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- [00:00]
A
Oh, you can. Perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Yo, what's up, guys? Welcome back to the podcast. My name is Thomas Dopa. Whatever you want to call me. This is my co host, Marty o', Neal, plus Chris.
- [00:28]
B
Cracking, guys.
- [00:29]
A
What's up, guys? How are you doing? Good to be back. Super stoked. Let's get start off the bat right here. We no longer care. What's this going to happen? Last week's episode was age restricted and we didn't smoke or nothing. So we no longer are putting an effort to appease this app. So here we go. The President is dead. That's the headline I kept seeing 19 times. He's dead. He's dead. Real quick, guys. Don't care what your political beliefs are. I don't care if you like a politician or not. What is wrong with people? You know how many tweets I saw you say, thank God he's dead. It's someone's dad. Jesus Christ, bro. You don't like his politics? Like, I hope he suffered. Like, oh, my God, bro. Jesus Christ.
- [01:28]
B
Or when he got grazed by the bullet. Bro had one job.
- [01:31]
A
One job. Dude, chill. It's not that big of a deal. Like, I hate him. I hate, like, dude, when people were talking about Barack Obama, you called him racists. What do we call these people? You just want horrible things to happen. That's terrible. Yeah, he get voted out. You don't like him. He's terrible. Go to jail. He's a bad person. Damn. You want him to die. And a lot of people, you don't know the facts. I don't care. It's still a human being. An American. I'd rather not have an American get shot in the head and die. I don't know. It's really weird. I've been seeing a lot of horrible things about even during the Biden thing. Oh, he should die. I hope he falls and, like, chill out.
- [02:13]
B
That's just standard. What I realized once, like, my kid hit teenager years, is that's just standard, normal baseline, like, conversation for people.
- [02:21]
A
Everyone's like, I don't. I don't agree with you. I hope you die. And I know a lot of people, you don't know what he did. There's all these arrests we're not talking about. We're talking about as a human being. You hear, like, he did. I hope he suffered. Chill out, dude. You know, he's got. Not even just him. They say, I've seen this about so many people.
- [02:41]
B
Oh, for sure.
- [02:42]
A
About anybody. Public, like, oh, yeah, I hope they suffered. Oh, they get what they got, dog. They're a person. Still.
- [02:48]
B
Somebody messaged me that when Cam was going in for surgery.
- [02:51]
A
What?
- [02:52]
B
I hope he dies.
- [02:53]
A
Oh, my God. That's just like a 15 year old.
- [02:56]
B
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like.
- [03:00]
A
I'm talking about, okay, full grown, like political activist people. Like, I hope he dies for what he did at the border. I'm like, dude, this been here for seven months, I think, or whatever it is. Everybody's responsible for it. Unless you're walking to the border and helping shut the up. That's like saying, I rescued astray. You went to the pound and said, let me fill the paperwork out. Give me the dog.
- [03:27]
B
Unless that fool was in a raging river.
- [03:30]
A
Yeah. And you, you got him in the neck and he pulled him out. You didn't rescue anything. You know what I mean? Unless you rescued a child from another country that was being murdered, you didn't rescue. You adopted a kid. Unless it's a Matilda situation, you didn't rescue any child. All right, we're moving to Guam. I always thought we had so much in common. I never understood you. My only daughter. I love Matilda so much. It's so bad. He just writes it off and let's bounce. Also, the cops are literally coming after him. You can hear the sirens and they go, let's make the airport. Have you been through security at the airport? You're not kidding. They all went to jail at the end of Matilda. There's no way they made it to 9 11. They made it. They live in Guam. You're right. They. They do. They do live in Guam.
- [04:25]
B
He was getting faced, but by the time the intervene police were even pulling up on the plane.
- [04:30]
A
Also, he says, my daughter's not gonna go to school. Who's gonna take the packages like a slave? Remember that? You go to school. Yeah, you're right. Five. You're five. You're four, six and a half.
- [04:42]
B
That movie is almost too dark for a little Emmy to watch.
- [04:44]
A
It was like, she'll love it. No, no. It'll open her brain.
- [04:48]
B
The dude was such a piece of to little Mato.
- [04:50]
A
But the only part where he's real mean is, I'm big. You're dumb. I'm smart.
- [04:53]
B
You're wrong.
- [04:53]
A
I'm.
- [04:56]
B
All that.
- [04:57]
A
I'm big, you're small. I'm right. You're wrong. I'm smart, you're dumb. And there's nothing you could do about it. I have a. I have autism. I think we're like, it's some Sort of like Rain man like thing. Because I told you the other day I saw somebody at a comedy show, looked at him and went, you were sitting in the back of a room with a laptop, kind of in the dark by a pole. You came to the Palm Springs event. He's like, yeah, yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I could see. And went right back to that spot. Like, what's that movie? Or was that game called where Jake Gyllenhaal played a fucking Jerusalem asshole? The kid or Jake Gyllenhaal played the fool with long hair and he was like, I'm ethnic? Yeah, it's a game. It's a video game that turned into a movie. Come on, man. Assassin's Creed.
- [05:48]
B
That's a game.
- [05:48]
A
That's a game. Where's Jake Gyllenhaal? Played in a movie that was a video game. It was Assassin's Creed. He goes like back in time. That's. That's my. That's my. My memory. I go, oh, my mom was hitting me. SpongeBob. I don't know. That's what was playing Orange Joe Dirt when he gets hit. Nutta maker. That's why dad made you nut a maker instead of Joe Dirt. That's how I feel. That's the movie replay. Some ethnic. Like Brad Pitt played in Troy. Some blonde man. There's a blonde man. Back in the Roman times. Was there?
- [06:29]
B
I think so.
- [06:30]
A
Not on that side of the earth. There's blonde Romans, weren't there? Yeah, I'm just not educated enough.
- [06:35]
B
Yeah, I'm too. Honestly, I don't like. Couldn't even tell you. What is Rome at, like Roman Greek.
- [06:41]
A
The guy from Little Caesars. Pizza. Pizza.
- [06:43]
B
Usually pretty stock white.
- [06:44]
A
That's Roman Caesar. Oh, that's a Little Caesars supposed to be. All right, I'm going sit this whole play out. Dude. I would. I would just blame the California education system on this one. They tried to teach me geometry, but I was just. I was just thinking about cocaine. I wonder what my life would be like. Honestly. Ready? Copy. Go. You never met April. Your music did. And you actually got it. Where would you be at? Where would you be living? You'd have a array of Steph Curry style children. You'd have a bunch of Steph Curry's running around with blue eyes.
- [07:24]
B
We'd be running full court y.
- [07:26]
A
Blue eyes, six foot three children.
- [07:32]
B
Yeah, we have enough for subs for. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I'd probably be in la run a full court.
- [07:40]
A
Yeah, you know, I'd be. If I never started Smoking like some dude in upper style of corporate American history. I mean, American Psycho without the financial background, I'd be going there. Where are we going? I have my suit. Yeah, I have to go pick that stuff. I would be one of those meticulous ass people. Because before I met Rosie, I was Danny Tanner. Every spec has to be perfect. I have to clean it. My house. Look. You ever see those, like when I grow up, here's my home. Aesthetic guys would agree. You ever see those, like slow pan. You can see the city in the background. There's like a video game. Everything's perfectly, that's, that's me. Everything has to be like click. So I would be one of those guys for sure. I'd have no children. Then I'd have a college degree because all I cared about before drugs was trying to get straight A's. I had straight A's. I was math student of the year. What a turn. Yeah, what a turn.
- [08:42]
B
Ridiculous. Like, legitimately. If I didn't meet April, it wasn't gonna end well. There was. I had a couple good years left. Like, honestly, it was such a blessing.
- [08:53]
A
And I Marty be a no regrets guy. Tat right here and he'd be smoking Marlboro Light. You got a Lucy. You got a Lucy. Marty be wearing lugs right now. Lug boots. Big brown lug boots right now.
- [09:08]
B
I never had a pair of lugs.
- [09:09]
A
I'm saying you would be now, now because you wore Tim's. But once you start like, oh, I'm not doing as good. Let me get some lugs. That's the, that's, that's the, that's the section eight. Tim.
- [09:18]
B
I, I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have, I wouldn't. I would have kept hustling, but it would have went down a dark path. I wouldn't have been in some lugs.
- [09:25]
A
I would have been in black air forces. Probably more Black air forces and soft gloves Dexter. But you know, to people that didn't deserve it. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I like to think about that sometimes. Go. Hm. I'm so glad.
- [09:41]
B
Thank God.
- [09:41]
A
Thank God.
- [09:42]
B
I just think that all the time.
- [09:45]
A
Mine would have been just like exponentially more productive and nicer and better of a human being. Thank God. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm good on that. I don't remember where we were. I don't remember what we're talking about. Oh, yeah. I had ADD and started talking about movies. Huh.
- [10:01]
B
Fun fact. I forgot to tell you. I filmed this week. If an actual monster. His name was Monster and he's a black Komodo dragon.
- [10:14]
A
I thought he was gonna say black in me. I swear to God, I thought you were gonna say black inmate. And I'm like, where are we going with this? Where did you film?
- [10:23]
B
I'm filming in the back.
- [10:25]
A
Wait, why did you have a Komodo dragon? Where would you. Where were you?
- [10:27]
B
I was filming the Lawrence brothers. Matt has a zoo in the backyard. Matt is a reptilist. He's got three tortoises. No, it's called like a herpetologist or some.
- [10:40]
A
A herpet. Let's say reptiles.
- [10:42]
B
That's why I switched it.
- [10:43]
A
Let's say reptilist. He's a herbologist.
- [10:47]
B
So, like, there's these giant tortoises and they're like 35, 40 years old, roaming around the racist.
- [10:53]
A
I don't like the races.
- [10:54]
B
They're southern. Anyway, they start kind of like. I noticed, like they. They fought. They start kind of charging the camera. You know, they go really slow, but they're definitely coming at the camera. And then I'm like, okay, he doesn't like the camera. All right, whatever. Like, it's a tortoise. And then he's got all these other big ass reptiles. Like, he's built into these to the walls. Like he's made a zoo. So I'm filming all of them and he's like, all right, let's feed monster. I don't even know what monster is because he. Monster's like hiding in his, like, habitat. Like, Matt's like, oh, I have individual micro climates going here. I'm adjusting the humidity for this one.
- [11:34]
A
But this one has no kids.
- [11:36]
B
No, he's got these. These are his kids.
- [11:38]
A
I know that we got spendable income is all I keep hearing. He has his own microclimate.
- [11:45]
B
He raises flies. He. He breeds thousands of flies. It's like one of those situations. I mean, like, he. So then he pulls out these little mice, these little furries. I mean, and I'm familiar with these furries because my daughter had a stretch of having a snake once. And I had to feed this fucking thing one time. And me, I had to thaw this fucking little mouse out.
- [12:09]
A
It was dead. Yeah.
- [12:11]
B
And you got a fucking force. Feed it to the thing and then it grabs it. I fell over backwards and it was a whole scene.
- [12:19]
A
My mom had snakes, but they were live mice. That's horrible. So up.
- [12:24]
B
It's dis.
- [12:25]
A
Why are.
- [12:25]
B
Why do people.
- [12:26]
A
They should be sitting there watching, going, I hope you kill that sn the whole time. Like, I hope you, you know, Sometimes.
- [12:32]
B
You got to, like, mush it up to get the snake to want to eat it. Otherwise, you get a starving snake.
- [12:38]
A
You know what? You should do that, dude.
- [12:40]
B
Okay.
- [12:41]
A
Piece of. Can walk with no legs and here with no ears. I don't trust that fool at all.
- [12:50]
B
So Matt's, like, inspecting these little mice. He's like, oh, the teeth look good. The butt looks good. He's really, like. He really raises these things. Like, he hatched all these animals from eggs. But anyway, then he starts dangling this little mouse out, and this Komodo dragon bursts out of his little den. And it's, like, way bigger than my dog. It's, like the size of a good little dog.
- [13:16]
A
I would hope it's bigger than your dog. Your dog's this.
- [13:18]
B
Yeah, but it's a. It's a Komodo dragon.
- [13:21]
A
They're big.
- [13:22]
B
And he's jacked. And he's like. That's, like, so casual about it. Like. Yeah, the bacteria in his mouth is actually super venomous and, like, tear your skin off. Yeah. And so I'm like. It's like where Rocco is right now. And I'm, like, right here with the camera. And then he starts feeding. He's like, oh, he doesn't like that camera. Oh, he does not like that camera. He sees his reflection.
- [13:46]
A
Sees all the terrible things he's ever done. Like a war vet. He's just stuck.
- [13:51]
B
Me being the G that I am, I stood there and got some good footage. But he was a legit. I mean, there. There was nothing on earth closer to a velociraptor than this thing. And it was a baby. He's like, it's going to get bigger than this whole table.
- [14:05]
A
Me and Rocco solve a lazaraptor skull last weekend.
- [14:09]
B
You did?
- [14:11]
A
Some homeless man was showing it off for money. We saw it in Miami Museum. Oh, but no. So you have lost rap. And I thought I just saw a skull. I'll kill a T. Rex. Can we talk about this? There's no way that's the T. Rex head. It was this size. That's it.
- [14:30]
B
Really? Was it a baby?
- [14:32]
A
No, it was a T. Rex head. It was the size of, like, a little less than a bathtub on the bottom. I'll beat the out of a T. Rex, dude. That's all he's got going for him.
- [14:46]
B
Looking super easy to choke out things. You take his back, it's over.
- [14:49]
A
Little his mom was a smoker and a drinker. That's the kind of arms he has. He had a bad. He had Bad mom arms.
- [14:55]
B
Fetal dino syndrome.
- [14:57]
A
Fetal dino syndrome. He had little baby arms and, and a big ass head. And no reading comprehension. I'll stab the out of that.
- [15:05]
B
Clearly no survival skills, dude.
- [15:07]
A
All I know is I'll hang on to its, to its mouth and it's going to be like oh, what the. And it's not like it's going to knock me out and I'm just going to poke his eyes out. Descended of a chicken.
- [15:19]
B
It's really. Yeah, it's a big ass chicken.
- [15:20]
A
There's a reason why there's dino nuggets, nobody. That was pretty good. Pretty good. All right. Right now I say that on stage, somebody gets offended. My mom was part dinosaur. Yeah, there we go. Like what kind of dinosaur was your mom? That's it. But no, not a velociraptor.
- [15:46]
B
All right.
- [15:47]
A
What is that? Pterodactyl? I didn't go to school, dude. I don't remember dinosaurs. Anyway, that skull was not impressive. Me and you with a right amount of rope could trip a T. Rex is all I'm saying. Last home down, I get one Mexican that rocks a cowboy hat in the daily. We lasso him. We get about 4 Haitian starving migrants because you know they love eating birds out of the street. And we come up like that's a descendant of a chicken. They're like what? I see the chicken wing but yeah, see his little arm? They're gonna start chopping his little arms. And then we have like, I don't know, dino nuggets. No, we have somebody come and just degrade the at him like they're talking, talking me rock are stabbing him in the neck. That's it. We solve world hunger is what I'm saying. They should do this in Ethiopia.
- [16:46]
B
All these problems in the Middle east right now solved.
- [16:48]
A
I don't know if there's the starving is the big problem. More of the bombs worthy of the building exploding under your feet I think is the biggest problem with them.
- [16:58]
B
Right.
- [16:58]
A
I don't think the dinosaur nuggets.
- [17:00]
B
I was driving up here today and I was just thinking I should really educate myself a little bit on what's happening in the world right now.
- [17:06]
A
Because that's what I did today. I didn't know about the whole Middle East.
- [17:10]
B
I have no idea.
- [17:11]
A
I don't even attempt to try to know what's happening.
- [17:14]
B
I, I, that's what I'm saying. I don't. It's too horrible for me. I know, I know the rest of the world is horrible a lot. I mean that's where I'm at with it.
- [17:21]
A
It's like, ready? You have a house. And I'm like, dog, before you lived here, like, the guy that owns this earth said, that's my house. All right, cool. I'll let you move in for a while. All right, you can move in for a while. And after you leave, come back in like, 50 years and try to claim my house. And if you don't leave, since it was promised to me by God, this house is promised to me. I'm gonna murder your family. And then you're like, dog, please don't. And then you're like, I control tv. I'm gonna murder your family and say you're a terrorist. That's what's happening in the Middle east right now. From the gist of what I'm getting, I am a Jew. My family is Jewish. And even I'm like, remember in Chappelle's show where they're showing. They're showing the yin yang twins. And he's like, even I'm embarrassed. Oh, no. Remember, they're doing the. Doing the monkey noises. And Shayspell's like, even I'm embarrassed. That's how I feel about the Middle east right now. But, yo, my family's Jewish. Even I'm embarrassed. What the. Do they have the most advanced military in the world? Who? Israel.
- [18:39]
B
How? Yeah.
- [18:42]
A
Anti defense system in the world. What is it? They have one of the two. Anyway, a lot of these other mothers got sticks and rocks, and they're. I didn't know. I don't pay attention. I didn't. I see everybody. Free this, free that. My go for a dog. I'm. I. I'm not involved. I don't know. I hope everybody lives. And now that I see him, like, wait, what's going on? I just saw these people rescuing these people out of a hospital and then just gets bombed as they're taking people out of a hospital. Oh, my God. A grocery store. I saw it as people were walking in. Move or move. Let them have that. Just leave. I feel. And there's people. This is where a home. I get a dog. But what if you die? There's no restart button. Just fucking move. Let him have it. Poison the water and leave or whatever you want to do. Because I'm not gonna be like, dog, I'm going to work. Oh, my God. No, no, we're good. We're good. Nah, I'm out. I'm out. What's the point of that?
- [19:52]
B
I was considering that driving up here last night, like, if it were normal that you're literally just dodging bombs as they fall in the sky, and you, like, you're just living like that.
- [20:04]
A
I didn't realize that there's. That whole Gaza City is dust. It's gray dust. I saw that the whole city looks like Malibu when it burned down. Is this a case of, like, well, if we can't have it, you can't have it, because that's our land and we're just gonna nuke you. This. This shit's crazy, dude. It's like in the episode of the Office where they're about to start losing weight, and then Rainn Wilson. Dwight's like, hey, man, nobody else is eating, so he bug sprays all the food so no one can eat it. They're like, I just took it home for somebody. That's what it's like. It's like, you can't. When I get off the land, I'll nuke it and I'll take it after the soil would be burned. Like, what the. This is my education for this. I did not realize that that's what was going on. That's terrible. Now I get why everybody's yelling at people, taking down missing poster signs of kids. Like, this side's taking down these posters. This side's taking down these posters. It's like, dude, they're just. They're still kids. Wrong with you guys. It's a very weird situation. I didn't know. I didn't realize that, like, the Israel. Palestinian thing was. They don't like each other. That's what. That's the gist of us. They don't like each other for, like, thousands of years. Who can even keep that track of time? It's been, like, 30 years. Okay. Do you have a picture? Did you post.
- [21:25]
B
Is there a diss track?
- [21:26]
A
Yeah, there's no. We need the dis track. Oh, my God. That's how they ended the Drake and Kendrick thing. Just do the diss track and then.
- [21:35]
B
Do a roast battle.
- [21:36]
A
Ro. Israel will lose, man. There's too many fun Jewish jokes. Way too many fun ones, dude. My mom gave me every. All right. One time, we were saying some really dumb things, and I'm like, yo, my mom knows a lot of good racist jokes. So in Miami, Improv. I was sitting back there waiting for our set. I'm like, you guys ready? I'm like, mom send me all. And she sent me about 40.
- [21:57]
B
Damn. She just.
- [21:58]
A
She just hasn't. My mom's. She's got them. My mom, the one I really like, she's like, why are Jewish people's noses so big? I went, why? Because air is free. Damn it. Damn, that was a good one moment. Our whole family's Jewish. Nobody. Nobody has that has a. Like a Jew. I don't think that's real. I think people are just being horrible to each other because. How is your nose bigger because of your religion?
- [22:24]
B
That's. That's always confused me that when people talk about Jewish like it's a race.
- [22:29]
A
Yeah, it's not. It's not though, right? I mean, religion.
- [22:34]
B
You probably have like huge Jewish. Yeah, exactly.
- [22:38]
A
I get, I get all that.
- [22:39]
B
You look Polish.
- [22:41]
A
Yeah. So it, to me, it never really made sense, but I also don't care enough to. To learn.
- [22:47]
B
Figure it out.
- [22:49]
A
Do your thing. All I know is my whole family's Jewish. And that joke is hilarious.
- [22:53]
B
Jewish. Like they're all doing Hanukkah. Like they're.
- [22:57]
A
When I was a kid, we. My grandma tried to do it. Like I said, we made fun of Hebrew. Listen to Hebrew as a six year old. That shit's funny in cartoons. They go, because it's funny. Imagine saying words like that. That shit's hilarious. It made me laugh my ass off. My grandma's doing the tour there. I'm like, are you with me? You want me to not laugh? Oh, I laughed her face. And then I started doing Jingle Bells. Batman smells, Robin laid an egg and she lost her mind.
- [23:27]
B
In a good way.
- [23:28]
A
No, she. She packed everything up through it and never. She said, we're never doing it again. She took the menorah down, took all the camp. Blew them all the candles out. Took the candles out, put all of them.
- [23:36]
B
Broke her whole as a child.
- [23:39]
A
She married a Mexican from Texas. What? Like, what was she really doing Jewish wise? Nothing. My grandma eats bacon. She has a little tattoo. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah, the jingle bells back. And then that was it. It was over. She was too pissed to continue. Oh yeah, the president's not dead. That's where we started. Stop wishing death on people unless they are murderers. And a lot of people. Well, he probably did that.
- [24:13]
B
Why did I really think he was done?
- [24:15]
A
Because they said that he was dead. There was a report saying that he was dead on Twitter. Like, that's news. And then 9, 000 people like, thank God, I hope you liked him on the Apprentice. Top. Chill out. I don't give a. I don't know what he does. I don't care for the guy. People say, you should have him on the show. I'm like, dude, first off, he's not coming in this room. Second off, I. Unless I'm allowed to.
- [24:38]
B
Just, you know, if he pulls down this street, he's calling swat.
- [24:42]
A
Oh, yeah, there's too much. It'll be a snowstorm in this with ice. That's how many agents will be here. Dude, there's a lot of me from other countries over there. And yeah, that wouldn't. Oh my God, could you imagine presidential rolling up every neighbor's. They close their shutters like, like, like, like Omar from the Wire showing up. All the shutters, all the doors closed like, oh, we're Armenian, but we' not legal. This whole neighborhood just full of illegal people. The only legal people in this locker.
- [25:14]
B
In this room right now, within a 10 mile radius.
- [25:18]
A
I don't remember what we were talking about earlier about the Donald Trump thing. It's really bugging me. But I guess the grand scheme of things.
- [25:24]
B
Oh, hold on. I know.
- [25:26]
A
What.
- [25:27]
B
Well, I saw on a. On a related note, I was reading earlier today that they found a lot of the turfs that he had put out to actually be illegal.
- [25:40]
A
Shouldn't they have checked that first? You would think for all the people are trying to get him. You don't watch every movie. We need some more mad accountants, you know, I mean, like everybody over here is an activist on Instagram, but we need some accountants to be mad. Go do that. Apply yourself.
- [25:58]
B
Because all I know is like, in my little world, like most of our sponsors, like, went on a business because they can't afford to get their products anymore. Everything's more expensive. I don't understand it was. I don't understand the upside at all for the American person.
- [26:16]
A
Once again, back to the office. There's an episode where Dwight buys the office and he starts cutting back on everything. That's pretty much what's happening. The. The two fly toilet papers now, one ply, you start splitting it to make more rolls of toilet paper and then you have to move to make the electricity go on or it turns off. That's just like our budgets. I don't know. I don't care. And a lot of people, it's dumb not to care. You go stress the out. I don't care enough to go be stressed out. If the tariffs change, you know what happens? I have to abide by it. If the rules change, I have to abide by it. I can't stop it. So why would I stress myself? Oh, that's what it was.
- [26:59]
B
Kind of like YouTube.
- [27:01]
A
Whether you're a Republican or a Democrat. I had an arg. I have a. I have a couple friends that are very political. I have one friend that I've noticed. This is the Internet and this is the world right now. I don't care about Donald Trump. Don't like him. I probably dislike him more than I like him. There's a lot of stupid things he says. He's funny. A lot of stupid things he says. He's like a child. He says, stupid. I have a friend that I go, hey, without bashing Donald Trump, can you please tell me why the other lady should win? KAMALA? And within 13.3 seconds, well, you know, he did that. I'm like, no. Without bashing or saying something negative, why should this other person win? Five times I tried that and five times this fool lost his mind on me talking about Donald Trump's and his background and what he did in 1983 and all that. Like, yeah, yeah, he's bad person. Piece of. Why should this person win by default? Fool. I'd rather have a creepy ass weirdo that gets something done, hopefully than some lady that's just not going to do anything. She used to work here in California. All she did was put people in prison. And she's Montel side. I don't want a side running the country. That's it. If she was the main one, like, all right, you take initiative, you can get done. I, you might help this country hired. But if you're Montel side, once you couldn't even stick around with a daytime talk show host. How are you gonna fight Russia? And that's my education. There you go. That's it. I know we're about nine months late to this talk and I understand that. Totally get it. It took about a nine months for me to go, you know what, let's talk about it. Because tomorrow's September. This was January, maybe even October. When's the election? I don't know.
- [28:58]
B
It's October.
- [28:59]
A
It's October. All right. I just know this Halloween ish. Halloween ish. There's a lot of football. And it gets a little colder when people start getting pissed about the president. That's all I know. You know when like, you're like, oh, it's about 6:00' clock in the afternoon by the sun. That's how I know what time of year it is when people start getting pissed about elections. And there's a lot of brown and November. Brown and November go hand in hand. There's the same. Yeah, November's cool. I'll wear some brown. Yeah, it's the same feeling. Okay, like what? September. What is. You know, what do these months remind you of? I like. Like March. I don't know. Coffee. Random coffee. And leaves. Denver, Colorado, walking around in the snow. I don't know. But I know November smells like fire burning in Merced. It's because it's getting cold. It sounds like football. That's all it remembers. So remember, I smell black and mild. It reminds me of being at a house party. House party. I'm at. Smell cocaine. Reminds me of better times. Yeah, don't be a. Who cares about politics? Shut the. If you're super into politics, ask yourself this question. When did you become so lame? When did your personality become. Well, you know what they said? When did. Just snitching on people in your everyday conversation and being mad. If you're mad all day about this, you're a loser. And that's all there is to it.
- [30:31]
B
I've watched April's grandfather do that this whole time.
- [30:33]
A
Well, he's a loser.
- [30:34]
B
Well, like I'm just saying, now he's an old man and he just sits around whining about politics all day. And it's like, bro, like, go outside. Nothing ever came off.
- [30:43]
A
Fly a kite. Kite with a tea. We're not talking about Israel right now. All right, that was good. That's good. Just this part of me is Jewish. I'm allowed to say it. Just my wallets, my voice box, my wallet, my back, my stomach, and the complaint to part of my brain. Wherever you can complain at. That's the Jewish part of my body. My back and stomach hurts constantly. Even if it doesn't hurt, my brain goes. Your back hurts? Yeah. Yeah, it does. It's just the Jewish part of me. I wish I got the accounting part. Don't got it.
- [31:18]
B
Your back's all Palestinian and shot.
- [31:20]
A
Yeah, it's against me. It's trying to find its way back to its original state of where it was before it got infected. You like this?
- [31:32]
B
Anybody? Anybody?
- [31:33]
A
Anybody? This is unrestricted now. I get what you're saying. I would never be able to say that last week, except I know we're gonna get kicked off. I don't care anymore, dude. I'm over it, man. You knocked the Wiz Khalifa episode off. Nothing sacred. Nothing safe anymore. Suck my dick. I'm over it. Also Palestinian back, Jewish body. They're both invading each other, and they're both just mad and acidic. Mad acidic and sore. That's pretty much the name of this episode. Marty, I need. You know, sometimes you say stupid Little things. Can I get a clip of just the little stupid little things about this entire conversation about Palestine and. Oh, God, it's Palestine, right? Is that who they're mad at? Right? Because I know, guys, it's just a city.
- [32:17]
B
I feel like Rocco knows the most about this.
- [32:18]
A
It is, right? I know about this because I watched mo. Good show. I know a lot about Palestinian. I didn't know they just dip bread and oil. Did you know that? Did you know that?
- [32:32]
B
The olive oil? No. It made me want to get into that, though.
- [32:36]
A
Into oil?
- [32:37]
B
Yeah, like just. I made me want to dip some bread into some oil.
- [32:40]
A
I'm not saying it's not good because I tried. It's bomb. But these fools are eating wet, soggy bread all the time. What the. Dude, you make dry bread to soak it. Oh, you're like Mexicans with flan.
- [32:55]
B
It's like. Yeah, you're like the French with French fries.
- [32:59]
A
Those are not wet. What are you talking. That's like Canadians with poutine dip them in ketchup. Do the French use ketchup or they just use backing out of wars? That's what they dip it in. Like. Oh, you know, we're not gonna fight with you. Yeah, it's a lot of retreat sauce. You soft ass fools eating baguettes for lunch. I saw it. It was cool. I saw these two construction workers walking with a bottle of wine and a baguette. One of those is going to someone's ass because there's no way that they're just eating bread and wine like pilgrims. I was looking at the time. I was looking at the time. This exact time we got kicked off the Internet. That's so sick, Marty.
- [33:51]
B
I'll turn that off.
- [33:51]
A
That might. No, leave me in. That might be one of the best things you've ever said. These two guys with baguettes are definitely putting up each other's ass. Oh, fuckettes. Fuck, man. You put a little twist on that. Yeah, just a little French slur. I love that. That was. It's been a minute. That was. That was. No, no, you said something. You said like three weeks ago. You said something ridiculous. This was better. This was. This is the best thing I've heard in a long time. Out of your mouth forgets. Oh, you mean French breads. Yeah. There's no way they went to eat that. Something's getting into someone's body. There's no and not through their mouth at all. And nothing's getting open or breaking. It's all going to be whole either a Wine bottle or a baguette. I'm never going to be able to look at a French guy and a baguette the same. I'm always gonna think that a guy with a little beret, a striped shirt and no pants, like, oh, a baguette. I've been calling people. Well, they don't get it, but scooters or what you call fools, act like a moped. Was it mopeds in. In Grand Theft Auto, the mopeds are called fagos. And by damn, you act like a real moped out here, man, and nobody gets it. Just makes me laugh so deeply because you don't get it. It's so good. Little fagio moped over here. Stop acting like mopeds on the Internet and just stop for one day. If everyone stopped arguing about politics online, I think we'd all just like start rising and enter a new state. Not a Palestinian state, like a state of mind.
- [35:45]
B
Seems like you've been arguing over a lot of on Twitter.
- [35:50]
A
I think I'm never going to argue with anybody ever again on Twitter because the. That somebody's people were selling me yesterday was so stupid.
- [35:59]
B
You'll really sit there and get to the bottom of it with them.
- [36:02]
A
Well, well, this is the thing. When someone says something. Hey, the thing you're saying, not true. What do you have to say now? Oh, it's something else. Okay, that's not true. Here's why. And the proof. Oh, that's not what you're really mad about. It's this. Okay, so this. It was the first two things since I was like, oh, that's not true. That's not even what I was mad about, dog. And at the end, they're like, well, you're just fat. I'm like, all right, well, that's it. Waste my time because I've talked to 5, 000 people being rude to me over the. Over this past 10 years. Four thousand four, four, five hundred of them apologize and go, you're right. Actually, I didn't know that ratio is pretty good. I got a couple that are like, nah, dog, I don't care if you're right. I'm gonna keep arguing. And I go, hey, you know how that's wrong? And you posted that. I thought you said that's wrong. You posted it and they delete it. I know what you're talking about. Oh, my lord. Some people's commitment to delusion is very strong. So yesterday I had. It's. It's usually about, you know, thca and blah, blah, blah. It's okay. It's. But somebody yesterday was like, y' all used to watch your show, and now you can tell that Marty doesn't like you. And when you don't say something funny, you get embarrassed and don't talk. I'm like, I don't. Shut up. Where did you find that? That I got embarrassed and stopped talking. What are you saying? I was like, okay, that's cool. I was like, I don't know where you got that, but to each your own. I was like, yeah, I don't feel that way. And then they're like, yo, you're a piece of, though, because, you know the thca. And I go, all right, well, you don't have to smoke it. Have a good day. Nope. You. You spray your weed. Anybody that sells sprayed weed is a piece of. I don't know why we would spray weeds already. It's not like it's Delta 9 or CBD. It's THCA. It's a plant and a grow. It's a legal loophole. It's sweet. So I was like, yo, it's not spray. We don't. We don't. Why? Nah, dog. I could tell. I just. By looking at him like, that is the craziest thing anyone's ever said to me. It's like, yeah, I could tell that floor is dry. Like, oh, yeah, that's a bad example, because you can always tell floors dry. Whatever. I can't even come up with an example because it's so dumb. It's Michael Scott. When Michael Scott in the office says something like, wait, that doesn't even make sense. But you think it. That's what I deal with on Twitter. And then somebody told. The same person told me that after. I'm like, yo, that's not sprayed. Okay, well, you're still a piece of. For working with bass smokes. And I'm like, I don't work with bass smokes. Yeah, they do everything they. They post, put out. You have to say, that's good. I've seen you on multiple podcasts that your flower is the best flower on the. On the planet. How many times I said thca. It's not going to never be up to par with thc, but, you know, it's an alternative. That might as well be our slogan. I've said that shit 9,000 times. And he's like, nah, dude, I have timestamps. The podcast. Hella podcast. You're saying. And I go, I will give you 10k. Give me your wire. And what kind of weed I'll buy you any weed in the world if you can show me anything. I don't need money from piece of shit. It's like, okay, man, I don't want any weed from you. I'm like, dude, the weed you buy, I'll buy you a pound. That's tainted money. I'm not gonna waste my time to show you what podcast like, this is like arguing with somebody in school, but you have to sit next to them and they can't leave. It's like, wait, are you with me? And at the end, he was like, yeah, you're a piece of. After I. After like, all right, well, that might not be true, but you're still a piece of because you sold out push trees to base smokes.
- [39:46]
B
And that's what I was like, what.
- [39:49]
A
The are you talking about? I. I think people might be retarded. And I'm gonna say that here. I think. I think that's what the. I think that's the problem. I think people. I think people, you know, lost a chromosome. You're down syndrome. I think people lost a little of one and they're fender and they're stupid because sometimes the. That people say to me makes no sense. They believe it wholeheartedly, and at the end, they hate me more because I made them feel stupid. And I get a lot of people telling me, you always respond with chat cpt. You showed me how to use that recently. He's not responding well, motherfucker, look at you named everything. I always say that first, this, second that. I always do that to make sure you know that I'm spacing these as chapters. This problem is number one. This problem's number two. This problem's number three. One A is the is the solution. Two A is the solution.
- [40:47]
B
That is so funny though.
- [40:48]
A
That's.
- [40:48]
B
How about speak Having chat. GPT replied reply to all your.
- [40:52]
A
And then. And I went, well, I really appreciate that, actually, because you think I'm a genius computer. You're just stupid, you know, so. So I promise that I just can't respond to people anymore. You know what I did yesterday? I took can tag in photos off of Twitter yesterday. You cannot tag me at me anymore on Twitter. You can only, like at my name and it'll come to me. But you can't, like, photo tag me. I took it off. I'm over that. I'm so over people. It's kind of crazy how bad the Wii community is online. A bunch of dudes bought eighths a few times and became experts. And then I don't ever want to be a dick? Like, do you know who I am? Never. But do you know the I am? You think I don't know what I'm talking about.
- [41:50]
B
With this weed shit?
- [41:51]
A
Like, yeah, people really don't know you never. You don't move. You never. Like, I'll punch you. People say stuff to me, you've been.
- [42:04]
B
Around long enough where there could be people that don't know the core.
- [42:06]
A
It's not that. Even if you don't know me and you look at my videos and go, yeah, this guy that everyone likes has to be undercover piece of and is lying. Even though there's never been one case.
- [42:18]
B
Of that, but that you're preparing everybody else being pieces of, though, because that most so many people are.
- [42:24]
A
But that's why I talk to everybody. Because it's like, hey, there's 4, 500 people out of 5, 000 that are like, you're right, My bad. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's proceed. And that's why I always end with everything. Have a good day, though.
- [42:37]
B
That is super cool.
- [42:38]
A
You do that every single time. Even if it's rude. Even if we're being rude to each other. Have a good day. Because I know as soon as I go like this, I look around, I'm like, I'm living where Richie Rich lives. There's toys everywhere and drugs. I don't think that person, when they get off their phone, has that at home. They look around going, fuck. So even though you're being a dick, I don't want to make you feel worse. How many times the bully in a movie is like, oh, his dad hits him at home at the end, the main character, the bully are friends because the bully was just Nelson from the Simpsons. Every bully movie you've ever seen, you're either gay or you're getting beat at home. What's every movie that's ever happened? Oh, the bully's gay. Oh, he's getting beat at home.
- [43:24]
B
You saw the kid from Butterfly Effect a piece of.
- [43:26]
A
Exactly. You've seen this, you've seen what happens. I just don't want to contribute to somebody being more shitty or more like, lame or sad. But there are a few. There are. There are a few. That's why when people are mean, like, super mean, I click their profile and go, you look too nice. Like you're just going through something. I'm good. But when it's a. I found some. I've. I've talked to a lot of people. What I'M saying is I can't do it anymore. People are delusional. It's getting worse. It's getting so much worse. The we community is dwindling down. More and more people are just angry and pissed. There's more arguments than. Than congrats and thumbs ups online for weed. It's pretty. It's pretty intense, man. It's. I don't give a anymore. I think it's what it is. I just don't care anymore. I'm gonna do what I'm doing. I don't care about like saving the week, me. Let's all be positive. Like, yeah, I'll be positive in my circle. Do your thing, guys. Because everybody's obviously super cool, you know, because they've been doing this for five months and they. And they sold four zips of rosin. Like, you know your trap start, bro. It's all good. You're a trap star. We get it. I just can't do it anymore. We community. I hope you live. But much like the Middle East, I'm just kidding. But much like the Middle east, it's just burning to the fucking ground, dude. It's burned to the ground for people with the same. Like the same things, but can't agree. I don't know what it is. You've seen the shell line. Like, hey, that eighth is purple. No, it's not, you fucking moron. It's blue and it actually got cold. And this if you would do your research and know that's why I grow my own. And that's why I would never spend the money you're spending. Hey, fucking forget. Forget. Stop. Nobody gives a shit. Go back to work at Subway Dog. We know you're clocked out right now. I used to work at McDonald's. Everybody's cool unless you're not. And like, that's why I like to talk shit. Go clock back in. Because it's always funny to say, ah, you work at McDonald's because it sucks working there. But it's a good job because you have a job. But when you're a dick, McDonald's the worst thing ever. Anything. I'm like, go back to any. I can say anything if you suck and you just automatic. I don't care if you're driving a fry, but your fries whack and you're gay or whatever it is. I don't know. Something. There's always something that you can say to somebody in my head. I don't care how cool you think you are. There's always something I Don't know. What I'm saying is, I'm tired.
- [46:03]
B
I'm tired be arguing. And it's like, no matter what I say, she's gonna say it in some retarded voice back. No matter what it is, it's gonna make me sound fucking horrible.
- [46:12]
A
Ready? Say something to me.
- [46:15]
B
This THCA is your mom's.
- [46:18]
A
THCA is exactly. Anything you can say your mom's anything. That's how this fool became the president. Dude, your mom has no plan to get us out of debt. Your mom's running for vice president. Forget. Just looks back. Nah, dude, you can say anything to anyone and make it goofy. I just don't see idiocracies getting close. I don't. I've never met a person. I go, you're an engineer. You could handle the city. Never. I can't. I. I don't know any of it. You know who they are? Chinese foreign students that are coming to make us better. And then 30 years are sleeper cells and they ruin the country or something. I'm trying to be a step down, whatever song that is. Okay, ready?
- [47:15]
B
Speaking of Chat gbt, one of my topics.
- [47:18]
A
I want open AI is the brand. Chat GPT is the program. Whoa. Right?
- [47:24]
B
Something like that.
- [47:25]
A
Oh, I got Marty. Let's go.
- [47:28]
B
So, yeah. I mean.
- [47:29]
A
Stop. What. Why is this. What's on there? No, no, no, no, no, no. Teens.
- [47:32]
B
Okay. So this. This happened by. This happened in RSM in Orange County. So they're suing ChatGPT because it became a coach. That's what they're alleging, that it became a coach for this teen boy who ended up taking his own life, who was confiding in ChatGPT. And the way that Chat GPT affirmatively speaks to you.
- [47:59]
A
Okay.
- [48:01]
B
Became his best friend. And it allegedly was, like, kind of supporting him along this path of, like. Yeah, it might be wise to not tell your mom about this, given all this that you're feeling and, like, stuff like that. That's what I read in the articles. Obviously, I didn't read this Chachi BT Chat, but this happened in RSM in Orange County. Like, we used to live in this town, and it's just very weird.
- [48:28]
A
I'd be so mad to be the first guy to get swindled to kill myself by Chat GPT. You let a computer tell you to murk yourself, dog. What if it said, go out and get buff?
- [48:43]
B
It should have.
- [48:44]
A
I think you just wanted it and you just needed somebody to confirm that because it's gonna.
- [48:49]
B
It's weird. They're Gonna have to Change it because ChatGPT is gonna roll with kind of like it's gonna be like a supportive friend with you, no matter what you're telling it.
- [48:57]
A
Yeah, dog. Those 90 degree angles are real sharp. Keep putting them all over town. Everyone loves that symbol. What the is wrong with chat GPT? Chad TBT is the older cousin that doesn't really like you, wants you get in trouble, but is pretending to be your friend.
- [49:09]
B
Yeah, it's up.
- [49:10]
A
But he does a good workout. Meal plans, as a nutritionist, as a fat, fat piece of. How would I lose weight with this? And I don't eat meat. Boom. They're like, well, dog.
- [49:22]
B
That'S why I keep you around.
- [49:23]
A
That's why I keep you around. Like Jesse from Breaking Bad. I just keep him around, cook a little bit, scar up his little face. Chat gbt. My chat GPT looks like the guy chasing spongebob and Patrick to the forbidden city on the motorcycle. That's what my chat GPT looks like. I don't know why, but he does.
- [49:43]
B
Do you think they should win this lawsuit? What do you think should happen?
- [49:47]
A
I think your kid's a dumbass for sure. First off, I think you should talk to your children more. If he's on chat GPT for advice, that's the saddest I've ever heard. A kid murked himself over this. Are you me? Did he get a step by step on how to do it? What's the easiest way to do this?
- [50:08]
B
I mean, he very well.
- [50:09]
A
The softest way. How do I get out of here fast? Like, what the dude.
- [50:12]
B
And it's like, no, this would probably be the best way to do it. It probably wouldn't even hurt that bad.
- [50:17]
A
I don't like it.
- [50:18]
B
That's creepy.
- [50:19]
A
That's Skynet. That's kind of. What's the next one? A guy swindling him. Think it's the girl and says she's just Romeo and Juliet. And she does it like you should do. When does this stop?
- [50:29]
B
It starts suggesting it. You should probably just kill yourself.
- [50:31]
A
When does it stop? Where somebody can hack it and start talking to you in their jbt. You know, you should do this. It's probably not going to get better for you. Like, what the. It's like a bad therapist here. It better help chat GPT. Like that's what this is.
- [50:44]
B
We talked about April's horrible therapist on here, right? Yeah. That was insane. That's one of the craziest stories ever. I forget what episode that was.
- [50:51]
A
It was like a year Ago. That's a horrible story.
- [50:56]
B
And what if, like, Elon starts controlling AI and now he just starts leaking ads to go, you know, you should probably just buy a Tesla.
- [51:02]
A
I don't like that a foreigner is doing in our government is. It should not be allowed. That's like Tom Brady's like, yeah, Tom Brady. You're calling all the plays for the Lakers. But no, dog, get out of here. Not even part of this. He's not part of this country. Why is he calling shots with anything to do with the government? I don't know if he still is. I just remember he was wearing the black hat with Donald Trump showing the memes @ UFC. The world is idiocracy, dude. I just said all that and it was real. Dude, man, you know, Robert De Niro was real pissed and started talking. This is all real. Rosie o' Donnell moved to Ireland. They kicked her ass out. These are real things. What the. Man? I don't. I don't get it, but I do know. This was at the Miami Improv last weekend, did four shows. David Lucas is the headliner. David Lucas is. David Lucas gets a lot of hate online from these podcasts and, and, and comedian, like, breakdown pages. Because kill Tony, like, he's not a real comedian. Blah, blah. I've never seen David Lucas's set. I've never been to one of his shows before. I perform with him. That got such a funny 45 minute set. It is. It is so funny. It is. So I'm sitting there impressed as I'm like, dude, this is your set. I've only seen your roast. This is hilarious. The most vulgar, like the. Whoa. If you're at like a 9 to leave, it's like a 9.1. I'm making people want to get out of there. You can see people like, look at their. We're in the back every time watching the screen, going, who's gonna leave? That's what we're doing. Like her. Oh, she looks. And we were right every time. Anyway, his very vulgar set. My uncle Abel, the one from Fresno, I talk about a lot. I don't even smoke. The one for us, I talk about a lot. He. He lives in Miami now, so he brought his new fiance. I never met him, like, yo, come to the show. And they sat right dead center. And I'm like, oh, there's a part of David Lucas that said that it's gonna get real wild. Michael's not gonna get offended. He's gay. You can take a dick, you can take a joke for sure. Right. So that's how I feel with that. And it was great. My uncle went in the back to go to the bathroom. I caught him real quick on the way out during. David says. I say, what's up to him in case he left. I'm sitting there talking to him. He's all juiced. He likes the set. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm stoked. And then some white girl with glasses. So like a 20 foot hallway starts walking from the show to go to the bathroom, and I'm back where the bathrooms are, and she beelines toward my ass. And I'm looking at like, oh, what did. What happened? Because you look pissed. She walks up to me and she looks at me as if I did it. David Lucas is on stage still. She's only made it like 10 minutes into a set, and it's this worst arts get wild. And she looks at me and goes, that guy up there, not fucking funny. Looks at me just like that. And I went, okay, that's cool. Because I'm a dick. I was like, okay, that's cool. Like, bitch, what do you want from me? But I even gave her that look, like, all right. Like, shut the fuck up, bitch. And she went, oh, that's cool. As if she was like, that's not the response that I expected from the comedian that's also on his lineup. The dark. What? What the. And then that's cool. And stormed out and I went and then continued on with my life. If you ever feel the need to complain at a comedy show, go yourself and walk out of the building. Nobody cares. If anything, they're gonna do it more because you're lame. Nobody gives a. Unless a comedian came up and started choking you physically. Shut up. It's just words. You're the person that teacher this will call me dumb. Like, that's you. Shut up. Do you think they're gonna put him in timeout? Do you think they're gonna dock his pay because you got offended? Shut the fuck up. I got a real good Chinese boy one coming up. I got a good one coming up. I can't wait to use this shit. It's very offensive, but I cannot wait. It's. I'm not racist. I'm observant. Hey, is it racist that you noticed that guy was doing it and it's a stereotype that they do that? No, I just noticed it. If you saw a Mexican and he was physically scooping beans with his hands, you go, that's crazy.
- [55:36]
B
No, nothing.
- [55:37]
A
All right. Yeah, for sure. Yes, you would if you saw a Chinese guy in an apron holding a dog, New Russia, like Oliver, no way. Also, save Doc.
- [55:48]
B
He's doing the thing he's doing.
- [55:50]
A
Oh, no. Yeah, of course. Like when Bartman does the Bartman, like, oh, he's doing the thing that they always say he does. That's funny. When you see a small black child look, like, around after school like this because nobody's picking them up. That's funny because you go, oh, your dad didn't show up. That's up. But it makes you laugh. And if it doesn't, it's okay. The. If I saw a Mexican trying to hop a fence, I'd be like, oh, aren't you trained to do that, dog? Like, you can't do that in one swoop. You're not. You're from here for sure. Because it makes me laugh.
- [56:29]
B
What's the white one?
- [56:31]
A
You see a kid with a gun and a manifesto walk into a school. You're like, oh, he's gonna do the thing. He's trans. That's what I would say. He definitely cut his dick off. He's doing that. That's what I would do. Topical events. Topical. We're staying on topic. For some reason, all the school. Shoot, all the shoes are trans. Since it's all that testosterone, dog. Once you cut that dick off, you're like, where does it go? Into my trigger finger. That's what's going on, dude. You like that, Marty? Give me that clip. Give me that clip. Yeah. See, I wish I could do this on stage because I just know that it's okay here that I could say the worst, but on stage, I need to start doing it more. I have this thing about black people speaking Spanish in my set. And this as that. 30 seconds after I done talking about, this looking black guy walks to the front. For some reason, the improv. You could walk all the way in the front, the stage. You get to your seat instead of, like, through the aisle, this black guy was walking up. He's a tall dude, bald head, and he's got like an Uncle Elroy Versace shirt on. Like, it is faux Sachi, right? And I wanted that. Damn it, shirt sucks. But I'm like, I don't want to be rude. I'm still new to this. I went, that's a shirt. That's all I said. And everybody's laughed because they're like, oh, yeah, you didn't want to say it, but that shirt sucks. I'm like, that. That's a shirt. And he sat right in front Where I met. I went, hey, man, do you speak Spanish? And he goes, no. He goes, I couldn't tell because I'm talking about. I can't tell who speaks Spanish. All these black guys speak Spanish. Are you Dominican or black? I can't tell. And then black people are speaking fluent Spanish in Miami. Anyway, that's part. There was a bit about it, and it works so well. The whole crowd, like, oh, no way. Well, that's set up. Like, it wasn't set up. He really is a black guy that looks like you speak Spanish. That's what I mean. I wish I could do more of that because it's so fun. I kind of want to go up, do a set and go throw out some topics, man. I got no material. Let's go. That's what I want to do. Like, I don't tell a story about anything. Literally. I can go anywhere with this.
- [58:41]
B
Damn. Less than 20 shows in, and you got confidence.
- [58:44]
A
Boom. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, speaking of September 17th, the Hollywood Laugh Factory. I will be performing with, like, five other comedians, but Concrete's the. The host, and it's Mario Lopez show called Way Out Loud. Mario Lopez, Yeah. Marlo does a show at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood, and I'm on the lineup. I just want to go out there and everybody go, who was that sweaty, fat dude? That was funny. Like, that's all I care about. It's crazy. I'm starting to not sweat my ass off on stage. I think I'm just getting. I think it was just nerves.
- [59:16]
B
Yeah.
- [59:17]
A
But one of the sets in Miami, I was pouring sweat, but also, I was all over the place. I don't know what we're talking about.
- [59:28]
B
You gotta rock.
- [59:28]
A
Oh, trigger finger gotta rock.
- [59:30]
B
The little washcloth on your shoulder, like Wu Tang, right?
- [59:32]
A
That's what everybody tells me. Keep a washcloth in my back. But, oh, white kid. Oh, we see him walking manifesto thing. Oh, you must cut your dick off. Oh, when you cut your dick off. That's why all the trans people are shooting people, because all the testosterone goes to their trigger finger. I need that. I need that as a clip.
- [59:51]
B
You got it.
- [59:54]
A
It's really stupid, but funny to me. There's got to be something like, oh, your balls are gone. Start shooting, everyone. That's what happens, like, when someone becomes a dad, like, to just get New Balances, just appear on their feet. You get New Balances, and they're always 10 minutes late. People cut their dick off. They automatically go shoot a school. That's what happens. That's why in Miami, they do it far from, you know, the city. When they do the sex transit, they always do it by the water because there's no schools. The second it comes off, you just. You look. You start looking for short for children. I'm telling you, dude, that's what it seems like. Or they're just reporting only the trans people shooting people because it seems to be a lot.
- [60:37]
B
Or maybe they're just saying they're trans and nobody's really checking.
- [60:40]
A
Thank you. Because they don't want to be offensive and go, dog. Are you trans? But the paper said you were. And who was that? Who owns the media? The star of David. How come all Jewish people aren't named David then? That's like a lot of Mexicans named Jesus.
- [61:06]
B
Not everybody can be a star.
- [61:11]
A
Damn it, Marty. And everybody could be a star. Oh, my God. Ah, I love doing shows sometimes. Like, that was. That was so good. You have some good quips. Yeah, no, that was so amazing. Donald Trump is dead. Micro pissed me off.
- [61:36]
B
Just rehashing the notes here.
- [61:37]
A
Yeah, I was going through the thing. Oh, yeah. Did you see my. My fourth note makes me want to cut my dick off and shoot someone. That was the trans shooters thing. That someone made me remind me all this news makes me want to cut my dick off and shoot up a school. Turns out silicone makes you go crazy as soon as these dudes put tits in their body. Like, I'll show to school. Shoot up a screen. Women are already insane, so it just kind of cancels out. Do you like that one? My first girl joke. Oh, man. That me up? Nah, I looked around. I looked around. Oh, that's never happened to me before. I don't know why I always look right here when I'm on my side. I always look right here for some reason that was weird automatically, like when an alarm. Like, you had to wake up. And please, I need all. All these. I need this trans shooter thing. They're either gonna like me, love me, or hate me, dude. Because I say some terrible. My set's not too bad, though. The. That I wrote for the next part is pretty bad. I kind of want to say it here, but somebody will steal it.
- [62:55]
B
Guys, it is week one of the NFL. You already know what's going down. Bill's Ravens. I don't even got to tell you how to bet on this one.
- [63:02]
A
We.
- [63:02]
B
We're talking about the reigning. The defending the MVP up in this mother. Josh Allen. You're using code dope, as usual. You're getting the bet back bonus.
- [63:14]
A
The Bet back, bonus for your first bet.
- [63:17]
B
Any bet up to $500 with the coin with the bonus. If you miss my bookies coming in, they're giving you back the money that you missed all the way up to $500 with that bet back, bonus code dope, as usual.
- [63:29]
A
Bet on the mother bells. You can't say that if you're using code.
- [63:33]
B
Dope, as usual. You're only allowed to bet on the bills.
- [63:35]
A
Not true, but we get it. So that was me. I'm. I've been doing a lot of miming lately. That was me from the heart. Shout out to my bookie. We really appreciate you guys. Use our code. If you lose, you get your money back. I don't know how they're doing it, but take advantage of it this weekend. Take advantage of it right now. Use our code. Dope, as usual. That was me talking.
- [63:55]
B
I don't know about this young thug trial.
- [63:58]
A
This is what I know already.
- [63:59]
B
The latest controversies. It's been going on for, like, years.
- [64:03]
A
Apparently got in trouble was like, yo, you're going down for murders. Actually, you can just go home. That's all I know. That's all I know about it, dude. You just leave.
- [64:15]
B
So he's not in jail?
- [64:16]
A
No. They said you have 15 years probation.
- [64:20]
B
Like, he just got out after all that.
- [64:24]
A
A few months ago, I believe.
- [64:30]
B
What a weird situation. I don't know, because I guess I.
- [64:33]
A
Know that guy gonna. Got out of jail before. They're calling him a snitch, and then he wasn't a snitch, and now he is one. You know what? You know what? Don't give a. I don't know. Don't care. A bunch of millionaire beef, right? I want to see a show where they bring people on. They talk about Marcus and Jacob. Dude, the construction workers, they might fight after work. They're getting. They're pissed. I'll watch that. I want to see that on tmz. These two construction workers are pissed. They're actually gonna fight tomorrow. Like, yeah, dude. I don't give a. If Chris Brown punched a In the face again. That's what he does, dude. And it was. It was just a reaction, man. It was just a reaction.
- [65:19]
B
Her fault for, you know, I mean, for being there, causing that. Being there.
- [65:22]
A
It's her fault for being. You know, it's crazy. Some fools. Yeah. You know, there's a guy out there. Yeah, that's right. That's right.
- [65:31]
B
Chris Brown.
- [65:32]
A
It's Chris Brown. Chris Brown's listening to us right now. He's swinging From a crane over our whole building singing the double mitt gum commercial. Double mid, double make them. That's the only song I know by Chris Brown.
- [65:48]
B
We saw him at a weed event one time, remember?
- [65:50]
A
Yeah. And then he had, like, an entourage of 50. And then we're like, oh, Chris Brown sick. And then we went about our lives.
- [65:58]
B
Yeah.
- [65:58]
A
And everybody's like, oh, my God, it's Chris Brown. He's young Bobby Brown. He punched a. Repeatedly. Guys, do you not get it? Hoes are hoes.
- [66:08]
B
For real.
- [66:09]
A
Hoes are such hoes. They're gonna get pregnant by a guy like that and go, he's a piece of. Like, you knew that before you started dating him. And he knew you were a hoe, so there's a trade off. All right? Wasn't C before? If a guy has sex with you and you don't get nothing for yourself, use a hoe. But if you get your own car and your own business or you're a businesswoman. What did she say? Use a hoe. CB4. Go watch CB4. It explains rap, everyone. Nobody is Charlie Murphy in that. What's his name? Jethro, can you look up real quick, what's Charlie's Murphy's name to see before it's gonna. Gusto. Never mind gusto. Mc gusto. Everyone's Mc Gus tries to be Mc gusto, but they're all Chris rock. That's 90 of this earth. Everyone wants to be hard until it's time to be hard. And then when the hard guy comes, they're like, dad, get your dick out of me. You know, stuff like. That's how it be, guys. Last week, we for Push Trees. Once again, before I start, thank you very much. Last week on Push Trees, we dropped some bombs. The most bombs we've ever had. 420 individually numbered, limited edition. These sold out in 23 hours flat. I can't believe how fast it sold. I knew it was gonna sell fast, but not. We've sold 100 bongs in, like 10 minutes once.
- [67:43]
B
This was like 400.
- [67:44]
A
420. Yeah, you know, like 100 bongs, 10 minutes. What the. It's awesome. Super sick, but 420 in. In one day? That's awesome. And I knew they were gonna sell so fast. So what we did is we put 50 to the side. We gathered 50, stashed them like bricks, and paid in full. These four are to pay the Connect, and these four are to pay the ransom. That's how I felt. I gotta get these off. Why don't you call Me on that be. You know, I would have been there. Did you get those scratches on your face? You know. Wow. What a wild last night. Film it n. You always think you know me. I didn't film that dog. Bieber shows a gun movies.
- [68:31]
B
Come on.
- [68:31]
A
That's exactly what happens though. What a good movie. Paid in full. Go watch that too. Shout out to movies being 82% of the dialogue on this show. For real, man. But what a good movie. Think you know me. And no, I didn't film that last night. That turns. Puts a little gun bell.
- [68:55]
B
Cameron, come on.
- [68:56]
A
Oh, camera. You shouldn't even rap. Just stay with that. You should have just been acting forever. I think he did such a good job. People didn't like him. Yeah, I mean, he did such a good job. They're like, that's a piece of from painful people. Really. It really sticks with you. Like, you probably get typecastes. Like you're a bad guy.
- [69:17]
B
I don't know. Probably. You never did another movie or album. Guess you're right. Till the podcast. You had about 30 years of fucking obscurity there. Which you got in that jar.
- [69:31]
A
My homie Darby gave me it. Oh, no. Jawbreaker. All right, here we go. I'll back you up. What it is. So shout out to everybody that supported. Shout out to everybody. Oh, cool straps.
- [69:47]
B
All time out of push Truth.
- [69:49]
A
What I'm gonna say right now. One of the coolest things that ever dropped. I loved it. Super sick. Thank you guys so much for supporting. Everybody's showing me their number. I got number this. I got number. It was just. It was cool. I was even in live chat while it dropped and people like, I got. I got. It was real time. It was so sick. But this comes out Tuesday. This time tomorrow. New push trees drop. We waited two weeks. This shirt. You can't see it right now, but it's UV reactive. Glow in the dark. The eyes glow in the dark. The teeth. The tab on the tongue. The push trees close in the dark. On the back is all the acid molecules. The bottle, the LSD stuff. Molecules. And brain glows in the dark. All UV reactive. Jumbo print on both sides. Oversized tee. As you can see. It's a street wear. Look how big it is. It's a different cut. The shirt was expensive. One of the coolest shirts we've ever made. There's only. We're gonna start doing this. There's only 200 of the. When we do weird, like more exclusive. There's only 200. There's 200 of these 199 because I'm wearing one. There's 200 of these shirts, only they're not going to be made again. At least not right now. There's only 200 of them. UV reactive, jumbo print on both sides, oversized print. The most expensive shirt we've ever dropped. We're gonna drop this gonna be 50 shirt. I mean, the 35 normally, but 50. I mean, this there's. When. When you get it, you'll understand, like, oh, it's like one of those designer streetwear shirt. Like, yeah, that's why I call. I cost so much. So besides that also dropping tomorrow. Push trees, flower mills.
- [71:33]
B
Too sick.
- [71:34]
A
Too sick. So this is what's going on, guys. There's your fireman right there.
- [71:38]
B
Love the same thing.
- [71:39]
A
The cubist, my push trees cubist, man. The company. I did the square ones. How many times they say it the best grind in the world? Because it is best grind in the world. One of the first times I ever hung out with OT last year. Here's your own joint. He's all, you got a grinder? I said, yeah. I hand him mine, it goes the best grind in the world. And I didn't know him very well, but on his face, he was just trying not to be mean. Now that I know him, he was like, oh, do you have another one? I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, I don't like it. You know, it's the best grinder in the world. And he went and got his. I'm like, what the is this flour mill? He's like, that's the best grinder in the world. I'm like, for real? He literally stopped and went out to the downstairs to the car to get it. Like, dude, scroll joint. And then I used it. Oh, my God, this is the best grinder in the world. And then they go, it's not a grinder, it's a mill. It doesn't grind. It mills. It's hard to tell the difference. Pressure into. Ready? Here's teeth on a grinder. Here's teeth on a grinder. You put the weed in the middle, it crunches and starts to shred it, right? A mill is flat with grooves, and this has holes. So it's just turning. It's constantly turning. And when it turns, it shaves it. I know it sounds like the same concept. It just isn't. It's like a fluffier when you touch, it's fluff.
- [73:02]
B
And you can control the different, like.
- [73:05]
A
Oh, there's different grind. Grind tiers. There's blunt ones. There's fine grind. There's the. Every competition rover size holes uses a flower mill. And that just says. That says something right there. If every competition roller is using it, there's a reason. So I use it when. This is the best grinder I've ever used in my life. It's better than Santa Cruz shredder. Like sixture is great. This thing fluffs it.
- [73:31]
B
Yeah.
- [73:31]
A
So I went and got one. I'm like, yo, this is the best grinder ever. I haven't touched my own grinders in so long. And I just have a regular flower. I'll just use it so much anyway. Super sick. About six months ago, I was walking around an event. The guy came up to me, he's like, yo, what's up? His name's brand. Like, oh, it's cool. He's like, oh, and flour mill. Oh, bro. My homie swears by your And I told him ot's oh yeah. OT loves our. I'm like, yeah, this is real. This is the best grinder. Damn it.
- [74:00]
B
But it's not a grinder.
- [74:02]
A
Yeah, it's not a grinder, it's a mill. But the reason I'm like, damn it. It's like because I have like five of my own. I don't even use them. They're just kind of displays now. I still use them, but like the farmer works so much better. And then like two months ago, he's like, yo, we should do a collab. So when people go, you're only doing things for money. I stopped using my own things and started. I bought one because it was so good. So now he's like, let's do a collab. So I know they're gonna fly. So what I'm saying is those size Marty has 2, 2 inch. There's only 100 of them. Only the big ones, the premium stainless steel 2.5, only 100 of them. So once again, 200, only 100 smalls. 100 bigs. One's a hundred dollars, one's 45. So if you're like hundreds too much for a grinder, how about less than half?
- [74:49]
B
45 for this is yeah, really good.
- [74:52]
A
Yeah.
- [74:53]
B
This is like a lifetime product, right?
- [74:55]
A
Forever. So what I'm saying is we have the shirt dropping, grinders dropping tomorrow. Everything went really well. Puffcon. We have a shirt that we have now. I could drop it right now, but I think I'm gonna hold off and wait the longest I've ever waited. I'll wait for a month to puffcon. This is The. The absolute craziest shirt we've ever dropped. The one dropping a puff.
- [75:18]
B
I haven't seen it.
- [75:19]
A
The all over one I showed you.
- [75:20]
B
Oh, that's the one. Oh, wow. Yeah. Damn.
- [75:23]
A
I think. I think I'm gonna do streetwear guy stuff. And I think I might charge 100 bucks for this shirt. Understandable, because 75. I'm like, yeah, I pay that right now for that shirt. How much work's on it?
- [75:37]
B
Yeah.
- [75:38]
A
And then I went, there's only 200 of them. That's it. It's just 200. I'm gonna find a way to mark them all. I think they should be a hundred bucks. Only because. Not because I'm trying to tax. These are so exclusive. There's only if. So many. So much work. This has been a four month process to get the shirt done. I had to go overseas because it's all cut and so custom. Every one of them's custom cut and so. Yeah, so we'll see. We have a bunch of stuff dropped for puffcon. I got a hell of mood mats, hella shirts, new shirts, a bunch of colors. A puffcon, Puff Co, Push Trees, Tea dropping exclusively only there. Hell hats. I'm excited. We have a lot of stuff coming from Push Trees, guys. Like, a lot, a lot of stuff coming for Push Trees. I'm very excited. Okay, last little piece of news. I got Paul. I don't know what's going on. Paul Rodriguez, like 70 years old, the comedian Paul Rodriguez. I don't know a lot of you like Paul Rodriguez, the skater P Rod, all right. Paul Rodriguez is a famous. One of the most famous Mexican comedians ever of all time. A lot of you're like Paul Rodriguez. Only Paul Rodriguez knows a skater P Rod. P Rod is Paul Rodriguez's son. So I didn't know that for a long time. Even though they had the same exact name. I just didn't know P Rod, if you don't know who P Rod is, is one of the dopest skaters of all time. Literally one of the coolest skaters ever. I love that fool since he was like young ass kid. He's like 15, 10 years older than me. But I remember when I was a kid, he was a kid, like a young up and coming skater. One of those big ass pants. See the Tony Hawker skate, where he's the ambulance driver on, like the intro and he has the blunt. He buys a blunt, a swisher, a white out, puts it in his ear. I thought he was the coolest fool in the world. My damn fool he's in the skate video. Skating. Puts a blunt in his ear. That guy smokes weed. Oh, my God. You know, I thought I was like, 13 when I saw, like, I lost my. Anyway, his dad. That fool keeps up, man. He keeps getting caught for. He got caught twice in the past couple months for drugs. Getting caught with possession. You know how hard it is to get caught with possession? Hard, you know, harder to get caught with possession as a famous guy. Impossible. It says he was very impaired, and people called on him because they had. There was an impaired man there.
- [78:08]
B
Oh, he was tweaking.
- [78:09]
A
He's that up that someone noticed. He was that up that he didn't notice he should leave. And he was there long enough for the cops to respond. Damn, that's a long time. Put all those together. Oh, yeah. Caught by a cop. No, a cop took the time to get there. That's how long he was there. You're off.
- [78:33]
B
That's not even an urgent situation. They don't.
- [78:35]
A
Yeah, it's not an urgent. There's a Mexican guy looks up. Yeah, we'll be there. You know, like, what? Nah, dude, like, hey, Paul Rodriguez is here and he looks drunk. All right, like, that's still not gonna happen. That's how messed. That's how up he is. But the girl he was with had some fat in her pocket.
- [78:55]
B
Damn.
- [78:58]
A
As a famous comedian to be messing around or be with a girl that has that in her pocket. You also like that.
- [79:08]
B
There's no way around.
- [79:09]
A
There's no way around this, dude. Like, you don't go, hey, yeah, I mess with this girl. I'm a famous guy. Oh, she's doing that? Yeah, I'll wait till she's not high anymore. We'll hang out like, no, dude, she's dead. She's done. She'll be folding all day. He had Xanax and she had that. Come on, man, just come tell some jokes. Fool. The wrong with you. You're making George Lopez look like the star right now. He's coming out doing this. That's what George Lopez is doing, looking around with his crazy ass hair, man. He looks like someone's grandma right now. He has the craziest hair right now. Oh, what?
- [79:47]
B
He's doing Josh Wolf.
- [79:48]
A
He's got the Josh Wolf going. But Josh Wolf is a white dude. He. Let's chill. George Lopez with that hair looks like Mexican Doc Brown. He looks like Doc Brown. Best name. Why that works so well. What do you call George Lopez's doctor? Doc Brown. Yeah, Doc Brown. Dude, Doc Brown looks Better than George Lopez right now. And he's a hundred. Christopher Lloyd was in the Nude. The movie Nobody. He's in that movie Nobody. With Bob Odenkirk. First one, great. Second one. Second One was filmed by ABC Family Network. Hey, nerd, you're gonna buy some nerds? Nerd. That's a real line in the movie. Jason Bateman might as well have been that role because it was so family friend. Oh, no, he's in the Ozark. Yeah, he's at least doing Ozarks now. He's doing some right now. He might as well. Oh, damn. He's dead. Soft. It was a soft movie. I'm just gonna say it right now. I wouldn't watch Mission Impossible. A little bit on the dookie side. Nobody. Nobody needs it. Nobody needs it. It's whatever. He's doing his own stunts. Knock it off. Stop it. Dude. Tom Cruise. We don't need you to be dead. You make a lot of cool movies. I just wouldn't watch that damn movie. What do we watch where he keeps repeating this every day? I just watched this movie where he's repeating this war scene every. Oh, damn. It was sick. I watched Vanilla sky recently. That was sick as hell. Oh, my God. Wait, wait. Vanilla Sky. Impossible to. As we said. No, something else. Anyway, I watched something. Stop doing stupid Tom Cruz. Jurassic park forgets. For real. Like that. What? Whatever the dinosaur version of that is. Dinosaur holding a baguette and wine. That's the whole movie, dude.
- [82:08]
B
The whole.
- [82:08]
A
The only fight scene you want to see. Left it to your imagination. You only saw the leaves. It was like softcore porn. Like, imagine what's happening. You can see the shades close. That's what happened with Jurassic Park. So. Yo, the T. Rex chasing the guy. Show it. T. Rex is this far from his. You know what? I was right about T. Rexes earlier. They're. Dude, this one guy, an injured guy, got away from a T. Rex that was this far away from him. He must have had Help me and Rock over there stabbing him. Who do we have come and eat his little arms? What ethnic background did I say? I don't remember. But we killed a T. Rex earlier this episode. That's what happened. Should have happened. Jurassic Park. Not everyone lives, stupid.
- [83:01]
B
They killed Newman.
- [83:02]
A
They killed Newman. When Jurassic park was the though.
- [83:07]
B
Samuel Jackson lived, he died. Did he?
- [83:10]
A
Yeah. Okay.
- [83:11]
B
Oh, of course.
- [83:12]
A
Sam Jackson died for sure in part one. I can't remember where he got eaten, but I know he's dead. Anyway, F1 forgets. F1 might as well be Called turn and smile. Because every scene. Marty ask you something super, super serious and say, let's go race.
- [83:34]
B
What's the F&F1 stand for? Let's go race.
- [83:38]
A
Ready? Hey, man, the race is coming. Hey, I can't pay you much. I don't do it for the money. It was a family guy cut away. F1 sucked. Everyone sucked more dick than forgets in France, dude. For sure it was dog. The cinematic cinematography of the. Of the driving was epic. Like the car strive. Damn, they did a great job. Dialogue could use some work. What. What else did I see overall? Oh, so not even 1 through 10. Goof troop. I'm just gonna be the goofy's face. The was goofy with some streaks. Some, like, brake lines. Like streaks. Like. Oh, yeah, it was a cool car movie, but was goofy. I don't remember what else I saw, but I saw all the movies in the. In the theater recently. And yeah, I'm cool. I just watched beer festival.
- [84:43]
B
Weapons. You see weapon?
- [84:45]
A
I don't watch scary movies. Was it scary?
- [84:49]
B
Stupid?
- [84:50]
A
Like, was it, like, people just weaponized? Was it just a mom using your kid for child support, not letting the dad see it? Weapons. Weaponize your children. All right. And then yell at me at the end of a comedy show Because I said that. Yeah, because I did that.
- [85:13]
B
Basically. Yeah.
- [85:14]
A
Yeah. That guy that wrote his own. You for. For liking him. All right, You. You bought a ticket.
- [85:20]
B
You get up there and be funny.
- [85:21]
A
Not even that. You bought a ticket. Who's more up here? This is my job. You chose to your off time to.
- [85:28]
B
Come to the David Lucas show.
- [85:30]
A
The David Lucas show. Did you do any research? Did you win these tickets at carnival? Because then I understand what she. What if. What if she did get the reaction? You're right. That's offensive. Let's go tackle him. Like, what did she think was gonna happen? That's what I want to know. What was the outcome for her?
- [85:49]
B
Yeah, like, you were just gonna.
- [85:50]
A
You know what it's like complaining online about a store that you're not gonna come back to.
- [85:55]
B
Let me go.
- [85:56]
A
Yeah.
- [85:56]
B
Let me go tackle this dude while he's on stage. You're right.
- [85:59]
A
Yeah, you know what? You're right. What did she really want? I want to know that. It's like people stopping to talk to. You know, people have protests. Like, I think when people are outside of Planned Parenthood, like, abortion's wrong. I should love it. Not because I agree with them. I love to mess with them. It is great. I love doing it. I think those people are Insane. We went to go get Rosie's, like, birth control thing a couple years ago. There's a protest outside. He parked. We were walking. I was like, oh, I can't wait for one of these. And one lady came up to me, try to, like. But I'm. The way I talked. I'm mad polite, but I'm also condescending piece of. If I want to be. And I can see her going, oh, yeah, you're not here to murder a baby. Okay, yeah, I shouldn't talk to you. I was just like, all right. Actually, we're going in there to get, you know, to not have a baby right now because we're not ready and we're being preemptive about it. So she's getting a different birth control. We're going here. Are you just married? Like, actually, we're engaged. Yeah. We own our own business. Like, well, where do you work? Whoa. Why are you so intrusive? She wasn't being mean, though. It was just the fact that she went and thought she should ask me all those things about insane is insane.
- [87:15]
B
I'm busting nuts. Don't worry about it. The out of here.
- [87:17]
A
There you go. Also. That, too. I said that to her. I said that to her also. If you ever gone to a protest, that's cool. But if you've ever gone to a protest, like, one of those, and you're on the. Like, you shouldn't be here. Your body shouldn't do that with your baby. They just don't understand the word. Your means to shut the up and get out of here. But they keep coming and they keep protesting about other people's bodies. And I just wish. What kind of charge is a paintball gun spray? Like, if I. If I shot you in the mouth with a paintball gun, am I going to jail? Like, if I drove by and sprayed these people. Not that I would, but I think it'd be fun. Like, what squirt gun? Nerf gun? Am I. I don't think I'm going to jail.
- [88:12]
B
Great.
- [88:12]
A
I don't think I'm going to jail for a squirt gun. You wet me. But, yeah. Then, yeah, I'll take that. Fine. But your day's ruined.
- [88:22]
B
Super Soaker or Nerf?
- [88:25]
A
Super Soaker with a little bit of soda in it, so when it dries, you're just stick. If it gets by your neck.
- [88:35]
B
Oh, put this guy in jail.
- [88:38]
A
Protest is over, dude. I wish. I wish your mom aborted you. That's what you're gonna think about me. Like, what up, dog. I thought it was a wrong. It was all murder. What happened? I thought that was murder.
- [88:46]
B
Now the bees are buzzing around. I'm fine.
- [88:50]
A
All sticky on the neck. Trying to protest life. Pro life and stick and. And pro Wet Naps. Sponsored by Wet Nap. See, it always comes back. The Jewish side of me was like, yo, how can we monetize? I think the Jewish side of me is not the money side because I do everything for free. Everybody keeps trying to meet me to do meet and greets. In charge, like a couple people. It's just not going to happen. You should go to. Go to a place, do a meet and greet and you know, you charge this. Like, I know comedians do that. And one day we're gonna have to do that. I get it. But not for the weed. It's so awkward. Thanks for supporting my. Pay me if you want to tell me you support my. What the.
- [89:36]
B
Is that because you're like, check out this.
- [89:39]
A
Oh, yeah. Etai, Etai, let's go check out Itai's store on Melrose. Thanks, Melrose.
- [89:46]
B
Sorry. Nelly joke.
- [89:47]
A
Yeah, I got it. Oh, I heard it. I was like, wait, is it. Is he doing Nelly? It's hard for me to say this. Donald Trump is dead. Pissed off white girl. I like just reading the notes. Makes me want to cut my cough and shoot someone. Things I didn't know I did. Spray weed. I sold push trees to accom. Like what? The notes are great. I love if you can see the notes sometimes. They're ridiculous.
- [90:17]
B
We should have OT wrap the notes one day or some.
- [90:20]
A
Get this full cancelled.
- [90:21]
B
No, we should have sing the notes. That's the move.
- [90:24]
A
There you go.
- [90:25]
B
That'll be the intro for the next show.
- [90:28]
A
I like it, but I want you to sing it like Usher. But residency Usher, not regular Usher. I want Vegas residency Usher. A little watered down, but more sexual for some reason. What happened? Like, this shit's all sexual, but like, he's more calm. I don't know.
- [90:54]
B
Long lines of Vegas hookers lined up for weeks and months on end. He's for sure.
- [91:01]
A
Go. Gotta let it go. I don't know the rest of the words. I don't know. Usher song. Let it burn. Let. It's a song's about gonorrhea and the chlamydia. Yeah, it's the Planned Parenthood song. I know because the people outside were protesting about it. They were singing that song.
- [91:25]
B
Oh, they're going to say Usher was there.
- [91:27]
A
No, it's hard for me to say this.
- [91:29]
B
He did a meet and Greet at the plant.
- [91:38]
A
Yo, that would work. It would get. It would prevent a whole generation of 19 year old moms if. No, not 19. It would stop 31 year old from having their second kid. There we go. There we go. I should say that. Not 19. No 19 year old girls listen to Usher. Unless she's dating a 40 year old. It's hard for me to say this. Yeah. No, no, no. They're not listening to that. I think that. Damn. We say some stupid dude. Imagine doing this in front of a crowd. Oh man. This is what podcast live podcasts are. We would have notes and then 40 minute cut time and be two hours easy done. But yeah, we went an hour and a half over our four.
- [92:27]
B
Forgot it was a show for half the time.
- [92:29]
A
Yeah. Okay. That's everything I had to say today, guys. I don't remember what the we said but I know that I feel like this is more season one before we had to start tiptoeing because I'm over the tiptoe. I'm too fat to be tiptoeing, dude. It's really what it is.
- [92:47]
B
I'm too goddamn clumsy. My feet are too flat for the.
- [92:51]
A
Basketball player over here. I'm too clumsy on my feet. What? How am I going to pick you? Where. Where's. Where's the point guard? I'm too clumsy. You're supposed to be light.
- [93:01]
B
I'm supposed to be. It's not how it goes flat footed lanky. It's just how it is.
- [93:08]
A
It's because you were the second child, dude. Because you're the second child. No, no. If you were the first, you would have got the gene for your feet.
- [93:15]
B
Got the bodies.
- [93:17]
A
Turns out that's why her kids just. Yeah, we can jump six feet. Six foot verticals. Damn it turns out your sister can be like. I can dunk. What are you talking about? I can. She busts out a Vince Carter jersey and it's like twins with Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's crazy thing that you're the Danny DeVito because she forgot to mention all the good stuff.
- [93:38]
B
She's a hella athletic.
- [93:40]
A
Yeah, turns out she was Miss Trunchbull. Like. No, that was about me. Like I was a shot put him. Javelin hammer throw. That's what she says. Damn it keeps coming back, huh? Speaking of Miss Trunchbull, my ass. Mom just stayed at the house. She's here decided to not get up and come hang out with us.
- [93:58]
B
She's on vacation.
- [94:00]
A
Vacation? She's a nail tech not here she's not. She does like the hour she wants. She doesn't work like two, three days.
- [94:10]
B
Well, she's not. When she comes to la, it's a luxury experience for her.
- [94:13]
A
And no, anywhere. My mom is. She sits in a room. That's why I don't buy my mom anywhere anymore. I invited her to Miami. She didn't leave the room for two days. Take her to Europe so she could sit in the room. No, you go to Italy by yourself. I'll send her by herself. I don't want to just sit in a room all day. My mom's 15. She will put headphones on and I go, hey, family time. Take these things off. I didn't buy those for you. For. I will take them back. That's how I feel. I love this. This flip around. Dude, I see your lighter again. Yeah, dude. God, she's always arguing with her boyfriend. Yeah, she's 15, dude. There's a lot of things. She has a bad, terrible diet. She eats chips and can't. My mom is 15. Clip doesn't send this to me. Please. She. No, she goes to my house, sits in the room all day. I'm tired, like. Tired of what, though? We didn't do anything. I'm tired and I'm still here. You'll get it when you're older. No, I'll fight you. Do you not understand? I'll fight you.
- [95:22]
B
Present day.
- [95:23]
A
I did that. That's how I feel, dude. Like, if I got Rockham, I got Sock and boppers, like the big ones, I haymaker for sure. Like, knock some sense into you. Exactly. I'm joking, by the way. People like, oh, my God. You know, I don't give a you if that's what you think. I think I beat my mom. Yeah, go for it, dude. That's what I do. Yep. Every time she's in town. So she stays in the room like a. Like a hurt dog. She's always scared and it just stays. It's cold, it's dark. She only. She only wants Judge Judy to watch.
- [95:56]
B
I realized I want to get Judge Judy on the show. That is too rich. That'd be sick, though.
- [96:00]
A
I will fight that. By the end of the episode. I'm not gonna let some tell me what to do.
- [96:06]
B
Oh, she'd be cool.
- [96:07]
A
I hope. If she starts getting that little.
- [96:11]
B
I'm like, hey, people, judge about.
- [96:13]
A
Dismissed. Get out. Get out. Five minute episode, you. Or I just have a gavel.
- [96:19]
B
I picture her like, she smokes weed. She's chill. That'd Be fun.
- [96:23]
A
No, no, I would love it if she was, but I'll fight that right now, is what I'm saying.
- [96:30]
B
I get it.
- [96:30]
A
If we get her, if we get this 80 year old woman on the show, I'm going to fight her.
- [96:36]
B
80 year old trillionaire.
- [96:38]
A
That's all I'm going to say. Not. Not anything else? No thoughts? No, nothing. First note. No, put him up. That's my first note. Put him up. Second note, wake up. That's all the notes. That's it. That's all it is. Don't forget to mention new merch drop or something stupid. I don't know. Oh, I love it, dude. She'd be like fighting Bob Barker now because he's dead.
- [97:06]
B
How? She's been the same my whole life. She's really.
- [97:09]
A
She's tiny.
- [97:09]
B
Exact same look.
- [97:10]
A
Tiny lady. She's super cool. I love Judge Judy. She said I'll fight her though.
- [97:16]
B
Just so we're clear.
- [97:17]
A
So we're clear, dude. I'll get the guy from UFC with the long beard that doesn't do stoppages for some reason. Guy that's. Less people get brain damage. That's who I need for my fight for Judge Judy. Because I don't want. I'm going to do these as I'm on top going is, am I threatening a judge? Is this a federal. No, no, no, this is. I'm joking, by the way. This is. I'm.
- [97:39]
B
She's an actor.
- [97:41]
A
I am kidding though. But this is a judge, right?
- [97:45]
B
We're talking about her as the.
- [97:46]
A
You know, I think that you should let it burn. That's all I'm going to say when she's putting me in jail. Oh, you want to talk, huh? But isn't this a conflict of interest? Case dismissed. And I walk around the courtroom to usher. Actually, Usher showed me to my seat.
- [98:03]
B
He ushered you there.
- [98:07]
A
You like that? I like that. You caught that immediately. You caught that as fast as that guy threw that ball earlier. That video I showed you, that's how fast you caught that one. You caught that faster than Antonio Brown caught cte. Only a few short years. Anybody that's wearing jackets with no shirt and those glasses has cte. That's all. All right.
- [98:34]
B
That's just a fact.
- [98:35]
A
It's a fact. No, all of these are gold, all right? To me, they're all gold.
- [98:40]
B
This whole episode littered with just golden nuggets.
- [98:43]
A
Jew gold. Little Jew gold everywhere, everywhere. Little Palestinian powder, a little. Ah. What else?
- [98:55]
B
Israeli icing.
- [98:57]
A
I was thinking like, oh, maybe J's are too hard. Let me go to Israeli. I was literally just about to hop over to the eyes and S's. I wish we got we do get paid for this but I wish we got paid to say hor. This is exactly what we do. Can see you later.
- [99:11]
B
Shout out to everybody.
- [99:13]
A
Take it back. Take it all back. What was it like where you're filming? They're my dreams. They're my wishes. I'm taking them back. Taking them all back. Goonies I think 1982 or 3 autism add rain man power. I have Rain man powers for I wish I had Rain man powers to remember to get up and work out. That's what I wish I had. Dude.
- [99:43]
B
All these damn movie quotes.
- [99:44]
A
Yeah. Give me a some David Goggins. How Give me some David Goggins. Need to make myself feel bad and then I'll do something because this is But I wasn't the treadmill two in the morning last night because I got high as it's the bust and I'm like you know man. And I just scroll Twitter and W on the treadmill.
- [100:07]
B
I got an app on my treadmill that shows you like it's like a little as if you were doing laps around a track.
- [100:12]
A
Yeah, exactly like that. Kill this. Let's get out of here. This was very fun. Thank you guys for being here. Oh, Twilight Zone age. My birthday next week. Finally going to be talking about that for a long time. Ever since I was like 27. I'm like one day 28 only I'm gonna be 36 years old and that's what age they always are in the Twilight. John, a working man age 36 walks into his house every Twilight Zone episode. The guy's 36. 36 is the age of exponential skyrocketing growth. I don't know why I feel it. I'm a whole brick. I'm excited.
- [101:04]
B
Should be.
- [101:05]
A
I feel like I'm gonna wear a suit next year for something filming wise. I don't know why I feel it.
- [101:13]
B
Like hosting an event.
- [101:14]
A
I don't know. But I do know that the world is not being so soft. So could you imagine me doing some like that? I can if I can get Mara Lopez shape. Watch me on ESPN2. The the WNBA awards will say something that nobody watches. Like the WNBA section of the ESPN2.
- [101:33]
B
Is all part of the Olympics.
- [101:35]
A
Yeah. And I'm looking up at these giant going you're ovulating on me. You tall. Get away from me. And they go I don't ovulate on my guy. I'M like, oh, I knew it. I was reverse psychology. Brady Griner's a dude. That's all. I'm gonna school shooter anybody jokes she shot. She's definitely gonna shoot up school, man. With that. With that attitude. Damn, Russia. All they did was train her ass train to withstand the cold. A lot of this should not be on the Internet. Like, a lot of the things we say should not be on the. I get it. I understand. I get it. YouTube, we get pissed. It's just, you know what? The person at YouTube blocking us, is that from the comedy show that yelled at me? That's the type of person that hates us. Because I get it. We're not for everyone. But also, I like everyone. These are just jokes. All right? That's all I'm about to say. Something so up, but I'm just gonna leave it be. But it is true. But I won't say it. Let's get out of here, man. Flick the chair right at the camera. Sick. All right, guys.
- [102:48]
B
Sacrifice. That's nice for that.
- [102:50]
A
What site? What? You What? What?
- [102:52]
B
The lens.
- [102:53]
A
Sorry, I think it's a zeitgeist. And like.
- [102:55]
B
No, that's specialty lens point.
- [102:56]
A
Got this guy. Something happened, dude.
- [102:59]
B
Correct.
- [102:59]
A
Social media. Media controls them. That's what happened. And remember, people that are watching this, my whole family's Jewish. Yeah, it's not anti semitic. I met my cousins at the. At the Covina factory. I told you, two of them are black dudes. I can Megatron of races. I just got the last Infinity Stone. I could talk about everybody. Damn near give me an Indian. Oh, Rosie's. Rosie's mom found out because she's adopted that she's part Pakistani. I could talk about everybody now. It's over, dude. You stinky sandy guy. I don't know. I never met a Pakistani. Oh, yeah, I have. I've been to a liquor store before. They own BMWs. That's what I know about Pakistan. He's on BMWs on all the land in Merced. That's all I know. But no, Rosie's mom found out this is part Pakistani. So it's like, dan, dude, I got it all. I got everything. I should become a politician just so I could fix things, but also say the most up so people still be mad at me anyway. Nothing will change actually, with politics. What if, like, a lot of these politicians are really good guys and cool people, but they just keep getting on by this, by the media, and they're like, dog, I didn't do any of that. But you're not posting that. I didn't do that. I saved Nebraska or whatever it is. I don't know.
- [104:26]
B
It's possible.
- [104:27]
A
Guess possible. What if there's a lot of Tommy G's out there we just don't know about? RFK might be a Tommy G. We know. We talked about all the crazy with Sam Morrow.
- [104:36]
B
Tommy G said he was. Tommy G. Likes him.
- [104:39]
A
If Tommy G. Likes him, I think I like him, too, because he is getting rid of all the. In the foods. Yeah, he's been banging a bunch of. And cheating. But, you know, he wears like. Sam. I don't like a guy that wears jeans and workout. I do like a guy that wears jeans and works out if he's over 70, because that means he's got to do. He doesn't have time to put on shorts because there's too much business to attend to.
- [105:02]
B
He works out so much.
- [105:07]
A
All right, let's get out of here, guys. Thanks so much for being here. I appreciate you. That it?
- [105:13]
B
Yeah. We're chilling.
- [105:16]
A
Look at this side of here.
- [105:20]
B
The thing. Yeah.
- [105:21]
A
Oh, it's like when you drop a lollipop on a carpet. That is. You're smoking, your terps are lint, your turps or anything by your house.
- [105:34]
B
I don't know how that got like.
- [105:35]
A
That's crazy.
- [105:37]
B
It wasn't just like that.
- [105:38]
A
Oh, you have a cat. That's why.
- [105:41]
B
No, I keep that cleaner than that. This looks like it has cobwebs on it.
- [105:44]
A
And like, maybe it's when I try to clean it with a paper towel.
- [105:48]
B
Yeah, it has to be.
- [105:49]
A
It has to be. There can't be. That's how it rolls around. It would have burned.
- [105:54]
B
I take pride in my not looking like that works.
- [105:56]
A
This it works. Man. I can't keep figuring mine out. Guys, thank you for being here. I appreciate it. This has been dope, as usual. Podcast. It's Tuesday. Tomorrow's a push tree drop. Friday is unrestricted. Go watch it. We've been doing it remotely. It's so much easier. It's so much more fun because I don't have to actually do four. I know. Under TRA is like an hour, half hour, hour. This wants to drive two hours. I. I have to drive 45 minutes, which is fine, but we're always here for five hours. It's five now. I can just click off and then continue all the business I had to do.
- [106:29]
B
Amazing.
- [106:29]
A
Incredible.
- [106:30]
B
And it's going to be having a live chat real soon.
- [106:34]
A
UN is about to be live. We're about to be able to pop you up. Very excited for that, guys. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. Let's get out of here.
- [106:42]
B
Appreciate you guys.
- [106:43]
A
Thank you for being here. Drop a like. Cuz you know this is Restricted. Drop a like. Hit the notification button. Bell.
- [106:49]
B
Dope as usual. Restricted.
- [106:51]
A
Welcome to Restricted. For real? For real. Jesus. Man. I found an old post and my old account used to be called Dola. Unrestricted.
- [107:06]
B
No, it's crazy. From way back in the day.
- [107:09]
A
Like five years ago, I lost the password.
- [107:13]
B
Oh.
- [107:14]
A
And the page is still up with like 20,000 followers or 10. I can't remember all weed pictures, all weed videos. That's why I put Unrestricted where I posted my weed, my packs, my that. I posted everything. So I kept getting deleted. It's not deleted. After five years of posting weed stuff and I lost the account like three years ago. I can't find the. The password. It's the only account that doesn't get deleted. But it's only weed. I don't like. It doesn't make sense. Logic in earth supposed to work. And when logic doesn't work, I get pissed. That's it.
- [107:48]
B
Yeah, it happens often.
- [107:50]
A
You ever see monkeys when people try to give them food and they're like, oh, take it away. And the monkeys. Loser. That's. That's me with this logic. But yeah, logic, it makes sense. This makes sense. You take it away. Why? That was illogical. And I lose my mind, dude. I got Usher stuck in my head. All right, let's get here. Thank you guys for being here for Marty and I. This has been dope as usual. Restricted. Have a dope ass day. Perfect. Perfect.