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- [00:00]
A
Oh, you can. Perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. What's up, guys? Welcome back to Dope's usual podcast. My name is Thomas Do Joel, whatever you want to call me. It's my co host, Mario Neal, the one. The healthy one in the room. I. I feel terrible, but we're here and the Rosie called. He's like, I'm sick. I'm like, yeah, I know. So after this, I'm gonna go straight home. But we don't like to miss episodes. So the. This sweat is just the sweat of sickness coming out. It's health, health. I've been on it. I've been on it. So we're here. Oh, wait, never mind. We can't say that. Go watch unrestricted on every Friday. All right. I almost said something horrible. Here we go, guys. What's up? How you doing? Welcome back. It is Monday. We've never filmed, like, the night before. We have very rare. But this comes out tomorrow. So everything you're hearing today just happened. Wow, random. We're getting this close to going live, and then it'll always be this way. Do us a favor. I have. I've been doing social media for, like, 10 years. I know all the tricks, I know all the boosts. I know all the shit. What is happening to our YouTube channel? I don't know. You guys help us. Most people go, like, we didn't even see your channel came out. Or you see an episode came out, or people like, this episode's great. I didn't get a notification. I had to type it in. Tell us what we could do to make you guys remember that it's Tuesday at 12:30 or remember, no notifications are ever going to go out. You're never going to get one. Nothing's ever going to happen. YouTube just doesn't like us like that. So help us. Because I feel like we're throwing out episodes that should be like, damn, that was a good one. And we're getting like four comments. And in the first hour, like, dude, what happened? It's like, you aren't seeing it, which is a. It is what it is. Podcasting is not as relevant as it used to be. I get that YouTube numbers across the board of everyone have gone down a little bit. I've seen that.
- [02:10]
B
Just two months ago, we were like, damn, this is okay, YouTube. It's always like, it's just like this.
- [02:15]
A
But now it's like, oh. Oh. The lows are the lowest I've ever seen. It doesn't even make sense. And then on Spotify, like, oh, normal, like this YouTube, man. It's just YouTube.
- [02:26]
B
There's some weird changes going on on YouTube right now. I'm pretty sure. I've been watching a lot of videos. There's. They're really making some massive changes right now. I think I'm actually kind of excited for it. I think there's going to be a lot of cool new functionalities. I think it's just in kind of a weird space, but I'm hoping that going. It might even be next week. Next week we have after that, start going live. I'm hoping that kind of like, maybe they stop judging our so harshly.
- [02:50]
A
Maybe. I don't know. But whatever it is, thank you guys for being here. We appreciate you. If you're on Spotify, go drop a comment on Spotify. Thank you very much. Okay, so first off, guys, let's get straight into it. This morning I just woke up and first thing I saw was Spider Man's going to the hospital. All right? So, yeah, we get that these are actors and all that, but it is really wild to hear Superman broke his leg. Like, what? Don't frame it like that. Say Tom Holland, the actor of Spider man has a concussion. Because all they say was, spider man has a concussion. That's. That's what you tell your, like, little nephew. No, Tom Holland, the actor. I don't know what happened. There's nothing to say yet. They haven't said anything, but apparently that fool got hospitalized this morning filming the new movie on some Michael Jackson. Are they trying to burn him? I don't know. Why is he falling and flying through the air? That should be stunt coordinator people.
- [03:45]
B
As long as Jake Johnson's okay, I'm good.
- [03:47]
A
Jake Johnson is the voice. He sprained his ankle walking to his studio this morning. Yeah, I don't know what happened. This just came out like an hour ago. Apparently Tom Holland wrecked himself. I hope the scene's cool.
- [04:00]
B
Doesn't he have webbing for that?
- [04:02]
A
He. He does have webbing for that. I don't know what's going on, but everything is choreographed. How did he fall and hurt his head? I. I don't know movies well enough, but I know, like, I've seen it behind the scenes. It's usually on a big green screen or blue screen with pads and strings.
- [04:18]
B
You gotta fire that guy, right?
- [04:20]
A
I think you gotta fire that guy.
- [04:22]
B
Concussion.
- [04:22]
A
Whoever did that or gave the gun to Alec Baldwin or whatever his name was, that there's no room for error. They. They killed Brandon Lee on the set of the crowd Crow. Why was there a Live bullet. This is. Someone is murdering these people on set. I showed Rocco recently. I don't know if you guys have ever seen it. There's a. There's a movie, the Twilight Zone show, right? Then there's a movie, the Twilight Zone movie. And in the movie there's this guy that's super racist. I believe it's the same story. There's like five stories. He's super racist. And like he wakes up and he's a. A Jewish person getting on the trains and he's like, no, I'm American. They're like yelling at him, call him a Jew or whatever. And he's like, oh my God. Then he goes and he's a Viet Cong and American soldiers trying to get him. He's like, I'm American, but it's coming out as Vietnamese because that's his nightmare of like. I think that's the same story. I can't remember if he's the racist one. Anyway, in the movie he picks up a girl and a boy because he's a Viet Cong soldier and he's saving these two kids. It's not showing him like, yo, even though you're Vietcong, you're still saving kids. That's the good thing to do, Stop being a race. If I remember the movie right, anyway, in the movie he picks these two kids up and he's walking through this like swamp water of like 5, 4ft deep. And there's bullets going off and all this stuff. In the movie, in the movie he's taking him across. He saves him. In reality, the director kept pushing it and kept pushing it even though the flight coordinator is like, this is too dangerous. There's actual helicopters above these people. You need to be more cautious. There's fireworks going because in the movie it's like guns and explosive Vietnam. A Vietnam part, but in real life, guys, what happened is the fireworks and the explosions went off, made the helicopter pilot dip to the ground. He crashes. As he hits the swamp, his blades cut off the actor's head and cuts the two kids right in half. The actor from Bad News Bears the bad guy. He's a well known actor. Full got killed on set with two other kids. Have you ever seen that clip? It is. You could see his head go and start to lift off because he's running when the camp, the cameras are everywhere because they're filming a movie and the helicopter crashes into the actors, kills all of them, kills the two kids. The director went to jail because he had went over the hours of the kids supposed to be there. He went well over the hours of the helicopter pilot and did something illegal to be able to film that and went to prison over this. Imagine like who's a famous actor now, like. Like a famous like 50 year old act. Imagine that fool getting murdered in a movie set. That's how big it was back then. The fool got killed during the movie is insane. I don't know how he got there, but. Oh yeah, Tom Holland, he didn't die, but you know what I'm saying.
- [07:15]
B
What if they kept it in the movie?
- [07:16]
A
It's in the movie they kept. They don't show that part. But there's a scene, it's like a shot of him crossing and he barely falls and gets back up. And if he didn't fall, he would have just missed the blade. But he fell. And right when he get up, cut. Like it was like Final Destination. But it's an actor on screen and you could see him die on. It's. It's really weird. You ever seen Bad News Bears with Walter Mathau? The bad dad, I know it's like 1973, but the bad dad in that movie, like the big famous actor, that's the guy that died in this movie. Twilight Zone. Movie is crazy, bro. Not many people die on screen. And he did. And it was really, really wild to watch, man.
- [07:59]
B
If you're a dedicated actor, you die on screen, I think.
- [08:02]
A
What about that movie with John Malkovich that they filmed in 2015? That won't come out till 2115. All the actors are doing the set. They're like, I will never see this movie. This movie will be gone. Will be after 40, 50 years. After. It's really weird. Like they put in a huge movie and it comes out in 100 years. That's like all of our actors now. People won't even know who they are really in 100 years. And they're like, these guys were the top people of acting in 2015. You know what I mean? Like, it's like a time capsule.
- [08:33]
B
I like it.
- [08:33]
A
Pretty cool. Like, what if they just never released the Matrix and it's dropped in 2015? Like. Yeah, you mean earth or. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, all we know now. Yeah, that was simple.
- [08:42]
B
We should do that with the. We get the six footer going.
- [08:44]
A
I gotta be honest, dude, I'll give a about you. In 100 years. I'll be pissed that I'm not here, so you don't get to keep my bone.
- [08:52]
B
You might be like an AI version of yourself.
- [08:54]
A
I'd be so upset. Could you imagine being an AI version of myself? Like, but I can't get out of this, so I'm just stuck in this. I'm the genie.
- [09:03]
B
No, you'd have an opt out button. The built in VA death. Yeah, please.
- [09:09]
A
I don't want to be AI'd or brought back or nothing, dude. If I can read in card coordinate, I'd be like, all right, I like that. But like, can I be born in America? Because we always say very specific, dude. Like, what if you're a real bad person? Like a real bad person, right? And you're reincarnated and you're like, born in the slums of India. Like, damn, dog. That's what you get. You were a bad guy last time. Or like, you're a dog in a shelter, you know? I mean, like, karma's weird.
- [09:38]
B
So many shitty.
- [09:39]
A
So many things, dude. Like, what if you're just like a dog and the owner's a bad dog? Owner, like the dog from Air Bud. What if your owner's the guy? The clown? Come on, man. Nah, be good. Be good now. And you'll come back as reincarnation. I never realized reincarnation's real. Why do I remember all these things? I don't know. Why do I have all these reoccurring dreams? Couldn't tell you. Definitely, definitely not our first time here. I get that.
- [10:13]
B
Emmy was questioning life and death the other day and she was like getting all sad. And then I told her, you signed up to be here. You're just here to learn some lessons for your soul and we'll go back to where it came from.
- [10:23]
A
That sounds shitty.
- [10:24]
B
She was like that. That's not what she said.
- [10:27]
A
Thank you. That sounds terrible. I just you to learn some lessons. You mean if it's a video game?
- [10:32]
B
I basically explained the plot of Avatar.
- [10:34]
A
If that is the world we watched all the matrices, all the Matrix ones, wins that number three last night. Yeah, it's pretty much Avatar.
- [10:44]
B
Yeah.
- [10:45]
A
Fern Gully.
- [10:46]
B
Yeah, she got it.
- [10:47]
A
Avatar 2.
- [10:48]
B
I'm like, you signed up for it. It's all good.
- [10:50]
A
Truman Show.
- [10:50]
B
I'm gonna worry about it.
- [10:53]
A
Scary Truman show. Except the Truman. The. The producers are robots and algorithms. I don't know. I don't know about you guys, but have you ever seen any Matrix glitches in real life?
- [11:08]
B
A couple times in the last minute or games? I'm with the chiefs, maybe.
- [11:12]
A
No, no, like, like something we were. I'm gonna just keep walking because if I question this, I'll never stop questioning It. No, I'm sure one time. We've talked about this before. I saw that plane and it blew my mind. I told you or no. I was driving down Yosemite, passing R Street, Merced, going toward the college, and I looked to my left, and there's a passenger plane, like, a big plane, and it's about to crash into the neighborhood. Like, I saw a plane with the lights and the logos, and I started screaming like, oh, my God, this might hit us. And Rosie started freaking out. And I, like, braced and hit the gas because I was like, if it hits, it's gonna slide like a movie right into us. And I looked, and it wasn't there. And I turned the corner, looked around, and it was gone for 10 minutes. I was outside of my car. I know what I saw was a plane coming straight into the neighborhood, like. Like this. Like, down. But, like, it wasn't moving fast. It was, like, stopped. I don't know how to explain it, but I remember I saw it went. I'm not hallucinating. And I just left it. I didn't know what else to say.
- [12:30]
B
Did Rosie see it or she just.
- [12:31]
A
Started freaking out because you were gonna see it. I. I yelled as if we were getting shot at. Like, I was like, oh, my God, this is. This is it. I saw it. It was a huge. It was massive. As if it was doing this flipping. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it, but some weird.
- [12:47]
B
For a fraction of a second, like.
- [12:49]
A
Two, I looked at with. And I just kept going. And I looked back and it was gone. I was expecting to hear, like, a neighborhood explode. I don't know what that sounds like, but I was waiting for it. Yeah. I don't know. Nothing. You've never seen anything where you're like, is that real? Did I just see that? Was that real? Nothing.
- [13:10]
B
I've seen some goofy shit, but I don't know if it ever questioned reality.
- [13:13]
A
No, I've only had a couple, like, mid waking up.
- [13:25]
B
I thought I saw my dad once where his Buffalo Music hall of Fame induction posted up against the wall.
- [13:31]
A
I did.
- [13:32]
B
Completely glitched. Like, literally some. Now that. Now that we're talking about it, yes, I did have a moment.
- [13:37]
A
It was that time there was arms crossed, looking at you or something.
- [13:40]
B
No, he's, like, posted up on the wall. Like, my eyes, like, really glitched out. And I still remember that frame. I remember the frame that I saw. And then I realized that was weird.
- [13:49]
A
Wearing stuff that you recognize.
- [13:52]
B
I don't really Know, I didn't. I don't remember what he was wearing as much like. I just remember that he was standing there. It's kind of a weird thing. It's the only time I've ever had a glitch.
- [14:05]
A
Hey, man. There's things that happen all the time.
- [14:07]
B
But sometimes, I mean, your brain's like a computer processor. It's like processing whatever little input. So it might get it wrong sometimes.
- [14:14]
A
You could get it wrong. It could, but.
- [14:16]
B
Or it goes to what it's familiar with if it like sees something.
- [14:20]
A
So when you see something shadow, you try to make out what it is. Because your brain's like, what have I seen that looks like that? And it's just trying to find like that matching game. This matches this. I think your brain does that when it's not. When you're not functioning with it, like subconsciously you're doing an induction thing and you see my. Wait, you know what I mean? Like your brain's like misfiring. I don't know. I've. That's happened to me before where I'm like, oh, that's not you. I swear to God. That was you. Oh, man.
- [14:44]
B
It's the same like when you read the wrong word if the. If the letters are rearranged and you still read it correctly.
- [14:51]
A
Weird, dude. Like, I woke up one time and I looked at my blinds. The sun was peeking through each blind, but they're horizontal. I saw a bunch of letters in each piece of sun. Blind, blind, blind, blind, blind. Sun, peak, sun, peak. So you know, here's the blind and the peak of the sun. Here's the blind and the peak.
- [15:14]
B
Yeah.
- [15:14]
A
And I'm looking at it and I did this thing. Like a cartoon.
- [15:18]
B
Yeah.
- [15:19]
A
And I looked and I saw him just disappear. I was like, what the was that like letters? Like the bottom of the news, when that line goes.
- [15:29]
B
Huh, a ticker.
- [15:31]
A
You know, the bottom news says something. Yeah, Bosnia or whatever. I just saw it. But they were moving like this code kinda. It was just a bunch of letters and numbers and symbols. I'm looking at it. I went, what the. But it was coming through the blinds. I could see it. And I was like, is my brain waking up? It's a computer. And I just saw what it's program. Is the matrix real? That's how I thought for a second. Like, that's not cool. I don't like that at all. I don't want to be reminded that I'm here on my own free will. Do you think I don't want to be here. Something better than this. My back hurts, man. Yeah, that shit's.
- [16:08]
B
I've always considered, like, what. You know, we got these seven senses. There could be something right in front of us that we just can't sense.
- [16:13]
A
Yeah. Another dimension. The fourth. I believe that. I believe there's. When you ever feel something watching you, it's because there are. Something is for sure, dude. Nah, this is not. This is not everything for sure. I don't believe that.
- [16:29]
B
Speaking of letters and numbers and we got a new car. The dude that signed us up for this car was fully dyslexic.
- [16:36]
A
Oh, okay. Okay. I was like, where are you going with this? Speaking of. I just bought my girl a new thing.
- [16:44]
B
He was signing us up for this, and I'm thinking, like, is this full high? He kept, like. We were trying to give him, like, our email address, and he kept changing the numbers around and doing all this weird. And I'm like, this dude bake right now. But then, like, April gave him her information that I went to give him my information. By the. By the point of it was time to me give him mine. I just typed it out on the phone and handed it to him. I'm going to do you a solid, bro. You're either up or dyslexic. I'm going to make this easy for you.
- [17:15]
A
Okay, I like that.
- [17:17]
B
But you would think, like, you're not going to have the sales guy be dyslexic.
- [17:21]
A
Yeah, why not?
- [17:22]
B
It's going to make things difficult. He's going to have a lot of.
- [17:24]
A
Questions and, like, paper, paperwork, people for that. Have you ever bought a car? There's, like, five people you got to go talk to. It's the guy and he goes, hey, I did my job. Pass you on to the lady in the back y. And they're going to pass you to that person.
- [17:37]
B
You're there for five hours.
- [17:38]
A
It's the worst. My daughter's like, crying, money, can I leave? Done. Like in 50 Cent. How could he just throw people money bags and leave with no tags? That's when you know you're ghetto. As he's like, I don't care about the tags or paperwork. I'm out. Also count that he paid 50k for a used Mercedes in that 98. He paid 50 bands for a $60000 Kelly Blue Book car. 50 Cent had made bad financial choices in that movie. I shot him, like, nine times. Let me stab you with a sword. Why would he stab him with a sword? Go kill him again. Go shoot him again. You failed. So I'm gonna kill you, dog. You're one of my fucking killers. I keep you around. Why did he do that? Majestic. You're fucking stupid. And then he's just gonna pull a sword out when 50. Everybody's got a gun.
- [18:27]
B
Okay, that was weird.
- [18:29]
A
You know you're gonna get killed. You just told him he killed your mom. Get Richard, Die Trying is a great movie is what I'm saying. But.
- [18:37]
B
But the ending was a little wonky, now that I think about it, right?
- [18:40]
A
It was like walking on a bridge in, like, another country. It's like, whoa, this shit's all over the place, dude. You ever seen the Bridge is Indiana Jones? That's the end of the 56.
- [18:51]
B
I remember him coming out on stage, but everything before that was kind of.
- [18:55]
A
Like, what if he went up there, forgot his. That would have been the badass way to end the movie.
- [18:58]
B
Eight Mile chokes up there. And he's just a.
- [19:00]
A
And, hey, I'm gonna kill my basically dad backstage. Let me go perform, walk away all shirtless and. That movie's crazy. It's like the Lion King for ghetto. Dude, it really is, man. Think about it, man. Scar gets killed at the end.
- [19:21]
B
He just walks off as a G at the end.
- [19:24]
A
Yeah. No, it really, really is.
- [19:26]
B
Yeah.
- [19:29]
A
Mom kiss girl. What was it growing up? I was confused. My mom kissing the girl. Hey, man, I thought she was dating. How'd she make you? Oh, she was dating Majestic when he killed her, but she gay now. I'm confused. Get Richard, Die Trying is a great movie, though. Go watch it. Go watch it. Remembering that this was made a while ago from a guy that's never acted. It's gonna keep that in your mind.
- [19:51]
B
Go get some beats and make it dumb while you'd be rapping your ass off by the end of it. Trust me.
- [19:54]
A
Throw away all your pills. Draw wire, get shot. Get shot. A bunch of stuff happens in that great movie. What? I don't know why, but here we go. We're talking about it. Did 50 cents. Still own vitamin Water? Tell us. We had this old conversation, like, 30 minutes ago. Does he still own Vitamin Water? Let us know.
- [20:15]
B
According to his lyrics, I'm pretty sure Coca Cola came and bought it for billions. And then he was probably.
- [20:22]
A
I don't know. But also, like, say you have a kid with a lady. Boom. You have a kid with a lady, and then you get rich later. You have to. You have to pay her what you're making Now, I don't know how that works. That's Stupid. I don't like that. Then girls just have babies. Anybody hoping one of them gets rich, that's Earth. Oh, God. I can't imagine being such a worthless person that I'm like, I hope one of these babies pays off. Oh, did you imagine waking up to that knowing, like, oh, I gotta go. There's no ambition in this body. Speaking of in my notes is next. Cardi B. Is all over the news. Speaking of getting pregnant, Cardi B. Is just pregnant with some guy with Stefan Diggs's kid. And Stefon Diggs has three other girls pregnant right now, too.
- [21:15]
B
Damn.
- [21:16]
A
He's just called flying through that money, dude. He's flying through 25 bands a month for each of these kids. Every month, every year until they're 18. What a. Right now, if you watch our show and you're gonna go to any kind of sport, go get a vasectomy right now. And then when you're ready, then reverse it, because you can Missy Elliott cut your dick off, flip it, and then reverse it later if you really want to Missy Elliot, who's the size of a linebacker, that movie. In that. In that. In that music video, be Missy Elliott, dude. Don't get no one pregnant. Go, go. Wrap it up. Don't even wrap it up. I've heard. Have you ever heard the NBA players how they accidentally get girls pregnant? Girls will, like, keep the condom and then go get pregnant with it, like, insert it. That's happened to so many NBA players. I've watched so many documentaries of this. Isn't that shocking? A girl will find it. He plays for the NBA. I'm gonna get pregnant by him. Whoa.
- [22:14]
B
I'm gonna go fish out the condom and inseminate myself.
- [22:17]
A
Yeah. With a turkey baster.
- [22:18]
B
Okay.
- [22:21]
A
Yeah.
- [22:21]
B
You gotta. You gotta expect that.
- [22:23]
A
That's a cold child. I don't get it.
- [22:26]
B
Yeah. That's gonna be an evil kid. There's no way that kid's not.
- [22:29]
A
Not even that. Just. What do you do with your life that you're like, this is my goal. I want to never do the girl.
- [22:37]
B
That does that, accepts it, and she's okay with being that person. I think she's all about it. She thrives in it.
- [22:42]
A
Oh, I can't imagine. I couldn't imagine I wouldn't even be able to speak to you if you're my friend. I would never be your friend again.
- [22:49]
B
You bastered this baby.
- [22:50]
A
Not even that. Just like, that's what you had to do to come up. That's sad. Made a whole nother baby you didn't even want, yo. It's crazy. Anyway, Cardi B. The reason I put it in the.
- [23:05]
B
Notes, you should be able to get arrested for that.
- [23:07]
A
You should be getting arrested for having babies you can't take care of.
- [23:10]
B
Bro Went to all the trouble of strapping up on you. Here you go.
- [23:14]
A
Not even that. Like, out here. Like, you don't have a job. You have five kids. You're not allowed to have more kids. Yeah, because you just lived off the government at this point. And why, if the government took away. Oh, my God, did you see that? They're trying to ban sugary snacks and sodas off EBT right now. No good. That's the point you're supposed to get that makes you live, not kills you. Like, all this you can buy with EBT is that you die from. Well, I guess that's the point for the government. Like, if we're gonna give you money, we might as well give you. It's gonna kill you. I get that. And then you're gonna get on the pharmaceuticals that we'll pay for.
- [23:50]
B
It's like you go grocery shopping at the corner store, basically.
- [23:54]
A
We watched some documentary recently, most inner cities don't have. It's called. What's it called? Fresh Food. Yeah, that's the whole desert. That's food. Desert, food, desert.
- [24:05]
B
Controversy about that shooting at Tops in Buffalo was that there's only one grocery store in the whole east side.
- [24:10]
A
That's the only store.
- [24:12]
B
It's basically the only grocery store, I'm pretty sure.
- [24:15]
A
So if you think about it, ready? Where I grew up, we're gonna grocery store, we're gonna go shopping. If you don't have a car, the Mexican. The Mexican spot. The Mexican spot has meat and nothing but processed food other than that. Me, small produce, processed food. I grew up on that. If I'm gonna eat, I'll get chips. I'll get this and go get that. You don't. You start to, like, realize, like, oh, yeah, these aren't even food. These aren't even foods. I watched the Will Tennyson go to the food desert in the middle of the country, and there's no food. I mean, you can get food, but it's too expensive for you to get it if you don't have money. So you go get fast food, because at least you could do that. Because if you're gonna make a hamburger home, it's gonna cost you this, this, this, this, this, this, and make all the stuff. It's really fucked up. It's like a losing situation. And I didn't realize I was in it for so long, like just eating and drinking Styrofoam sodas. Why not keep the Styrofoam cup and go back? It's only 30 cents, dude. It's all sugar. It's all death. It's all. Oh, man. That's what Mexicans. All Mexicans, what was it? I say their biggest adversaries is the border and diabetes. Because that's what's gonna either keep you away or you're gonna die from. All Mexicans die from diabetes for some reason because love soda and sugary ass Chinese food. And that's just a fact. Mexicans love soda. It's as if it's water. And I get it. The other day, we're at Alex Legato, everybody's on the farm, like, doing the horses thing. And everybody's just drinking Coke so cold they look like they have frost. I'm like, yeah, that sounds bomb. You're out here sweating.
- [25:48]
B
Did my house. There was Coke cans everywhere. Smashing them off their head, flying everywhere.
- [25:53]
A
Why not? I told Rocco. He wasn't there. I don't know if you guys ever saw. I don't know if you're addicted. I'm addicted to soda. Like, I will drink it over. I'll give. Take the weed away. I don't care about food. I'll drink soda all day, every day until Rock. I'm like, damn. I don't know. You get it. I used to wake up and chug two sodas. No matter what I was doing. Like, at my grandma's, I would wake up. This is. I told Rock when my fatness started. My grandma was going to call CPS on my mom because I was like 40 something pounds. I was a. I was. I'll show you a picture. I was a stick figure like this. It was pretty bad. Me and my sister were stick figures. It was. We were just not overweight, but we were. You can see my ribs fur. I can see my ribs through my shirt, like. But I just thought I was a skinny kid. And I went to my grandma's after, like, my mom got. She broke up with that guy Robert. Remember when I told you though, that she used to put a. A bike chain and a padlock on the fridge? My mom used to put a bike chain and a padlock so we wouldn't touch anything when they weren't looking.
- [26:55]
B
Toppy. Damn kids.
- [27:01]
A
I just thought like, okay, we're not allowed to touch it now. I'm like, you're a weirdo. These we Were I. Now I look at pictures like, oh, my God, dude, you could. You can grab my wrist and hold it, like, around my wrist. I was a Holocaust victim, and I didn't realize how skinny we were. We were really not doing great. My mom was on drugs. I don't think she realized, like, it's been two days. Unlock the refrigerator. I remember the first time I ate Hamburger Helper and everybody was out in the other room and I went and got another scoop of it. Went, I wish I could eat, like, what I wanted to. When I like, I just remember thinking of it. Then she put corn in that. I remember eating and going, what the. I'm full of now that I think about. That's sad. As. But that time we were skinny as and we. We moved back from LA to my grandma's and I told Rock. I was like, I remember the day when I was like, I can have another one of these things. My Grandma bought a 36 case of Sunny Delights, the little ones. And I chugged them back to back to back to back. Like, a lot of them. Like three. And then because, what do you want to go? McDonald's? And we went and got McDonald's. And then at night, what do you want to go? Pizza Hut? And she went and got Pizza Hut. Remember when Eric Cartman realizes that his. When he throws up the evil. And then his mom's like, we can get two Mega Men. And he goes, two. And then he starts to get. That's me. When I was like, boom, I'm gonna get fat. And for the whole summer, I chugged nothing but Sunny D and soda. Then my addiction started. I would chug a soda. My grandma's chair. My grandma's big. She didn't really move. Her chair was here, and about eight feet behind her were the fridge and soda. And I had a process. I would crack one soda, chug it, and then as I crack the next one, I'd crush this one and throw it down so she wouldn't know I drank one behind her back. And then I'd walk by her drinking one. One. I was like five, chugging two sodas back to back, every hour on the hour, at least. Eating out three times a day, at least. By the fourth grade, I was so fat. But now I get it. You shouldn't be doing that, especially to children. So what I'm saying is, ebt good. Take that soda off. We don't need more of me. Every time I see a little fat Mexican kid, I'm like, God, you're gonna hate It. Dude, dude, just stop, man. I always want to tell him to stop. Dude, please. You're not gonna like it. It's gonna suck real bad. For real. Every time I see one, I'm like. I get disgusted. Like, you're chugging five sodas. You don't need it. And I'm like, that was me. I hate you, cuz. I hate that. Just. It's the worst. Your brain doesn't think, this is gonna make me fat. Soda, it's water. It's with juice in it. But if you drink a 32 pack, like, I was flying through. So it was bad, dude. My grandpa had a soda machine. You could press the button and it would come out. He got. Because it was a niner one, he kept beers in it. And I would open it and fill it with sodas. I didn't even want one. I just wanted to press it to see. And then I would chug it so I could press it again. It was in the room I stayed in. You know how bad it got? Yeah, dude. My grandma and grandpa would go to Costco and get, like, those fat cases. You know what I'm talking about? You ever see a person with a cart of soda? That was us.
- [30:20]
B
Damn.
- [30:20]
A
You ever see those people? How do you live? How are you gonna live through this? I always see that and just feel bad automatically, like, dan, you're gonna die. But you know that. I was 6. I didn't realize that you could die. I didn't know what diabetes meant. I told Rocco. I only ever told my grandma. I didn't know she had diabetes. I was a fucking kid. My grandma was hella big. She didn't tell anybody she had diabetes. We found out when she was dead. My grandpa's only one that knew she had diabetes. What the fuck? I didn't know this. Now that I'm older, I get it. My grandma had a hole in her leg this big. Like a size of a football. And it was like that deep hole, open wound. And I would clean it every fucking night, dude. And I would just try to throw up every time. I would just try not to let her see my face. I'm like, got a puke. And I didn't want her to feel bad. So I'm just like, yeah, fine, I cleaned it. But she had this big hole in her leg. Do like, open cut wood decay. I just thought she had, like, a bad diabetes. Yeah, but I didn't know that. I didn't know what it was. I was like, yeah, my grandma's a bad leg. I was 8 or 9. I was like, yeah, I'm cleaning it and I regauss it and then tape it and regards it. I was doing that shit and I'd have to clean it with this cleaner. Every time I took it off, I'm like, I could see into your leg. Like, why can't I? I never understood why. Then when she died, my. I'd be. That's why she had a whole. Because I was a kid, I didn't know. But dude, like it was like this and like that deep at least. And you could see into her leg.
- [31:57]
B
She's live like that for years, dude.
- [32:01]
A
There was like a couple years I was doing that.
- [32:06]
B
It eats away at your flesh.
- [32:08]
A
Yeah. You ever see people lose a leg or lose those? This. She was on the way to losing a leg. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know what any of this meant, but it was crazy. My grandma's cool, but I always remember, like, damn, dude, what's up with your leg? I remember starting off as a little cut and they got bigger and they got bigger and they got bigger and they never healed. I remember it happening. I lived with her. I was like, why does she have a cut on her leg? What the she even do anything? It was just opening and opening and. Oh my God. It was weird. Yeah. So I didn't know that. Stop. EBT soda stuff is what I'm trying to say. Crazy, dude.
- [32:40]
B
I never put two and two together. That's really what happens.
- [32:43]
A
Oh, dude, it just falls off. Oh, God. Thinking about it now, it's like watching a horror movie. Like it's an open wound, not a slice. The foot, the arm, like the. The muscles gone. I don't know how to describe that.
- [33:01]
B
Like I got bit by an animal or something. Or shot or something.
- [33:08]
A
What you imagine all those things? That's what it looked like. Like whatever you imagine it being, she.
- [33:13]
B
Was like, not in like morbid pain. How?
- [33:17]
A
I don't know. I don't get it. Don't know, don't understand. I just remember I cleaned that. Whoa. I actually forgot about that for a long time. Like, oh my God. I forgot. I used to do that every night. Oh. Oh, God. Dude. So nasty. I'm already bad with blood and it wasn't bleeding ever. It looked like the red guy from Power Rangers. Remember the Zordon? Or remember the. The guy with Rita Repulsa. Remember the Power Rangers?
- [33:52]
B
Yeah.
- [33:52]
A
Remember the evil people? Rita would post the Asian lady and then she had the Goldar. The guy kind of look like a monkey. All the gold on. And then the red guy. The red guy, he just had, like, muscle, and he had the. The head. That's where her leg. Like, like, just red muscle. Like, there's no skin. There's no. Like, oh.
- [34:13]
B
How did that end?
- [34:14]
A
She died. That's it. There was no ending to that. That shit's crazy to think about. Lose their legs and eyesight. I know somebody that has diabetes and will not stop drinking soda. And, like, I can't see today. Like, what the did you say it'll come back? Stop drinking soda, you idiot. It pisses me off.
- [34:37]
B
Like, are they insane with it?
- [34:39]
A
They know they have diabetes and will not stop doing the things.
- [34:42]
B
But I'm saying, like, the amount that they drink.
- [34:44]
A
Yeah, they drink a lot of soda. It's not that. It's like, oh, I can't see today.
- [34:47]
B
That's crazy.
- [34:50]
A
So. So clouded. I can't see. It's just my diabetes. Like, but you're chugging a soda. Stop. Just stop drinking it or you're gonna die. Fool's not old. Like, 35. It's the most annoying thing I've ever seen. I think I got, like. You actively can't see. Okay. All right. Keep drinking that soda full. It's not that good. It's truly not that good. It is good, but it's not pretty damn refreshing.
- [35:15]
B
But not.
- [35:16]
A
It's not good enough to not be able to see. Ready? Can I get a Sprite? You can't see today? No, no. Never mind then. That. What? It should not even be a choice.
- [35:25]
B
Go get a nice Perrier or whatever.
- [35:27]
A
Something else. Dude. Just mix fruits together and drink carbonated water if you need it that bad. Or just die.
- [35:37]
B
Or just jump off a cliff.
- [35:39]
A
I'm saying. Or just slowly die from drinking. How'd you die? I saved a kid from a burning building. How'd you die? I really love crush. I love crushing grape soda so much that I died for like, you're a lame dude. You have kids. What the is wrong with this fool? Okay, sorry. This is the updated version of the proxy. This is from Puffco. This right here. Easy as this, guys. Open it up. Pack your hatch just like you do with Puffco peak. Let's take dabs and see if it works. It actually has a light that goes all the way around. The first one did not have that switch through the temps. Thing I really like about this is. This is everything. This is all of it. And that is the proxy. This is the proxy. You know what you could do with that look, this reminds me of many garage moments with my uncle. And the bowl is actually taller. So for a bigger dad, you're not getting as much space flashback and gooeyness everywhere.
- [36:32]
B
You got the vapor control. You got the mood lighting. You got the statistics. You got your custom heat profiles. Guys, this technology has changed my life. I am down. I'm taking 80% less bong rips throughout the week. The one thing you're going to want to do this is a pro tip coming from me. You go into the app, you put it on intense, you set your colors how you want it. I've been going at 540 on, like, 70 seconds. I had it at, like. I had it at damn near 90. And I'm like, this is too much.
- [36:58]
A
I see the hot knife, sir. That's pretty fat. Here we go.
- [37:03]
B
A Han Solo Burger.
- [37:04]
A
Han Solo Burger, ready to rip.
- [37:08]
B
Now you can fire it off just by clicking on the actual proxy or by the app. We're gonna do the app because.
- [37:15]
A
I like the ring. It actually shows you where it's ready to go. You have 19 seconds. Continue, Marty. I'm gonna tell you these names and explain who they are, because you don't know what's going on on Earth, and I think it'd be nice. And our fans like streamers, and so let's talk about it, and I'll give you what I know, and then you guys in the comments tell us if I missed anything like that. You ready?
- [37:39]
B
I'm ready.
- [37:41]
A
In the world of streaming. Okay, really quick. Me and my homies are sitting there the other day, and I'm like, how much do you think they're making? Watch Marty's face when I tell you how much money these kids are making.
- [37:52]
B
I'm aware.
- [37:52]
A
I don't think you're fully aware.
- [37:54]
B
Once you get over a couple million, it's all the same to me.
- [37:57]
A
No, that's the. That's. That's what A person that's never seen that much money says over a couple million. Different. No. Once you hit 10, you're like, oh, I'm in a different bracket. Once you hit 40, you're like, oh, this is different.
- [38:09]
B
Weird.
- [38:10]
A
Yeah, a mill. Like, yeah, you're balling generational money. 40. Like, get away from me, dude. Go down that boat. I don't even want you next to me. Someone's gonna snipe your ass out like, you're worth too much money. Like, what oil things did you do? You ready? Kai Senat, my best friend, my homeboy. There you go. I was talking to Franklin. We're going over everything. You know, he's at my house, we're chilling. How much do you think the guy's making per month? This is what I did not know. He's a streamer, Marty.
- [38:46]
B
We're talking about like, oh, money.
- [38:49]
A
YouTube Money from his clips stream money, sponsorship, money traveling. What do you think is a rough estimate? Like, to pay someone 500k for a promo is. You better be Ronaldo.
- [39:02]
B
Nah, I shot the T mobile ad with him. I'm sure just even off that he got a lot.
- [39:07]
A
I'm saying 100 bands to sit in for the day.
- [39:12]
B
Those fools get.
- [39:12]
A
I. I get it, I get it. But I'm saying, like, think about that. That's not happening every day.
- [39:17]
B
No.
- [39:18]
A
So think about, like, how much money could you make in a month on the perfect month? All your twitch things, all your YouTube clips did. 10 million views. You made this much money off YouTube, maybe your sponsorship gave you a mill.
- [39:30]
B
See, the thing is, like, to him, YouTube can't be that substantial.
- [39:33]
A
It has to be. You're getting 100 million views a month. You're making like.
- [39:36]
B
He's got to be so rich, though, that, that YouTube, Marty, right?
- [39:40]
A
YouTube. Say you make 10 million a year. Are you gonna bat your eye at a million? No, you're like, oh, let's go. You're gonna be juice. Like 70k. Like, could you imagine a 500? No matter what, you're gonna have a good day. I know people are all. You're like, what's his face? I won't say his name, but Marty's work with this comedian before he got canceled, and he told Marty $50,000 for the weekend. Marty, I piss 50K. Don't bug me with these numbers. He said, 50K, don't bother me with that peasant to two months later going.
- [40:16]
B
And he was not.
- [40:16]
A
I need $5,000, literally. What the. Stop being dicks. Be humble and don't take things for granted, is what I gotta say. If you make $50,000, it's life changing. I don't care if you make a million a year. 50,000 is still stupid.
- [40:31]
B
You can be on top of the world and have that snatched so fast. Those tables can turn so violently within two weeks.
- [40:38]
A
You told me that. He goes, he told me, don't bother me with this. Don't bother me with this. 25,000 for 40 minutes of your time.
- [40:47]
B
He was paying me nothing. Fast forward a month later, he couldn't afford to pay me the nothing. He was paying me anywhere. That's how it goes.
- [40:55]
A
How much do you think this kid's making a month? Just a month. Just a month.
- [41:04]
B
I don't know what those Twitch numbers.
- [41:05]
A
Look like or what a sponsorships and nobody does. So give me an estimate. What you think they could be making them on a month? Like a crazy number. Like. Wow. Wow, that's. You're doing really good. All numbers are pumping.
- [41:21]
B
For Kaisana.
- [41:24]
A
I just a math. Some light math.
- [41:29]
B
See, I mean I want to say. Like I want to say somewhere between 500 and a mil.
- [41:34]
A
Okay. Times 10. That Marty. On the lowest month.
- [41:38]
B
Like we're talking about.
- [41:39]
A
We're talking about over 10amonth.
- [41:41]
B
Okay. All right. So over that 100 mil a year. See, I'm telling you these. I don't know. It shows all the same to me. 5. What do we say?
- [42:00]
A
Office Twitch. How much does he got on his Twitch? How many people just for the subscription? 3.5 people to watch is 3.6 million a month just from being on Twitch and people subscribe. He's getting over 3.5.
- [42:13]
B
That's what I needed to know where he was.
- [42:15]
A
And then people are donating and then you.
- [42:19]
B
This is all Twitch.
- [42:19]
A
Say you're getting 50 mil off 50 million views off of YouTube from just your clips. It's all monetized on across four channels. The guy has. Yeah, he's probably making another mil or two. So let's say we're about five and a half right there. And then sponsorships. They. You know, who wants a sponsor? There's probably coughing up another mil and a half. He's about six and a half Miller of just that. And then maybe like some merch, some gear, a collab. Let's throw another mill on that. He's about seven and a half. Eight. When we're just being very like light on it. From sitting in your home and jumping up and down and screaming, bro, I. Are you kidding me? Anyway, I don't know.
- [43:06]
B
I've never thought about that.
- [43:07]
A
It's blowing my mind. I did not know how much these fools were making. It's. Anyway, what I'd like to say is congratulations, guys. Good for you. I'm so happy that young people can make something like there's a doctor out there so violently mad that he's not making anywhere near that and went to school for how long? Run it up. I can't. More power. I hope you make a hundred more. Good for you.
- [43:32]
B
Seemed like a nice kid when I met him. Was working.
- [43:35]
A
There it is. So Kai Senate. How do you say It Sinat. Not Nat. Sinat.
- [43:41]
B
Like Sinatra.
- [43:42]
A
Kaisenat. Fool's crushing. I've never really watched the streams. I've seen some of it. I can see why people watch it. I just don't watch streams. I don't like watching streamers because I'm doing that at home.
- [43:52]
B
How long does he.
- [43:52]
A
I don't want to watch.
- [43:55]
B
He's doing it constantly.
- [43:56]
A
Yeah, 24, seven.
- [43:58]
B
But I'm saying like on a regular.
- [43:59]
A
Day, probably like five to ten hours.
- [44:01]
B
Damn.
- [44:01]
A
I would assume, right? Yeah, but there's days where it doesn't. How do their backs not hurt though? Do they work out during the shows and because like sitting that long, dude. But that's what I'm saying. Like there's usually. I always see him in the chair. Like they're always streaming. It's getting real sad that these celebrities are sitting next to these streamers. Like they're like, they're like, this is so beneath me. But I'm here now. It's just like two of these f. Got no shirts on. Got no shirts on. Just sitting at home.
- [44:34]
B
He's like just chilling in his face, man.
- [44:35]
A
Crush him. Run it up, dude. That's so sick. Yeah, it's really weird seeing these.
- [44:42]
B
Yeah.
- [44:42]
A
Grammy winning people going like, they got that.
- [44:45]
B
Put on their.
- [44:46]
A
On their. Yeah. Oh, that would suck. This kid's 19, screaming and he lit a firework off. I'm a Grammy award winning. You know what I mean? Like, oh, no. Like every time I see Nicki, I mean, Nicki Minaj is different. She sucks. But every time I see Nicki Minaj there, I'm like, oh, God. Because it's like she's just feeding off of these young kids, turning her ass around. All the people that watch them are 12 and these girls are out there showing their asses and it's really weird knowing like, I know who's watching this. Let me shake my ass in the stream again.
- [45:23]
B
I'm realizing I never really watched one of these shows.
- [45:24]
A
It's like, really, you don't need to just watch the clips if you want to see anything. It's just the clips. But like really weird seeing. What is the name? I just forgot Nicki Minaj. Does she still make music? She does. She fell off real hard, huh?
- [45:39]
B
She's. I mean, I mean, Cardi B came.
- [45:41]
A
Was like, I have a personality. You're done. I think it's what happened because Cardi B and Nicki Minaj were like this. Then Cardi B went, they're making non start talking because she's like, I can't compete with personality. Yo, Cardi B's annoying as, but at least she has a fun personality for. For sure. But yeah, she's definitely. That's what we started off. Cardi B's in the news for being pregnant. Who? Who? It was the top thing on the news this morning. Cardi B being proud. Who the cares? Can we ask?
- [46:18]
B
I mean, no, let's ask, though. There's no horrible care. It doesn't even. It doesn't even sink into my brain.
- [46:24]
A
Okay. It doesn't sink in. Okay. There are people that care, though. Like, don't go to their friend. Did you see Cardi B? Like, oh, could you imagine the first thing you talk about? Did you see Cardi B's prank? Like, your mom and works two jobs and you're over here talking about Cardi, go get a job. I don't know. I just see these things. It makes me feel like idiocracy. The movie is so close. We're so. We're so close, and it makes me scared. Watch Love island and you'll see how close you are to the end of the world.
- [46:54]
B
Yeah, yeah. No, I've. I've sat down a couple times.
- [46:57]
A
The fact that it captured the world shows you how many people don't got going on. You can't care about Love island if you have goals.
- [47:08]
B
I'm like, what's it feel like for all these on TV to want what you got, Huh? I almost feel good.
- [47:13]
A
Yep. After, like, I'm a realtor. Like, you're watching them, but they want to be where you're at. But you're like, God, I wish I was on love. No, you don't. You're hanging out with a bunch of dudes that say facts every two minutes. You know they're like 6:3. Yeah, they're 6:3. But like, duh. If I was a girl, I don't know what I would do. I just go live in a mountain.
- [47:36]
B
Because fools are dudes are the worst.
- [47:39]
A
Worst. Or go to another country where they're not tainted. Like, let me go to Italy or something. Find some husband or some. Because these guys in America, man, they're over here taking dabs and podcasts and there's only so much you can do. Dude, you can't even dunk. All right, let's do this. Rico, can you please give me a tissue? I should just keep them by me like a regular host would. Sorry, guys. Also, out of all the late night talk shows you've ever seen, I've never seen any even blow their nose. Thank you. Not once have I seen anybody blow their nose.
- [48:15]
B
I don't think they allow that. I don't want.
- [48:17]
A
I know, but do they all have perfect. Oh, they do coke. When I did coke, my was true. My nose has never been clear. Coke. People like the drip. The drip? You mean the. The free gift decongestant. No, it's just you get the drip, it gets stuck, and it drips down your throat and you taste it every couple minutes, which is. It's like saying, oh, man, I taste that soda 10 minutes later, like, it's. That was free. You know? Like, why are you complaining about it? I never understood. I hate the trip. The best part, get numb every couple minutes, you forgot about it. It's incredible. People are lame, nonsense, dumb. Yeah. Anyway, card B, all that stuff. Nicki Minaj streamers, Kai Snot, ready, go. So Kai Sanat is like Kevin Hart in terms of these streamers. Like, you don't really get bigger in comedy. Like, Kevin Hart sold out how many arenas, how many things, how many this. You can't really beat that. Yeah, but then you got this next kid. I show speed. You know who that is? I saw this kid about four or five years, maybe like four years ago, and I could not stand him. I thought he was the dumbest fool ever. Like, he was lighting fireworks off in his own bedroom. And I was like, this, this, that. Who. I must kick my son out of the house. You're screaming and jumping on the bed and lighting fireworks in the house. I'm gonna beat the out of you just for views. I. I just couldn't stand the guy. Now he's old, like, slightly older. Awesome. I watched a couple clips. I'm like, I'll watch this dream kid. This is fun. This guy's into sports. He does this, he's with fans. I like that. It's cool to walk. Watch a life of a superstar kid. Like, all right, now I get why people watch streaming. So the ishow speak. I get why people watch streaming. I understand that aspect. Like, that guy's doing things he's actively doing that he could jump over a fucking car. He's at these games, he's in other countries. He's doing she's meeting fans. He's got literally Ryan, D.J. afterthoughton, Blazey, Susan were his liaisons in Pittsburgh the other day and Denver. Thousands of people chasing this guy like he's Michael Jackson. But I get it. Everybody wants to get their stream and get on a stream, blah, blah. Like they got. You'll never see 40 year old men chasing him because they have to go to work. Everybody that's like chasing him just ditched school. And I get it. Awesome. He's like 19 years old. He's young as, but I get why people watch him. And for me, he's more like the Kobe. Like I'm trying to put tags on these like. Oh, you mean like Kobe, like he's the man. People still say he's not better than Jordan, but he's the man. Because Kai snaps not has more viewers. So like he's not Jordan, but something like that. Yeah. Like I feel like, well, if we're gonna watch anybody and be an example, I would probably watch this kid because he's not doing anything dumb and he's like racing Ronaldo. I don't see any other streamers racing. That blew my mind. I can't. I, I can't lie. I didn't realize how famous that soccer player was until like four months ago. I did not know. Soccer's big.
- [51:39]
B
Yeah. I think he's like the biggest athlete on earth probably.
- [51:41]
A
Yeah. No, he is. I did not know that. That's how, how conceited Americans are for sure. No. Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning. A horse of a human is Peyton Manning. He's the man. I love Peyton Manning. Christian Ronaldo is very, very, very, very athletic. I didn't know. I've never watched a game. This fool jumped like five feet into the sky and scissor kicked. Now I get it.
- [52:07]
B
Yeah.
- [52:07]
A
Have you ever seen that guy's leg? It's like a horse leg. There's just lines going down it. It's gross. I get it now. I didn't know, dude. I didn't know. Anyway, the ISO speed guy, he's like a Kobe. Ready? Aiden Ross. It's more like the Dana White to. Aiden Ross is more like the Dana White guy. Like I' ma sit back and let all these things happen. I'm not going to personally do anything. Like I don't personally have the talent like these fighters, but I'm gonna sit back and coordinate this thing and actually, you know, I'm gonna start my own fight league. Like he did the boxing and he is Dana Hawaii. What am I saying? Perfect comparison. Aiden Ross guy, he seems like he's a chill dude, but I don't see the, the incentive to watch that style of, of like with a Kai not guy. Like he's doing stuff. He's bringing people. A Ross guy is too, but like there's no movement. Like nobody's moving. I feel like everybody's like, yeah, I'm real cool. Hey, I'm real. And he let that Keemstar guy on hella times. I don't know how you associate with that guy. You know, like, the Keemstar guy sucks. I'm sorry, guy. I know you follow me. You suck, dude. I don't like you at all. I. I never say that, but I don't like him. I know he follows me. Dm me. I'm sorry. Your whole life is just poking the bear at other people and punching a girl in the face. You still get your ass beat from New York. We talked about that one time. You. Yes, it's the same guy. That guy.
- [53:41]
B
It was a light scratch.
- [53:42]
A
It was a light scratch. I don't care, man. You can't be hitting a girl like that. And he almost got killed. You should have him on. Be like, marty's just behind a bush over there. You remember me now from behind the.
- [53:57]
B
Curtain and.
- [54:02]
A
Telling you, dude, one day I'm doing this comment. One day we're gonna have a DAP episode. I'm like, chris Delia, dog, I forgive you, man. You should come over and do an episode with us. And right when he sits down, I'm gonna have DAP in here. And I'm like, I'm gonna leave the room. Cameras rolling. I'm not associated. How fun would that be? Set up our guests. Excuse me, everybody. I lock the door from the outside. Oh, incredible. Yeah. Aiden Ross. I don't get it, but Aiden Ross is the white kid with, like. It kind of looks like John's brother James a little bit.
- [54:40]
B
Oh, yeah, James is cool.
- [54:41]
A
Yeah, James is cool. But Aiden Ross, he seems cool too, but he's more like the Dana White. He's more watching. Like, you might see a rapper, he might talk about some. He might be at ufc. He might be with an athlete. So I get why people watch him, but he's like the Dana White of this group. Ready? There's another kid I've talked about, like three years ago named Neon. Can't stand the guy. Back then he was so rude. Remember that? I told him that there's some streamer kid that's super mean. He brought this trans fat Mexican chick on and just was just belittling this.
- [55:11]
B
Oh, yeah, I remember that little kid.
- [55:14]
A
Remember that? Like four years ago, I'm like, this kid sucks, man. Since then, he's doing other. Now that I see him as a streamer, he's doing a lot more stuff. I get it. But wow, man, first impressions are everything. And God, all he did was just sit there and belittle this. This girl. Guy. I don't know what she wants to be called, but just belittled her and talked to her, call her fat for 45 minutes and just brought her on multiple times. It's like, dude, what is happening? Just sitting here to roast this girl. And she's like, well, I'm getting followers out of it. Like, that's even Saturn. Like, that's. That's like heartbreak because you imagine your kid like, well, I'm getting followers. Like, oh, dude, you need a hobby. This is not fun. That's like paying for people to be your friend. Sad.
- [55:58]
B
Dude, what the. What's the point of having followers at that expense? Or whatever? Like, what the are you doing this for?
- [56:04]
A
I think we got too high the followers of the social media thing, and it, like, bottomed out. I think it doesn't matter.
- [56:11]
B
Why did it matter at the beginning? It mattered because it showed that you.
- [56:14]
A
Could, like, build a following. But now that you could buy them, now that people have them for being only fans, girls, like, numbers don't matter anymore. I have 5 million followers. You get naked on stream? Yeah. You have followers. How many followers does Pamela Anderson have? A billion. She did sex tapes like you do. If you're showing your body and you're pretty and you have a following, I don't count your followers. Those. Those are irrelevant to me. They don't. They walk. It's a wash.
- [56:45]
B
Speak.
- [56:47]
A
If I can hear you speak or you have an art or a creative outlet besides you just existing. I don't like you. I'm not like you. I don't respect what you do. You know what I mean? Like, oh, cool. I know a lot of porn stars. Cool. Do your thing. I shouldn't say respect thing. I know porn star. They're cool. Do your thing. But don't tell me like, yo, I do this and I do that and I have this many fault. Like, nobody cares. How about this? Don't get naked. How many followers you got? Seven Ex. That's what. That's what I'm saying. I mean, like, every comedian you ever met doesn't take their shirt off. Well, Bert Cr. That's different. That's a bad example.
- [57:22]
B
That dude that opened up or you opened up for got naked at the.
- [57:25]
A
At the end. But what I'm saying is, like, they're not famous for doing that. Like, there's a lot of pretty actresses that are famous. They got famous for a movie. They might have Got naked. But. But it's not like, oh, what they do is I get naked. Give me money. That's a call to stripper. But you just do it online. You're still a stripper, which is cool. Strippers are awesome. I know a lot of them.
- [57:45]
B
You're talking about being in the same space as like content creators.
- [57:48]
A
As a content creator. Thank you. Or like I see a lot of chicks out there that make hilarious content that are comedians or maybe they're like political activists. I mean, dude, that means you're using like what you had to gain.
- [58:03]
B
Not what's your advantage.
- [58:05]
A
Born with. I just think it's not. It's not. If you're super pretty, you're naked and you have a personality, your name's Cardi B. And that's when you take over the world. You know what I'm saying? Like that's, that's, that's different. But if you're not, you're just an only fans basketball wise girl. Which is fine. But don't sit here and try to make me take you serious. And that's all. Don't get mad at me if I go because all you do is get naked. Like don't get naked. And see what we have to say to you? Nothing. Guys too. Guys too. There's guys out there that all they do is like show their lower abs and. And get followers. Dog. I can't take you serious. Good for you. Be a fitness influencer. Now I take you serious. Porn stars out there that do influencing fitness things. Yeah. You have a talent. You can help people get in shape. But just being naked and pretty is just not enough. That's all. That's all I'm trying to say. So that's what I mean. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how I got that from Neon. But you know, the guy's not that bad now. He just. It's just default. He's popular by default, I think because there's nobody else to watch. That has a fallen. That's built it up over the couple years. I think that's what it is because like, I don't find him entertaining. Kind of like just does like stunts. Like when he told Nick. Nick Diaz or Nate Diaz. Remember what happens when you get knocked out?
- [59:23]
B
Yeah, I forgot about it all felt very goofy.
- [59:25]
A
Staged and goofy. It's almost like these celebrities are succumbing to this nonsense.
- [59:32]
B
Yeah.
- [59:32]
A
Because they kind of need to.
- [59:34]
B
It's a very weird thing. It's true.
- [59:36]
A
It's weird. Dude. Did you see when Jimmy Kimmel got fired? He was getting 128,000 viewers a night.
- [59:43]
B
I saw something about that.
- [59:45]
A
That's it.
- [59:47]
B
I would have to really look more into that.
- [59:50]
A
There's no 128, 000 viewers per episode live. So he's getting 68 and he's getting paid $96,000 an episode or something. Or $87,000. That equals a $0.68 per view, which he should not be getting paid that high. He should be pulling in 2 million people. The fact that they're not pulling in a million people a night is crazy. Crazy.
- [60:13]
B
Yeah.
- [60:14]
A
There's 300 million people in the United States. The iShow Speed Kid has more live viewers when he's doing a sleepathon than Jimmy Kimmel has of the late night show. But there are like six late night shows now, so I get that. But he's supposed to be the best one, right? I don't think he's funny. I never found Jimmy Kimmel funny. I didn't know he was a comedian. Do you know he's comedian?
- [60:37]
B
No.
- [60:38]
A
Jimmy Kimmel's a stand up.
- [60:39]
B
Really? No, I didn't know that.
- [60:41]
A
I didn't even know that. I.
- [60:43]
B
Or do people just call him that?
- [60:45]
A
No, he do standup comedy. I've never seen him say nothing funny. I'm not trying to knock him, but wow. He. That's a standup comedian. Jay Leno's a standup.
- [60:56]
B
He got cancelled.
- [60:57]
A
I get this week, right? Jay Leno is a standup. Dave Leonard is a standup. I get that. Johnny Carson, I don't know if he was a standup, but he was the first person to do it, so it's a lot different. Yeah, but Jimmy Kimmel, I didn't even know he was a stand up comedian. Dude, that's not good. If you're in comedy, people ask you, what do you do? Oh, dude, that's not good.
- [61:14]
B
What do you mean?
- [61:15]
A
That means you haven't made me laugh. Oh, if I had asked, what do you do? I'm a comedian. Like, oh, as you walk into, what do you do? You're a football player. Oh, I could tell. Like, yeah, you're huge. Like you should be able to tell the guy's a comedian, right?
- [61:27]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [61:29]
A
He wasn't getting, he wasn't getting no views. So these, what I'm saying is these kids are bringing in more views than the biggest shows on earth. And that's why these celebrities are sitting there going ha in the camera. And see Marlon Williams on one of these streams recently to promote him.
- [61:45]
B
Uhhuh.
- [61:46]
A
Oh man. Once you do rec room for a dream with that kind of acting, you should not have to go into a stream to promote your. That's not cool, dude.
- [61:56]
B
He seems cool. As though. Yeah, I would love to have him on this damn show.
- [62:00]
A
Hey man, I'm that kid that went at the airport the other day. That was me. And I was kidding. But I did see that's at the airport. I saw him, went smokey in my head. But it was like 6:30 in the morning and I didn't want to bug him. But then he walked by me again. I went, I should have said something. But you know what? It's sick here. You're busy, bro. I'll leave you alone. And then I thought, I want to go. I can't wait to see him. It was a week before it came out. I wouldn't watch it that opening night cuz I've been. Been waiting. Go watch it, man. I know. There's a lot. I feel like somebody paid for like a smear campaign. I see nothing but negative reviews about it. Like tick tockers. Like, I just went and watched him. I scroll. I just went and watched him. I just went 0 out of 10. Like, shut up, bro. 0. If you're scoring this movie 0 out of 10, you don't know film because automatically it's a 6. Just off the cinematography. And if you don't know that, then you're a idiot. This shit's shot so incredible.
- [62:55]
B
I'm gonna see it tonight.
- [62:56]
A
It's incred. It's shot. It's shot like the interior. Home magazine. Warm color. Tempe, Arizona. What? How can. It was so bomb. Like the. The look was shockingly nice. It was so dark that you could be in this room and not see the walls. Like everything was like. Almost like a stage light, like moving with the character. It was. And it gave you like a. Who's gonna come out the shadow. The whole. The whole movie. The whole movie was suspense because, like, someone's gonna get killed. You could feel it. And Marlon Williams is funny, but when funny guys play slightly mean people, it's the scariest on earth because it's like smile to mean in a second. I'm not gonna say the movie was great, but it was the first time I've ever seen that concept ever in my life. Ever. Never seen anything like that ever. So I will give him that. Go watch that. Anyway, I saw Marlon Williams and I was thinking this. 53 years old. He was my Age. Wow. I saw him in the airport. It's not like I saw him on tv. I was like, oh, you look young. Damn. Like, record for a dream still, dude. Jesus Christ. I need that money. Hyper bear is sleep in a hyperbaric chamber. And I would.
- [64:09]
B
Why not?
- [64:09]
A
I get why Joe Rogan's all doing all that crazy. Because why not? If I'm under 5 7, I want to be in the top shape, too. Like, he's not a big dude.
- [64:19]
B
And like, once. You gotta figure once you're that rich, like, you know how easy it is. Rocco knows to get addicted to buying, like, gear. You get addicted to buying little camera gear and seconds and used to get rich as now you. But you're just addicted to fitness. So you start off with the home gym. Oh, I gotta get the kettlebell rack.
- [64:36]
A
I get it.
- [64:37]
B
Gotta get the. Gotta. Next thing you know, you see the.
- [64:39]
A
Billionaire, the white dude. He's a billionaire. He's addicted to his health. He does, like, a blood transfusion in the morning. And he does this in the morning. He looks 20 and he's almost 55. Like porcelain. Not because he's doing crazy. He's so in tune with everything that he bites every nutrient he eats. If he's not going to the bathroom fully, that means my stomach's not working. Doctor, come here. And he's like. He looks like his skin has water on it. Like, he's, like, glowing. It's weird, dude. It's called the Man Addicted to Health, but he's a billionaire. He's a stupid rich white guy. Every hair is. I mean, he looks like AI. He looks. His skin is glistening and it's. It's like he put aloe vera on his whole body and then stepped out. Maybe he did. That's him. Look at his fucking skin. Oh, he definitely looks gross. Because he's older. With that type of skin, you're not supposed to look like that. Blood transfusions from his kids because they're 18. That's right. Oh, wait. Yeah. Oh, you just scroll. Look at his face.
- [65:51]
B
Yeah, he does kind of look like a guy that you'd see when you wake up on a table and you're looking up and he's. He knows what the inside of your brain looks like.
- [65:59]
A
And he's eating your gland.
- [66:03]
B
He's. He's managed to keep you awake, but he is still kind of eating a piece of your brain in front of you, but you're awake. That's that guy.
- [66:10]
A
Yeah, I can see that.
- [66:13]
B
That's what I got from his face. I didn't get health and rejuvenation.
- [66:16]
A
Could you imagine? Think about this. How many crazy, creepy billionaires are out there? What? I have the same sauna. I'm on my way, dude. I'm on my way. If he has that sauna and dances like Elaine from Seinfeld, I'm on my way to be a billionaire, dude. I'm gonna get there one day, and I promise you guys, I'll be the most fun billionaire ever. Have you ever seen Blank Check? That's the kind of billionaire I'll be. Just rolling around on go karts doing fun stuff, not children. You know, that kind of billionaire might have to bleep that. That kind of billionaire. I'd be so fun. Like you said, you know, it is to get addicted to buying little thing. Yeah, I moved on to statues. I know what it's like, dude. No. No statues.
- [67:03]
B
Yeah.
- [67:03]
A
If I didn't have goals in my life, you know how many more things I would have? I only buy a few things because I'm like, I can't not. I need to have that. I want that hulk so bad. But it's $18,000. I'm not doing it. Nope. Not gonna do it. I'm not. If I could. No, no, I'm not gonna do it. Nah. There is a moment. All right, never mind. I would buy that. Never.
- [67:28]
B
I'll take it back all the stages.
- [67:30]
A
Yeah. I was thinking, like, what if I can make this much money in a year? Okay, then $18,000 is not that much money. If you can make, like, $10 million, it's nothing at that point. But also, like, who are you to spend 18 bands on a toy, you idiot. My brain always goes back to, remember when you had no dollars? That's what I always think of. Like, no, I can't. I can't buy that.
- [67:50]
B
You got to make a hundred grand a month to make a million dollars for real. And with paying some taxes, that's, like, a lot. Once you wrap your mind around that, it's a lot. And it's. It's like, because you hear, I make.
- [68:02]
A
5 million a year. Like, that's not that much. But do you know how much that is a month? Dude, that's almost 500k a month.
- [68:12]
B
Ridiculous. It's, like, so entertaining.
- [68:14]
A
Ready? Get the craziest house ever. 24k a month. Super baller house. 40 bands a month in rent. Okay, cool. Badass. Three stupid sick cars, 30k a month total. With revenue, maintenance, all this, right? Then you get a boat for 100k. You still have $350,000 to spend a month, every month. Okay, cool. You got addicted to cocaine. 40k a month. You still have $310,000 to spend every month. And not like, why don't you go save it? No, the budget is, how much can I spend a month? I'm doing cocaine every day. Like, 40k a month on coke is nothing. When you're making $500,000, that's a. That's a. That's a gym expense.
- [68:55]
B
Mm.
- [68:57]
A
Wrap your head around that. When you go to McDonald's and eat food, it's like, damn, that's $12. $12 is not even enough to tip your valet driver. And it's like, that's my whole meal of the day. Like, dude, rich people are not the same. A thousand dollars is a tip. Can you imagine that? I brought 15K. What?
- [69:23]
B
I feel like such a baller when I go for that 22 tip.
- [69:26]
A
Oh. Oh, yeah.
- [69:27]
B
Universe is gonna like this one.
- [69:29]
A
Every time the wages. Or someone's gonna like, all right, here's like, 35. You know why? Because the universe is like, good, good, good. Like, and that person was cool, and they're gonna be stoked, and it helps them more. It's gonna make me stoked. And it just does this. You know, anytime someone tipped me a lot when I was doing pizza stuff, I'm like, all right, yeah. It makes your whole day. So that's why you have to remember, like, a tip is huge when you're working in the food industry. It's like, dude, you just made the whole hour worth it. And for you, it's like, you already ate out. Is it going to break your pockets? If it's not, then Tim and more. It's just. I don't know what it is. It's like the universe, like, good. Thank you. Keeping it going. Oh, no. But, yeah, Billionaire dude. Could you imagine that? How could you? Could you spend a million dollars a month? I don't even know if I could.
- [70:17]
B
I'd buy properties at children. I couldn't blow them.
- [70:20]
A
No, no, I'm saying, could you blow a million? I don't think I can without sin coming into my life. You know what I mean? Like, with horrible things happening, there's not even enough stuff. I like, I couldn't smoke that much weed. I can't drink that much juice.
- [70:37]
B
I'd be going pretty ham on the puff car.
- [70:39]
A
But, yeah, but, like, at a point.
- [70:40]
B
For a million, how much do you. I'm getting stuff. Once I buy every camera that Exists.
- [70:47]
A
I'm over it.
- [70:48]
B
I'm gonna. You know what I mean? There's only so much. Yeah, there's only so much I like.
- [70:52]
A
Once I can get that triceratops you can ride.
- [70:54]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [70:55]
A
The one around the house. Like, what else do you like? There's not much more. I'm not a creep. I'm not gonna, like, have a bunch of. In a dungeon or, like a second house for weed. For weird. Like, I don't care. It's weird. But people will be shocked. Sometimes on Friday nights and Rose is doing something, I'll be by myself. Like, taking dads going. I am just by myself, taking a dab. I'm 14 again. There's nothing has changed. Like, dude, I finally can go do stuff. I have money. I'm not doing any of it. Like, it's so weird. It's an odd, I guess, juxtaposition of life, like, to think about if that's the right word I'm thinking of. It doesn't really make sense. Like, I see a lot of people like, oh, if I had money, I'd do this. Like, would you? I don't think I like stuff enough or I. I never had opportunity to know that I like stuff. You know what I mean? Like. Like, I found about watches three years ago. Never seen. I never cared. Never. Didn't know. Didn't know about cars. Didn't even know cars were that expensive. No, I knew nothing. There's a spa, there's a this, there's a that.
- [71:58]
B
Like, oh, that's cool to be interested in.
- [71:59]
A
Yeah, it's cool to learn about stuff. Because now I'm like, oh, that is. That's tight. I like that. Oh, I do like that. It's just. I don't know. I've never had enough time to go. Like, I have money and abundance. I don't have to go to work. Every. Since I was a kid, I've been trying to work. So, like, I don't know what. The Internet didn't come to, like, high school. And I'm bad at computers till recently, so I never, like, search things. Today in our sprinter van, I found out there's a screen right here, controls everything. I've only done this. There's a fucking screen above my head, dude. And it opens everything and takes the. And moves the divider down. I called John to ask how to move the fucking van stuff. He's like, look up. I go, there's a fucking screen up there. A screen. Didn't know.
- [72:53]
B
Did it fall down or something?
- [72:54]
A
Oh, it's right there. Bright. It's a big iPad. Right in the. Right in the car. Never once, if I saw it, I'm like that. I just don't understand, like, how come I don't like. Do you like or do you. Do you. What about you guys in the comments? Do you likes. Do you have hobbies? Like, I wish I had a hobby. Like, I. I'll be honest. Taking that pottery class. I think I can do pottery for like, 10 hours a day. This is one of the most fun things I've ever done. When I move, I'm gonna buy my little spinner thing. That was one of the most. I have very bad ocd. And being able to make things perfectly even was just, I think, what I needed.
- [73:33]
B
That's how you should do some of your videos.
- [73:35]
A
I'm telling you, I was touching it. I was like, oh, that's off. Spin faster. A little more water. Perfect. Like, my fucking bowls came out like they were on a lathe. There's no. There's. There's this full. Saw it. There's nothing. It's like this cup. The has no variation in it. I'm sitting here like, that's where my OCD is at. Now I get it. Even things. You ever see me do this and then, like, go. Because I can't not have it straight. Pottery is perfect for that. If you want it to be crooked, you can, but not. You can make it perfect. I love that. I'll make a puffco soon or something. Puffco top. I love doing it anyway. I just wish I had hobbies, and I just don't know what they are. Maybe I don't know. I have been playing basketball. Playing basketball. And I've been trying to ingest as much. That's a hobby. When I was a kid, I used to brush my teeth, like, two hours a night when I couldn't sleep. I just sit there and brush my teeth. Like, well, my teeth are gonna be white as turns out, burning the enamel off my teeth.
- [74:42]
B
It's not how it works.
- [74:43]
A
I should do it for hours a night and clean my laces. I think what it is for me, guys, I want to do all the things that I don't have to strenuously do, especially as a kid. Like, I could have been running laps. I was a fat kid. But instead I did something I can make perfect and my laces. Like, watch the next fat person. You first, fat guy. You know, how many hats and shoes do they have? A lot, right? Because those are the only two things that are One size fits all the rest. You have to find and do shit. It's just a fact. How many fat guys you know, with a shoe and hat collision? Somebody just went all of them. Exactly. Because that's the only things that you could do right now. Right now. Like, I don't know what it is, dude. Like working for things and taking time is the worst thing for humans. Takes forever. I think that's why many people get facts. Like, you know it's gonna take to not get that. That. But dude, in a year you're gonna be like, thank God I did that, but you didn't. I think that's what it is like with. I don't know, I just sit up all night and just do. What can I do now? I think that's why making money as a kid was so prevalent in my head. Because I could do it now. I could change it now. I go change it right now. At any time I can go make money. I don't know. But lately I've been tr. I would drinking those celery juices and those drinks and all that stuff. I know it's going to take months and months. If I start now, which I never do. I've never just started now. I'm always procrastinating, but I did it. And working out every day, but doing everything. Took the hot yoga class, tired, and now I'm sick. A week of being super healthy. Now I'm sick. I can feel the heat coming off of me. You know what I mean? Like that I told Rocket it feels like Christmas time. I was sick the first like six Christmases. So every time I smell sick, my awesome like Christmas, dude, it's September, okay? Also, I can't smoke with the fans as much anymore. I smoke with like four fans after. And Rosie got Covid pretty much over. Guys, I'll give you a joint at this point, I can't do it no more. I can't smoke with fans like that anymore. I did it right after the show and I've tried to not hit it because I'm like, well, I hope I don't get sick. I'll get Rosie sick. Rosie gets too sick too easy for me to be smoking with fans. And I'm just gonna have to say no anymore from now on. I'm done. I'm done. Unless we're like going somewhere to smoke. I can't smoke with people no more because I'm. Every time I do, I get sick and I get Rosie sick. We've been sick six, seven times this year. It's like almost once a month, man. I'm cool off that. I'm over it. I was sick in the summer for, like, two weeks. Smoking a fan. I'm. You guys don't take your health as much as your personal health as much as I do. I guess I have ocd. I'm like, would you smoke with. Well, you touched your hand, then you touch the joint. So if it touch the joint, I touch it, put on my lip, and now I'm sick or whatever. That Bernie Mac episode where he's eating cake, he's going to Vegas, and he's, like, trying to stay away from everybody, not get sick. Remember that episode? Well, for all you weirdos out there, that's how I feel all the time. The Bernie Mac episode where he eats cake and gets sick. That's how I think about sickness. All right, let's get high. It's been an hour. Okay, guys. Wow, we're not even close. Next streamer. That was that long ago. I'm just gonna explain this kid to you real quick. I don't know how to explain him. I only included in Marty. So when you do see him or if we get pitched, you know, it's a no. This kid's name is Jack Doherty. Doherty. I don't know. He's like one of those white kids with, like, the curls in the front. You know, the shave?
- [78:22]
B
Like, oh, yeah.
- [78:22]
A
You know what I'm talking about. He sucks. He sucks a lot. But what I've seen of this kid is he rolls around and tries to punk people in malls and then has a security step in for him right away, which is one of the lamest things I've ever seen in my life. I seen him crash his Lambo, which sucks, but immediately got out and checked his car without checking on his homie, right? Automatic bad person bad. That's not no good for me. Like, I mean, he went out, was looking at his car, his homies just gushing on his forehead like, d, that's your homie. And I just. Like I said, I just see him rolling around with security guard and being mean to people and, like, kind of get punked. But people smack the shadow this kid all the time. I've seen him get smacked by, like, four people now. Maybe that's why he has security, because I see him get open hands. Smacked by.
- [79:16]
B
How could you not?
- [79:18]
A
I don't know. But if we ever get pitched, this kid, it's a big no. I don't know what he does besides that. I know he hangs out with A bunch of only fans. Girls. Good for that kid. That's awesome. I don't know how I don't have. He's Chet Hanks there. He's the Chet Hanks of stream, you know? I mean, like, damn, you have a lot of opportunity to do good things and money, but you're just gonna do that. Okay. Your dad's Forrest Gump. That's how I feel. Every time he's trying to be hard, I'm like, your dad was in big. Your dad is Woody from Toy Story.
- [79:53]
B
Wow. I forgot about that.
- [79:58]
A
Chad Hanks, Yo. We went with David Lucas in Miami, and he brought some. He met up with some Fisher guy. I don't remember his name. He wasn't the. I mean, I met the guy for five minutes. I'm a very good judge of character. I don't really like the guy. He seemed very, like, very facade. Like, I felt like his accent started when he saw David because it was a black guy. And then he talks different around his fan, you know, one of those guys. I'm like, I don't believe you. That's all I thought. Like, I don't believe you. And the first thing he said to me was kind of like trying to joke with me, but I was like, that's fine. And then when we left, I'm like, dude, how long you known him? Like, I met him right now. I go, you met him right now? And he was talking all that. I don't like him. He's too comfortable. He's like, it's Florida, bro. People bust balls down here. Go. Okay, I'll take it back. I'll take it back. Anyway, he was basically Chet Hanks. So Jack DY is Chet Hanks. And then again, the Miami guy, he was. Might have been super nice dude, but from the. The eight minutes I was with him, I was like, I don't want to be around this guy. He's like. To me, he was like Jerry Seinfeld to. Wow. How am I forgetting? That is so sad. The comedian that rides Jerry's coattails.
- [81:10]
B
Oh, I think I know. You're talking about.
- [81:14]
A
I'm sick.
- [81:14]
B
Oh, I do know what you're talking about.
- [81:16]
A
I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. There's no other. There's no way. I forgot his number name. What's the name of the comedian that rides Jerry Seinfeld's coattails in the show Seinfeld? I feel so dumb right now. Oh, no. Why can't I remember? I see his face, and I know all the lines, please. Can you Banya. Kenny Banya, right. Don't even look it up. It's Kenny Banya. Anyway, that's him. Jack Doherty. You ready? Kenny Banya. Here we go. That's who Chad Hanks is.
- [81:59]
B
Yep. You got it?
- [82:00]
A
Yeah. Okay, this next guy Rocco knows. I don't know who it is. Xqc I know he has a slight accent. French Canadian, unintelligible. I don't know who he is. I know he has blonde hair. Xqc I know nothing about him.
- [82:15]
B
Yeah. Pitch come on the show.
- [82:17]
A
Did he?
- [82:17]
B
Yeah, a couple times.
- [82:18]
A
Oh, I know he's huge. I know he's a fan. Rock was a fan. That's all I know of these guys. This is my judge of character. I go, oh, he seems cool. Rock is cool. Oh, he's cool. All right, done. It's all really matters because Rocco loves everything about this guy named Cody Co. Even his allegation. He loves it and he wants.
- [82:35]
B
He loves his allegations.
- [82:37]
A
Rocco's heartbroken about this guy. He watches this guy. I barely got sexual allegations of Rocco, like, fell to his knees. Noah Miller, the comedian that Rocco really loves, is his co host.
- [82:49]
B
Oh, okay.
- [82:53]
A
Yeah, it was weird. He's. Well, did you see that? That there's like this little thing on tick. I. I think the funniest people on the earth are people that don't make content. The people that leave comments on under videos are probably the funniest people to ever walk the earth. I saw this thing. It says, this guy's like, hey, man, I'm a tik. I'm a YouTuber. I got some followers. Like, two days later, I've got a million followers a year later. Wow. I've got this huge following and everyone loves me. Two days later, I'm going to kid like, oh, like every YouTuber ever did. You know, there's a lot of YouTubers that got allegations with underage people. What? The adults watch YouTube too. You don't have to go that route.
- [83:37]
B
Like who all?
- [83:39]
A
Like all of them.
- [83:40]
B
What do you mean? Like the younger generation?
- [83:42]
A
No, no. These fools are like 25 years old. All of them. There's that lady that. And this lady was underage, messing an underage kid. This ghoul of a woman. And then her apology was a song on a ukulele. And then she's playing it and she's saying like, that she doesn't like kids. Have you ever seen Always Sunny when Frank, they're doing the night man come. He's like, hey, we should have a song about how we don't diddle kids. Like, we don't like kids. We don't have sex with kids. Dating. He's like. Something like that. That's what all these YouTubers don't did them kids. All these YouTubers, the second they get a certain plaque, they're like, I'm gonna.
- [84:25]
B
That's what happened with a lot of comedians. Maybe not. I shouldn't say with, like, kid, but just being creeps in general.
- [84:35]
A
Ready? If I was single, dude, I'm doing the comedy thing and you're out there and every single show a is approaching you to go hang out. I understand how they bring in a bunch of chicks. I get it. That's their life. They're like rock stars in their head because they get to do this with just the words on stage. New city. I understand that. But after that, you're just a creep. You can't have everything in the world and then want more. Like, what else could you want? It's not like these girls. You have to go bag them. Most these girls are hitting on you. It's really it.
- [85:12]
B
But yeah, there's that. There's the. There's a second class of them that, like, they're so try to either manipulate the audience and, like, go on the offense and get creepy and try to use being them, being a fan to try to like, that's cool. That's. That's a. That's up for.
- [85:28]
A
I mean, it's like, you like me a lot, huh?
- [85:31]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then. Then there's the second layer of using that and then using that to, like, go after the youngest kids. You can online. That's where. That's where Chris Delia's allegations stem from.
- [85:48]
A
I was in the room with that guy one time. I feel so bad. I'm openly always talking about this guy.
- [85:56]
B
Right?
- [85:56]
A
Always. I'm sorry, dude. I know he's seen at least one of them. He had to have. And I'm sorry that you're a creep. It's not my fault. All right, let's move on. XQC Some French Canadian guy. Now, this last guy I just found out about this year. Didn't know who he was. Never watched anything of him. He talks like Josh from Raw. Like, the way he talks. I think his light skin and dark hair kind of reminds me of Josh from Raw. The way he talks. I've heard of this guy's name, and then I heard of another name. It's the same dude. There's a guy named Penguin zero and his also name Is moist, critical. I don't know why there's two names. He's like the news outlet of the youth. Anything that happens in the day, he's going to do a video on it that night. What he does is genius. Ready? Here's a camera. Here's my background. My video's done. I'm working too hard is what I'm saying. I do way too much effort into these YouTube videos that get restricted because I'm smoking. If I just sat down and talked about these things, I think I would annihilate that because I know how to speak. I already have a fan base. And these are current topics happening right now that are getting searched right now. I'm over here talking about from 1996 all the time. So I get it, I get it. So I have this moist, critical guy. He's got long, like long black hair. He does a lot of like say someone did something stupid in the news. So blah, blah, blah. The thumbnail is just that person and then it's him in his stream. So today this guy. And he'll break it down fully. Break it down. He has his monitor there if he needs to look anything up. And you'll cut that like boom. Yep, right here it says he did this 1981. Blah, blah, blah. So this is what I think. And he's just very, very. You know what it is? People like logic. I like logic. I will watch a logical debate for an hour and it just is what it is. Like that Charlie Kirk dude agree or not. Watching some of those debates when he has a person that knows what they're talking about is so cool. Cool. This fool has facts. This fool has facts. How do you negate his fact with your fact? Oh, wait, no, you're both right. Come to a conclusion. People can't do that. They have to win. They have to be right. I'll gladly be wrong as long as the is concluded and I know the facts now. So I like the moisture. It's like a chess. You can't. There's no double jump. You can't go, oh, I want my pawn back. I didn't mean to do that. Shut the up. Give me your. Give me a pawn. Like it's logic. So I like watching debates. But moist, critical guy is very logical and he's very unbiased. I cannot like you and still say that was sick as. Even though I don't like you because I'm unbiased. He's the same way. And I think that's why I like watching his so Moist critical is where I get most of my accurate current news. I don't watch the news about everything. Oh, about anything and everything. Marty, you should watch it. Like, he's. He's got a thing is. It's that this topic, tomorrow's a different topic. Tomorrow's gonna be a new video because it only took him 40 minutes to edit this. Yeah, there might be some overlays, man. At most, 3 million. 3.6 million views in one day. I saw last night his new video. Come on, man. That's showing you that. That's looked up, that's searched. People are waiting and watching. That's. This is what. I would love to do that. I just. I don't know, man. I haven't smoking as much lately. I still love smoking weed. I mean, of course I smoke every day, all day. Yeah. I just smoke like 45 joints in one day. I'm doing a judging. This is what happened, dude. I'm judging the Lumpy's flowers thing. They gave it to me a week and a half. A week and two days ago. And I said I'm not gonna. Last year I waited to the night before because then I looked at the paper go, it's due tomorrow. They need this paper by them. I have to smoke 50 strains right now. I did this year. I said, I'm not gonna let that happen. I gave myself 27 hours again. Again. I looked at paperwork. Two next week, go tomorrow again. I did it two years in a row. I went through all the rosins, all the carts, all the rosin carts, all the pens, all the joints, and all the infused joints. And then I did all the like 50 something strains. I have eight left doing today. And then I'm done. But I just got sick. So now I'm like, now I gotta smoke his joints and sweat and cough. My nose is plugged. That's the worst time to smoke. When your nose is plugged and you're kind of sweaty or cold. Yeah. Oh.
- [90:38]
B
Only time you don't want to ever, like, smoke.
- [90:40]
A
It's the worst, dude. So that's what I did again this year, guys. I did that again. But other than that, I have not been smoking that much. I know this is different because not all people smoke a lot, but I probably smoking like 2 grams a day of hash. Maybe a little less weed. I don't smoke that. If I have joints, I'm smoking 10 donuts a day. It's different. Rolling weed. I don't roll weed as much as I used to. I don't Know why? Just so timec consuming now. I get itchy. I get. I get the bumps like it pisses me off. Anyway, I don't smoke that much weed anymore. Like seriously I probably only smoke like like an ounce a week. Used to be four a week. I'm just busy man. And there's not that much fire weed around right now. It's all crosses of lemon cherry and. And with lemon cherry and lemon cherry with other. And I'm just over that. I'm tired of tasting the same terpene. So yeah, that's what's going on with that moist critical. You should really watch to get some of the actual stuff in your brain because I like seeing it better a.
- [91:45]
B
Lot of times it's true.
- [91:48]
A
Okay, I asked Marty to look something up and then bust it out but I can't look at it or else I'll know all the answers. It's really hard to do this and not look at all the. Because I have to have somebody else do it. So I have Marty look something up. He's going to ask these things. It's basically remember in ggn what's the first thing you think of when you wake up? Remember? I loved that question. But you ever see other shows like what's the first thing that comes to mind when I say blank? What's the first thing that comes to mind when I mention this? That's what today is. That's what this little segment is. I just wanted to go through it some current topic stuff and get to it.
- [92:25]
B
Okay, these are random coming in from Chat GPT. Oh I actually was talking with Chachi BT verbally on the way up here. You can tripping, you can assign it a voice and so that you're not like texting back and forth you can have a conversation with it. Same with Google Gemini AI has been making leaps and bounds these past couple weeks. The it sounds. It's a goofy ass name to give it but have you heard of Nano Banana?
- [92:55]
A
Yes. Say it again.
- [92:57]
B
Nano Banana.
- [92:58]
A
Okay.
- [92:59]
B
Is Google AI Gemini's answer to image editing where it's like on. On chat GPT if you upload a picture yourself, it's not going to look like you. It'll never look like you. It's always going to look like an off brand you. But the idea with Nano Bucket is like it's like Photoshop. I can upload a picture of myself the set a fucking car and tell it to do whatever and it's going to Photoshop it together and you can, you can do a text to image. But the idea with it is that it can do more than it can add in motion. The. The has just been really growing. Like I don't even know where to start. I feel like I'm getting left behind. Like there's too much. But anyway, I just wanna, I want to encourage everybody to go check that out because this is a unique little time in history that we got the opportunity beyond the beginning of this. So like to try to get good at it, to be smart with it. I. I don't think we should be shying away from it. It's not going anywhere.
- [93:57]
A
AI.
- [93:58]
B
It's trying to make weed related things here. Which celebrity would be the worst smoke buddy?
- [94:03]
A
Bill Maher. Even though he gets high. Bill Maher is Brian Griffin as a person and Brian Griffin's a douchebag. He's always correcting you, always saying he's smarter than you, telling you how many books he read. My book is almost done. I actually haven't started writing it yet. Bill Maher will correct you and then be wrong about the thing he corrected you on. I don't like Bill Maher at all. What I just used, by the way.
- [94:35]
B
Oh, that's Nano Banana.
- [94:37]
A
I just put make. This guy riding a horse in a thunderstorm did that in 40 seconds. No way. It even did your legs. You have jeans. It picked the color jeans you wear.
- [94:51]
B
Damn, I haven't worn jeans in 20 years.
- [94:56]
A
This is electricity in the thunderstorm. He's got a floating mic. That was cool. Take one of me. Put me, put me like in dodgeball where he's holding the, the whole bull by the horns. That's me taking the bull by the horns. That's what I want you to get. But hold on, let me get this. Well, this is a Hulk Hogan pose and. But like holding the bull.
- [95:18]
B
We got a couple more good ones here.
- [95:20]
A
Oh, yeah, we do. We're grown. We're grown. By the way, full adults right here. Okay, go ahead, go ahead. Who has the worst breath? No idea. Bill. Ma. Worst celebrity. Go ahead.
- [95:31]
B
The worst time to hit a dab.
- [95:33]
A
Is while you're coughing. I don't know. The worst time to hit a dab. Okay, hold on. In the, in the hospital bathroom when Rosie's recovering and then you get caught by the nurse. That's the worst time.
- [95:48]
B
You think you're slick with the popcorn, right?
- [95:50]
A
That's exactly what happened. It was actually a Carta at the time. I hit it, I zeroed it, I walked out. Thirty seconds later, the lady comes. Are you smoking in Here with no. She went, come on, dude, there's smoke coming out of the bathroom. And there wasn't. She just smelled dabs. I was like, oh, I hit my pen in there. She goes, dude, you can. You have to. I'm not gonna say anything. Go outside. Like, you can't do that. There's too much equipment in here. I go, oh, I'm sorry. I took 40 dabs outside that night. I just didn't want to go back outside right then and there. Yeah, I got caught at the hospital. Kaiser Permanent. Okay, go ahead.
- [96:30]
B
If aliens landed today, what's the first meme you'd show them?
- [96:35]
A
Can I have a gif or a video? Or does it have to be just a meme?
- [96:39]
B
No, I think meme is a general term.
- [96:40]
A
Just depiction.
- [96:41]
B
Oh, that weird. Like that.
- [96:43]
A
Okay. There's this thing that's stuck in my head constantly, and I'll actually bring it up for you. It's on Tick tock. It's this guy, he's obviously mentally challenged, but he's lying about something mid telling you about it. And he catches himself going, oh, I am lying. And then lies himself out of the lie mid video. And at the end goes, damn, what you think about it? He goes, my parents won't let me have dairy products because I shit in the bed. I all over the bed. I mean, my dog. My dog all over the bed. So I can't have ice cream. Tell me your opinion about it. 40 videos in a row. So my parents won't let me have ice cream because my dog in the bed and I was asleep and I rolled in it so it looked like I in the bed. So tell me your opinion about it. And just ends the video. 30 in a row, and I can't get it out of my head. My parents won't let me have dairy products. It's incredible. No, no, no. I don't think you get it.
- [97:48]
B
Is this just some you watch or this like. No, I think legendary Internet.
- [97:52]
A
No, I don't think it's legendary. And I don't. I don't think anybody else cares. My top search. My mom won't let me have dairy products that's controlling attention.
- [98:06]
B
Oh, yeah. You've shown me this before, for sure. Oh, yeah.
- [98:11]
A
Everywhere. Making a mass everywhere. And they're just afraid that I'll be making a mess everywhere.
- [98:18]
B
Okay, all right.
- [98:22]
A
The fact that he chose dairy products. My mama let me eat ice cream anymore. Just a. Like, bro, you do not have to post that. That's what's so funny. Like, nobody Asked. Tell me your opinion about it. Like, dude, that was confident.
- [98:39]
B
It's like every one of those memes just like nobody. And it's like him.
- [98:42]
A
Yep, exactly. That's the first meme I'm showing the aliens and they get here like, see, these are the guys you don't beat up. Now here's the other meme. It's just like a Andrew Tate walking. Like, these are the guys you're allowed to choose fights with. Also aliens. Oh, no, hold on, hold on. What meme are you showing the aliens because you don't know memes?
- [99:04]
B
I'm showing them the one of the down syndrome kid that says the you looking at?
- [99:08]
A
Whoa, which one is that?
- [99:09]
B
Oh, I thought that was a classic one.
- [99:11]
A
Mark, you just found a home video from one of his cousins and Oh, I thought everyone knew about my cousin. Nah, dude, I've never heard that ever. Dude. Or I like that one. That, that down syndrome. Why we only talk about downstairs? Oh, it's all light hearted. And there's one of this black guy, and this black guy walks up to this obviously mentally handicapped, goes, what are you gonna do tonight, yo ass titties. He goes, what are you gonna do? Eat it. Remember that. I'm eat him. He's all stoked as titties. Oh man. Dad syndrome guys are the best. They're like puppies that can talk. Can you write that down? They are. What do you want to do? You wanna go to the park? You wanna go the park? Yeah, I wanna go to the park. You want a hot dog? Yeah. What a hot dog. He's like puppies, dude. Like damn. He shill over the bed products, dude. Can you write that down please and send it to. They're like puppies. Dad syndrome guys are like puppies. Why? Because they might in your bed. They always want to go to the park and get them all riled up. Yep. And all puppies. Love, love footballs. What else? There's something there. Write that and send that to me, please.
- [100:28]
B
Hey, Tanks, what's one everyday thing you're convinced is secretly a scam?
- [100:35]
A
Car insurance.
- [100:37]
B
About health insurance by far.
- [100:41]
A
Ready? This is the way this is. Tell me what political party I'm in. I don't know what it is. We should have free health care. We have enough money for it. There's people out there getting paid a million dollars a year that didn't go to school. But they're a political party, so now they get paid like shut the up. That's all money from funding from a city for the Road that you scammed on. I get it. Everyone wants to shave money and I need a new house. Well, I can give me an extra $374,000 if I pass this bill. Like, oh, I'm passing eight bills. Cough it up. I get it. Because I would be there too. So would you. Everybody should have health care. But also there's out there that don't do anything that would go to the doctor for over nothing. Waste your time and money just so they could get like a prescription to go slang them. Like there's always gonna be bad people out there. And that's people get fraud and all that. I get that. We can't have free health care because who's gonna pay for it? I feel like we already put so much money into taxes that it should be paid for already. Because if other countries can do it and we're more ballin, why can't we do it if it's free? When I landed on my knee in Amsterdam. Go to the hospital, it's free. That's right. It is free. And you guys are balling over here. Why can't we do that?
- [102:07]
B
I truly like business owner. You gotta just like.
- [102:11]
A
But then again, doctors are not like.
- [102:12]
B
Thousands of dollars every month for this. You never use.
- [102:15]
A
Never use it. But what about like, what about a doctor? A doctor in another country. Are they driving Porsches? I don't know. I'm asking like, do they drive Porsches and have ball and houses like heart surgeons in India? Stupid balling. Are they? I don't know. But they are here because it costs a million dollars to fix your heart or you die. Would that take the incentive away from being a doctor here? The only people that could be doctors here are really here to help people at that point.
- [102:43]
B
This should be paid a lot.
- [102:44]
A
Thank you. It should be paid a lot. But most of them are getting paid like millions of dollars a year, which makes everybody want to be a doctor, which makes the companies go, we got to pay this doctor how much a year? We're raising up the cost of this because we need to make our money too. We're making times 10 what he's making. I'm not trying to make nine. I get it at a point, like it's a business, but no, it's not a business. Someone's gonna die over it. Then you're just a scoundrel, weird ass fool. So that's the side like it should be for you and the other side. Ready? I'm a insurance agency. Like, yo, this guy is 500 pounds won't stop doing this. He keeps drinking soda, has diabetes. Sometimes he says he can't see. And you want me to pay for that? No. So I get their side, but what about the old lady? Blah, blah, blah. Well, she's in the category of this. We're not going to go through every case. There's 2 billion people we're talking about. I get, I get both sides. I understand because their side, like we're trying to protect ourselves from getting scammed. But also then you treat everybody as if they're trying to scam you and then everybody's because of the scammers. Doesn't really make sense. Now you're not doing your job. We should have universal basic health care here. If your kid's sick, I should be able to go to Golden Valley Healthcare like I used to as a kid and get checked out like I did because we were on Medicare or Medicaid or whatever card I used to have to carry with me. I used to have to carry some. One of these cards. I, I don't remember, but I remember used to carry that. Lunch tickets should be always be free. I don't know why you have to pay for lunch tickets. It's public school. The food is dog. Anyway, Actually, those burgers, those double burgers in the plastic were so good. Besides that it should, it should be all that should be free. So what political party am I on? Because I agree with both sides. You got to stop the scammers from this side and their side. Like this fool doesn't even have papers. And I'm paying for all his medical work because I'm a. It's universal health care that I get that. But also, like, he's a human being. He's America. Help him. He's not from. You can't help him. You. That's crazy. But I get it. Like, well, when I waste my life away, I just fixed 900, 000 people for free. Wasted 20 years of my life, didn't make a dollar. Okay. Ah, you know what I mean? Just don't get hurt. That's all you can say after that. Like, I don't know what to do. And I guarantee you it's not the first time this has been brought up to somebody and they go, all right, so what do we do? Let's have a riot over it.
- [105:18]
B
It just feels weird when they make you have health insurance. Like, you have to.
- [105:21]
A
I had to pay for that right now. Remember when that happened? Everybody's talking about how bad the president is and all that. Every President sucks, man. Every one of them has to make shitty decisions. That makes a certain people group people hate them. How many people hate Ronald Reagan because he did something this? And how many people love him because he did that? Because it helped them, but it them. If you make money here, someone's losing it somewhere else. Who's going to lose it? That's really what it is. And the guys controlling it are like, we're not losing it. You, you have 14 kids. Give me your money. I get it, dude. Under Matrix, man, I'm not trying to be in it, but also I'll, I'll control it if you want me to. It's both sides. Like I don't care either way man. And that's what it really is. I don't give a. Either way it's gonna work. I don't know what political party that is, but yeah, universal healthcare with very, very meticulous overwatch on it. Because I get that ebt cut out all that. Can't be buying candy and drinks. That's crazy. You can buy soda and Jack in the box ebt. I mean I was in welfare my whole life as a kid. I get it. Never once did we go buy sodas and candies. I remember specifically, I've never once in my life ever done that with my mom. We always at the grocery store and Food for Less. Grocery store, Food for Less. Dollar Tree Grocery Outlet, Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Grocery outlets is. Remember, potatoes are cheap, vegetables are cheap. It's the stuff you want to eat that's expensive. It's a packaged that turns into 30 bucks. You can make a crazy ass chicken noodle soup for like 12 bucks for a whole family. If you really want to be serious about it and not be like just complaining. I ate boiled hot dogs for like a year and ate at work. Everybody just needs to be a single broke dude for a while and then you understand that you can make something out of nothing. You'll make it work.
- [107:16]
B
You can survive off peanut butter and jelly and cheese quesadillas for 20 years I couldn't chew.
- [107:19]
A
What the. That sounds like a child's.
- [107:21]
B
That's where I'm at. I need to get my together.
- [107:23]
A
Yeah, yeah, no more quesadillas. Throw some vegetables in that.
- [107:29]
B
I need to like. I've decided like I'm gonna be 40 next year. I need to do. I need to like do what I did with meat with sugar. I mean like how I mercilessly asked meat out of my life. I need to do that. With sugar and just start eating, like, actual regular meals, I think.
- [107:45]
A
Yeah, that'd be cool. I just ordered beef tallow pills or whatever it is. What? What? What? Beef liver. I feel sick. I'm not. I can't do this vegan. My body's not liking it. I could feel my body just like, hey, I'm powering down for you. All right? We're on the low. We're on the decline now. That's how I feel. Like, how long am I gonna be alive? My body feels like, you want me to do this for 50 more years? You. That's how I feel. Like, my body hurts. Now I'm feeling better. I've been doing all this, but I ordered some, like, actual animal animal products. I got those because I'm not gonna eat meat. I'm just. I just can't. I can't do it. So I'm gonna try everything around that. If I could put a vegetable soup, and maybe it's a bone broth, I don't know. But I'm gonna try these things for, like, a month and see how I feel. But also, is it the facade? Because I've been working my. I've been working out and doing and stretching and eating better. Is that what's gonna make me better? And then this extra just was a placebo, and all I'm doing is killing a cow for it, because I don't want to do that. I don't know what to do, man.
- [108:58]
B
That cow's already dead by the time it got to you.
- [109:00]
A
Yeah, but they wouldn't have killed it if it didn't have demand, because you were buying those for so many years.
- [109:04]
B
Yeah. You're tapped into the system.
- [109:09]
A
I'm not gonna eat meat. I'm not gonna do that yet. But I did. I started taking away protein, and that's from milk. We'll see how it goes. I feel bad. I like when animals come up to me like, you're not gonna eat me. And I could tell. Like, I know that's why all animals come up to me all the time. They always do. I don't know. Maybe they know that won't hurt them. You imagine like, oh, I love this little animal. Oh.
- [109:37]
B
Or lamb.
- [109:38]
A
So sad. I would never. I couldn't. How many lambs do you have to get to know and kill throughout the course of one human life? A lot. Like, 40.
- [109:52]
B
What do you mean?
- [109:53]
A
You have to raise and kill like, you're a farmer. You have to raise and kill these lambs. You can only do it so many Times a year, you're only gonna live for like 80 to 90 years. You're at least killing 80. Times three a year, you're killing like 240 lambs that you've gotten to know and raised to know.
- [110:12]
B
You've got them all healthy and they've.
- [110:13]
A
At least came up to you once and try to play if something can play with you. I can't eat that, dude. That's crazy.
- [110:25]
B
One by one, they go down the little line or whatever. That. That's where it gets real dark.
- [110:31]
A
Everybody that I become friends with on my farm, I eventually out. Maybe I'm not taking beef liver pills, man.
- [110:41]
B
I know the weed doesn't help with this. You start smoking weed and thinking about this. Dude, I was thinking about this before.
- [110:48]
A
I ever knew what weed was. When? Vegetarian. I was a little kid, remember I told you I saw that truck. Why are those chickens on there? They're gonna get killed. Go for what, though? There's a nugget. Shut the up, Mom.
- [110:59]
B
It's not a chicken nugget.
- [111:00]
A
You're crazy. Chicken nugget. Go. And that's the day I lasted. One week. Yep. Okay. Yeah. More of these ridiculous things.
- [111:12]
B
Last one. What would your prison hustle be?
- [111:18]
A
What a horrible question to think about. Ready? Reevaluate all prisoners paperworks for a fee. And I'd use Chappie GTB Jack GTP on the computer to do it. And I do five a day for five. 10 bucks each. I made 50 a day, and I'd use five of it to hire the biggest guy ever. Like, hey, anybody that looks at me wrong, go stab them and the rest of the money is yours. And the other $5, I'd be like, dude, I'm gonna get some toys. And this cell is looking lame.
- [111:55]
B
Big ass homies for life in the Solomon show.
- [111:58]
A
Why not?
- [111:59]
B
All right.
- [111:59]
A
Chat GPT. People's paperwork make it better, tighter their case. How could they chat gbt? How can I get out of this court case?
- [112:04]
B
I never thought about that. That could really up the whole prison system. Start unraveling cases. The AR starts training on all this information.
- [112:13]
A
Are there any legal loopholes in this case? Actually, yes. Under section blah blah blah. Like, could you imagine, Marcus? You're out.
- [112:21]
B
You've been sitting in prison for 30 years. AI comes about, you do just that. Turns out the whole thing was nonsense. This whole time.
- [112:30]
A
Why not? Sounds reasonable. All right. That was cool. That'd be what I do in prison, though.
- [112:43]
B
That's a good move.
- [112:45]
A
Everything that makes everybody go. Keep him around. The been getting fools out.
- [112:50]
B
It's the easiest hustle of all time.
- [112:51]
A
Yep. On it. That's it. Good question. I like that. All right. I mean, horrible thought process of how to get there, but it had like.
- [113:03]
B
For like every 40 goofy ass questions, there's like five good ones.
- [113:07]
A
Really?
- [113:07]
B
It's usually how it goes.
- [113:09]
A
Okay, so guys, here we go. We talked about earlier, but I don't know. I can't be smoking with people after the shows anymore. That's definitely where I got sick at. This sucks, man. What a bummer. So, guys, this last Wednesday, real quick, recap. This last Wednesday, I did a show at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood. The first time I've ever been there or performed there. Sorry, one second. The first time I've ever been to the. Or perform at Hollywood Laugh Factory. So real quick, I told. I think I told Marty. There's like 30 people in the green room. This big ass room. Jay Hernandez, Mario Lopez, Concrete, every. All the communes. Everybody that's on there, There's a bunch of people. There's other comedians there. I saw Dustin Yabara there. I'm a big fan of Dustin. Your bar. I didn't say a word to him. I was sitting in the back by myself, 20ft away, pacing, going over my. And the whole time, like, man, I look like an. I know. I do. I know. Everybody's like, task was not even saying hi to nobody, Nothing. I know it. I don't give a. They're all seasoned comedians. I'm not. I'd rather impress these out there than impress these in here is what I was thinking, you know, like, even though I want to talk to these guys, I'm fans of that guy. I like that. I follow him and that guy. Like, I watch your guys' content. You were just on Jimmy Fallon. Good. I just watched you on Jimmy Fallon. I was like, I don't give a. I saw Orie Adams just standing there. I'm like, damn it. I'm such a. I talked about him on the show. I'm such a big fan of that guy. Didn't say a word to him. He was by himself. I didn't say a word. I was just so, like in my head going over, make sure I got it now. I got it as chapters. Start of a lyric, start of a lyric, start of layer. And I have the whole like you talked about. I got it. It worked.
- [115:03]
B
Nice.
- [115:04]
A
Finally clicked. So I'm like, what chapter am I in? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All right, I got it all. Only got four chapters. This set let's go. So I'm doing it. I'm doing my. I'm up there not speaking a word because I'm in my head. And then they called me up. I'm doing my set. And the thing I said before, I was like, I'm gonna just try to have fun and, like, laugh when I know shit's funny. Because every time I say a punchline on my face is dead. I'm looking around the crowd, I'm dead face. Just watch people laugh. I've never liked nothing. I'm just like, all right, yeah, it works. I'm, like, studying the crowd. I say. And I look at him like, okay, all right, good, good, this worked this time. I'm like, talking and laughing in between because I'm like, oh, this is going to be more fun. These are. It's the Mexican. Oh. Shout out to Mario Lopez and LRM Management and way out loud for having me there. I was on the marquee of the Laugh Factory in Hollywood.
- [116:04]
B
Come along. Where.
- [116:08]
A
I screamed out loud when I saw it, I wasn't out of my car and I yelled at the top of my lungs. Blew my mind. Are you kidding me? Anyway, doing the set, I say my first couple punch lines and they go over really good. And I'm like, all right, are you with me? And I got in my second middle part and I said some, and I go, this is the funny part. And fools were cackling. I'm like, are you for real? And I kept talking to this gang banger up top because he was the only obvious gang banging ass fool, and he was a good sport about it. I talked to him after, but I just kept referring to this dude. And every time I did, it's like everybody would shift and look and crack up. And, like, we are talking to the crowd does do another element of. Because I like comedians that don't do material crowd work. I like material. Like, that's what I personally like in person. Like, when I'm at a show, I want to see you do material. If I'm online, crowd works fine. Crowd work in person, I don't really care for because I'm like, don't pick me, man. I don't want to do this. Am I all embarrassed even though I was just up there? It's really weird. It's really weird. I. I'm. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Anyway, halfway through the first middle, I'm like, all right, it's going good. And then I hit my second part where I know, it's like, gets a big pop. It's got a big pop everywhere else but these. Damn, dude, when I tell you went over well. The. Everybody was laughing. And I remember I'm like kind of like laughing, moving around. I'm looking around like, are you kidding? And I looked up and I could see fool's laughing. And I'm like, no. Every room I've done has been huge. This is the smallest room I've ever done, which sounds crazy. This is like 200, 300 people. It's the smallest room I've done. It's tight. And the tightness of the laugh factory and everything's on top and stacked. It's like a oval. So all the laughs, like, hit at once, like the brea. Everything travels back and comes in a wave because it's such a big ass auditorium. So I'm sitting there like, dude, it must be the room in my head. Like, it must be the room. Damn, these laughs are big. And then I get to my story where I start doing the acting out that first part. And when I right, my eyes are closed when I do that part, so I have to listen to see if it works. And it was overwhelming. I damn near wanted to stop and go, thank you. Because I've never felt like. Like I got such a pop. I was waiting for it to stop and it finally stopped. And that's the first time I waited for a pot. And then I started talking again and it worked. And I remember somebody was like, if they're. If it's quiet, you're winning. I go, true. Because they're talking, they're not paying attention. If they're quiet, that means they're stuck listening, which makes sense. But the quietness always scared me. This time I waited. And when I opened my eyes, I saw. I was like, oh, my God. This is really what it's like, huh? It's the first time. That's the first time I felt like, fuck, yeah, I get it. Because it's such a close room. Everybody's right next to you in that room. And I was going through. And I was going through one of my last parts. And everyone's laughing. And when they're laughing, I look over and I know there's a little light and it just shows Mario Lopez in the back. I'm like, oh, yeah, fucking marlope. I completely forgot I was on stage just doing my shit. I'm like, oh, my God, that's right. So much of Hollywood motherfuckers in this room right now. And I'm killing it. That's all I can't remember. Like, I'm crushing it on the. The show that matters. Sick. And I'm getting. And I say bye and I'm getting off. And then as you have to walk through the crowd to get off, and I remember everyone juiced. I'm like, dude, this is different. And none of them had my shirt on. So I'm like, oh, you guys are just here, let's. I met like four fans. Not a lot. Five fans out of like two, 300 people. The rest were Mario Lopez fans. Concrete fan. Like, they weren't mine for sure. And that was. It was awesome. But I told you as I was walking through the crowd to get back up, every single person stopped me and was. They're like, yo, you're great. I'm like, it's different. It's different. When no one's ever seen anything I've ever done, they go, dude, what the. That was fun. Like, oh, you have no idea what you just did. You just made me so excited. Like, oh, man. I don't think any of you guys understand what that did or that does.
- [120:32]
B
It's like shooting gas on a flame.
- [120:36]
A
Bro. I got through. And as. As I'm going through, I'm like, no way. Next one too. No way. I'm trying to, like, get up through the back. Like, there's no way. Every. Every single per guy and girl, like, this is different. All the other show's been great. Rocco was there. This show was the. The best show. It was the best. I think it's because it was a small room. I think so, because, like, you could feel you could. It was different. I thought, I can jump up and high five people. Like, it wasn't like they were in an auditorium like in the Covina, that big ass theater. Anyway. The most fun I've had on stage, hands down, my favorite show I've done. And then they hit me the next day. I got booked for another show, but not there. I'll be at. I think it's called Club Besos. It's a nightclub, but they're doing a comedy thing. I don't know. I'm doing any room I can. October 2nd, I'll be in Downey at Club Bezos. And then in October 12th, I'll be in Torrance with David Lucas. Two shows, 7:30 and nine. Two shows. October 12th in Torrance. And I think the venue's called Mom Said Yes. Something like that. I'm not sure if that's the venue or that's the show what it's called. Sorry, guys. I just have it on my. My calendar lightly. Oh, about three hours ago, I decided I think I'm gonna push the paper drop back.
- [122:05]
B
Just to confirm mom said yes as a restaurant and bar in Torrance.
- [122:08]
A
Okay, there it is. Restaurant, bar and Torrance. Why the is David Lucas playing the restaurant and bar in Torrance? It better be nice as hell. Fool's doing theaters. You know what? I think communities just do any room. If you're a real community, you know, you're just doing anything.
- [122:21]
B
That is true.
- [122:22]
A
I'm there. I'm with it. That sounds. You know what? If they do live music there, I'm down. As long as it's built for live. That's. You know what I mean? Like, you can't go play a bar that doesn't have a. A amp.
- [122:37]
B
They have stand up comedy on the home page of their website.
- [122:39]
A
There it is. I will see you there. October 12th. It says party. Am I allowed to say, oh, no, they booked David Lucas, we're fine. I always think, am I gonna get in trouble? Like sometimes I say stupid. But like, oh, look at that lady dancing. Oh, this is a. This is a trunk. Why people. Look at them dance on the left and that on the right. This is the home page. It's a movie. I love it. It's incredible. I like it so much. This is. This is awesome. I'll see you there October 12th and October 2nd. I'll. I will see you new. I'll be in New York next month. I told Marty we haven't locked everything all the way in, but I don't know. Shout out to my guy Ryan. He's getting us ready for all the. The papers are dropping, right? So that's what I was saying. My papers were supposed to be in my hands September 8th. It is the 22nd. I still don't have them. Annoying because we sent them all in for lab testing. I know it shouldn't be. I'm lab testing all the papers because it's the most ultimate way to know. Like, there's nothing in these. This papers are per. I want nobody to be able to say a word about anything that I do. Ever. These papers are going to be the biggest thing we've ever done because they're bigger than us. They're bigger than anything. They're going to be ingested into your lungs on a daily basis. It's gonna supersede anything we've ever done. It's just papers. It's just what? I can't say the brand yet. But it is just what that is. It's just gonna be synonymous with weed. Like, it's just Pack of zigzags. Oh, a pack of these. Like, yep, that's my own that. Holy. And I keep forgetting, like, yeah, that's right. We own that. I'm more excited. Like, oh, my God, it's real. I'm gonna see this in stores, which is crazy. It's supposed to be October 1st. I think I'm gonna push it to the 14th or 15th now. Now I think we need two more weeks. I haven't done any of my promo. I haven't done the lifestyle shoots. I don't know anything. I'm still waiting because the. The test took like a week longer than they said they would. So they're getting. They're supposed to be here today. They're not going to be here today. Now. I wasn't going to be able to do the show today. I was supposed to do it yesterday because of the papers. It is what it is. What's the need to rush? There's no need to rush. I got it all. I got all the seating boxes. I'll show you out there. The boxes. The got everything. We're gonna have nice little promo packages ship out to every. I'm so excited. Anyway, the reason I'm saying this, we're going on a little press run to talk about what I've been doing in the papers. And my homie Ryan got all this locked in, but I'm going. We should just wait.
- [125:11]
B
I think you already mentioned it. Some, maybe not. Maybe an unrestricted or some. I don't know.
- [125:17]
A
Anyway, I'll be in New York to do some interviews next month. Some really big interviews actually. So let's just leave it at that. I'll just leave it at that. I don't want to say who I'm gonna go do interviews with, but I have three interviews in New York next week or next month, which sounds really weird, but I have to do some interviews in New York. Baller as. That's so sick. God, how cool. Dude. I gotta start remembering things. I start keeping a diary or something or just, you know, save the pictures in an album. I have so many pictures throughout the years and they just get erased. Every time my phone gets full, I go, not relevant. Not relevant. Don't you now. Don't need it now race. I do. I've done that 500 times and lost so many years of pictures. I'm bad with this stuff. I wish I was good or better like this at the beginning. Because I'd have all my content. Almost all my content is. I don't have. Which is pretty up. If I do have it. They're screenshots and they've gotten fuzzy over how many times I've screen. Oh, it's okay. You know what? I want to go tell a story on my camera today and do a video today. I'm gonna do one video today. You know, maybe that. Maybe that. Talk about that. But I'm supposed to be like, smoking and chilling. Like that's my whole channel. Kind of why I'm there any other people. That's why I watch. That's why I do it. Because I want to get high and do stuff. But I'm kind of at the point where I'm like, yeah, I can do that. But what about other. But then it's just more channels and more work and more. It's like. I don't know if that helps anymore. I don't know. We'll. We'll get there. But guys. Yeah. Thank you so much. We've been doing so much stuff. Marty barely mentioned that. And then send something dyslexic. Marty got a new car and said. Speaking of dyslexia. They never said anything. Marty got a 50 cent get rich or die trying to white Mercedes. I went out. It's sick. Brand new. Marty's got the sickest car in this room right now. It's brand new. It's pretty awful lot.
- [127:21]
B
Yeah. I went to get the. I want to get a. I don't know if we talked about this. I want to get to the electric car because I was trying to get in the we did HOV lane. Then come to find out that isn't even a thing anymore. The electric cars don't even matter in the HOV lane anymore. You can't even rock it like that anymore. So we went back to the drawing board immediately. Scratch that. And then I was just going to keep the bends. I had. And it was just. It had a lot of little annoying. It was like a 2018. It just had a lot of. I was going to have to put a couple thousand into it. I'm like, I'm really not trying to do that. But I was kind of upside down on it a little bit. I. It wasn't worth as much as I was going to get for it. So we went to. We went to the Mercedes dealership and they figured it out. We got this new E350. But the is so smart and it's so sick. Like it's Got like all this smart functionalities. It's got the double dashboard. It's got the front, back inside, dash cam, all kinds of super sick. You can talk to it. I walk in, scan my fingerprint. It's like, hello, Marty. It puts all my in place.
- [128:25]
A
I need to do that, Tom. Marty. I'm still logging as guest on my car. Every time I click guests, I'm like, I don't want to set it up right now.
- [128:32]
B
I set up everything immediately. I got. I do got to get like the. The speakers are horrible. That's the only thing lacking. I got to get like, put an amp. It was surprising. They are lacking.
- [128:45]
A
The speakers are like Marty's, but I put it at 72. It didn't do what I wanted it to. My hat stayed on for real.
- [128:52]
B
I need something, but it's all good. I smacked some tints on it, and I'm gonna put a little amp or a little something in it.
- [128:59]
A
Marty's nouns are good. I smacked some tints on it. I put a little slug off this thing because, like, the things he said are not nouns, but he makes them nouns. Took a little slug off this. I smack tents on my car. Like, what the. I love it, dude. Think about it like, that's like a mad lib. Yeah, you speak mad libs. I like that.
- [129:21]
B
But yeah, we leased this one, so I want to. I want to be happy in the shirt for the next couple over years.
- [129:26]
A
You leased it?
- [129:27]
B
Yeah.
- [129:28]
A
I don't know if lease or buying is better. I can never remember, but I remember my guy was like, the percentage is this big, but you can't super customize a lease.
- [129:37]
B
I'm wondering. I don't know if I'm gonna have any.
- [129:39]
A
You don't like smoke pounds in there either, so it's not like it's gonna.
- [129:43]
B
It just means like at the end of it, you don't have a appreciated asset. You can just basically turn it in and they do all the maintenance on it. Like that sounds like a W to be.
- [129:52]
A
If you're not gonna do a crazy alternative crazy things to it, just get a lease. The only.
- [129:58]
B
I'm hoping, but I calculated the miles. I don't drive that much. I drive up here like twice a week. That 10,000 a year is not a big deal. I'll make the kids jog to school and back. Not a big deal.
- [130:11]
A
Hi. I live in Orange County, California. Very rich city, very rich county. We don't have school buses.
- [130:20]
B
So.
- [130:20]
A
School buses in everybody.
- [130:21]
B
There's no school buses, so. Yeah.
- [130:22]
A
So that's why he's the bus driver every morning.
- [130:24]
B
And not only me. Every parent at the school descends upon the school twice a day and blocks up the entire neighborhood.
- [130:31]
A
It's.
- [130:32]
B
It's. It's a super smart situation.
- [130:34]
A
How stupid is that? One of the richest counties in the. In. In the state.
- [130:41]
B
I'd say play the country.
- [130:43]
A
You don't have school buses. Maybe that's why.
- [130:45]
B
Because they were too bougie. Nobody was riding them. I don't think that's the only thing I could think of.
- [130:50]
A
That can't be. Dude. I don't think there's bougie kids. I mean there is bougie kids, but.
- [130:54]
B
Nobody wants to drive their kid to school. Nobody wants twice a day in the middle of the day, in the middle of the day they get out like 2 o' clock or some.
- [131:01]
A
Unless it's not a big deal because most people are balling and they have nannies. That could be the only other reason. I see parents. Not completely.
- [131:09]
B
I see. Yeah. At least at my kids school it is. Parents dropping off and picking up a job. I see them every day. I'm one of them. Like it's. But yeah, we got that going.
- [131:18]
A
That's cool. Marty got a new car.
- [131:21]
B
Yeah, it's super sick. The kids are like bro, what the Cuz you can. On the passenger side, the dashboard is its own screen. So you can get your own YouTube. Your own. The videos going with the headphones that are only going on your dash.
- [131:36]
A
That's so baller.
- [131:37]
B
Super sick. And then like I. I'll be on the app. It'll be like lock the doors. Oh, your sunroof's open. Lock this. Turn it on. Do all the it Put the. I got the key as a card on my wallet.
- [131:49]
A
On the phone. I have that too. Damn. I still haven't used.
- [131:53]
B
I don't even know what it does. I think I could start the car with it or some. I don't even know how to do it. When you walk up to it, it's got the handles. The door handles are flush to the. You walk up to come right out.
- [132:04]
A
Some jets and is all very cool, very futuristic.
- [132:08]
B
But I'm paying like a barely $100 more or whatever than I was for this piece of 2018. I wasn't a piece of. But it was about to be.
- [132:20]
A
Got it. It was. It was like last year.
- [132:23]
B
Last year it was a 2018.
- [132:25]
A
But didn't you just get it?
- [132:26]
B
No, I got it like three years ago.
- [132:29]
A
Was it?
- [132:29]
B
Yeah.
- [132:30]
A
My sense of time's we don't have a window.
- [132:33]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [132:34]
A
I mean, like, we have no sense of. Did something change?
- [132:37]
B
Yeah.
- [132:41]
A
Yeah. It's weird. It is odd.
- [132:44]
B
It was good, though. I was like, I could put some money in this and drive it for another. Another hundred thousand miles or just get a smarter, newer, better thing for the same, basically.
- [132:54]
A
Exactly. Which is why you should always divorce whoever you're with at 50. Get a. What did you say? Turn them in. Get a new one at least, though. One that you don't want to keep forever. Because Once they turn 25, it's the Leonardo DiCaprio method. Once they turn 25, they depreciate. It's a quarter century. It's over. Right?
- [133:16]
B
Turn them in.
- [133:16]
A
Turn them in. If they have any extra bags, they get to keep the baggage. You just got to pay for maintenance, which is child support.
- [133:23]
B
Rolls right over.
- [133:23]
A
The next one goes to the next one, and then the next one with depreciation, and maybe one of them might not make it. Boom. One child support payment gone. And this is how billionaires are, and this is how billionaires think. And that's why they have glass skin for real, because they blood transfused. The kid that didn't make it, he's just a Jesse Pinkman in a basement. Oh, my God. I could imagine there probably are people that do that. There's probably a billionaire right now with a room full of, like, young people. Like, I need your liver.
- [133:58]
B
Sorry.
- [134:00]
A
I've been doing so much. I need a new one. There's pro. Oh, my God. Like, get out the way they do. Get out. When they. When I watch that movie, I'm like, I don't see this being very far off. I feel like you could transfer consciousness. Is what a state of what? I don't know. We don't know. Can it jump? If people can consciously travel different places and do remote viewing, does that mean their vessel can be taken over by something else? Because you're not in it.
- [134:27]
B
If a mushroom can hijack it.
- [134:31]
A
You see what I'm saying?
- [134:32]
B
Malleable.
- [134:34]
A
That's why they say when people get so drunk, when they drink spirits, that they get taken over and do crazy things when they're drunk. Like, that's. That's like a way out. That was an old tale of, like, when you're drunk, it's because you let a demon into you. Because you got your brain so detached from your body that something entered you. That's why you act insane when you're drunk. Like, I don't remember doing that. That's not me. Like, oh, because something else. And that's what. Like, that's why they're called spirits. And I go, damn, dude, these white women with crystals they have make a lot of good points on Twitter. They make a lot. They're rubbing their crystals together and. And typing the craziest. But it makes sense. I get it. How many people have gone. I blacked out, don't remember anything. Well, what is blackout unconscious? So something took over your. I don't. I believe people can get possessed. Totally believe that. Now. Is that a state of, like, he was so twacked out he got possessed and stabbed by people. You see those cases of tweakers? Like, I don't remember doing that. I have no. What are you talking about? I don't know. Drugs, I think, maybe are a way of, like, out of this level. So you can just watch it from the top. It's like pressing select in gta. It's like you're just looking from the top like, damn, that's full stabbing something. That's me. Oh, my God. Because you. How many people you see crazy downtown. Go, man, what if they're saying some real. We're just tripping. They're talking to nobody. But in reality, they're just seeing another dimension and they're like, damn, you can see us. All these people think you're crazy. Could you imagine that?
- [135:58]
B
Dude, it's a good movie.
- [135:59]
A
Everybody think you're crazy. But in all reality, like, you guys are just somewhere up here. Yet meth does wonders. But too much meth and you look like that guy. Could you imagine? Meth is actually the cure to get out of the Matrix. It's just too much. It's just too much. Will you. The right amount of meth with your body weight will break the Matrix, but the wrong will turn you into my dad. Guys, thank you for being here. We have been talking about a bunch of stuff and I don't feel good, so I don't remember anything. My head feels like it's underwater and I have headphones on, so it's like, it's even. Yeah, I can hear even my breath. I can hear the ethnic. The ethnicity in my voice. Also the surfer. Okay.
- [136:52]
B
I could dial in some nice, like, Reaver or like echo in your voice a little bit like in a music studio. It might be sick.
- [136:58]
A
That'd be cool. Auto tune reverb.
- [137:01]
B
There you go.
- [137:03]
A
Podcast.
- [137:04]
B
Put a beat behind it.
- [137:06]
A
Talk about some serious ass topics. Someone's crying. And just for the auto tune.
- [137:14]
B
You.
- [137:14]
A
Kind of suck I like that auto tuned eulogy. That's my new show. We tape your eulogies to your family members, but it has to be an auto tune or you give us the right to be able to do anything to your voice. Idiocracy's not far away because somebody would make that show.
- [137:33]
B
Damn you, AI. Your own voice.
- [137:35]
A
We're getting. We're getting close. Like you know the Idiocracy, the movie where they can't solve the world's trash thing? It's just India. It's already started. It's just not here yet. That's why it's not relevant to us. But I. Like I said, we've talked about recently. Who watched that video? Oh my good lord. It's a mountain of trash over there in certain areas. I don't, I don't. It's like watching hoarders outside, dude. But there's just trash. Is the hoarding not everywhere? But wow. That one city isn't floating. It's. It's literal trash. I don't understand. Okay, let's get out of here, guys. It's all the topics of what I know. Thank you for being here, Marty. Got anything else you want to say?
- [138:15]
B
Appreciate you guys.
- [138:15]
A
Look at Marty's cut off. 1945. I just, I'm a black man that just got led in the league sweater. That's the sweater. He's got Buffalo Bills. It's got no colors, it's got no logos. This full just got led in the league. Look at that. Oh, dude, his kids are getting picked on at school. And other helmets. Yeah. Leather helmet cleats.
- [138:41]
B
I got drafted. They won't let me live in the neighborhood yet. I'm on the team.
- [138:44]
A
Yeah, but you can't ride the bus to the same same bus to the team meetings and you gotta ride the different bus. That's what kind of sweater Marty's got on. One time Marty wore I was just released as a slave jacket one time. Do you remember that? And it was a Jackie Robinson jersey. And I go, oh my God, how fucking racist is that? He goes, it's an old baseball J. Like that's from the 30s. That's like slavery just ended the fuck. And then he took it off and it was a Jackie Robinson jersey.
- [139:13]
B
No, you're mixing up the fitted with the fucking Jackie LA hoodie.
- [139:17]
A
That's what it was. His hat was like some old. I have straw in my mouth. I could own people.
- [139:24]
B
It was supposed to look like that vintage Detroit. You would see.
- [139:28]
A
It was like if I didn't Know Marty be like, damn, this was gonna call me. Boy with that kind of hat on. Look at this tall white, blue eyed man with that kind of hat on. If his glove is just looks like those big fat old leather ones, we're in for some. Me and him are gonna butt heads to the end of the movie and he's like, I accept you. That's what you look like if I didn't know you saying a tall white guy with blue eyes and that kind of hat. Look at that sweater.
- [139:56]
B
Draft it.
- [139:58]
A
Auction is what I would call it. He calls it drafting. Yeah, Jerry Jones. Exactly. We talked about it yesterday. I got a projector from Rosie got a projector. So it was my back sucks. I was at like look up and half sit up to watch tv because even though we have the smart bed thing too much, it just hurts my back. Anyway, she got a projector because Rocco said to get it and it's on my ceiling. So now I watch Seinfeld to fall asleep like this. And then I woke up yesterday morning and the thing floating by Netflix watch now. And it said America's Team Cowboys. And the first thing I thought of was Marty's like, the Bills are pretty much America's team go. No, it's the Cowboys. And I'm like new documentary called America's Team.
- [140:48]
B
It's just Jerry Jones to piss me off originally. Anyway, Marv Levy beat the out of Jerry Jones.
- [140:54]
A
That's a great sweater. It looks like propaganda.
- [140:58]
B
Yeah, it's got that like classic poster font.
- [141:01]
A
Like, have you ever seen they Live well, you said you only did the. You see the covers? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that looks like. You ever see Obey Yeah. On the billboards? Yep, that's what that looks like. Buffalo Bills. You like them? You like them. That's what Marty's trying to do to us. He's brain. And then he's gonna filter where it swirls and we're all gonna get brain.
- [141:23]
B
Slow zoom in this whole time Ethica.
- [141:25]
A
Buffalo Bills. Buffalo Bill. That's so to even make that and sell it is a. Is a confident move. Like, like, yo, we're the Buffalo Bills. What's our sweater gonna be? How about a muted gray?
- [141:40]
B
Well, you got to consider every Bills fans got a closet full of blue and red. You can't really just rock that.
- [141:45]
A
Any team say any team ready. That's the Baltimore Ravens.
- [141:50]
B
Okay.
- [141:50]
A
To put out that color with just a ransom note style letters, you know what I'm saying? Like, is there anything on the back? You touched it to see if anything this will touches. He went to touch. That's when you know your athletic. Let me see. I don't know. Yeah, it's an eyeball. How could you even reach. I think you have letters. Oh, it's just a buffalo. It's a black Bills logo.
- [142:17]
B
Oh no.
- [142:18]
A
Well, there's pretty sick in black actually.
- [142:20]
B
Like see, There you go. See, these are colors that actually people wear that match. Yeah.
- [142:25]
A
For real. But it just looks like a. Like I don't know, it looks like the color went out on a movie.
- [142:30]
B
This is how like when I do like like classic poster stylings for like even like makes me think of like Karate Kid. Like a boxing poster. Like a old.
- [142:40]
A
Yeah, you talk about the font.
- [142:41]
B
The font that arc with that classic. To me that I think of like the back of the Karate Kid jacket or some like early 80s.
- [142:49]
A
I love the tech. I'm just saying early 8. It looks like propaganda. It looks like the obey. Procreate, sleep. Obey from they Live.
- [142:58]
B
It's like a kid did it with a stencil.
- [143:00]
A
Like it looks like a stencil stock. I like letters. I just didn't realize. I just. Just noticed. It's like. It's like the color got taken out.
- [143:10]
B
It's like. Yeah, it's a desaturated illustrating.
- [143:13]
A
It's a decent. It looks like in the movie Pleasantville before.
- [143:16]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [143:16]
A
Colors come and. You ready? You're Jeff Daniels now from Pleasantville. God, that's a good movie.
- [143:24]
B
Get you a nice little T shirt hoodie too, by the way. That's a combo hybrid. People don't really know T shirt hoodie.
- [143:31]
A
I like that it's got a cut off sleeve hoodie. I like the cutoff sleeve hoodie. You could wear that in Def Jam Fight for New York. That's the outfit you could wear if you got your cut off shorts on for damn sure. Let's go. Dude, you do have a. You have a David Banner fit on.
- [143:46]
B
Of course.
- [143:47]
A
Of course, dude.
- [143:48]
B
If you're wondering, I got my premium ethical shorts on. You could get 20 off of code dope as usual. 20 by the way.
- [143:54]
A
Oh, I got.
- [143:55]
B
Oh yeah. We're both f k the out right now.
- [143:57]
A
It's just these sweat. These. These finally work. I think they were just didn't fit and I had the wrong side. Remember everything slides off. I think my pants were just falling off at this point because these are fine and these are sweatshirts.
- [144:10]
B
Shout out to Ethka.
- [144:12]
A
Oh, we even talked about it. Sign the contract. Ethica Dope as usual. Marty's been working that for like two years. It's official. We're officially signed with Ethica for the podcast. We have capsules coming out in all the stores online, all the zoomies and all the stuff. It's all coming out very soon. Ethica, dope as usual in a store near you by the first quarter. If not, hopefully December.
- [144:32]
B
That's trippy to really even hear you say that. But it's true.
- [144:36]
A
And it's like we do push tree stuff. Yeah. These fools make millions of units. It's not the same. This is so different. They. This is on a scale of like, yeah, we've been doing the mom and pops versus like, hey, Walmart wants a collab. Sick dude. Yeah, that's how the. The, the scale of this. Like your friend opened up a Etsy shop versus Walmart. Wants you on the shelf.
- [144:59]
B
Yeah. For real. Shout out. Ethical. Such great energy and just everything about it. I'm super excited about that.
- [145:05]
A
Oh yeah. And I completely forgot what I was going to say. But there was one more thing I pointed here, Ethica. It was important.
- [145:11]
B
We're going to be at Ethica for the warehouse. They're. They're having the first ever giant warehouse sale.
- [145:17]
A
And I believe, yes, in Orange county.
- [145:18]
B
The 17th and O.C. we will be there doing dope as usual.
- [145:25]
A
I remember now. But yes, Ethica, we're going to be doing the first day. It's a three day event. We're doing the first day and we're going to be like hosting the.
- [145:32]
B
So I'm gonna clear off about a half court too. And you saw some too me and.
- [145:36]
A
Camp, they said that they're gonna do the sale on the basketball courts. As Barta Hughes go. But no, I want to play like. But that's where they're gonna sell everything. But they can clear one side off. They need it. I don't know. He doesn't get it yet. It's the second time.
- [145:50]
B
We'll just run four corners. We have.
- [145:52]
A
It's fine to just one strip where nothing's in the middle. One three. Three foot strip, straight down and then that's it. You're not gonna juke me. I won't juke you. We'll just back each other down for two hours.
- [146:06]
B
Back and forth, back and forth.
- [146:09]
A
Oh, Jeff Daniels. That's why I said that. And I went. What was I gonna say? I was Arizona. No, it was Miami. I can't remember. I have the best compliment of my life. I forgot to tell you. It may at first I'm like, what the did you say? Say it again. That was tight. It wasn't bad. I was back after my set, and that fool, the tall fool, I can't remember his name. David's homie, Black guy, the tall ass dude. That was very square, but very cool. They were smoking weed. I came off, I did my set. I'm dying. Of course, we guys haven't seen it. Anyway, I'm just. I'm standing there, like, catching my breath, and they're like, yo, man, that was great. I'm like, oh, thanks, man. He goes, you remind me of somebody. I'm like, oh, all right. Where you going with this? Is this gonna be bad? And he goes, the white guy? I'm like, gotta be. I don't know. He said, come on, man. He's in the movies in the 90s. I go, that's better. But where are you going with this? You could say Tom Arnold and piss me off right now. You know what I mean? Like, Tom Arnold. And then he's like, nah, come on, man. He's the funny guy. I'm like, that helps. That makes me feel better. But who said he's in the movies? He's funny. He moves around. I go, could be a lot of people, man. He's like, he. Come on. He's with Jim Carrey and stuff. Go, Jeff Daniels. He. Yeah, Jeff Daniels. Like from Dumb and Dumber and Speed. For real, you think? I. You remember Jeff Daniels, you know, the real funny guy. And I show him a picture like this. Jeff Daniels. He goes, oh, no, that's not what I'm talking about. Oh, man, thank God, dude. Jeff Daniels, the man.
- [148:04]
B
But, like, so random.
- [148:06]
A
He's. He's like a. A Labrador. He's, like, very calm, and when you need him, he'll be there. Like, that's Jeff Daniels. He's funny when he needs to be. If not, he's just kind of quiet. Fly away home Fly away home thank you. I. I went to the rating of that movie. When we lived in LA with my mom, we got to do the thing and say, what did you like about it? What did you like? This comes out in a few weeks. What do you want to change? And we. The scene I didn't like, I guess everybody didn't like because it wasn't in the movie. The part where he's like, buck shots of one of the birds and get someone. I was like, that was bad. No, and it wasn't in the final movie. What the. Anyway, dumb movie about birds out of here. Take a plane, dude. And he kept saying it for 10 minutes. I'm like, all right, man. All right, cool. It's his friend. So we're standing. I'm just standing there. I have nowhere to be, like, backstage, you know? And then I'm like, all right, cool. And he shows me a picture and go, are you with me? That's who you meant to say, and you didn't know his name. And I'm like, are you sure? And looking. I'm like, chris Farley. Why didn't you just say Chris Farley? You're old. You know his name. He said, oh, Chris Far. I'm like, how did you forget Chris Farley's name? Also? Say it again. Are you sure? Because that's the best compliment I ever heard my whole life. Life. He's like, you know the way you're moving around out there. I was like, and I'm fat. So that, you know, that adds to. He goes, yeah, you know, in the hair. I'm like, so I'm fat with hair. And you made you laugh. I thank you. At least you didn't say, you know, carlos Manc. I'm like, now you're just racist, because I have nothing to do. But I remember I forgot to. Yeah, it was the funniest thing. It took forever. The whole time, I kept thinking, I really hope he doesn't say Carlos, because nothing I just did out there says anything that that guy's ever said. And thank God it wasn't. It was just the best comment in my life. That's all. I don't know why that took so long, but it did. Jeff Daniels, racist sweater. That's where we got here. I want to race a sweater, too, but I wanted to say the Redskins. I wanted to say the Washington Redskins.
- [150:13]
B
The white skins.
- [150:17]
A
Blackface. Oh, what if we just made that color sweater with just a bunch of sick words?
- [150:22]
B
Well, every. Every estrogen, every NFL dude is doing blackface, by the way. We just let that go.
- [150:28]
A
Marty, those are called African Americans. Understand? That's just how they are, dude. That's. Oh, you mean the black paint? Oh, I thought you were talking. I was like, that's just Dion Sanders, dude. He looks at that all the time, man. Oh, it's up, dude. Dude, look who I work with, man. That's crazy. He didn't know that. That's just how they look. It's like Mexican. Like, you know, they always duck down. Like, that's called. They're just short, dog. There's. You know, they're always crouching they're just short as dude, Mexicans are small but they'll fight. They're always good boxers. Isn't that crazy? Every Mexican just can box. Thank God we got something dude. We can box and cry when we're drunk. Oh sick. Yeah, dude. There's nothing else. And of course there's a Mexican Latin X guy that just commented actually dog, did you know that? Shut the up. I'm not. I'm kidding. Of course you could do more things. You could beat the. You could beat your wives, have multiple families simultaneously. Drive real shitty on the 405 this morning. Bunch of things you could do, man. All right, let's get the out of here, dude. Yeah.
- [151:44]
B
Appreciate you guys.
- [151:46]
A
Thanks guys. Thanks guys. This has been the dope as usual podcast. I'm delirious. This is Marty o'. Neill. Thank you for being here. Have a dope ass day. Perfect, perfect.