Regulate Your Nervous System, Rewrite Your Story

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Regulate Your Nervous System, Rewrite Your Story"

Podcast: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs
Host: Danielle Ireland
Guest: Marianne Tchaikovsky – Acupuncturist, Chinese Medicine Practitioner, Emotional Well-being Strategist, Coach, Author, Retreat Leader
Date: November 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode explores the daunting “in-between” space of personal growth—where you are now and where you want to be—through an insightful conversation between therapist and host Danielle Ireland and her guest, Marianne Tchaikovsky. Drawing on personal experience and professional expertise, Marianne shares the "Well Being Code," her framework for emotional healing and self-belonging, offering listeners permission to feel big emotions and concrete strategies to move from burnout to authentic radiance. The conversation is grounded, wise, and often humorous, as both women reflect on their journeys of healing, self-compassion, and creating a life aligned with inner wisdom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Background

• Danielle introduces Marianne as a “multi-hyphenate healer”—acupuncturist, coach, Chinese medicine practitioner, and more. Marianne is celebrated for her expertise in nervous system regulation and emotional well-being (01:11).
• Danielle recounts meeting Marianne during a vulnerable period following a miscarriage, describing how her “body was trying to tell me some things I needed to pay attention to” and her gratitude for Marianne’s support (01:40).

2. Emotional Healing & Chinese Medicine

• Marianne explains Chinese face reading as “an ancient branch of Chinese medicine,” emphasizing how facial features map internal emotional and physiological patterns (10:28).
• Danielle and Marianne discuss the interconnectedness of mind, body, and emotions:

  “The more I learn, the more my jaw drops on the floor with connections… emotional experiences or stress… paint a picture of deeper understanding of how all our whole system is interconnected.” – Danielle (12:50)

3. The Well Being Code: Four Pillars

Marianne introduces her signature methodology, “The Well Being Code,” built on four pillars—Regulate, Rewire, Resync, Radiate:

a) Regulate

• Acknowledging and honoring emotions is foundational. Unprocessed feelings are stored physically and can manifest as dis-ease (15:21).

  “An emotion is never wrong. If you do not express an emotion, what happens is it gets trapped in an organ. And that’s where disease starts to take root.” – Marianne (15:21)

b) Rewire

• Empowering clients to notice how thoughts become feelings, feelings become behaviors, and behaviors create outcomes.
• Coaching helps “re-route” self-talk and supports new, more supportive narratives (see also 17:00-19:25).

c) Resync

• Integrating new insights with daily routines, and using practices (like travel or rest) to step outside daily “operating life” and gain perspective.

d) Radiate

• Emerging into the world more visible, confident, and authentic.

  “When they (women) belong to themselves, they can show up in a way that is impactful and reduce the noise of that inner critic.” – Marianne (53:58)

4. The Five Elements and Emotional Expression

• Marianne details the five elements: Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, each connected to organ systems and emotions.
• She identifies Danielle as “primarily a water element”—depth, adaptability, but can slide into fear when stressed—while affirming the healthy expressions (wisdom, courage) that arise from emotional processing (22:18–24:13).

5. Belonging vs. Proving

• Both women reflect on “belonging” versus hustling for approval. Marianne discusses her experience as a biracial woman in a mostly white, small Midwest town and how this led to a lifelong drive to overachieve and seek external validation (26:10).
• Danielle identifies “managing perception to get something from someone else” as a sign of being out of alignment, influenced by Elizabeth Gilbert’s concept of chasing “LAVA” (Love, Approval, Validation, Acceptance) (32:38).

6. Nervous System Regulation

• Both stress the necessity of biological and emotional “regulation” before meaningful change. Danielle shares the HALT tool (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) for self-assessment before taking on tough conversations (35:50).

7. Travel, Retreats & Stepping Outside “Operating Life”

• Marianne shares the role of travel and retreats in personal transformation:

  “You can’t often see the picture when you’re inside the frame. Stepping outside, pausing, pouring back into myself... that’s when I can see what my heart has wanted all along.” – Marianne (39:21)

• Travel offers new cultural perspectives, disrupts routine, and reveals patterns needing to change once home (43:26).
• Marianne explains how experiences like Morocco’s communal culture, France’s midday rest, or even the challenges of unpredictable travel build resilience and adaptability (43:26–46:31).

8. The Power & Pitfalls of Achievement

• Both share personal moments where external achievement masked internal feelings of inadequacy (“hustling for worthiness”) and how belonging to oneself brings truer fulfillment (54:10).

  “When you regulate, rewire, resync and radiate, you stop hustling for belonging and you start belonging to yourself.” – Danielle (61:59)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On emotions as signals:

  “Your emotions are not a problem to fix, but they are signals. They’re invitations, information holding something important for you to know.” – Danielle (61:58)

• On regulating before transforming:

  “We cannot affect change, we cannot affect healing if the person is dysregulated, if they’re stressed out—no way.” – Marianne (34:40)

• On travel as transformation:

  “A week away in a year is a blip. But it helps me come back being a more present mom. Everyone in my treatment room benefits when I come back.” – Marianne (44:00)

• On the loneliness of performing for others:

  “Even when you get all of that... it’s the PR representative that is actually receiving the compliments… it’s a mirage that’s getting the flowers, not you.” – Danielle (55:13)

• On the challenge and necessity of self-belonging:

  “You belong to yourself.” – Marianne (56:10)

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Important Timestamps

• Introduction & Marianne’s Background: 01:01–06:53
• Chinese Face Reading & Body-Emotion Connection: 09:26–13:05
• The Well Being Code Introduction: 15:11–15:21
• Digging Into the Five Elements: 19:25–24:13
• Belonging, Achievement, and Burnout: 26:10–32:38
• Nervous System Regulation, HALT: 35:50–37:17
• Travel/Retreat as Reflection & Healing: 39:21–46:31
• Integrating Adventure & Resilience: 46:31–51:12
• Well Being Code, Radiate: 53:58–54:10
• Visibility & True Self: 56:10–56:13
• Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs (Personal Story): 58:26–61:32
• Closing Reflections & Resources: 61:58–63:37

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Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is tender yet practical, mixing humor, honesty, and actionable wisdom. Both Danielle and Marianne encourage listeners to normalize big feelings, step out of performance-based living, and cultivate a self-nurtuating relationship—using tools from therapy, Chinese medicine, travel, and more. Listeners are reminded that wellbeing is not a destination but a way of being; by regulating emotions, challenging burnout patterns, and intentionally stepping outside of day-to-day life, we rewrite our stories—one compassionate step at a time.

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Resources Mentioned

• Marianne Tchaikovsky’s Well Being Code & Quiz
• Danielle’s "Treasured Journal" and "Wrestling a Walrus" children’s book
• Show notes with links to retreats and coaching offerings

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For those feeling the pull of “the messy middle,” this episode offers validation, language, and new maps for coming home to yourself.

Transcript

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[Danielle Ireland]

Hello hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to don't cut your.

Own bangs the podcast remedy for anytime.

You feel like everyone else has life.

Figured out but you. Spoiler they don't. Today I get to welcome one of.

My o g top 50 all time.

Downloaded guests, Marianne Tchaikovsky. She is a multi hyphenate healer, she's an acupuncturist, Chinese medicine practitioner, emotional well being, strategist, coach, author, and now adding to her resume, a retreat leader.

Basically, if it has to do with the nervous system, emotions and feeling more.

Home in yourself, she's your girl. I first met Marianne and you're going to hear this in the episode, but.

I first met Marianne back at a.

Party and not long after I found myself on her table. I had just recently gone through a miscarriage before I met her and I was deeply burnt out and I was treating my body like a brain taxi.

Just taking me from place to place.

And Marianne was one of the first people who really helped me understand in a deeper level. I thought I knew, but there's only always another layer of understanding. She really helped me see how much I was caring physically and emotionally and how all of that was connected. I believe that healing in this relationship, it's made me a better person, a better partner, a better friend and also a better therapist because it is a.

Little humbling to realize I was doing.

The work that I was doing helping.

Others process their feelings, not realizing how much I was still had very inside of me. But that's okay. That's why we have this community, that's why we're calling people in and that's why it's okay to stay curious, compassionate and open.

There's always more to learn.

This is a judgment free zone.

In this conversation, she shares the next evolution of her work, the well Being Code. There are four pillars to this code regulate, rewire, resync and radiate. In a world that glorifies hustle and constant achievement, Marianne believes that wellbeing is the new gold standard of success. And that's what this episode's all about.

We talk about why emotions are never wrong and and what happens when our.

Body doesn't get to express them. Why many of us are trying to prove we belong instead of trying to belong to ourselves. What does that actually look like? How do we actually do that? We talk about it in this episode. We talk about how travel, rest and stepping outside of your operating life can actually reveal the changes that need to happen when you come home. So not just a mental health day, not just an escape, but using a retreat and mindful travel as a way.

To really tap into what your heart.

Has probably been wanting all your life. If you have ever felt stuck, burnt out, or like you were constantly hustling for worthiness, even when you're doing everything right, this episode is definitely for you.

So take a breath, settle in and.

Get ready to dive into this beautiful and wise and deeply grounded conversation with Marianne Tchaikovsky and the well Being Code.

As we find ourselves in the holiday season season, I've been thinking a lot about meaningful gifts. The kind that help us slow down.

Reflect, connect with ourselves and the people we love.

If you're looking for something special, I've created two resources that come straight from my heart and my therapy practice. The first is called the Treasured Journal. It is a guided reflection tool built.

Around seven key areas of your life, filled with prompts, sentence stem, stories, and.

Space to explore the things that really matter to you.

It's a beautiful way to reset, especially.

As we're heading into our new year. For the little ones in your life, or maybe grown ups who are helping them navigate their emotions, there's also my.

Children'S book, Wrestling a Walrus for little.

People with big Feelings. It is a sweet story about a.

Small penguin, a big obstacle, and the power of meeting our feelings with kindness instead of fear. Both make wonderful holiday gifts with for friends, family or for yourself. Because calm, curiosity and connection are gifts we all deserve. You can find both the Treasure Journal and Wrestling a Walrus in the links in the show notes or on my website danielireland.com.

Marianne Takovsky welcome welcome back to don't cut your own bangs I have to share something fun with you that you are. It was suggested to me back in May when I decided to relaunch this podcast that I should edit my catalog back to my top 50 episodes. And I in the process of doing that, I just want to share. You were in my one of my top 50 when I edit it down. So I and I thought it would be really fun. And when I was sort of reimagining and relaunching the show to have some of my OG top listened guests and you are the second person that I've welcomed back that was in that original top 50 hit list. So I am really excited to have you back because it's, it was beautiful content before, but you've continued to expand and grow and evolve as a person and as a businesswoman and you have some fun new offerings to share with the listeners. So it's great to have you back and I can't wait to share all of your new adventures.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Oh my goodness, how exciting. Thank you for having me back. And I also wanted to say congratulations on your book and also being featured. You know, was it cnn? Where was it Today Today?

[Danielle Ireland]

It was Good morning.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Good Morning America.

[Danielle Ireland]

No, the Today Show.

Sorry.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yeah, it was one of those amazing networks. So yeah, congratulations.

[Danielle Ireland]

It's like when you say my having my children change my life and their names are. That was a great moment. And that moment was. But no, thank you. Yeah, that's. I appreciate that. Thank you so much. Let me just share a fun. So for new listeners who are maybe joining me for the first time or for those who have been joining me for a while but maybe didn't catch Marianne's original episode, just some context of.

How I know you.

So I first became acquainted with you at a bachelorette party, which is a great way to either really make or break fast friends. And luckily we made friendship that it happened there and then over the course of getting to know one another, I had maybe just a few weeks, couple weeks before we had met, I had experienced a miscarriage. And the miscarriage is something I've talked quite a bit about on the show. And so it's something I'm comfortable talking about. But I remember it was I was in a really raw and tender place and also was through that loss and really dialing my focus inward, it became apparent that my body was trying to tell me some things that I needed to pay attention to. It was. And that is in no way my way of saying that loss was my fault. I just didn't realize. I just didn't realize what I was carrying in my body, physically, energetically, how hard I was being on my body. I didn't really even fully understand or have the context for burnout at the time, which I was definitely just constantly managing burnout and fatigue. I had no kids and nothing but this combination of, like, ambition and fear of not being enough. And so that became a lethal, very. What's the word? Like, combustible combination for me of having a lot of ambition, a lot of goals, and a lot of fear that it wasn't going to work. And so I just hustled my way through my 20s and into my early and mid-30s. And then when I wanted to build a family and essentially grow life, I. The body that I had essentially taken for granted, again, by no fault of my own. But it was just. This is the meat suit that was carrying my brain around. And it was around the time that I met you that I was starting to want to tap into a deeper understanding of how can I love myself whole? And in the process of doing that, I worked with you with acupuncture, and you're certified in several healing modalities, which I want you to talk about for a moment. But that's how I came to know you. So it started with me essentially receiving the medicine of your own healing and expertise. And as I began to grow my family, you had your second, and just a beautiful friendship evolved from there. So you're just such a special person for me.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I love our evolution together because we were pregnant together also with our second child. So, yeah, that's special in so many ways. And you actually came to see me first for a Chinese face reading, which is what we talked about on the first episode that you had me on.

[Danielle Ireland]

That's right. That's right. Okay, so can you. So, not that the episode is not about Chinese face reading, but I think if we decided to build out a series of podcasts for you and I to do, we could probably take like, you. You're a yin yoga instructor, an acupuncturist, Chinese herbalist. You're an esthetician, you're a trainer, you're a coach, you're an author. Two times over. You're a speaker. It's just like a hyphenate, multi hyphenate, multi hyphenate. The only thing you don't do is make sourdough bread, which I don't either, but. But, yeah, you're right. Yeah, it's the face reading. Please tell the listeners about Chinese Face reading, Yeah.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

I definitely outsource what's not my wheelhouse, and cooking is one of them, uh, when it comes to. So Chinese face reading, yeah. There's so much depth and richness there, and there's never a dull moment in my life, in my professional development, and a lot of the things that I pursue have a connection to. So with Chinese face reading, it is an ancient branch of Chinese medicine, and I have been practicing since 2010. And one of the first scrolls ever founded in Chinese medicine was a map of a face. And the face has so much diagnostic information, not just physically, but also on a personal level, personal development. So you can see patterns no matter what modality you choose. There's a lot of talk about how we sign contracts or we have agreements before we're even born, about things that we come here to experience and our purpose and our destiny, all of these things. And Chinese face reading talks about your face as a map that delves into that for each individual. And so lines, markings, features, they all tell a story about who you came to be and also where you're headed. And the face is the most dynamic part of the body, meaning, you know, it takes even a microsecond for us to change our expression. So much wisdom can be communicated in a micro expression, in a facial expression, versus, you know, in the body. It takes a long time to see change represented in the body. So I find it fascinating how much the face can tell us so much about what's going on inside. And then there's that element of skin that I just love having people understand. It's such a complex organ, and it shows that what we're experiencing in the external environment, we're also expressing our internal environments simultaneously. So hormones, nutrition, stress, all of that's reflecting on our. On our skin and on our faces.

[Danielle Ireland]

Something else that I felt like I learned. The best lessons bear repeating. And I thought before I started working with you that I had a pretty good understanding of how interconnected the systems.

Of the body were.

But I. Through working with you and later working with a pelvic floor physical therapist, I just. It's like the more I learned, the more. The more like my jaw drops on the floor with connections, emotional experiences I'm having or stress I'm experiencing, or even things that I experienced as a child. You'll notice something about my hairline. You'll notice something about the way that my chin or my jaw and my eyes, like, you'll pull these connections that seem completely. Almost like a constellation just completely far apart. But Actually paints a picture of deeper understanding of how all. How our whole system is interconnected. And that philosophy, I really feel, has come together in such a beautiful way with this new iteration of the work you're putting out now, which is the well being code. So I want to shift gears a little bit. I could keep talking about all the ways I've loved you before, but I want to hear the new songs. I want to. Yeah, I want to hear the new album. What is this? The. The life of a showgirl like? But this is like, Marianne, you are shifting now into being a wellbeing strategist. And you've come up with a code called the well being code. And I want to just touch on those, the four points of that code, and then let you walk us all through them. So it's to regulate, rewire, resync and radiate. And I'm going to quote you to you for a moment that in a world that glorifies hustle and constant achievement, well being is the new gold standard of success. So as someone who has observed your evolution over the last seven years, Ish. I'm curious. That process of evolution, it's like you continue to heal and then share your medicine. Heal and share your medicine. And before telling me about what you offer others, can you tell me a little bit more about what your process has been into evolving into this well being code?

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Oh, gosh, that's. There's a lot there. Do my best to keep it to Snake.

[Danielle Ireland]

It's okay. It's a podcast. You can talk as much as you want.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Well, and one of the things that I want to preface is I'm going to ship this on my website, but emotional well being is what I'm focusing on because there is a physical component, obviously. And being a Chinese medicine practitioner, everything's connected, you know, your physical to your emotional. I think that our society now really needs to hear how emotions, emotional intelligence, the new standard of success when it comes to well being. Because when we can regulate our emotions, and that's one of the things I love about your podcast, is making big feelings feel normal, normalizing that it's okay to feel. I grew up in a generation where I was told it's not okay to express your emotions. Don't cry, don't be mean, don't get angry. There's a lot of suppression in Gen X, and I think even elderly millennials, definitely boomers. And so for me, as a Chinese medicine practitioner, I understand if you do not express an emotion, what happens is it gets trapped in an organ. And that's where dis ease starts to take root. So an emotion is never wrong. And I tell people that come to me for acupuncture. There's so many directions that people can take when they're practicing this medicine. And over the years, I've had people, yeah, talk to me about their skin woes. I've had some fertility, I've had some pain, some stress, a lot of stress, actually. Some migraines, hormonal imbalances. At the end of the day, the constant stream I've had on my table are people sharing their emotional challenges that lead to stress. So I didn't want to go back to school to learn about therapy. I really wanted to help people pull and move forward. And so what ended up happening from there was pursuing coaching. I wanted to be able to ask the most potent questions that were just as impactful as an acupuncture needle to unravel what, you know was expressed as stagnation or feeling stuck to help that person understand intrinsically. Oh, okay, I'm connecting the dots here. Now the way that I'm seeing this, the way I'm thinking about it, is creating a feeling. And that feeling is creating a behavior, and that behavior is creating an outcome. And so that was my way of helping empower people beyond the treatment on my table by helping them to start rewiring, just changing how they're talking to themselves by what they're thinking and feeling. And going back to this well being code, I realized that after having so many people share their woes and share their challenges, I wanted to equip them with healthy ways of expressing their emotions and processing. Because an emotion, I always say it's energy in motion. And so there's, it's a signal. Feelings are flags, and we've talked about triggers are teachers. So when you feel something, you know, it's an alert. Maybe healthy, it may, maybe not. We need to listen though. And when we listen, then we can start to explore and process in a healthy expression. And in the Chinese elemental system, there's five elements, and each of those elements correspond to an organ. And each organ governs an emotion. And there's a healthy expression and an unhealthy expression. So over the years of watching this play out in different archetypes and people have constitutional archetypes, let's talk about mind.

[Danielle Ireland]

Let's, rather than get overly conceptual, we can needle in because we've talked about mind stuff a bunch and yes, please.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Stop me because I can keep talking about this all day. Long.

[Danielle Ireland]

No, no, I want this. Okay. There's five elements, and each element is corresponded to an organ, and that organ is corresponding to an emotion. So my element is water. Am I right? I always have to ask you.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yeah, yeah. So there's. So Chinese medicine is found by the Taoist Confucianists and Buddhists. And Taoists, they were philosophers who would watch nature and watch patterns in nature. And so they created this whole study system of correspondences, which, in essence, what they determined was patterns in nature are also reflections of patterns that we experience internally. And so they came up with five elements, and those five elements are water, wood, fire, earth, and metal. Now, we all have an expression of each of these. It's just at varying degrees.

[Danielle Ireland]

Okay.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Working with you over the years, it's been very apparent in your personality and also in your constitution whenever I do diagnostics. And that's very subtle because while I'm talking to you, I'm also assessing, but I don't make that a big thing.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah, she's got the terminator. Like scanning. Scanning, yeah.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

And we will take pulses if there's an acupuncture treatment or read tongues. Tongue takes a lot of time to change, so usually I only do that once or twice.

[Danielle Ireland]

This is a little tidbit I got from Marianne that blew me away. One of the first times I ever started working with her for acupuncture. I was sighing a lot, and I didn't even realize I was sighing a lot. And you asked if I was experiencing a lot of frustration, and I was, but I just remember thinking, moonwitch. How did you know? And sighing wasn't the only thing, but it was the thing you noticed first. And then as you started to ask me a series of questions, I was like, yes, yes. And that, too. And you're like, yeah, it seems like you're holding onto these emotions. And then I was just, like, holding on to these. But that recognition is so powerful. The first pillar of your emotional wellbeing code is regulate. And that cannot happen until it's acknowledged. That's. It's acknowledging that our emotions exist, that our experience is happening, that we are what we are without trying to talk ourselves into or out of something. That's always my baseline. And so I wasn't even aware of the frustration I was holding. As self aware as I like to think I am, as smart as I like to think I am, you can't outthink emotions. And it's sometimes hard to catch. But. Okay. So you mentioned the elements. I'm gonna see if I can remember there's water, there's fire, there's wood, there's earth and metal.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Very good. Yes.

[Danielle Ireland]

I got a gold star.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yes. Gold star, yeah. With the work that we've done over the years, you present primarily as a water element and water. If you think about the nature of water, if you look at the ocean, it's very calm on the surface and there's a lot of depth.

[Danielle Ireland]

So.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

So things are a lot more deep than they seem. So with you, there's so much richness and depth below, even what you just see upon first meeting you. Water is also about peace and being in the flow. It's just expansive. And water can also form to different containers. So there's a lot of flexibility and adaptability. And also there's expressions of water that can be deficient or stagnant. Whenever people do have a certain element and then they are in a state of stress, an unhealthy expression of water would be fear. And think about the ocean too. A lot of times it can be really scary because of the unknown. There's so much underneath the surface that we don't know. And so it can be very daunting. It can also be just. It could be dark in terms of just not knowing. A lot of unknown is the nature of water. And then there's the healthy expression of fear, which is wisdom and courage. So when people are tapping into their fear, a lot of times what I help them to transition to is trusting and knowing there's an inner wisdom that they can access and encourage that's going to help them get through whatever fear they're facing.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah, I love that. All the information, all the training, the certificates that you hold, that information is filtered in through your experience. But also, you're just such a curious person and you in a lot of ways are like an emotional detective. You're like, how does this connect to this and this connect to this? And how does this impact this? And that's definitely a strength and a level of mastery you have is making those connections. I want to understand a little bit more. There's so many things that we don't always get to talk about. And I was really taken by the about page on your website, which is linked in the show notes. I invite everybody to go visit. There's a quiz you can take to assess how you are with your emotional well being code. But you wrote that your story. As a biracial girl in a small Midwestern town, you learned early to prove your worth by pushing harder and doing more. And you Tied your value to achievement and appearance until it ultimately led to exhaustion, burnout and a deep sense of not enough. What you are saying you want to help transform in others you you named that was your experience and with respect to as much as you feel comfortable sharing what were some of those early breakdown breakthrough moments where you realize for example the my my miscarriage was one but there are also many that have been as profound though the maybe the grief was carried different. It doesn't have to be quite such a loss for it to have a massive impact. But I know that when people want to do great things in the world, they earned their stars and stripes somewhere. And I would love to know more of what was an experience like that for you where you realized I'm burnt out, I'm exhausted, I'm trying too hard to prove something to someone. What was that?

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Oh my gosh, there's so many. This lesson has taken some time and again I connect it to being in a generation where I was raised to be hyper independent, to take care of myself and to just do it all myself. That's a big swan song of Gen Xers. I'm not sure if a lot of people understand in that gen in our in Gen X generation biracial. It's a tricky experience because a lot of times I walk into a room and there weren't boxes that I could check, multiply. I had to choose one on any identifier. I couldn't say I'm Asian Pacific Islander and also Caucasian. You know, my father was a Heinz 57 Caucasian, my mother was Filipina. So there's a mixture there. So I'm happy to hear just talking to younger generations that things are shifting where it's being celebrated more to be biracial. I think for me, that constant question of belonging, like where do I belong? Has definitely rocked my foundation. And at the same time I feel like, okay, it's made me adaptable and a chameleon. Like I can flex and flow in any environment. And I actually look at being biracial as an experience of being a bridge, which is why it's an identifier for me to be this person who always likes to connect things because I'm connecting cultures and connecting societies and connecting continents even. That's one thing that really used to tax me a lot. Just that constant ooh, where do I fit in here and where do I belong? And never feeling I had my footing and that was exhausting to have that subconscious loop running constantly and then the overachievement that was Another thing, I have to prove that I belong by being productive and accomplishing, hence all the certificates. Now I even take a program like, do I even need the certificate? I'm not trying to prove anything anymore. It's more of like, I just want to know this. I like to learn, be a lifelong learner. But before, it was definitely like, I need to show I need to get certified for me to express that I know enough or that I'm competent. So that drive really was exhausting as well, because it was, as you mentioned before, going into burnout from hustle and grind. Same thing. So that was exhausting.

[Danielle Ireland]

Well, there was a couple things you just said that I want to tease out a little bit. And it led me to a question that wasn't fully formed before I started, but I think I'm getting a better sense of it now that if we took any one quality, the desire to belong, the desire to build community, the desire to follow our curiosity to grow, to evolve. And then this is probably something. The question's probably not clear because this is definitely a journey I'm actively still on too. But through the truth of your experience, there's so much I feel like I can relate to, even though our experiences of being raised and where we came from and what that journey was are different. But I can feel that sense of not belonging and wanting so badly to fit in that. That fear that I didn't belong would often manifest in me either walling up and. Or either almost walking in defensive in social situations expecting to be judged, maybe coming off a little more curt or a little bit more puffed up. I had to almost toughen myself up. I don't care what these people think about me, which is the absolute opposite. The absolute opposite was true. Or on the flip side, it would also sometimes bring out. This is a personality I haven't actually brought into a social situation in quite some time. But my dancing monkey. I'm just gonna make jokes and make everybody smile and laugh so nobody knows how uncomfortable I am right now. Those expressions were rooted in a very small place in me of not feeling enough. And I can also so deeply relate to the wanting to prove through achievement that fuel of. I don't want anybody to know that I don't belong here. So I'm going to work my butt off to make sure everybody knows that I do. But what I realized that that's grasping for approval outside of me, which is never in my control, never was in my control. But what I can understand now is the desire to belong or the Desire to grow. There's also a healthy expression of that, too. And the only way I've made sense of that today, and then I'm going to hand it over to you, and I want to hear more of your thoughts on this. But the only way I found to make sense of none of those qualities or none of those truisms of mine are anything to judge or anything to fix. But it's the intention that's motivating the action that lets me know pretty quickly how it's serving me or not serving me. If it has anything to do with trying to manage perception to get something from someone else. I think Elizabeth Gilbert called it lava Love, approval, validation, and acceptance. If I'm trying to contort myself or inflate myself or project myself to get you to think something about me, I'm probably not grounded. I'm probably not coming from my highest and best self. And the result is going to take a toll because I'm performing. But for you, this is the very work. In hundreds of conversations you and I have had over the years where you're in your own way, through your own zone of genius, helping clients helped me. And now, like, you've walked yourself through these steps. How do you know what the difference is in your body between, I'm taking the certification because I really want to know, not because I'm trying to hustle, improve, or I want to take on writing another book. You've written two books? No, three books.

Two books, yeah.

Two books, yeah.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

So, yeah, take it away. Take it away.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Marianne, It's a great question, and I just want to. Claire, go back to something regards to the sense of belonging, because, you know, I'm. I'm talking about ego identifiers, which are, you'll hear in some spiritual circles, let go of your ego. Release your ego. I really do think that we have to address the 3D. It's like, name it to tame it. You mentioned that a little bit. If you don't acknowledge it, then your brain, your prefrontal cortex, is going to just constantly be in that place of. I don't know. I don't know, like actually naming, oh, this person is female or male, this person is Generation X or Boomer, this person is Christian or not. Having a sense of that intersectionality is important because you can understand the lens that people go through and walk through in the world. And everybody, no matter what the lens is, goes through some kind of question of love, safety, and belonging. We all want that, no matter how we represent. And so for me, Walking around the planet and I'm just talking about my filter. It was a constant question of how do I belong? How do I belong? That constant question had me in nervous system dysregulation because I never felt like I belonged. So I just automatically walked into rooms with that assumption, with that conditioning, with that question. And so I was never feeling grounded. And so it was coming from that place of ego that was not addressed, not tamed, not not acknowledged. It's the same thing with certifications now. I've just finished a master life coach certification program, and I'm so proud of myself for doing this because a lot of it involved intuition and this emotional intelligence piece. And at the end of the day, I told myself from one of the trainings, the big question that was in the program a lot of people were asking is, how do you know if you're a master life coach? And some people think, you know, life coach, how do they know more than I do? And for me, I think a coach is someone who can maybe is two steps ahead and can show you a different perspective or stretch you or support you or keep you accountable to your goal, no matter what nitrogen you're in. And so for me, I want to coach people on, I do coach people on helping them with emotional regulation to get to their goals, to live their best lives, to walk into rooms belonging to themselves. I think that switch was the thing that really helped me to be like, okay, yeah, I'm going to do the work to get the certification and follow these requirements. But at the end of the day, I trust myself. I know what I offer and I deliver. And just being in that sense is the first step in my wellbeing code of nervous system regulation. And I notice that on the table anytime someone walks into my treatment space as well. We cannot affect change, we cannot affect healing. If the person is dysregulated, if they're stressed out, there's no way that we can get to a state of healing because they're in survival mode.

[Danielle Ireland]

And just even another way of saying a very similar thing, I learned this actually from my husband who learned it from his father, who went through 12 step recovery programs that Halt. Are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Halt. And if you are any of those things, that's not the time to try to take on a new skill or enter into the ring and have a really heartfelt debate. We use that a lot with each other. I'm just full disclosure. You don't always catch it in real time. Sometimes you've already said the Whoopsie doodle. It's already come out of your mouth. You can't take the words back. You're like, oh, I said that because I'm really tired and I'm really hungry and I need to refuel and I need to re regulate. I need. My nervous system needs to be regulated before I can actually be the person you deserve to have a conversation with, not this rabid animal who just is starving.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

I love that. And I think that's so important too, because that's another thing that I think. Women are taught to sacrifice themselves. And there's a lot of shame and guilt around taking care of yourself first. Just that acronym there alone shows you need to address these basic biological needs. You're able to even be available.

[Danielle Ireland]

Absolutely.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

For your kids, for your clients, for your partner, for anyone else. You need to be able to address your biological needs. That also helps you to show up with emotional well being.

[Danielle Ireland]

I wanted to find a way to just smoothly weave this in and I can't think of a way to do it. So I just want to ask you for. So for people who are listening, who don't know Marianne, haven't met Marianne yet, or don't follow her. What I have observed over the last few years is she's taken on this transformational journey with what she's wanting to offer the world. She's also been out in the world in a very aspirational way. And I call it aspirational because from afar it seems like, how are you going on all these trips and how are you having all these incredible adventures? But one of the great things about you, Marianne, is that your drive and your ambition, things that maybe drove you into burnout once upon a time. Now, in a more settled, regulative nervous system, you're just a go getter and a goal setter. But your goals are like, in service of you, not about proving anything. You've taken these incredible trips. I just. Everybody listening just needs to go to her Instagram and just look at all the places you're leading. A retreat to Bali. I remember the first time you went on some big, incredible, gorgeous women's retreat to an exotic location. It wasn't Morocco, wasn't the first one, but that's the one coming to mind. But you've been to Morocco, you've been to Spain, you've been to France and all of this gorgeous travel, you're doing that while running a business, while also you have a healthy marriage that you're keeping alive. You have a business, you're keeping alive. And you're also making all of this space in your life for you to live life on your terms. And I just. I think you're leading by example. But can you tell me a little bit more about what it was like for you to take that first big leap and go on a big adventure? Because I would imagine there's probably somebody listening who would think, not in the snippy way of must be nice, but in the way of that would be nice. I would like to have a grand adventure. I would like to feel more connected to myself and my purpose and my body. Like, how did you get the courage and create the space to honor yourself? Taking a big adventure?

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yeah. I've been wired to travel. My father was a sailor. He was in the military. So I grew up in Puerto Rico for the first five years of my life, and then we moved to Philly. So from island to inner city, and then from inner city to country to a Podunk town where if you blinked at the stoplight, you missed the town, and then to a suburb. So I've been in different environments. And this, again, speaks to being a chameleon and adaptable. So I'm obsessed with travel. I really feel like travel is a transformational tool, and I feel like you can't often see the picture when you're inside the frame. And so for me, stepping out, and thankfully, I do have a husband who supports me to go on these adventures, they are enriching. And I. I feel it's important for me to invite and model what it means to take dedicated time outside of my life, my operating life, to pause, pour back into myself, be in community with other women, have an experience with the culture and land that I'm curious about, and I want to know more. And being in just beauty and delight. And I feel like I'm con. I'm comfortable being an outsider because of this constant question of belonging. I think it's really important for everyone to be challenged in some shape or form of what it's like to feel like an outsider, because it gives you perspective. It gives me perspective to know, oh, my gosh, this is what I love about home and this is what I love about this country. And when I can see the contrast in so many different ways, that gratitude fuels me when I come home. And it also sparks more curiosity for the next adventure.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

And I love. Okay, something link. You just gave me new language that I am going to keep forever. I. When I step outside of my operating life, I never thought about it because I just. It was such A visceral. I got like a whole image, an entire concept with just that language of that feeling of I. I wake up Monday morning and then I blink and it's Friday. And that was. I was operating in my life but stepping outside of the frame to see the picture of what I want my life to be. Those experiences are pouring that in that just. I'm going to be thinking about that long after this conversation. And you've probably even said that to me before. It just, it landed different this time because so often though it's mostly women, not all women, but the clients who find me, who want to work with me, they often. They're in a state of. It's like a mixture of burnout on we feeling lost. And they don't maybe hit all the diagnostic criteria for depression, although maybe they do, but something is off and they. It's almost. It's like they can describe the experience of my smoke detector's beeping. I just don't know where the fire is. Something is off in my life or in me. And then the assumption is that the problem must be me. And Sometimes taking a 30,000 foot view, it could be a little bit of you and it also could be the environment, it could be any number of factors. But that sense of I'm operating through my life and everything should feel good, but it feels like something's missing. And I love that travel has. Because I've seen it just over in real time. I've seen it light, these sparks in you and magical.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

It is magical. There's so much data that can be taken even from, oh my gosh, this isn't working in my life. When I go back, I'm going to switch this up or ooh. I learned that in France, they take a break in the afternoon and this is normal. And the whole country supports that. Rest in the middle of the day to make work even more sustainable and maybe even a little more pleasurable versus here in our society. It's grinding, it's grinding. In Morocco it was, oh my gosh, it's community. People just stop and pop in and drop in and have tea and there's no announcement. And that wouldn't fly in our culture. We have to schedule everything. Are you available? Is my house clean? I'm guilty of it myself. And I realized, oh my gosh, the decor and this and the culture, it sets it up for community to be normalized. And so there's just so many missing aspects that I like to pull from. I think of like my time in a place as alchemizing into my ultimate self, who I really. I like to pull different things from different places that I really enjoy. And then again, there's also the oh my gosh, I'm so glad to come home to my bed and my shower and I'm so grateful that my shower is like this and I've got all of the luxuries and privileges that I do in my own home. It makes me that much more grateful for what I do have when I do leave. So there's so much that's available. I. One thing I do want to highlight is I talk to a lot of women who feel guilty about leaving, especially their kids, their home or they just feel that's a lot of time to be away. And in the grand scheme of things, I think if I'm to be on my deathbed at 90 and I look back, it's a blip. A week away in a year is a blip. Yeah, I've gone twice a year, so. But still it helps me to come back being a more present mom. Everyone in my treatment room always benefits when I come back because I get spa services. So I transfer that love to my clients from Morocco. I was giving everyone scalp massages. That's a big part of taking again from the land and letting that pour back into me so I can bring that part of the culture here, well, to Indiana.

[Danielle Ireland]

What I have observed and also I've benefited from the. Your travels and how it's enriched you, but also I think what your. What you are modeling through your experience, not just through what you teach and not just the concepts that you say you believe in. But what you're actually modeling is when I live my life on my terms, everybody in my life benefits who as is actually in loving service of me. It's. There were a couple of ex. There were a couple of quotes and expressions that came to mind as you were talking.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

And the other thing I wanted to mention about travel that I noticed is a lot of times again talking about our. The way our lives are operating, sometimes we get in patterns where we're just going, going, going. And it takes stepping away to really allow yourself to settle. And that's why again, regulate is my first step in the wellbeing code. Because sometimes people cannot regulate in their day to day. They're so dedicated, they're so committed to the pattern and they don't even realize it's a pattern. And that's why sometimes I hear clients, I went on vacation and I got sick. Their nervous systems finally got to come down and they weren't in fight or flight protection mode. And guess what? Now their immune systems are vulnerable. And so it's a signal that something needs to change in their day to day operations. Because it's not sustainable. They will experience dis ease. And it could be because there are emotions that they're not processing. Their nervous system is in dysregulation. They're just flowing. Flowing is the wrong word here. They're just going. And their subconscious is driving with whatever thought or feeling is not serving them, whether it's I need to achieve, I need to prove, I need to belong, whatever that is. And so I think travel can help people push the pause button. And then one other thing I wanted to say about travel is I know when I talk to some people, it's scary to travel and people can experience anxiety. Not everyone has an adventurous spirit to start. And what I love about travel is I think one of the ways that helps me to operate in life where I'm not feeling out of control is I do have plans. And those plans become backup plans because at the end of the day, things change. So whatever vision I had or goal or way I saw things mapping out or unfolding, especially with travel, there might be delays, lost luggage, you didn't get the room that you wanted, there's a flood. Something where it requires flexibility. And I like having to be challenged in that sense because I think that helps keep my brain young, it keeps it active. I don't get stuck in ruts because I have to flex and flow.

[Danielle Ireland]

I feel like my son is a teacher for me in this way, more so than anybody else in my life, that I get locked into a plan, thinking that my plan is what is predicting the future. And I can become really attached to that plan. And what he constantly and lovingly reminds me is no mommy. Life happens regardless of your plans. But it also, it made me. During COVID there was a quote that came across my path that I loved, which is that in the absence of control, you realize you never had it. All you had was anxiety. And so I think that to your point, the call of adventure doesn't guarantee hardship, but it also doesn't guarantee anything. But when you say yes to adventure, when you follow the call, you're opening yourself up to the possibility of something more. And I think that stagnation of just wanting to lock into this, I don't like this life, I don't like this pattern, I don't like this relationship, I don't like how I'm feeling. But this is what I know. Saying, yes, the possibility of discomfort is there, but also the possibility is there for anything. And it's just if you're gonna say yes to the possibility, you might be inviting some discomfort. But also I feel like the more you experience, I'm sure you feel this way with travel. It reminds me a lot of like the performing arts. Once the worst thing you can ever imagine happens to you on stage in front of other people. You realize so quickly the next time how, oh yeah, so I fell, or I flubbed my line or I forgot, or my shirt was tucked in the back of my pants and my underwear was shown. You, you just, you make enough public mistakes, you're like, oh, okay, I guess I'm fine. I guess I lived. And for every crazy travel story I've ever experienced, somehow I made it back. Here I am today. I'm not still permanently stuck in, I don't know, Switzerland without my luggage.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yeah, there's always a choice, right? On how we can look at things. And I think we're wired as humans to, to have negative thoughts. It's conscious thought that pulls us out of that. And so you can look at, oh crap, I missed my flight, this sucks. Or you could look at it like, oh, well, there's a reason why this is happening and there's just so many ways you can look at things. And so going back to the wellbeing code and emotional well being, there's studies that show when you have positive emotions, you are more resilient. And I think travel helps with that too. And travel and wellbeing, there, you're speaking my love languages. I just really love these things and I want to invite other people to experience it too. I want to guide women to have this opportunity to step outside of their day to day and be guided in a place where they can rest and be totally taken care of. Take away the workload that they deal with on a regular basis that's visible and invisible, that could be impacting their nervous systems. Help them to get to a state of regulation. So when they're in that state, then the reflection can happen where they start to think, okay, yeah, this is what I do love about my life. Or this is what I think could be different or better. Having that sense of, yeah, I'm taking a look at this picture a little from a different angle from that 30,000 foot view. And then, okay, when I return, what are the new habits that I'm going to try on or what am I going to commit to that's going to produce a different outcome in my life that would create that sense of calm that I was able to access while I was in Bali. And then from there, my fourth step is radiate. Which all ties back to the one of the reasons why I love skincare and why I love Chinese face reading and why I love coaching, especially women, on accepting and belonging to themselves. Because when they do that, they can show up in a way that is impactful and reduce the noise of that inner critic that stops them from contributing to the world. It's a human need to be able to contribute and to grow. And I really want to help women to step into the impact that they can share with either their communities on a bigger scale or small scale. However, desire is but to really, truly be seen, and you and I have talked about that. Visibility, I believe, is a love language. When you feel like someone really sees you.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

It acknowledges what's special and what your strengths, your talents, your. Your inner wisdom, your inner light. I feel like that is when people really light up.

[Danielle Ireland]

Before I shift to the final question, the don't cut your own bang question, something that you mentioned helped me re reintegrate an experience I've had in such a different way. Thinking about belonging, belonging to ourselves, or trying to hustle for our belonging to others. That's some language I borrowed from Brene Brown. When we're hustling for our worthiness, even when we get the very thing we were convinced we wanted, I hustled to look a certain way, to be perceived a certain way to have to be accepted in this particular way. When it is a performance, even when you get all of that, at the end of the day, at least I can speak for myself. It is incredibly lonely because you are not really being seen. It is your PR representative that is actually receiving the compliments, receiving the accolade, receiving the attention or the affection, it's a mirage that's getting all the flowers, not you. Because that fear, that deep shame, is.

If anybody knew the real me, if.

Anybody saw this real mess, they wouldn't still be here. I think oftentimes clients will come and start wanting to understand this deeper emotional work. And they're like, I'm doing this because I think I should. Like, maybe I should be talking to a therapist. And. But for me, the why is because the more friendly your relationship is with yourself, the friendlier the world feels, the safer in the world you feel. And I don't know why I'm saying you, because I'm talking about myself. I just. The more at Home. I feel in myself. The more secure my relationships feel, the more secure my attachments feel, the easier it is for me to say whole embodied yeses and nos, the clearer it is for me to make decisions that are in service of me.

I'm.

It's just everything in my life improves.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

When I feel seen and known with myself and then by extension, others. So thank you for that. You're just helping me process that in real time.

Yeah.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

You belong to yourself. Yeah.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yeah. So, Marianne, I would love to know any. Anywhere you want to go, any place you want to take it. Okay.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

You were going to tell me yours.

[Danielle Ireland]

Okay. Yeah. Let me think. Okay. What's a good.

What's. Oh, okay.

A recent don't cut your own bang moment for me. Was my sweet husband surprised and not surprised, like, on the day. He knows me better than that. But he did surprise me with a family photo shoot. We haven't had family photos done in 2 and a half years. And when I would look around the house, I just didn't see, like, my son's face reflected beyond when he was two weeks old. And also just us as a family. I really feel like something clicked into place when he turned 2. We became a unit. It wasn't like two adults and a toddler and a baby. We were just trying to keep alive. It's like, oh, this is our crew, this is our people. And I wanted that reflected, but I guess I must have just been walking through the house saying I wanted it, but not actually do anything with it. And he thankfully picked up the baton and he booked it. But not only did he book it, he helped hire somebody to help. Because I feel stressed when I think about coordinating the outfits. It's like, I don't wanna look too matchy. I don't wanna look like a family version of Destiny's Child when there used to be four members. And. But. But I also, I. I get torn between. I don't wanna look like I care, but I really care, but I don't wanna try too hard, but I want it to work. So anyway, he did the absolute best thing, which he hired somebody that would make those decisions for me. And so I felt so seen in that he recognized that this was important for me and also knew where I would feel stress about it and so lovingly teed it up. So I'm setting all this up because if I stopped the story there, I'd be like, oh, that's so sweet. He's so nice. And that's true. And he is. And yes. But the photos themselves, like the photo shoot. I'm sure the photos will look great. I hope they will. It was a sweaty, stressful, like shit show. It just every kid wanted to run and there are only two of them. But it felt like there were 30 of them were running in opposite directions. Everyone forgot what to do with their hands. And it just felt, do we know how to be people out in the world? It just. There was something about that camera being on. We all were photo shoots with toddlers.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Oh my gosh, it's so stressful. Even if it's a 10 minute slot.

[Danielle Ireland]

It was. And it was just like. And I wanted so much to be like grounded and embodied. And here we are. No matter how pretty the photos are, I just want to really peek behind the curtain and acknowledge that on the inside. I'm going, help, help. And it ended with us. Our photographer Marissa was a genius. She was like, why don't we get some ice cream and just get some photos of you sitting down and let the kids. There was a moment, and this is at 6:30 when my son should be in bed and my daughter should almost be in bed. They're just stuffing ice cream in their mouth and it's running down their brand new outfits. So what did I learn from it? I learned that sometimes the best laid plans can throw a curveball. And even though it was stressful in the moment, that's a memory that will stay with me for a long time. That is what our life feels like now in so many ways. There's beautiful moments, there's treasured moments, and there's really stressful moments. Sometimes the adult in me just goes, why is this so hard?

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Oh my gosh, that the pictures are hard. We had a photo shoot with my son dressed to the nice bow tie, suspender, so cute hat. And he was crying the entire time. And I was literally telling myself, okay, let go of the plan, let go of the plan. And luckily my photographer, she just said, turn him upside down, it'll look like he's smiling. Which it did look like he was smiling. But yes, those moments are stressful, I will say. So the premise of the don't cut your bang moment. Well, let me just share. Yeah, so I have an actual bang cutting moment.

[Danielle Ireland]

Tell me.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

I thought I could cut my son's bangs when he was 2 years old. So I started to snip and then all of a sudden it was like, oh, but I gotta keep going, I gotta keep going. So he ended up looking like a hasidic Jew because the sides were Long and his bangs were cut short here. Hair is not my forte. We were getting pictures with Santa that day, and so Nate had to watch YouTube videos to learn how to cut his hair. He cut his hair. He ended up looking like Tom Cruise. So we went from my botched mess to looking like a maverick. But, yeah, that was an actual don't cut your son's bangs moment.

[Danielle Ireland]

Don't cut your son's bang. And so what'd you say? That the lesson is that when it gets bad, don't try to make it better by just doing more. Yeah.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Or outsourcing what's not my wheelhouse, which is what I typically do.

[Danielle Ireland]

So sometimes it means calling an expert. And yes.

Yeah.

There's so many things you do well and it's okay if one is not cutting hair.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

Hair is not my thing. But yeah. Yeah, I've learned. And I don't cut my own bangs either.

[Danielle Ireland]

You go to the professional.

[Marianne Tchaikovsky]

I go to the professional.

[Danielle Ireland]

Yes. Thank you, Marianne. Thank you so much for being here. And I can't wait for people to get to hear this.

So thank you. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of don't cut your own bangs with my dear friend, Marianne Takovsky. I hope this conversation reminds you of something really vital, and I'm going to need this reminder many, many times over. But that's okay.

That's why we have this community and.

That'S why we've got people like Marianne in our corner. That your emotions are not a problem to fix, but they are signals. They're invitations. They're information holding something really important for you to know. And as Marianne shared, when you regulate, rewire, resync and radiate, you stop hustling for belonging and you start belonging to yourself.

My goal in life, as it continues.

To evolve, it's not only helping making big motions feel less scary and easier to hold, but also to make the brain space, the emotional space, the space that we inhabit in ourselves, a friendlier place to be. And this well being code is one great step of many, but all the while a very worthy step to helping us feel that way. If this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you could rate, review, and subscribe to the show. It's one of the best ways to actually help the don't cut your own bangs podcast and community reach more people who might benefit from these conversations too.

And before you hop away, please check out the show notes.

They are linked for you wherever you're catching. If it's on YouTube.

If it's on Apple Podcasts, if it's.

On Spotify or all the other glorious channels, make sure to check out those links. That's where you can explore the wellbeing code.

That's where you can tap into all.

The resources that were mentioned in the episode today.

And you can always connect with me there too. I want to keep this conversation going.

You can send me an [e-mail] subjectline.

Bangs and say, hey girl, can you talk about this more?

I want to hear about this.

I have a question about that and I will say yes.

Please.

Let's do it. Thank you for being here.

Thank you for your time and your.

Attention and I hope that you continue.

To have an incredible day.

[Libsyn Ads Announcer]

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