When Frustration Speaks and Magic Answers: Best Of Week 1

Summary

Podcast Summary: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — "When Frustration Speaks and Magic Answers: Best Of Week 1"

Host: Danielle Ireland
Date: December 1, 2025
Guests: John Kippen (coach, speaker, magician)

Episode Overview

Danielle Ireland kicks off her Best Of year-end series with a reflective, cozy compilation designed to help listeners navigate the “messy middle” between where you are and where you want to be. This episode focuses on two powerful themes: frustration and magic. Danielle shares highlights from her solo cast “What is Your Frustration Telling You?” and portions of her deeply honest conversation with magician and resilience coach John Kippen, whose story of healing and transformation turns adversity into creative possibility.

The tone is warm, compassionate, and lightly humorous, embodying Danielle’s mission to make “big feelings” less intimidating and more approachable—always with an invitation to laugh and learn together.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Frustration as Information, Not Just Emotion

[03:05–09:50]

• Danielle reframes frustration as an internal guidance system—not a problem to be avoided but a message to be decoded.
• “Your frustration is valid. Your frustration is real. It is being experienced by you. Therefore, the resolve, the action, the places you go, the conversations you have... it’s uniquely yours.” – Danielle ([04:45])
• She shares how recurring lessons in life, especially those linked to feelings, are like cosmic “peekaboo”—they keep resurfacing for a reason.
• “As soon as I get up in arms about what I can and cannot accept from somebody else... karma knocks me upside the head and I end up making the same big mistake I was so indignant about someone else doing.” – Danielle ([05:55])
• Encourages listeners not to bulldoze past discomfort, but rather to scratch the itch, sit with it, and get curious about what it’s trying to say.
• “I can never change other people and I am the one responsible for me. I can, I want, I need, I will.” — Danielle’s journaling mantra ([07:40])
• The importance of self-responsibility when frustration arises; recognizing when you hold yourself back by not accepting opportunities or expressing needs.
• Big feelings are especially challenging for children—Danielle references her book Wrestling a Walrus as a gentle tool for helping little ones (and their grown-ups) work with, not against, difficult emotions.

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2. The Magic of Turning Pain into Power — John Kippen’s Journey

[10:37–25:58]

A. Receiving Life-Altering News

• John recounts the shocking moment he learned of his brain tumor diagnosis and the immediate, life-changing consequences:
  • “You have a 4 1/2 centimeter brain tumor. It’s killing you. We’re operating on Friday. You’re going to go deaf in your left ear and there’s a possibility for some facial weakness.” – John ([10:39])
• Danielle underscores the universal power found in personal stories:
  • “When you go into the specificity of what you experienced, I can see myself in so many elements of your story... when we get deeper, it becomes somehow more accessible and universal.” – Danielle ([11:43])

B. Healing, Depression, and the Birth of Magic

• John describes how post-surgery depression and isolation eventually led him to magic—not only as a performance art but as a metaphor for transformation.
• He emphasizes the healing power of humor and honesty, especially when sharing difficult truths:
  • “Truth is an illusion. Everybody has their own truth, their own perspective.” – John ([14:01])
• Danielle reflects: “Humor in its highest expression is allowing us to laugh at something that we see the truth in.” ([13:16])

C. Vulnerability and Connection

• John’s vulnerability on stage (and in life) becomes a superpower:
  • “What I just did was I turned my biggest challenge into a superpower.” – John ([16:36])
• The importance of “trickster energy”—the willingness to surprise, to turn pain into possibility, and to shift perspectives.
• Danielle: “Vulnerability in its purest form is magic... sharing the story you feel like you couldn’t share.” ([17:58])

D. Ten-Year Journey to His Dream

• John’s decade-long pursuit of performing on the Magic Castle’s main stage is highlighted:
  • “You had a vision of yourself on that main stage... You didn’t just have a goal, you had the goal, and you did it. But you also say that it took you 10 years.” – Danielle ([18:57])
  • John credits “creative coping” over those years, transforming struggle into motivation.

E. The Long Game of Healing

• Both discuss the myth of quick “before and after” stories, instead emphasizing the necessity of patience, self-compassion, and honoring the non-linear journey of healing.
  • “There’s never enough time, I’m not enough, and there’s not enough time, and not being worthy.” – Danielle ([21:26])
  • “The joy really is in the process. And there’s no way to enjoy the process of fulfilling the wishes of somebody else.” – Danielle ([24:05])
  • “It’s in the journey, not in the destination.” – John ([22:30])

F. Embracing Difference, Living Authentically

• John shares inventive ways he embraced facial paralysis, even during the pandemic (e.g., personalized face masks):
  • “I spent 20 years learning how not to hide my face... Now, covering your face with a mask became government mandated.” – John ([24:22])
• The importance of self-acceptance:
  • “I did love myself and until I, not up here, not in my head, but in my heart, accepted my smile, I couldn’t move forward. I couldn’t heal. And once I accepted my new smile, I found joy. I found that I could love myself.” – John ([25:25])
• John’s central message:
  • “Treat people who are different with respect and compassion... You never know, you might be in their shoes in an instant.” – John ([25:58])

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• Danielle, on frustration:
  “Your frustration is valid. Your frustration is real... the way we emotionally respond to life is information, a roadmap guiding us through the next right step.” ([04:45])
• John, on receiving his diagnosis:
  “You have a 4 1/2 centimeter brain tumor. It’s killing you. We’re operating on Friday... We're going to do everything we can to prevent that.” ([10:39])
• John, on truth:
  “Truth is an illusion. Everybody has their own truth, their own perspective.” ([14:01])
• Danielle, on magic and vulnerability:
  “Vulnerability in its purest form is magic because it’s the one thing... you were so utterly convinced you would be outed or cast out by exposing.” ([17:58])
• John, on self-love:
  “Until I... in my heart, accepted my smile, I couldn’t move forward. I couldn’t heal. And once I accepted my new smile, I found joy.” ([25:25])
• John, on his TED Talk message:
  “Treat people who are different with respect and compassion... You never know, you might be in their shoes in an instant.” ([25:58])

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Frustration as information & how to respond to it: [03:05–09:50]
• John Kippen’s diagnosis and turning point: [10:37–14:00]
• Truth, illusion, and the healing power of telling your story: [14:01–19:00]
• The time and patience behind transformation: [18:37–22:30]
• Achievement, masks, and embracing difference: [24:05–25:58]
• Calls to action for compassion and self-reflection: [25:58–end]

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Memorable Moments

• Danielle’s repeated “joke” about relearning the same emotional lessons, and her gratefulness that highlighting these experiences brings comfort to others in the “messy middle.”
• John’s story about making personalized face masks to take control of his narrative and humorously embrace his facial paralysis ([24:22]).
• Discussion on how “impossible” is really “I’m possible,” a theme Danielle says she’ll carry forward.

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Closing Threads & Takeaways

• Growth demands patience, curiosity, and the willingness to feel discomfort without self-judgment.
• Authenticity and vulnerability are not only healing for oneself, but for communities and audiences—turning pain into creative magic.
• True compassion for others is rooted in learning to treat ourselves kindly first.
• There is no single “magic answer” to healing or fulfillment; the answer is found in showing up, being honest, and trusting the process—over and over again.

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Free Gift:
Danielle offers a meditation series for listeners at danielleireland.com/free to support reflection and self-kindness during the season.

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For More:

• For full solo casts and the entire conversation with John Kippen, see the links in the show notes.
• John’s TED Talk and coaching resources also available via show notes.

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“Sometimes the best lessons bear repeating. If you need to hear a lesson a hundred times, that’s okay. You’re a hundred times further in your journey.”
— Danielle Ireland ([end of episode])

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Ever notice how ads always pop up at the worst moments when the killer's identity is about to be revealed during that perfect meditation flow on Amazon Music, we believe in keeping you in the moment. That's why we've got millions of ad free podcast episodes so you can stay completely immersed in every story, every reveal, every breath. Download the Amazon Music app and start listening to your favorite podcasts. Ad free included with Prime Foreign. Hello hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to the don't cut your own Banks Countdown Best of the Year. This is a way that I thought would be really fun to give a special re highlight to some of the guests that I've had join me in interviews since I relaunched the podcast on video in May. There are new viewers here, new listeners here, and I believe that the best lessons bear repeating. I have joked in episodes and also in journal and in life that there seems to be a handful of lessons that I am playing basically peekaboo with life in the universe where I forget everything that I know about, processing my feelings, making space for my feelings, and then I remember, then I forget and then I remember and then I forget. And this episode is going to be the first of a series that's gonna be continuing through the rest of December where you're gonn little bites. I'll be taking some chunks from the solo cast that I've recorded every other week since we relaunched in May, as well as highlighting some of my favorite parts of interviews we've had re highlighting guests. There'll be a free gift for listeners as well with these episodes because we all just need a little bit more tenderness, a little bit more peace and joy during the holiday season, whatever we choose to celebrate wherever we are. And if you're listening to this episode and it's not the holidays, don't worry, you still get the free gift. There's no end cap on it, at least not yet. So this is going to be a fun way for us to get little nuggets of insight, little nuggets of validation, connection, community and learning. But also, this is a busy time of year. We need a little bit more help, a little bit more support and less on our plates. So that's the intention here Every week, here's what you can expect. Top insights from my solo cast, highlights from my most impactful interviews, and threads of wisdom that tie it all together. Consider this a cozy end of the year reflection with a giant podcast bow. Now let's jump in. If you've ever wanted to start journaling but didn't know where to begin, the Treasure Journal was made just for you. It is a guided reflection tool built around seven key areas of your life with prompts and stories pulled straight from my therapy practice to help you go deeper with kindness and clarity as we head into the holidays. These make for beautiful gifts for a friend or for yourself, because sometimes the best present is giving yourself the space to breathe and reflect. You can grab your copy through the link in the show notes. Now back to the episode. Welcome to Best of Week one, When Frustration Speaks and Magic Answers. This week I'm starting with two powerful themes that shaped most of the conversations I've had since then. For the rest of the year, frustration and magic. First, you're gonna hear some clips from a solo cast. What is your frustration telling you? Where I explore frustration not just as a problem, but as information, as a whisperer, as guidance, it's something that is informing, something we really need to pay attention to. Then we shift into some remarkable moments. From my interview with coach, speaker and magician John Kippen, his story of healing, resilience and literal magic became one of the most unforgettable convers. And before we begin, a gentle heads up. This is my first time creating a best of compilation episode of any kind using various clips. So if the transitions feel a little jumpy or if it seems like some thoughts may leap a little bit from one to the other, that's probably because that is exactly what's happening. These moments, they weren't originally recorded to be side by side, but I chose the clips because they felt the most meaningful and impactful to me. It felt like, how could I pack in the most punch in this type of episode? But the great thing is in the show notes there are links to the full episode. So if you listen to this clip or this highlight and you're hearing a part of an idea and you're like, oh man, I want more context on that. I got you covered. And you can. Okay, think of this a little like flipping through a scrapbook. It's not exactly a straight line, but a beautiful collection of moments that are worth remembering. Let's get started with the solo cast using emotions and interpreting them like information because they are our emotions, are our internal compass, our internal guidance system and the way we emotionally respond to life is information that is a roadmap guiding us through the next right step. Your frustration is valid. Your frustration is real. It is being experienced by you. Therefore, the resolve, the action, the places you go, the conversations you have, or just the new informed way that you have of moving forward, it's uniquely yours. How can I become more in tune with the experience I'm having so that it doesn't have to get as uncomfortable as it got before? As soon as I get up in arms about what I can and cannot accept from somebody else? It almost seems like within the week, karma knocks me upside the head and I end up making the same big mistake that I was so indignant about somebody else doing. If that little whisper is persistently coming up that, hey, something smells a little fishy or something feels a little off, I don't have to maybe know in the fullest extent of the word what that means. But also don't ignore it. And that is what I did. Scratch the itch, feel it, but then go back. Don't ignore it. Don't bulldoze past it, revisit it, and ask it, what is it? Wanting you to know what happened when things didn't work out? What did you do when you faced out? What happened when you maybe failed 10 times before you got your first success? What helps me is not just having a North Star of what's possible, but also a path to get there, funneling through the process of understanding your frustration and what it could be informing for you. The thing that I like to say to myself in a journal or out loud is some version of this, make it your own. Knowing that I can never change other people and that I am the one who is responsible for me. I can, I want, I need, I will. And I use those sentence stems. But in some version of this process, after letting myself name the frustration exactly in the way I feel it, in many cases, if I really sit with that and open and access curiosity, there were many times where people were asking me, what do you need? Do you want to go do blank? Do you want to go do blank? And I was so caught up in my own narrative at the time that I felt trapped and I felt like I couldn't say yes. And so who's responsible for that? Me. Big feelings are hard to hold, especially for little ones. And that's why I wrote Wrestling a Walrus for Little People with Big Feelings. It is a sweet, beautifully illustrated story about a small penguin, a big obstacle, and what happens when we meet our feelings with curiosity instead of fear? It's the perfect holiday gift for kids, parents, teachers or anyone who could use a gentle reminder that big feelings don't have to be scary. Find wrestling a walrus on Amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com or the link in the show notes. That was a look at some of the biggest takeaways from from the solo cast. What is your frustration telling you? And now we are going to shift gears into something completely different, a different kind of magic, the kind that happens when somebody turns their deepest challenge into their greatest superpower. You're about to hear highlights from my conversation with coach, speaker and magician John Kippen. He has a TED Talk that has received over a million views and the heartbeat of this TED Talk is how he triumphs over tragedy with a diagnosis of a tumor the size of a golf ball that is separating his brainstem. And the procedure he needed to save his life changed his life forever. Doing the work of healing does not come easily to anyone. But as John so beautifully puts in this episode, if John can do it, you can do it. He's using his story, his vulnerable and raw experiences and talking about not only what happened to him, but how he moved through the impossible. He actually coins a phrase that I love and I'm going to keep, which is that impossible really means I'm possible. So the ultimate magic trick, the ultimate illusion, is what your limiting beliefs are about yourself and how do you use facing those fears and those limiting beliefs to transform your life. And in John's case, he takes that healing and offers it as a gift to us as listeners, to his clients and his coaching practice to the readers of his book. He has authored a book, the foreword by none other than the Jamie Lee Curtis from all of the places you know her, most recently the Bear, where she won an Emmy. But everything, everywhere, all at once. She and John are buds and she believes in him and believes in this work. And as a champion of that work, it just adds a little extra sparkle and fairy dust to the beautiful work that he's already doing. To say that he's been vetted by someone who is so sparkly and magnetic and also deeply entrenched in holding space for the truth and honoring the truth.

[B]

Looks up at the MRI after talking to a neurosurgeon and he turns around, John, you have a 4 1/2 centimeter brain tumor. It's killing you. We're operating you on Friday. You're going to go deaf when you're left ear and there's a possibility for some facial weakness. We're going to do everything we can to prevent that.

[A]

So he knew, and in his own brash and abrupt way, essentially prepared you for the outcome and challenges that would come. Assuming the surgery was a success.

[B]

Yeah. He is a world renowned acoustic neuroma surgeon. He's one of the guys you go to when you kind of suit tumor and that's all he does.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

But he literally left the room and I'm sitting there and didn't bring anybody in. And.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A tip to anyone who's potentially going in for a serious diagnosis.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bring a friend or a family member because it goes in one ear and out the other. You're in shock. You do what you have to do. I remember getting up and I got rid of all the mirrors in my house. I didn't want a constant reminder.

[A]

There's so much specificity to what is uniquely your story. But what I have found, when you go into the specificity of what you experienced, I can see myself in so many elements of your story. Like when we get in deeper, it becomes somehow more accessible and universal. And in that way, you're not alone. Even though it happened to you. And that detail about your removing the mirrors from your home, it brings me to something I really wanted to ask you about. You share by saying, and then also by actually demonstrating in your TED Talk that once you began the healing process of really addressing your depression after your operation, that the story, it led you to magic. Literally. And I also think in a more magical way, beyond performing an illusion. I know not to call it a trick. I learned that from Arrested Development. But there's something you said that I wanted to quote that it's amazing how accepting kids are of the truth. You open up your TED Talk, which I will link in the show notes so people can see. You mentioned that this in a way that your permission and your humor and your honesty, it created levity and lightness for something that would be considered maybe so precious and heavy. And what I want to speak to and open up a question, if that's okay, is I'm curious what your relationship with the truth is, because I think humor in its highest expression is allowing us to laugh at something that we see the truth in. And yet it's this razor's edge between laughing at someone or laughing at something versus inviting us to laugh at the. The human experience that we maybe don't know how to name or express in another way. But I want to know personally for you what your Relationship is with the truth and the value of embracing it. And then in your line of work as a coach, where do you see people struggle with it?

[B]

Truth is an illusion.

[A]

Oh, tell me more. That just. That was a zingy response that you popped right out. Please tell me more.

[B]

Yeah, truth. Everybody has their own truth. Well, they're their own perspective. Things happen for a reason. We don't always understand the reason for them.

[A]

I don't know if it. What the reason was, but I can say a gift from that was that somebody who lived with a very active monkey mind and a lot of head trash and some anxiety. The experience of the early grief, not for very long, but there was a moment in time where my mind was quiet. Not numb, but quiet. And it helped me realize, oh, there's the observer within me. And then there are the different conversations that are happening in my head that aren't me, which are maybe the perceptions that I call truth. Sometimes I want to bring that same question of truth, which you had an answer I was not expecting, which I love when I never see it coming. So thank you. Where do you see your clients? Because you're a coach, right? You are taking your healing and offering it as medicine to people that are trying to make a connection in their own life. So where do you see people that you work with struggle with the truth?

[B]

Everybody's hiding from something in their life. They have buried something so deep, and it keeps them from moving forward in their lives because it erodes their self. And that's what I learned through my love for performing. So they have no explications other than they're going to see some magic. So I start my saying, hi, guys, My name is John, and I'm doing magic all my Life. But in 2002, I had a brain tumor. And when they cut out my head, they traumatized my offense to paralyzed faith. But something happened to me on that table that day, Danielle. I'm not sure what it was because I was unconscious. All I know is I recovered. I realized I had acquired some new skills. And I paused. Yeah. And I wait for everybody to get on the edge of their seat.

[A]

Like, what happened, John?

[B]

Skills I could acquire from having brain surgery. Look to my right, and I look to my left like it's the biggest secret. Lean in. And I whisper in a loud voice as I am able to visualize people's thought. And then I do some mental magic. Mentalism. And what I just did was I turned my biggest challenge into a soup.

[A]

Yes, you did. And I want to pause you because when you said that in your talk. Have you read Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

When she talks about trickster energy, I was like, john Kippen is a freaking trickster. That is trickster energy that you can shift before someone's very eyes. It's like you are performing magic, and you are performing magic. You shifted before them and you invited your audience to see beyond their own limiting beliefs, their own did truth.

[B]

They were distracted. They wanted to know why. It was paralyzed with the good. Did he have a stroke? Did he have Bell's palsy? What was it? So I found them being distracted when I was performing. So I got that away in the first two minutes. I explained why my face is paralyzed. And now I treat it as the experiences. Now I'm able to do superhuman things. And now they're like, okay. So as I perform, I focus on spectator. Magic happens in your mind as a spectator.

[A]

Oh, I love that. Magic happens in your mind.

[B]

Having a creative mind, I wanted to understand what that is, what that. What was going on.

[A]

You also, not only through performing magic, inviting the curiosity you could see in other people's faces into your opening act, essentially, or your sleight of hand. I'm going to show you this over here so that you can not see what's coming here. Vulnerability in its purest form is magic because it's the one thing sharing the story you feel like you couldn't share. Letting somebody see the one part of you that you would never let anybody see because you were so utterly convinced you would be outed or you would be cast out by exposing that vulnerability is the birthplace of true connection.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is the ultimate magic trick. It's. It's like what they say in nightmares, if you stop and face the thing that's chasing you, it can't chase you anymore. In the dream. And so you spent a decade. Did I remember that correctly? You wanted to be a main stage performer at the Magic Castle. It took you about 10 years. And you did it.

[B]

I did, yeah.

[A]

10 years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

10 years.

[B]

It was my creative coping. I had hit rock bottom. Was I suicidal? No, not really. But I was unhappy. Yeah, I was. My girlfriend left me. And fortunately, I had a job that I could focus on. But I needed something more. And through sharing something so personal and tying magic into it and making it a positive instead of a negative, people are attracted. Don Cancan so cannot that my true mess different is your superpower. My facial paralysis does not have to define me. I don't let it, Daniel. I live my life that it's better to ask forgiveness and permission, and that's me in the butt. Numerous.

[A]

I can also say the opposite can bite you in the butt. I think I waited probably too long, many times for permission that wasn't really coming, because no one can ultimately grant it. Like, if there's a path you want to carve, like the job that you built, all of the different things that you've done, there's no Resume posted on LinkedIn. No one's like, that's an empowerment coach slash magician, slash keynote speaker slash documentarian. Like that. You have to get curious and still and listen to that little voice inside and follow that curiosity to a path that may not make sense for anyone for a really long time. And I didn't do that. And that can bite you in the butt, too, because regret's hard to hold. Anybody who makes something look easy that we do take for granted. And I think that, like, I appreciate so much in the telling of your story, you share not just the struggles, but the time. You had a vision of yourself on the main stage, performing at the Magic Castle, like, the most elusive place where magic is. And you didn't just want to get in. You didn't just want to get an audition, you didn't want to just, like, get to perform, perform an illusion, like main stage. You didn't just have a goal, you had the goal and you did it. But you also say that it took you 10 years. And there's usually themes that run with anxiety about not enough and the crunchiness of time. There's never enough time. I'm not enough and there's not enough time and not being worthy. Yes, yes, yes. One of my main motivations when I started this podcast originally several years ago, was I was starting to increasingly feel trapped in this sort of world of a before and after story. And it was no longer feeling inspirational. It was just another measuring stick for how not enough. Because it's great to see where somebody was and where they are. But when I'm knee deep in my own struggle, when I'm the caterpillar, goo and the chrysalis and I'm not the shiny butterfly, but I'm also not the caterpillar anymore, what do I do when my life is literally a shitty pile of goo? This is something that most clients don't come right out and ask me, like, in sessions one, two, and three, but it inevitably comes, well, I've been doing this for so many months. How much longer is it going to take? How long is it going to Take. And I just always. I appreciate when people can acknowledge the time and consistency that goes into healing.

[B]

Is in the journey, not in the destination. And that's something I really focus on my client. I have clients come to me because they're holding themselves back in their life. Coming. This will help others. That realization, they understand they are truly powerful and have a chance to shake their destiny. That's why I talk about limiting beliefs, how we grow up with our parents or whoever raised us. Those are our belief systems. And so that's what forms who you are. You stop doing it. That's what midlife crisis is all about. Yeah, we got educated, we got a job, we built a career, we have a family.

[A]

It's. I think the version of that I hear in my sessions is essentially, I did everything right. Shouldn't I be feeling better than I am? Like, I followed all the rules. I'm winning. Why does it not feel like I'm winning? And finding our way back to that? The unlearning and the unraveling, that is a. It's a process.

[B]

I'll talk to a friend. How you doing? And so many people respond automatically. Living the drain and flood. Is it your dream you're living? Whose dream are you living is you're wasting your life by living someone else's dream. And that's why you get to that point in life where it's not enough, because it's not your dream. You just finished the last 30 years building.

[A]

Yeah. The joy really is in the process. And there's no way to enjoy the process of fulfilling the wishes of somebody else. Because you. What you're constantly chasing is, when I get there, then the relief will come. And then you're there, and you're like, well, where's my pot of gold?

[B]

Yeah. I spent 20 years learning how not to hide my face. And what happened In March, in 2020, the pandemic hit. Now, covering your face with a mask became not only politically correct, but government mandated. And I'm, like, sitting there thinking to myself, what do I do? So I found a company who prints things on masks, and I sent them a picture of my face, a picture of the lower part of my jaw.

[A]

Trickster energy. John Kippen, Trickster. That's the new hyphen to your list of all of your accomplishments.

[B]

I would walk around and strangers would look at it, not understand.

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

But people who knew me would do a tunnel.

[A]

I will not hide you just to hide.

[B]

Even through a global pandemic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna live my life my own.

[A]

Turn yeah I worked too hard, too long to get free and I will not hide for you.

[B]

I did love myself and until I, not up here, not in my head, but in my heart, accepted my smile, I couldn't move forward. I couldn't heal. And once I accepted my new smile, I found joy. I found that I could love myself. And my message on the TED Talk was treat people who are different with respect to compassion. That's what tech talks are all about. You want one key message, and that was my message. You never know, you might be in their shoes in an instant.

[A]

I want to add to that another way to speak to the value of doing some self investigation, whether that's through journaling, through therapy, or seeking out a coach from someone like yourself, is because that expression of treat other people the way you would want to be treated. What I know is that we don't treat ourselves all that well. A lot of us, many of us, don't treat ourselves well, which is why accessing the compassion of treating others kindly is sometimes harder for us to find. Jumping to criticism or judgment because there's something we're rejecting in us. So I think a way to do the thing you're saying that beautiful treat others with kindness and compassion. The best way to do that is to look within. And I invite anybody listening to Go to the show Notes, visit John's website, seek out a coaching call, grab a copy of his book. There are resources that can help you be kinder to yourself. To lowering the walls, to lifting the veil, to seeing yourself in a new way, to performing the ultimate illusion, which is to love yourself more fully exactly as you are so that we can be kinder to each other. Because we need that. We need a lot more kindness. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of don't cut your own Bangs, the Don't cut your own Bangs Countdown Best of Series. These highlights were just snippets of a much fuller, robust conversation and you can catch them any time. Also, subscribe on YouTube. You can watch the full episodes there or listen and subscribe wherever you catch your podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify. We have homes and lots of amazing places, so we welcome all podcast listeners or viewers wherever you catch your episodes. You can learn more about John Kippen, his TED Talk and all of his amazing work that are linked in the show notes as well. Thank you for being here. And remember, sometimes the best lessons bear repeating. And if you need to hear a lesson a hundred times, that's okay. You're gonna be a hundred times further in the process in the journey of making big feelings feel less scary, holding them feel possible, than you were before. You're not alone. I am a this lesson bears repeating type of person. We're in this together. And your free gift as promised. It'll also be linked in the show notes, but if you're still listening, it's DanielIreland.com free. That's it. DanielIreland.com free. It's a meditation series, a bundle of three meditations just for you to help you ease into this season. To hopefully allow you to welcome a little bit more sparkle, a little bit more light. Because you deserve it. Thanks for being here and I can't wait to see you next time. I hope you continue to have an incredible day. Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising or from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn Ads, go to libsyn ads.com that's lib s y n ads.com today running a small business is tough. Why add online threats to the mix? Norton Small Business can help you and your employees stay safer online. It's an all in one cybersecurity solution that protects your employees devices, monitors for information like your ein on the dark web and alerts you in real time to suspicious activity. And if you ever need help, our 247 business tech support has you covered. Let us be your IT department so you can focus on the business you love. Visit norton.com businesstoday.