50 Shades of Brown w/ DoKnow & Jakarta

Summary

DOPE AS USUAL Podcast

Episode: "50 Shades of Brown w/ DoKnow & Jakarta"
Hosts: Marty O'Neill & Thomas Araujo
Guests: DoKnow, Jakarta
Date: February 3, 2026

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Overview

This episode of the DOPE AS USUAL podcast is a riotous, free-flowing conversation featuring comedians DoKnow and Jakarta, touching on everything from pop culture and personal anecdotes to dark humor, cultural clashes, and reflections on success. The group explores controversial topics with their signature irreverence, blends sharp wit with storytelling, and never shies away from self-deprecation or touching the boundaries of taste. All in all, it’s a wild, high-energy hangout that showcases their comedic chemistry and close friendship.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jewish Influence & Entertainment

• Hosts and guests joke about Jewish influence in entertainment and society, riffing on tropes and stereotypes, but quickly veer into self-aware, meta-humor acknowledging their backgrounds.
  • "They control the earth. I was saying the weather." – (B, 00:50)
  • Brief sidebar on the writers of The Big Bang Theory and the generational appeal of certain sitcoms.

Catholic vs. Muslim Dark Humor

• Pushes boundaries with jokes about Catholic priests, terrorism, and offensive stereotypes; the guests debate which is “worse,” morphing into a conversation about survival, trauma, and making light of heavy subjects.
  • "Would you prefer being touched by a priest or bombed by a Muslim?" – (A, 02:57)

Animal Combat Hypotheticals

• The group riffs on absurd “bear vs. man” hypotheticals, with much debate about bear mace and survival tactics, ultimately devolving into a bit about gay subculture and cocaine adventures.
  • "If a bear is coming to me...and I have the Bear Maze...he's done and he's running to it..." – (A, 04:39)
  • Conversation shifts into drug-fueled stories and stereotypical humor.

Drugs, Masculinity, and Friendship

• Confessional, comedic takes on drug use among friends, with a running joke: "Coke does gay."
  • "When you do cocaine you automatically sometimes do a little gay." – (A, 05:31)
  • Discussion of mutual experiences, party stories, and the blurred lines between masculine bravado and vulnerability.

Geography, Ethnicity, and Stereotypes

• Rapid-fire trivia, friendly mockery over who knows more about world geography, and playful jabs about Mexican and Indonesian backgrounds.
  • "Are you Mexican?" / "It's in your blood. Pero that's true. Come on. Yeah." – (B & C, 07:35)

Circumcision & Coming-of-Age Stories

• Jakarta recounts being circumcised at age 12—a traumatic yet culturally significant experience—layered with humor and ribbing from the group.
  • "'I wake up halfway and I see the doctor cutting my dick... my uncle was holding me down, he's laughing.'" – (C, 15:15)

Food, Poverty, and Family Memories

• Food as cultural identity: What would you eat for life? Fried rice, tacos, burritos, and pizza get spirited defenses.
  • The group trades "poor but clean" stories, poking fun at the stereotypes of both Indonesia and Mexico.
  • "Indonesians are lazy is what – is what?" – (B, 16:55)

Pop Culture & Movies

• Extended riff on favorite movies, sitcoms, and generational divides over shows like Seinfeld, Big Bang Theory, Harry Potter, Blood In Blood Out, Step Brothers, etc. Each guest shares the movies they could watch endlessly—with plenty of ridicule for the “gay” or “basic” picks.
  • "Harry Potter? Get the f*** out of here, bro." – (C, 60:13)
  • Hot takes: "South Park over Family Guy!" (A, 72:29); "Tropics Thunder" and "Old Boy" get special mentions.

Growing Up, Trauma, and Friendship

• Stories about rough upbringings in Merced and elsewhere—early exposure to drugs, trauma, and street life—with humor as a coping mechanism.
  • "You smoked meth before?" – (C, 90:27)
  • "I took a dab at 15..." – (A, 88:59)
• Touching moment about the loss of a close friend bringing DoKnow and Jakarta together.
  • "We actually met when our boy passed away..." – (A, 134:12)

Sex, Gender, and Taboo Topics

• Chaotic, no-holds-barred conversation about gay experiences, threesomes, masculinity (“gay by association”), and the comedy of awkward sex stories.
  • "You shared the makeshift bong with him. You're gay." – (C, 151:05)

Humiliation, Stand-Up, and Stage Stories

• Tales of bombing on stage, the importance of comedic support among friends, and the anxiety of performing while high.
  • "Your heart drops to your dick." – (A, 74:29)
  • "Even though you bombed, you bombed perfectly. Yeah, you Hiroshima'd this situation." – (B, 156:05)

Culture Clash: Religion, Identity & Parody

• Non-stop jokes about Muslim, Jewish, and Catholic practices; hijab/niqab; and outlandish queries about sex, food, and religious taboos—often toeing the line, occasionally deeply introspective.
  • “Are you allowed to have kids in Muslim countries?” – (B, 126:05)
  • “How does Allah look?” – (A, 108:13)
  • The tension between assimilation, pride, and family expectation is a running meta-joke.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [02:57] A: “Would you prefer being touched by a priest, a Catholic priest or being bombed by a Muslim?”
• [05:31] A: "When you do cocaine you automatically sometimes do a little gay."
• [15:15] C: “I wake up halfway and I see the doctor cutting my d***... my uncle was holding me down, he’s laughing... it was a traumatic experience in my life.”
• [25:00] C & A: “No, that’s what I’m talking about, how dry they are.” “Yeah, and it’s just... it’s hard that it doesn’t retain a lot of...”
• [38:03] B: “You’re 6’4”, fool.”
• [39:39] A: “They’re at my comedy show, bought tickets to come see me, and Jakarta thinks he needs to confirm with their that me and him have a podcast...”
• [60:13] C: “Harry Potter? Get the f*** out of here, bro.”
• [72:29] A: "South Park by far is way better [than Family Guy].”
• [91:24] C: “I jacked off when I was, like, in sixth grade. First time.”
• [122:13] B: “I saw him... in San Francisco... off a mirror, I see him gay as f***, very fabulously gay. And he sees me and ducks under the table. Last time, I know he’s gay.”
• [136:34] B: “So many of my homies live outside or they’re missing or some s***.”

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Cultural Stereotype Riffing: [00:10] - [05:00]
  Heavy jokes about religion, stereotypes, and sitcoms.

• Circumcision Story: [14:04] - [15:51]
  Jakarta's coming-of-age experience, blending trauma and comedy.

• Movie & TV Favorites Debate: [57:07] - [63:12]
  Hot takes on repeat-watch favorites; “Harry Potter” dragged.

• Drug & Party Stories: [73:00] - [90:00]
  Stand-up while high, awkward sex/party incidents, reflections on Merced’s troubled youth.

• Loss & Friendship Origin: [134:12] - [134:32]
  How tragedy brought DoKnow and Jakarta close.

• Comedy and Podcast Announcements: [96:00] - [99:05]
  Movie release (Movie Clicka), comedy special plans, DJ duo, and tour announcements.

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The Spirit & Tone

This episode pulls no punches—raw, brash, and irreverent, yet at moments revealing genuine vulnerability behind the comedy. The banter oscillates between friendly antagonism (often over “who’s the gayer friend”), self-roasting, and real talk about childhood trauma and post-glow-up hustle. Offensive humor abounds, but there’s an undercurrent of mutual respect, cultural pride, and belonging. For fans of the podcast, this is prime Dope As Usual: hilarious, unpredictable, and uniquely personal.

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Live Show & Podcast Updates

• Chisme Uno Podcast drops every Tuesday at 4pm
• Comedy Tour: First solo tour—cities include Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, Sacramento, Modesto, Salinas, and more
  • Next show: BREA Improv, February 6th
  • Live Show: Flappers, February 19th (with Jakarta)
• DJ Project: The “Malleo Bros”—multiple gigs upcoming; house/EDM influences

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Closing Thoughts

If you love podcasts where the line between comedy, confession, and chaos is gloriously blurry—and if you don’t mind some truly off-color humor—this is a must-listen entry in the DOPE AS USUAL saga. DoKnow and Jakarta’s chemistry practically hijacks the show, keeping the energy manic, heartfelt, and always just slightly unhinged.

Transcript

[A]

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect, Perfect. Know, Jakarta has this theory that. That was by. By the little hat people.

[B]

By the little hat people.

[A]

You know, like your cameraman.

[B]

We are Jewish. Remember that?

[A]

I forgot. You know, you don't like Yola no more. Good.

[B]

Yeah, dude. Yeah, probably. They control the earth.

[C]

I was saying the weather.

[B]

If they control the weather, the earth and our finances and our movies.

[C]

They've been doing great with entertainment, by the way.

[B]

They've been cr. You know, great writers, very goofy, very fun.

[A]

Very fun.

[B]

It's like the. It's like the Mexican trails. You walk into a party like, oh, this show is cool, but that one might stab me.

[A]

Yeah, so there's two.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Stay away from that guy.

[A]

Was, Was, Was. Did a Jewish guy ride the Big Bang theory?

[C]

Yeah, all of them are. All of them.

[B]

You mean, like the actual theory?

[C]

No, no, no, no. The show.

[B]

They wrote the show for sure.

[C]

Because I just told him about the show. He just started watching it.

[B]

Oh, I can't stand. You love it.

[A]

Okay, don't. Don't make it. You make it seem like you're. I. I finished. I finished big back there, by the way. Did you really great. It was written great.

[B]

Oh, I can't stand that. Really show.

[C]

One of the best. I think I love that show.

[B]

Boring.

[A]

It's not boring at all.

[B]

It's the guy from Roseanne, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, so boring.

[C]

No, no, no, no. The guy from Roseanne.

[B]

Yeah, it is the kid.

[C]

Josh Jay Galecki.

[A]

I don't know the guy.

[B]

The guy with the glasses and the curly hair that's on Big Bang Theory. It's about the smart guys and the guy that says sh. The Sheldon kid. Right.

[C]

Okay. The food from. I know what you're talking about. These darlings, they're all the same. Yeah. Yeah, they are like the ones on Blossom and. Yeah, you're not a fan. I mean, I tried. I did try.

[B]

I'll say that.

[C]

I feel like. I feel like.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I feel like it's a different generation's thing, you know? I like it. I mean, did Seinfeld have a laugh.

[B]

Track table does have a lot.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But funny's funny no matter what. No matter what the age. It's just maybe. Was it.

[C]

I mean, I think last shark does matter.

[A]

Okay, can I. Can I finish? Can I finish?

[C]

I'm new to this stuff. Soon.

[A]

I know. So shut the up when the big boy. They're talking over.

[C]

Shut the up.

[A]

Shut the up.

[C]

You don't tell me to shut the up.

[B]

You guys should kiss, dude.

[A]

I mean, I don't kiss Muslims.

[C]

Hey, yeah, we ain't want to kiss you neither.

[A]

Yeah, this against my religion to kiss those people.

[B]

I believe it.

[A]

Yeah, and you just say pork, so.

[B]

I'm pretty sure you guys touch children too. So you guys are down then, right?

[A]

Standing up like that with the car? Me and Jakura have this debate all the time where I'm like, okay, if you're. No, no, no.

[B]

You were a kid, go.

[A]

Would you prefer. What's it called? Would you prefer being touched by a priest, a Catholic priest or being bombed by a Muslim?

[C]

No, no, I thought it was a kid bombing.

[A]

No, no, that's not what it was. No, no, no, because your, your argument with Catholic is that our priest touch the kids, right? My argument with you is that you people, you killed people. Shut the up. Let him answered.

[B]

Go ahead. I'd rather be alive.

[C]

Okay, okay. For sure. But, but I think, I think.

[B]

Well, that's your argument. I'd rather be bombed by.

[C]

No, no, no. I'd rather be recruited by a terrorist organization than molested. Yeah, by far.

[A]

No, that was never the argument. No, the argument.

[C]

No.

[A]

See, you want to change.

[C]

Yeah, I wouldn't rather die, probably. I don't like to get touched though. I already don't like it when people touch me, you know?

[B]

All right, take a break. We're touch the shit out of this.

[A]

I'm telling you.

[C]

No, I don't. I mean, I'd rather be. I'd rather be recruited by isis.

[B]

I like the way your guys's conversations go. All right. Would you kill a gorilla with your hands? Like, this is where we're going, right?

[C]

He thinks he could do it with the knife. He won't be able to.

[A]

No, no, no, I said a bear. I said a bear.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

Okay, I said, I said if I.

[B]

Had to give me a sword, see, I might make it out. I'll get clawed to death. But he's dead too. Full clawed to what?

[C]

Death.

[B]

You're not making it up.

[C]

So.

[B]

So the main goal is, can you defeat him?

[C]

No, no, wait, wait.

[B]

A bear?

[C]

Yeah. You get one weapon. It's a hand to hand weapon.

[B]

Can I get any kind of anything else? Not a gun, no weapon. Can I get something else?

[C]

What would it be?

[B]

Like bear mace, bunch of fentanyl? I'm a right in his face.

[A]

I'm probably you right now. If a bear is coming to me and let's say he's where I'm at, like I'm where I'm at and he's at the camera. Let's say this is about what this is about.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's about four feet.

[C]

Okay, that's like six.

[A]

Like six. This is six feet.

[C]

I'm six foot six. I'm six' four. So yeah.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna start saying like that. 300 pounds. And I have the Bear Maze. Not the one that's like this, the one that you have to press with yourself. And I go like from right here. He's done and he's running to it. You're telling me he's gonna keep going the minute that touches his eyes? I don't think so.

[B]

I think he will cuz he can smell you. But I don't want to piss that.

[C]

He won't be smelling after that. It's like all peppers.

[A]

Because that's, that's the point of the Bear Maid.

[C]

Yeah. Have you seen bear clips of it?

[B]

It's scary.

[C]

That's what they call me on Tuesday.

[B]

Did they, did they call you that?

[C]

They called me that.

[B]

Is it like a gay thing?

[C]

Yeah, it's more of a coke thing.

[B]

Oh, they mean like a bear.

[A]

I think, I think I, I, I, I'm a big believer that if you do coke you do gay.

[B]

That's not true. I love coke. I never took a dick.

[A]

No, you never took a dick.

[C]

Double tap that one, buddy. Double tap that one.

[A]

But you never took a dick. But you're telling me you never been in the bathroom with a gay dude? Just you and him just doing cocaine and then it wasn't gay. But there are some more emotions. When you, when you do cocaine you automatically sometimes do a little gay. Like Jakarta sometimes ends up at a random guy's house at 6:00 in the morning. You want to know why?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because of cocaine.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's okay.

[B]

As okay.

[A]

I'm not going to a random guy's house at 6am Because I'm sober.

[C]

Who's so random? He knows my homie. My homie's a friend.

[A]

Jakarta meets up random food at a parking lot. Like he's a 14 year old boy and they're a predator. Like out of John's or like at a Food for Less. Like, like it's. You do a lot of gay little.

[C]

When it's usually a Bristol Farms.

[A]

You can't argue.

[C]

It's usually it's a nice area or a whole food.

[B]

I parked in front of one.

[C]

You never catch me at a Ross or a Rouse bro.

[B]

Yeah, that's not coke.

[C]

Food for Less. That's meth cocaine.

[B]

That's meth.

[A]

Picking up cocaine iras is crazy.

[C]

I don't pick it up. I don't even do buy it.

[B]

I don't pick it up.

[A]

But you know what I'm saying. When did you do cocaine?

[B]

I don't do it anymore, but I'll dive like you swim. That's me in a bag all night by myself. I don't do it no more.

[C]

Oh, what happened?

[B]

Because she'll die. I'm too fat. I can't wait. No, it's either fat or drugs. And I'm just fat, so I can't do that.

[C]

It is just a fatter drugs.

[B]

It's one of the.

[A]

Literally, I love.

[B]

If I got a say right now, right, this is if there was like a, you know, an eight, an eight ball real quick. I'm gonna gum 2.3 of that like this. And I pack it, like, chew and I snort the rest. And I sit there by myself and think of business plans that never happen.

[A]

How come you don't ever think of business but you just think about.

[C]

I don't do that much.

[A]

Oh, no, I know.

[C]

I've never bought an eight.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Never have.

[C]

Never my life.

[A]

But it's because you're poor. It's not because I was poor as a kid. So you're not a real co kid all the way through home.

[C]

Like a G. But then like, that's.

[B]

That's 10 seconds.

[C]

Yeah. For who, though?

[B]

For. Oh, just for me.

[C]

What do they see?

[B]

Are you Mexican?

[C]

It's in your blood. Pero that's true. Come on. Yeah.

[A]

Jakarta. Like a rare breed of Muslim Indonesian.

[C]

That does not associate my drug habits with. With my religion.

[A]

No. What, you love cocaine, but you associate it.

[C]

I don't associate it at all with terrorism. Yeah, it's okay. Whatever. It already happened. That's what earth things, you know? Yeah, that's true. You know, I like.

[B]

I like illegal, but terrorism.

[C]

Terrorism is illegal. We live in America though, pops, you know? Yeah. So it's cocaine, you know, I mean, I feel like, what's worse? Drugs and terrorism, Terrorism, they go hand in hand, though.

[B]

No, they don't. I've never bombed somebody while doing lines by myself.

[C]

Okay. I met the people selling drugs who's usually.

[B]

Oh, I met some very nice Asian men that don't bomb anything to take their kids to school.

[C]

I guess it's an opinionated thing, you know?

[A]

Very not opinionated opinion thing, you know, tribe in the middle of a bunch of mountains and telling them that one day if they kill this person, they're gonna have 40 wives.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That's way worse.

[C]

You know, I hope you know that's not how it went for me. Like, I hope you know that. Like, no one was telling me to kill myself growing up. Nothing was.

[A]

Like, that was because you're not like.

[C]

Real Osama bin Laden. That's why.

[B]

We could have.

[C]

That's. No, I couldn't have that.

[B]

No, we said, who do you want to chill with earlier? If we got to chill. What were the choices, though? What were the choices? A priest, Other guy?

[C]

No, no, it was Hitler. It was Hitler or Osama. I'm picking Osama. There's no doubt in my mind. I'm picking Osama bin Laden over Hitler. Over here. By far, bro. Kicking it. He's probably way cooler. His family's hella rich.

[B]

But I will say this.

[A]

We could be doing.

[B]

Hitler was up doing lines a lot.

[A]

Adderall boys, the history.

[B]

He was giving methods the whole time.

[C]

So you fools would probably want to.

[B]

Kick over here, get why he made a rash decisions.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Have you made a tweaker at the store? They'll kill 6,000.

[A]

It's a lot of fools at it. Like, Paul Escobar did a lot of horrible.

[B]

Yeah, man. Oh, wait, he's gone.

[A]

He's gone.

[B]

Good.

[C]

Oh, that food's outside of it.

[B]

Yeah, he's on. Okay, so we had a stuffed animals.

[A]

Yeah, Pablo, he did horrible.

[B]

He's also a terrorist, guys. Super.

[C]

He was, I think. Don't you think he's one of the cool ones?

[B]

It's crazy because, like, nobody rocks. Like, Osama sweater. Could you imagine?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So look. So look. So this is Ali. Shout out some food, hit me up. Because I guess they. They try to copy the brand and they put Osama bin Laden on a teeth.

[A]

And it's like a card. If you wanted me up.

[C]

They hit me up and they said, like, oh, Q model for this. And I checked it out and I was like, bro, don't ever text me again. Like, with this stupid bro. He put Osama. I'm a Muslim. He wanted me to walk around with that. But my dad would have whipped my ass, bro. Like, what the.

[B]

But also kind of the same thing.

[A]

Murdering. I'm saying, let's think about it like this. The nicest one out of this sweater is definitely Chapo. Yeah, yeah, because, you know, because they preached a lot of. A lot of, you know, like, leave the woman. And kids, Pablo Escobar was definitely not one to leave him.

[B]

No, I'm saying, like, they're drug dealers. I with drug deal. Drugs are awesome. It's just what gets caused after. It's like, yo, I sell weed. Kill that. You sell on the street. Damn, that's a little too much, man.

[C]

So it goes back to what I was saying.

[B]

Terrorism, terrorists. I'm hanging with them all day.

[C]

They go hand in hand.

[A]

I would choose them over anyone.

[B]

I would choose them over any. I would choose him over a regular muscle. No, I'm just kidding.

[A]

I ain't gonna lie. Pablo Escobar was like, let's kick it. But you gotta leave Jakarta back. I'm leaving Jakarta back.

[C]

Yeah. Just to kick it with him. But you gonna suck his dick.

[A]

No.

[C]

You want to kick with that for so bad?

[B]

Hey, coke does gay. Dude, you said I'm not with the King now. I know, but you're gonna be with him.

[C]

If El Chapo told you right now, hey, do a line.

[A]

No, I wouldn't do it.

[C]

You would say no.

[B]

I'm telling you, that cut you up.

[C]

To a billion pieces to the next person that came.

[A]

Well, he likes men of honor, does he? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Bro.

[A]

Osama Laden likes little boys like, you know this.

[C]

You don't know him like that.

[B]

Oh, he's here.

[A]

Do you think he's really under the sea?

[C]

You.

[B]

You didn't bring his body back. You dumped him in the ocean. That's some.

[A]

They dumped it in American?

[C]

No, I think they brought it back.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Then they dumped that food.

[A]

No, no, they dumped him. After they killed him, they dumped it. I swear, like, that's propaganda.

[C]

I was sold. That's what I believe.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You know what? You know what?

[B]

Alive.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There is some, I think about, like, I'm wondering, like, is O Chopper really living, like, in a cage like you said? You telling me the most? One of the most richest men in the world.

[B]

Oh, he's gone. He's doing his own thing. You know how much people like money? Hey, let him out. I'll give you half a billion dollars.

[C]

Half a billion.

[A]

At some point, he was the richest man in the world, but he's.

[C]

I'll kill myself for.

[A]

In Colorado. Right? He's in that one, like, maximum security. I know a lot of random facts, bro.

[B]

Do you really know a lot of things? All right, you ready?

[A]

Dolphins are rapists.

[B]

Trivia. What?

[C]

Don't even.

[B]

Bro, would you say dolphin don't do.

[C]

That trivia, which is. I'm a professional.

[B]

Dolphins are creeps. You ever seen.

[C]

They're gay sharks. They're gay sharks.

[B]

They're gay sharks.

[C]

You know you know. You know, there's a bunch of horses.

[A]

Are transgender because they have babies.

[C]

They do. It doesn't make him transgender, though, does it?

[B]

They have both. They're hermaphrodites.

[A]

Yeah, hermaphrodites. I don't know what that word means, but.

[B]

Yeah, it means you got both, man.

[A]

Oh, I.

[C]

With a few in my life.

[A]

Jakarta's a hermaphrodite. He's Muslim in Indonesia.

[C]

I don't even know how to say it.

[B]

All right, you want some trivia?

[A]

Yeah, come on.

[C]

I'm really. I'm really good with geography and Asian geography. If we could pick specifics.

[B]

Oh, that's not fair. I was gonna go that round. I'm so glad I didn't.

[A]

And by the way. And by the way. And by the way, he's not like. He's like dirty Asian food. So, like, if you have any Chinese jokes, just know he won't back you up if the Chinese community comes at you, because I did this with my eyes, and he didn't back me up. But when he called our Mexican people spics, I backed him up.

[C]

I didn't. And stop saying, I called your mama spic.

[A]

You did call my mama spic.

[C]

I said it in the group she was in, like. No, it wasn't only her.

[A]

You suspect they're all spics.

[B]

It wasn't like.

[C]

But not individually. That's rude.

[A]

I did, but I do this, and you're mad.

[C]

Those aren't my people.

[A]

And all your uncles touched you when you were 7. Remember you 12.

[C]

12.

[B]

When he was 12, he reached up.

[A]

No, no. So when he was 12, him. All his uncles got together and took him to go get circumcised.

[C]

He's so weird. That's not how.

[A]

Shut the up. And when they were trying to figure out how much to take off, his uncle grabbed. It was this tea with his teeth.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

With his two hands. He bit it off for a Phil Curry and then Curry and then the doctor.

[C]

Okay, so what happened was I got circumcised at 12.

[B]

At 12.

[C]

I know. It's. It's pretty situation.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

It's the night before you jogging in place. What's happening? You shaking it out?

[C]

I was scared as.

[B]

Yeah, I need to know what was.

[C]

Going through your head. All right, so usually in. In the. In the Indonesia Muslim culture, when you get circumcised to throw a party afterwards.

[A]

Look at y' all wanting to be Jewish.

[B]

That's the gayest.

[A]

Look at y' all wanting to be Jewish. Let me see your teeth.

[C]

They want to be Jewish.

[A]

They get c. They want to be Jewish.

[C]

How do we want to be Jewish? Nothing about religion. That's.

[A]

I do, I do.

[C]

You tell the gaps between your teeth. I know nothing about.

[A]

Look at your lip key. Zoom in on his lips.

[B]

Zoom in on his lips.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[C]

So what happened? Very self conscious. You very bullying.

[A]

Okay, so what happened?

[C]

Okay. And then they give me honesty.

[A]

Sorry. Your uncle told you to get naked, take a photo and send it to the doctor.

[C]

I walked in the doctor's office and everyone's kicking.

[A]

I don't know why they're there at.

[B]

The doctor, but it's cool.

[C]

Like keeping it. What's up with you, bro?

[B]

No, no, that's not cool.

[C]

But keep going. Okay. And then I have anesthesia and then I wake up halfway and I see the doctor cutting my dick. And I go up and I go, wow. Then my uncle had pushed me. He was like holding me down. He's laughing, you know, he's like, haha. Since we woke up, I was traumatic experience in my life.

[B]

It's not funny at all.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

Did you fight him?

[C]

The party after was dope as.

[B]

Did you fight him?

[C]

Gotta fight him. What did he do wrong?

[B]

Laughed at you. She got your dick cut open.

[C]

That's the regular thing. But then with the Muslims I. So I was down with the movement.

[B]

If I break my leg and my homie, the ambulance is fixing me and my homies. Haha, I'm a beach.

[C]

No, no, no. I woke up trying to stop the. The doctor.

[B]

I get it.

[C]

Yeah. I'm happy with how it looks now.

[A]

What a Muslims. What a Muslim and Indonesians do with the extra skin that you put under your pillow. Like, like.

[C]

No, that goes away.

[A]

And then when you wake up, you have like a new bomb.

[C]

I probably donated to some Mexican kids that need sweaters.

[A]

Oh, we don't need sweaters.

[C]

You do need sweaters.

[A]

Actually, we have sweaters. We're acting like Indonesia is not a third world country.

[C]

It is. Why are you talking about my country though?

[A]

I've never seen nobody.

[C]

Where the are you from?

[A]

Mexico. Mexico City. Yes. It's way better than Jakarta.

[C]

Dude, you're from Mexico.

[A]

He's from Jakarta and he said it smells like there.

[C]

It's a third world country. What could you do? The pollution is really bad.

[B]

But also, can I ask you a question? Why?

[C]

Why what?

[B]

Why Not a lot of jobs.

[C]

Listen, listen.

[A]

Ready?

[B]

Ready. I grew up poor. My room was clean.

[C]

Yeah, I got time. My room's clean, too.

[B]

All right, then.

[C]

Yeah. Those people over there don't have rooms.

[B]

No, no, no. All right. They clean up the outside where you sleep at.

[C]

Where? Where? Yeah, the alley, into a pile. It's tough, I guess, but.

[B]

I know, but. Smells horrendous. But you get it, though, right? No, not really. I do. I do. Yeah. I'm so poor, I'm going to make it clean, at least. I got nothing to do today.

[A]

Indonesians are lazy is what. Is what?

[B]

Oh, you need some Mexicans in your country is all I hear.

[C]

I've been to Mexico.

[B]

No, you need Mexicans in that country.

[C]

Third World sometimes.

[A]

You went to TJ to go buy.

[C]

Isn't that the capital of Mexico?

[A]

You want a TJ to go by the capital. Mexico.

[C]

Capital Mexico.

[A]

You're stupid. No, it's not.

[C]

And the embassy's right next to Hong Kong.

[B]

Oh, just tripping, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Geography.

[A]

No, no. Yeah, he went. Oh, yeah.

[C]

I know nothing about Central American or South American geography.

[A]

All right, here we go.

[B]

Brazil.

[C]

Yeah, I'm just kidding. That's the biggest. Ready?

[B]

What year was America founded?

[C]

Oh, 1776.

[B]

What do you think?

[A]

July 6th. July 4th. Was that the day of our independence?

[B]

Not even July 4th was July.

[A]

July 6th.

[B]

Yeah. No, he's right. It's 7. 1776. There's no answers up there. You can't look.

[A]

No, no, you can't look.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

No, no, don't look. You guys are up.

[A]

All right, go.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

What are the seven continents?

[C]

I got this.

[A]

All right, go ahead. You can have it.

[C]

Antarctica. Australia, North America, South America, Europe and Asia. And then there's one more. Africa.

[B]

Who's got the most Olympic medals?

[A]

American Michael Phelps. Oh, okay.

[B]

I didn't know if he was gonna get it.

[C]

It's because he swim.

[B]

I know. That's why I did it. Just in case if he didn't get.

[C]

I was gonna swims.

[B]

Yeah. Also, what the. Well, I tried to swim the other day, and I thought, how does he do it? I was it. I can't breathe. It hurts my back.

[A]

I swam today just knowing that my lungs were gonna get ruined being in this room. Every time I come here, I leave high with the munchies.

[C]

You're down £20, right?

[A]

25, actually.

[B]

I can't swim. Did you swim here with your family?

[A]

I didn't swim here.

[B]

Are you sure? Because it looks like it, dude.

[C]

But spongebob, I thought I came here.

[B]

David Hasselhoff. That's him.

[A]

But I woke up early. But I definitely woke up early to go swim.

[C]

Before I thought I came to America.

[B]

It is the longest here. You hold on to it.

[A]

Well, yeah. You can't swim in your nasty ass Indonesian water because you'll die.

[B]

Sludge.

[C]

They actually have a lot of water parks in Indonesia.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Pretty nice.

[B]

This is the only clean natter is at the park. Is that what's going on? It's like Korea. Like, look, we have food in the stores just in the front. Would you.

[C]

Would you ever visit if they gave you a chance?

[A]

North Korea?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I get mistaken for that, man, all the time. Because my haircut, it's incorporated. Incredible. I get the Kim Jong unca a lot often, actually.

[A]

Have they ever called you a stud?

[B]

You know, they call both of us that.

[A]

They call me a stud.

[C]

They call me that when you're not looking, man.

[A]

They never called me Jakarta. Looks like a son.

[C]

They call me a D. If you had.

[B]

Do you have hand tattoos?

[C]

No, I have no tattoos.

[B]

If you had hand tattoos, you definitely. You'll be a student. They always have a rose and like a. And a rosary coming up. And they're always holding like this.

[A]

What would be your stud name?

[C]

What's a. What is a stud name?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

What's your real name?

[B]

Thomas.

[A]

Thomas.

[C]

Thomas is already a guy's name.

[A]

Yeah. Thomas a guy.

[C]

I think we all have guys. Yeah.

[B]

You're talking about a girl. What's the Ashley stud name?

[A]

Ash.

[B]

Okay, I take it back.

[C]

Asher. No, I've met a fool named Asher. I've never met a f. Oh, Ash Ketchum. Pokemon.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And he was a girl or a guy.

[C]

You couldn't tell he was a guy for sure.

[B]

I know he was.

[C]

He was a boy I knew.

[A]

Was he?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

He ain't gonna think Pokemon.

[C]

All he had was a new episode.

[B]

Would be him and another. But he wasn't never dude.

[A]

What do you think battling is battling Wasn't bro.

[C]

Back in the day. All right.

[B]

In the.

[C]

Pokemon universe, if I'm maneuvering and I'm chilling, I see Lobato. I was telling you want to battle.

[A]

It's.

[C]

I mean practically after bro. That's.

[B]

This is the.

[C]

The battle.

[A]

Bro. Bro.

[C]

They battle so much out there. You don't think this was like, ah, Pikachu attack, you know? No. I guess we just view differently.

[B]

Maybe Geodude. Yeah, maybe Geodude.

[A]

Do they have hands on. Oh my God. You look like Rock.

[C]

Rock.

[A]

Brock. Sorry.

[C]

Nothing like Brock. You look more like Brock because you have chinky eyes.

[A]

Oh, you can say.

[C]

I was kind of scared to say that.

[B]

As well say whatever you want. Dude, chill. No. Hell no. That dude. Hey, if it's fun and it doesn't mean mean anything.

[C]

Mean facts, right? Facts.

[B]

Like I call my Mexican friends picks all the time.

[C]

Yeah, but you're. You're Mexican.

[B]

Yeah, kind of.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It depends what room I'm in.

[C]

So if you see if. If you're.

[B]

It depends for real do I can blend? I blend. I look white like this. Sometimes if I have a button up.

[A]

I look like I'm letting you know right now. Nobody thinks you're white or Italian.

[C]

I can see Italian.

[B]

Rosie's grandma thought I was white so day she died.

[A]

And how also you walking in with.

[B]

Like Marty in the room all the time.

[A]

Are you walking in with Marty in the room?

[C]

I'll do.

[A]

I'll back in Merced.

[B]

Yeah, Marty will rub off on me. But no, I was this white my whole life due till football. And then I just turned this color so they just call me W. That's my whole name.

[C]

Default settings, default settings. Default settings.

[B]

The Jewish came out and the brown took over.

[A]

How do you not. You're really like color coordinated. That's your color.

[B]

You really color coordinate.

[C]

Yeah, I mean I was darker back in like back in the day. Cuz I used to be in this the sun more.

[A]

And then what happened? You got like depressed.

[C]

I didn't get depressed.

[B]

My life. You're pretty color coordinated. Crazy as.

[A]

What.

[C]

What do you mean by I'm color coordinated?

[A]

Like. Like.

[C]

Like trying to dis.

[A]

Like for the inside of my thighs look totally different than this dirty. That's what the you say they said my thighs are mad white because that's the. Have you seen my thighs? You want to see him?

[B]

How are the side of your thighs white?

[A]

Oh, my thigh's not white.

[B]

It was the lower thigh. I thought you were talking about the fat guy upper. Let me see.

[A]

Chub rub white.

[C]

Let me see. No, it's white. That shit's dark.

[A]

This is white.

[C]

You see this? Let me see.

[B]

Let me see.

[C]

Let me see that dick crazy.

[B]

Dude. That's just nuts.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[C]

See.

[A]

What about you? You. Why do you have a.

[C]

It's all around dark.

[B]

This F has a silhouette of a dick tattooed on his leg.

[C]

Did you not read the tattoo on his knee?

[B]

No. What does it say?

[C]

Did you cover that?

[A]

No.

[B]

I need a la B. I need a.

[A]

Bad with needs.

[B]

Bad with needs.

[C]

He said I need a. I need a bbw.

[B]

That's what it said. Chicken wing tattoo.

[A]

Yeah, because I lost a bet to a black guy. That's not to get a fried chicken, you know.

[C]

Can I.

[B]

What was this? What was his tattoo?

[A]

He would have got a taco. Yeah. But he wouldn't have been able to.

[B]

See it either way. So that's. That's.

[A]

It was a lose. Lose for me anyway.

[B]

You forgot already, huh?

[C]

No, no, no. If you could. If you could eat one dish throughout your whole life, but you could have just burrito. Different. That's okay.

[A]

Can I tell you what this would be?

[C]

So it would be burrito, but then you would have different variations of it throughout your whole life. Would it be a burrito?

[B]

Pizza Burrito.

[C]

Pizza burrito for you. What would it be? Some dick.

[A]

What about yours?

[B]

Hurry.

[C]

Some dick in your mouth.

[B]

Boy.

[A]

Get a little petito right now, huh? Especially your dick. All touched by your.

[C]

They didn't touch my dick.

[B]

Keep going back and you're like, I wish they touched his dick. So I'd have more to talk about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This imagining.

[C]

You know, what if. No, never mind.

[B]

Did you like when you kept the. The foreskin, did you keep it?

[C]

No, it's just.

[B]

I would have pinned it to the wall.

[C]

Little Mexican kids wearing it in Mexico City.

[A]

Yeah, he kept that.

[C]

Okay. But for me it'd be fried rice because no one asked me this question that I asked.

[A]

Yeah. Nobody gives a fried rice. Fried rice. You're trying to be Asian so bad. Not curry. Nothing. Whack.

[C]

No fried. Fried rice. It'd be fried rice.

[A]

Butter chicken. Nothing.

[C]

No. Because that's butter chicken. There's no other variation of it. Fried rice. Fried rice is probably the best Asian dish you could get. And you.

[B]

You do. That's. That's true.

[C]

But I just pick it ass.

[B]

Because that's the worst. That's the pick you're going to pick out of the whole earth. Yes. It could go with any meat.

[C]

Pause. Right. Any type of vegetable could go in there, bro. I've had salted fish, fried rice, beef. Fried rice. Fish. Fried rice. Shrimp, fried rice. Name any meat you can. Fried rice.

[B]

Bubble gump. Right now.

[C]

Yeah. Steamed shrimp. Fried shrimp.

[A]

I definitely got the same lips too. Look at you, you nasty.

[C]

I think I need to talk to a dermatologist. That's about it.

[B]

What's wrong? What are you talking about? Your lip.

[C]

It's just purple. That's.

[A]

No, that. That's what I'm talking about. How dry they are.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's just. It's hard that it doesn't retain a lot of.

[B]

Even when we listen to no but.

[A]

Look, but like, if you watch through the whole episode, Jakarta, like when he's not talking, he's gonna be like, it's not hot. Waiting for a dick to go in his mouth. Sucker. Open up, baby.

[C]

Here, baby.

[B]

Hey, what's up, guys? Taking a moment from this episode to talk about one of our sponsors, and this is my bookie. It is super bowl week. Get ready. All the football fans out there, you already know, Seahawks, Patriots. It's going down in Santa Clara this weekend and I'm so stoked that I will actually be there. My bookie, a place where the prop bets actually matter. So the super bowl prop board you've probably seen on Jimmy Kimmel, my bookie. Okay, the prop board is here. Guys. It is super bowl time. Guys, this is it. End of the season. I know it went fast and we got to wait till August again, but just make the best of it. This is the last week. And remember, guys, you don't have to bet at the beginning of the episode. You can bet during the first half, the second half, and during super bowl halftime show. If you don't want to watch it, go bet on the live casino. My bookies bet back bonus. If you bet 500 bucks, say you bet up to 500 and you lose a one time, get my money back get out of jail free card. Who else does that? Yes, you can bet up to 500 with the bet back bonus. You can get your money back if you lose, but you have to use code dope as usual. And if you don't, you just lost. All right. Also from my boogie lock of the season. So basically there's four can't lose bets. And if you hit on any of those, you can double up your money. If you bet 10 bucks, you double up. It's that easy. If you're going to watch the game and you like betting, you might gambling. You might as well use my bookie.

[A]

I would. I. I think I could probably eat tacos for the rest of my life.

[B]

You know, these are like chicken wrap.

[A]

Wrap.

[B]

That's why I picked it. I think fried rice is fun. But you said Asian.

[C]

It's. It's the smartest. It's. It's the. It's the smart.

[A]

Do you eat fried rice with your hands?

[C]

No, I use the spoon.

[A]

Okay. No, you're such full of bro.

[C]

I eat white rice on my hands.

[A]

Yeah, I've been in your house, Steve.

[C]

White rice. Yeah. You want my hands and like if I have chicken Ethiopian it is. Yeah, shout out my Ethiopians and echurians.

[B]

This was already. They don't eat much, but when they do, they eat with their hands. For sure? Yeah, for sure.

[A]

The. You mean they don't even.

[B]

Their whole country's starving to death, man. That was the joke. I'm kidding. You ever see South Park?

[A]

I've been to his house before. There's no chairs, just a bunch of rugs. I'm telling you right now. And the table is this high for like to your knees. And when he offered me some cake, he offered me some cake. I was like, I suppose I'm like.

[C]

Such a liar, bro. You walk in my house, you look to the left, there's a dining table with six chairs. Chair.

[A]

There's no dining table.

[B]

Six.

[A]

He full of.

[C]

I'm full of.

[A]

And also. Okay, do you remember high school? You remember them big ass lights that you could hit and they. They. They would lift up? Like if you tap the lights, it would just lift up.

[B]

What kind of fancy you got?

[A]

No, the high school, you know, put your car has high school lights, cafeteria lights in his house, they go up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How'd your car to tell him, man.

[B]

I ain't never seen nothing like that.

[C]

Why you saying I don't have a chairs in my house?

[B]

I like that.

[A]

You're looking for proof that he has places to sit. Marty, can you look up chairs from high school? High school lights in the hallways.

[C]

So you know, he's talking about. He's talking about the fluorescent lights. The ones at the top, they have the classrooms. Okay, I have one in my house, but which one?

[B]

You mean the long rectangle ones?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like at the doctor's office.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yay. That's what I said.

[C]

That's like. That's like super money saving. And it's like very easy. Like it's accessible.

[B]

It's super money saving.

[C]

My uncle came through and he made it.

[B]

That's the most Mexican I've heard you say.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Made this, like, put it on.

[C]

I didn't make my own shoes. I had Jay's. There were your cousins.

[B]

Cousins made the shoes.

[A]

That's what happened.

[C]

You know, when I was in Indonesia, I was trying to look for those who's. The foods that probably make phones or they make Gucci because, you know, factors out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't find nobody.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Those are. Those are very creepy.

[C]

That's. Yeah, but mine's just covered.

[A]

No, it's not Jakarta.

[C]

How are you telling me about my home?

[A]

I live here.

[B]

I stare at.

[C]

He's literally just there today.

[A]

The fluorescence, it was up like, you know, like when you live in a normal apartment, like, you could turn off one side of the lights. Jakarta has to turn off the whole house. Like it's only one switch.

[C]

That's not how it goes neither.

[B]

I like that you keep lying about it.

[C]

Where the dining table is, there's a light and then there's another light on the other side of the living room. So I do not know what the. This fat piece, but it's controlled by one.

[A]

It's controlled by one.

[C]

It's not controlled by one. There's. You've been in my house. Oh, I forgot. You're the one that made the house. Huh? You're the one that did it.

[B]

You did Home Edition. You did make that, yeah.

[C]

No, you. This is the laziest fat Mexican you existed. All this I could do. Get Eat dick. Stop lying on my house, bro. People going to think I live in a hut.

[A]

You do.

[B]

Turns out he. I do live in a hut.

[A]

And his brothers, they all share one big bad together.

[C]

All right, now this is. Shut the fuck up.

[A]

Hey, when you think of. When you think of like the Muslim community, what's the first thing that could. Like, like, I've already say Muslim. What would be the next word?

[B]

White clothes.

[C]

That's real. That's real. That's real. That's automatic.

[B]

I know.

[A]

If you could do a push three carpet for him to take for Friday prayer.

[B]

Yeah, I got you, dude.

[A]

Five times a day.

[C]

A what?

[B]

Wait, did you do the five times a day?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No, he does.

[C]

It's not the.

[B]

Do you do the five times a day prayers?

[C]

I did Today I locked in two.

[B]

Today I locked into. Wait, don't you have to do with.

[A]

The same.

[B]

Five back to back?

[C]

No, it's different times the day, brother.

[B]

You're very, very loyal, cuz. You know what's crazy? I can't remember.

[C]

No, I don't. I'm not hitting on five. Like every day, you know, I try my best. Yeah.

[B]

Do you? Not all the way to heaven.

[C]

It's. I don't think it's like that. I don't know. I don't think. I don't think there's certain.

[A]

Like you ever pray then jack off or jack off and then pray.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

I'm not going to answer that.

[B]

Why do you think it's a carpet? For cleanup?

[A]

No, no. He wants.

[B]

So disrespectful.

[A]

He wants. He wants to know. He wants to know if you can make him a push tree carpet so you could take to the mosque. Why not? You can't pray on this.

[B]

Just put it put across like a. Like a Christian cross.

[C]

What about. Are you guys ever gonna work with Ice? If you guys do send six to his house to hold you down just to find who's you guys, you, you and all your family. Every single last one.

[A]

Especially.

[C]

Especially you.

[B]

Yo, just stay at home if you don't have papers. That's what my family does.

[C]

I think that sucks, bro. I want to stay at home because you don't have papers is sucks. Just can't even kick it, you know?

[B]

I mean, you kicking it how people.

[A]

Come your mom feels when she can't leave without her job, huh?

[C]

No, she could leave any time. Didn't you lock your mom in the closet? Cuz she couldn't come outside cuz you were scared I was going to grab her.

[B]

Did you really?

[C]

She missed her Zumba class.

[A]

He tried to say my.

[B]

She missed her Zumba class.

[A]

That's my joke.

[C]

Terrible how you. That's not your joke.

[A]

That is my joke.

[C]

Oh, the one of the closet. Yes, the Zumba one was mine entirely.

[A]

The simple moment landed.

[C]

Don't give a. About the closet. Nobody give a. About that closet joke boy.

[A]

For the only reason right now. The only reason.

[B]

The only reason what?

[A]

I'm not even going to say. I'm not even going to say cuz.

[C]

You know, you about to say something too far.

[A]

I'm not going to say something too far. I'm just. I'm just saying your mom wishes she could do zumba, but her ankles might show on a move or something.

[B]

Wait, your mom wor at the thing?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, she was a hijab.

[A]

She's like a ninja. Her.

[C]

She doesn't look like a.

[B]

Do you ever ask her like, do you not want to wear that shit?

[C]

Yeah, I do. Yeah, she's right at the house.

[A]

His mom. His mom's a y N. Oh, really?

[C]

She doesn't. She's not messed up. She's not messed up.

[B]

She's not masked up. No, she does have a he.

[C]

I don't know why you keep talking about my mother.

[B]

I love it that you call him almost lying about it.

[C]

Call her a spic, bro. Stop saying that. I called the whole group of spic.

[B]

Technically, individually, we'll go back to this. But technically you did? Yeah, it's like, yo, this whole room's lame. Well, yeah, I did call you lame.

[C]

I don't think it gets hot, bro. It's pretty cool.

[B]

I like how you went back to. You know, there's no way it's Cool. It's hot. What?

[A]

The fabric.

[B]

You been a Halloween? You ever been a guy Halloween? It's hot under there.

[C]

I've never did Halloween in my life.

[B]

You never?

[A]

That's not true at all.

[C]

I'm Muslim, bro.

[A]

That's not true at all. He's. I spent Halloween with him last year.

[C]

But what did we do?

[A]

We went to the club and got drunk as.

[C]

So how was I spending Halloween? Halloween is going trick or treat.

[B]

No, we're talking about a mask. I said putting the mask on. You said you never dressed up.

[C]

I never dressed up by put mask on.

[B]

Like right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So wait, what a celebrated Halloween? When you say have you ever celebrated Halloween? I'm thinking I was get candy and.

[B]

Dress as Superman or something crazy.

[C]

I only got candy from like school when I was in school.

[B]

That's cool. Damn muscles are not fun. You got to pray five times a day. You got to cover your whole body.

[C]

Don't eat pork.

[B]

Can't eat pork. I mean, that's just.

[C]

Oh, then your favorite. I mean, you know, you. We can't do no gay. I know you guys love that.

[B]

Oh, man. Yeah, Mexicans love the gation.

[A]

And your uncles, but Mexicans and your uncles?

[B]

Yeah, they do.

[C]

And your cousins.

[A]

My cousin aren't gay.

[C]

Wait, do Mexicans not with their cousins.

[A]

No, that's you. That's you.

[B]

No, no, that's. That's somewhere.

[C]

Oh, no, but it's like uncles and nieces. That's. That's still.

[B]

No, no, no. It's. You're allowed to have multiple families. As a Mexican and then just no one trips. No, no. They trip when they find out 40 years later. But you're allowed to have multiple families in different towns and no one will care.

[A]

But it's a rule. But it's a rule. It has to be different countries. Like you have to. You like I went in. In America, one in Mexico. And then possibly if you're in America, let's say you live in la, have one in Fresno. If you have one in Fresno, have one in San Francisco.

[B]

That's exactly what my grandpa did. There's one in la, went right to Merced. And one in Mexico. That's insane.

[C]

Do you take care of all of them?

[B]

Me?

[C]

No, them. Your grandpa.

[B]

My Grandpa's son is 80 years old. I met him the other day. I was this old man. He goes, that's grandpa's son. I go, are you.

[A]

Oh, so he's also my grandpa?

[B]

No, my grand. Yeah, My uncle is 80 something years old.

[A]

My grandma's 95 if we met him for the first time.

[B]

Yeah, so alcoholic ass Mexican was in the house ago. Who's this drunk? Oh, man.

[A]

And Merced.

[B]

He's from Mexico, though. My grandpa sends him money. My Grandma's got like 30 kids. Dude, it's weird.

[A]

How many other 30 do you like?

[B]

I've only met like six, seven, eight of them. That's. That's the balls.

[C]

Like, I'm stoned right now.

[B]

You want to hit this?

[C]

I'm down.

[B]

I feel like I'm stoned. Yeah, the best way to.

[A]

When. When I sit here with y', all, I gotta keep the conversation going. Cuz if not, I'll get stuck. So I drink water and then try to hold my breath every 30 seconds.

[B]

That's why this fool's lightheaded and can't talk. He's holding his breath for 30.

[C]

So. So what is this back here, pops?

[B]

This is Merced, California. That is Buffalo, New York, because that's.

[A]

Where big Marty's from.

[C]

Oh, sick.

[A]

Buffalo, New York.

[C]

Marty.

[A]

Marty used to wake up as a kid from a second floor house and jump into the snow and the snow angels.

[C]

Like home alone.

[B]

Yeah, he never did.

[C]

Yeah, I guess.

[A]

So where did he drink? Pabs and hits the N word.

[C]

See a black guy go. See a black guy go by. Hey, you're not welcome here, buddy.

[A]

You know, it's funny that Buffalo, New York is probably like a super open spot. Like you guys are all cool as.

[B]

That's how the Muslims say, right?

[A]

That's how the Muslims above New York. You know, from New York, Betty the Butcher. Yeah, Betty's a butcher.

[C]

He's not a real butcher.

[B]

He's not. I found out he's a rapper, actually. Yeah, he's a rapper. He raps me.

[A]

We know that. Stupid. That's such a stupid fact.

[C]

That didn't land.

[A]

We. No, we know. No, no, no. You're not a comedian, okay? Sometimes you gotta be honest.

[C]

But I hope you know. But I hope you know just because you don't think a joke.

[A]

He didn't think it was fun either. Neither did Marty, neither.

[C]

Just didn't hear it. Maybe just didn't hear it. He laughed.

[A]

He's laughing like he'll say, joke. He'll say, I don't think it's because.

[C]

You'Re jealous of some of the jokes I have. Funny.

[A]

All right, go. Go ahead.

[C]

You know, be on the spot like that.

[B]

All right. I can't be on the spot. I like that.

[A]

You know? You know, you know, it is funny. Jakarta.

[B]

It will.

[A]

It'll be me and him in the car. Obviously I'm driving because this has on drive.

[B]

You'll drive.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Cuz he's.

[C]

I have anxiety and I have PTSD from driving. Correct.

[B]

So you had a car accident?

[C]

Yeah, I crashed my cousin's car. You did it? Yeah, I went 30 miles per hour when I was parking. So I drove the whole time and I did the destination.

[B]

Good stop.

[C]

And then I was parking and then I stepped on the gas.

[B]

That's the most Asian you've ever done in your life. That's some straight Indonesian Asian.

[C]

Double top down.

[A]

Double top down.

[B]

How do you hit the gas like that?

[A]

Because you got a big old 14ft size.

[B]

So wait, wait. Once you started going, you didn't go dog, take it off.

[C]

It was just one motion.

[B]

You had a building.

[C]

No, I hit those curb.

[B]

Oh, that's it?

[C]

Well, the tire fell off like the whole access. That's why you don't try to get aaa.

[A]

He's a bad.

[B]

Yeah, you don't.

[C]

You didn't even get hurt mentally. I was torn.

[B]

Oh, man. You ever seen Black Snake moan? Justin Timberlake can't drive either and I think you need to get over that.

[C]

Wait, what was that first thing you said?

[B]

The movie where Justin Timberlake gets in the car? Black Snake moan.

[C]

Black Snake moan.

[B]

Never seen it with real movie. Samuel Jackson? Christina Ricci? No. Justin Blake.

[A]

I love blue.

[C]

I'm a cile.

[B]

Oh, are you?

[C]

He's a pedophile.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

Are you that landed.

[C]

I know but like just because if it didn't land, I don't need you in my ear. Like I didn't land. Like, like I'm not.

[A]

You say a joke and then look at me for approval. And then when I tell you don't land, bro. He's like.

[C]

That just shows I'm just shows you're not a good friend. That just shows you're not a good friend if are around. Especially if some hoes are around and I say a joke. I don't give a what it is. You better laugh.

[A]

I'm going let you know. I'm going let you know. Now are not worried about what you're saying. That's one.

[B]

You're 64, fool.

[A]

Just do that.

[C]

Just do that.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. Let me. No.

[B]

Never be there.

[A]

No, no, no. Hold up. This 64 doesn't work for him. Take off your glasses real quick.

[B]

It can though.

[A]

No, take off your glasses.

[C]

That's just rude as.

[A]

That's just look at his face.

[B]

I got to be Honest, I don't know how you went from this guy might beat my ass to who's this kiddo? Who is this?

[A]

I'll tell you what the problem with Jakarta is, right?

[C]

I get, though. So there it is. I get. I don't have.

[A]

It's rare. And the one time you do get.

[B]

It'S rare, I'm there watching, so.

[A]

I know, I know. Look, look. One time, Jakarta does, like, where he'll think. He'll think the way he plays with the homies is the way he was only for the. No, no, no, no, no. It happened once.

[C]

No, Jakarta once is because I thought the girl stole my homies weed. That's the only reason.

[B]

Oh, did you punch her?

[C]

No, no, no. I did more.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

I was blowing in her face. I was like.

[A]

He was like, bro. He was like. He was like on a bender. And then he was just talking there.

[B]

And he was like, cuz you were drunk.

[C]

No, this was daytime Arizona bender to.

[B]

Blow air at her face.

[A]

No, no, no. And then. And then another time, and then, like, it was. It smell nasty. And then recently, the other time we're chilling, there's three bad ones. Jakarta comes up and goes like, hey, man, you know we have a podcast.

[C]

Come on. That's not how it went.

[B]

I almost don't believe almost nothing you.

[A]

Say at this point. Am I lying?

[C]

He's not lying.

[B]

Oh, that. I do believe everything you said.

[C]

No, no, no, no. He's not lying, but that's not how it went. Exactly. So I came up. So it did kind of in my head, this is how it went. And then in his head, I think it went totally different. I see some shorties, and I was like, hey, what's up? I mean, a boy. We got a podcast. That's how I went in my head.

[B]

Exactly what he said.

[C]

How did it go?

[A]

They're at my comedy show, bought tickets to come see me, and Jakarta thinks he needs to confirm with their that me and him have a podcast when they're fans of the. Right. Another thing.

[B]

Okay, I get it. I get it.

[A]

So you see, you see how everything has to go his way, if not is wrong. Like how you call my mama speak. But he didn't because he said a general group. Let me tell you, right? You and Marty are friends, right?

[C]

It was a joke.

[A]

No, shut the up.

[C]

It was a joke.

[A]

You and Marty are friends, right?

[B]

Go.

[C]

Let's say.

[A]

Let's say I'm your other friend. I'm from a totally different friend group.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And me and you are close, right?

[B]

This involves sex?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Keep going. Kind of.

[B]

Okay. I thought.

[A]

Okay. Okay. And me. You. We're totally two different friend groups, but we know of each other. But you know something about me that. That nobody knows. That nobody knows.

[C]

I didn't know.

[A]

And let's say. Let's say. Let's say I don't know how to drive. Let's say I don't know how to drive. Let's just say I don't know how to drive. And I tell you. But I'm. But I. I don't want nobody to know that I don't know how to drive.

[C]

That's the part he left off. Nobody knows. You did.

[B]

That's a big thing. You got to let people know.

[A]

No, no, no, I don't. And I tell you, and then you go to Marty. Hey, hilarious.

[B]

You.

[C]

You.

[A]

You being. You being the good friend. You trust Marty, right?

[C]

You.

[A]

You have this trust on him. And then Marty comes up to me when he sees me at the bar and goes like, hey, D. Ah. So do you drive knowing that I don't know how to drive? Because you just told them.

[B]

Oh, I get it.

[A]

Jakarta. So one of my homies is like, has a whole girl and wife, but nobody knows. And I told Jakarta. Listen, I told Jakarta, right? I'm like, oh, Jakarta's. And again, Jakarta knows because he. The way Jakarta doesn't understand context clues. So he's like, damn, that's what we live in life. And I'm like, oh, but you know, he's married. He's like, oh, I didn't know that. Oh, well, yeah, he's married. Okay. Jakarta sees my friend I'm talking about and goes like, hey, fool, so do you have a girl?

[C]

Was it the first thing I said? I said hello and everything first. And then I said that.

[A]

Like, fool.

[C]

No, no, I know. I was totally wrong. And I didn't know whatever happened again. Why do you have to keep throwing it in my face?

[A]

Because there's a pattern again. It never happened again. No, no, it's a pattern of you being a sensitive, lying bitch the only time I was lying about you.

[C]

Sensitive lying. Not a.

[A]

Those two equals you, you. Sensitive times line.

[C]

What? You're a. You're not a liar. You're a truther. You're a. And a piece of. Do I get mad? I don't get mad. It's just like, we're homies. I. I gotta fix myself on that part. Okay. There's a lot of stuff you got to fix on your part.

[A]

Like What?

[C]

When I'm in your car, I'm gonna ask to play a song. Can I play it?

[A]

I don't want to hear you. You know what you want to listen to?

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

You don't even know.

[C]

You don't even know.

[A]

Bang bang. I swear to put it in a bang bang. I don't want to listen to that. Shut the ass. You put me on the n. Almost.

[C]

Almost, bro. I just showed you what it was. Bro, I told you. Don't.

[B]

What?

[C]

You guys.

[B]

You don't let this play a song.

[C]

No, no, cuz, you know, bro, the song I was going to play has nothing to do with none of that.

[B]

No matter what song it is.

[A]

Can we. Can we show you the song?

[B]

When you play video games, does he get a turn?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's the one thing where him.

[C]

That's the only thing where like, that's.

[A]

The one thing I respect him in. But in my car that he put. Never put gas on that. I've been picking him up for the last five years I've known him. He doesn't get to drive in my car and bump some Joe rapper from New York. That I don't understand.

[C]

It's nothing to do with Drill.

[A]

Okay, can we show the song?

[C]

Do whatever.

[A]

Show the song. But yeah, the one you wanted to play.

[B]

But in general, you never be like, all right, play one.

[C]

Oh, no. I put them on a few country songs. We play country road in the car.

[B]

What's that?

[C]

Country road.

[A]

Sing it for him. Like you would sing it to the homage.

[B]

Yeah, you know.

[C]

You know, to a place.

[A]

He's looking for the song and then he takes this long, right?

[C]

No, no, I have it already.

[B]

I'll be honest. I like a bunch of weird ass music, so I might with it.

[A]

I'm so high right now.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

My bad.

[C]

No, it's okay. We're letting be hard, bro. He gets uncomfortable.

[B]

There's acid in that water.

[C]

It's like. It's like a singing song. Stunning Gambino. It's just hard.

[B]

I'm 100 over that already. Really? I don't like R B singing music.

[A]

Watch it. Watch this. And no, no. Say to this guy.

[C]

It has nothing. It has nothing to do. Because before I used to play a bunch of.

[A]

Watch.

[B]

Yeah, I used to play.

[A]

It.

[C]

Told you there's nothing like that. It's okay if you don't like them, but nothing to do with that.

[A]

But like, he's the bum. Like. And like, you know what? He. He likes some good UK music. He Put me on some good uk.

[B]

Like what?

[A]

Like, like Central. She has some like low key rap. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And.

[C]

And even beyond corridos, you understand it? No, not a lit.

[B]

It sounds so nice. And all of it's like about drugs. With you, bro.

[A]

See, I'm so high. I believe in you. See, we're such a guard about him being a lion piece of sin that it's tricking down to us.

[C]

I don't think I'm on guard though. I think I'm really blessed with my life right now. I feel happy. I feel very happy. Yeah. How are you?

[B]

I'm good. What's one fact about this fool? He doesn't want anybody to know?

[C]

One. I don't know. He's pretty. Oh, he's an open book.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

You know what? He's really mean to me. That's.

[A]

I do it every week on the podcast.

[B]

I bruises under these.

[C]

Under this sweater and. No. Hell no.

[A]

No, no, no. Say a real fact. Say a real fact that Indian birds.

[C]

I don't think anyone knows about you. I don't know. I really don't know. I'm starting to think. Do you know anything about me?

[A]

Yep.

[C]

All right, chill out. Chill out.

[B]

He's.

[A]

Pepperoni pizza on the low.

[C]

No. Oh, I put that on my mother, bro.

[B]

Are you mad religious though?

[C]

I quit. Oh, wait, you hit quit pork like a year and a half ago, dog.

[B]

Wait, I thought you're not never allowed to eat that.

[C]

No, no, no. Yeah, I wasn't allowed to do some. Yay too. Happens.

[B]

Is drugs illegal in Muslim?

[C]

In Indonesia you can have weed, you get arrested. Or you could do. You could do.

[B]

I'm talking about your religion.

[C]

My religion? Anything that.

[B]

So you're not allow to drink, smoke weed, jack off. But underage is okay.

[C]

Who said underage was okay?

[A]

Him.

[C]

Yeah, but who is he?

[B]

The guy next to me.

[C]

Who is this guy? The face of Poyo Campero. Come on.

[B]

That place is that place.

[A]

I'm going let you know.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Cuz one. I'm not. I'm not Central American.

[C]

Was it a.

[A]

So it's a Central American thing.

[B]

Is it really good though? I'm brown.

[C]

Is that fried chicken?

[B]

All that mixes together.

[C]

Is that fried chicken? Yeah, it's a grill.

[A]

It's really good.

[C]

Is it fried or grilled? Both.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's like. It's a polyco kind of.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You want to get some after?

[A]

No, we should go eat some Swarma.

[C]

Yeah, we're in Glendale. Oh, my fault.

[B]

You're good.

[C]

Oh, dude, we're in Burbank.

[B]

It's like we're right on the cusp. I say Burbank. I say Glendale.

[A]

Yeah. What do you say?

[B]

I say Burbank all the time because we're essentially on the line.

[A]

You're literally on the line, like, the next year over wearing the op eds, EBT and Ferraris. Homie.

[C]

Are you. Are you big on, like, Middle Eastern food? Mediterranean.

[B]

I with that. What's Armenian food?

[A]

Mediterranean.

[C]

Incredible.

[B]

It's incredible. Is it really?

[C]

It's the same.

[A]

Damn near kebabs.

[C]

Kebabs. And it's so fire, though.

[B]

Biting Mediterranean. Yeah, it's Mediterranean.

[C]

I mean, they're all in the same region, I think. I don't really know.

[B]

I don't know, man. You know geography better than I do. I don't know.

[C]

I know geography in Asia. Yeah. Like, Indonesia is the biggest.

[B]

You only know a fact about Indonesia.

[C]

Archipelago Asian. Now they got the Philippines above. I think Cambodia is to the left now. I'm still left.

[A]

If the Philippines in Indonesia were to.

[C]

Go to war, who would win right now? Philippines, probably. Indonesia.

[B]

Nah, Philippines.

[C]

Philippines.

[B]

Basically. Mexicans.

[C]

Yeah, they are basically.

[B]

They will never stop.

[C]

But if they were to go against American Idol against the whole world, they win everything.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Sing their asses.

[A]

I love the way they sing.

[C]

Have you seen them to karaoke? If you're doing karaoke with a Filipino guy, you got to fight that FL after. Yeah.

[B]

And he's going to help you because he's a nurse for sure.

[A]

Are you okay?

[C]

He'll fix you. Top 5 Filipinos in the world. Go ever.

[A]

Joe Coy.

[C]

Joe Coy.

[B]

Rob Schneider.

[C]

Rob Schneider.

[A]

Rob Schneider's Filipino.

[C]

Anderson pack Manny Pacquiao for sure.

[A]

Anderson pack Manny Pacquiao. Jerome Modesta. Who?

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Oh, Jerome Odessa. That was a solid five.

[B]

It was not bad. I got it. That was a solid for obscure Asian. Yeah, because I don't care. Name you one Cambodian.

[C]

They're the most right now. They're on the rise for being the most popular Asians for sure. I've been seeing them ever. Jollibee is my favorite, hands down.

[A]

Jollibee is not your favorite.

[C]

I just.

[A]

You're trying to get the votes of the Filipinos. You ain't no politicians.

[C]

What the votes for What? You think I'm running for mayor in Manila, you dumbass. What do I need a Filipino votes for?

[A]

Where's the last of you? A Jollibee? Watch this. Literally last night, you're doing a.

[B]

How am I full of.

[C]

I Forgot, you know my whole schedule dayto day. What I eat every single day. What the did I eat in the morning?

[A]

I do eggs, cocaine, whatever your mom cook.

[C]

Idiot.

[B]

Eggs, cocaine, sadness.

[C]

Such an idiot.

[A]

And you prayed twice.

[C]

I can actually tell you what I ate.

[B]

What you eat?

[C]

Vegetable soup. Nasty vegetable soup with fried anchovies.

[B]

That sounds disgusting.

[A]

That's how I say.

[B]

I can't lie. He done.

[C]

Hey, you know.

[B]

You know what he does?

[A]

If we know what he.

[C]

That was God. I swear to God. That was probably the best meal that.

[B]

You eat on a boat over there in Indonesia. What the. I love.

[A]

I love.

[C]

I love Indonesia.

[B]

Those guys that do the.

[A]

No, no. You know, you see those guys like for. Why you eating a meal that somebody makes a whole tik tok like clip about like you know, with the asmr. Like that's such a asmr. Tik tok. Like who the wants an for breakfast? You don't believe in eggs?

[B]

You fry them.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

Fry the angel.

[C]

No, I. I eat breakfast on like one like 11:30 maybe.

[B]

No, I mean like you fry the.

[A]

Wait, wait, what?

[C]

No, no, no. Anchovies are small tiny fish.

[B]

I know. You eat the whole thing though.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So you throw them on and it's like a crunching aspect while you're eating the soup. I think it's incredible.

[B]

Isn't crazy that you're like I just ate a skull and a brain.

[C]

No, but I mean what do you guys eat? What's the weirdest thing that Mexicans eat?

[A]

A lot of like what?

[B]

Just name.

[C]

But I don't think butts blood pudding and like that.

[B]

Oh, there you go.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

Blood pudding is the worst in the world.

[A]

What is blood pudding?

[B]

Blood coagulated into pudding.

[A]

I never had that.

[C]

My grandpa. Right?

[B]

My grandma grandpa do it.

[A]

I never had that pigs of blood.

[C]

It's usually.

[B]

No, it's cow.

[C]

No, they do a lot of pigs.

[B]

But I've only done. I've only seen cow for them.

[A]

Push the pork on us Now.

[B]

I will say that though. I've never seen a pig in the Mexico.

[A]

The most nastiest ever that I see.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

It's not a meal.

[B]

You said it like this.

[A]

And it's like I take as they have sopa de rata.

[B]

A rat.

[A]

Look that said a Marty. No boy Marty rat soup in Mexico.

[B]

No, that's just because you can't. You try to survive.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Nobody goes down people.

[C]

You needed to survive turn it to delicacies.

[A]

No, listen Yeah, I don't get jiggy, homie, But I know what you're thinking. Wait, wait. Before you guys start judging.

[B]

No, I'm judging you right now.

[A]

Hold on, wait, listen. I've never had this before. He did, but look what they said. Look at her.

[B]

Look at her.

[A]

Look at her.

[B]

Ah. Look at her smile in the middle.

[A]

No, go back, go back.

[B]

Look at clicker. Look at the smile in the middle. Evil. She's. They're eating a live rat.

[A]

Hold on, listen, listen.

[B]

So the tails movie.

[A]

I know what you're thinking. A rap from skid row, a rap from Merced.

[B]

I really don't.

[A]

These rats. These rats are from the wilderness, from the forest of Zakateca. So they're healthy.

[B]

So eat other dead animals. Animals.

[A]

No, they're actually. They're not carnivores.

[C]

I think they are for sure.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

You're seeing a rat eat lettuce, man.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Where I cricket before.

[A]

That's more normal.

[B]

That's more normal.

[C]

It was a Oaxacan dish.

[A]

Yeah, Chapulines.

[C]

That was fire.

[B]

Yeah. No. The weirdest thing I ever seen is blood pudding. Or cowboy.

[A]

I don't even know what that is. Blood pudding is crazy.

[C]

English people eat it too. Too.

[B]

But it's disgusting. So my grandpa was cut the cow's throat, put a bucket under it and leak all the blood out and put it into a big ass fridge and then let it coagulate for three days and start eating it with food. And it was disgusting.

[C]

Dude, I know you're lying.

[B]

I know you're God. In my life, everything I've ever seen, they used to eat the. They used to eat it with like. Oh, rice.

[C]

Dude, I think I could throw up right now. Dead ass. I'm not even gonna lie.

[B]

Dude. But I seen cow brain.

[C]

That's disgusting, bro.

[A]

And for Ted B.

[C]

If you don't want to get yuck, nobody's yum.

[B]

But get that I don't want to yuck. Nobody's y wild.

[C]

Very inclusive person.

[A]

I'm going to let you know right now If Yola had 10 bands and he gave you a Plato.

[B]

No.

[C]

10 bands.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You just got to be a dumbass not to eat it. But I wouldn't do.

[A]

It's a liar.

[B]

I'mma contradict that.

[C]

I got too much pride, brother.

[A]

Okay. Upon the cocaine.

[C]

Give me a pound. You got a pound on you, bro. You shouldn't even be here, bro.

[B]

I shouldn't be here? Yeah. Oh, no. Hold on.

[C]

How long did it take for you to get the pound. Where'd you get the pound from six dudes.

[B]

Six different dudes. Some of it's different colors.

[A]

Six dudes that were. Maybe three of them were gay at a random parking lot.

[B]

That's exactly what I don't think.

[C]

I don't think there's a lot of gay people that do that. Do joke.

[A]

Shut the up.

[B]

Are you serious? Kids don't smack their wives, bro. Cuz they do.

[A]

Hey, only when we're drunk.

[B]

I just like we. I've met them.

[C]

No, if you're Mexican, you're going to hit your wife for sure.

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

I don't have it in me to be my.

[C]

I know you don't have. You don't have it in.

[A]

I don't have it in me to be my.

[C]

Maybe it's on you.

[A]

Maybe you know, you know what? Maybe I need to reach like the 30 mark. Two kids get home mad after a long day of filming and just beat the out my get married.

[B]

Like I'm going start hitting you now. Because I can.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I was. I'm kidding. But it's funny.

[A]

Okay, but I'm with that.

[B]

I'm with that.

[A]

But listen, but listen. This is the problem with biracial couples that they don't understand certain things. Like if. If I just marry like an Indonesian woman, I just come home and beat the out of her.

[B]

She's not going to get it and she won't love you tomorrow and stay with you.

[C]

But if she's Mexican, she'll stay there.

[B]

And have four more kids for you. Four more kids. I guess he loves me. Yeah. My mom went through this. She said it's going to go fine. And it's always happens when you start getting stressed out. It's just a money thing. That's just your. I'll say this right now. Every person that's ever my mom, my grandma, kind of dumb. If I get smacked by my hut, I'm gonna stab the and bounce. There's no way I'm gonna be like yeah, he really?

[C]

Okay. Can I ask you this? Can I ask you this?

[A]

Look at you stutter all.

[B]

If your girl scary dude.

[C]

If your girl like let's say you're getting an argument with her. It's just getting pretty intense. And you're just like this. She just goes boom. Right there. She just knocks your. And you're kind of dazed, right? She goes huh?

[A]

Boom.

[C]

She hits you again. You're dazed. Now you have two options right there.

[B]

Get a stronger chin first.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, I get days from Two. I don't know.

[C]

Well, let's say she hit you with something.

[B]

I get bombed twice.

[C]

I'm thinking, she's like prime Chuck Lindell.

[A]

We marry Ronda Rousey.

[C]

Let's say she hit you with something like a pan.

[A]

Damn.

[C]

Yeah. Okay, Salt. So what. What are you doing? Are you leaving? Or are you just staying and be like, I'm gonna leave this. But you're gonna hit her first, right?

[B]

No.

[C]

You're not hitting her? No. Wow.

[B]

I just can't.

[C]

You gotta suplex that, brother.

[B]

Dude, I'm not saying I wouldn't hit a girl. And I'm not saying I'm sitting here going, yeah, I'll beat a up, but I will knock a asleep if it happens. If it has to. Not my wife.

[C]

No, no, no. I guess not. In this situation, it's your wife. I'm just saying it's your girl. It's gonna be a girlfriend.

[B]

No, she can just disappear. You know why? Because there's a girl that looks just like her with a fatter ass that I can go find somewhere else.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not going to jail because this. That I can go find.

[C]

She wouldn't go to jail. She wouldn't go to jail.

[B]

Oh, I'm calling the cops, and my mom's gonna come beat the out of her.

[C]

Yeah, facts, facts.

[B]

Yeah, I probably wouldn't call the cops. I just call my mom.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

My mom was gonna come.

[A]

I think Muslim women probably fight the best. No. Hell, no.

[B]

They got all that on them. Be sweating.

[A]

Hell, no. They don't grab hair, homie.

[C]

So, so much. Oh, have you seen those? They in Philadelphia, a lot of the black girls, they're Muslim. They be fighting, squabbling.

[B]

That's because you're getting made fun of.

[C]

And I don't think so a lot In Philadelphia. It's a lot.

[A]

I have a question. I have a question about the Muslim community.

[C]

I'm not. I hope everyone. I'm not like, a representative of them. I'm just.

[B]

I'm not a representative. Don't look at me.

[C]

Look at me. I'm just talking about cocaine, and I'm just one of those foods.

[B]

I ate a poke. Pork, taco jolly.

[A]

You're hitting it from the back. Do you pull the hair? Muslims, are they used to it?

[C]

Like, they don't have to wear for their husband.

[A]

I know, but are they, like. Do they know that?

[C]

I'm not gonna answer your question with stupidity. Yeah, you're a. You're a joke.

[B]

You know, that's what the car Lay down.

[C]

And you're horrible as well.

[A]

Crack it.

[C]

You. Dude, you look like one of the Italian tick tockers. That's like.

[B]

It's not mozzarella.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Oh my God. You do not pass.

[C]

No, I said you do. I said.

[A]

He's got bagu.

[B]

I don't know who that is.

[C]

I watch the type of.

[A]

That's not the type of me, right? Have you ever seen Sopranos?

[B]

I know what that is. I'm talking about what he said.

[A]

Oh, I don't know what he's talking about.

[C]

You know.

[A]

Have you ever watched Sopranos?

[B]

Of course.

[C]

A little bit.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Cuz I already know everything that happened.

[B]

Now that. What's your three favorite movies? Cile through my three.

[C]

Is it what? John.

[B]

No, no. Ready?

[C]

Ready, Ready.

[B]

What genre movies you can watch over.

[A]

And over and over?

[B]

You're next.

[C]

Okay. Painted Gain.

[B]

Stop. What?

[C]

Painted Gain.

[B]

Pain and Game. You talk about Mark Wahlberg.

[C]

Yeah, the Rock. I really like that.

[B]

That was. No, that was cool.

[C]

Tropic Thunder.

[B]

Okay, it's good. But you can watch that first one.

[A]

Over and over and over.

[C]

I don't think over and over. Oh, no, that's the category. Over and over and over and over and over. Okay, delete that one. I can watch Old Boy over and over.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

What's that?

[C]

I can't tell you the velour of it.

[B]

No, it's coming. Who's in it?

[C]

Okay, so it's a guy. Who's in it? Josh Brolin.

[B]

Go.

[C]

It was an old. It was an old Japanese movie. They recreated it. Don't say, because I think you know what it is.

[A]

What movie is it?

[B]

So Josh bro from the Goonies.

[C]

It's about a dude. It's about a dude. He's. I think he's like a. A lawyer, real estate guy, whatever. When there's one day he gets drunk.

[B]

Oh, don't tell me about it.

[C]

Okay, that's it. He's just.

[B]

No, no, I mean like that one.

[C]

That's the Japanese one to the right.

[B]

Oh, wait, I've seen clips of that. First, the Japanese one.

[C]

This is the most. It's like such a popular movie.

[B]

Oh, I've never seen. I've never seen the Josh Brolin one.

[C]

Yeah, it's. It gets pretty. I've seen.

[B]

I've seen that. He kills Helen Fools, right?

[C]

Yeah, he does.

[B]

Yeah, this is the one. Oh, damn. All right, what else? What else?

[C]

Battle Royale.

[B]

Oh, you're Asian. You gotta pick Asians. That is very Asian.

[C]

Step brother. Step brother.

[B]

Step brother.

[C]

Step brother.

[B]

Oh, two white men.

[C]

Or 50 first dates. I like really like that also 50 first dates.

[B]

How did he explain to her on the boat every day that she's pregnant.

[C]

Every day to a. Come on.

[B]

On the boat. No, she's pregnant every day. He's got a shore. She's surrounded by water. He did it on purpose so she couldn't bounce. Having birth the next day. That's a horror movie if I've ever seen one day.

[A]

Why would she have, like, Alzheimer's or some 51st days?

[B]

Also, why don't you just do some meth or coke and stay up for one night? Every time she falls asleep, her memory gets erased. She wakes up, doesn't remember nothing. Stay awake. You stupid. Wouldn't you. If Freddy Krueger was here, would you be like, I'm going to do some cocaine and stay up for days?

[C]

Well, in the movies, they took the pill to not dream, Right? So suppress their dreams. Freddy Krueger's the guy that's burned.

[B]

Are you asking me? Freddy Krueger just entered people's dreams and murdered them.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.

[B]

So there was no pill. They just fall asleep.

[C]

No, no. But the people in the movies, like, later on, they would take a pill at the psychiatric fetamines. Yeah. And they know, and it would just suppress their dreams. So you would never come.

[B]

That sounds like a.

[C]

Probably just do those Niagara thing.

[A]

Those are your top three movies.

[C]

That I can watch over and over and over again.

[A]

I just want to know. I'm letting you know. That was trash. Is it my turn?

[B]

Selena, no.

[C]

Oh, Bloody Blood Out. I'm so stupid. That's one of my movies for sure. Let me read my movies. The Blood and Blood Out.

[A]

All the time.

[C]

Step brothers for sure. And then. Yeah. I'm a locking pain again. I could watch that again and again.

[B]

Damn. That's. That's. I liked it. It was good. It was cool. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Damn, this was all pissed off. What? What do you say? What's the name? Battle Royale is cool, but, like, they're murdering each other. I like you. I like you. And then they die. Yeah.

[A]

Trash.

[C]

All right. What are yours, bro? Go, bro.

[A]

The Harry Potter series. Can we put it on?

[C]

Dog, get the out of here, bro.

[B]

Get the. I hate it. I hate it.

[A]

I hate it.

[C]

You're so gay. Number six.

[B]

I'm at number six.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I think I'm stopping.

[A]

It gets better than.

[B]

How about this? It's Voldemort.

[A]

It's him.

[B]

Every movie ends with who's doing it's him for seven movies straight.

[A]

It can't be that bad. It can't be that bad if you're at the sixth movie you could have stopped. I was in the plane.

[C]

Last month.

[B]

First time ever.

[C]

Can I tell you why Harry Potter's so stupid?

[B]

It's good, it's cool.

[C]

You want me to tell you why it's so stupid?

[B]

Go.

[C]

Why is the lead high school like the main setting for this terrorist dude? Why is he always going back to Hogwarts? I think that's kind of weird.

[B]

He's a pedophile.

[C]

He's a pedophile and he's a.

[A]

He's Muslim. He has a ro.

[C]

And you never see his face. If if anything he looks like. If anything, if anything looks like the Pope. If anything he looks like.

[A]

No, he looks nothing like.

[C]

He looks like the Pope.

[B]

He looks nothing like stalking in the bathroom.

[C]

He looks like the Pope.

[A]

First of all, he never stalking. No in the bathroom.

[C]

Okay, but he was there.

[B]

But Voldemort did, man. Where he killed that bitch. That was a ghost. You watch it more than I do. I don't know.

[C]

Oh, he doesn't.

[B]

The girl with the glasses that haunts the fucking bathroom. You know.

[C]

You know what else he says too? All right, okay, okay, let's. Let's not finish. So Harry Potter series.

[B]

Harry Potter, all seven. Damn.

[A]

One of the greatest. Oh, eight. By the way, it's part one. Oh, there's date, there's a.

[B]

Well, I just thought they all die at the end.

[A]

The seven movies is split in two.

[B]

Okay, keep going.

[A]

Okay. Harry Potter easily, right? Easy.

[B]

Go.

[A]

Bring it on. The crayon version.

[B]

I gotta be honest.

[C]

I'm just kidding.

[B]

I'm just kidding. Okay, I'm just kidding.

[A]

I'm just kidding. Keep in mind I was raised by a woman. I didn't really have no choice. Okay.

[B]

Okay, keep going. Go. It better not be bringing on the real one.

[A]

Nah.

[B]

I'm gonna say the last dance this.

[A]

Oh, Harry Potter stomp the yard. Are you with Chris Brown? I know what it is stomped. The are one of the greatest of all time.

[C]

He only likes that because the black dude died at the beginning.

[A]

Why didn't he didn't die in the end.

[C]

See, that was funny. Thank you a lot. Thank you guys.

[A]

No, actually I don't.

[C]

I.

[A]

Okay, I'm erased from the art. Please give me a little bit. Give me a little. Okay. Harry Potter. Oh my God. Shot caller.

[B]

Oh, that's a bomb ass movie.

[C]

That's cool. Over and over.

[B]

It's a good movie.

[A]

Soft collar.

[C]

Those three.

[A]

No, no, I. I erased something. Yard.

[B]

Yeah, that was.

[A]

That was a good movie. Saw color and was like a movie as a kid that I was like. I could rewatch all the time.

[B]

I don't know. You tell me, man.

[A]

I don't know. I'm so high right now, by the way.

[C]

I'm looking stunned.

[A]

Yeah, with some dick in your mouth. Too light.

[B]

What movie was that?

[C]

Oh, what the.

[B]

Was that noise for me?

[C]

Sorry, sorry. It was Step Brothers Rush Hour.

[B]

One, two or three.

[C]

No, if we were doing series, I want to throw my series off because he only gets eight movies.

[A]

The Green Iron Gang.

[B]

Man, you.

[C]

There's no way.

[B]

There's no way.

[C]

Really Great.

[A]

Iron Gang is a good movie. You said it's going over is.

[B]

Yeah, I know it is. It is. It is.

[A]

Okay, first of all, you old Rush Hour.

[C]

Rush Hour.

[A]

Let's. Let's hear your all that Good man. All right, go ahead.

[B]

That's a good movie too.

[C]

Never watched it.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, he doesn't either though.

[A]

Why throw the name out?

[B]

Why you throw the name out like that?

[C]

I just know old, old people like that.

[B]

That's a good.

[C]

That'll be like mommy John, Mommy Johnny. Really love all that.

[A]

Okay, go ahead.

[B]

Go ahead, Fish. All this is good.

[A]

All that, like picture is a good movie.

[B]

That 90s is all to.

[A]

Okay. I love Casino. I'm a fan of Bron Tail.

[C]

Like a Boy Meets World.

[B]

No, I never watched Boy Meets two episodes.

[A]

Okay, go ahead.

[B]

I didn't like it.

[A]

Okay, give us your three over and over movies.

[B]

Three favorite movies I could watch over and over and over.

[C]

Yeah, consistently.

[B]

You ever seen Observe and Report.

[A]

Get the out.

[C]

I love that movie.

[B]

Such a good.

[C]

It is such a good movie.

[B]

Seth Rogen.

[C]

He doesn't know because he doesn't even.

[B]

Know Seth Rogan being a weirdo, bro. It's dude, basically Paul Blart. R rated.

[C]

R rated Paul Blart. They're security guards. It's your.

[B]

It's. Honestly, it's my.

[C]

My Michael Pen's in the movie.

[B]

He is in that. Michael.

[C]

Well, here we're watching when we go to your house.

[B]

Michael Pena plays out.

[A]

I don't want to watch it with you.

[C]

Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do want to watch.

[B]

Get some jolly be you guys go watch, observe, report.

[C]

Oh, we're getting the cheapest after this brother.

[A]

Oh, yeah, cuz he's paying. Finally.

[B]

Okay, number two. I mean it's almost too easy though. Because they're too easy. I was gonna Say trap, thunder or set Brothers. It's like, come on, man. You can just watch this for.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not gonna call him dad even though there's a fire.

[B]

Fire.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just kept in the movie.

[A]

Not getting my face. I'll drop that rp. My homie Julio, man, say one of my boy. One of my. One of my older homies passed away, man. Kids on the drugs, you know what I'm saying? He me, I remember watching Step Brothers and I remember him being able to recite everything so perfectly. And I was like, I would like, randomly. I'll come visit them and be like, robert, better not get in my face. I'll drop that.

[C]

And it's just. Click. Such a great movie. Okay, okay.

[A]

What's your third one?

[C]

Third.

[B]

All watching all the time. Oh, it's hard, dude. I watch so many movies. It's not good.

[C]

You're a cinephile.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He is, though. Jakarta is too, though. Like, I like. Like, for the way you guys remember, like, this is the white about both of you guys. The way you guys remember actors real names.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Like.

[A]

Like, that's like that. Like stupid white comics when they talk about movies, because they'd be like, dude, whoever.

[B]

Why can't you remember? All my. My brothers are Mexican as they don't know one actor's name. How.

[A]

I don't. I don't. I don't want to.

[C]

Huh. That's that one.

[B]

That one for, you know, the dude, the buff guy.

[A]

I'm like. I'm like a mainstream movie watcher. I'm gonna be honest.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

I'm gonna be. I'm like a mainstream movie watcher.

[B]

Like, is it. Did you. Were you watched as a kid or did you just go do for the rest of the day?

[C]

I was watched, but he wasn't watched at all.

[B]

You weren't.

[A]

I wasn't watching outside.

[B]

Okay, you're outside.

[A]

So. But. But like. And. And to be honest, I think I like a lot of more. A lot. A lot of more. Like. Like gay. Like. Like, I ain't gonna lie. Like, bringing on cray show movie. That's just good as.

[B]

One day. One day it's gonna come out.

[C]

He's not.

[B]

I kissed the guy, guys.

[C]

But that's not cool. That's not. No, no. Coming out. It's not cool. If you're doing gay with your homies while you're straight and then you come out. That's. That's what I have about.

[B]

That's the coolest.

[C]

That's not the coolest shield on. No, that means.

[A]

That means.

[C]

That means we were playing around. You were sexually assaulting.

[B]

Oh, one time, me and my homie. No, I won't say his name. This guy, I used to be one of my best friends, guys.

[A]

Oh, he stopped being him friends with him cuz he turned came out.

[B]

No, me and my best friend, we used to hang out with our other friend. They were best homies. I met him through him ready high school. We're always hanging out, my friend. I know the rule is two people can't spend the night. I know that. His grandma, grandpa. Only one person spent the night. It's too much like, all right, cool. So I would leave and my homie would stay and they would sleep, you know?

[A]

Oh, yeah, it takes her to sleep.

[B]

No, like, yo, we was just like, when you do drugs, like, you always do drugs all night when your grandma grandpa are asleep. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

They took dirt sleeping with the bed as well.

[B]

Yeah, but they're like, hey, you can't sleep over. Like, I'll do drugs.

[C]

Wait, this will only have one bed.

[B]

No, I slept on the couch. I'm saying his grandma, grandpa, like, we can't have multiple friends.

[C]

The rule. That was the rule.

[B]

The rule. No, no, no, listen, listen. That was the rule that.

[C]

He told me you ain't ever slept with him sitting there.

[B]

That's the. No, that's the rule.

[A]

He told me you were like the dice. You were like the dice.

[B]

Yeah, the day shift. The day shift, the gay shift. And this is what happened.

[C]

You didn't have a house.

[B]

No, stop. I'm talking about like a Friday, Saturday. We're doing drugs all night homies.

[A]

And then my house is a house. You want to sleep over at. My grandpa don't let me have two boys at the same time.

[B]

Yeah, only one boy at the same time.

[C]

What the. Was that food? Like old school.

[B]

As his grand grandpa, 90 years old.

[C]

No gay. No gay.

[B]

Whitest people you've ever met.

[A]

No, but my thing is, was like, what's the difference between one gay boy and three gay boys?

[B]

Listen to the words I'm about to say.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

I always thought it was weird, and I was always like, that's odd that.

[A]

You guys could have a three.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was shooting for, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I found out like three years later that these motherfuckers were kind of together. And there was no rule. They just wanted me out of the.

[A]

Fucking house because I'm not gay.

[B]

Thomas is not gay. Get him. There's a rule I can't do. People can't stay. We're like, oh, I'll go.

[A]

I'll go.

[C]

Oh, your homies were gay?

[B]

Turns out they were, dude.

[C]

Oh, I didn't know.

[B]

Yes. I had no idea.

[C]

For three.

[B]

Oh, you're gay.

[C]

You're gay by association.

[B]

That means you. Okay.

[C]

No, no. He was doing drugs. It was all sucking each other, and I put that on my mouth.

[A]

Even though you didn't have three of them, you had one intercourse.

[C]

That's gay.

[A]

That's gay as pretty good. Like, three would have made you, like, like super gay, but you were just a little bit gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, wait. So I was doing drugs with my friends.

[B]

I'm like, hey, I'm gonna sleep over. Our other homies gonna leave. Like, let's do drugs all night. When you grab a grand, go to sleep. That's.

[C]

You were blocking, like a mud.

[A]

That's exactly what happened.

[C]

But, like, this was still.

[B]

I didn't know that till years later. I go, that's what you guys wanted Me.

[A]

Oh, are they together?

[C]

Are they together now?

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

Kind of went nowhere, huh?

[A]

No, I think they were like, they're D of age.

[B]

I'm scared. I'm going to straight now. I'm like, you're not straight, but you're just with girls.

[C]

What the is wrong with you, dog?

[B]

That's where he goes. This is where the brain goes, man.

[A]

Wait, wait. So then.

[B]

So I just didn't know.

[A]

So. Yeah, but then how they tell you? Like, they put you in a. In a group text?

[B]

No, I just found out.

[A]

Like, in your group chat, they finally came out.

[B]

No, I found out that one was like. I was like, oh, he's. Dude, that's cool. That's. I get it.

[C]

Oh, that's why this to go to sleep over bro's house.

[B]

No, when I realized and I talked to him, I go, you're with who? Go, that's why you. And then what are you doing? He went like, well, no, I found out through other friends. And I went, who's with. Oh, my God. I'm like, there was no rule. And I put in on that coke, you bastards. And I gotta leave. So I would just do all the drugs.

[C]

How old were you?

[B]

15? 14.

[A]

Damn food. We already have 15.

[C]

You were doing coke at 15?

[A]

If 11 Merced is hard.

[B]

It's different over. It's like LA. It's like anywhere.

[A]

No, no, it's not LA. I'm promising Merced. The ghetto. The arid of northern Cal.

[B]

It is very ghetto.

[A]

Central Valley.

[C]

They got a college out there. My cousin went over there.

[A]

You see what said that's the one thing they have going them and Yola.

[B]

Yeah, it's the one thing, man. Oh, yeah, yeah, we have a uc.

[A]

Yeah. You see, Yola, like, when they picture the people to move there.

[B]

This guy smoked weed here once.

[C]

What's the best food they have in Merced?

[A]

Oh, bro.

[B]

Yeah. Mad days of. Of staying awake. And then Pepsi and cigarettes. That's how people survive for restaurants on lazer.

[A]

Because nobody eats because they're no restaurants.

[B]

Last.

[C]

All I'm thinking about is the anchovies at. In the morning. I'm so ready.

[A]

That's disgusting.

[B]

You ate that fool's whole life.

[A]

You want to eat it? And Toby. Right here, homie.

[B]

Jesus. All fishy and what's wrong with you?

[A]

What's wrong with you?

[C]

I don't know. I think as a child, I think.

[B]

When I was 12, someone touched my dick, but I was getting it cut off. I gotta be honest. That's the bravest thing I've ever heard in my life. And why did you choose that? Did your parents make you do that?

[C]

No, it's like I was. I'm not tripping. It's like a religion thing, you know?

[A]

Oh, wait, is that like a lock? That's how they jump you into the Right. Yeah, jumped in.

[C]

Illegal. Illegal.

[B]

Stop. It's a thing that when you turn 12 or 13.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

You're supposed to do it as a kid.

[B]

Oh, so you're just. You're just late.

[C]

Late to the party.

[A]

They weren't sure if it was a clit or a penis. They're like, let's.

[B]

Let's let it develop more.

[C]

Very vulgar with your mouth. You had a vulgar in person, bro. You don't deserve good things in life.

[B]

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. You been arguing on the Internet a lot?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, I see it. It makes me laugh.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

No, it makes me laugh.

[C]

You're your stone right now. Holy.

[B]

My bad.

[A]

I'm gonna let you know right now for whenever I come here mentally, I give myself a talk. Yeah, like it's not real. That is real, though.

[B]

I got him so high, he didn't even get high.

[A]

That was the one time where I knew I was gonna get age restricted, cuz YOLO was on my. And. But. But it was cool. You want to know why? Cuz yola's like supporter fan base. They're just dedicated. And we talked about Family guy for like 20 minutes, which is high.

[C]

I love that show we did. I love south park more, though.

[A]

But yeah, man, South Park. South park by far is way better than way better.

[B]

Way better.

[A]

I actually had an argument with, like, some older fool, and he tried to give me, like, a whole history. I'm like, f is not that serious about what. Like, south park is better. And he was like, well, family guys.

[C]

Why not?

[A]

Like, shut the up? Nobody gives a. Yeah, no, I know, but he was.

[B]

He's just older, and he's trying to argue that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With a guy younger, saying, family.

[C]

What are you doing? Like, bro, Start a family. How about that? Talk to your. You know, start guessing. Get a child.

[A]

Get a child.

[C]

Yeah. Like, I'm not arguing with old foods no more, bro. I look at my dm, talking crazy. Crazy to me.

[B]

Really?

[C]

All the time, bro.

[B]

Well, you know what? I. I get it too.

[C]

So it's old, too. Like, what are you doing?

[A]

Hey, is there people that think they could out smoke you? Like, like, is there people, like, are you smoking like a. In your DMs all the time?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, because they. Because they really want to smoke with you, you know?

[A]

No, no, but my thing. No, but my thing is, like, this. Food smokes a lot. Like, you guys don't understand the amount. Like, I've never hung out with YOLO more than five minutes, and there wasn't a blunt or a. You know what? I'm lying. He was on stage doing comedy, right? When he got on, he said, thank you for the spot. Went to the back and want to go smoke. Let me tell you right now. He was like. He finished his joke so fast. He went through his bus line. He's like, I need to get high.

[B]

I don't smoke before the shows ever. No, I did one show at the.

[A]

Covina and it tripped you out.

[B]

Well, no, I smoke first. I get high as, obviously. So I took a couple dabs and went on stage, and it was the first time I ever put some notes on my phone. Just left it on the table. And I went and went like three minutes in, went, where the am I going with this? And I went, let me get some water. I looked at my nose, went, I'm not smoking ever again.

[A]

That'll happen. That'll happen.

[B]

And that doesn't happen like it happened to me. It's the worst. No, that's. It's the worst feeling in the world. Going, oh, where was I?

[C]

That's opposite.

[A]

It happened to me before, for sure. Your heart drops to your dick.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And you're just like, all Right. It was with the. In the front though.

[B]

No, I get high so people like, yeah, he forgot it. The pothead forgot it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, up. But him like, of course. That dumbass. That's why I don't wanna. That's why I don't want to it up.

[A]

It does. It could make you overthink. Even being drunk is not the best.

[B]

I still never drink on stage before.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I. Everyone like when I'm really nervous, I'll take a little Shotski's a little, you know.

[B]

But you're up there for a long ass time.

[A]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but once I get up there, I'm. I. I try to enjoy life. Yeah, it's the best way to do it.

[C]

It's very enjoyable.

[B]

I like that.

[C]

I'm trying to go to more parks and stuff. Like I just went to the LA Brea Tar Pits yesterday.

[B]

That's.

[C]

You ever been there?

[B]

I was really just talking about that on stage.

[C]

Are you serious?

[B]

These LA game bangs where they go to the Tar Pits to learn.

[C]

Yeah, I love, I love the Tar Pits. Actually.

[A]

He does at the time.

[C]

I go there often.

[B]

I was trying to say that.

[A]

But the reason he likes it is because he's a city baby. Like, that's like, I'm not from la.

[B]

What does that mean?

[C]

I don't live mid city, but I live. I live nearby Koreatown.

[B]

But what does that mean?

[C]

Like the neighboring city would be mid city. It's like a little neighborhood.

[A]

So you know, so you know what it is? It's kind of like growing up in la. Every, every section would show you how much more cool they are than they are. Like, I'll be like, I got Dodger Stadium. And then the foods from Pico Union will probably be like, well, we got the, the Lakers play here.

[C]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

I'll be like, oh, we got the swans. Jakarta be like dirty ass swans because of bread. But it's, it's, it's.

[C]

I love the target.

[A]

It's essentially like where you grew up is where you're kind of like where you first experience things.

[B]

I'm in such a small spot.

[C]

I live.

[B]

No one does that.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Oh, no. Other side of the tracks. I'm sorry. You live on that side of the tracks.

[C]

I'm like, yeah, that's it. The tracks.

[B]

It's where everybody gets shot. The second cross tracks, you gotta. You're gonna get shot.

[C]

Why don't we, why don't we remove the trucks? Hey, Merced, vote for me.

[A]

Yolo. Why don't you run for mayor of Mercedes Said.

[B]

I've been saying this. I was 15 years old. When I'm about 50, I'm going to move back to Merced for one year. I already got the laws. You have to live there for one year. I'm going to be the mayor Merced.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm going to outlaw cyclists.

[C]

What happens if they douchebags.

[B]

I hate them, dude. They're pieces of. Get out of the road, dude. Get out of the road.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

Don't ever, don't ever go to New York and stand in the bike lane where that food's going to pass by. I know you hate that.

[C]

You know that guy with the camera?

[A]

I would push the out of that. I would, I would push him on.

[B]

I know he's so mean to people. So.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You can't say those words and not expect to get. Did you see the other last week somebody hit him up. Yeah, they hit him up. See, I can get your ass at any time, huh? They came right up to him. Yeah, yeah. They stopped his bike.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You want to say I'll get you right now.

[A]

Go.

[B]

His two fools run up to him like see, See, they're pissed. Good. Thank God, guys.

[A]

So rude. I'm gonna let him know right now. You're going too fast on the streets to be a New Yorker.

[B]

He is flying.

[A]

You got to understand that in New York cars if you're walking, that's one thing. You're moving fast in New York. But if you're in any type of anything that has wheels in New York, slow the down. You're not on the PCH in California where you have empty like it's like.

[B]

Pedestrians rule all I'm going let you know right now.

[A]

I'm going to let you know right now. Like California, it's, it's. It's a vehicle. It's a vehicle city.

[B]

If you walk here, it's like, oh, he's doing bad. Is he on drugs? Is he up?

[A]

Where's his car or working out? It depends how you're dressed. But in New York, if you're walking, you could be a millionaire or poor. But if you're on any motor vehicle. Calm your ass down, homie. You know what you signed up for?

[B]

I, I walk everywhere in New York. I'm not getting a car to sit there.

[A]

Yeah, if I have to do on.

[B]

My phone, I'll get in the car. Like I need 30 minutes anyway. It. But no over like a Merced. No. I'll be the mayor one day.

[A]

That I love it.

[C]

What does that come with?

[B]

Nothing. I just want to outlaw that and that's it. Back to la.

[A]

I don't give a. Marty, can we look up where the Merced mayor stays? In Merced? Like, like the house.

[B]

The president man.

[A]

No, no, no, in California we have a house. And I mean in, in California.

[B]

No, not the governor, Mayor of justice.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

In la. I promise you, I promise you in la, the mayor of Los Angeles has.

[B]

To go live somewhere.

[A]

They. If they have a house.

[B]

That's how it sucks.

[A]

The house is very beautiful in la. I'll tell you right now.

[B]

Well, there's nothing like that in Merced.

[A]

I promise, I promise you there, there has to be. There's no way.

[C]

Yeah, they have one for Indonesians. Like the Indonesian representative in la. This one has a specific house.

[A]

I'm gonna tell you right now, Marty, please, there's no.

[B]

I did police pizza delivery. I know every house in that town. There's no.

[C]

The mayor doesn't even live pizza.

[B]

We had a five star restaurant.

[C]

Anyway. Can I ask you this, sir? When did you just. When did you start smoking marijuana?

[B]

13.

[C]

13, 14.

[B]

13.

[C]

You kick with 13 year olds now?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

If you recruit them, Eddie should change our life, bro.

[B]

I do. They're just in their 30s. They were 13 at one point.

[C]

No, no, I'm not currently now it's in 2026.

[B]

No, I don't know any 13 year olds.

[A]

By the way. You know I have the joint you road in my house still.

[B]

Still.

[A]

They try to, they try to smoke it the other day and I have to get down with the homie. Yeah, no, he signed that and everybody's like, let me hit it. And I'm like, I don't know how good the weed stays in a joint. How does that work? It might be dry now. Huh?

[C]

It's.

[B]

Oh, it's temper dry. Yeah.

[A]

You know what? I gotta bring it out here just so you can smoke it. It's been about two years, almost maybe three.

[C]

You gotta understand, bro, after 3am and foods are at his house. We're just looking.

[A]

But, but I, but I have specific rules. I'm like, you can smoke this cabinet.

[C]

This cabbage too. Cabbage.

[A]

I'm like, what could that have cabinets with like a bunch of like memorabilia to me. And I'm like, you can't smoke it. You can't smoke the joint. That YOLO sign, one time they were feeding for weed and I was there.

[B]

Like give you weed and just keep it in the cabinet.

[A]

I know, but I was like, but they wanted to smoke. The point is they want to smoke what they can.

[C]

You get? I'm saying.

[A]

Oh, I get it, all right.

[C]

Did you find out, Marty, we got.

[A]

No address for this on Google on mayor. See, the mayor of Merced doesn't have a house.

[B]

No way.

[A]

That's some sad, homie.

[B]

There's no way.

[C]

She probably has a trailer.

[B]

There's some trailers.

[A]

You changed that, though. The mayor of LA has a beautiful home in Los Angeles.

[B]

The mayor of Stockton, next to where I'm from, is 30 years old. 30?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

They're killing.

[A]

They're killing.

[B]

Yeah, they're killing each other. Stockton's bad, dude.

[C]

They just had a major, major shooting.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait.

[B]

30 years old.

[A]

Last time I checked that fool.

[B]

You know what the worst thing in the world?

[A]

He's a 30th.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Watching a the NFL combine. Like these fools are 20 and can beat the dog out of me. I just feel so.

[C]

How old is high quality water right here?

[A]

Mayor of that or about spring?

[B]

Yeah, the black kid, he was like 30 years old. It was like three years ago. Wait, how long is amazing?

[A]

No, now it's like, oh, no. Michael Tubbs. 30 years of experience in education. Oh, damn.

[C]

That motherfucker.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I think Michael Tubbs is gone.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

Oh, he stepped up in California. He went up there.

[B]

It is well. Yeah. I'm gonna be the mayor Merced one day. I've been saying since high school, I love that food. Hate the cyclist, bro.

[A]

I would never be the mayor of LA because it's too much responsibility. But the mayor of Merced, I'll with that.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I love that for you.

[B]

Food for less is cleaner. I would everybody lose your mind. Free needles. Oh, what a badass.

[C]

No, sir. You know what you got to do for Merced? Let me tell you something. The train tracks. I've heard a lot of activity goes around there on both sides. Even if we remove it, if we.

[B]

Remove just a bunch of crashes, we just die as a city with no dude right by the shit is where all the homeless fools and shit.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

All drugs. A lot of drugs.

[A]

Mercedes, one of those cities that it would have to get nuked and then rebuild the 100.

[B]

No, no, no. I think it's a black hole. That was just how that true hustle. I just went on there talking like Mercedes getting so much better. It's so nice. And how many just got killed?

[A]

It's not real.

[C]

It's real.

[B]

That's the highness. It's not real. That's what means you're high.

[C]

Yeah, I hit that. I wanted to be high. I'm fading right now. You smoke, Pete?

[B]

What?

[C]

What?

[B]

PC. Pcp.

[A]

That's a PC.

[B]

Your head's about to go like this. Wait, you ever done pcb?

[C]

Can you stop?

[A]

I'm gonna let you know right now. I'll let you know right now. I came. I, I. I came with the. I looked in the fridge and Yola had wax, and that blew my mind. In the fridge? I was like, what the is this?

[B]

Yo homie left it for me.

[A]

Yeah, in the fridge.

[B]

Well, you always keep hash in the.

[A]

Fridge at your home? Fridge?

[B]

I have a. No, I bought a fridge for my hat.

[A]

Get the out of here.

[C]

You're tripping.

[A]

Is it like a mini fridge bigger than me?

[C]

One fridge only. What. Can I ask you this? What's. So what do you do on, like, 420? No, no.

[A]

You know.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

You're looking for a ship. He's just such a cooler smoker than Everybody else. That YOLO's like, oh, it met for 20 every day when he.

[C]

You know what?

[A]

That if you post Mother's Day, she'll be like, it's Mother's Day every day. Yeah. You know that type of food.

[C]

I'm so sorry to bring this up. What, the OG Mighty Morphin movie from the 90s?

[B]

Yeah. What about one of them? Oh, with Ivan Ooze?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you shut the up?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

[B]

You know some of that. Yeah, yesterday. You know why?

[A]

Oh, my God. Look at Muslim just doing random things.

[C]

Can you.

[B]

Can you bring up Zach, the Black Ranger?

[C]

His hairline was horrible.

[B]

The is 59.

[C]

Really?

[B]

He looks as old as me. He looks great.

[A]

He looks. Don't crack, homie.

[B]

They don't. They don't age. That's.

[A]

Unless you smoke the crack.

[B]

That's an anomaly, bro.

[C]

Yeah, he looks. No, no, no.

[B]

It doesn't make sense. That man's 59 years old. Man, I thought Mar Lopez looked young now look at him now. I want him, like, right now.

[C]

Yeah, but he looks really young now.

[A]

Yeah, like, he looks good.

[C]

Damn, you said that, too. That's.

[B]

But right now, he was, like, the.

[C]

Token black guy for a lot of shows.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He probably got that bag, though.

[C]

I think that fool was in. I forgot. Who's in another show.

[B]

Didn't find it. Well, anyway, great movie. Did you watch Power Rangers movies again?

[A]

I did.

[C]

I love Power Raises.

[A]

Mortified.

[B]

Mortify.

[A]

Oh, what was that?

[B]

Talking about Something else.

[A]

What the.

[B]

Was that.

[C]

From his uncle. That. All mine? American. I love Power Rangers. And there's a Japanese version called Kamen Rider. I used to watch that when I was like a little older.

[B]

I didn't do that. But isn't Power Rangers Japanese dubbed?

[C]

Yeah, Super Sentai. Then it just became in them.

[B]

Yeah, I love that.

[C]

I'm kind of Asian, by the way.

[B]

I'm kind of Asian. How many World Series titles do the Dodgers have?

[A]

Four, I think seven.

[B]

I think it's more than that. They won two, like recently.

[A]

Yeah. So they won one.

[C]

Don't they hate like that?

[A]

Four.

[C]

Well, who are your guys? Rivals. Don't you. What do you. Oh, you're not a dog.

[A]

What is Merced, then? I'm not yet.

[B]

The Giants.

[C]

The flying pipes.

[A]

The smoky bites.

[B]

The brill pads.

[A]

Well, yeah.

[B]

You don't know as a dodgy four, right? No, it's more than that. It's like six.

[C]

Wait, wait.

[A]

Before they came to LA or when they were in Brooklyn.

[B]

No, the Dodgers. The LA Dodgers. They have at least four. Five. Is it nine?

[A]

It's nine. Marty's eye too.

[B]

He's like, I didn't search anything.

[A]

I trust Rodman.

[C]

Shit rock.

[A]

Is it nine?

[B]

What about.

[A]

What about since they moved to. To Los Angeles?

[B]

I'm gonna say nine.

[A]

Dude, that might be different.

[B]

Watch a lot recently.

[A]

It's not nine. It's not nine?

[C]

No. I'm actually chilling right now.

[B]

You look high as hell since they.

[A]

Moved to Los Angeles.

[C]

8.

[A]

Damn, that makes sense.

[B]

It's like five before you were born.

[A]

Yeah, but the. The last couple ones been the ones here, you know what I'm saying? So.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Like I. I'm glad that, like, I haven't experienced a Laker championship as an adult. I experienced it when I was nine.

[B]

10. I was a kid.

[A]

But the Dodgers winning back to back behind me. Such great success as a prime adult when I have probably the most money I've ever had in my life. Being an adult and LA kid, it's the best thing. And now I know when you're raising cities like Boston and New York and you know what I'm saying?

[B]

Like, they have so much pride.

[C]

Like how.

[B]

Yeah, like.

[A]

Like you get it. Like when you're Yankee, like you've. You've just been through so much great things.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

I saw as an adult being able to enjoy the. The Dodgers winning. It's like the best ever.

[B]

What about the Rams? How come nobody cares about them?

[A]

They do. They do. People do care.

[C]

Those who's just Lost.

[A]

They just lost.

[B]

But I know but when they won the super.

[A]

I'm gonna let you know the Rams are like the food that left and came back cooler, super nonchalant, but just fly. And if you're a dedicated LA fan, you're automatically just gonna gravitate to them every time they come.

[B]

I know, but when they won, there was nobody out for that. That parade.

[A]

I felt it wasn't. Well, it was. It was like Brady knew when they had just came.

[C]

Did they win when the Lakers won too?

[A]

The Lakers one was during COVID and the last time. No. The Rams won right after covert. Right. If I'm not mistaken.

[B]

I think because I just remember looking at the streets empty. So with the la. That's why I was wanting to know.

[A]

The LA Dodgers is. It's all different world that's different.

[B]

You know, I think it is the Dodgers 1 whoever Mexicans support is really what it is in California. Cuz these just like the blue and white. A lot of people just like dress. That's a nice color combination.

[A]

You know what it is that it looks good Dodger. The Dodger Stadium. It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's the definition of LA culture. Foods would dress up super nice. Like it's not like I'm going be honest. The only food that are going bum me to Dodger games is the white people. Open toe sandals and just a jersey and some nice little swim shorts.

[B]

That sounds like an outfit.

[A]

That is you. If I were to. If I were to see Dopez Yola at a Dodger game with open toe saddle.

[B]

I'm be like what the catch me in open toe shoes.

[A]

My.

[B]

I do not work outside.

[A]

But I'm going tell you. I'm going tell you right now. Dodger game is you. You plan the day like you get fly, you get ready. You pregame a little bit. You get there the best. Some of the baddest bitches are there.

[B]

So it's like the nightclub for adults.

[A]

It's. It's literally the nightclub.

[C]

That's just a day club. Yes, it's.

[A]

And. And it's a vibe fool.

[B]

I've only been on mushrooms and I had a horrible time.

[A]

Oh, that's terrible.

[C]

You went on mushrooms?

[B]

Yeah, I didn't think they were gonna hit me that hard. And the only other time I went I was had the spins because I took a 2 gram dab and it.

[A]

You gotta stop smoking before you do social Yola.

[C]

I think that's a big part of it.

[A]

Because you know what it is?

[B]

You're such a loner.

[C]

Two gram dab was ten.

[B]

Made me feel sick.

[A]

Two grand.

[B]

Dad was terrible.

[A]

Who.

[C]

Why?

[A]

I did a dab one. I thought I was having a heart attack.

[B]

Well, you did take a dab before.

[A]

Yeah, when I was a kid. When I was.

[C]

Used to be a smoker when he was a child.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

I smoked. You may want to see me hitting for hitting them. Blunskis.

[B]

You took a dab at what age?

[A]

I took a dab at 15 with the homie sexer from the crew. And we took a dab at some fool's house. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna tell you right now. We took some. I took a dab where you would pay that for 250 for one dab or two for five, right? And I took that trash and I.

[C]

For sure.

[A]

And that should hurt my chest so bad.

[C]

2, 4, 5.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Titanium nail. I know it was.

[A]

Yeah. And that should hurt my chest so bad and. Yeah.

[C]

What the.

[A]

You ever hit the bong and you blow it out the other way and the little thing pops up and it gets dirty?

[B]

But I've seen it happen. It's funny as. It just looks funny.

[A]

I don't know why. You know, what up. I did that to the homie and I felt so bad. I would like to. Because I couldn't hold it and that's just blasting. I broke into the Peas and I have to buy him a whole new little piece.

[B]

You know the worst thing I ever did with weed last year. You smoke bongs?

[C]

Not anymore.

[B]

So I cleaned my friend's bong and I left a bunch of rubbing alcohol, and I'm like, yo, dump this out, fool. Like, that's how you clean.

[A]

Don't be a idiot.

[B]

You do it. I come back a week and a half later and the bowl's in it. I'm like, all right, cool. I pack it, I rip it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm like, what is that? Agent orange Vietnam smoke in my throat. And I just felt it going, like in neuron. Jimmy Neutron, where he goes through his brain.

[C]

I think that's.

[A]

So the death was going through all.

[B]

Of my bronchial things.

[A]

Damn, that hurts so bad. It hurts.

[B]

No, no, it hurt. You ever do your hard drugs? Like, you ever smoke crack before? No. You ever smoke meth before? It felt like smoking meth.

[C]

You smoked meth before?

[B]

You can taste the.

[C]

The rawness of your.

[B]

Of your like. Anyway, that's what happened to me.

[A]

You know the definition of sometimes you just got to go all in and then when you get it together. Look at this beautiful place.

[B]

Yeah, it's fun. I was doing the same, man.

[C]

When did you do.

[A]

When did you do meth in Merced, homie?

[B]

I'm telling you, I was a teenager, fool.

[A]

You wake up and you do meth.

[B]

Brush your teeth.

[C]

What age?

[B]

Fif. Fifteen.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

But it was actually the first.

[A]

I don't know why I thought you were going to say the fourth grade. I was like, we need to talk to your mom.

[C]

Hell no.

[A]

We need to.

[B]

I know some fools that were doing in fourth grade.

[A]

Yeah. For you to understand when you grew up in a home where nobody gives a.

[B]

Or your dad's doing rails.

[A]

Yeah, you're gonna do. I mean, there's foods that murder in the sixth grade.

[B]

Oh, dude. I remember people that were, like, having sex with each other in the fourth grade. I remember, like. What do you mean? He's like, yeah, sure. Mom was on my dog. What's wrong with you?

[C]

I jacked off when I was, like, in sixth grade. First time.

[A]

That's how good I like.

[B]

I like how you checked out your uncle.

[C]

That's what's called a handbook job. No, no, no. I did it myself.

[B]

No, I did it myself.

[C]

It was fire.

[A]

With your uncle's guidance right there.

[B]

Jakata.

[C]

Actually, no, I heard. I heard my hom. My Mexican homies talking about in sixth grade, and I was like, what the.

[B]

Talking about it like it's a new discovery and you can touch your dick. What do you mean you can touch it?

[A]

Oh, I remember. I remember.

[C]

I remember.

[A]

I remember the first homies. I had a phone in the fifth grade where, like, look up the board. He was looking at the. We're all watching it all the way in the back. We were just watching Porno on a PSP.

[C]

My homie brought it to sixth grade. Shout out. Chris Pineda brought the PS4. Him? Who cares?

[B]

He's a teacher now. Still got the psp.

[C]

He still has that PSP for sure. I feel like the PSP is so, like, underrated. It was such a good.

[B]

It's a whole PlayStation in your hand.

[C]

It's a whole PlayStation.

[B]

It's awesome.

[A]

That's where I watched the movie Doctown.

[B]

That's a good movie.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't really get into it.

[A]

Speaking of new movies, can you let us know?

[B]

Hey, they just broke top 10.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number nine. Oh, yeah, man.

[B]

Okay. For everyone out there, that's like, yo, these fools talking about the dick is to. Let's get into important topics. Your face just went Off.

[A]

I'll give you the routine. Whenever you leave this room, you got to go outside, get another gator of water, and then go wash your face in the bathroom and you'll be okay.

[C]

Intense dog.

[B]

Okay, hold on, hold on. The movie.

[C]

Your movie.

[B]

But it came out a minute ago, right?

[A]

No, it came out last week.

[B]

Oh, I thought it was like a couple weeks ago.

[A]

Stop smoking weed because it was a couple weeks ago.

[B]

I'm burnt. Okay, so it came out. Yeah, you. I know concrete is also in it. You guys both have roles in it. I know Jay Valentino has a little part in it also.

[A]

Yeah. DJ yeah, there we go.

[B]

So don't spoil the movie. Tell us how this came about. How are you in a mood? Because you were. It's not your first movie.

[A]

It's. It's not my first movie. So I. I filmed another independent movie before. Two other independent movies before. Little by little, everything got better. You know, the first independent movie I did was my green room was also the closet of the the dressing room, and it was in an apartment. And my. The way I want to go relax was there was shade in the sidewalk, so. Oh, nitty gritty. And then the second movie was a little better than that. And then, you know, you go to a movie that's, you know, and it was good, bro. I mean, shout out. My boy Jimmy, he tapped in and he's like, hey, fool, I got this role. Let's see what's about. And then we. We read the script, and then they didn't hear about it for a couple months. And then they came back and they're like, hey, we better start filming. You still down? And I was like, yeah, I filmed about. In total, I'm gonna say about 18 to 20 days. I'm gonna say 18. I like around within that time. 12 hour days. Some days were 12 hours.

[B]

And most of it's sitting around waiting for your. Right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know how that goes. 12 hours. Some days are four hours, some days are 15 hours. And some days are in the city of Yuba in Northern Cali. Have you heard of Yuba? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where the movie's basically based off. The homie J.D. he's from Yuba. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So without spoiling it, the only things that were in of a trailer or any promo, the give us a 10, like the 15 second. What is this? What is this movie?

[A]

Emotional emotion, a little bit of action. American Mexican dream, you know.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And we're following a guy's life and we're fighting a guy's life. A little bit of. A lot of. A lot of it is real. And then obviously the stuff you gotta add, the little dramatic scenes. I could say a little bit of my. I'm the comedic relief in the movie. So I'm very excited. Like, you know, I, I. And don't get me wrong, I would have loved to play any other role just because telling my boy Concrete, he is not funny at all in the movie.

[C]

And.

[A]

But it's because that's his role. His role.

[B]

I just like the way you said it.

[A]

And he not funny, but he, he killed his role. He did a great job being a villain. Slash. Yeah. A couple different things. So that's dope. But yeah, the movie's great, man. Y' all should go watch it again. Theaters all over the country. Just go to the KA Movie IG and then. Or go to. Just look up your nearest movie theater and be like, movie clicka. And then it'll come out. Your real Regal amc. The little ones. Y' all have. Like, can they stream it after a while? I'm not sure.

[B]

I'm not sure.

[A]

Hope. I mean, I would love for it to go on a Netflix or like a peacock.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Who's Sony with? Sony's with Peacock. I don't know. I don't know how that works. Sony Pictures, Columbia.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know. You know, usually you go with. You'll go with their outlet since, I mean, I'm seeing. I'm pretty sure they're seeing the success in the movie. So, you know, it's.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

What about a comedy special?

[A]

Comedy special. I haven't filmed the comedy special yet, but I am excited to film one. The goal was to film one the beginning of this year, but, you know, the movie came along and it's just been.

[B]

But, well, you have dude on the. And the homies. The new. The tour.

[A]

Yes, the tour. The comedy tour.

[B]

Cities. You doing, like, it looks like 30 something at least. I'm.

[A]

I'm doing a couple cities. Some, Some that I can't rem. Top of the head. Chicago. Seattle.

[B]

I just saw the thing. There's a lot.

[A]

Seattle, Chicago.

[B]

What? Bakersfield.

[C]

Are you doing Bakersfield?

[A]

I'm actually not doing Bakersfield this year.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Because they. It's only a theater. They only have a big theater, which I've done with Concrete and Jerry and then I don't. I think they have a comedy club. But, you know, comedy clubs, they. Sometimes it's not the best deal. And sometimes, you know, cities, you Know, you know, we're independent, so we'll get a little venue, but we haven't found one yet.

[B]

So.

[A]

I mean, if I do. We do do Bakersfield. I would definitely love to come, but. Yeah, we have. I have. I'm doing San Francisco for the first time.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Sacramento for the first time. I'm doing Merced. No, no, I'm doing Modesto and Salinas.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. And then what?

[A]

I think Congress doing Merced for real. I think he's doing the theater there. Oh, by Stockton, right? Oh, no, he's doing Stockton. The theater in Stockton.

[B]

Oh, okay. I know Renee's gonna do. Do Athena in Merced in May.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's dumb.

[B]

I've. See all my. There's. It's such a small town. When I see all my friends like, no way. And they're posting. Damn, dude. That's. That's right. I forgot. Cuz we see so many shows out here every night. What was that last night? I was watching shows, so I forgot what it's like when someone comes down. Like, it's sick.

[A]

Those cities are important to see, bro. They support. So I'm doing Selena's great city, Modesto. Pittsburgh, California. Sacramento, California. And then San Francisco, California. Sick. And then those are. And then I'm doing obviously like the Long Beach. The Covinas.

[B]

Do the Brea.

[A]

The Ice House. I'm doing BREA. Breath of February 6th. I don't know when this drops, but. February 6th.

[B]

What day does this drop?

[C]

This will drop Tuesday.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, right before.

[A]

So go to Orange County, Brad. February 6th. We're like 70 on both, so. Doing pretty well.

[B]

Big ass room.

[A]

Yeah, big ass room. And it is my first solo tour.

[B]

Oh, is it? Yeah, I guess it. I guess it would be because you did.

[A]

I. I mean, when I first came on here, I did like a couple individual shows.

[B]

Oh, I thought you were doing.

[A]

I was doing like one offs. Like one every month. But this is my first time.

[B]

Like, this is your third year now, right? Yeah, yeah. Because right when you started, you know, you were like eight, six, seven months in it. Maybe like eight. And then you came to the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that.

[A]

So I'm doing that and then I'm doing Chicago, Houston, McAllen, San Antonio. Gang of those, man. I'm excited.

[B]

We'll put the link. We'll put the link.

[C]

What about the DJ shot?

[A]

Oh, the DJ shit's going crazy.

[C]

Have you're doing so much, bro. This is tripping me the out, bro.

[A]

I'm looking very stone shut. The up and learn.

[C]

I got you.

[A]

Yeah, man. The DJ said, man, shout out my boy. I said, my boy Javi. Me and my boy Javi.

[B]

Do you actually dj? Yeah. Because I see you doing. I'm like, this motherfucker's faded. This will have like half a shirt on. It was doing this. I'm like, is this.

[A]

No, I saw you immediately.

[B]

I believe you. Because when I heard that you swim, I'm like, yeah, and then I saw you swim, I. I shocked me. So I understand that.

[A]

No, I like dj.

[B]

Dj. Yeah, no, I understand.

[A]

Yeah, I dj. Dj, shout out my boy Javi.

[B]

Damn, you could paint too. I. I need to get a hobby and get good at it, dude.

[A]

I need to get paid the most. The DJ foods. Get paid the most comedy. I'm not getting paid more in DJ. Yeah, not yet, but DJ, I know DJs that charge 300 bands a set. So now we're saying, homie, what DJs get to that money, fool.

[C]

How long is the set?

[A]

Sometimes an hour, sometimes two.

[B]

Wait, what? Yeah.

[A]

Play other people's. Well, not always. Nah. There's DJs like, they play their. Do you know any famous EDM dj? You can't think of one on top of your head?

[B]

I don't listen to edm.

[A]

Clooney, John John, Summit, Gordo.

[B]

I couldn't tell you what.

[A]

But point is, I got into the scene cuz I. I started raving with the hom and. And I fell in love with the house music and the. I mean, I shuffled as a kid, you know, like, you know, I was in that. I was in that phase. You know what I'm saying? My little.

[B]

I just love to hear that, you.

[A]

Know what I'm saying? Like, I was in that shuffle.

[B]

Shuffled, shuffling.

[A]

Yeah. You know, and then now that I'm older, you know, I thought. I thought I would never like it. And then I would have started going over the ra and just vibing house music.

[B]

Have a whistle and glow sticks type of.

[A]

No, but I definitely. But I'll definitely just be like, you.

[B]

Know, like jacking someone.

[A]

That's the only time I ever do.

[B]

I'll definitely be like, that's the only.

[A]

Time I ever do Molly in the water. Molly water.

[C]

He does. He does. A lot of you get.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

You know what's crazy? Will know what's in that water. Let me get you.

[A]

No, I tell my homie. I tell my homie, that's a mommy, don't tell me. Funny, I like being surprised because if you tell me, I'm over.

[B]

Don't tell me. No, I got too much anxiety for that.

[A]

No, I mean, just tell me a medium.

[B]

No, that I need to know that.

[A]

I'm just horny, but not like. Not like horny where I want to something just horny about life. Let me just.

[B]

That face biting your lip. I like it.

[A]

Yeah, we just.

[B]

The difference of Molly and mdma same damn near. I've never.

[C]

The thing is, he just doesn't want to know. That's it. Oh, he doesn't want to.

[A]

It's in the water.

[C]

He doesn't want to be told he's doing drugs. And he will never pop it if it's in that water, though. And they. No one tells them. It's okay. See, he practically wants to get set up to do drugs, but doesn't want to do drugs.

[A]

I'm gonna tell you right now, this is like once a year that I do this.

[C]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

That's awesome. Yeah, I love ecstasy. I just don't do it anymore.

[C]

But you go to raves often. Awesome. You go to raves off.

[A]

Yeah, but I don't do it at every rave.

[C]

You don't drink water at every rave?

[A]

At every rave. I'm not doing Molly and no, I'm not drinking water. Literally water, Tequila the whole time. You know the homies make in there, so. So yeah, I got into the scene and then the homie Javi one time was like, hey, fool, you wanna. If you wanna come DJ with me at Exchange in la. And I was like, yeah, I'm down. I was like, hey, for you gonna have to kind of guide me. I had already been practicing at home and. And then I pulled up and that fool. And that was a vibe, homie. And we're. And we killed it. And I was like, hey, fool, we should be like a dude. We should be like a duo.

[B]

That's how this happened.

[A]

And then he's like, I'm down, fool. And then we did the duel. We thought about my Leo Bros. And we've done that. We did academy. We just did. We have a lot of things planned for my Leo's, bro. We just. We're drop our first. Like, we're. We're going full throttle with this, like the dj.

[B]

Oh, that's why you're always doing something. But having a. I swear to God, I'll see your Instagram go. I'm tired. That. This. 80 places. Like, I can't do.

[C]

I gotta drive.

[B]

Are you driving? Yeah.

[A]

How?

[B]

How?

[C]

Just. Yep.

[B]

No, I get it. But like every time you're in a nightclub. Like, I'd be so faded.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

Like the homie.

[B]

That's what I'm saying, right? No.

[A]

Oh, like, like, like, like when I go party, do I drive?

[B]

Say everywhere you're at, like, dude, you have a driver. That's what I always believe a lot of the times.

[A]

A lot of times, yeah, that's what it is. But it's not like a driver where he's like, no.

[B]

He's like, hey, we're taking your car.

[A]

I just have that one homie shout out my homie mo. He likes to kick it, but he don't drink. And he's diabetic.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And all he does a lot. He would love being here right now.

[B]

That didn't need to be said, but.

[A]

I get it matters.

[B]

I don't think because he'd be in.

[A]

The club shooting up full insulin.

[C]

He gives people warnings before he does it. He'll tell people, hey, bro, I'm just gonna be doing my shit. I feel bad sometimes.

[A]

No, no, no. It's the best when they search them because I won't get searched with. And they'll be like, what the. And he'd be like, I'm diabetic, bro. I'm diabetic.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

One time, we're all the way in downtown LA, we drive 25 minutes to Pasadena to a club called the Stopa Pasadena. Right in downtown Pasadena. And we get there, we park and he's like, hey, I left my insulin back at the homies house. I'm gonna go get it.

[C]

If you're diabetic, you shouldn't be leaving your insulin nowhere.

[B]

You need this. So you need like, you need every.

[C]

40 minutes, you know, like some shit like.

[A]

But at the moment. And then. So he drove 25 minutes there, had to drive 25 minutes back.

[C]

And then 25 minutes and we're celebrating his birthday.

[B]

Nobody just went and got it for him?

[C]

No.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Was it his birthday?

[C]

What's his birthday? You remember?

[B]

I gotta be honest though. If I was diabetic, I would take full advantage to scare people.

[A]

Then what if he died on his birthday?

[C]

He wasn't gonna die.

[B]

But don't say stuff like, that's not sick. I'm just saying I think it'll be okay.

[A]

If you don't take incident, you die, right?

[B]

I mean, not right away.

[C]

Not right away. You probably go to a seizure and then you die later.

[A]

So dying is an option.

[B]

The way you said it was saying, like, if I was diabetic, I would take and I would shoot. I would hit it right here in public. Just like your homie at the nightclub. I don't drink.

[C]

I feel bad. The fact he has to tell people, like, hey, bro, I gotta.

[B]

Well, he should, because if you bust out a needle right now by. What's up, dude?

[C]

What's going on? What's up with your homie, my boy?

[B]

Yeah, you don't want to smoke, Matt, but he's over here shooting.

[A]

Exactly. The, the one thing is that he has to explain it for the.

[C]

That's, that's, that's cool.

[B]

That's the way you said. They're all nurse assistants. They know what's going on.

[A]

One time. One time.

[B]

I know what's happening.

[A]

Four time I was with a, like, me and her were just vibing and I looked and the corner of my eye I see the homie just shooting up and I'm like, hey, don't worry about that. He okay. But I, but and then she like, is he okay? And then, and then he makes the feel so bad for him.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

He sounds like a, like, oh, if I don't take it, I'll die. That's why I say he'll die, because he said that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He makes the.

[B]

So you believe. What the believe is all I heard right now.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, but he told me that, hey.

[A]

Did he not make the feel so bad?

[C]

I just gotta do this. You know.

[B]

It. That's what you got, right? You gotta deal with that. You might as well run with it. I had a limp. I would eventually make fun of it or use it to my advantage, dude. So if I had to do diabetes, yeah, I would definitely make it feel bad for me.

[A]

Yeah. So that's, that's, that's what life is right now. Just DJ comedy and shooting up and shooting up emotion the best way. The best. When he shoots up and drives on me.

[B]

I gotta be honest, bro, I would love to see that. I would really love to see that.

[C]

It's like a skill.

[A]

Yeah, it is. I got a video for you.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm gonna shoot up real quick for the hamio.

[B]

Shoot up real quick. I know you just did.

[C]

You gotta give him like some hit first or something.

[A]

Yeah, give him candy.

[C]

Candy first.

[B]

Is your homie fat?

[A]

Yeah, and he has nice tits. Like, we got mad tits, homie.

[B]

His s. Homie, he's got nice.

[A]

Am I lying or not?

[B]

People said the tea with so much emphasis.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's crazy also. Damn, dude, that sucks. I, I, I got to be Honest. So if it was like, yo, hit this needle, I'm like, dog, I'm gonna.

[A]

Go for a run.

[C]

I'm not.

[A]

I'm not hitting.

[B]

Well, you have tattoos. I'm afraid of needles. I don't.

[A]

Are you afraid of needles? I don't.

[B]

I hate them. They're disgusting.

[C]

Like, real fear.

[B]

Real fear I used to be very scared of. Now I'm just like this.

[A]

You just want to look like a kid.

[B]

I won't look. Oh, hell no.

[A]

Real quick.

[B]

Do you have a volleyball? Oh, yeah.

[A]

You do a water polo?

[B]

Water polo ball. Tattooed.

[C]

But these are all done with. What is it? You know, numbing cream. Oh, he's one of those guys.

[A]

I got these before there was a number.

[B]

He gets so fade. He falls out, falls asleep. Yeah, what else do you have? Any stupid ones you don't you regret having?

[A]

I used to have a crack pipe for my dad and I don't have it no more.

[B]

You got a crackpipe for your dad? What did he smoke?

[A]

Crack. Both.

[B]

Okay, but what did you do? Meth pipe. It's so much cooler.

[A]

Crackpipe?

[B]

Just a stick. Yeah.

[A]

No, no, no. It was a meth pipe. Oh, okay. With a little ball on it.

[B]

Yeah. The fact that you did that, insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what it get with what you got? Life gives you Levit. You tattoo a crack pipe on you, dude.

[C]

You do you touch a CIP before you do it.

[A]

I met Pipes.

[B]

Yeah. When my dad was on drugs all the time. Like I could do whatever I want. Look at the bright side, man. Like I could do.

[A]

I really wanted to get like the Virgin Mar. Like the Virgin Mary.

[B]

Crack pipe.

[A]

Yep. For him, cuz he loved her, but.

[B]

He also loved that her like this with a crack pipe. This is a very anti.

[C]

Don't know how you would do that thing.

[A]

Who are you to tell me about what my. My religion?

[C]

I'm nobody. I'm not saying nothing.

[A]

How does Allah look?

[C]

There's no. There's no.

[B]

How does Allah look?

[C]

There's no. There's no picture of our God. It's just God.

[B]

Because we don't have a picture of ours.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, what do you believe?

[A]

What are you.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

Alive? American.

[C]

True American cornbread.

[B]

I don't have any religious beliefs, man. My grandma's Jewish lady tried to make me do Hanukkah and then my other grandma's not religious and my mom took me to church twice.

[C]

You know what I like about church though?

[A]

His Jewish culture. I don't have the culture.

[C]

You don't have. No, you don't think you have any.

[A]

Tell them how you feel, fool.

[B]

I don't know anything I feel about what?

[A]

Tell them how you feel about the Jews.

[C]

I don't. I don't feel no type of way about this.

[A]

That's not true.

[B]

I'll make it rain right now if.

[A]

You don't stand on business, homie.

[C]

What do you want me to do? You want me to kick this with a face or something, bro?

[B]

Him so hard telling me to do.

[C]

What the I want to do. I could. I'm grown as I know what the.

[A]

I want to do.

[B]

Yo, turn the kiss. You guys got to start kissing yourself, dude.

[C]

He's just so, like.

[A]

He's not my time. He's not my dude.

[B]

Rub noses.

[C]

Come here. You're gay.

[B]

All right. You know when swans touch next. I want you guys to touch next. He's a swan.

[C]

I'm a swan.

[A]

He's a died. He dies.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

What does that mean?

[C]

Because they only have one mate. I'm trying to just.

[B]

That's some emo. If my swan dies, I'm going to die, too. Add you. I want to fly around. You want.

[C]

What type of bird would you be? You only get to be one.

[B]

A pterodactyl.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

Kind of is.

[C]

Kind of is.

[B]

Yeah. That win. I think I won that one. Yeah, it is.

[C]

What did it be like? It's a reptile for sure.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Because it's got wings in the sky.

[B]

Looks like a bird.

[A]

And what is that?

[C]

So it'd be kind of like a.

[B]

Bat, I guess, right?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

That's kind of like a bird.

[A]

What is the one from the movie Up.

[B]

I've never seen that movie.

[C]

They're dogs.

[A]

No, you stupid. The big bird dumb. What bird is that?

[B]

It's like ostrich or some.

[A]

I want to be a.

[C]

You know what?

[A]

That's a good bird. Yeah. Because I never had a neck. I want to know how much. What would you be?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I'd probably be a hawk.

[B]

A hawk?

[C]

Yeah. That's a falcon. It's the fastest thing in the world.

[B]

Yeah, I'll be a falcon. I'll be that. These are all great.

[A]

Oh, you love flying. That's why you said birds, huh?

[C]

I'm actually really scared of turbulence. Really terrified.

[A]

I don't think you're gonna think you're scared of turbines.

[B]

Is that what you said?

[C]

Turbulence? Have you guys ever felt some, like, really bad turbulence?

[B]

I was in turbulence so bad, I lifted out of my chair and I was floating and goes, what the Going on. And then it crashed down.

[A]

Hey, do you smoke before you fly?

[B]

I smoke everywhere. Yeah.

[C]

Wait, no, no, no. What happened there?

[B]

We dropped 300ft, he said, real quick, so. So we dropped a couple hundred feet real quick. It was doing a blizzard. And after this cannabis cup in Denver, it was the worst thing I ever did. And I lifted.

[A]

And you're big fool for it to live. Told me that was scary.

[B]

The only reason I didn't lift higher, because I'm like, why is my seatbelt tugging? And I went, what the. And I looked at Rosie and then everything went boom. And then everybody woke up. And then it sounded like machine guns, but it was the hail. No, no. So my thing is, stewardess is if they're. If they're white, we're good, you know? But, like, I had only Asian ones. And I'm like, oh, they'll kill all of us right now. Or Mexicans, because, you know, I know, but they don't want a bunch of nice white women to die on the plane. So if I see them, I'll attach myself like, oh, you ain't gonna die. If I see a nice white pilot that's in shape, I'm like, that loves doing stuff. He's gonna take us through this safe.

[C]

Pilots are the coolest people. They.

[B]

No, you have to be.

[A]

Wait pilots or.

[C]

Well, my uncles are dope.

[B]

See, I'd be scared.

[A]

If there's a Muslim.

[C]

They look cool as. Pilots are cool as. Yes or no. If. Hypothetically, if you had a girl and she. And she cheated on me, like, bro, if my cheats on me with a pilot, I'd be like, ah, shucks. You know, but that was a pilot way. He's not like a. He's not like a bum or nothing.

[A]

Like, you think pilots get what.

[C]

Hell, yeah, for sure.

[A]

They're like.

[B]

I. I would say they're like cops.

[C]

That's like. That's like. Yeah, to white people. That's like equivalent to being a rapper.

[A]

Get the out of here.

[C]

Like, you look at a bowling. You know, plastic surgeon.

[B]

Same, same. It's the equivalent rapper.

[C]

That's what it is. That's what it is.

[A]

We're all talking when there's Marty here.

[C]

Marty, come on. He know that I hate flying.

[A]

I've never met a pilot, but I'm.

[C]

Saying to white girls. To white girls. I'm pretty sure they're like. They're like, okay, hockey player, pilot. You're up there.

[B]

My cousin, plastic surgeon. No, for real. You're right.

[C]

Yeah, for sure. That's player as you're pimp. I know that because that. What's that? Leonardo DiCaprio movie.

[B]

That movie has sucked.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

I did not like that movie.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

It ended so dumb.

[C]

I don't like that.

[B]

Hey, I caught you. Freeze frame like it's a sitcom. I'm out of here.

[C]

But you remember when he was doing the pilot on him, Bro.

[B]

He's also Leonard Caprio. He looked a lot like Leonardo.

[C]

He does look a lot like Leo.

[A]

Let you know right now for Leonardo DiCaprio. Reminds us every movie that he gets.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Even if he was. His sister was fine. He wanted a. Let me tell you that.

[B]

You ever seen Gilbert? Great. He still pulled in that movie. And he played a guy. Which one? When he was like 15.

[A]

Oh. With his fat mom. When he was in that tent.

[C]

You guys are horrible.

[A]

Exactly. And then his mom was like. And then his mom hasn't stood up in 20 years and was like, baby.

[B]

You have seen movies.

[C]

You're a horrible person.

[B]

You have seen movies. Look at you.

[A]

The movie with like. Why is he in the tent of mom?

[B]

Hey, he was playing a slow guy, man. And he climbed a tree because he was sad, all right? That's why. Dude, he played that.

[A]

Put your hand on your chest to try to bite your shoulder.

[B]

My dad used to say that to me. I didn't get it for a long time.

[C]

Where'd you hear that?

[A]

Just do that.

[B]

No, my hands are cold.

[C]

No, I get it. I get it. Ah, that's not.

[B]

Who made the dude.

[A]

Ow.

[C]

No, no. I'll try to buy my shoulder talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[B]

Tried by your shoulder.

[C]

You guys are horrible people. I've never got into the Terminator movies, have you.

[A]

Shut up. To the people right now. I enjoy it.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Yeah, right there.

[A]

Move.

[C]

You gotta move a couple feet.

[B]

Oh, right there.

[C]

Terminator too.

[A]

Right here.

[B]

Look, right here.

[C]

Yeah. I've never.

[A]

I've never liked Terminator movies. What's wrong with you?

[C]

It's just too much to this. It comes to the future to go back to the future and to back to the past.

[B]

No, there's one thing. He comes to the future and he comes to the past.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

To kill. To kill somebody.

[C]

That's it. He doesn't go back. No. No one goes back to kill somebody else. And no one goes back to go come kill them.

[A]

And you know what I just found out?

[B]

Another guy comes back. Yeah, it's the same process. Another movie. I promise you.

[C]

And then what about the next one?

[B]

I. The next ones.

[A]

Okay, so you want to find out the Star Wars? Star wars is a love is a love.

[B]

Yeah. Two brothers, sisters be.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the dad's there the whole time going, I'm not gonna tell them the dad till they stop. And then I'm like, dog, I'm your dad.

[C]

They don't ever. They kiss.

[B]

Same thing. Dude. White people. It's the same thing, dude. They're married now. Star wars is okay. I'm good on Star Wars. Is that one of your top three too?

[A]

Is that better than her? It started better than Harry Potter for you. Get the out of here for sure.

[B]

I don't know. I don't. I don't care about either or Lord of the Rings is good.

[C]

So much is really good. I mean Indiana Jones is cool as.

[B]

They are cool movies guys once for me. That's all one. Just once.

[C]

Wow. You like white guys with a whip. Crazy.

[B]

What? White guys with a whip. Oh, you're talking about Indiana Jones. I'm talking about Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, all that. I'm okay. It's cool to watch one.

[A]

See how that one didn't land and we didn't catch it. You wanted it to land, but it didn't.

[C]

I was actually.

[A]

You wanted it to land. That's how you know. Shut the up sometime.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That was so. And I'm.

[B]

And I was.

[C]

But I mean like. But I mean like realistically your opinion doesn't matter to me.

[A]

And I was waiting for you to be like, huh? Nobody.

[C]

I'll stop talking throughout this whole right now shut the up basically.

[B]

And I'll shut the up right now.

[C]

Never a problem for me.

[B]

Drink the whole water.

[C]

I'm already hard.

[B]

No hands.

[A]

What really happened then? 9 11. One of the best South Parks episode of all time.

[B]

Where were you all 9 11? Oh, no. The ladder to heaven. That's what it was. The boys built the ladder to heaven. Wait, no, that's two different episodes.

[C]

You're right.

[A]

You're right. No, no.

[B]

What were you on that of the country guy?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

What really happened then? 9 11. And then it's a. With the two brothers from Canada. And what was the obsession with Canadians in the movie in the show?

[B]

So just make fun of them because they're near us. That's why they just balance to do this because they're dumb.

[A]

That was a whole joke that they were stupid.

[C]

They're retarded.

[A]

Crony.

[B]

That's all it is.

[A]

Crowd Great.

[C]

Great.

[B]

Isn't it funny to make fun of an entire country and nobody got mad about it. They still love South Park. I never met a Canadian goes South Park. They make fun of us.

[C]

Like they think it's funny. It's like it's funny as they're super nice people.

[B]

It's hilarious.

[C]

Yeah. I hate. I hate that. I don't really care. Sure. But my favorite is the. The Chinese episode. Do you know what that is?

[B]

Of course. Shady Walk.

[C]

Shady Walk. Okay.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

But it's actually Butters's therapist, and he has multiple or personality syndrome.

[B]

That's like the episode five of him. They go, he's white.

[C]

Yeah, but. But they let him.

[A]

But there's a white guy.

[B]

The shitty walk. Oh, hello, Shitty walk. The Asian guy that owns.

[C]

Yeah, that's really a white guy. He's really a white guy. Yeah, but they let him.

[A]

I've never seen this episode.

[C]

Yeah, they let them do that because they have no other Chinese.

[B]

Know the Chinese food.

[C]

South park, like.

[B]

And it's good food. So let's just let.

[A]

I never knew that. The city walk.

[C]

Yeah, he's actually a therapist.

[A]

$50. $900.

[B]

That guy.

[A]

Oh, my. He's a therapist. He's.

[C]

He's a. His. Butter's his therapist originally, but he actually has multiple personalities.

[B]

So. One of them is a Chinese man.

[C]

Yeah, one of them a Chinese man.

[B]

He's a good actor.

[A]

Oh, my God. Your friends were like butter and. And. And. And Garmin when they.

[B]

I'm not going to put anything icky in your mouth.

[C]

Mouth.

[B]

That episode. Yes. Here you might see a penis in my mouth. It's a low aperture. Yeah. That is a good episode, man.

[A]

That's a dark. That's some dark.

[B]

That's a funny one. You might see a little penis in my mouth.

[A]

Okay, that's gay. That's not gay.

[C]

He took a picture of Butters's penis in his mouth.

[B]

Yeah. He was like, look at this. He put his dick in my mouth. How gay.

[C]

Like, no, that makes you gay.

[B]

No, this really happens. Dude. I was talking to Rafa. I want to.

[C]

That doesn't really happen.

[B]

I try. Ready? I want to be able to say this. I'm trying to work this into a bit. I don't know how to do it. It's a story. This happened to me in the 9th. The 10th grade.

[A]

From your friend. I wanted to have a.

[C]

Three different.

[A]

Homie.

[B]

I don't know what's going.

[C]

And they're all.

[B]

None of them are Mexican kids. They're all white kids. Random dude.

[C]

Ready?

[B]

Look at this kid named. Let's say his name's Justin and my homie Anthony, we all know each other. I'm on the football team with the kids. Three guys, right? We always meet up at the park. We smoke weed every fucking day after. We got football practice dicks.

[A]

We smoke weed.

[B]

Yeah, that's what we did.

[A]

It's just in the park at the trade show.

[B]

And we know Justin is the only guy with a girlfriend. Like, he's like, got a girlfriend? I'm like, damn, Just got a girl. That's cool. We're on a football team. We're like young kids and shit. And like, oh, that's cool. He's got a girlfriend.

[C]

We know you're like ninth grade or.

[B]

Yeah, like, no, going into tenth grade. Like, oh, cool. Just got an actual girlfriend. Yeah, he's all the time like, oh, that's cool. And then I'm like, oh, cool. And he comes like, guys, I had a threesome. And me and go, shut the up. Because, you know, this girl's a like, no way.

[A]

You guys were, like, proud of that.

[B]

Oh, we high fived immediately. Like, no, we had a threesome. This is incredible.

[C]

That's pretty fire.

[B]

I'm a year behind, a year younger. So I'm 13, 14, and 9th and 10th grade. This kid's sick. I'm like, yeah, you gotta.

[A]

This guy.

[B]

Yes, that's exactly what we said. We're smoking weed out of a, like, makeshift pipe. And I'm like, so what happened? And he's like, so, you know, me and my girl are there. He's like, talking about him. Like, okay, so who. What? Like, what's going on? He goes, so I won't say Maurice. I'm like, you know, me, her and Maurice. I'm like, stop.

[C]

Hold the on.

[B]

What'd you just say? He goes, yeah, threesome. Like another Kai. My girl is a. In my head. Like, she's such a. I'm like, dude, that's. I guess if you're down, like, not for me.

[C]

Oh, I guess if you're down.

[B]

Some dudes are down with that.

[C]

It's not gay, but you just let another dude yo.

[B]

At the same time. I'm not done.

[A]

That's not gay. He's not gay. He's a cook, but he's not gay.

[B]

Yes. I'm not. I'm not close to being done. He goes, but it's a threesome. Like, yeah, I guess, but like, two girls. And he's like, yeah. I'm like, so what happens? Like, so you know, it was cool, though. Like, no, he's like, you know, I'm banging her. He bangs her and he bangs me. It's a threesome. And we just stop. Whoa.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

No.

[B]

Like, I have the lighter like this. And he just stops. What'd you just say? He goes, yeah, like it's a threesome. And he kept saying, it's a threesome. Go, say it again. What happened? He goes, she bang. I was banging. Then he started banging me, and then I was banging her like, it's a threesome. What did you just did? You don't have to do that. Because. Yeah, but it's like a threesome. That's what you do. Go, dog. You don't have to get.

[C]

What.

[B]

What do you say? And then he started like, no, no, it's a three. And he's just laughing his ass off. And I'm. I'm trying to like, no, this guy's gonna kill himself or something. Like, we gotta chill.

[A]

Oh, I could just say, like, he's gonna find out he's gay.

[B]

He thought he was the man. Because a guy. Yeah. He's like, yeah, I had sex with this dude. He begged. You know, I banged her. It's a threesome. Yeah. Like, dog, that's gay as fuck. That's not gay. It's a threesome. I'm like, all right. That fool did this. I'll see you guys later. And walked off. I never saw him again.

[C]

You're lying.

[B]

I went back to school the next day. There's five dudes around Maurice. Because Anthony told everybody. I go up to Maurice. He is the nastiest man in the world. He'll bang anybody on. He's the grossest. He's our running back. He's the grossest guy ever. I'm like, yo, what happened with Jesse? Goes, I didn't get. I ain't gay. And walked right off. He didn't give a. Justin. Moved to. He moved away immediately. Moved away. Never saw him again. Ever again.

[C]

Your homie that got fucked.

[B]

He moved away. I saw him. I was 19 years old. I'm walking in San Francisco. I'm walking to Haight Street. I look in this pizza place and off a mirror, I see him gay as very fabulously gay. And he sees me and ducks under the table. Last time, I know he's gay. Why is he so embarrassed? I don't know. But my friend was like, I'm not gay. Moved to San Francisco. Was just gay guy now. So he was gay the whole time? Yeah, but that's the best threesome. Story I. I've ever heard.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

That's not yours to tell.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It is.

[C]

The whole school knows. I like that. That was a really good story, but I just.

[A]

So you're trying to figure out how to make it a joke?

[B]

Yeah, I'm trying to.

[C]

Like, I knew how. You just wasn't how. You just said it was a joke. I don't know.

[B]

There's more. There needs be more.

[A]

And then I think end there with the San Francisco. You need a punch of when he ducked. What's the punch?

[B]

After he ducked in the table and started sucking some dude's dick.

[A]

Immediately, That's good. And then it's just like.

[B]

And then I just thought it was funny. Like, you moved away. We were friends. We hung out every day. He's on the phone football team with me.

[A]

Are these.

[B]

Never came back. Okay, let's just.

[A]

Let's just back up real quick.

[B]

All my homies are secretly gay. Now I have three homies that I hung out with out of 12.

[A]

I'm like, damn, you know what? Say, homie.

[B]

You never know. Man, that pizza taste is nice.

[C]

Fabulous. Oh, man, he looked better than how he looked before.

[A]

He had.

[B]

He had a. He was. You know those fabulously gay dudes. He had like a spaghetti strip ring on and two earrings. Girls. I went. And right when I was about to say something like, yo, what's up? He just ducked on there.

[C]

All right. You were gonna say what's up there?

[B]

Of course. It's my friend right there.

[A]

You wanted a fun.

[B]

I would have grabbed his dick for sure.

[A]

He's probably wondering what you were doing there.

[B]

Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, Jakarta has a fabulous cousin.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, we all have a fabulous cousin. You're Mexican. You got eight fabulous cousins.

[A]

I actually don't have any that you.

[B]

Know of.

[C]

But even like, lesbian or something.

[B]

For sure. What's wrong with you?

[A]

I have a lesbian. I do have a. She's a stud, too. That's a homie, though.

[C]

So I'm saying that's the homie, though.

[B]

We talked about this.

[C]

That's the same as a fabulous cousin. For sure.

[A]

I think I have a gay homie that's not ready to come out.

[B]

Probably just staring at this one. He loves gray. He loves the word Heather Gray on me. Yeah. You wouldn't be for sure if you were gay.

[C]

I just like you don't. I don't. I don't be. Right now. I only. Probably four girls, bro.

[B]

I only know four.

[A]

Can you imagine?

[C]

All from her side.

[B]

Oh, Are they. They all got kids. Out of four, there's 12 kids. You. You're a stepdad to 12 kids. Did you know that?

[C]

If I had the money, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it.

[B]

Of course you would.

[C]

Yeah. Why would I. You know, Would you do it?

[B]

Have 12 kids?

[C]

Yeah. Would you have 12 of your own kids?

[B]

No.

[A]

Gross.

[C]

How many kids do you want?

[B]

I don't know if I even want any.

[C]

Really.

[B]

Yeah. But maybe two if I ever. Do you try to have kids too?

[A]

Maybe in a little bit.

[B]

Maybe like, you're 26?

[A]

25.

[B]

25. 25.

[A]

I'm 26 this year actually, though. In March.

[B]

Yeah. So you got hella time for me. How old are you?

[C]

Oh, no, no, I'm chilling.

[B]

How old are you?

[C]

Great. Oh, 26.

[B]

Oh, okay. Same age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you allowed to have kids in Muslim countries?

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

I'm just kidding.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

They'll say, how would they. How would there be more of you? I was just.

[C]

I think they have to reproduce.

[B]

You have to have a certain amount of kids in that culture.

[C]

You could have up to four wives. Three wives.

[B]

What?

[A]

Not in America, though.

[C]

Not America.

[B]

How does your religion differ in America?

[C]

Because America has laws.

[B]

Would you say that you're married?

[C]

No. I mean, because in America, if you're trying to get married, you need to get the marriage certification first. I used to work at like a church.

[B]

So. Wait, you can't just have four girlfriends.

[C]

No, you could. Oh, you can't. You can't in California.

[B]

So you're in Utah.

[C]

Like, you know, Mormon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're in Utah, you have four wives.

[C]

I'm pretty sure. Because Mormons just have like hella wives. They have like six, seven.

[B]

I gotta be honest. That's balls, yo. I know, but it was funny when he said it to you. I gotta be honest, dude, having multiple wives sounds not fun at all.

[A]

Why is it not fun having one?

[B]

I'm saying having multiple wives.

[C]

He's already stressed.

[B]

How many people do you have to.

[A]

One that gets scared of four.

[B]

No, they're not stressed at all.

[A]

How many do you scream?

[B]

Scream?

[A]

Shut the up, babe.

[B]

No, dude, a kidney punch does more than words that could ever do, man. It doesn't leave a bruise. Nothing.

[C]

Dude, it leaves a bruise for sure.

[B]

I promise. Not the way I do it. The way I do it.

[C]

If there's one body part you would sell, like an organ, what would you sell?

[A]

Thinking like my dick.

[B]

An organ?

[C]

Yeah, you know, some people.

[B]

Some people selling any organs.

[C]

Some people need kidneys and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, I need it.

[A]

Yeah, I probably said like my extra fat to a kid in Africa.

[B]

That's not an organ. Everything you just said was vital.

[C]

Why the would that kid want to buy your.

[B]

Cuz he's skinny.

[A]

He's gone.

[C]

He's gone.

[B]

And his cousin has dick skin. You're a foreskin girl.

[C]

Get into a sweater.

[B]

That's what happened. Like, exactly what I'm saying.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. What Oregon.

[B]

I would none. Dude, you need them all.

[C]

Yeah, you need them all.

[A]

I can live without one candy fool.

[C]

No, you can't live long.

[B]

Long time. You're supposed to say long time.

[C]

If you live live long time.

[B]

You can't live long time. That's what you. You can't.

[C]

I love you long time.

[A]

Chitty walk. If we ever got a happy ending, me and Jakarta, the kings of it.

[B]

Are you guys really?

[A]

Yeah. You want to come join us? Not with us. Together. Like we won't do it.

[C]

We're not the kings. Like we're active players. We played the game once or twice.

[A]

That's Jakarta. You paid him more than that.

[B]

You guys are real close. If you guys are jacking each other off, it's crazy.

[C]

Dude, not each other.

[B]

Oh, I thought you said you guys are doing happy endings to each other.

[A]

No, no, no. So we go to a spot where you know the girls by names. You know, shout out Ling and park.

[B]

Her name's Park. That's what she does. Telling you what to do.

[A]

And we get there and then Jakarta. Every once in a while we switch it up. Like Jakarta will go with Ling Ling. I'll go park. Or I'll go with Ling Ling. And he would go park and you.

[B]

Guys jack two dudes off in these rooms. That's crazy. I never heard of name Ling Ling in my life.

[A]

But. But we get like the exclusive like tv, you know what I'm saying? So we know if it's gonna get rated. We're. We're no cap.

[C]

I've seen. I've lucky one time I was gonna happy ending. I was on the bed and I've seen this lady had the monitor of cameras. So like dead ass. Because some of those. That's the last thing I want to happen to me. If I get swatted. If the place gets swatted and I'm butt ass nigga getting like a hand job or something. I think I kill myself, bro.

[B]

Instantly just choke himself.

[A]

What are you doing? Japanese do you just put on your shorts and just.

[B]

I, you know. What you do? You get under the massage table and wake that out.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

Get under the table and just wait it out.

[A]

What do you. What?

[C]

Oh, no, no, no. You're. They'll go through every room. I've never been through this. Don't.

[B]

Don't worry. They swab your fingers and your mouth and everything.

[C]

No, no, no. But I'm saying they're swatting you.

[A]

So Jakarta studies for massage parlor raid. So you know what to do when it does happen to me.

[B]

Stupid as you ever see Matilda? I'm gonna be at the top like this at the top of the ceiling.

[A]

Wait, Matilda the movie?

[B]

She's underneath the table.

[C]

Would you associate Matilda?

[B]

Because remember she's underneath the table. That'd be me in the corner at the massage bar trying to get arrested.

[A]

Matilda's a great movie when she's getting ready with. That is a song. Who is she playing with the cereal? I know what you're talking about.

[B]

There it goes.

[A]

There it goes.

[C]

That hit that.

[B]

It was the McDonald's.

[C]

Ch.

[B]

I did a.

[C]

Hey, what do you. What do you. What do you eat around this area? Like I'm trying some good ass food.

[B]

Don't do. I don't eat meat like an.

[C]

You only eat meat.

[B]

I don't eat meat.

[C]

You don't.

[B]

So everything I suggest is what are you vegan? Vegetarian. What are you vegetarian?

[C]

You're vegetarian for how long?

[A]

When did you get off, Marty. See a real Buffalo, New York.

[C]

Marty.

[B]

You never been here his whole life.

[C]

N. I just went back. Oh, you guys like tofu back? I'm back. That's my favorite. I love tofu. Nasty.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You're a.

[B]

And she gets you estrogen. Seriously.

[A]

So what are you estrogen?

[C]

Is.

[B]

Is it soybeans with the dudes Hormones, dude.

[C]

I love tofu.

[B]

Dude.

[C]

Fried tofu is the best you been.

[B]

Oh, dono.

[A]

Stop screaming. I don't do coke.

[B]

No no food.

[A]

Don't talk about Muslims. But I could say like so shut our ass up. I didn't know. Now I know why you're such a focus.

[C]

Manicures and pedicures. Shut the up you're getting. I'm clean too.

[A]

I'm clean.

[B]

I'm going start saying that for everything. I saw you sucking that dude's dick. I'm to going clean.

[C]

Clean.

[A]

I'm not Maurice. I'm actually. I'm Maurice.

[B]

You are Maurice. I feel bad for that. For imagine what that I don't jumped table.

[C]

He jumped under the table and he was like oh my God.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Oh, dude, he's like a lawyer or something somewhere for sure.

[A]

Maurice or the other.

[B]

Oh, Maurice. No, he's got like 12 kids with a bunch of nasty white. He's that guy. It's disgusting.

[C]

But he's the one that got right.

[B]

No, he's the one that. He's the one that did. The guy that moves probably is like a lawyer.

[C]

I thought he said. I thought you said your homie in the circle, when he was like. He was like, yeah, the guy banged me. Or he said, I banged the guy he got banged by the guy he got banged by. Who's the guy in the circle? Was that Maurice?

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh, oh.

[B]

When he was circled by everybody? Yeah.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

When you were.

[B]

You guys, it was me, Justin, Anthony.

[A]

Can you pay attention on me?

[C]

Got a little bit lost. What the.

[B]

It's high.

[C]

As high as I could. Yeah, bro, I'm high too.

[B]

Okay, hold on. What day? Oh, what happened? You said real quick. I had this note. We started talking about the dumbest in the world brown bag. You guys stopped?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

For.

[A]

We're taking a little hiatus.

[B]

It's been like, what you guys been doing, like four years, five years, almost five.

[A]

CC does that stupid breathing like what he did to the homie.

[C]

What would I do?

[A]

I'm do that again.

[B]

Exhaled. Yeah, you're a for breathing.

[A]

Yeah, we did a little hiatus.

[C]

Wasn't hugged as a child. All these priests used to hug him.

[A]

That one hit.

[C]

Yeah, I know it hit, bro. All my hit.

[B]

Yeah, I know it hit. Yo, so. So how long did it stop for?

[A]

We don't know yet.

[B]

Oh, okay. Is it like a scheduling thing? You guys get bored? What's going on?

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. It just. It's not. It's not too crazy, you know, Sometimes things just need a break and you need to come back to it, you know?

[B]

Plus, I gotta be honest, dude, if you have to come do all that and if you're gonna be on the road and you're doing your tour, it does throw a wrench in your filming schedule for sure.

[A]

But. But I mean, I mean, I was able to make it work the last couple times, but. Yeah, I just. I think it's time for me to get one thing off my shoulder for a little bit. And, you know, when. When it's. When it's time to come back, it's come back hopefully fresh, brand new, and with a good feeling, you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Are you still doing the hood vlogs?

[A]

I haven't done One in a minute. Actually, me and Jakarta just been killing it with Cheese Mood Uno. Which actually worked out perfect because I was trying to, like, find a way to bring the homies on a podcast and then do it, though. And then. And then. And then. The other homies weren't really meant for it. Just respectfully, you know, they're not funny. They're a bunch of. When they're on camera.

[B]

Respectfully respectful. They're a bunch of. And not funny.

[C]

Let me just verbally abuse these.

[B]

Jesus Christ. All respectfully.

[A]

But off camera, they're the biggest personality. It's just what it is with some people.

[B]

Some people just.

[A]

And they see this.

[B]

They just.

[A]

And then I told Jakarta once, I was like, you want to come to the pod, see where it goes?

[C]

And then my boy right here, just.

[B]

Pretend it's not there.

[A]

No, but your car is good in front of the camera.

[C]

You two were homeboys, just growing up type.

[A]

We actually met when our boy passed away, which actually. We're gonna go visit.

[C]

Yeah, we're actually gonna go visit right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, my homie had passed away, and then I came to the house. So we're like. They had a little candlelight thing. I seen Duno. We talked. He was kicking it with my other homies. I didn't even kick with this for you. And then I kicked it with him one time, and we started kicking it.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

He started. And then he started.

[C]

Why are you so gay? For real.

[A]

Why are you so gay?

[B]

All right, who's the wife? Who's the husband?

[A]

I'm 100% the husband. I get the money, I got to pick. I gotta drive this fool. Feed him, Pick him up, drop him off.

[C]

Hey, don't say feed. Don't say feed me, bro. Don't say feed me. You hold him and feed him.

[A]

When you sit on your lap, that.

[C]

Be you're gay, my boy.

[B]

No one on his lap.

[A]

He's not gay. Everybody else's life is gay.

[C]

But not to have. To have that many homies that were, like, not gay.

[B]

Kind of wild.

[C]

That's wild.

[A]

It makes me think you.

[C]

Have you ever explored, Pops? Come on. You ain't never no ass before.

[B]

No. It is kind of odd, though.

[C]

Yeah, that's really weird.

[B]

But not really, though.

[C]

Something's in the water.

[B]

It's a small town, like a gay ass.

[C]

Cousins over there. Like, how many high schools?

[B]

No, three now.

[C]

In Mercedes, there's only three high schools.

[B]

There's three now.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What is the name? Jakarta. Wants to go visit him.

[B]

You know the gay one.

[C]

So everyone knows everybody? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's a small town.

[B]

Or related to each other. Damn.

[C]

You must be the man.

[B]

When you go back, bro, I stay in the house. I don't go nowhere.

[C]

Nah. But walk down the street every now and then. Go by the tracks. No, go by the tracks.

[B]

They're my dad's friends, dumbass.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

I will lie. I ran the homies you've seen.

[C]

Your homies are growing up that are just, like, tweakers and now, like, people you knew. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

The little city way.

[B]

It's like, all my best friends live outside. Except for 1. Oh, 2.

[C]

All your best friends? What? They.

[B]

They're homeless outside?

[A]

Yeah, all of them.

[B]

All for two.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Like, all seven. Six of them?

[A]

Yeah, they're all gone.

[C]

They. They kick it.

[B]

Honestly, dude, I think some of them do, which is kind of, like. Kind of cool for me still. Like, it is sad to me, though. Like, you're my best friend. My best homie. That was, like, gonna be a model for Hollister. This little Paul Walker full just. I just saw a picture of. Dude, you're like, skeleton. It's so weird. Like, he just.

[A]

Or he had a merced.

[B]

It's just. It's a weird feeling.

[A]

See what happens when you have stupid stuff?

[C]

I don't want to ask any more stuff.

[B]

It's sad, dude. There's so many of my homies live outside or, like, they're missing or some.

[A]

Next time, shut the up.

[B]

Yeah, it sucks, dude.

[A]

I'm so high.

[C]

I was asking about food, and he said, there's no food.

[B]

No, you said what's. And that's what you said. I'm like, yeah, that's true.

[A]

I'm mad. He's dick.

[B]

Oh, so you're. You're the wife.

[A]

I'm the man helmet.

[C]

We're both men, and we're not a married couple. I think I see of us as.

[B]

I see take your height to advantage. But I look down on you. You're my wife.

[C]

I see kangaroo. He's the mother kangaroo.

[B]

And you're in his house. Yeah. You're the biggest one. Like, yeah, I'm gonna sit.

[C]

Yeah. I like.

[B]

You're on the handlebars is what you're saying. Oh, and he's pedaling.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He eats this chore realistically.

[C]

Oh, my. It's weight distribution. If we're on a bike together, he has to be pedaling. There's no way in hell you're gonna be on the handlebars. I'm sorry. That ain't gonna move at all.

[A]

You say you're 6, 4, 3. Fat.

[B]

Weight.

[C]

Distribution. Like I said, distribution. Spell it out. D I. Go ahead. D, I, S, T, R, I, B, U, T, I, 1. Distribution.

[B]

He's like, I can't check you and say right. I don't know how to say if you're wrong.

[C]

I could do better than a spelling bee if I could write. If I was able to write.

[A]

Give us a couple words. Marty, we're ready to rock.

[B]

Spell receipt.

[C]

R, E, C, E, I, P, T. Yeah, you're right. Or if I just run through them. If I run through them, I could do it. Just run through them.

[A]

Conquer your mouth.

[C]

You know what I feel like if you didn't know concrete, you wouldn't know how to spell concrete.

[B]

That's probably true.

[C]

That's true as well.

[B]

Wait, you tag. You got to know how to. You ever tagged and spelled wrong?

[A]

For sure, for sure.

[B]

That's. That's funny.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yeah. So in high school. So in high school we're chilling, right? But you know when you're like, you know, the seniors, they already have like their president and the treasurer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And like the. Okay, so it was our, I think our 11th grade year. So, you know, we're choosing the next person and me and my homies were all in the stands and my, my school, my school was like a big ass school with four different academies, four different high schools. So our senior class, our senior, our senior class was only like 115 people, right? But it's the school's big, right? We're sitting in the thing and you know, people are coming out pitching their like, like elections. You know, they're why you so vote for the. And one of the girls comes out and was like, hey, Martha, King Luther once said, dog, we got a laugh attack in the stands. And for like two years straight, we just made that joke. And one day, like a month before we graduated, she like, we said the joke. She like, get the fuck over it already. And then I seen her two years ago, like two years ago at the gym, and she was with another girl. When High school, another girl went to high school, couldn't say hi. And I was like, she don't want to come to hi. She's like, nah, she's not over that part. The King Luther joke.

[B]

Was she black?

[C]

No one in their school was black.

[B]

Oh, wait, you just said, oh, Mexican. The fact was, she's super spooked out, though.

[C]

No, no, but she's running. She was running for a president or treasure.

[B]

That doesn't mean anything.

[C]

Well, no, she definitely wasn't like a short Oaxacan girl. I don't think so.

[A]

She was.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But she was like, a really nerdy one. Just the nerves got to her, you know?

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[C]

I would hate to Martha King Luther.

[A]

Oh, my God, Let me tell you.

[B]

I'd rather fail by school than go.

[C]

And I'm pretty sure she was one of the smart girls, right?

[A]

Yeah. Everybody that ran, like, I didn't run. I would have won.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

I would have been. That would have been like me and, like you and Mercedes. If I would have ran for president, I would have been a joint. I would have won. But then.

[C]

And then went off popularity, huh?

[A]

For that's. That's what election is. Let me tell you right now, if we're gonna go deep, anything like that is off popularity for sure. And then. And then another girl came out and was like.

[B]

You'Re trying to get everybody on the side.

[A]

Like, if she was in that job, everybody was like, shut up.

[B]

Well, none of that ever happened. The only time I ever did the election where I showed up. So I ditched a lot. This girl was running for president, and this angel goes standing. She has a skirt on. And then I'm in the front. I'm like, this is the worst.

[A]

Damn. I would have fuck her because she's not a guy.

[B]

She just started her period.

[C]

Dude, you said she just started her.

[B]

Period running down her fucking leg.

[A]

Get the fuck out of people.

[B]

Odd life. You know, what happened is like a. The teacher. The teacher came up and talked to her. She took her off. She came back like three minutes later with a gauze bandage on her knee to like, oh, she was bleeding out.

[C]

Her knee.

[B]

Let's save you the embarrassment. That came from under your skirt.

[C]

Were you the only one I knew? No, Everyone.

[B]

No, I was. Might as well been the movie Carrie. Everybody was like that.

[A]

Oh, my God, look at this blood.

[B]

Coming down this leg. It was so sad.

[A]

I seen a lice on a girl before. You know what you lies. Like in. In eighth grade, we were still, like, in rows.

[C]

Like, I know. He announced that it wasn't me.

[A]

It wasn't me. I. I'm not a mean person. Now. Somebody else told her. Nah. What time? Shut up. I ain't gonna lie. I ain't gonna lie. The homie Andy Marquez. You're a piece of. That's my boy, though.

[B]

First headline.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. I just had a baby. He was like, your baby's ugly.

[B]

Nah, I'll fight you for that. That's crazy. That's crazy as hell.

[A]

What is the equivalent of.

[C]

You can't be calling people's babies ugly.

[A]

And what is that equivalent to you?

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like you roll like a. You'll be like, I need it. I need that. Like, what's like the most disrespectful in the weed smoking world? Like when you drop your blunt, call your girl because she's getting. Is that like something. Just get a made up. I've never heard that.

[B]

So. Yes, you've never heard that?

[C]

If you drop your bus almost your.

[A]

You never heard that?

[C]

That's what people say all the time.

[A]

Oh, but all your homies each other.

[B]

It's like, I've never heard that.

[C]

My homies, your homie.

[A]

Him. It's like, pretend like I'm cool.

[B]

Like, pretend like I'm cool. It's a thing.

[C]

It's a thing while you're smoking. The thing is someone's your.

[B]

I've never heard that in my life. I've never dropped.

[C]

Yeah, People say I rarely dropped the joint.

[A]

You've never heard that?

[B]

Never.

[A]

Well, you know why? Because he smokes alone a lot. Because he's a loner or I smoke with my wife.

[C]

He drops the joint. Did you Socks her. You're somebody right now.

[B]

I know it.

[A]

You never heard that?

[B]

Never.

[A]

You never heard. Oh, collar bits.

[B]

Never mind some ghetto.

[C]

Or like, you just dropped the blood.

[B]

Ah.

[C]

Like you never heard it.

[B]

Calls you a for dropping the weed.

[C]

Everyone just knows.

[A]

You know what? Let's answer.

[B]

Marty, do it.

[A]

Hello?

[B]

Marty.

[A]

Yo, Marty, I'm doing the podcast with Yola. Let me call you back. You caught twice already.

[B]

Opposite attitude this morning, yo.

[A]

Yeah, what the going on?

[B]

Screaming, playing basketball.

[A]

Marty, what really happened?

[B]

Like, Chuck pretends the shadow box. Marty pretends play basketball.

[C]

I'm hungry, but I want to know what I'm getting.

[B]

Yeah, hold up real quick. What day of the week does your podcast come out?

[A]

Oh, we drop Every Tuesday at 4:00pm 4:00pm Cool. If Jakarta is allows us to.

[B]

Why you upload it?

[C]

It's not my fault, but I have a. I have a job and it's like hard for me. I have to get off my job and then have to go to the podcast.

[A]

Jakarta wants to record at 10pm I work.

[B]

Wait, you.

[C]

You record?

[B]

It goes right out live.

[C]

No, no, no. We recorded the. The edit like 2 days the next day.

[B]

Got you, got you, got you.

[C]

Before I have a. I told him beforehand, like, hey, bro, like, I'm down to do the pod. I just work. You know. And then we make it happen all the time. So you know.

[A]

Tofu. Tofu.

[C]

That's if we get a tofu. Dude.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

Let me just start eating. Yeah. Pig's blood. Holy, bro.

[A]

Every Tuesday at 4pm Him. Please come watch us. It's dope. We've been killing it.

[B]

And you're getting a Spotify soon.

[A]

Yeah, Spotify, please.

[B]

Yes, dude. Might as well. There's a lot of people don't listen to.

[A]

By the way. He does nothing of that. Who? I have to do all the blurting.

[C]

So what happened? Hey, who brings the comedy, baby?

[A]

Are you bringing these smelly ass damn clothes underneath?

[B]

That is just no shirt.

[C]

Pro club sponsor Marty's.

[A]

Like, I'm editing that out right there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm so high.

[B]

Okay, so next show, February 6th.

[A]

Yes, please.

[B]

Brand.

[A]

Prof. That's right.

[B]

Bray Improv.

[A]

This is the first time I've seen you cough. Or on some weed.

[B]

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Brand Profit.

[C]

That's so good. That was such good kush, man.

[A]

Bro, this food so clean. When I leave here, I don't leave mad.

[C]

Can I just ask you this one thing before we leave? What's your. What's your. Your. Your favorite stoner song?

[A]

Get off your dick.

[B]

Stoner song. Get off his dick.

[C]

How's that? How am I on his dick? He's literally a stoner. I asked him about a song. Why don't you get off my dick? Why don't you get off my dick right now? Remove my. From your mouth.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I know. You've heard we song.

[B]

No, that's good. Songs.

[C]

All right.

[A]

What?

[B]

You sound hilarious. I don't know if I have a favorite son or something.

[A]

Get the out of here.

[C]

For me.

[A]

For me. It's still blazing. Still blazing. Still blazing. I told you tofu. And then the girl just so amazing in.

[C]

You don't like that song by Snoop Dog or by Wiz Khalifa.

[A]

I was going to say Buffalo Soldier. That's not. That's. I think. I think it is.

[C]

It's not Bob Marley away. Yeah. It's a weed song. Okay.

[A]

You know what my favorite weed song is? It's definitely because I got high.

[B]

That's always a classic.

[A]

Or. Or a five on it.

[B]

Classic.

[A]

Or the. This is from my. We had. This is from. Great song.

[B]

It is actually. All three of those are good picks. And you have a good bird pick. You have a good, good bird pick. And I will kill both your birds just to.

[C]

No, my bird would definitely murf both of your guys a pterodactyl.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, by far. By far. We're still iffy about if that's a bird, though. We're still iffy about it.

[A]

It's a dinosaur.

[C]

You know what can we classify birds? Feathers. That classifies a bird.

[B]

What if we know they have feathers?

[C]

Pterodactyls don't have.

[B]

You don't know. They only found their bones.

[C]

Lizards.

[B]

They only found their bones.

[A]

Look what you're sucking on this one. I mean, you put your hands up.

[B]

Because he wants to be a hawk.

[A]

You want to be a hawk.

[B]

That's the thing, dude. You're g. All right, so Every Tuesday at 4:00pm yes. February 6th. The brea.

[C]

Oh, February 19th, too.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Me and Jakarta are doing a live show February 19th at Flappers Comedy Club. Oh, please come watch us. February 19th. Get your tickets. The link will be on the cheese Moo page. Me and Jakarta are doing Our friends in our life. So he's very nervous because he's a. And eats tofu.

[B]

Oh, my God. This is gonna be.

[C]

I could get jiggles right now.

[B]

Ridiculous.

[A]

If. If that's the option that you're paying for.

[C]

Tofu. No, no, we're gonna get a sandwich. We'll get a sandwich.

[B]

Tofu sandwich. A bomb meat.

[C]

No, no, next to here. I just seen it. It says somewhere in Glendale, so it was like corn or something.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, we'll be there.

[B]

It's good.

[C]

Oh, is it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Place is good, right? The corner, bro. That's where you get that fat ass sandwich Rosie gets you all the time. Never mind. Yes, it's good. Go for it.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

February 19th. We'll be at Flappers February 6th. I'm. And then, yeah, come come see me on tour and appreciate nobody. I'm just really high.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Every time I come tell you messy, I'm like, focus, focus.

[B]

I like the dance.

[C]

You know, the balloons outside the. The car washes.

[B]

They're like those wacky inflatable arm flailing, tubing. You looking at yo. The way you have your hat, you're like, you're about to sell me some.

[C]

You looking like Nelly.

[A]

You like Maurice?

[B]

You kind of. No, I'm just kidding. You don't at all.

[C]

No, I don't.

[B]

I had to explain to this fool who Nelly was so young.

[A]

Nelly?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, Nelly's was great.

[C]

Oh, yeah. 21. That food probably has.

[A]

He for sure has better eyesight. They're always better. The Jewish are always better.

[B]

You're way taller, better at everything, right?

[C]

I'm Like, I'm six four.

[B]

I said, you're way taller.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, but my people, they're not 6 4. They're like very.

[B]

No, they're very small.

[C]

Trying to trade.

[B]

Give me like 2 inches of height and I'll.

[C]

Hey, I can give you too much. Something else, buddy. I came in. I came in for the high five.

[B]

That'd be so sick. If you could transfer it. Oh, I'd be seven foot.

[C]

If you could transfer skills within people, that'd be sick as the skills.

[B]

Give me some of your.

[A]

What skills would you give us your height?

[C]

Just it. That's all I have.

[A]

I'm glad you know.

[C]

Literally all I have.

[A]

I literally.

[C]

If I was 4ft, I'd hang myself.

[B]

You would still be on the ground.

[C]

If I was 4ft tall, I would hang myself.

[A]

From the toilet.

[B]

What if you do something sick?

[C]

No, no, because I'm funny as. I guess I could. Nah, I'm not that funny, though.

[B]

Everything you say is funny.

[A]

Exactly. I'm gonna say Brad Williams. I was gonna say Brad Williams. Great.

[B]

Everything he says is funny. Because you're like, I could just lift you and throw you this guy.

[A]

But he's great. But he is funny.

[B]

He's hilarious.

[A]

And he cusses.

[C]

That's not because he's small, though. I think he's funny.

[B]

He's a funny kid. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. He was on here. Yeah.

[A]

Not the one time I tried to.

[B]

Go see him and I was like, you dick.

[A]

You literally touring the country.

[C]

Literally my job. Oh, yeah. People can't really tell you you're not funny. That's literally what you get paid to do.

[A]

But also comedy. Selective, fool.

[C]

I would select it.

[A]

It's only been selective.

[C]

I think I'm funny then.

[B]

I think you're looking for subjective, but yes, you is. It can't.

[C]

Selective applies as well.

[B]

It does, but I think you're.

[A]

Yeah, defend me.

[C]

Dumb applies as well.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You. Your gabul.

[A]

The.

[C]

No, no. But what do they say?

[B]

And it just cusses a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know what else.

[A]

What do they say? What's the gate where they say.

[B]

Oh, no, that means black person.

[A]

Oh, that means way more.

[B]

That's like saying the Mexican version.

[C]

I don't watch Sopranos, though.

[B]

I watch some. I love it. I know the dialogue. Cancel, dude. Cancel.

[A]

Dude, like the art word for Italian.

[B]

You're the black of the Asians.

[C]

I don't know any Italians, bro.

[B]

Hey, you do.

[A]

This is for my.

[C]

Oh, I go to Andres. It's an Italian restaurant. Have you Ever been in la?

[B]

This was always trying to cover his track. I been to an Ethiopian restaurant, a Italian restaurant. I've been to the gays.

[A]

No, you been to the gays. I mean, let's.

[B]

I promise. We've all. We've all. We've all have. Yeah, you have 19 cousins that are.

[C]

Gay, Bro, I can't believe your homie legit said, yeah, bro. He was me. I was. That's what your homie said.

[B]

No, no, no. The way he said it.

[A]

He shared the mixtape bound him.

[B]

He's what? Say it again.

[C]

Yeah, you shake. You shared the makeshift bong with him. It's like I have to translate for you because he talks. You shared the makeshift bomb with him. You're gay.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that makes me gay.

[A]

Guys, were you without hating normal. And he was like, ah.

[B]

I always wonder why he. Yeah, he put the joint in his throat. No, I'd be like, hey, man, what are you doing?

[A]

Okay, real quick, before we get the out of here.

[B]

What is that? Of course I've seen blood in, blood out. What's wrong with you?

[C]

You want another Blackasso Badass.

[B]

Also, there's nobody standing there. Okay, It's a tree.

[A]

Okay, watch this, watch this. You want to look at Jakarta ever did.

[B]

Okay, and not how it went. But everything you said is not how it went. It's almost the same as how it went.

[C]

This one, I swear to you.

[B]

No, I said hello first.

[A]

Okay, so you've seen this? You seen. You know who Big Al is?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Okay, you guys don't know go as blood out. The scene is the most gay scene of this.

[B]

Well, actually sucking his finger.

[A]

Okay, so where rp My brother Rams. We're at his kids Bird's first birthday party. Ramsay was raised super Chicano. Everybody's cholo bang that he had a total theme party. Like, people weren't gonna dress like that already, right? Funniest ever.

[B]

Like me at the stoner party.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That was already so good.

[A]

Yeah. So we're in a circle, right? And we're chilling with all the older homies. Jakarta is not the best. When he's around Totos, he gets nervous and just starts doing that.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like. Like Jakarta will bring up other hoods that they beef it with because he just doesn't know any better. And he's just stupid. Accidental notice because he's.

[B]

Why didn't come up a conversation? You guys know the Crips?

[A]

Yeah. Like, he'll do like that, right?

[C]

Exactly what I did last time. It was horrible. I really could have gotten like damage.

[A]

So we're chilling with the food, the homies, dad, I think his uncle and some other food, right? And Jakarta gets in the. And Jakarta doesn't know how to read rooms. Like sometimes food are just chilling like, you know. So they're talking about Jakarta's like, hey, so what's your guys favorite cholo movie? Super cornball, super white vibes. Right?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And they go like, ah.

[C]

They just went.

[B]

I said, hey guys, I would like to know.

[A]

Oh, mine. And before they could even answer, let's say they did have an answer. Chicago. Like mine is blood and blood. You ever know my favorite scene is is. And they're like, what? Jakarta puts his finger around these veteranos goes like this. Don't put that on your. Okay. How to go.

[C]

You thought me I just deep d my.

[A]

How to go weirdo.

[C]

Don't be thinking that. I went like this. I went like what? He's like, it was the dark I'm getting.

[B]

He's not lying about anything today.

[C]

You who they. Hold on, hold on.

[B]

But the way you say it, it's like, dog, I went to the store. Like, that's not what happened. I took a. Then it went to the store.

[A]

Like now. Same thing.

[C]

Did you see what he just did?

[B]

No, no, but you put your finger in your mouth.

[A]

Oh my weird.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You put your thumb in your mouth.

[A]

No angle.

[C]

It was my.

[B]

Angle.

[C]

It was my angle you were at.

[B]

Look, I got a dick in my mouth.

[C]

He thinks I hooked my mouth it in front of you. You did. You did like that.

[A]

You have a little mouth with a big finger. It hug.

[C]

So then. So then my mouth is huge. But pause. But, but, but the way they seen. Okay, the point is one of the foods in the circle was. Was a dude. These dudes just went, oh, what the is wrong with this food that everyone starts dispersing. And then this food's laughing hard as. And they'll be ring. But everyone else looked at me like, you're weird guy bro. I just felt horrible after that.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

But no, no, but I just like, you don't do that with just anybody.

[B]

You know what my favorite scene is? I'm gonna start going up to OG's homies. Like, hey, dog, you know my favorite scene of blood and blood out? When he puts his finger in his mouth, pretend he's sucking his dick like this. That's insane.

[C]

My favorite scene is probably tell me.

[A]

But that's insane.

[B]

Who are you fighting.

[C]

Yourselves.

[B]

You did the mom very well. I told you it's the tooth.

[C]

So actually the person that voices Riley and Boondocks is like Regina King. Yeah.

[B]

I feel so good. Why did you say that?

[C]

I feel so good. I don't like. I don't. I don't have no anxiety right now. I'm not feeling crazy. I feel great. I feel.

[B]

But why did you bring a Regina King?

[A]

I thought we were talking about Jakarta. I'm so.

[B]

No, you brought up a different. That Regina King black.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Regina King smash.

[B]

She plays Riley.

[C]

She's bad.

[B]

She's bad from. You're smashing, right?

[C]

You're smashing. Regina King. I hope that her. That's her name.

[A]

He's married. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. There we go.

[C]

All right. What about Marilyn Monroe? Can we talk about her? I think she's dead.

[B]

She's dead?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's cool. I'll the on her even when she's dead.

[B]

It Right, right. Hollywood from my weed heads is this. This feels high. Let's get the out of here. I'll that dead body. Yeah. I put a thumb in my mouth with some cholos. I gotta be honest. That's the worst thing you could have said.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. He thought he was gonna get a laugh again. He thinks everything lands just. That was funny. That wasn't selective. That was a subjective. That was end of day.

[C]

Who laughed? You had a laugh attack and it was worth it.

[B]

Even though you bombed. You bombed perfectly. Yeah, you Hiroshima. This situation.

[C]

So fuse laughed. I got that laugh. Some Fu's laugh.

[A]

You know what? You know what that is? You know? Well, technically, that is comedy.

[C]

Sometimes some foods, some food. Sometimes it hits with other foods.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Some laugh, some leave.

[C]

Yeah, some laugh, some leave.

[A]

Or some never come back.

[C]

Or some never. Yeah.

[B]

Or.

[C]

Or some throats or some ass.

[B]

Dude, dude. Don't bring the homie over here no more. You know you got like two of those for sure. What's wrong with your homie?

[A]

People like me.

[B]

What's wrong with your Mexican homie as.

[C]

Tall as Mexican people like me?

[B]

I honestly thought you were Mexican.

[C]

Mexican food for sure.

[B]

You like a tall Mexican that runs a barbershop shop.

[A]

This is from my weed.

[B]

Am I wrong? You definitely work in a barbershop.

[C]

Like a Dominican one.

[B]

No, no, no. Mexican one.

[C]

A Mexican where they have the same.

[B]

Pictures and they're all faded on the wall. It's George Clooney.

[C]

I see. What if Just George.

[B]

You know that's true. Yeah, you might sound. There's one that's. It's just George Clooney. My whole life.

[C]

Yeah, I get it. I used to go to this one on Pico and Fedora. It's like in by my crib, kind of. It's. It's. They used to my up all the Time song.

[B]

I used to go to this place.

[C]

Where they ruined my hair when I was a kid. Like, my mom and dad, like, would just go, cut your hair.

[B]

Do you have up haircuts in ind? Where's Indonesia?

[C]

Indonesia?

[B]

I was to say Indo something. Indochina. Is that what it is?

[C]

I've never got a haircut in Indonesia.

[A]

Hey, you ate already, Huh? I want to go eat.

[B]

Yo, we were stopping.

[C]

Stopping.

[B]

Keep talking.

[C]

I'm sorry. All right, guys.

[B]

You missed it. You could. You had ammo forever. He put his whole mouth over that mic.

[C]

You were running back.

[A]

Thank you. Appreciate it, Dom. So high.

[B]

Later, guys. We didn't do an intro. We do a outro.

[C]

Thank you, guys. Oh, hell yeah. Perfect.

[B]

Perfect.