Different Dimensions w/ Craig Conant | DOPE AS USUAL Podcast

Summary

---

DOPE AS USUAL Podcast

Episode: Different Dimensions w/ Craig Conant

Hosts: Thomas Araujo & Marty O’Neill
Guest: Craig Conant
Date: June 2, 2026

Episode Overview

This lively DOPE AS USUAL episode features stand-up comedian and podcast host Craig Conant for a wide-ranging, candid, and hilarious journey into psychedelics, comedy, wild life stories, personal transformation, and thoughts on spirituality and sobriety. The hosts and Craig swap tales and insights about experimenting with drugs (mushrooms, ayahuasca, acid, weed, and more), the intricacies of stand-up comedy, family heritage, and how transcendent—or terrifying—psychedelic states can become. The episode stands out for its open humor, deep dives into self-discovery, and irreverent yet affectionate look at LA, family, and the comedy grind.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Early LA Weed Scene & Hash Bars

[00:52-02:39]

• Craig reminisces about the old days of LA hash bars and weed speakeasies before full legalization.
• "It was like cheers but for hash heads… They dab you up. ...I trusted her more than these corporations." – Craig, [01:08, 01:53]
• Odd DIY/organic grow stories (fertilizing with "period blood," bat guano vs. human fertilizer).
• Hosts joke about the questionable sanitary practices and the unregulated vibe of early medical marijuana days in LA.

Childhood, Family, and Ethnic Mix

[10:03-13:54]

• They discuss their mixed ethnic backgrounds, Mexican and white heritage, and generational family quirks.
• "My white side… golf scholarships … Mexican side… straight gangster LA baby." – Craig, [13:04]
• Craig’s stories about family split, growing up in LA, and colorful gangster cousins.

Drug and Psychedelic Stories

Mushrooms, Acid, Ayahuasca

[15:36-17:41][19:40-35:51]

• Hilarious and harrowing tales of huge mushroom trips at Coachella and teenage “mushroom parties.”
• "I ate six grams when I was 16… I was just stuck… galactic space… dragons flying out of trees." – Craig, [17:08]
• Distinct difference between mushroom and ayahuasca journeys: Mushrooms tend to “take you where they want,” while ayahuasca offers a feeling of steering the experience.
• Craig has done ayahuasca 19 times and describes confronting trauma, “vomiting snakes,” and feeling spiritually cleansed.
• "You secrete DMT when we're born, dream, and die. ...You go to the different dimensions; you die and come back." – Craig, [26:24]

The Ayahuasca Experience & Shamanism

[24:05-35:51]

• DMT vs. Ayahuasca: Ayahuasca contains DMT but is seen as an “OG” spirit medicine with profound, time-tested ceremonial intelligence.
• "The shaman told me not to do DMT... stick with ayahuasca." – Craig, [24:07]
• Real shamans, safe ceremonial practices, and prepping the mind/body for the experience.
• How singing, diet, and intention affect the depths and outcomes of the ayahuasca ceremony.
• "You can choose your own expansion, bro. Choose the stars or your childhood." – Craig, [30:47]
• Experiencing intense physical and spiritual purges, but also control: “If you want to not feel it, just turn on the light” (on ayahuasca vs. mushrooms).

Comedy, Sobriety, and Career Path

[62:59-69:22]

• Craig discusses his path to comedy after a string of wild incidents (meth use, being raided, firecracker arrest), getting sober (not counting weed and plant medicines), and finding stand-up after improv.
• "I threw firecrackers at police on horses…The meth… I always wanted to do this." – Craig, [63:16]
• Describes what it means to be "passed" at The Comedy Store—compared to being a made man in the mafia.
  • "It's like having the keys to the gym instead of just going to the gym." – Craig, [66:21]

Spirituality, Jesus, and Haunted Places

[05:37][72:05-74:16]

• Craig’s spiritual evolution, from irreverence to finding a connection to “Jesus consciousness” largely through ayahuasca ceremonies.
• "I roll with Jesus, homie. The fuck outta here, bro." – Craig, recurring throughout
• Experiencing healing, “rocking in different dimensions,” and feeling connected to the whole circle or universe in ceremonies.
• Hilarious and spooky tales about haunted comedy clubs: "The Comedy Store… mob owned… mafia setting up a rifle." – Craig, [69:51]
• Recurring jokes about rose water, sage, and banishing bad spirits.

Drugs: Tales & Cautionary Humor

[39:13-46:02]

• Meth, coke, PCP, salvia, edibles—funny stories about accidental ingestion and youthful experimentation, with a clear message about downsides.
• "I smoked meth and got raided three days later. ...God showing me, like, hey, knock it off." – Craig, [42:40]
• Reflections on dangerous highs, overdose stories, and moving from hard substances to weed and psychedelics as safer outlets.
• Multiple stories about friends and family “peeing their pants” on PCP or getting in trouble due to substances.

Comedy Clubs vs. Bar Shows

[75:44-78:41]

• Advice for up-and-coming comics: Doing bars builds "calluses" and sharpens performance, but comedy clubs are where the real growth and respect lie.
• “Diamond forms under pressure. And that's pressure. It cooks you quicker.” – Craig, [78:22]

Tolerance, Reset, and the Ritual of Weed

[56:01-62:10]

• High weed tolerances, legendary edible feats, and the necessity of "resets" to get the giggles back.
• “Some people take two hits of this and they're laying on the floor. ...We're just smoking a fat joint, talking ayahuasca.” – Craig, [56:36]
• “You stop for one to three months, you come back—it’s like, early sexual experiences.” – Craig, [58:01]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Psychedelic Wisdom & Humor

• "I want elves, not goblins. ...Ayahuasca is DMT in an organic syrup form." – Craig, [25:48-26:24]
• "The real ones go there to face it—like Iraq war veterans will go to face and puke it out." – Craig, [31:47]

Comedy & Family

• "My dad says, build a wall, and I'm like, what about mom, man?" – Craig, [11:27]
• "My white side, golf scholarships. Mexican side: straight gangster LA." – Craig, [13:04]
• "It was like cheers for hash heads." – Craig, [00:55]

Burnout & the Craft

• "You can only tell your story about being raided so many times. I need a new raid." – Craig, [15:08]
• "Diamond forms under pressure...bar shows cook you quicker." – Craig, [78:22]

Spirituality & Ayahuasca

• "On ayahuasca, something's controlling my body…straight up Ratatouille." – Craig, [73:36]
• "Shine bright, homie. Shine bright. Your light is within Christ consciousness." – Craig, [74:59]
• "He was healing me. I was like, what the fuck, is that what he did?!" – Craig, [72:27]

Drugs Gone Wrong

• "I smoked meth and got raided three days later…in LA, they have real crime…they’re not raiding you for meth, once." – Craig, [42:40]
• "We all woke up in the car and none of us remembered anything… that's too strong." – Craig, [61:22]
• "That's how they filmed the lunar landing—they weren't even on the moon, they were just on PCP." – Craig, [44:55]

Stand-Up Life

• "Being 'passed' is like having the keys to the gym…before you were just a guest." – Craig, [66:21]
• "I started with improv & sketch, because I was terrified of stand-up…now I'm scared of improv, love stand-up." – Craig, [64:32]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• LA Hash Bar Memories & Early Weed Culture: [00:52-02:39]
• Ethnic Heritage, Upbringing, and Crazy Relatives: [10:03-14:01]
• Mushroom Trip Stories: [15:36-19:04]
• Ayahuasca, DMT, Shamanic Perspectives: [24:05-35:51], [72:05-74:16]
• Meth, Coke, Edibles & Drugs Gone Wrong: [39:13-46:47]
• Stand-Up Career Path & Comedy Store: [62:59-69:22]
• Comedy Club vs Bar Show Advice: [75:44-78:41]
• Weed, Tolerance, Reset Routines: [56:01-62:10]
• Spirituality, Comedy Ghost Stories: [69:22-74:16]
• Top Movies, Glass Blowing & First Joints: [87:06-91:57]

---

Tone & Takeaways

This episode is authentic, raw, and irreverently funny but packed with life lessons about addiction, spirituality, artistic struggle, and the healing (and hazards) of psychedelics. Craig’s stories resonate with both comic resilience and hard-earned, sometimes mystical wisdom, delivered in the show’s signature style: relaxed, profane, and full of love for self-discovery, community, and good weed.

---

Listen if you want:

• Unfiltered tales of the LA scene—then and now
• Psychedelic deep-dives with practical, comedic perspective
• Reflections on spirituality, trauma healing, and "Christ consciousness"
• Stand-up advice, wild bar show war stories, and reasons to stay sober (or not)

---

"Shine bright, homie. Shine bright. Your light is within Christ consciousness. Hey… heaven and hell… it's all just in here."
- Craig Conant [74:59-75:13]

---

Transcript

[Interviewer]

Do you know about all that Santa Ria demons and people getting.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, I know that. I don't want to know about it. I roll with Jesus, homie. The out of here, bro.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You Satan. Perfect. Perfect.

[Craig Conant]

Perf. Perfect.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Hey, what's up guys? Welcome to the dope as usual podcast. My name is Thomas. No, Brazil, whatever you want to call me. This is my co host, Mario Neal.

[Interviewer]

What the is cracking.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Today we have Craig Conan. How do you say your last name? I've heard it said twice too.

[Craig Conant]

Con it Conant.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. You're from la?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, born and raised.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So there was hash bars out here?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, on like La Brea back in the day when it was medical. I used to go to this one shop. It was cracking. It was like cheers but for hash heads. And you just pull up a C. They. They dab you up.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What was it called?

[Craig Conant]

I think LBC was on like Pico and La Brea. Like that area.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like because in that area that do you're from, do you remember the like the. The hidden speakeasy weed?

[Craig Conant]

Oh yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Where you pull the bong and the door open the wall.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, not that one.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, that's some Scooby Doo, dude.

[Craig Conant]

This was some though. You brought in a glass jar and they give you five bucks off. It was straight H of like a recycle thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Glass water.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, they definitely weren't paying taxes.

[Craig Conant]

No, no, bring your dirty ass hash bar. Yeah, it was lit, bro. Little rum cakes, everything mom and pop.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, this is 2008. Yeah, yeah, I said. Cuz I remember getting edibles from like this lady made it. Like I'll buy it at a store. Like what if she poisoned us guys?

[Craig Conant]

So good. I trust her more than these moms. I trusted her corporations.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You know what's one thing when I stop trusting mom and pop, it's gonna be disgusting. But in the bay there's a. There's a female grower. She's very. She's pretty well known. She's known for putting her period blood in the soil.

[Craig Conant]

In the soil.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

In the soil while it grows.

[Craig Conant]

Well, the soil. That's all right. No, it's not all right. Hey, organic man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's what she said.

[Craig Conant]

You could piss in the soil and the skin good.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't piss in my. Please, please don't do that.

[Craig Conant]

Dude.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I want a hippie that's like, no. These nutrients and bugs.

[Craig Conant]

What's it, bat guano or human guano? I'll take the b. I agree. I take bat guano any day over human Kaka. Dude, that's disgusting.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Ace Matero 2 got me over back guano. I'm like, yeah, it's kind of good.

[Craig Conant]

It's cool, dude. That rhino scene with him popping out,

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I had a picture in my bathroom. It's perfect in case anybody's like, yeah, this is how I feel. Like, exactly, man.

[Craig Conant]

The kids, you know. Oh, God.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You know, honestly, as a kid, dude, when you're a kid, did you think everybody was the same guy in different movies? Like when I was like five? Like, that guy died a movie. How the is he in this movie when you're a kid? No, I was retarded.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, you're retarded. No, I agree. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, because I was like, I watched, I watched. What was it? That's more Killers. I'm like, that guy's dead. How is he? How is he in this new movie? Robert Dan, Jeremiah. How is he alive? They shot him. Him.

[Craig Conant]

He's Iron man now. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's so funny how you can be just a drug addicted guy everybody talks about like, you're Iron Man.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, he turned the page, homie. That's lovely.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I showed my dad Tropic Thunder this weekend. He's never seen it.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, Classic rdj.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's so good. Man, oh, man. Every time you pull blackface off a

[Craig Conant]

well, he should have got an awesome.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You forget he was halfway through. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a white guy.

[Craig Conant]

I thought it was Bernie Mac. No, that's racist. I'm just joking. RIP Burning the King.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Speaking of blackface, did you guys see Jamie Kennedy do blackface as a judge? It was hilarious.

[Craig Conant]

He did black faces.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He did a show, a pilot where he's a judge on that on tv. But he's in blackface, black hair, lips, talking. It's hilarious.

[Craig Conant]

I've never seen or heard of a

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

little Jamie Kennedy under there. This will.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, let me pull it up.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, put it up right there, please. It's not that it's bad. It's.

[Craig Conant]

But he's black. I don't understand.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, Jamie.

[Craig Conant]

Ken. Oh, I think. Oh, Jamie K. I thought you meant Jamie Foxx. See, I'm retarded too.

[Interviewer]

Eddie Murphy and white face.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, I did see that. I did see that. Holy.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You did start your dab journey recently.

[Craig Conant]

I'm like, but he's black, dude. Yeah, he did him face. What was he really do black faces. Ray Charles, Hot Topics.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Did you. Did you bring it up? Where's he? There he is.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Incredible.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, Joe Brown, basically.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I Love Judge Joe Brown.

[Craig Conant]

He's the. Have you seen him do long form podcasts and talk? Oh, oh, Kamala Harris is a hoe.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yes.

[Craig Conant]

She was stating the Montel Jordans and

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

people got mad at me for that.

[Craig Conant]

It was so funny.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't want a side as the president. We talked about this. You can't be the main. You're not going to be our president.

[Craig Conant]

He's. He said that. You said that.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I said that people got so mad at me.

[Craig Conant]

It's true.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You can't be the side.

[Craig Conant]

And she's not home. She's.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

She's not home. That's an amazing way of saying stupid

[Craig Conant]

as she's not home. She's. Them all. They're all rapists, by the way.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, they all weird as.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. I don't trust her. I don't trust him. I don't trust none of them. I do that. You know, it's funny. I usually say Jesus is king west side, just like, as a joke, you know? And I make silly jokes like, gang bang for the Lord, homie. And it's just fun, weird. I say, that's. That's a little inside joke. Your fans won't get it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Your fans won't get it. Yo, we did a photo shoot at the park the other day. Rocco, how hard did that gang banger try to preach Jesus to us? Oh, yeah, he pressed us. Go to church. I'm like, oh. He's like, you take this pamphlet. I'm like, oh, hey, so glad you came out with a pamphlet.

[Craig Conant]

It's better than that knife.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I thought he was gonna kill us. Like, oh. Because he was mad at us.

[Craig Conant]

He was like, all right, go to church.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And then we went and saw our homies. There's about 12 of them surrounding.

[Craig Conant]

They were sitting on the floor.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, they were sitting on the ground surrounding all our homies during the photo shoot. Like, dude, if we don't love Jesus, they're gonna.

[Craig Conant]

You better. Hell yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They're gonna beat the out of us. You have kids?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I got one. Nino.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

How old?

[Craig Conant]

He's two and a half. Oh, yeah. New. New. He still smells good. Oh, he gets a little sweaty sometimes.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's a little under his eyes.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, we were running in the rain yesterday.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That shit's lit first, baby, how old are you?

[Craig Conant]

I'm 42.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Okay, so at 40.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

See, I'm deciding if I want kids too.

[Craig Conant]

How old are you?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

36.

[Craig Conant]

Perfect.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No.

[Craig Conant]

What are you waiting for? For bad knees. Do it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, man, I already got bad.

[Craig Conant]

What are you waiting for you're gonna wait longer. You gonna be Robert Downey De Niro. I said the wrong

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Pacino.

[Craig Conant]

I'm Craig. Down syndrome, what's up?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But all you did was prove my point. Like, yeah, you can wait 35 more years. Look at these guys.

[Craig Conant]

They can't run and play. That's the point. Roll in the mud. I mean, no, I'm not saying like. I'm saying, dude, buy 40, sprout some out. You don't even need to know her as long you got money. Yeah. Oh, you're married.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You don't even need to know her. Ruin your life, drain your money. Yeah, I've met some fools that have babies with girls they don't like.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It sounds like a nightmare.

[Craig Conant]

It's a nightmare.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. That's terrible.

[Craig Conant]

No, we get along. We're not together. That was more a joke. But, yeah, you're married. Perfect. By 40, bro. By 40, you got four or five years. Let's see, you don't want none at all.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't know.

[Craig Conant]

All right, you gonna just enjoy your life, freedom and money. But then at the same point, like, this kid that can ruin your life also can be, like, cool the whole point.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Or.

[Craig Conant]

No, not even, like, I did. But if he's lame, you'd be like, why'd I do this? You know, I got a badass. He's already chewing bark and digging in the dirt.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I just imagine a child biting a tree for some reason. I don't know.

[Craig Conant]

A lame is just like. You know what I mean? Just. No.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Nah. But I don't know. We'll see. You ever see the end of Mr. You ever seen Mr. Deeds?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Remember his uncle that dies on the top of Mountain in 90? That sounds cool.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. You can die with your kid next to you.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Hey, I know you're 40 years younger than me, but you're gonna die with me.

[Craig Conant]

Okay, let's go to this.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

We're gonna die together.

[Craig Conant]

He makes it out. No, it's just.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He makes it out because he's 40 years younger than me.

[Craig Conant]

It's some that everybody said, you know, that the common generic advice that everybody says to you before you have a kid, like, oh, it's just different, man. Or that too. But, like, it is. It's just different once it happens. You like, oh, it's like, you're like, oh, that's me. That's this little guy. And it's just fun.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Late. All the time.

[Craig Conant]

You're gonna be late. I was on time. Oh, yeah, you were.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, True. More than a mogul.

[Craig Conant]

5 minutes early.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

25 faster than a mogul.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. I don't know, dude. We'll see.

[Craig Conant]

You got time, bro. You got time.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

See? Thank you. That's all I want to hear. I got time. Okay, real quick, how long you been doing your podcast for?

[Craig Conant]

Like seven years.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, that's in your garage?

[Craig Conant]

In my spare bedroom.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It looks.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Good job. I did not think that was in a someone's house. Yeah, sick. Good.

[Craig Conant]

Had some triple O G's up in that.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Half whites, half Mexicans. That's what we did. We had a white guy that speaks Spanish build our perfect. Yep, he had the work ethic and

[Craig Conant]

a little bit of both. You need half and half. Are you half? Are you full? What are you?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm a little bit of a bunch.

[Craig Conant]

We're all mutts.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm the only Mexican. My family, those are Spanish and my mom's half Mexican, half, like, Polish Jewish lady.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, n. So it's a little.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

My grandma from Mexico is actually German born in Mexico. It's a big front.

[Interviewer]

So you're like 75% Mexican.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I would say 50 maybe, but if

[Interviewer]

your m half Mexican, that puts you over.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, right. I'm half.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm 75. Okay. I don't speak Spanish. I don't know.

[Interviewer]

But you don't. That takes you back down to 50.

[Craig Conant]

I don't. I don't speak Spanish, but I look like. I don't speak Spanish.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You look like you sell me good weed. Badassing.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Are you trying to get over me on the ass? That's the guy. You look like. You look like this guy.

[Craig Conant]

See what God just did to you, bro? What the.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's you. It's us right now.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. My grandma was from Chihuahua and she didn't speak. She didn't speak English. She didn't speak English, bro. We were straight. Straight out of Mexico and then we got whitewashed real quick. This is crazy.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Which one, dad or mom was white?

[Craig Conant]

My dad's a white boy.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like, construction white.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Boston white, German, English white. Boston blue eyes.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Hates browns. Kind of white.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. And married one.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He married one. To keep the enemy close.

[Craig Conant]

Dude, look, that's in my act. My dad says, build a wall, and I'm like, what about mom, man?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Together.

[Craig Conant]

No, no, no, no. Oh, the way you said when I was 10, 11, 12. Young.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You know, I've only met people that's. Parents were divorced beginning or never met their dad. I've never met somebody that got a divorce, like, growing up.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, never it's good for you.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's good for you. Two Christmases.

[Craig Conant]

Where's daddy?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Did he move back to Boston?

[Craig Conant]

No, he went down the street. I just never saw him again. We never saw him again.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Did he have another family?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah, the bar. No, no, he didn't. He likes, you know.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He had more kids?

[Craig Conant]

No, no, no. Three.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, so you were.

[Craig Conant]

Me and two sisters.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Gotcha.

[Craig Conant]

With my mother. A nucleus family that split halfway through.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

All within the same three years cuz she's Mexican.

[Craig Conant]

I. My sisters were close. I'm five years.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You're the younger or older?

[Craig Conant]

Youngest.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, so you got a little boy?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I got. Yeah, I got cool childhood and the old gangster cousins showing me like AMC breed. Tupac Zapping Rogers, Wu Tang. I'm a little kid. Oh, I'll show you my cousins. You wouldn't even believe, bro. They're white or brown. Isn't that funny?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, they're all white as. Yeah. One of my one side of my phone doesn't it looks like I'm there to drop off at family dinners like you there. You guys the help like. Nah. Dog access, my aunt's house.

[Craig Conant]

My white side. Straight up golf scholarships to college. And then some of my Mexican side. Not all of course, just straight gangster LA baby. But that's my cousin Groucho, fresh out of prison. My mother took him in. And that's me as a little kid behind him. Oh, I love fun. Right there. Can you see that big as his body?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh,

[Craig Conant]

he looks like he's straight out of the little home homies machine figurines.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

One of our homies. That's exactly how we describe them.

[Craig Conant]

That's some early 90s gang banging.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Didn't you try to collect them? There's not all of them are in the same. You can never collect them all, dude. Five of the same one in the machine.

[Craig Conant]

I just had a few from Pick and Safe.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I got it from Spoofeles. Yeah, my whole white side of the family I've never met is from Massachusetts too.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

How random. Yeah, place called you tell me. It's a. They're all rich. It's called cherry something.

[Craig Conant]

I never went over there enough.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Okay. I don't know. I just know that they don't like. They don't with us.

[Craig Conant]

We visited some and it was lovely. A lot of rivers and creeks. I'm like what you guys get pawns? They get pawns over there?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

We just have gang fights in our years.

[Craig Conant]

We got Grouchos.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, for real. He lives there. He just got Out. But he's gonna stay with his mom soon. As soon as she gets back from Mexico.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate. Sounds like east la. And I'm from Central Valley.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Oh, nice.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You know where that is?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'm from there. A little.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Town you see on the freeway.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's fun.

[Craig Conant]

I drib. Buy it a bunch.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

For sure. On your way to make money at big cities.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes, dude. You stop, get gas, go. This place sucks.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And you keep driving. Okay. Sorry. You've been doing it for seven years. It looks bomb as you do it in your spare bedroom. Question. I have a bunch of. I know you tell a lot of stories. So do I. So I want to. I want to.

[Craig Conant]

I got so many stories.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Isn't it fun?

[Craig Conant]

It's too many. I'm tired. God, I am learning my lessons.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But also, do you notice the older you get, the less wild stories you have and more generational. Pissed off.

[Craig Conant]

I got a relapse again. I got to get. I need. I need. I need some juice. I'm running out. You can only tell. Tell your story about being raided so many times. I need a new raid.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Start doing stupid, dude.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that's a good movie concept. Guys, just like. I'm going back in. Guys.

[Craig Conant]

I'm back. I'm thinking. I'm back.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Hit me.

[Craig Conant]

Dm, it's time.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Okay. I want to know your best mushroom trip story ever.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, dear. Okay.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You rubbed your head for the memories. I like it.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Open up your third eye.

[Craig Conant]

There's so many, bro. But I just remember being on mushrooms at Coachella and just being on the same wavelength as. As the music. And I would walk and it was just like Dracula. Whatever. I was on playing the piano. Like Dracula. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. No, because I'm remembering it because I would flow with the music on mushrooms and it was like I was walking and dancing in sync with life itself in flow state, giggling and laughing. So much so that it was attracting other people. And they're like, hey, I want what you're on. And I was like, get away from me, man. I'm vibing, you know? Yeah. And then just. Just like I was riding a wave of life. That's a joyous memory. I also ate a like a quarter of mushrooms. I ate six grams. Almost a quarter. I ate six grams when I was 16 years old. I couldn't been more than a buck 40. £140. And it was too Much. And the week before, we had tried an eighth. We were experimenting. We tried a gram, then a half eighth, then an eighth. And we were traverse teenagers in the mushroom space, you know, and then we get a new batch, and of course, the time we eat more, they're like double strength. They're stronger than the first few batches. And everyone's like, hey, these are different. And that's when me and my Buddy Travis ate 6 grams on an empty stomach as teenagers. Holy. Some reason vegetable, bro. We're at the park next to my house. I, I, I was on this bench, this wood bench, and I was just stuck. Just stuck. Just galactic space, you know, you take off. Yeah. Oh, those dragons flying out of trees. I projectile vomited. I just went like this. I sat up and I just puke like the Exorcist. And then my buddy said, oh, no, I'm out of here. And he ran. And I didn't see him for like, five hours. And then heard he was climbing a fence over there. He was bugged out too. And then this family saw, and it was like this poor family had, like, one of each kid, like, all sizes, like, small, medium stickers, large. I did it the wrong way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just holding my tummy, I was like, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This like a movie, bro. It was too much. It was poison. So I just, I just got rid of it. And I was like, oh, I feel better. And I just sat on that bench for, like three, four hours. And then I finally was like, okay, I could move my legs and get up. My ass was numb. And then I. Yeah. Rejoined the crew.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, everybody's still at the park.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, we're. That was like, everybody's in their own

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

section of the ground.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah. That was like maybe 12 of us. We had a big mushroom party of teenagers at the park.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

We all safe with 12 people.

[Craig Conant]

We had a bunch of mushrooms. No, we all split up, like, within the first half hour. Like, everyone ate different amounts. Me and this other kid, we, we went there. Most everybody had eighth or a half eighth. And some people stayed together. So, you know, it's.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, it's a trip.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Yeah. One of my buddies, I think, ended up at, like, a tweaker pad in Linwood, and they were taking apart clocks and.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And he get lost.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, that's. He could. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I never go into a stranger's house, especially on drugs.

[Craig Conant]

He just kept going. Yeah, he just kept going on adventures and, and got in the wrong car, you know, It's LA got in the car.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

We live in a small town, dude. I'm like, oh, I know that person. And that person. I should hide. I would never get in someone's car. That's insane.

[Interviewer]

Were you messing with other psychedelics? Too heavy or just the sh.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, we did acid. Oh, acids. They're gonna get mad at me, but it's too. Too strong. Too long, too. You know. These make you go trip 18 hours and strong, at least for me. I only did it like a handful of times. I kept it minimal. I like the mushrooms more. Just something about I never knew who was making my acid. And you always hear bad acid.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Exactly.

[Craig Conant]

Ruining a human. So I was like, I don't want that to happen. And I've seen it happen where they're a little, you know. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Still.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That was 20 years ago.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. So you're like, I'm good. I was scared of it. But if you, like, got a rich scientist in Malibu making it, I'll try.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'll try Malibu. A Clockwork Orange trip. Yeah, I'm down for that.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Malibu acid. Yeah. Downtown la. I said, no, no.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Gonna end up a vegetable. No Walk around with no pants.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. I end up on skid row, dude.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Every time I see some skid rope, you'll go. I would like to trace you back to the moment it happened. When I first moved here, I lived downtown. And there was this young. Young ass dude, kind of strung out, but not too bad. And then over the course of the year, I just saw him turn into a shell zombie.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The last time I saw him, he had no. Almost no clothes on. They were like tattered. And he was mad no one would give him money. And I didn't recognize him. And then I realized half his face was like, eaten. Know that drug they do that Croca.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, that's that. It's the devil in his booty hole, bro. Right there.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Anyway, you. I saw this guy the course of a year in my. My apartment just decay. I'll just stick with the mushroom.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, you stick with the mushroom. That's why I tell people, don't go to downtown la.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I had to park on skid.

[Craig Conant]

You just see Two Face.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It was bad.

[Craig Conant]

You had to park on skid Row near it?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, no. I had to park on it the other day and walk four blocks like an idiot.

[Craig Conant]

What?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

We talked about it recently.

[Craig Conant]

There's lots.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I was in a lot. I parked in a lot. I had to go to a spot and every. It was a concert. Every single. Oh, everything was Taken the only spaces that were open, there was crackhead sitting, like, right next to it. Yeah, I'm good.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. I'd be Ubering. I Uber to Sophie Stadium. I didn't want to deal with parking. I Uber. Yeah, But I do both. 50. 50. It's hard. You don't want to get stuck in that. But you want your car and then get weeded.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Ubers.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, you can't. You can tip. You get the Uber. You know the trick. You go to Sophie Stadium. Everyone's waiting the half hour for that clogged Uber. You just walk to the end and say, cash, what's up? 100 bucks. They take you.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

Off the books. We're dudes. We're dudes.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

There's.

[Interviewer]

It can happen.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I mean, but I'm pretty big. If you could kidnap me. You're strong.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You're so strong and determined. You really, really, really wanted my. My. Whatever I have. You loved my shirt.

[Interviewer]

Like, your dedication. I respect it so much. You got me.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, for real. Someone's picking me up. I'm like, all right, you got it, dude. You picked my whole body up. But, like, I can see, like, they picked up Rocco. Like, yeah, yeah. He's like, 150.

[Craig Conant]

They get me real quick. By the back of your neck. Come here. Hey, it's Halloween.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

100 bucks, man.

[Craig Conant]

I'm 5 10.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What's up, everybody? Just want to say a special shout out to the sponsor of this episode. Thank you to Puffco. If you didn't know, they dropped two brand new colorways. Brand new everything. Let's talk about it right now. Two new colorways for the Peak Pro Sapphire and Zest. There's a new pivot, there's a new box, there's new mouthpieces. And for everyone out there that's not a stoner, like, what does it matter? New colorway. Why do you get shoes that match your outfit? I saw the sapphire and automatically opened it up because it's awesome. And like I've said before, with Puffco, they make it easy to be able to dab anywhere. Puffco, Peak Pro Pivot proxy core. There's a whole proxy pipe kit. You could do dry, you could do bot water bubbler compatible. There's so many things. I have the wizard pipe in my house. As you know, puffco's dropping new products all the time. They just dropped the link. And if you didn't know what that is, it can go from your puff code to any rig. So people that complain, I want to hit my rig now. You can but still using the power of the puff coat. No butane necessary. And lastly, before I get out of here, Puffcon's coming up fast. Go to their website, check it out, get tickets. Going to be here in la. Two day event. I'm stoked. Last year we did the Ganis World records, biggest group dab ever. PuffCo is always doing something sick. So check it out, make sure if you want to come to the event, get your tickets now. Cuz they will sell out. Shout out to the sponsor of this episode, Puffco. Thank you so much. Back to the episode.

[Interviewer]

What about like DMT and like that? You down for that?

[Craig Conant]

I haven't done it. The shaman actually told me not to. Really? He said stick with ayahuasca. I've done ayahuasca 19 times, so. 19 times. Wow, wow, wow.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What do you mean? I'm very, I'm. I'm interested.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, do it, bro. I'm gonna tell you, do ayahuasca like 10 times, sprout out a kid, you're good to go, bro.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's what happened to you? I met some lady. For four minutes?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You want to move in? We should start a family. Actually. I don't like you. It's been three weeks. But you're pregnant. Yeah, just gonna happen.

[Craig Conant]

Just help me raise this kid real quick.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, I'm good. But for real, I. I talked about it. I do, when I do mushroom, I do big doses, you know, I like it, it's fun. But I've never done acid scares me. I've never done DMT. It scares me.

[Craig Conant]

DMT is 15 minutes. Ayahuasca is like four to eight hours, averaging at like probably five or six.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm with that.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, do it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I feel like it's okay with the earth. How did you first experience go?

[Craig Conant]

Here's what the shaman told me and it like made made sense. I'll tell you my first experience too and all that. But he said DMT is the new kid on the block. You know, ayahuasca is anywhere from 5 to 9,000 years old. It's OG. There's intelligence cooked in it. It's done fermenting, you know what I'm trying to say? And he said this is new and it's man made and it's few chemicals away from some dope, you know?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

From some dope.

[Craig Conant]

And he just said it's not done cooking the intel, you know, there's always side effects. The new item, the new iPhone's got bugs in it. The new pharmaceuticals got some kinks. To work out. It's like the new drug, the new kid, the block.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

And when he said it that way.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Makes sense.

[Craig Conant]

It made sense. I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's profound benefits with DMT too. And once again, I treat that kind of like acid. Like, who's making it? Where is this coming from? Is this some Joe Rogan dmt? I'll try that, rich people. Is this the snickle fits that my homie made in the hood? No, I ain't smoking that dmt. I. I want elves, not goblins. You know what I'm saying? That's a sound bite. I want elves, not goblins. But ayahuasca is DMT in an organic syrup form.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Drink it.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, you drink it. And it feels weird because it's in my acts, but it's all the little true bullet points. But we secrete dmt. You know that right? When we're born, dream and die. And so you go there you go. You go to the different dimensions you. You die and come back you.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Where were you at when you did it?

[Craig Conant]

The first time I was in the garage.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I would say, you better not have been in an apartment or something. I was in a garage, the adu of the house.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, the first time I was in the living room. The second time I was in the garage.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, man. In a forest, bro.

[Craig Conant]

I did it or something. I wish.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Because you had a shaman. I go, is his name Kyle?

[Craig Conant]

No, Connor. That's in my joke, dudes. I say like, dude, if your shaman looks like me, don't do it like you want to pull. You want a real. You don't want shaman. Conor. You know Conrad, anyways, no, we had the legit circle. His full name was Summit. We had some fools practicing medicine for 20 years. Plus there's also. I want to go to the jungle and do it. I just. I'm on the road a lot. I don't have the most time, so my shit's just like an hour outside of LA at a little ranch, you know? And it is in the garage, but they completely pimped it out and made it a beautiful space. It's like a remodeled clean garage that would be comparable to like a yoga studio or like a ballet dance, you know, like, nice, clean.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

When you say garage.

[Craig Conant]

Wood flirt. No tools. But I have. I have done it where you're not supposed to.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

To do it in a car while driving.

[Craig Conant]

Hello. Hello. Hello.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Still drive better than half these.

[Craig Conant]

That's right. That's right.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But first time you did it. You drink it.

[Craig Conant]

What? Oh, you drink it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Cuz the moment where you blast off and you let go. Like when I know I'm like, oh, I'm about to see something, I'll let go. Like of those big mushroom trips, what's the point? Like, what's that ayahuasca feeling?

[Craig Conant]

So I'm explaining my first experience and it's not this. It's different for everybody. And it depends on you and your level of cleanliness that your body is in and your level of being able to wipe your mind clean and be in a meditative blank state, to hop in the meditation, cosmic wave that is ayahuasca of consciousness. And because I say that, because the first night was more like. I don't know if you're familiar, but the birds chirp to the plants and the flowers to open it up. Like the first night, the medicine is tripping at you to open you up, to unlock you. And if you have walls up and if you're closed and if you're eating dirty because they tell you to prepare for this, you're supposed to eat soups, light meats, little to no meats, fruits and veggies, broth, lentil soup, clean vessel, clean water, no sodas, none of that. No head meds. You can't be on mental pills, whatever they're called, antidepressants, it counter, it doesn't work with the medicine, so you can't be on that. Oh yeah, you have to have a clean. And then. So they do the songs in the traditional church. The church I was going to, the Santo Diami church, they play hymns and songs and it's non denominational. You could bring whoever, just as long as they're positive light, you know, Archangel Michael, Jesus, that's who I roll with. You could bring in Buddha, baby. You could bring in Buddha.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

For some reason I was like, but

[Craig Conant]

you ain't bringing in that. No Lucifer. Get the out of here, dog. Anyways, they sing these hymns that are from the jungle, usually in Portuguese. It's where this church originated, Brazil, in the jungle. And then it opens you up and if you're lucky, you, you trip balls and you go to heaven or, or whatever you want to call it, you know? Yeah, space, all of it. Whatever you want, whatever you want. You want to go to heaven or hell, you want to go to Jupiter, you want to go to. You know who's actually done it more than me is Neil Brennan. And he talks about it publicly. I ain't ratting him out. And I find that so Funny and fascinating. Like cuz it's some bro. Like cuz he. The reason I thought I brought him up is he went to like the big bang in the galaxy.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like oh, you could choose.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, you could choose your own expansion, bro. You could choose the stars or your childhood. You could choose heaven or hell. It's insane. You pretty much have the keys of the universe and you go wherever you want to go if you hop in the wave. But if you're strong minded, strong willed and eat pork and drink Pepsi, it's. The medicine is going to clean you up first.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

First before it starts.

[Craig Conant]

Before it starts taking you there. That's why it's important that you catch me. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So when I do mushroom, I go to pitch black. No music.

[Craig Conant]

Perfect. Yeah. You know what time blast off.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I've gone to so many different places.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, we've seen.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But it wasn't under my own accord. Like I was blasting off to places and they were taking me places. Yeah, down with them. But I wasn't like, hey, let's go to this time in 8th grade real quick.

[Craig Conant]

That's actually why I'm kind of scared of mushrooms now. Because they take you where they're gonna go. Where this is almost like you can really steer the ship.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It sounds so much more fun than mushrooms.

[Craig Conant]

But if you. The real ones usually go there to face it, whatever it is. For instance, like Iraq war veterans or, or veterans of war or anybody of extreme trauma will go there to face it and puke it out.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

There's a movie about war veterans doing ayahuasca. I met the guy yesterday actually. Long, like hair down the ear. He's Iraq war vet. Yeah, I guess he's the guy. He was telling me about the movie he's in. That's literally. I met that guy yesterday. I was talking about ayahuasca last night.

[Craig Conant]

It's a trip, bro. It's good, it's good.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It sounds cool if you can control things. I just want to blast off where I want to go.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like when I used to lose that dude, you can.

[Craig Conant]

I. I said this on my pod, but like never here. So you, you can go to figure out what to do next in life and like what do what? What do I want to paint? What show do I want to do? What script do I want to write? Or you could go to it to heal from childhood traumas. Like it's. It's up to you. You can choose. Most people are there to heal though. I would say 75 of the circle is there to heal and Then like, there's like a 5% of like, some people are healed. Some people don't have major traumas. Some people might have major traumas. They don't even remember and they thought they were fine. They're like, hey, what the is this? You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a trip. It's. But it's not. It's whatever you want it to be. You co. You co. Create with it. Sometimes people just tell me they just blast off and go into space and. And I'm like, I, I, I've never experienced that quite like. It's usually like, oh, I'm hopping in. But I have been there. I have like, died and reduced into the soil and came back as blades of grass or like just vomited snakes. And it's like biblical. You just, you're just puking and it's like, like bugs. And then you open your eyes, you're like, oh, it's just cute. But like, when you're in it, you're just like. Like venom, like drawing venom.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like, is it ar.

[Craig Conant]

You lose control of your body sometimes because you're. When you're in it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm just. My pants tripping.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't know if I want to. My pants.

[Craig Conant]

No, you don't. Your pants. You go to the bathroom, you make it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So like, I watch like the trip, you know, sometimes on mushrooms, I'm. You're fully gone. Where you're like, you guys aren't here. I'm gone. Or is it. I'm high as hallucinating and I can still see. Or is it come flashes of each.

[Craig Conant]

I'm always somewhat in the middle, tethered in reality. That's another safe thing about ayahuasca is

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

you're not like, your brain's not like, I've gone up and see my body and I'm gone. I'm had another movie. I come back, but I don't know.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, that happens.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's what I want.

[Craig Conant]

That can happen.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, that's what I'm looking for.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, you could. You could turn into a animal, bro. You could like all. Yeah, it's crazy. I've turned into like a. I've told you, I died and turned into soil, you know, you wasn't tripping about the 19 times.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You're serious about. I've done this 19 times.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, but I've only like, connected, connected. Like maybe like 12. You're not guaranteed to connect Soil.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's fun.

[Craig Conant]

That's just. Hang on. That was more. Wait oh, the. This. The shaman, he gives you the rundown on all this. Now that ayahuasca is somewhat legal and you can study it legally and put brain scan waves, you know, the little. They study the brain when people are on it. And it's the same brain wavelength as when you're dreaming, like, as when you're sleeping. So it's not dangerous. It's not. And he said if you're really tripping and going to hell, so to speak, and you could just go to the bathroom and flick on the light and you'll be like, awake and sober and not tripping.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, that's what I mean, it's like. It's not like mushrooms in the sense you're on the ride, but if you want to not feel it, you just turn on the light.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What if you turn them back off? Will you go back in?

[Craig Conant]

Well, yeah, that's what I mean. It's like. It's kind of like co create. I have gone, like, deep where they had to, like, bring me back. I was like, oh. Because I drank too much and went too deep and then I needed, like, assistance. I've only needed assistance once.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Where were you at in your state that you needed help?

[Craig Conant]

You know, just hell. The root. Oh, the root of it all. Yeah. I've never experienced nothing puking it out

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

super, super bad like that.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I. I took mushrooms on here with Josh Wolf the last time. Josh Wolf and I, we took a bunch of mushrooms every time he comes, but the last time I took too many.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I had to have my first bad, bad trip.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But, like, right when we left, I got home and there's these things telling me to, like, sell my soul and do weird.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Show me all the people. I'm not gonna say the names. People that already did. Like, he did it. They did it. Look at him now. You just. It's not a big. And I was in my room.

[Craig Conant]

Never, never sell your soul, bro.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Talking to him like, you think I'm gonna do that? Yeah, we had a whole conversation about it. But I saw faces of.

[Craig Conant]

You need some. Eat some Palo Santo and some rose water, brother.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Whatever OG gives me from east la, he blesses all these things. I keep them all over my house. Yeah, I have one in my backpack at all times.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, you gotta.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, no OG's on that.

[Interviewer]

Do you know about all that Santa Ria demons and people getting.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, I know that. I don't want to know about it. I roll with Jesus, homie. The out of here, bro.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

This is Like a little devious little boy. You Satan.

[Interviewer]

Speaking of pictures of you, I was looking at your Instagram and then it like suggested this old Facebook post from six years ago. And it said it was from six years ago and said six years ago I became sober or whatever. And you posted a bunch of photos.

[Craig Conant]

Was it my mug shot?

[Interviewer]

The mug shot was one of them.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

But then there was a photo I pulled up here. I'm hoping you can tell us what's going on here.

[Craig Conant]

I was just taking a shot out of a cup. Oh, no, we're playing beer pong or flip cup or something.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Looks like flip cup.

[Craig Conant]

And that's my garage. My old party house.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's a garage?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Damn, you got cabinets in your garage. Holy.

[Craig Conant]

That was after the remodel.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, that was after the remodel.

[Craig Conant]

Those are the kitchen cabinet. Groucho hooked it up. Yeah, we had some wild times. I. I think that was when I made really strong edible cookies and I put them out and I didn't tell anybody and people were throwing up and. And leaving sick. But the stoners had a good time. I also had. I also had a, like, glass jar. Good weed. And I remember running in the garage like. Like this. And I. I fumbled it and it flew out of my hands and I chased it like no. And it. Everyone just laughed. It was like. It laughed. Yeah, it was like a movie. It still was good. I picked it all up. No worries, baby. No worries. You think I'm not smoking glass? Look at that.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I smoked glass before, but not like glass.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah. I smoke both glass. I have to smoke that good biker glass. And I've smoked glass glass.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The first time I ever or the only time I ever smoked meth was an accident because they fools are retired where I'm from.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And they put it on weed because they're stupid.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. We used to put cocaine. Cocoa Puff.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, yeah. Cocoa, the chewy blunts.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

She did nothing to me.

[Craig Conant]

I hated it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I used to put it in the back of my cigarettes.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that worked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I used to pack my. Like a baseball player.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. I put in my. I put on my tooth hole right here and put it like a little.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Just sit there. A little 0.1.

[Craig Conant]

A little tobacco meth pack right there. Tooth.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I didn't go.

[Craig Conant]

We're just joking, guys. Don't you mad. You lose your teeth and your children. Stop it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, look at my dad.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, dad the tweaker. I can tell by that sadness.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like, oh, yeah, yeah, this guy now he was here this weekend. He's good now. Go to my days. He smoked crank my whole life, but I didn't know. I just thought he worked a lot. Yeah, he just sweat Mexican so he's always working. But no with, with. With coke and crank and meth. I smoked on a bowl of weed one time when I was drunk as I was 14 and I just remember the feeling of it is so dirty.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Dirt nasty.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, it's nice.

[Craig Conant]

Horny.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I didn't get that. There's about a bunch of dudes.

[Craig Conant]

Damn. Why is my dick so hard?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I projectile through it because I was

[Craig Conant]

drunk and I met. Oh yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I started feeling itchy inside and I just started. But when I didn't want nobody to know, so I would peek my head out the back sliding door. You know that quiet. And then I just did it by five times.

[Craig Conant]

Everybody knew though.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Everybody knew I didn't want anything outside, bro. No, I was outside. But everybody's like, I'm in the back sliding. There's my friend, I know room and I'm trying to let everybody know I'm in his mom's room throwing up in the back. It was disgusting. Yeah, but it wasn't willing. Was yours willing?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Who are you with and what?

[Craig Conant]

17, a tweaker full. And it's actually, it wasn't really willing. I was. I just am a down ass fool, you know? No, I was with this tweaker fo. I was training them at Trader Joe's grocery store story. I worked there for 11 years.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You're at work?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I'm training this, I'm training this tweaker fool from East Lo, bro. Pick his skin tweaker. And then we go to lunch break. I'm training him. I've known him two days. Two days I known this guy. I'm training him to stock the and run register. He's bugged out. He says, we're at lunch break together. We eat lunch, we go to the truck. Want to smoke bowls, right? Want to smoke bowls? I pull out weed, OG Kush, civilized man. He pulls out a pookie pipe, meth. And I'm like, oh hell no, bro. And then he's like, you want to hit this? And I was like, yeah. And I just went. Because I was at work. I'm sad, you know. I was like, phil, Phil, good and good. Feel good. High.

[Interviewer]

You went back into work off.

[Craig Conant]

Oh yeah. He's stocking milk so warm in a refrigerator, sweating.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You hit it's.

[Craig Conant]

And then I Liked it. And then I did it a few times, but then I got raided and there was a couple more incidents, and then I got sober. No, but I got, I smoked meth and got raided three days later just by accident because that was the wrong house. Like, it's crazy. I don't want to tell that story again. Anyways, I live in the back. I got raided. And the whole joke that I tell on stage, I was like, man, you smoke one meth one time. They're quick. Like, how they know, boy, this is Los Angeles, you know, they have real crime and criminals. They're not raiding you for meth? Once.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No.

[Craig Conant]

Anyways, it was just a lot of God showing me, like, hey, knocking it off, you know?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You know. You liked it, huh?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. You liked it? Yeah. Yeah. And then I, I quickly got sober and got into stand up, and here we are, baby.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So whoever you are at Trader Joe's, you. You started the wheels. You threw the first rock, dude. Good for you.

[Craig Conant]

No, I, I, I started the wheels. He put, he gave you the rock.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He stopped them.

[Craig Conant]

He stopped them with that rock I been rolling down that. I wanted to get sober for, like 10 years. Keep in mind, I still smoke weed. I'm not technically 100% sober. I just don't drink alcohol or do narcotics. I. With plants. Plant medicina is my rules, so it's of this earth. I'm down.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Okay, but real quick, someone offers you math, you go it, rip it. You're what, of age? You're.

[Craig Conant]

You're in trou. 26, 25.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But you say, I want to get sober already. What were you doing before that? You're like, yeah, let me hit that bowl of meth.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, I always like drugs. I was always a pill head. I love Vicodins.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, okay, there we go.

[Craig Conant]

And I like cocaine and alcohol. I like cool stuff, Girls, weed, mushrooms, acid, ecstasy, Molly.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

You know, everything you said is not that bad, but what's on the table.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. Fun.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. No pcp.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, I smoke PCP one time. That's enough for me. Makes you feel good. My head was too big.

[Craig Conant]

I'm on the moon.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

But I couldn't, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Land my steps like they were never going to touch the ground. And I felt like my head was too big.

[Craig Conant]

That's how they filmed the lunar landing. They weren't even on the moon. They were just on pcp.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The two pumping in smoke. No, I know you never done PC, but it does feel like you're never going to hit the floor.

[Craig Conant]

Some of my family did the pcp. They would pee their pants. PCP their pants? Yeah. Swear to God. That was the Mexican side.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The Oak is like, yeah, I guess it's different from. From meth. It's dirtier.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They like the cheaper. My dad does drink two 11s.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, no. There you go.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's the face I want, dude. 2:11. He smoked Craig. Like, what is he.

[Craig Conant]

What makes sense to as appetizer. Does he have king cobra?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like, my dad's favorite beer on earth is king cobra.

[Craig Conant]

No way.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

My dad's favorite beer, the only two beers I bought as a teenager went, I can't drink it. Like, even though I need it, I can't drink it. I'll be at a party. I'm like, I can't drink 2:11.

[Craig Conant]

That's not good, man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's bum piss. We call it bum piss.

[Craig Conant]

I thought my dad drank cheap beer. He like n like my dad.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Jerk. Taka.

[Craig Conant]

Keystone.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Keystone Light.

[Craig Conant]

Keystone Light.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Two for 18. Two 18 packs.

[Craig Conant]

MGD Miller Highlight. Hey, I like.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I like. I like Mad Dogs.

[Craig Conant]

Mad Dog. Mgd. I was mgd. I was a middle light. Mgd.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Mad Dogs, dude.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I like the red blues.

[Craig Conant]

Mad Dog 2020. I used to like that flat bottle.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I can fit in my bot pockets.

[Craig Conant]

It's different than the 99 bananas.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, I never had that.

[Craig Conant]

The gold slogger before.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Before. Super bad.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Everybody thought it was cool. I just thought was like, is it real gold? I don't want that. Give me some taco. I handle for.

[Craig Conant]

Well, now it's fireball. Right? Fireball is the cheaper version of gold. I was always a vodka whiskey guy. Well, tequila. And then I overdosed. And then I couldn't do it no more.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They had me on.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Vodka. My 21st birthday or first time drinking legally in a bar.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It was Gray goose. I thought it was cool. I'm like, damn. Just $8. That's expensive.

[Craig Conant]

Can you do it now or still?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I can. I just don't really drink.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, good. It's poison.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I just.

[Craig Conant]

I just do ayahuasca. Be a man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, there we go.

[Craig Conant]

I just got.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I got a bunch of psychedelic stuff.

[Craig Conant]

Jesus.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And we talk about if I can make it to Old Man 88. I'm gonna go to opium dens.

[Craig Conant]

Yes.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yes.

[Craig Conant]

That's my rule.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

When the hips give out opiums.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Hey, man, look at. This is us, man. This is what's going on right now.

[Craig Conant]

Would smoke a little black to our heroin. No offense.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm not tripping. I'm down opium. I Like being so up my. I can't move. I like that feeling of like.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, God.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I used to do a lot of mescaline. You're like mescaline.

[Craig Conant]

I. I haven't really partake maybe. Oh, I done a little bit like the.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like the molly cousin.

[Craig Conant]

I never did sassafras. You're into the alternative. I got tricked into doing that damn salvia and I hated my friends afterwards. Like, take a big box, smoke some.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So much of it.

[Craig Conant]

You like it?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, I. I hate it. We didn't have mushrooms.

[Craig Conant]

That's always had mushrooms. I hate salv.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Well, this is like 15 to 19.

[Craig Conant]

Okay.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

We used to buy salvia cuz like older guys, like, buy it for us. Dude, get the 100x. Don't be a. I'll give you. I'll give you some money on top. Because we couldn't have. We didn't have mushrooms. They would only come around every so often. And I tried Salvi with my Uncle John once, and I was in his backyard. I was 14. I went, what the is happening? I don't want. And then I tried the new one with a gas mask and we duct taped it to a ball and then we would rip it like that. And that's when I blasted off into cartoon. The Travelocity commercial. I was. This lady told me I was rich and for like 15 minutes I thought I had a new life. I was planning, like my mom. I gotta get her house. I was like. I was like 17.

[Craig Conant]

That's too much.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And I came back and I was so. And I thought I pissed myself.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Did you?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, I didn't, surprisingly.

[Craig Conant]

That's your worst fear, is pissing yourself. You always feel wet and you always see spots. You always check, but you're always dry.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Always.

[Craig Conant]

Every time.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's like a deal. I don't know what it is. Dude.

[Craig Conant]

My buddy is high school, this nice kid. Joe. I shouldn't name him, but.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Right.

[Craig Conant]

He didn't. He peed at my buddy's house, but he was like, tweaker full. You know, he's in prison right now. In and out of prison type of fella.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

And he clocked them and knocked him out while he's pissing. And he just woke up in a little piss puddle corner with pecker out. Your worst nightmare when you're tripping. You imagine that I pissed on a wall. I got knocked out. It was indoors. It was in his room. He peed in his bedroom. See? He went. He went. Bam. Knocked him out.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He's gonna stop the Piss. You just tell him to stop.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, punch him outside. And we're like. I was like, all right, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go watch Fantasia in my house, you guys. Wow, you guys are tripping me out, man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You should watch it so much. I love it.

[Craig Conant]

Did you ever watch wizard of Oz on the third roar with Dark side of the Moon? I've never done that.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I've watched the people on YouTube do it. When ebomb's world or before YouTube, when ebomb's world was out and they had that watch it at the same time because there's no Internet. I had to have a record or a CD and play that at the same time. Yeah, we'd have that kind of stuff all the time.

[Craig Conant]

You didn't have a CD player.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

None of my homies.

[Craig Conant]

We're all.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

My friend's house. Because we're all doing drugs at the one guy's house of the. You know, the parents are shittiest. Yeah, that's what you do. Yeah, they didn't have all that.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like you have dark side. My parents are drug addicts. You don't got dark. I have it at my house.

[Craig Conant]

They do, but it's all scratched from all the meth on top of it. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Do I still have CDs? They're so scratched. Yeah, but in those scratches there's residue that will never come out. No, it's just those drugs will never come out.

[Craig Conant]

You lick them from time to time. Give them a lick.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I used to have this Pokemon ball. I don't do coke anymore. I used to keep cocaine in it. Cuz my friends would get drunk. I go, yeah. And it bust open.

[Craig Conant]

That's so fun. That's so fun.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's only worked twice where it actually popped out, but it. The two times was worth it during the pandemic. Dude. Like, dude, it's world ends here. You guys do cocaine? I don't sell it, but I had some.

[Craig Conant]

Is that legal to say I hate coke?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You can. I hate coke. Like I hate soda and fun stuff and pizza. It's not good for me. I shouldn't do it.

[Craig Conant]

That's why.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's why I hate it.

[Craig Conant]

That's why I hate it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm like, oh, if I can just give up weed forever and every cool vice I have. Be like, coke is healthy. It doesn't kill you by. Yeah, give me some. Yeah, I'll.

[Craig Conant]

I'll be in the opium den.

[Interviewer]

Damn.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No opium den.

[Craig Conant]

I'd rather be putting opium in my tooth. Hole.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, back to that. Your hips go out. I say at 88, I don't know what I'm gonna go to Opium den. And if I die in there, that's not. I'm not bummed.

[Craig Conant]

What do you say? 81.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I say 88. Because the 80s, like, I was just setting my 70s. 85. Like, I've just turned 80. 80, like I'm about to be 90.

[Craig Conant]

Give me the drugs. Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like, 88's like, yeah, that's old. You're old.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You know what I mean? But 78, my full. I was just turned 75. No.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, give me time.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But opium, dental, Asian lady putting water in my mouth as I'm asleep for four days. Like, I'm down. No.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

See the first guest for sure.

[Craig Conant]

Absolutely not.

[Interviewer]

Only yes. He's like, no, I'm planning that, too.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, me too.

[Craig Conant]

Let's go early. I've always said that we are a cut of the same cloth.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yes. I don't know. I just think it'd be a real fun way to go out. If I didn't die, I'd come back. Guys. You guys are not gonna believe it. Oh, everybody's dead. Okay, never mind. Who am I talking to? Like, I'm 88, dude. Everybody's gone.

[Craig Conant]

I did ayahuasca with this old guy, like, late in his 70s. Having trouble getting up. Just drinking ayahuasca, playing music. No, no, it was awesome.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He's getting old.

[Craig Conant]

I was tripping out, like, laughing like this. We did it in South Central, too. And you heard noises,

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

People's houses.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, no, this was a warehouse. But I meant, like, the streets. It's not. You want to be on a ranch and, you know, out in the boonies, you want to hear. You want. If you hear. You want to hear a cow? Not automatic gun fire, exactly. You know, you're trying to talk to God and you're like, oh,

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

you hear scary things outside.

[Craig Conant]

But then I just laugh because I was like, if any place needs some good old Christ. Consciousness or consciousness, it's the hood.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, that's true.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What was the experience of the old man?

[Craig Conant]

Like, he's a badass. He's playing this ancient.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, he was the guy doing it.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, he was.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I thought you meant he was smoking.

[Craig Conant]

Old school. He's a pioneer in the game. He Dr. John. I think Dr. Something.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He Dr. In his first name.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That guy's not a real doctor. Dr. Thomas, man.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, Dr. John, man. He helped with the legalities of it and making it somewhat legal through churches and fighting the court system. So through certain churches it's legal, but, you know, the government can ultimately do whatever they want to do and break the law and be illegal criminals too. But technically, if you're in the right church. Vessels of ayahuasca, like the Santo Diamond Church that I was going to, there's a few others. It's in their religion, so you can't make it illegal. So as long as you're doing it in that space, you're. You're loophole.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Hell yeah. Also, what's the difference? What's. What's the difference of peyote?

[Craig Conant]

Peyote is cactus.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. What does that do?

[Craig Conant]

What's the effect mescaline is? That's peyote. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Awesome. I want to do some more peyote. I want to do peyote then. Mescaline's awesome. You guys ever dabbled?

[Craig Conant]

I dabbled a little bit. Like, I micro dosed it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The first time me and my wife hung out with just ourselves. We used to. We were just friends. And the night she's like, hey, I'm come over, hang out. I was like, nobody's here. She's like, yeah, just me and you guys. Oh, I already liked her. I didn't know she liked me.

[Craig Conant]

Right.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's the first time we hung out and I was selling mescaline and. And sassafras at the time. I had like 400 little tablets. And my homie's like, don't take more than 10. Like in the night, go. All right. We ended up taking like 15 each. We're all up. We stayed up all night. Colors have never looked the same since. Like, it's never better.

[Craig Conant]

Right.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The colors during that were the brightest I've ever seen in my life. I watched the first season of the Simpsons because she was churched out. She's not allowed to watch it. So you never see the. Yeah, we watched the first season. We watched John Goodman, Flintstones, the colors.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, it was sick.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Do a little Rick Moranis.

[Craig Conant]

Check out my gravel pin.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It was sick. And then we've been together ever since. But sassafras, like the melt. It's. It's. If I could feel like that all the time, I would.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't know. This is fun. Being sober is fun. I mean, I'm not sober, but.

[Craig Conant]

No, this. Smoke weed, California.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But it's just.

[Craig Conant]

I know. You mean, have you ever been 100 sober? Do you know what it's like? Can you do it?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Of course.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I do.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It all. I mean, sometimes I won't smoke weed all day because I'm doing.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Busy. But I've gone 50 days without smoking weed since I started smoking weed.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's like I'm not gonna do nothing.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Smoke weed for 50 days, you need little resets. I get out of hand with these damn edibles and I gotta stop and pump the brakes. Keep waking up with weed headaches.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

High tolerance, though.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So I don't really get too high. Like, I can smoke a lot, dab a lot, eat hella edibles and not get that up. Yeah. So for me, it's like. It's kind of just like drinking water at this point.

[Craig Conant]

It's functioning. Look how functioning we are. Some people take two hits of this and they're laying on the floor.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

We're just smoking a fat joint, talking ayahuasca.

[Interviewer]

What's your normal routine with it between dabs? Joints.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, you just.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You just started your desk.

[Interviewer]

What's the day look like?

[Craig Conant]

I smoke a lot. I try not to, but I'd be smoking, you know, because my rule is I love weed. And I think it's a beautiful medicine. And my rules in my head is it's like, you're not supposed to do medicine all day, every, every day. You know, I get it, I get it. But also, this medicine keeps me from going nuts. Keeps me from other horrible, stronger medicines. Like, I haven't drank in over 12 years. And, like, this helps. I cannot do it. I'll take breaks, but it's like a struggle. Like, I have to, like, make a conscious effort and be like, all right. And I'll be sweating a few days, you know, But I like to reset. And I. I like the low tolerance. I love it. Because I'll quit weed and then I'll come back and make me giggle. Make food better, make everything better.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

And then I'm just chasing that forever. And it's never the same. Like, you have to quit to get the reset, to get the giggles again, or you guys stop stupid amounts.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I have to stop smoking for like a month or two, I think, to get my reset.

[Craig Conant]

Reset? Yeah. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I smoke.

[Craig Conant]

You know what I mean?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Much.

[Craig Conant]

You stop for one to three months, you come back, it's like. Like, just like. It's like early sexual experiences.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Just like.

[Craig Conant]

What is this?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

This is great. I did a week off for a video. When I got back, I got pretty damn like high school high, where it kind of feels like the weight right here. But the next day I was right

[Craig Conant]

back Yeah, I know. It lasts for one to three days.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It doesn't do. I smoke so much ash doesn't do nothing.

[Craig Conant]

That's the problem to that. The hash makes your tolerance. So I got in the hash back in the day with the little. When it was like straight butane. You got heavy lungs from that. Yeah, we're doing hot knives and all that and like the little ceramic tiles and globes and everything looked like a crack ray. Like they just heat up the tile with the blowtorch, put it on Dr. Manhattan. Now we got the puff cos and the doctor dabs and all this. And it's wild. And I just got one. They sent me one Puffco.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, it's. It's.

[Craig Conant]

I've had it three days.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, so that's why you made you brand. Just started.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I restarted. I like, I. I never liked it because it makes my tolerance too high. And then I'll get good weed and then I don't get high and it bugs me, but I like to. I like it occasionally.

[Interviewer]

Which, which, which device did they send you?

[Craig Conant]

You know, all of them.

[Interviewer]

Oh, okay.

[Craig Conant]

They sent me the little one, the medium one, and the bubbler.

[Interviewer]

The core is super sick.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, that's what I've been pocket.

[Interviewer]

Like, this is the most convenient thing all time.

[Craig Conant]

It is absolutely convenient.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. Like for tolerance is like, I met Marty. I gave him mushrooms. They didn't do nothing to him, man.

[Craig Conant]

Some people are different.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It took him like 4 grams to feel something.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, some people are built different.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Kind of shocking. But then again, like, Marty took you like 7, 800 milligrams of field of weed too. Like much edibles. Like, I'll feel. I'll feel 800 milligrams of a thousand. But I could take 4,000. Like, for videos. I'll be up, but I'm not.

[Craig Conant]

Like, that's crazy.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm not panic mode.

[Craig Conant]

Joey D Is. Would take like 10,000. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's not fun. I saw a guy 5,000 at once. I. I did it, but it took me, what, three hours to eat it in that video. I saw a guy do a 3,5000. Shake just chugged it. And I'm like, I've been to the point where I'm blacking out. Like, I've done like 4,000, 5,000 where I'm blacking out and I've had a bad time. Yeah, I don't want that. So I'm like, let's see what a thousand feels like.

[Interviewer]

But. And he's talking about on videos.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, I'm only talking about when I'm doing video because it's like, I don't do this at my house. It's just normal every day. That sounds terrible. It's a challenge.

[Craig Conant]

It's too much.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's too much.

[Craig Conant]

It's too much.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's just the. The.

[Craig Conant]

Come on.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The sleepiness. Well, these are like video challenge videos. But the sleepiness is the worst part because I just feel.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

For two days, I just feel tired, and I'm not high.

[Craig Conant]

You just tired.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm just tired, man.

[Craig Conant]

He's tired.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I did the comp. The. The judging the other day. I ate all those edibles. I was tired for like a day. Yeah, it's different now. I don't know. I. I guess I'm busy.

[Craig Conant]

I took ungodly amounts, like, in my younger days because we. We don't know the measurements. Just make hash. Just weed brownies. But I know it made a lot of people vomit, and I know we hallucinated and passed out in a car, and I've never done that on anything else ever in my life.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What you were doing was throwing probably thousands of milligrams.

[Craig Conant]

Absolutely.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The hash oil, maybe the black.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, my God.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Put those in brownies.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, my God.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, you could taste it. They're darker in the spots, but I've hallucinated.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I hallucinated on them.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Have you ever hallucinated off weed?

[Craig Conant]

The old school.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Scary, dude.

[Craig Conant]

It is very scary.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's not. This is not supposed to do this, bro.

[Craig Conant]

We were in a mini van, ate these hash oil edibles. We pulled up outside my house smoking bong grips in my buddy's van because I live with my mom and grandma. And we all woke up in the car and none of us remembered anything. We're like, I couldn't make it out of the car into my home. The homie up front was puking out the front seat and. And none of us were like. We're like, that's too strong. Like, this is crazy. We just slept in a car.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But isn't it cool to wake up and go, that was strong. Yeah, it's kind of a cool. It worked.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't remember anything that's only happened to me a few times.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Smoking weed. We used to hot box my friend in high school. I've woken up in the truck, and we both look at each other and like, wow, that's the only time I've fell asleep. Yeah, but isn't it a fun time when you fall asleep and you don't mean To.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Not anymore. No. I used to, like. Now I'm like, nah, I want my bad. My cats.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

In that order. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Tolerance, the breaks. I just get bored. That's why I smoke weed so much, is.

[Craig Conant]

I know.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What else is there to do?

[Craig Conant]

Here we are. It's fun.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's fun.

[Craig Conant]

It's the ritual of it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I feel. That's how you feel. Full size chanting.

[Interviewer]

So how long you been doing stand up now?

[Craig Conant]

Stand up. Like 13, 14 years. I started. Jesus. I started this journey 17 years ago. I got arrested for the firecracker horse thing. I threw firecrackers at police on horses

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

and then they fell.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, well, that's what I mean. The raid, the meth. The raid, the firecrackers. No, the raid was before because after. I don't remember, but it was a lot of thanks all in a small amount of time.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Firecrackers.

[Craig Conant]

I was going to. I always wanted. And I just. My coworker was a comic, Brian Granger, and he said, hey, come to open mics with me. All the Just kept happening. The meth, the raid, the. The horsies. And then I said, that's it, I'm done. I'mma go. I'm getting. I'm getting it. And then I went to the Second City program in Hollywood and I did that program for two years. I graduated their school. Oh, and I went to ucb Improv and sketch.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Do you think it. It helped you a lot?

[Craig Conant]

Absolutely. Okay. I did that because I was terrified of stand up. To stand up. You're alone. So then after like three years in the improv sketch world, then I did stand up. That's why I say like 17 years in the game, but like 14 years at stand up. No, no, 13, 14. Yeah. So some cuz I was. You're scared of it. I would go over there and go like this. Because in improv, you're with people, you're safe, you're, you know.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

Ironically, now I'm scared of improv. You know what I mean? And I love stand up.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Craig Conant]

Switched so that now I'm like, what do you mean? There's no jokes.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, I. I get what you're saying, but 14 years ago, you made the switch because you're trying to dip your toe in. And then once you did it, what was the first show? I mean, not. Not an open mic the first time.

[Craig Conant]

You're like a real show.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

First five to ten minutes tonight, first

[Craig Conant]

real show I ever did was. I mean, it was a real show. But it was one of those student graduation. I took a lot of classes. It was a student graduation class. So everyone who took the stand up class, you did a show. At the end of it, you graduated. And it was at the comic store in the Belly Room. That was my first ever real show.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's where they threw you at.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. It was good.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Saying, what a place. Yeah. This is the first place I gotta go.

[Craig Conant]

The Comedy Store.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I love that.

[Craig Conant]

And I've been hanging out ever since.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Really?

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah. I got passed, like, it was like three years ago. 20, 23.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Well, that's probably why I've seen you a few times.

[Craig Conant]

It took 10 or 11 years to get past. Yeah. Can you explain what that means to be passed? Oh, everybody always asks. I finally came up with a good analogy. It's literally like being made guy in the Mafia. You're made man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They don't shoot you in the back of the head like Joe Pesci.

[Craig Conant]

Sometimes they do.

[Interviewer]

Meaning, like the club's calling you for like.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, Spots.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You're part of the gang.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Put your name on the wall.

[Interviewer]

What. What comes to mind when you think of how hell knights and hecklers and what's the worst.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's your good default, dude. You know what you look like when you do that? You look like the guy that pisses on the Chevy logo. Yeah, I like it, dude.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. That shit's crazy. And then the Fahima Noir. The very funny and great Fahima Noir. I love him. He's so incredible. Watch him. But he, he said this. He said when you get past, it's like, the difference is like, I don't box, but I understand the boxing world and the boxing gym. And like, it's like going to the gym, you're. Because you could perform at the comic store before you are passed. Right? You can, you can. But it's the difference of going to the gym as opposed to having the keys to the gym. He said that's what being passed is like. You got the keys now. You come whenever you want, unlock the door, it's all you, whatever. Before you're like visiting, you're still there, you're still boxing. And yeah, you're a guest, you're at the gym, but now you got the keys to the gym. I like that analogy that he said. Makes perfect sense because that is the difference because I was always performing there. But there's little perks. Like if you're not passed, you can't sit in the paid regular seats. Little teeny are those in the back. You're in the back bar. You still can. Just because I was like family. It's called friends and family. That's their development process. You're in development and you're put on the friends and family list. So you're like, you know, you're a capo, whatever. I don't know how the mob really works, but, you know, you're the. You're the lieutenant. You're not. You just. You go up and it's the ultimate honor on earth and everybody wants it. They don't say that. They're lying. It's just a Mecca. People have bad experiences there. I understand they hold grudges and. But like, the Mity Shore would not pass Jerry Seinfeld. She wouldn't pass Louis ck.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, really?

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah. They were pissed for years, but now they go there because it's a great club.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They're both so funny.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, they're great. She's gangster, she's crazy. She's like, no. She told Dari Seinfeld, you're not going to be. I'm not going to pass you because somebody needs to tell you no. And it worked. He went and got mad and wrote Seinfeld.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It was weird before that. Yeah, he was. He's a great stand up, though. When he was young, he was great man.

[Craig Conant]

I know. But she oddly like new. Like, that's some genius. She missed you a few times. She would do some weird and, you know, make people wear overalls. I wasn't around. But you hear all these legendary stories

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

that people would wear overalls.

[Craig Conant]

Like people would hide from her sometimes because she might change your name and your look and you're like, I don't want to wear suits, you know?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, no.

[Craig Conant]

Like h. Be like you're Freddy Banana Head. You put on a suit. Yeah, yeah. No, I swear to God. Yeah. I don't know the exact details of the stories, but that's what I'm. That's what I'm thinking of a.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

She might be right, though.

[Craig Conant]

Her health started declining in her later years. And I throw no shade. I love and respect the great queen Mitzy Shore, but, you know, it was like that. That was when weird stuff was happening and like, put on a hat. I'm like, what? No, you know, like what?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't know.

[Craig Conant]

I wasn't there. But change your name. Yeah. You're like, what?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, that place is all right. Look it. I used. I've gone there so many times to see shows because obviously it's just fun. I've heard so many times. That. That place is haunted.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I haven't felt anything ever.

[Craig Conant]

I'll take you where it is, so.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, don't. Yeah, I did the Belly Room.

[Craig Conant]

The ghost. The ghost. They'll finger you.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Don't say that. I was in the.

[Craig Conant]

You did the Belly Room?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I did the Belly Room, and I was in the. In the green room. And I looked through the little hole. Like, I could see the main room from here. Yeah, I feel like a beeping dog.

[Craig Conant]

That's where the. The mafia. Because the Comedy Store used to be owned by the mob. And it said, we're told where the mafia would set up the tour and put the rifle up there where the hole is where you're looking through.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And shuffles during takeouts and.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, during their restaurant hours. That was like a showroom. They'd keep them there gambling, drinking, or whatever.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'd be pissed if I got sniped while playing poker. Yeah, I expect to get strangled by the mom that sniped.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, no chance. That's up. I'd be pissed as I'm dying.

[Craig Conant]

Spooky. Scary.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

All right. And then I went some. Somebody, like, took me through all the spots. I was lost when I was there. It's a little creepy. In the back hallway where it goes out, where people smoke cigarettes, where the kitchen's at.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I don't like that corner. Yeah, they opened up the right corner. It's way better. They remodeled it. You got to go back. It's so dope.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I just did it last month. They did it since last month.

[Craig Conant]

The new area, the to the right, the little corner behind the main room is where I'm scared. Spooky. They need an exorcist back there, man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Really?

[Craig Conant]

That?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Well, next time, I need to find out where these spots are. So I never go because that shit always with me everywhere I've gone. Ghosts love my ass. They love to let me know, like, we know you know? And then I'm sitting there like this.

[Craig Conant]

Get out your rose water, bro.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, when I do this now I go. I do this now. Leave me alone.

[Craig Conant]

Leave me alone.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Leave me alone. That's why I say out loud.

[Craig Conant]

Now you got to say leave me alone. Jesus Christ.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I do say Jesus. Jesus, leave me alone. I swear, my homie said, like, talk about Jesus. Go for real. Cuz I had my homies. Mom's a medium. Because my was haunted as. And he's just scared the out of me. Three houses I've lived in have been haunted as. They know I know they know I can feel them. Yeah, I know they're there. I've only seen one, but I've only. I know their are staring at me. I'm like, ah. I live in an old house for a long time, my grandma's old house. And then when I moved to my friend's mom's a medium. She knew what the was going on right away. My blinds just slammed to my roof one time and. And I'm like, all right, it's over. I'm moving right When I lose my apartment down.

[Craig Conant]

Sage and Jesus Christ.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Sage everywhere I go.

[Craig Conant]

Sage everything.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And everything anybody's given me that I don't with anymore.

[Craig Conant]

I get rid of Sweet grass, Palo Santo, you know, I didn't. I was. I always. Of course I heard of Jesus and I like the guy, but it wasn't until ayahuasca to where I was like, that's the. That's my dog.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Too. Long haired, two long hair.

[Craig Conant]

He was healing me. I was like, what the is that he did?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Over the rainbow. That's when I knew he was God.

[Craig Conant]

You know that pose in the pictures?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, they do cool poses, dude.

[Craig Conant]

No, when you're on ayahuasca, I was meditating and rocking and in. In the different dimensions and I. I was doing the pose, but pose you got to do. No, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Like, it wasn't. I wasn't intentionally doing the pose. I was just kind of meditating and it kind of happened. And it was all that. All the stuff in paintings. And whether I'm influenced by the paintings, I've stared at for years. But keep in mind, like, I'm not. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not. I don't know that world. I kind of was like hopping into a meditative state I've never experienced before. But with like no training. Like, you catch me. Yeah, like. Like I. It was an out of body experience to where like something's controlling my body and operating it. Like straight up ratatouille, for a lack of better words, but like ayahuasca or Christ consciousness or the. The unified field, whatever the. You want to call it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And you're like just doing some crazy and healing yourself on a cellular level. And then you just. Like a goddamn orchestra. It's. They're playing these songs and when they hit the. It's like a bar for Rama and everyone starts puking up all this and you're connected with other people, like one consciousness and you could feel homegirl's pain. She could feel your pain. And it's like a zigzag of connectivity, and we're just going. And it's nuts. And that's the price for admission. Are you ready?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm willing.

[Craig Conant]

Let's go. It was a trip. I did it with Blair, Saki, and Theo. They were there when I was puking. That one was scary. I haven't been back since.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Really?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So you've been to a couple levels that are like.

[Craig Conant]

That was too much. That was too deep. That was crazy. I didn't enjoy it, but it was good. It was good.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

See? I'm very interested. And now I'm down.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, for sure. What you just said.

[Craig Conant]

If I can control things, it's all that. That you want to be like. You want to form like Voltron. And you enter your room, and those cucuis will. Because your light shines so bright, they can't be near you.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

See, we've talked about this before. Boom. The gold.

[Craig Conant]

Shine bright, homie. Shine bright. Your light is within Christ consciousness. Hey. Also to heaven. And hell is all. It's all just in here.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I can see that. Yeah. Purgatory is just being in a coma.

[Craig Conant]

Heaven is what you make it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I like the. We sure go with these voices.

[Craig Conant]

I like it. Okay, that's it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So with Iowa. All right, last question about it. If I can control everything, right. I can go anywhere. And you're saying I can go back into my own memories. All right, that's the last question.

[Craig Conant]

Sick. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Back to what we're talking about. You get rated. You smoke meth with a guy at Trader Joe's, you start doing stand up. Once you start doing stand up. The first time was a student show. And then you said you never left, and you've been doing it ever since.

[Craig Conant]

Yes.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So as somebody that's been doing stand up not long. Well, you know, what, a year now? I've done a few shows that aren't comedy spots, and I found that I have a horrible time.

[Craig Conant]

Okay.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Just making sure every time. Like, hey, okay, get off your phone. All right. Like, bars. And I did a wine bar recently of only Armenians. Turns out Armenians hate me.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, big time.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, they don't.

[Craig Conant]

Like they told me as soon as they.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I had a guy do this to me.

[Craig Conant]

My friend. My friend. He's not my friend.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

First row. Well, you know where we're at. We're the only people

[Craig Conant]

that aren't Lindale Mafia.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. The only people here that aren't our medium. Besides the Mexicans at Home Depot.

[Craig Conant]

I think Felipe is over here somewhere. How it did his podcast.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, he's a little further. He's a little bit further. Yeah, Yeah, a little bit further. Oh, yeah, he's close.

[Craig Conant]

Hey, so this is good. I have actually have amazing intel on this because I went through that for 10 years. They suck. And you don't have to do them because you already have a level of success and fame, so you could just run your own shows. But I've done just to practice. I was gonna say they sharpen your sword like you wouldn't believe.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, I wanted. I knew they were gonna. I was gonna eat, so I'm like, I need to do it.

[Craig Conant]

So I know we lived over there. That's the thing. That's where we cook. But comedy clubs are way better. I now only do comedy clubs unless it's like a good show. I have worked too hard. And it's not even that. It's like I don't even have time. Like, if I had time, I might do some Schnickle fits, as we call them. You know, the little. The. The ones. There's other shows that aren't at comedy clubs that are amazing. Like, don't tell comedy. And, you know, like, those are great.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, I'm talking about bars.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That we did. I did forever, bro. And then at a certain point, you just stop doing it. You'll know. I definitely would do it, though. I would do it for a couple years. I needed to know and do it a lot and know what that is and know how to corral people and then go to the comic clubs and never look back because you just get skills.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

You get the calluses on. On your knuckles.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's what I need. You know, I ate for the first time in front of a group of old Mexican women.

[Craig Conant]

You need the callus. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And as I'm up there, I go, this is how bad it is. Nothing will ever be worse than this. Yeah, this sucks. But then I got off stage like that. I needed it because that shit's. They a is on her phone in the. I made fun of her, but she's on the phone in the front row the whole. She let my grandma Dolores. So I couldn't. I couldn't say anything else.

[Craig Conant]

I. I probably don't need to say this, but don't only do bar shows. Do both. You gotta say two or three. Good one. Yeah, but it's good. It's good to do them pretty regularly, especially as a newer comic, because it's just diamond forms under pressure. And that's pressure. It just cooks you quicker.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. I did one for my first one in Fresno. I didn't expect.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, it's hard, but they're terrible.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's hard.

[Craig Conant]

They're terrible.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I just hear.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Cups of this and people talking orders.

[Craig Conant]

I've done a bar show with the. With the. With the game on the TV on. Volume. Volume up. Mute it. Can you mute it? Can you mute it?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. And what do you say? Like, I'm not cooler than baseball. Like, I was performing with my. That was a. That's exactly right. We suck compared to this game, dude.

[Craig Conant]

During the Pandemic, I performed on a boat outside on the top of it in the bay. Viewing this Golden Gate Bridge with the mic. I was like, I can't compete against that architecture. Like, what the. If I got to say that's better than that.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, start saying facts about the bridge.

[Craig Conant]

M. Night Shyamalan built it. That's the wrong guy. I think that's the direct.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's the director, the guy from Signs.

[Craig Conant]

Hans Delbruck. Just making names. Abby. Normal.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yo. I went to San Francisco last week. I haven't been there in so long. When's the last time you went?

[Craig Conant]

I'm going next week.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

So much nicer than it used to be.

[Craig Conant]

Thank God.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Because remember ten. Ten years ago was the. And eight years ago turned into. Yeah, four years ago as hell.

[Craig Conant]

I used to go. My childhood. In my teens, in my 20s same,

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I used to go. That was. We're going to the city. We have the best. What? We're glam Chowder.

[Craig Conant]

They got a three story forever 21 in a Virgin Records. Let's go.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, I don't know about that.

[Craig Conant]

I was a little.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I was too little for that one. I used to go. And then when I got old enough to go with friends, I was just doing drugs. So it was always just hit me. Hill.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Or Hate Street. And then back and forth between that McDonald's where all the tweakers are. Yeah, that one. It's so nice. We did. I did Cobbs last weekend.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's so.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. It's so nice.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I saw no boat. No. No. Nobody shooting.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, thank God.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

And then I went like two miles away. And that's where it's at. Yeah, they pushed it into one little section for the freeway.

[Craig Conant]

Good.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. Dude, it's. I walked to the club.

[Craig Conant]

They just need to go by and do drive bys now.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

These guys used to be artists.

[Craig Conant]

Nah, take them out, man. They're gone.

[Interviewer]

What's the chance they actually like.

[Craig Conant]

That was a joke, guys. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

[Interviewer]

But they clean up LA for the Olympics. Could that actually happen?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

LA will look like.

[Craig Conant]

Where do they put. I always wonder.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They're gonna put them in Central Valley.

[Craig Conant]

I don't know.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's when they sent them like 10 years ago. Remember the influx? We got like 14 or. No. 4,000 homeless in our town of 80,000 all one strip. There was a homeless tent we called Tent City. I wasn't allowed to walk over there no more because it was where I go to school.

[Craig Conant]

Just put them in the desert. Why not give him some water, Pray.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Film it like Mad Max.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoever makes it out gets another water.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, for real. They're just gonna send to the Central Valley.

[Craig Conant]

Man, that's so up.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

It could fix them.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Most. You can't. Most are. Most are too far gone. But some can. Yeah, some can. Then you'll see them in three years with brand new teeth with all one shape.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You ever see those guys? That used to be their name.

[Craig Conant]

Kamala Harris. Oh, call back.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, yeah, she's. We don't do politics because we don't know about it.

[Craig Conant]

I don't either. I just make fun of her horse face on all sides. Trump too. That mop top.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Do you. The one guy we do talk about is. What's his name? Gavin Newsom. Sucks.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, that guy. That. Okay. See, I have the same stance on all of them.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Exactly.

[Craig Conant]

You all.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You need your own little wall on Instagram. You need that right there. Second of the hand.

[Craig Conant]

I roll with Jesus. Jesus is my governor. I win.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Even though he's not a.

[Craig Conant]

That guy's born here. They all stink.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Wasn't even born. Yeah, I remember when we came. We did the groundwork for our. We have a. UC Merced. They did the groundbreaking. And what was the guy's name? The. Paul. The governor of California before Arnold. Come on, big talk. John Kerry. His name.

[Craig Conant]

Pete Wilson.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't know. Anyway, he was there.

[Craig Conant]

Wilson.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

He was there. I thought it was gonna be Arnold. I was so excited for the field trip. Like the governor's gonna be. It was the ex governor. Are you kidding me? I thought Arnold Schwarzenegger was coming to school like this is. And that's as far as I go with politics. Yeah, they let me down.

[Craig Conant]

Ah, no, that's how it sounds. Cookie. Cookie.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's Cookie Monster. It went to Cookie Monster. And it wasn't too far.

[Interviewer]

I'd be pissed if they could have just beat up LA this whole time and just took the Olympics.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They will. LA would be spotless as soon as the Olympics come.

[Interviewer]

But then it'll go right back.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, well, more security in their AI. Little dick, a little pecker. Now they install all these cameras and.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, like Vegas.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Anytime there's Olympics or just. Just too much security, which is good for security, but, you know, that's not what it's used for. These have speeding drones now. Speeding camera drones to catch you in Beverly Hills. I know the guy that they flew a drone over his house and said, hey, you got to trim that tree. Or, you know, I swear to God, right now, right here, right now. That's why I'm like, I don't like where we're headed. The drones.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You're telling me that the drones spoke to him?

[Craig Conant]

No, this drones ratted on him to the city. The drone.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You meant the drone came over, said, hey, cut that head.

[Craig Conant]

No, the drone filmed it. The drone film. Well, as we're not far off from that. The drone filmed his house. They told the city. The city sent him a letter. Trim your tree or you're gonna get fined. And he's like, where the this come from? That, like, the drone up above. Here's the video. He's like, what?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Total Recall.

[Craig Conant]

What?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I don't like. That's like demons.

[Craig Conant]

Right here, right now. Right here, right now. That happened. Real story. Do a comic. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if he wants me to name him, so I'm gonna leave him anonymous dates.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Where you gonna be at?

[Craig Conant]

I'm at Cobbs Comedy Club. Oh, that's gonna do it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

This weekend.

[Craig Conant]

Next weekend. June 4th and 5th, I believe. 3rd or 4th, something like that. Dot com, come get me on tour.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

There you go.

[Craig Conant]

I'm everywhere.

[Interviewer]

Ontario, Charlotte.

[Craig Conant]

Thank you.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, again. Tempe, Pasadena, Bakersfield, Calgary. Going to Canada.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, everywhere, man. I've been everywhere, man. Corpus Christi, Austin, Texas. Come get these Ayahuasca jokes, homie. Jesus Christ.

[Interviewer]

You're booked up through the rest of the year?

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I'm tired. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Wait, are you an adult? Do you have a sleep schedule?

[Craig Conant]

No. Hello? No. I don't know why I'm. Give me the dab. I'm getting real weird, man. We're going to turn into Leather face. No. Do you have a sleep schedule?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I just started three days ago.

[Craig Conant]

I just. I tried. I do. Stand up. I have to.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, I'm trying to, like. To, like, hey, no matter what, go to sleep at this time. If I can. I started Three days ago.

[Craig Conant]

Dude, did you already take a dab?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I got this.

[Craig Conant]

Did you already take a dab?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, I'll take a bunch. I'll just give you one.

[Craig Conant]

Okay. Is it already going? I have. I don't.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, whatever. Buzzes, you just inhale. But you got to put your mouth all the way over like that. There you go. You don't have to finish if you don't want to, but there's a lot in there. You'll like it.

[Craig Conant]

I'm not falling for that Deep Throat Drake.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You gotta pick it up with no hands.

[Craig Conant]

Ooh. You know it's good weed if it gets you doing Mark Bronson.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Mark Bronson.

[Craig Conant]

That's what I was singing right now.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, the song. I don't know who that is.

[Craig Conant]

It's Night Dog singing Mark.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You got me. I usually know everything about songs.

[Craig Conant]

You know the Ghost Face Killer, Mark Bronson mix.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Well, that's. Oh, no. I don't know who that other guy is. Mark Bronson.

[Craig Conant]

He's the super producer. Clicks up. It's too much, man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Before you flash up his face. What's your favorite three movies? Who? What's your favorite three movies?

[Craig Conant]

Goonies.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Great.

[Interviewer]

One, two, and three.

[Craig Conant]

True Grit. True Grit with Jeff Bridges.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, okay. Keep going. The Goonies.

[Craig Conant]

Dude, it's too hard. Three. Oh, come on, man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Three that you could watch all the time. That's easier.

[Craig Conant]

I've been watching Dune a lot lately. John Wick. New Dune.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Okay. I haven't seen it.

[Craig Conant]

John Wick. I watched for like three years. First one, Lord of the Rings. I've watched for like five years. I watched movies. Like shows I just watched.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, I watched SERINFELD the past nine years straight. Every night. Seinfeld. Oh, signing on every.

[Craig Conant]

I was doing Seinfeld. I switched curb.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, yeah, I do that. And I slid back to the office.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Always sunny every couple years.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Let's see. Top five Pulp Fictions up there.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

Perfect movie.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's a good one.

[Craig Conant]

There's so many, man. Oh, man.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Just a while. That's fine.

[Craig Conant]

That.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

That's three right there.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. That's the short list of who I am. Dumb and dumber. Cheers. Did you hear that?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

You good?

[Craig Conant]

I know some. I'm sure you do too, but I know some amazing glass blowers in the glass blower community. I grew up with them. Is actually how my whole loosey goosey driving on mushroom story. The fool's name is Adam Hoovery and he makes insane bongs that cost six figures. It's insane. Lend less There's.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What's the glass company called?

[Craig Conant]

Hoobs. Hoobs Glass.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Oh, talking about Hoobs. The. Yeah, Hoops H. Yeah, yeah, I know who you're talking about.

[Craig Conant]

My whole driving on mushroom story. My supervisory video is his car. It was his car. And he's a world renowned glassblower, bong maker and all sorts.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Matt Robertson.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah, I know Matt Robinson.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Exactly. I know you know him too. So yeah, I was just out there doing.

[Craig Conant]

I knew hoops since middle school. High school. He went to my middle school. Yes, I knew him before he blew glass. He knew before. Before I did stand up. It's crazy random. Yeah, there it is. Oh yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Stupid. Because you say six figures. I'm like, wait, there's only about five dudes that do that.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. I don't even know all of his business. But I just had him on the pod and he said I have sold some pieces. Six figures.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Craig Conant]

And, and, and that's amazing. And look at it. And then of course he has more small ones, just cheaper price for the regular folk that doesn't want spend a mortgage on the bomb.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I have a friend that what before he had kids he had a house. A half a million glass. So stupid.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Like some pieces. I know one guy that has a couple million glass.

[Craig Conant]

It makes me nervous. Yeah, it makes me. It now makes an enjoyable experience. Give me anxiety. I'm like, hey, I don't want to put out the one. Put out. Put out one $5,000 bong. Yep, right there. I like that one.

[Interviewer]

That's where it stops.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

If I break it, it stops. I'll pay you back eventually.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

The other one. I'm just going to have to block you.

[Craig Conant]

I don't.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I'm good.

[Craig Conant]

I'll get you a new bong. That's not $5,000, you know, if I break that one.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I agree.

[Craig Conant]

Here's a $201.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, I just got a little giraffe from Matt the other day.

[Craig Conant]

It's a water bottle with a little.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

They make those heavy ones, they look like water bottles.

[Craig Conant]

That's.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

It's fun, but it is fun. I have a crushed can pipe that's all glass. Looks sick.

[Craig Conant]

That's fun. Now that's fun.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I like that.

[Craig Conant]

We used to smoke out of cans.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

First time I ever smoked was out of Mountain Dew can. Ever. What was the first time you smoked out? What was the first time you smoked weed when you were a kid? Was it out of a can or was it proper?

[Craig Conant]

No, wait, I think a shitty little metal pipe I remembered maybe a joint on it, like a shitty joint. But yeah, we definitely did cans a lot. Made little bongs, little water bottle bongs with Gatorade bottles. Yeah, yeah, learn. Learn to use metal real quick because you would melt the plastic and just be huffing it.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, we used to.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah. Put a little gum around it to seal it. Like real ghetto.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

I just put date scotch.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, I used the whole thing.

[Craig Conant]

Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

But I would dump it. I was so afraid my mom would kill me that I would trash it every time I was done. Yeah, I'd make two a day. Yeah. Like an idiot. Could just hit it.

[Craig Conant]

Just one week. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, there was a graveyard. My grandma's on the other side of the fence. We live in the country, so I dump them every day.

[Craig Conant]

And there was poor girl, the guy mowing the line. Where do these bongs keep coming?

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Exactly. It got sold and I went, oh, someone's going to find my graveyard.

[Craig Conant]

It's a litter of bomb. That's hilarious.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Somebody recycled that.

[Craig Conant]

All right, thank you, bro. Much love. Namaste.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Before you go.

[Craig Conant]

Hold on. Yeah.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

What? When does your show come out?

[Craig Conant]

My special.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

No, when is your show? Every time. Like your. Your podcast.

[Craig Conant]

Oh, my show comes out every Monday.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Monday.

[Craig Conant]

Monday's community service podcast. I should know that And I don't. Noon a.m. noon a.m. something. Midnight time. Just look it up, man. It's a good. Hit the like button. Subscribe. Hit the button. I don't remember when it comes out.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Well, Craig, thanks for being here.

[Craig Conant]

That's good. We. I'm smiling a lot.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Thanks for being here. Appreciate you.

[Craig Conant]

Much love.

[Thomas (Podcast Host)]

Thank you very much, everybody. Website will be linked in the description for tickets. Oh, this high. All right, Marty. Appreciate you. Appreciate you, sir. All right, guys. Thank you for being here. Have a dope ass day. Perfect. Perfect. I

[Craig Conant]

perfect.