Podcast Summary: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs
Episode: Pain as a Professor: Growing Through Life's Challenges with Ashlyn Thompson
Host: Danielle Ireland
Release Date: June 23, 2025
Introduction
In this poignant episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, host Danielle Ireland welcomes back Ashlyn Thompson, a dedicated advocate and co-founder of the Parent Empowerment Network (formerly Charlotte's Hope Foundation). Danielle highlights Ashlyn's remarkable journey, including her daughter's successful surgery in the UK, and sets the stage for an in-depth conversation about navigating life's challenges with resilience and humor.
Personal Growth and Pain as a Teacher
Ashlyn opens up about her transformative experiences over the past two years, emphasizing the concept of "pain as a professor." She shares how enduring hardships has led to profound personal growth.
Notable Quote:
“Life is meant to grow through, not go through. And that change, that pivot of how I see the next big thing that comes up has been such a grounding force for me.”
[06:39]
Ashlyn reflects on evolving through multiple versions of herself, each shaped by overcoming different challenges. She underscores the importance of embracing change and viewing pain as a temporary state that facilitates growth.
Shifting from Victim Mentality to Empowerment
A significant portion of the conversation delves into the detrimental effects of a victim mentality and the power of shifting towards empowerment. Ashlyn discusses how remaining stuck in victimhood can stifle problem-solving abilities and negatively impact one's child.
Notable Quote:
“When we stay stuck in a victim mentality, our ability to problem solve goes from about here to here.”
[10:03]
She explains that recognizing pain as a universal experience allows parents to connect with each other, fostering a supportive community that transcends individual struggles.
Balancing Work and Self-Care
Danielle and Ashlyn explore the challenges of sustaining and growing a nonprofit organization while managing personal responsibilities. Ashlyn shares insights on the ebb and flow of output, emphasizing that taking pauses does not equate to stopping permanently.
Notable Quote:
“We have allowed ourselves permission to grow and shrink as needed. It has not been a step process.”
[16:42]
They discuss the necessity of balancing expansion with contraction, ensuring that personal well-being is prioritized even amidst the demanding nature of nonprofit work.
Creativity as a Tool for Managing Emotions
The conversation highlights the therapeutic role of creativity in processing emotions. Both Danielle and Ashlyn advocate for creative outlets as a means to transform anxiety and pain into something tangible and healing.
Notable Quote:
“The opposite of anxiety is not calm. It's creativity.”
[45:35]
Ashlyn emphasizes that engaging in creative activities, such as coloring or journaling, can provide a sense of grounding and offer a productive way to channel intense emotions.
"Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" Moments
In the signature segment of the podcast, Danielle and Ashlyn share their "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" moments—instances where they attempted something new or challenging that didn't go as planned. These stories serve as a reminder of the value in embracing mistakes and learning from them.
Danielle's Story: Danielle recounts inviting her husband to record a podcast without proper preparation, leading to an awkward and humbling situation. This experience reinforced the importance of providing clear context and setting expectations to create a safe space for collaboration.
Ashlyn's Story: Ashlyn shares her ongoing journey with her 8-year-old son in therapy, highlighting the challenges and breakthroughs in redefining acceptable emotions. She emphasizes the importance of allowing children to experience a full range of emotions without judgment.
Notable Quote:
“Every emotion he experiences is not a direct reflection of who I am as a parent.”
[58:37]
Conclusion
Danielle and Ashlyn conclude the episode by reiterating the importance of community, self-care, and embracing the messy middle of life's challenges. They encourage listeners to seek support, engage in creative outlets, and view pain as an opportunity for growth.
Final Thoughts: Ashlyn emphasizes that no one should carry their burdens alone, highlighting the role of the Parent Empowerment Network and their podcast in providing a supportive community for parents navigating complex medical issues with their children.
Notable Quote:
“We are not meant to carry pain and hardship and struggle by ourselves. Let's hold it together because it'll be better for everybody.”
[39:40]
Additional Resources
- Parent Empowerment Network: [Link in Show Notes]
- Ashlyn's Podcast: Empowered by Hope
- Danielle's Book: Wrestling a Walrus and the Treasure Journal are available through the show notes.
Join the Conversation:
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Thank you for tuning in, and remember—you're not alone on this journey.