And it helped me realize, oh, there's the observer within me. And then there are the different conversations that are happening in my head that aren't me, which are maybe the perceptions that I call truth. Sometimes I want to bring that same question of truth which you had an answer I was not expecting, which I love when I never see it coming. So thank You. Where do you see your clients? Because you're a coach, right? You are taking your healing and offering it as medicine to people that are trying to make a connection in their own life. So where do you see people that you work with struggle with the truth?

[John Kippen]

Everybody's hiding for some, something in their life. They have buried something so deep, and it keeps them from moving forward in their lives because it erodes their self. And that's what I learned through my love for performing. Going to the Magic Castle, sitting at a table with a paralyzed face.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

I'm this overweight guy with balding. Balding with a paralyzed face. I could sit at a table and have people come to me. I tell this story. Sometimes the Magic Castle is a place where you have to get dressed up to the nines, you know, and women get dressed up, huh?

[Danielle Ireland]

That's true.

[John Kippen]

They're wearing their best outfits, right. And all of a sudden, I'd have five or six women sitting at the table. And their reactions are very guarded. You know, they're sitting there with their legs and arms crossed. They're leaning back, and they have a smile that's more of a grim. Because I know what I'm about.

[Danielle Ireland]

Sure.

[John Kippen]

They don't know if I'm going to be inappropriate, if I'm going to go on to them, if I'm what it is. So they have no explications other than they're going to see some magic. So I start my act saying, hi, guys, my name is John, and I'm doing magic all my Life. But in 2002, I had a brain tumor. And when they cut out my head, they traumatized my facial nerve and some paralyzed faith. But something happened to me on that table that day, Daniel. I'm not sure what it was because I was unconscious. All I know is I recovered. I realized I had acquired some new skill. And I pause. Yeah. And I wait for everybody to get on the edge of their seat.

[Danielle Ireland]

Like, what happened, John?

[John Kippen]

Skills I could acquire from having brain surgery. Look to my right, and I look to my left like it's the biggest secret. Lean in. And I whisper in a loud voice as I am able to visualize people's thought. And then I do some mental magic. Mentalism. And what I just did was I turned my biggest challenge into a soup.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yes, you did. And I want to pause you, because when you said that in your talk. Have you read Elizabeth Gilbert's book, Big Magic?

[John Kippen]

Yes.

[Danielle Ireland]

When she talks about trickster energy, I was like, john Kippen is a freaking trickster. Oh, yeah, that is trickster energy that you can shift before someone's very eyes. It's like you are performing magic and you are performing magic. You shifted before them and you invited them, your audience, to see beyond their own limiting beliefs, their own projected truth.

[John Kippen]

They were distracted. They wanted to know why it was paralyzed with the goodness. Did he have a stroke? Did he have Bell's palsy? What was it? So I found them being distracted when I was performing. So I got that away in the first two minutes. I explained why my face is paralyzed, and now I treat it as the experience is. Now I'm able to do superhuman things, and now they're like, okay, cool. So as I perform, I focus on spectator. Magic happens in your mind as a spectator.

[Danielle Ireland]

Oh, I love that. Magic happens in your mind. If you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to start, or if you've been journaling off and on your whole life, but you're like, I want to take this work deeper. I've got you covered. I've written a journal called A Journal for Unearthing you. It's broken down into seven key areas of your life, filled with stories, sentence stems, prompts, questions, questions, and exercises, all rooted in the work that I do with actual clients in my therapy sessions. I have given these examples to clients in sessions as homework, and they come back with insights that allow us to do such incredible work. This is something you can do in the privacy of your own home, whether you're in therapy or not. It has context, it has guides and hopefully some safety bumpers to help you digging a little deeper feel possible, accessible, and safe. You don't have to do this alone. And there's also a guided, treasured meditation series that accompanies each section in the journal to help ease you into the processing state. So my hope is to help guide you into feeling more secure with the most important relationship in your life, the one between you and you. Hop on over to the show notes and grab your copy today. And now back to the episode.

[John Kippen]

Magic is what you see, your mind or someone else sees in their mind. Magic is that thing that immediately makes you present.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

And your. All of your sensors are now in a heightened state. Whether it's a sunset or a beautiful beach or a beautiful woman or a magic trick or whatever it is, there's sense of awe and wonder. So as I would start to take eat dinner, I would learn their name, and I would use their names throughout the show.

[Danielle Ireland]

People love that. People.

[John Kippen]

The one word in Everybody's language that they love to hear the most, their own name. And so I use that as a way of engaging the audience. And they start leaning in and now they've got real smiles. And I can literally see this wall that women in today's society are forced to put up as a self protection.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

I see this wall as they start to identify with me and they're like, I'm okay being myself. And at the end of this and they're asking permission to hug me. And having a creative mind, I wanted to understand what that is, what that. What was going on.

[Danielle Ireland]

You also, not only through performing magic, inviting the curiosity you could see in other people's faces into your opening act, essentially, or your sleight of hand. I'm going to show you this over here so that you can not see what's coming here. Vulnerability in its purest form is magic because it's the one thing sharing the story you feel like you couldn't share. Letting somebody see the one part of you that you would never let anybody see because you were so utterly convinced you would be outed or you would be cast out. By exposing that vulnerability is the birthplace of true connection.

[John Kippen]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

Which is the ultimate magic trick. It's. It's like what they say in nightmares, if you stop and face the thing that's chasing you, it can't chase you anymore in the dream. And so you spent a decade. Did I remember that correctly? You wanted to be a main stage performer at the Magic Castle. It took you about 10 years and you did it.

[John Kippen]

I did, yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

10 years. Yeah, 10 years.

[John Kippen]

It was my creative coping. I had hit rock bottom. Was I suicidal? No, not really. But I was unhappy. Yeah, I was. My girlfriend left me and fortunately I had a job that I could focus on. But I needed something more. And through sharing something so personal and tying magic into it and making it a positive instead of a negative, people are attracted.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah. Well, because you're holding fire in your hand.

[John Kippen]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

You're not just saying it's possible, but you're living and you're turning it into a performance, which I think for an artist is one of the most selfless, beautiful acts.

[John Kippen]

It's what separates great artists. Play mediocre.

[Danielle Ireland]

I never thought about that with magic. What are they giving me to care about?

[John Kippen]

Yeah. What do I want them to think when they leave? The ability to put your own life gone. Can. So can I. That's my true message. Different is your superpower. No, My facial paralysis does not have to define me. I don't let it. Danielle. I live my life that it's better to ask for forgiveness and permission. And that's hit me in the butt numerous times.

[Danielle Ireland]

I can also say the opposite can bite you in the butt. I think I waited probably too long many times for permission that wasn't really coming because no one can ultimately grant it. Like if there's a path you want to carve like the job that you built, all of the different things that you've done, there's no Resume posted on LinkedIn. No one's like that's an empowerment coach slash magician slash keynote speaker slash documentarian like that. You have to get curious and still and listen to that little voice inside and follow that curiosity to a path that may not make sense for anyone for a really long time. And I didn't do that. And that can bite you in the butt too because regret's hard to hold.

[John Kippen]

Came out on national television to his fans, to the world and said I'm scared. I am fighting the battle of my life and I'm going to ask for everyone's thoughts. Prayers is what I'm going. I reached out to Nikki Alex and I said nikki, I need to perform. We're having a 75th birthday party and the entertainment we want to be the dam.

[Danielle Ireland]

Hell yeah. I will go to his house and perform magic for him restaurant but or.

[John Kippen]

A restaurant unique magic show Jeopardy themes and the whole nine yards. And he was actually at table as one of my assistant daughter so he was this he needed to understand things were genius. And so he was constant looking at me like that's not possible. Just race it, Alex. You're not going to it out. Just enjoy it.

[Danielle Ireland]

That's awesome.

[John Kippen]

And there's on my website john kippen.com there's some magic videos. There are two videos of me performing for Alex. I said alex, I need to share something with you. Is that when you came out so publicly you're done ask for everybody's support and love and prayers that resonate. I am here to give to you. You've been a part of my life, the lives of millions and your life's work is meaningful. And I just wanted to tell you I'm a feeling no one ever takes the time to say for your life immediately started well in it.

[Danielle Ireland]

Well anybody who makes something look easy that we do take for granted. And I think that like I appreciate so much in the telling of your story you share not just the struggles but the time you had a vision of yourself on the main stage performing at the magic Castle, like the most elusive place where magic is. And you didn't just want to get in. You didn't just want to get an audition. You didn't want to just like get to perform an illusion like main stage. You didn't just have a goal, you had the goal and you did it. But you also say that it took you 10 years. And there's usually themes that run with anxiety about not enoughness and the crunchiness of time. There's never enough time. I'm not enough and there's not enough time and not being worthy. Yes, yes, yes. One of my main motivations when I started this podcast originally several years ago was I was starting to increasingly feel trapped in this sort of world of a before and after story. And it was no longer feeling inspirational. It was just another measuring stick for how not enough. Because it's great to see where somebody was and where they are. But when I'm knee deep in my own struggle, when I'm the caterpillar, goo and the chrysalis and I'm not the shiny butterfly, but I'm also not the caterpillar anymore, what do I do when my life is literally a shitty pile of goo? This is something that most clients don't come right out and ask me, like in sessions one, two and three, but it inevitably comes. Well, I've been doing this for so many months. How much longer is it going to take? How long is it going to take? And I just always, I appreciate when people can acknowledge the time and consistency that goes into healing is in the.

[John Kippen]

Journey, not in the destination. And that's something I really focus on my client. I have clients come to me because they're holding themselves back in their life and it's my job to get that out of them by asking open ended questions, by building a rapport. I can trust this guy.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah. Would you say that's your superpower as a coach?

[John Kippen]

Through my journey of reverse engineering who I am and who I wanted to, not the other side, I immediately understood not about me.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yes. It's only true every single time.

[John Kippen]

The joy comes from helping others get that realization. They understand they are truly powerful and have a chance to shake their destiny. That's why I talk about limiting beliefs, how we grow up with our parents or whoever raised us. Those are our belief systems. And so that's what forms who you are. You stop dreaming. That's what midlife crisis is all about. Yeah, we got educated, we got a job, we built a career, we have a family.

[Danielle Ireland]

It's, I think the Version of that I hear in my sessions is essentially, I did everything right. Shouldn't I be feeling better than I am? Like, I followed all the rules. I'm winning. Why does it not feel like I'm winning? And finding our way back to that? The unlearning and the unraveling, that is a. It's a process.

[John Kippen]

I'll talk to a friend. How you doing? And so many people respond, Living the dream. But is it your dream you're living? Whose dream are you living? Because you're wasting your life by living someone else's dream. And that's why you get to that point in life where it's not enough because it's not your dream. You just finished the last 30 years building.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah. The joy really is in the process. And there's no way to enjoy the process of fulfilling the wishes of somebody else. Because you. What you're constantly chasing is, when I get there, then the relief will come. And then you're there and you're like, well, where's my pot of gold?

[John Kippen]

Yeah. I spent 20 years learning how not to hide my face. And what happened In March, in 2020, the pandemic now covering your face with a mask became not only politically correct, but government mandated. And I'm, like, sitting there thinking to myself, what do I do? So I found a company who prints things on mass, and I sent them a picture of my face, a picture of the lower part of my jaw.

[Danielle Ireland]

Trickster energy. John Kippen. Trickster. That's the new hyphen to your list of all of your accomplishments.

[John Kippen]

I would walk around and strangers would look at it, not understand.

[Danielle Ireland]

Right, right.

[John Kippen]

People who knew me would do a double.

[Danielle Ireland]

I will not hide.

[John Kippen]

I use this to hide. It went through a global pandemic.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

I'm gonna live my life my own turn.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah. I work too hard, too long to get free. And I will not hide for you. Wow. Wow.

[John Kippen]

When I share that story, people like John's done some soul searching, which is.

[Danielle Ireland]

Why your clients come to you.

[John Kippen]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah. I. I unfortunately have come across many people in the helping profession that haven't started with their first client, which is themselves. I put myself in that camp. I've talked about it on the podcast before, but I didn't start seeing a therapist until I became one, which is probably not the right order, but I didn't realize until I was sitting there trying to help people. And then my own stuff was getting activated in the session. It's called countertransference. And, yeah, I was like, oh, shit. I gotta look at the mirror. I gotta do a little more digging. But I think what leads a lot of people into helping professions is a desire to heal. And it sounds like in your case, you did the herculean task of lifting your own self up before you said, now what can I offer you? I wanna ask just a purely curious, selfish question before we get to the very end, I wanna ask, in your book, Playing the hand your Delt, how did you connect with Jamie Lee Curtis? The same way you did Alex Trebek. Did you just find someone and you DMed them?

[John Kippen]

And you're like, her assistant worked for a production company in a previous job.

[Danielle Ireland]

Gotcha.

[John Kippen]

I knew Jamie was like, I need some help. My computer. Her assistant said, I've got the guy from you. And I remember being at Jamie's house. She knew me before my facial surgery.

[Danielle Ireland]

And so you have a history that.

[John Kippen]

Oh, yeah, we met in 2000.

[Danielle Ireland]

Okay, okay.

[John Kippen]

So she saw me before she saw the stroke. She has two great kids and she adopted as her third child. She saw the ability to help me. And so I had a filmmaker friend of mine reach out and said, john, I love your story. I want to film a documentary on you. And I'm like, cool. I realized I'm paying for the damn document.

[Danielle Ireland]

Oh. So I want to offer you this gift. And by the way, here's the bill.

[John Kippen]

Yes, exactly. But at that point, I'm all in. And I'm like, what do I have to lose? I'm a risk taker. I can afford it. I've got money in the bank. Let's make sure we stay on budget or close to budget. So there I am working on Jamie's computer, and I'm staring at the screen and I'm summoning the courage. Ask Jamie. So I'm telling her the story. My friend Brian is going to direct this documentary about my life and my journey. Then I pause, and I'm just staring at the screen. Feel these eyes burning into the side of my head. And Jamie says, and.

[Danielle Ireland]

I love that she didn't do it for you, but she made you do it.

[John Kippen]

And then at that point, I realized what the question was. I said, jamie, will you be in my Duncan butter? And she goes, yes, I will. Yeah, she gets it going through her sobriety. She wears her sobriety on her shoulder as a badge of honor. And that is her message.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

If she can get people to stop drinking by showing up for people, that's her ultimate goal in life. And so she saw in me what I didn't see.

[Danielle Ireland]

And you asked the question. I think it's a lesson that I feel like I'm eternally playing a game of peekaboo with, where I forget and then I remember, and then I forget and I remember. But like the opportunities that you're asking for, you have to ask.

[John Kippen]

Yes.

[Danielle Ireland]

You have to say the thing which is so brave and so vulnerable. But then the magic is sometimes when you ask, someone will say yes. Now, in your case, she was essentially lovingly poking you until you asked.

[John Kippen]

There was a point where I was debating plastic surgery. Did I want to try to fix my face? Because at the end of the day, I wanted symmetry. At rest, I wanted to be able to get rid of the droopiness and just have a symmetrical face. That's all I really wanted.

[Danielle Ireland]

Sure.

[John Kippen]

Because I would see. I hate my smile. And I've had friends come up and say, dawn, your first smile. We love your smile. I didn't love myself. And until I, not up here, not in my head, but in my heart, accepted my smile, I couldn't move forward. I couldn't heal. And once I accepted my new smile, I found joy. I found that I could love myself. And what's funny is when get to that point.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

You overcome whatever that thing is that's holding you back.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

And you want to share it with every person you come in contact with.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah. You are the love you're seeking.

[John Kippen]

Yes.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yes.

[John Kippen]

And you are your acceptance.

[Danielle Ireland]

It reminds me of something he said in an interview in A New Earth, but author Eckhart Tolle said that right before his essential death of the. He called it the death of his ego, but we could call it enlightenment or rebirth. But he remembers the last thing he said before he went to sleep was, I can't live with myself anymore. And it wasn't about in the interpretation of taking one's own life. But what he realized is that he couldn't live with the self that was hating him. He couldn't live with that self. And that self never woke up. But he did.

[John Kippen]

Through my journey of coming to accept myself for who I am, immediately see others, how they're hiding before they recognize it. And so my coaching is all about not saying, this is why you're hiding. That's what's holding you back.

[Danielle Ireland]

What you said about once you. You see somebody's wall so clearly because you understand your own so well. My less eloquent way of saying that to clients, it's once you smell bullshit, you can't unsmell it. It's the scent in the air. And you're like, huh, what am I smelling? Oh, it's bullshit. Well, John, I would love to know your don't cut your own bang moment on backstage.

[John Kippen]

There are a thousand people in the office. And I had theatrical training. I had a talk memorized. It had to be 12 minutes long. I'm doing a magic trick with other people that are coming upstage. I needed to control that. I got there early the morning of the TED Talk and helped the guys focus the lights so that it looked better. I'm all in. I want to shine in this TED Talk. I remember I'm going up on stage and I'm saying to the cherry picker operator, can I get a new hand? Because I have lighting experience. And I expected the was enter someone say, no, no, John, you're the actor. Go in your green room and there's some donuts and coffee and we'll call you already. But she did. She knew that I was there to make the entire event better, and she let me do it.

[Danielle Ireland]

That's awesome.

[John Kippen]

This is my first real speech in front of a thousand people. And I knew that I had a limited time to get the audience on my side, to get the audience engaged. How is I going to be able to break their Going through their phone, talking to a neighbor, drinking, eating, snacking in a full day of speech?

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

So I said, I want to go first. And everybody has said, great, but we don't want to. You can go first. And right before the emcee went on stage to introduce me, I turned Monopoly money into real money and then back again. So as a magician, everything was possible. I turned Monopoly into real money. But then I realized that's actually called counterfeiting. For like seven seconds. I did that to the emcee, and now he just saw a miracle happen. So he turns around and walks on stage beaming. And he told that story to the audience and said, hey, guys, your next speaker just did a miracle. He turned Monopoly money into real money in front of my eyes. Pay attention to this cat.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[John Kippen]

So I walked on that stage and I had the love of everybody in the audience. Everybody wanted to see what I was going to do. Everybody wanted to hear what I was going to say. So I didn't have to warm up the audience. I got the MC to do it for me.

[Danielle Ireland]

Genius.

[John Kippen]

And I do that every time I speak because it works. But anyway, three quarters of the speech, I'm standing on my wedge circle and I'm delivering my talk, and the front lights go out.

[Danielle Ireland]

Wait, you were three fourths of the way done.

[John Kippen]

When they went out, I'm standing in shadows. And my first reaction was, whoa. And that whoa got the lighting guy to realize, holy shit, I hit the wrong button. And he brought the lights slowly back up. The lights went back up. I went. And so I got an amazing laugh from the audience because I cut the tension. I was doing improv. I remember walking off stage and the producer of the event said, john, don't worry about. We'll edit that part out. And I said, don't you dare. That was my finest moment. Don't you dare edit that out. I want that in the video. She just smiled as I went back to the room and sat down. And then the adrenaline was like walking out into the audience after the event, coming strangers come up to me and walk on me and holy cow, I resonate with your message. And my message on the TED talk was treat people different with respect to compassion. That's what TED talks are all about. You want one key message, and that was my message. You never know, you might be in their shoes in an instant.

[Danielle Ireland]

I want to add to that another way to speak to the value of doing some self investigation, whether that's through journaling, through therapy, or seeking out a coach from someone like yourself, is because that expression of treat other people the way you would want to be treated. What I know is that we don't treat ourselves all that well. A lot of us, many of us don't treat ourselves well, which is why accessing the compassion of treating others kindly is sometimes harder for us to find. Jumping to criticism or judgment because there's something we're rejecting in us. So I think a way to do the thing you're saying that beautiful. Treat others with kindness and compassion. The best way to do that is to look within. And I invite anybody listening to go to the show notes, visit John's website, seek out a coaching call, grab a copy of his book. There are resources that can help you be kinder to yourself. To lowering the walls, to lifting the veil, to seeing yourself in a new way, to performing the ultimate illusion, which is to love yourself more fully exactly as you are so that we can be kinder to each other because we need that. We need a lot more kindness. Thank you, John. Do we have the information we need for our listeners to get the special code?

[John Kippen]

Johnkippen.com freegift Ooh, you heard it here.

[Danielle Ireland]

Johnkipen.com freegift and this is only the gift for those of you who have listened this far. So if you listened in the beginning and you just tried to skip to the show notes. Sorry you ain't getting a gift. Thank you. John thank you so much for joining me on this incredible episode of don't cut your own bangs. I hope that you love listening because I thoroughly enjoyed making it. My favorite episodes are the ones where I get to learn something too. I'm also a listener and benefiting from the wisdom and insights of all of the experts, creatives, performers, adventurers, seekers that I get an opportunity to meet in this podcast format. Don't forget to check out the show notes and please, before you sign off, always remember, Rate, Review subscribe to the podcast. When you interact with the podcast, it just helps send it out like a rocket ship to other people that are looking for the same value that you are. And it also helps create a conversation where I can continue to develop and cultivate something that benefits you more and is more fun for you to listen to. Feedback is great and also if you just want to throw a compliment, that's sweet too. But thank you so much for being here. Your attention, your time mean the absolute world to me and I hope you continue to have an incredible day.

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