Trippin Around the World w/ Ari Shaffir - DOPE AS USUAL Podcast

Summary5 min read

DOPE AS USUAL Podcast – Episode Summary: "Trippin' Around the World w/ Ari Shaffir"

Release Date: April 1, 2025

In this lively and unfiltered episode of the DOPE AS USUAL Podcast, hosts Marty O'Neal and Thomas Araujo engage in a dynamic conversation with guest Ari Shaffir. The discussion spans a broad spectrum of topics, primarily focusing on their personal experiences with various substances, adventures around the globe, and insights into the evolving comedy and podcasting landscape.

1. Early Drug Stashing Adventures

The episode kicks off with stories about unconventional methods of distributing weed to fans. Ari shares his experience of stashing weed behind trees in parks, recounting an encounter where a man approached him unexpectedly.

Ari Shaffir [00:54]: "I was dropping off weed, like, to stash it for, like, fans... And some guy standing behind me, I'm like, what the."

Marty relates this to his own past activities, highlighting a shared culture of creating scavenger hunts for edibles before legalization.

2. Navigating Edibles and Dosages

The conversation delves into the intricacies of edibles, dosages, and the evolution of tolerance over time. Marty reminisces about splitting edibles into manageable doses, while Ari humorously remarks on their abnormal dosage habits.

Ari Shaffir [02:29]: "We do thousands, millions."

Marty shares a cautionary tale about inadvertently consuming a higher dosage, which led to unexpected effects despite initial skepticism.

3. Psychedelics: Mushrooms, Acid, and Salvia

A significant portion of the discussion centers on psychedelic experiences. The trio explores the differences between mushrooms and acid, with Ari expressing a preference for controlled substances like mushrooms over more unpredictable ones like DMT.

Marty O'Neal [05:50]: "It's medicine. It helps me off."

They exchange personal anecdotes about tripping at festivals, the challenges of managing bad trips, and the societal perceptions surrounding different psychedelics.

4. Handling Bad Trips and Set Preparations

Addressing the potential pitfalls of psychedelic use, the hosts and Ari offer tips on mitigating bad trips. Ari emphasizes the importance of setting and suggests methods like isolating oneself from stimuli to regain composure.

Ari Shaffir [87:33]: "By myself. No phone. Nothing where I can interact and change my life with a few clicks."

Marty adds his own strategies, such as disconnecting devices to prevent interference during intense experiences.

5. Ayahuasca Journeys and Jungle Adventures

The conversation takes a deep dive into Ayahuasca experiences, with Marty narrating his transformative trip in the Amazon. He describes encounters with shamans, mystical rituals, and profound personal revelations.

Marty O'Neal [91:10]: "I saw lots of stuff... Shapes and then you just, like."

Ari listens attentively, sharing his apprehensions about Ayahuasca due to family history with mental health issues, yet expresses intrigue sparked by Marty's vivid storytelling.

6. Festivals, Travel, and Drug Culture

Their adventures at various festivals, such as Glastonbury in England and Edinburgh, form a rich tapestry of experiences. Marty recounts vivid memories of interactions with locals, navigating drug distributions, and the unique cultures of each festival.

Marty O'Neal [05:48]: "I saw someone in a panda suit murdering fools in the Pacific Northwest."

These narratives underscore the blend of chaos and camaraderie inherent in festival settings, especially when intertwined with substance use.

7. The Evolving Comedy Scene and Podcasting

Transitioning from personal tales to the broader entertainment landscape, the hosts discuss the golden era of LA comedy and the role of podcasts in revitalizing classic venues like the Comedy Store. Marty reflects on how the DOPE AS USUAL podcast has rekindled interest and support for struggling establishments.

Marty O'Neal [83:54]: "I know, but the podcast brought that back. The podcast brought it back."

They also touch upon collaborations with notable figures like Joe Rogan, highlighting the interconnectedness of modern comedy and podcasting.

8. Personal Anecdotes and Hilarious Mishaps

The episode is peppered with humorous stories, from accidental high dosages leading to embarrassing moments to wild encounters during trips. Marty shares a memorable incident of confusing Ayahuasca with mushrooms, leading to an unexpected and intense experience.

Ari Shaffir [93:57]: "I met somebody down there. And I picked. They're like, remember, you were up here with us, but you fell down."

These lighthearted exchanges showcase the camaraderie and candid nature of the conversation.

9. Reflections on Legalization and Societal Changes

Ari and the hosts reflect on the impact of marijuana legalization, discussing the lingering stigmas and the disparity in its acceptance across different communities. They critique societal reactions and misconceptions, emphasizing the ongoing challenges even in legalized environments.

Marty O'Neal [38:50]: "It's fully back now. We're enjoying it. Don't overuse it. Use it correctly."

10. Concluding Adventures and Future Plans

As the episode winds down, the hosts and Ari discuss upcoming events like Shroom Fest, plans for future travel, and the continual exploration of psychedelics. They express excitement about documenting their journeys and encouraging listeners to partake responsibly.

Ari Shaffir [117:04]: "Everybody get tickets at go to her."

The episode concludes on a high note, blending humor with thoughtful insights into their adventurous lifestyles.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

Ari Shaffir [00:54]: "I was dropping off weed, like, to stash it for, like, fans..."
Ari Shaffir [02:29]: "We do thousands, millions."
Marty O'Neal [05:50]: "It's medicine. It helps me off."
Ari Shaffir [87:33]: "By myself. No phone. Nothing where I can interact..."
Marty O'Neal [83:54]: "The podcast brought that back."
Ari Shaffir [93:57]: "Remember, you were up here with us, but you fell down."
Marty O'Neal [38:50]: "It's fully back now. We're enjoying it."

Final Thoughts

This episode of DOPE AS USUAL Podcast offers an unfiltered glimpse into the lives of Marty, Thomas, and Ari as they navigate the intertwining worlds of psychedelics, comedy, and global adventures. Their candid storytelling, combined with insightful reflections, provides both entertainment and a nuanced understanding of their unique lifestyles. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this episode encapsulates the essence of what makes DOPE AS USUAL a standout podcast in the realm of entertainment and candid conversation.

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Transcript1,290 lines

[00:00]
Ari Shafir
Thank you all so much for watching this episode. We just want to give a special shout out to our friends over at Spotify. So go ahead and check us out on Spotify Dope As Usual podcast. We have comments, there's video, there's short clips. And most important about Spotify. They let us 100 be free. We are fully uncensored every single time. Just want to say thank you so much to Spotify. Have a dope ass day.
[00:24]
Marty O'Neal
Perfect.
[00:30]
Ari Shafir
What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Dope as Usual Podcast Podcast. My name is Thomas Dope as y'all. This is Marty O'Neal.
[00:34]
Thomas Dope
What's up, guys?
[00:35]
Ari Shafir
What's up, guys? Dope as Usual Podcast. We're here to talk about life, drugs, problems, accomplishments, and everything in between. And today is going to be, I think, an array of all of that. Guys, get ready. I'm super excited. Welcome our guest today, Ari Shafir.
[00:46]
Marty O'Neal
Thank you.
[00:47]
Ari Shafir
Thanks for being here, man.
[00:48]
Marty O'Neal
Who wrote that theme song?
[00:49]
Ari Shafir
Zelda and Street Fighter. Oh, it's just all the. The dying noises mashed together.
[00:55]
Marty O'Neal
Really? Yeah.
[00:56]
Ari Shafir
I met that guy in a park.
[00:57]
Marty O'Neal
The guy who did it.
[00:58]
Ari Shafir
Yeah. I was dropping off weed, like, to stash it for, like, fans. But, yeah, come pick it up at Echo park, and some guy standing behind me, I'm like, what the. He's like, here for the stash.
[01:06]
Marty O'Neal
What'd you do? You stash weed for fans?
[01:08]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, it's like, hey, Dash. Yeah, I just leave it behind the tree at a park, come get announced, and people go, oh, my God. And grab it and have a weed for a week.
[01:15]
Marty O'Neal
I used to do that with edibles at ufcs. I have this scavenger hunts way before it was legal.
[01:22]
Ari Shafir
Oh, I don't think it is legal to drop.
[01:24]
Marty O'Neal
What if a kid gets it? I'm like, right? But yeah, I leave it and I have, like, clues of where it is. And people be running around, like, the UFCs, like, MGM and stuff. And one time I went to see if, like, somebody had gotten it, and then some security guards. There he goes. What you're looking for is no longer here. Oh. Like, I guess a bunch of people had come by.
[01:45]
Thomas Dope
What kind of. What were they?
[01:46]
Marty O'Neal
Like, those little breast strips. Those are the easiest.
[01:49]
Ari Shafir
Oh, I remember those.
[01:50]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it was two to a pack. They're like 50. 50 milligrams each. Damn. Which back then was, like, plenty. Now people are going crazy.
[01:57]
Ari Shafir
But, like, gon, man, that's perfect.
[01:59]
Thomas Dope
Two little brush strips.
[02:00]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You cut it in half. Half for the whole year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:04]
Thomas Dope
How many Milligrams messes you up now.
[02:08]
Marty O'Neal
I mean, now I'm. I'm a. Back then, I was like, 50 was my about right amount for like, a UFC.
[02:14]
Ari Shafir
Oh, okay. We're abnormal. Never mind.
[02:16]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, no, you guys are never good lifers.
[02:18]
Thomas Dope
Did you have the OG Joey Diaz banana bread back in the day, for sure.
[02:21]
Marty O'Neal
That me up a bunch of times.
[02:23]
Ari Shafir
Okay. Because I see the stars. I'm like, I think I can need like, a 10 of those and be okay. And then I see people. Damn hallucination.
[02:29]
Marty O'Neal
What's your normal.
[02:31]
Ari Shafir
Oh, dude, we do thousands of millions.
[02:33]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. He got me once on a. He put like a. I think it was a 250. And. And. But he put a sticker over it, said 25. Yeah. And I knew something was up. I could, like, just sense something. I was like. That sticker was, like, crooked. But I didn't. It wasn't enough to make me really think of it. And then, like, 20 minutes in, I was like, wait a minute. I looked and I peeled it off and I was like, What a soda.
[02:59]
Thomas Dope
250.
[02:59]
Marty O'Neal
What a piece of.
[03:00]
Ari Shafir
What a dedication.
[03:01]
Marty O'Neal
Good on him, though.
[03:02]
Ari Shafir
You got me to go find a sticker.
[03:05]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, dude, he's the original villain with that.
[03:08]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[03:09]
Ari Shafir
Oh, that thing that he'd be like, you're doing. It was 400 milligrams, I think you ate out there.
[03:13]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Oh, really? The Ritz cracker?
[03:15]
Ari Shafir
We just like to dupe everybody.
[03:18]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You could tell when something has something in it because the taste is terrible. Unless it's hell. Hella peanut butter.
[03:24]
Ari Shafir
Distill it. Now you can't taste.
[03:27]
Thomas Dope
Did he start laughing once you ate it, or he played off.
[03:30]
Marty O'Neal
Played it off. When I feel he, like, kind of compartmentalized. He just forgets.
[03:34]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[03:34]
Marty O'Neal
He's just like, no, it's the right thing. I didn't think twice about it, you know? And then, like. And then you're like, what is this? He goes, oh, yeah.
[03:41]
Thomas Dope
Was it a horrible trip?
[03:42]
Marty O'Neal
No. I mean, whatever. It's weird. Yeah.
[03:45]
Ari Shafir
We did what, like 4,000. I dosed my friends, I made a dinner and told nobody until they were done. It was incredible.
[03:50]
Marty O'Neal
Nice.
[03:51]
Ari Shafir
Like 15 people.
[03:52]
Thomas Dope
I ate 600 before a wedding recently. That's the most I ever did on.
[03:56]
Marty O'Neal
Acid before a wedding. On acid.
[03:58]
Thomas Dope
On accident.
[03:59]
Marty O'Neal
On accident. Okay. Yeah.
[04:01]
Thomas Dope
That wasn't cool. Too much. Way too much.
[04:03]
Marty O'Neal
What was the accident?
[04:04]
Thomas Dope
I thought it was like 100. I ate it, and then I'm like, 600 our.
[04:09]
Ari Shafir
We have 300, 250, 600. They all the Same packaging? Different.
[04:13]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[04:14]
Marty O'Neal
The biggest were the Los Gumis Zanos.
[04:16]
Ari Shafir
What's that?
[04:17]
Marty O'Neal
They were from NorCal, and it was just like it was before, kind of before full legalization, so you could shape it for children.
[04:24]
Ari Shafir
You know, let's just be honest.
[04:26]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it was little man, and. And, like, just the arm was, like, plenty. And then. And so it was like it was a party for five, but Diaz would just eat them. Those guys were crazy.
[04:38]
Ari Shafir
Hey, man, everybody with weight on them can just do it. I promise, just this extra.
[04:41]
Thomas Dope
You bring back so many memories with these names.
[04:44]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The banana bread was great, but the banana bread had no packaging. The early days of, like, California, too. And it'd be like, people would sell it and stuff. And then the government came in when it was starting to be, like, more medical, more, like legal. They're like, oh, you got to put, like, the calories in here. Yeah, this is food. You can't just have Chex Mix.
[05:02]
Ari Shafir
No, I used to buy it at the shop. Like.
[05:04]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it had just a sticker about this much.
[05:07]
Ari Shafir
That's what I said. Approximate.
[05:10]
Thomas Dope
I was right. When I moved here, you could go on the dispensary, and you're just getting it with, like, some Saran Wrap and a sticker on it.
[05:15]
Marty O'Neal
And sure, Rogan used to have a joke about it. He was like, It'd be like 1x2x3x. But in school, X would always represent something. X represents just nothing. In California, it was just like, idea.
[05:29]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, that was his heavy. Like, he put the world onto edibles. Damn near. He made people understand this. Like, your body reacts to this.
[05:36]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, he would. He would talk about scientifically, like, you know it.
[05:39]
Thomas Dope
He always say it like, me o dmt.
[05:42]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[05:44]
Ari Shafir
Oh, no.
[05:45]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. He goes, it. It's manifest differently in your body when it's edibles versus weed, and it's like.
[05:50]
Ari Shafir
Okay, I just eat it.
[05:53]
Marty O'Neal
I don't need to know the science. I don't need know the science of it. I'm not a dork. Just mushroom. Like, it's medicine. It helps me off. Dude, we're. We're trying to be at a festival.
[06:02]
Thomas Dope
I was listening back when it was on you stream when you guys were at the Ice House. Way back when.
[06:07]
Marty O'Neal
Ice House Chronicles.
[06:08]
Ari Shafir
Mar used to do all the graphics and show stuff for Rogan and.
[06:12]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, really?
[06:12]
Thomas Dope
For Joe for many years.
[06:13]
Marty O'Neal
Damn. Nice.
[06:14]
Ari Shafir
That's how he. That's how we met.
[06:16]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, cool.
[06:17]
Ari Shafir
So for psychedelics, I have a question, and I know you dabble.
[06:20]
Marty O'Neal
Okay. Do you like Dabble. I mean, I don't. I've done it.
[06:25]
Ari Shafir
So you wanted to. I brought my whole rig.
[06:26]
Marty O'Neal
No, no, no. Okay.
[06:27]
Ari Shafir
I brought my rig.
[06:28]
Marty O'Neal
My.
[06:28]
Ari Shafir
I brought everything.
[06:29]
Marty O'Neal
That's when it got out of. Out of control. People putting fire hazards on weed.
[06:33]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, no. I don't know if you're familiar with like the higher levels of like dabbing where it's at. It's like art big. Basically. There's a whole community of people that.
[06:41]
Marty O'Neal
The nails too. It's like you're gonna burn yourself badly.
[06:43]
Ari Shafir
I have it on a.
[06:44]
Thomas Dope
It's all electronic now on electronic nail.
[06:46]
Ari Shafir
You put it in a heater and you take it off so you can't. No more torch.
[06:49]
Marty O'Neal
So you. But can you touch the nail and you could transfer.
[06:53]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, 4 or 500 degree.
[06:54]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. If it falls, it's like. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. I used to have a little. Yeah. That.
[07:01]
Ari Shafir
You don't want to get high, bro.
[07:02]
Marty O'Neal
That's when it's like real drugs. And they were like, they were siphoning it down. People were blowing up.
[07:06]
Ari Shafir
Oh yeah, yeah.
[07:07]
Marty O'Neal
Guys, guys.
[07:08]
Ari Shafir
My brother blew up his house right behind my house.
[07:12]
Marty O'Neal
A little less. When Keith stops working on you, you're.
[07:15]
Ari Shafir
Oh, damn. See, Keef is non existent. No, they've been selling stores anymore.
[07:18]
Marty O'Neal
Really?
[07:19]
Thomas Dope
No, they used to be. It used to be an extra thing.
[07:21]
Ari Shafir
You could buy a little Keith in your eighth.
[07:23]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[07:25]
Thomas Dope
You were in la, but then you moved to New York right around this era, right? Like 2015ish.
[07:30]
Marty O'Neal
12. Yeah, 12. Yeah, I moved away and it was just. It. Was it legal yet? It was. When, when did it become full legal? I mean, it was 18.
[07:39]
Ari Shafir
7. 18 or 17.
[07:40]
Marty O'Neal
Okay.
[07:41]
Thomas Dope
I remember that from New York that year.
[07:42]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, really? Yeah, they're like, they made it fully legal and everybody's like it has been.
[07:46]
Ari Shafir
Talking about you still get arrested for pounds anymore. That's really the only difference, right. You can have 40 pounds.
[07:51]
Marty O'Neal
Ago, my buddy Sandy had a. He was trying to be responsible. He had all his weed for the month. Like he had a baggied up to like, this is what I get per day distribution. And they, they found, they caught him and like this to distribute. He goes, no, it's just for me. Like, come on, nobody's disorganized. Yeah.
[08:06]
Ari Shafir
Label maker for my jars. I'm O.C. danny Tanner.
[08:09]
Marty O'Neal
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. You need a little.
[08:10]
Ari Shafir
No, it's my business again. What is this straight?
[08:12]
Marty O'Neal
There's like 50 jars everywhere.
[08:15]
Ari Shafir
But back what I was saying. Salvia.
[08:17]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[08:18]
Ari Shafir
I've had a Lot of fun times. I've had a lot of bad times. How did you discover salvia?
[08:23]
Marty O'Neal
It was when it was like, at the bookshops, like, Circus of Books. Oh, the place down here And Sunset. It was one on Sunset.
[08:30]
Ari Shafir
They'd sell it to now or something, right?
[08:32]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it would be like. It'd be like. They'd sell it, like. Not even head shops.
[08:36]
Ari Shafir
I got it at a hedge, like a smoke shop once.
[08:38]
Marty O'Neal
Okay. Yeah, but they had. It was like a porn gay dildo and like. And like handsome magazines. And then also salvia.
[08:46]
Ari Shafir
You got vibrators and salvia?
[08:48]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, they'd also, I'm sure, have those little, like, rows in a jars that were just like doubled as crackpipes.
[08:54]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah, yeah. They sell it with the Brillo pads here at the liquor store. So they don't technically sell crackpots, Right?
[09:00]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[09:01]
Ari Shafir
Isn't that. I saw her do. I'm like, wow, a dollar. So worst trip.
[09:07]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I mean, that's salvia. It's like. I think I did it maybe just once.
[09:10]
Ari Shafir
Oh, really?
[09:11]
Marty O'Neal
But it was just like. I was done maybe twice, but it was just like. It's so dirty.
[09:17]
Ari Shafir
It made me feel dirty on, like, discombobulated inside.
[09:21]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, just like. Yeah, yeah. Like the ayahuasca just makes me feel clean. And that just made you feel dirty.
[09:27]
Ari Shafir
Oh, I love taking psychedelics. I want to know more about it. I'm scared of dmt. I haven't taken acid before.
[09:33]
Marty O'Neal
You have not?
[09:34]
Ari Shafir
No, I haven't. Because when I was a kid, my aunt's best friend took it, had a bad one. Now she's schizophrenic and it scared me to death as a kid.
[09:41]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah. If you have schizophrenia in your family, you shouldn't.
[09:43]
Ari Shafir
We don't. So maybe I should.
[09:44]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, go for it.
[09:45]
Ari Shafir
Okay. I just. I eat a lot of mushrooms. Just acid.
[09:47]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, well, then you're fine then. Don't worry about the schizo. No, if you've taken mushrooms and you're fine, you're fine on acid. That is not a scientist talking.
[09:54]
Ari Shafir
But two days later I'm just. Oh, dude.
[09:57]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, that idea that people get stuck that way, that's like. Right. A couple people want schizo, but they're. I think they were gonna. Anyway, she.
[10:04]
Ari Shafir
Her mom was schizophrenic. Makes sense. Yeah.
[10:07]
Marty O'Neal
It can set it off.
[10:08]
Ari Shafir
It scares me.
[10:09]
Marty O'Neal
And if you're on certain, like. Like antidepressants. Certain. Just not all of them smoke weed.
[10:15]
Thomas Dope
Have you ever felt like. Oh, I could see how this could go sideways real bad.
[10:18]
Marty O'Neal
No.
[10:19]
Ari Shafir
Oh, you love drugs. Yeah, that's right.
[10:21]
Marty O'Neal
No. Yeah.
[10:22]
Ari Shafir
Two bad years.
[10:23]
Marty O'Neal
My life. No, it's like, I'm trying to be like. Like, politically correct about it. It was like. Yeah, I guess you should be careful.
[10:30]
Ari Shafir
No, just don't be dumb.
[10:31]
Marty O'Neal
Don't be dumb. Yeah.
[10:33]
Ari Shafir
Don't be stupid. Do you take mass amounts of mushrooms?
[10:36]
Marty O'Neal
I mean, it depends what I'm trying to do, you know, like, what's the.
[10:40]
Ari Shafir
Like, what. What is your intent? What's the craziest intention? I'm not one of those. What? I want to feel this.
[10:45]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I mean, the first time you take it, you just lose it. The first time was like. You don't really know. I think it was like V ones, which are great. And, like, you just take it and you're just gone for a while, but then your tolerance gets up and then those. Those two grams just don't. Just doesn't cut it anymore. Two grams just gets you feeling, like, lucky.
[11:03]
Ari Shafir
I just started doing that, like, little doses.
[11:05]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I kind of.2 grams is not a little dose for a lot of people. Oh.
[11:08]
Ari Shafir
But you know what I mean? Like, why I'm not.
[11:10]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, that's the thing with mushrooms. I'm starting to get this where it's like, treat it like alcohol. Where I'm like, I don't need.
[11:15]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[11:15]
Marty O'Neal
A. Like a bottle of Jack.
[11:17]
Ari Shafir
You don't have to chug it.
[11:18]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I can just have a shot and a beer and feel good and so, like, what's the version of that on mushrooms? It's like 2 grams. It's capping a stem. At a party, you're just more interested in dumb people's lives.
[11:28]
Ari Shafir
That's. I've never. I think it's the opposite. I just want to go in the dark.
[11:31]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can't do that at a party for everybody. You'll just be on the floor. It's no good. Me and my buddy Skip were doing whippets at a party once. Everyone's looking at us like drug addicts, but you're, like, gone for 20, 20 seconds. And it's like. It's like, damn, dude, you're not interacting.
[11:45]
Ari Shafir
Whip it. Have you got into this? I've seen the NOS train has just taken off out.
[11:49]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it's great.
[11:50]
Ari Shafir
You like nas? I've never done any of that stuff. Yeah, when I was a kid, I did whip it.
[11:54]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. It's all the same, right? I don't know.
[11:56]
Ari Shafir
I don't know. I don't know. I Think it's the balloon culture.
[11:59]
Marty O'Neal
Balloons. It's so great. I got out of a Flaming Lips concert once at. At somewhere. Brooklyn Steel, maybe. Somewhere like that. Me and Sal Volcano. I just heard it. I mean, I started doing them in, like, in like. No, it was the call for it. I started doing, like, Thailand at, like, full moon parties. And it was like, okay. Then it was. This guy was like. Was like, worried, like, how do you do it? There's a big canister, you know, balloons. And it was like, how do you do it? And I was, like, worried was me and my friend Sarah and forget who else was there. Pete C. And. And somebody else. And this guy was like, let me show you how to do it. I'm going to stand out at a.
[12:33]
Ari Shafir
Well, you're good.
[12:34]
Marty O'Neal
Pretend I'm. I'll pretend I'm on. You're short. I'm standing 10.
[12:36]
Ari Shafir
You're my height.
[12:37]
Marty O'Neal
And he, like, takes the balloon and he goes. And they just go. And then just falls over, cracks his skull on this. On this concrete. And then we're looking at, like, what the. And then he stood up. He started laughing. He was like, yes. And we're like, what? And then we're like, all right, we'll do it. But.
[12:53]
Ari Shafir
Okay, we'll do it.
[12:54]
Marty O'Neal
Let's start on the floor. Like, I'm gonna sit on my ass and then do it. I would just see the one mistake he made. Too far to fall.
[12:59]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah, you always do truck sitting.
[13:01]
Thomas Dope
We watched all these, like, DMT reaction videos of people doing it, and they started laying down. That was smart.
[13:07]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. But then I heard outside the flame lips, I just heard 1 for 10, 3 for 20 for 10, 3 for 20. And I was like, oh, hell yes. And then Sal was like, what is that? I'm like, dude, we're going. And I'm like, three, of course. And whoever else was there with us, his buddy in Bruio. And we're taking him. I'm on the floor laughing. I'm just dying laughing. You know. You know what it is? You just, like, laugh like crazy, like war. And then. And then. Ss like, it's not working. And I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, it's not working. And he's like. Breathes in a little bit. He goes, sal Volcano. Sal Volano. It's not working, man. And he breathes in more. He goes, s. My name is Sal Volcano. Sal Volcano. And I'm like, what? He goes, it's not changing my voice at all. I'm like, bro, it's not helium, dork.
[13:51]
Ari Shafir
It's not helium. What a straight edge.
[13:56]
Marty O'Neal
It's not working.
[13:57]
Ari Shafir
That doesn't even sound cool.
[13:58]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, like, breathe the whole thing in. He goes, I'm telling. It's not working. And then he was on the floor laughing. It worked.
[14:03]
Ari Shafir
Do you love adventure? I would never buy whippets. Like, three for ten.
[14:07]
Marty O'Neal
Like, the.
[14:07]
Ari Shafir
Away from me.
[14:08]
Marty O'Neal
I know what it is.
[14:10]
Thomas Dope
Do you do shrooms before you go on stage or anything?
[14:12]
Marty O'Neal
I have before, but not. It's not on the reg.
[14:14]
Ari Shafir
Doesn't sound like it'd be fun.
[14:15]
Thomas Dope
Our homie Josh Wolf does it.
[14:17]
Marty O'Neal
Like, religious Josh does all. Yeah, those people who, like, get their tolerance up with, like.
[14:20]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah, he's got. Yeah, he's got terrifying. We do streams on the show with him on here.
[14:25]
Marty O'Neal
Really?
[14:26]
Ari Shafir
I had a bad trip. The last one. I was like, one of two bad trips in my life. Never again on the show. I didn't know if I was still talking.
[14:32]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[14:33]
Ari Shafir
I don't know if I was being here for 30 minutes, not speaking or staring.
[14:36]
Marty O'Neal
You don't want to be recorded. That's it. Like, sets up the wrong environment. People do it at comedy shows, too. And it's like, dude, this isn't right. Because now you're confined to your chair, and you don't be confined on mushroom. You don't be able to get up, walk 10ft, fall down again. Yeah, you're stuck. It's the worst thing to be.
[14:52]
Ari Shafir
It's like being the dmv. It's like, I can't leave, but I want to leave.
[14:56]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, you don't do mushrooms at dmp.
[14:59]
Ari Shafir
I'm saying, being in the stage, like, I can't go anywhere.
[15:02]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, stage is all right, because you just kind of, like, lose a little bit. I took some in Ottawa Music Festival, and I was like, all right, I'll take some. Because it's like, her show was seven. The festival ended at 11. So I'm already, like, not enough time. You know? It's like five hours.
[15:18]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[15:18]
Marty O'Neal
For a good one. Until you're back to, like, okay, I'm fine. Still feeling it, but fine. And then. So I was like, I'll take it. Right before I go on, it's like 30 to 45 minutes. Maybe up to an hour to kick in. It was like, all right, I'll take it before. Right before. And then the show started, like, 15 minutes late, and the host went, like, 10 minutes long. And then it hit me, like, five minutes into my act, and I was like timing, dude.
[15:42]
Ari Shafir
Timing your drugs out. No, that's when you're an adult.
[15:44]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[15:45]
Thomas Dope
Was that that huge fest they do. They do out there?
[15:47]
Marty O'Neal
Blues fest. It was great. I saw Arcade Fire for the first time and just fell in love with them. Yeah. I mean, maybe it was the drugs, but it's real. I always say, like, it was a drugs talking, like. Yeah, but doesn't mean it's not real. It's like molly. It's like, well, you're on molly. Like, I fell in love on Molly. But it's like, yeah, but you're. It's like, yeah, but the molly wears off. The. The love, the feeling still stays.
[16:05]
Thomas Dope
It's fair.
[16:06]
Ari Shafir
We have where I'm from, up north, like Fresno. It's. We had the molly, but it was all cut with trash. It's a lot of mescaline, ecstasy and meth together.
[16:14]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, meth. I like the meth sometimes with.
[16:16]
Ari Shafir
I kind of like it with Ric.
[16:18]
Marty O'Neal
Thank you for saying it.
[16:19]
Ari Shafir
Dude.
[16:19]
Marty O'Neal
Get a little dancy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it. They. They hit each other. It's kind of like, you know, candy flipping and stuff where it's like, oh, yeah, yeah.
[16:27]
Ari Shafir
Especially when I used to chew them. I hate taking the pill. I just chew them. And you can taste it in there. It gets in the back teeth.
[16:34]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it's just like. Yeah, just keep feeling it. Oh, yeah.
[16:40]
Ari Shafir
I like it when he gets stuck in the back teeth. I can just keep looking at my teeth.
[16:43]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. When you want to be dancy, it's dancing. What is pure Molly? Mdma. It's like. It's like. It's good, but it's a different thing. You're just not up. You're not like active.
[16:54]
Ari Shafir
See, I just went and sold a bunch of weed at gangbanger parties. I'm all up.
[16:58]
Marty O'Neal
Just know I'm stay up all night. Yeah, dude. I took some at LCD Sound System. Me, Michelle, Wolf, Soder, and. And Gary Peter. It was just too messy. And I mean, we were all up. So Michelle left my apartment. The rest of this guy left at 4, Michelle after like 7. And then I couldn't fall asleep till like 8pm the next day. And it was like, damn. It just wouldn't get out of here. That was strong.
[17:23]
Ari Shafir
But I would think the worst thing about doing pills and drugs like that is when you start getting that, like, sweat when the sun comes out and start feeling like, what am I doing?
[17:32]
Marty O'Neal
My life. You need a parachute drug.
[17:35]
Ari Shafir
What does that mean?
[17:36]
Marty O'Neal
You need somebody. Some. Maybe Hamilton Morris. Somebody's got to invent something awesome. Yeah. He rules. But like, need something to be like, I'll take this pill and it'll just put me out, then I'm done. That's what we need.
[17:47]
Ari Shafir
Oh, like a, like a. Oh, like you said, parachute blanket and all.
[17:51]
Marty O'Neal
Be all. Yeah, yeah. Kurt Metzger said they used to like, his, his mushroom dealer used to give him one Xanax with it to like when you're ready, go to sleep.
[18:00]
Thomas Dope
Ambient or something.
[18:01]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, something like that. Where like you will be done.
[18:03]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[18:04]
Ari Shafir
I felt steal mushrooms once and that was the weirdest I've ever experienced.
[18:07]
Marty O'Neal
You wake up still.
[18:08]
Ari Shafir
Yeah. Not knowing where I was and my vision felt like turned like, you know, you wake up from being super hungover and you kind of got that wobble. I had that for hours.
[18:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Went to Glastonbury Festival in England and we had a little crew. I didn't. I knew two of them and. But everywhere's cool. The London people brought coke. And then I was like, they're. They're harder to find mushrooms out there. I think it might be better now.
[18:36]
Ari Shafir
Why would it be though?
[18:37]
Marty O'Neal
I don't know. It's like certain communities don't get it. It's weird.
[18:40]
Ari Shafir
It's all rainy and they don't smoke.
[18:42]
Marty O'Neal
Like outside like we do here. I was at a, at a pop up bar in Edinburgh and me and I forget who. Somebody from here, we were smoking weed out like outside and the guy's like, what the are you doing? Have some respect. Like, well, we're. Yeah, we're outside. We're outside. What do you mean? Another time I wasn't let into a bar. They're like, I saw what you did. I'm like, outside your bar. I didn't go in yet. They're like, no, that's disrespectful. I'm like, what I did, I was respectful. I didn't do it in the bar.
[19:08]
Ari Shafir
I'm glad we left them.
[19:10]
Thomas Dope
Right?
[19:10]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, exactly.
[19:10]
Ari Shafir
But the squares.
[19:12]
Marty O'Neal
But anyway, my job was to find mushrooms for the festival. I found two in Wales. I found £2 for the whole group. They were, they were the coke guys. It's fine. I mean I partook but like, which is just festival coffee just gets you going. Festival coffee like that in the morning. Like, oh, I'm so. I only got three hours of sleep. It's sun's coming into my tent, I can't sleep. And it's like, okay.
[19:33]
Ari Shafir
Coming into my tent. I've never experienced this in my life, man.
[19:36]
Thomas Dope
We're not festival guys.
[19:38]
Ari Shafir
Camping. I've never camped.
[19:39]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, camping is great too for it. But. But camping at a festival rules. You just wipe with a wet, wet wipe. Just like shower with a wet wipe. But I took. I took a bunch of mushrooms, divvied up with everybody. Then I. Then I was like, all right, let's different. All of our 10, 15 person group was like, you, you have some, you have some, you have some. So if we get separated, you can just keep re upping. One guy I gave, you know, enough to. And he just immediately it hit him and just wandered off by himself with all the questions. He had never done it before. He did it four straight days, threw his shoes away. Day, day one. And he was like, no, I'm connected now. And just by the end of it, it's great. My Irish buddy, by the end of it, he was like, just all his phone died early on. So he was four days without his phone. And then he finally plugged it in on Monday morning and all the text came in from like work and he goes, this thing, he just threw it.
[20:28]
Ari Shafir
Will do that to you. Yeah, like, why is my name this? I don't like that name. Yeah, why is my face look like this?
[20:34]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but bro, I. So I took a bunch of mushrooms and then somebody recognized me, which I hate being watched. And like, oh. And then I'm like trying to get into some fun EDM guy and I'm like, they're watching me. It feels weird. So I kind of wander off and there's just too much. You just gotta like, sit down and let's lethargic, feel like a mushroom. And then I just like wander off. And then I found this teepee. There's just like. It's weird. It's England, but so some Native Americans, but it's like Native American areas. But it's like clamping in teepees. And a little sign like there, it said, like, if you need a break, come on in. And I'm like, bro, mushrooms will look out for you, bro. It'll send you a parade. It'll send you stuff that. It's like, I didn't know this was happening. It just sends you, like, stuff to. And so I'm like, I do. I desperately need a place to sit where I'm not around people, you know? And then I like went in and it was pretty big. It was like the size of. From that wall to that wall. I went deep in dark. Yeah, dark. And there was a pillow and a little blanket back there. And I just Laid in there pitch. Pitch black. Listen to the sounds of the festival around me. At some point, like 40 minutes later now, I don't know how long, somebody else came in and was like, oh, look, there's a teepee. And then like. And I'm in the dark. He goes, is anybody in here? I didn't say a word. He left in like two minutes. And then when I got my bearings again, then I went back out into the world. I couldn't next day. Could not find that tv.
[22:02]
Ari Shafir
What a great person to set that up.
[22:04]
Marty O'Neal
I know, dude. It's the drug community.
[22:06]
Ari Shafir
No, that's the community. Like, I've been there, dog. I'm going to bring a tv.
[22:11]
Marty O'Neal
It rolled.
[22:13]
Ari Shafir
That's amazing. I was. What was it? By Canada. I was on mushrooms. I'm waiting for him to hit. I'm like, these are. I'm laying in a field by a forest.
[22:22]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And I'm like, hey, these are. Yeah.
[22:24]
Ari Shafir
With two people. I'm like, you guys see this, right? And I just see a panda walking through the forest. My. I'm pretty sure these hit me.
[22:32]
Marty O'Neal
Wow.
[22:33]
Ari Shafir
And this guy's walking on two feet. And I'm like, oh, it's a guy in a suit. And he comes up and goes, watch your videos, man. Hit me with a flashlight and the pitch black flashlight. Love your videos, man.
[22:43]
Marty O'Neal
Out of here. If you look at videos. Why would you do that?
[22:46]
Ari Shafir
Scared the out. He probably watched me go digging some drums. And it was a bunch of people just laying on. On psychedelics in the forest. I left.
[22:53]
Marty O'Neal
You got to know what your situation is and know how to approach people. People on drugs.
[22:57]
Ari Shafir
He hit me hard with the two right the ey.
[23:00]
Marty O'Neal
Come on, man.
[23:00]
Ari Shafir
We're in a full panda suit with just this pitch black in the wilderness by Canada.
[23:06]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, that's not good. Central awareness out of the panda.
[23:09]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[23:09]
Ari Shafir
Maybe he was up.
[23:10]
Marty O'Neal
Maybe it's up. But what? The flashlight.
[23:13]
Ari Shafir
I don't know. But then I saw the article that people in panda suits murdering fools in the Pacific Northwest and Panda suits. Panda suit. You can Google that happened like eight years ago. Like three people got hit with machetes with people in pan.
[23:25]
Marty O'Neal
Somebody lives to talk about it.
[23:27]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, somebody ran off and one of their friends got killed.
[23:29]
Marty O'Neal
Me and Joey Diaz were at. Went to see Roger Waters. Oh, sick. Yeah, he was doing the wall. We took acid. It might have been the first time I've taken acid.
[23:37]
Ari Shafir
Kind of need to.
[23:38]
Marty O'Neal
And we took acid. Then we're like, let's go scalp. Let's go get tickets. We don't have tickets yet. We'll scalp. It's a staple center.
[23:43]
Ari Shafir
You went to a place without tickets.
[23:45]
Marty O'Neal
People were like, we'll just go adventures, dude. This was 15, 18 years ago. It wasn't like everything was on your phone. It was like paper tickets, you know, and we're looking and looking. The only tickets. So the way he set up the wall was. It was the wall, and they were supposed to, like, build it during the. He was playing the wall back, you know, start to finish, and he builds the wall during the show. So they said the only ones you don't want to get are in the corners because you can't see the whole thing. You want to as far back as you want, but you want to be able to see this whole thing. And all we found was corners. And then, like, everything was so expensive. We're like. And Craig Gas comes up to us. He goes, how you guys doing? We're like, good. It's already hitting us, like, good. It's like, maybe he's just talking about business. And. And we're just like, in our heads. We're like, get the out of here, man. Know where you're at. We're in line of see Roger Waters. Chances are we might be up. Some spatial awareness isn't.
[24:34]
Ari Shafir
Don't be disrespectful. Just like London, dude.
[24:37]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[24:38]
Ari Shafir
I went back.
[24:39]
Marty O'Neal
I finally saw him at. In. In Austin. Rogan and Tony Hinchcliffe. It's Tony's favorite band. And so we're like, hey, where should we sit? And Rogan knows Roger Waters is just on a podcast.
[24:53]
Ari Shafir
Jesus Christ.
[24:54]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, I know.
[24:55]
Ari Shafir
Robert Plant.
[24:55]
Marty O'Neal
Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so. And so. And so Joe's like, me and him and Segor and Christ did a podcast. Goes, hey, you want to go to Roger Waters tomorrow? And I was like, no, I gotta go. I got to go back. He's like, why? I'm like, I don't know. I have a plane tick. Goes, I'll just change it. He's like, I have a billion dollars. I'll just change it. I was like, how fun. Yeah, but I got to check out my hotel today. Goes change light fee. Yeah. And it was like, yeah, what am I doing? Yeah, of course. And so they're like, where do you guys want to sit? We'll get you guys anywhere. And I was like, let's go sit in the room. He had this like. It's like a corner screen. And so he's in the round. So you want to sit, like, where it's dead. On so you can see the whole screen if you're in the corner. There's no bad seats, but I'm like, let's go up there. And. And Joe's like, okay, sure. And then we walk by this little private area where it's like, you can sit in this private area. And then we walk by, and Joe's like. And listen, he's a internationally famous. It's different than me. It's different experience. And he goes, no, right. Right here is good. We got enough space. So we went to the intermission, went back there. I'm crying. His bouncer, his Mossad agent, bouncers crying. He wasn't even on anything. The sounds overwhelming. And then after the intermission, hey, I'm going up there. I'm going to the middle. And then Rogan's like, well, hey, we're gonna leave before the last song. Because he, like, plays the last song, then plays into the. Into, like, the hallways and, like. And goes right into his car and leaves. What the.
[26:17]
Ari Shafir
That's badass.
[26:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And I was like, yeah, I'm not missing any of this. This is already, like, the best concert I've ever been at. I'm definitely not gonna miss. So you guys can go. And Joe's like, how are you gonna get back? I'm like, I'll get an Uber or something. He's protective, but he's also an alarmist, so he's like, no, there might not be any Ubers. Everyone's coming out here at the same time. Like, I don't. Then I'll walk, dude. It's a dangerous part of town. And I was like, buddy, I've done drugs in highly illegal countries where the. I'm fine. Thank you for taking care of me.
[26:48]
Ari Shafir
I like to hear things. That's why I'm very well trapped, my friends. Like, what if you get robbed?
[26:52]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, I'm on drugs, too.
[26:53]
Marty O'Neal
They don't have no money. It's. Relax. It's not gonna get my bank account. They're just gonna get what I have in my wallet.
[26:58]
Ari Shafir
The coolest scammer ever. Like, we're gonna go to the ATMs and your crypto.
[27:02]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, right, right. That's. So Joey said he's gonna. Gonna. I'm gonna hold you hostage and make you take out $20 at a time out of your bank account till it's all done. But anyway, I'm sitting there, and they have the triangle form, you know, from whatever. And then this, like, arrow goes through it, the color thing goes through it, and I'M just like, what the. And I'm just weeping. And then there's some lady who like probably saw them like 40 years ago. She's like 80 years old and she kind of looks at me and I'm like, I felt embarrassed, you know, because I'm like, clearly I'm calling crying. Yeah, and that. And I'm like, oh, sorry. She goes, oh, I've been there. I was like, oh, right, you saw them when you were 30. Yeah, right.
[27:40]
Ari Shafir
All those people must be so fun to hang out with though.
[27:43]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[27:44]
Ari Shafir
The coolest stories. All those old people.
[27:45]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, right. Like, like we got down. We just had to get. We had to start our lives.
[27:49]
Ari Shafir
Take a dimple of acid. Yeah, die.
[27:52]
Thomas Dope
What's it been like seeing, like being friends with Joe? Like from when the show was just kind of like this show, like weird, like very relaxed to it. Like when it was with Red Band and then Jamie came in and then it like transitioned to being like the biggest show in the world. When as Joe like got a little bit more serious, I felt like, or.
[28:11]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, get serious about it. I guess he's not serious.
[28:15]
Ari Shafir
If you want to smoke, go for it.
[28:16]
Marty O'Neal
Okay.
[28:17]
Thomas Dope
I think you're like maybe just more conscious like having so funny.
[28:20]
Marty O'Neal
The weed culture in LA is. Is also mixed with the woke culture of la. And so now. And so now what you'd get is everyone. Because of COVID everyone gets their own joint. Oh no.
[28:32]
Ari Shafir
We would smoke this in two seconds.
[28:35]
Marty O'Neal
But I like that here was like, oh, here's your. Like, what do you mean my joint? Like, well, it's germs. I'm like, oh, so everyone's still doing drugs, but they're like conscious of spread of a disease.
[28:43]
Ari Shafir
Honestly, for strangers at events, I'm like, I'll hit it like this, dude.
[28:47]
Marty O'Neal
I went to LCD and I was like, I went to see him once, like ruled and then I saw him again, I was like, this ruled. But I'm like, I want to smoke. But I was like, it's such a, like a community kind of thing. So I brought like 10 joints and there's certain parts I forget which song I was like, that's when everyone should smoke. And I'm just light up and pass. Light up and just like pass them out to the crowd and just go, go, go.
[29:06]
Ari Shafir
I always sneak joints, but they always give me a hard time.
[29:09]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, everywhere. Because you look Mexican, you got to look more white.
[29:11]
Ari Shafir
I. I walk in like this.
[29:14]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, come on, guy, it's your greaser hair.
[29:16]
Ari Shafir
It is the greasy hair.
[29:17]
Thomas Dope
He's half Jewish.
[29:18]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Really greasy hair.
[29:19]
Ari Shafir
Yeah. Yeah.
[29:21]
Marty O'Neal
So you hire yourself to build a deck. Thank you.
[29:25]
Ari Shafir
I said I'll get the best deal for my own family. Yeah, that's what I said yesterday.
[29:29]
Marty O'Neal
Let's go.
[29:31]
Ari Shafir
See? It's not all bad.
[29:33]
Marty O'Neal
You can shorten yourself on the lawn mowing.
[29:35]
Ari Shafir
Shortchange yourself.
[29:37]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[29:37]
Ari Shafir
Do you see what I'm saying?
[29:38]
Thomas Dope
Quick, going to fill in the rest of the blanks for him on your family history.
[29:41]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, like, I'm allowed to say whatever I want. It's incredible because I'm brown and then, like, Jewish people, and then my wife's Asian, and then I just need a black baby, and I can say whatever I want.
[29:51]
Marty O'Neal
You had a black baby?
[29:52]
Ari Shafir
If I had one.
[29:53]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, right.
[29:54]
Ari Shafir
I could be a shield at all times.
[29:57]
Marty O'Neal
That's the power.
[29:58]
Ari Shafir
Oh, it is, dude. I could say whatever. I go like, oh, I can get loans. And also, you're scared of me.
[30:05]
Marty O'Neal
That's funny. Yeah. Rogan got serious about the business of it, but then he just let Red Band and Jamie do it. You know, he wasn't like, he's not in there editing his own garage band. You know, he had enough money to like, yeah, I'm not gonna do it, but I'll get it done. But, like, it's funny. It's like, I have a lot of friends that became more famous and not. You ever have a friend who, like, either gained a bunch of weight or lost a bunch of weight? You still imagine them from before?
[30:31]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[30:31]
Marty O'Neal
So that's all my famous friends are. I. I just, like, I. I knew them then.
[30:35]
Ari Shafir
She has a nicer shirt on.
[30:37]
Marty O'Neal
So it's like, he was, like, a bit of a celebrity, but not. Nothing crazy. So that's how I always see him. I was with the Stefano leaving a Yankee game. So we're going up so everyone could see us, and they were mobbing him. Everybody was mobbing him. And I was like, oh, you hit big, huh? I know.
[30:53]
Thomas Dope
Well, Rogan was like a lightning bolt, and all of his friends all, like, became stars off. Just how. Like, the vibes of the podcast, basically.
[31:02]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Yeah.
[31:03]
Thomas Dope
Crazy.
[31:04]
Marty O'Neal
Everybody. Everybody supported each other.
[31:06]
Thomas Dope
Exactly.
[31:06]
Marty O'Neal
And then, like, yeah. Red Band was like, get started. Get started. You got to do one. I'm like, I don't know. I'll do it for you. Just like, let's go.
[31:14]
Thomas Dope
Let's start early on. Right.
[31:15]
Marty O'Neal
Red Band helped me. Segura Duncan.
[31:19]
Thomas Dope
Your mom's house was on his.
[31:21]
Marty O'Neal
Mine was, too. My old one was. Yeah. But it was like he got Us going. And then eventually, like, I don't want to go down to Burbank. Yeah. But, like, he got us all going. He pushed us, like, kicking and screaming. We're like, I don't know what kind of. He's just. Just do one. Let's go. I got the system. Let's just go. Yeah. Red band ruled. What a podfather. Yeah.
[31:41]
Thomas Dope
Real and Joey Diaz would probably say the same thing, I would imagine, with the church maybe, like, kind of.
[31:46]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I wonder how much. How much? Yeah, I mean, it's just that it was going. There was no money in it too, back then, so it was just like, for fun. Yeah.
[31:52]
Ari Shafir
Like, this one would fighter than kid. When you started same, it was like, well, you guys should just do it. Right? I mean, now look. I mean, now it's become something different. But back then, dudes, like, if you want to hear people talk for hours.
[32:03]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. A lot of people wanted a bad direction podcast. They start getting too serious.
[32:07]
Ari Shafir
I haven't seen those yet.
[32:09]
Marty O'Neal
Serious podcast. No, I don't.
[32:10]
Ari Shafir
I just scroll past that here. We say we have another episode. We do on our website. Because some of the. We say we just get. YouTube hates us, dude. And we. We tend to say a lot. I mean, I don't think it's racist. I just think it's observational.
[32:23]
Marty O'Neal
Listen, they're killing themselves. I'm trying to think of the most racist thing you could say.
[32:32]
Ari Shafir
Shut the. No, dude. So that's.
[32:36]
Marty O'Neal
That's.
[32:36]
Ari Shafir
That's the thing with us. We try to. I mean, we. Lately we haven't been. But we try to do our best, man. But to what?
[32:42]
Marty O'Neal
Not be raised. It's so. Because now it's like, YouTube's like, well, we'll not demonetize you, but, like, demonetize. It's not. We don't care about that.
[32:49]
Ari Shafir
Just.
[32:49]
Marty O'Neal
It's a misconception. We be like, right. It's like, it's not about the money. It's about now. You won't show it to anybody. You won't get views. So it's not like the money's almost nothing but like. But like. Yeah, it's just like. And then people start going, all right, well, we'll bleep this. Or we'll try not to talk about that. But like, now we're. Now we're doing something for outside influence.
[33:06]
Thomas Dope
Yes.
[33:07]
Marty O'Neal
When really you should just be like, let me just see what works for myself.
[33:10]
Ari Shafir
Exactly. I mean, it works. We just get.
[33:12]
Thomas Dope
It's really annoying.
[33:13]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I mean, supermarket version of that is like, we'll put Coca Cola up here and RC Cola down there so less people see it. But like, it's still right there. It's like, it's annoying. You got to type in your whole name and then it comes up, oh.
[33:28]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, 30 second Instagram, dude.
[33:31]
Thomas Dope
So you do well, you deal with the show too.
[33:33]
Marty O'Neal
Then they also post a picture of like a dump. And they go, no, you're deleted. I'm like, no, just let people unfollow me. If you think it's gross, just unfollow me.
[33:39]
Ari Shafir
Oh, you mean an actual piece of.
[33:41]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Oh, I think that's not a piece.
[33:42]
Thomas Dope
But.
[33:46]
Ari Shafir
When. When you take the picture, like, yo, this be sick. I'm post this.
[33:50]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, okay. All right. That's what I was thinking. What's the thought process? I'm not. Yeah, it's like, it's all bloody and stuff, and it's like, I eat too many gummy bears. It's like mixture of gummy bears and. And blood. So it's like red and a couple different reds and it like, flows through like one of those, you know, those, like, Sundays where it's like a cup, but then it's like that. Layers of parfaits. Yeah, it looks like that red McDonald's juice. Yeah. Yeah, I like that.
[34:11]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, they're healthier.
[34:12]
Ari Shafir
Like, my dog, she used to take a. And piss on it. So I'd pick it up and it be terrible. That's what it looks like.
[34:16]
Marty O'Neal
Remember I told you that rules?
[34:18]
Ari Shafir
What a ass.
[34:19]
Thomas Dope
Every morning, dude.
[34:24]
Ari Shafir
Thank you so much for watching. We really appreciate it. But if you want to see more content, check out dope as usualpodcast.com forward/, unrestricted. Also, you can check us out in the app Store. Dope as Usual podcast. We have our own app. Unrestricted is uncensored ad free weekly bonus content, BTs, a bunch of. There's photo shoots in there, a bunch of stuff that we cannot show on YouTube. When you become an unrestricted member, every single Monday, there's a bonus episode with Marty and I. We could play music show clips that would get us banned here. There's a forum, so we talk directly to people and answer their questions. But thank you so much for supporting for everyone on the unrestricted membership. We appreciate you. So go ahead and check it out. Dope as usual podcast.com or click the little link above and that's going to take you directly to it. What's up, guys? Take a moment from this episode to talk about one of our sponsors and our longest sponsor ever. Manscaped. So right now, if you go to manscape.com yolo or click the link below or use our code YOLA at checkout is 20 off of everything on the site, plus free shipping. So we're going to talk about today is the Dome Pro Kit. And this is the slogan. Elevate your head game. It comes with a Power Shave gel, the Pro Dome Shaver, Dome Soother, after shave lotion. You ever see a bald guy, you're like, damn, your head is shiny. He's using that protective cap, travel case, power adapter, usbc, everything. You guys already know what's up with Manscape. Everything is so easy to use, from the weed whacker to the nose hair trimmer to the Pro head shaver. So once again, if you want to take advantage of this deal, go to manscape.com yola or use our code yola at checkout. That's 20% off of everything. The Pro Dome shaver package and free shipping. Also remember, if you're forgetful like most people are, the peak hygiene plan, it's a subscription plan, is going to keep coming every month. You're not going to have to replace anything and knows how much you're using. Make sure you keep yourself and your balls clean this year. Once again, shout out to Manscape. Back to the episode. I want to know why you named your special America sweetheart.
[36:05]
Marty O'Neal
What do you think?
[36:07]
Ari Shafir
I think I saw something happen last year and I went, oh, wait till they see what he talks about. You went on that first date show. She asked you a super, like, nice boyfriend question. You knocked it out of the park for that person.
[36:22]
Marty O'Neal
It's so funny because that my mind could have gone to anything. I mean, I wasn't ready for the question. Let me maybe. How about this? And then it was just like I was. Every woman was like, if he can, he will. What is it? What's the saying?
[36:34]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, if you wanted to, he would.
[36:37]
Marty O'Neal
If you wanted to, he would. Yeah. And then me and Marcella were laughing about it because it went viral a few different times.
[36:43]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, I saw it everywhere.
[36:43]
Marty O'Neal
Just a great date. That's all it was, a great date. I mean, whatever. I like surprises. So. And then he was like. It was like the second or third time went virals. Like, it's so funny because they're like, if you can, he would. This is what a man should be. And he goes, if they knew you, they would be like, get the. Away from me. You're one of the worst people. Why do men always like this? And at the Same time, like, this is the kind of man we need. Like, they just don't know who the you are.
[37:08]
Ari Shafir
You got such an influx of women going. I wonder what he talks about on stage. He took a.
[37:15]
Marty O'Neal
It's not just from that. From America's video. It's just like, in general, I'm like, you know, like a bit of a contrarian, I guess. Whatever, you know, I like the dark jokes. So then it's like. But also. I'm also trying to, through the dark jokes, see the world, make it a better place. I don't know. And I know I'm definitely not American sweetheart. So it's like, it's coming from me. If I can stay positive vibes. It's crazy, right?
[37:39]
Ari Shafir
That's what I wanted to.
[37:40]
Thomas Dope
I felt like you did that in.
[37:41]
Marty O'Neal
The special, but however you analyze, it's fine. It's not in my hands anymore. It's your. It's the viewers.
[37:47]
Ari Shafir
I just thought it was funny. I couldn't wait when I saw. I go, wait till they see this.
[37:50]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah. And it's all like, school shooting jokes and, you know, bringing back retarded. Yeah, bring back retarded.
[37:57]
Thomas Dope
We just. That just came up two episodes ago.
[37:59]
Ari Shafir
Dude.
[38:00]
Marty O'Neal
It's back now.
[38:01]
Ari Shafir
Being. Thank it is.
[38:02]
Marty O'Neal
We did it.
[38:02]
Ari Shafir
And being able to say. I said it compares. Like drinking chugging cold Sprite and you don't get the burn. It's just good.
[38:07]
Marty O'Neal
It's great. Yeah, it's fully back now. There's a little bit of a. Like, oh, the law was changed. It was like, right after New York, they legalized marijuana. And I'd see, like. And I mean, I have a joke about it, yo, but like, they legalized marijuana. I'm like, it's been legal. My black friends, like, it's not been. And I'm like, no, it's been legal. I'm like, I just found out as legal when they made it legal that it had been illegal. And so. But you see black guys on a stoop, you know, they worry about cops just rolling. And I'm like, are you nuts? I'm like, oh, right, right, right, right. Or when medical started here and you're walking out of a store out of Zen or something, and you're walking. You see a cop and you're like, oh. And you're like, no, wait, I'm allowed.
[38:45]
Thomas Dope
It's a store.
[38:46]
Marty O'Neal
I'm allowed. Yeah.
[38:47]
Ari Shafir
Oh, you're going in.
[38:47]
Marty O'Neal
All right. See, like, oh, I have mushrooms here, though. That's still a problem.
[38:51]
Ari Shafir
All this powder.
[38:52]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but but yeah, it was like that. So what are we talking about?
[38:57]
Ari Shafir
It's the weed.
[38:57]
Marty O'Neal
It's the weed. It's gotta be.
[38:59]
Ari Shafir
Talking about.
[38:59]
Thomas Dope
It's gotta be the special retards.
[39:04]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah. So occasionally somebody will be like, whoa. You were like, oh, the law was changed.
[39:07]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[39:08]
Marty O'Neal
Retards back. Yeah, it's back. It's fully back. We're enjoying it. Don't overuse it. Use it correctly. But also you can overuse it because it's not a harsh thing. It's not like the N word or the. Or the F word. It's just like, it's not even that harsh. It's like it was like I lit that up. Retarded.
[39:23]
Ari Shafir
Oh, you said F word. What's that?
[39:25]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah.
[39:25]
Thomas Dope
You're like, they don't mind.
[39:27]
Ari Shafir
They don't mind.
[39:29]
Marty O'Neal
If they do, you've made them mind. You've. Someone's told them that they should be upset about it. It's like, what, a five year old crying about Trump on their own. No way. Okay.
[39:40]
Ari Shafir
When you see young preacher kids like, who did this?
[39:43]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah. That. You didn't just come to that. Somebody told you. Look, look, my child's upset. Oh, that was my favorite thing about LA is making your kid cry so you could post it. Oh, it's your child's privacy. Which will eventually be illegal. You're just doing it to your own child and making them feel terrible. So you could get some likes on a.
[40:02]
Thomas Dope
That's insane.
[40:02]
Marty O'Neal
Someone getting. By the way, he's gonna be the president for the four years. You did it right away. So. All right. You just gotta live with that. They're gonna be nine still crying.
[40:09]
Ari Shafir
Exactly like, dude, ten didn't even matter.
[40:11]
Marty O'Neal
Better. Yeah.
[40:12]
Ari Shafir
I don't care who the president was as a child unless my parents did.
[40:15]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I was like, oh, okay. I kind of found out. Oh, that guy would. All right.
[40:19]
Thomas Dope
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
[40:20]
Ari Shafir
Oh, George Bush. He has a son. That's what I remember. He's a kid. He's the president.
[40:24]
Thomas Dope
Who thought of the set design for the special.
[40:27]
Marty O'Neal
Eric Abrams, my director, where he's always like coming up with ideas that go along with, like, the material. And then it's a question of, like finding the right people to do it in a budget. I mean, it's way too high legato abortions legal or I would not have money to do that.
[40:44]
Ari Shafir
Wow.
[40:44]
Marty O'Neal
And then it's like. And then it's like, well, we can do something real shitty for like a ton. And I'm like, oh, no, it let's rethink the design.
[40:50]
Thomas Dope
You're talking about just dressing the set.
[40:51]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah. And so then you find someone who. This one was Kronzer, who does all Kill Tony's live stuff, too, which we found each other separately. James Kronzer and then Foundry in dc. And they were like. They were like, I don't know if we can do that for your budget. And then I kind of like, what do you want to do? And we just got a meeting with him. I was like, here's what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say everybody's got to calm down. Everything's pretty good. Focus on good stuff. There's tons out there. You know, we can smoke weed all the time. You know, if you get a parking ticket right now, I'm like, but it's like, yeah, but think how cool it is. You can just smoke weed on camera in la. Sure, the parking ticket's bad, but focus on the. You know, and then I told them the whole thing, and I'm doing that through murder and Holocaust jokes, you know, drug addict. And then. And then they go, all right, actually, we like that idea. And they're like, we'll just. We'll just do this for. We'll just make less money. Let's get behind it. And then I walked in. They went nuts. They went crazy. Yeah. The last one with Jew was Lady Lauren Helper, and she also just, like, went crazy. She was like, I get it. I want to be part of this. Let's do it.
[41:58]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[41:58]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. It's pretty. It's pretty stokey to, like, work with him. People who want to, like, do something. Yeah, yeah.
[42:05]
Thomas Dope
Super enthusiastic about it.
[42:06]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, totally. If you help facilitate, it's like, cool.
[42:09]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah. See, I love ideas, but I can't build.
[42:13]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, yeah.
[42:14]
Marty O'Neal
You see some muralist painting some cool, like, illegal mural, and it's like, you want to watch for cops for you for, like, five minutes. I don't have to go. They're like, yeah, okay, thanks. Like, yeah, I'm just, like, helping it in some way.
[42:26]
Ari Shafir
Clap.
[42:27]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah.
[42:28]
Ari Shafir
Not the dude like this. We had our friend build it. He's a white guy that speaks fluent Spanish. And all the Mexicans were so upset that I had this white man come build stuff. All done.
[42:38]
Marty O'Neal
That's funny.
[42:39]
Ari Shafir
It's pretty incredible. They don't like me.
[42:40]
Thomas Dope
You want to hear funny? You want to tell them about your mom's life choices?
[42:45]
Ari Shafir
Oh, okay. You know, my grandma, my whole family's Jewish, and my grandpa's a Mexican dude. So.
[42:52]
Marty O'Neal
Keep it Jew. Yeah.
[42:53]
Ari Shafir
There you go. My mom, when I was a kid, it's. It's just. It's ridiculous. My stepdad was like a white supremacist, going to the week, the jails, prisons every weekend to visit him. And my mom did it to piss my grandma off, which is a very. That's who I was raised by.
[43:10]
Marty O'Neal
Nice.
[43:11]
Ari Shafir
Not a lot of good choices, right? Good. White is right everywhere. A lot of. A lot of, you know, bolts and stuff. But he liked me.
[43:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah.
[43:20]
Ari Shafir
But going. Like I said, going.
[43:21]
Marty O'Neal
What are bolts?
[43:22]
Ari Shafir
The lightning. SS bolts.
[43:24]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, nice.
[43:25]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, yeah. Now, you know, it's not like I.
[43:29]
Marty O'Neal
Was slow on that. It's a weed. I should have got it. But.
[43:32]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, no, that's Marty. Everybody's so fascinated by it all the time. He taught me Spanish, which is the funniest part. He's. Yeah, yeah, he's. He's wide as.
[43:41]
Thomas Dope
Very limited Spanish.
[43:42]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Do you ever get Arabs thinking you're Arab? The.
[43:45]
Ari Shafir
Everyone thinks I'm Armenian.
[43:46]
Marty O'Neal
Armenian.
[43:47]
Ari Shafir
Everyone here thinks I'm Armenian, dude. Because everyone else is Armenian but me.
[43:51]
Marty O'Neal
You know what's funny is, is I live in New York. I grew up in Maryland. I travel for work outside of really la, but definitely LA county or Southern California. No one even knows what an Armenian is, really. Yeah, they can barely say it was even a country. And they. I don't know any of the stereotypes. They don't know that if somebody pulls up next to you, like, hey, buddy, you fix that dent. I fix that dent in your car right now doing error. But like, yeah, I'm not good. I'm not good at impressions or accents. But. But, like, that's an Armenian. Who does that. No one even knows what you're talking about. You make an Armenian joke in New York, people like, I've never heard of any of this.
[44:34]
Ari Shafir
He never saw Mexicans before he moved from New York. Yeah, we don't have Mexicans. We have Puerto Ricans.
[44:39]
Marty O'Neal
Yes, exactly. Yeah. I moved here for when from Maryland. And it was like. And they were like, yeah, next to the neighbors, Mexicans. And I'm like, whoa, what is this? I was like, that's the racist thing to say.
[44:50]
Ari Shafir
All of you live in there.
[44:51]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And I never even comprehended that. Like, well, there are people from Mexico, but it was just the umbrella term. And that was the wrong thing to say, the evil thing to say. So we're like, whoa, you can't say that. And then they're like, well, they're all from Mexico. Later was the Guatemalans and the Hondurans, but, like, they're all from Mexico.
[45:08]
Ari Shafir
Oh, I didn't even know what those guys were.
[45:10]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[45:10]
Ari Shafir
My whole life I was like, what's in Honduran?
[45:12]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, where is it?
[45:13]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, then why is it on the map? Then why isn't it on the map?
[45:17]
Ari Shafir
Dude, it looks like me.
[45:18]
Marty O'Neal
It is like, what? I haven't seen it.
[45:20]
Ari Shafir
It looked like me. Like Mexicans. You Middle Eastern, now you're Mexican, huh? That's a Honduran.
[45:25]
Thomas Dope
Oh, okay. Like El Salvador. All those countries, all those where they.
[45:29]
Ari Shafir
Stab you a lot.
[45:30]
Thomas Dope
That, those, those, those moped countries.
[45:32]
Marty O'Neal
It's Greater Mexico.
[45:34]
Ari Shafir
Greater Mexico. The outskirts.
[45:35]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[45:36]
Thomas Dope
South America.
[45:37]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, dude.
[45:37]
Marty O'Neal
Like the caravan. Remember how worried everyone is about the caravan?
[45:40]
Ari Shafir
What's that?
[45:41]
Marty O'Neal
Do you remember it?
[45:42]
Thomas Dope
No.
[45:43]
Marty O'Neal
There was a bunch of migrants coming from Venezuela or something.
[45:46]
Ari Shafir
I've never paid it.
[45:47]
Marty O'Neal
And they were trudging their way up through, through Latin America to and to the border. I think it was when Trump was running the first time or the second time and everyone was super worried about it and both sides were weighing in. You don't remember it? The caravan from Venezuela we have never re looked at. That's great. And then the day after the election, it just magically disbanded. And neither side cared or talked about it because it was always a fake thing.
[46:14]
Ari Shafir
It's just stock footage of a bunch of fool, like, get in a boat and look like you're dying.
[46:18]
Thomas Dope
Were they like live streaming or something?
[46:20]
Marty O'Neal
They kept going down there and reporting on it, but they were trying to misreport it. Like, the first time I went to like a talk show, it's like, you get in there, like, oh, there's only like 50 seats in here. I thought it was like a thousand, but they just do the cameras like this. They just show like, you know, rodeo drives the same way it's always in the movies. You figure it's like a mile long. It's like, oh, three block, block.
[46:37]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, nothing.
[46:38]
Marty O'Neal
And then all they do is like, look at this door. And that.
[46:41]
Ari Shafir
And that's.
[46:43]
Marty O'Neal
We showed all of them. Yeah.
[46:45]
Thomas Dope
Speaking of which.
[46:46]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[46:47]
Ari Shafir
What, what are you going to say right now?
[46:48]
Thomas Dope
We've. We've talked about this many times. What was it like filming those intros for?
[46:53]
Ari Shafir
Incredible intro.
[46:54]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah. They were fun. That was a. That was a amazing pig for that.
[46:58]
Ari Shafir
And why, who chose? Like, let's go commando.
[47:01]
Thomas Dope
Let's do everything we possibly can.
[47:03]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[47:05]
Ari Shafir
What a wild thing for people.
[47:07]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Just went nuts. We told Comedy Central. I'm like, let us go nuts. And they're like, nah, let's just recreate what we did last time. I was like, that's crazy. What are you talking about? We did something cool last time. Let us go nuts, go Bollywood.
[47:18]
Thomas Dope
How would you film those? Just, like, in a green screen or some. Like, how do you even deal?
[47:21]
Marty O'Neal
No, just. There's locations all over here. There's. There's filming going on, I guess, in Los Angeles and around. So there's all these, like, houses that do it, like, you know, fake backdrop. So you'll see if you look carefully. You've seen them in, like, 50 movies from, like. From, like, Sicario to, like, Afghanistan. These things can play anything.
[47:42]
Thomas Dope
Oh, gosh.
[47:42]
Marty O'Neal
And they just dress it up. The Fox lot there, it's all like. It's the 1950s New York. It's like two blocks, and the building is this wide. Oh, I've seen it.
[47:50]
Ari Shafir
Like a Universal ride. They show you. Yeah. It always makes me feel. Just played like, Kevin McAllister's house is flat.
[47:58]
Marty O'Neal
All right. This.
[48:00]
Thomas Dope
But it's not. Remember?
[48:02]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah. That fool bought the house.
[48:04]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah.
[48:05]
Ari Shafir
Bought the home alone house.
[48:06]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, really?
[48:07]
Thomas Dope
But they filmed it in a gym, right? Didn't we just.
[48:09]
Ari Shafir
Oh, we just watched it. It was like the local gym. They did the entire Home Alone set inside of a school gym.
[48:14]
Marty O'Neal
Wow.
[48:15]
Ari Shafir
Dude, honestly, just use the house. I'm not building.
[48:17]
Marty O'Neal
I did a commercial once that built a house in a warehouse so they could film without having to worry about light. They built a whole facade of a.
[48:24]
Ari Shafir
House, and there's no room.
[48:25]
Marty O'Neal
And it was like you had to come to the door for Domino's or something.
[48:28]
Ari Shafir
Film is so weird.
[48:29]
Marty O'Neal
It's so weird.
[48:30]
Ari Shafir
Let's redo this.
[48:31]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[48:32]
Ari Shafir
We're out in a field.
[48:33]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. This when they have, like, horse and they go like, this is people. Yeah, Coconuts go like that. Like, that'll be a horse. It'll sound like a horse.
[48:39]
Ari Shafir
Hey, man. That aspect is kind of cool.
[48:42]
Marty O'Neal
It is.
[48:42]
Ari Shafir
I once made our friend's mom think we're at the football game. We all just. And scream behind, and she hung up. It was great. So I get it.
[48:49]
Thomas Dope
I work on commercials where they take over the whole neighborhood.
[48:52]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[48:52]
Thomas Dope
And, like, people just be sitting in their yard for, like, the full day with their dog watching on the whole c. Yeah. Meanwhile, they come out, they rip off the doors, they rip off all the plants. They rip off the whole garden. They just change your whole house.
[49:06]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, wow. Yeah.
[49:07]
Thomas Dope
For, like, three days.
[49:09]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. He does all the stream makeover.
[49:11]
Ari Shafir
Yes, exact. All the, like, the T Mobile, right?
[49:14]
Thomas Dope
Yeah. These are for. Yeah, not even like just for like T Mobile commercials. Wow. Yeah.
[49:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. It's also. I was in a porn shoot. I just went to watch.
[49:23]
Ari Shafir
When? Recently?
[49:24]
Marty O'Neal
No, I was 15, 18 years ago.
[49:26]
Ari Shafir
Invited or did you ask?
[49:28]
Marty O'Neal
Somebody was working in the porn world, is it going to see a film? And I was like, yeah, it was up in the hills.
[49:32]
Ari Shafir
Okay.
[49:32]
Marty O'Neal
And I was like, okay. The couple like, what things that bothered me was like the only thing that really bothered me. You see it going on. You're like, wow, you're behind the camera, it's fine. Then you go like, I'm go take a pee in the bathroom. It's somebody's house. And then someone's sitting there to like put on the couch. Someone lives there, but they're like rent it out for like 10 grand a day or more.
[49:51]
Ari Shafir
Do they know that the porn shooting there?
[49:54]
Marty O'Neal
No, for sure. I think if they want to know like what it is, then they can. They could probably be like, no porn. But like then people were doing that with Airbnbs too, but. But then I actually did a commercial and I shot in the same house like five years later. I'm like, I've been here before. The most disruptive part to my brain was I went to the bathroom to pee. And it's just the. The toilet, the trash can is not full of tampons. It's full of enemas. Yeah. It's gotta all clear out their. All the time.
[50:24]
Ari Shafir
And if I was watching porn, that's my room, I mean, I'd be so upset.
[50:30]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. They still watch it. Make sure they don't dent anything. But they don't really care what you just on.
[50:35]
Ari Shafir
They can wipe it down.
[50:36]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[50:37]
Thomas Dope
How like professional was it? Was it like some creep with the tripod or was it.
[50:40]
Marty O'Neal
No, it was pretty professional. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like little. They set up craft food.
[50:46]
Ari Shafir
I've seen the picture of a poor. And the guy's eating and he goes, how? And the guy's eating like taco salad. And there's porn being shot next to him.
[50:52]
Marty O'Neal
Wow. So desensitized. It's crazy.
[50:55]
Ari Shafir
Hey, man, desensitized. It's like strip club. Oh, your whole butt's out.
[50:59]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. But then 20 minutes later, excuse me. He just like, don't even see it. I was at a nightclub in Berlin and it was like. It was like. I saw. I mean, you start it right away like, oh, my God, they are sexually active here. Oh, in.
[51:12]
Ari Shafir
In Germany.
[51:13]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And then like, you see fisting whatever. And then like, it's the first thing I saw, buddy. It's crazy.
[51:18]
Thomas Dope
At a regular club or you knew.
[51:20]
Marty O'Neal
It wasn't a club like that. It's just a club where they're like. That's just happened. It's like people making on the dance floor. It's like, you know, that's our version of that. And yeah. Then six hours later, eight hours later, whatever, you see some lady on her knees just sucking this guy up. And then at that point, it was like, yeah, whatever. Like within six hours, I walked by it this far and I'm like, anymore? Anyway. Oh, there's no line at this bar. I got to get over.
[51:44]
Ari Shafir
Your head's touching my head.
[51:45]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You would get desensit to porn within a day.
[51:48]
Ari Shafir
Oh, I could only imagine the guys that direct it.
[51:51]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Oh, how are they in regular life? They must be like, so, like, creepy to people.
[51:56]
Ari Shafir
Ever hit on a girl Every. Like, I really. I know what you look like naked. I don't care.
[52:00]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, the conversation of, like, guest booking a porn star on a set is. It's got to be horrible. Like pitching ear the craft table.
[52:09]
Ari Shafir
What is this? Porn star Drake?
[52:11]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, kind of snacks.
[52:13]
Ari Shafir
I mean, I'm sorry. If I saw a bunch of animals, I'd leave me. I'll be so upset.
[52:17]
Thomas Dope
That's. That's like disgusting.
[52:20]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[52:20]
Ari Shafir
This should be a bucket.
[52:22]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Put a lid on it. Yeah, yeah.
[52:24]
Ari Shafir
It's like.
[52:27]
Marty O'Neal
Too casual. They think it's a big deal. Porn star's always like, casually bringing up squirting and lady, this is a fucking private conversation. Like, poor Denny's. Dude, chill.
[52:39]
Thomas Dope
It just reminded me of that Chappelle. But what do you say you're over here asking me. I'm trying to tell you about my wife in the house. You're asking me who I'm voting for?
[52:45]
Ari Shafir
Oh, it's always trying to tell you about my wife in the ass. Why? People will say anything except who they voted for. I've never voted. Oh, no, I did. I tried to vote once and they told me, you're on the wrong side of town.
[52:57]
Marty O'Neal
What?
[52:57]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, because not your jurisdiction, the wrong side of town. That's what they told me. And that was on the nice side too. So I felt even worse mid lunch break at pizza. I was selling weed and selling pizza. I'm gonna go vote and make it.
[53:10]
Thomas Dope
I couldn't sound more like racial.
[53:11]
Ari Shafir
He told me, you're in the wrong side of town. Not your jurisdiction with me. I remember lunch break. I tried, dude, Never so funny.
[53:21]
Marty O'Neal
You're in the wrong place. Like, well, can I just do it?
[53:24]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, just do it.
[53:24]
Thomas Dope
I thought you could just vote anywhere.
[53:26]
Marty O'Neal
That's what I assume they gotta start doing online. This is to make sure nobody can rig it but bots. But yeah, just vote.
[53:33]
Thomas Dope
It would make way more sense.
[53:34]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[53:35]
Thomas Dope
Sign in with your Social Security, sign.
[53:36]
Marty O'Neal
In with your thing, and then it's.
[53:40]
Thomas Dope
Got to be smarter than the way it is now.
[53:41]
Marty O'Neal
It's gotta be. It's gotta go across town. You gotta go, well, I'm here to vote. Like, you're in the wrong spot. Like, well, then I'm not voting. Yeah. I don't have another hour to go across town. Then back here again.
[53:49]
Ari Shafir
Thank you. Also, people that have the.
[53:52]
Marty O'Neal
Just do it online. Nobody orders a pizza in person anymore.
[53:55]
Ari Shafir
I called the other day and the guy was like, delivery?
[53:58]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Oh, I guess the orders just come in.
[54:02]
Ari Shafir
You're surprised I didn't call. I use the Internet, dude.
[54:05]
Marty O'Neal
Gotta do voting. A person where you can start a fight with somebody.
[54:08]
Ari Shafir
Well, that and everybody that's doing vote has the time of the day to be there all day. So what the were they?
[54:12]
Thomas Dope
That's a good point. It's a volatile, like, meeting point.
[54:15]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, I never thought about that.
[54:17]
Marty O'Neal
I do voter fraud. What? I do voter fraud.
[54:20]
Ari Shafir
What's that?
[54:21]
Marty O'Neal
I try to commit voter fraud whenever.
[54:23]
Ari Shafir
I can, like, under a different name or something.
[54:26]
Marty O'Neal
Any sort of ways.
[54:27]
Ari Shafir
Tell me one, because this sounds kind of fun.
[54:29]
Marty O'Neal
Misuse a vote. You know how they say, like, it's rigged, some people are voting that are dead? Stuff like that. I try to facilitate that in any way possible. Not about his side. Anarchy. Yeah. Make a mockery of the whole thing. Oh, I love every vote. Every vote counts. Everyone matters. And then some. Some years, it's like, all right, this guy already won. He's already got enough states. But Hawaii can still vote for the next two hours. I'm like, but this guy already got enough votes. And, like, well, their vote counts in Hawaii. I'm like, but it's already called. It's so dumb. So just disruptive. It's so much more fun disrupted. You get. You get someone's mail in ballot, give it to a homeless guy, let him vote. So that means one guy getting his vote. This homeless guy's taking it. He's a felon. He's not even allowed to vote. Even if he could get the fucking wherewithal to vote. Voter fraud, bro. It's the best. You can sell your vote now you do mailing, you can sell it. People think Voting really matters. Well, then you want to pay for mine, don't you? Let's go. What's it worth to you if your vote is so. Goddamn.
[55:28]
Ari Shafir
I've never crossed my 18 bucks.
[55:30]
Marty O'Neal
Voter fraud, bruh.
[55:31]
Thomas Dope
I wonder how much that's worth.
[55:32]
Marty O'Neal
Any which way you can. Opportunities will arise when you face them.
[55:35]
Ari Shafir
So every time they. They mail you a ballot, just different name.
[55:38]
Marty O'Neal
Also, the. You know, anytime around that time, if you're in any building and. And the mailman's there, it's like, what is that for? Oh, yeah, that's us. I'll take it. And then just. Just put all the rest down, you know, you don't be an.
[55:52]
Ari Shafir
That's a felony.
[55:53]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever. In their books.
[55:57]
Ari Shafir
I didn't vote for that.
[55:58]
Marty O'Neal
I don't vote for that. Yeah, yeah. It's not my. It's not my laws. I didn't vote. I didn't see a single one that said what I wanted, which was like, commit more voter fraud and steal from the postal service.
[56:07]
Ari Shafir
It's always. I didn't know that was legal. It's the best thing.
[56:10]
Marty O'Neal
I didn't know that was illegal.
[56:12]
Thomas Dope
Another Chappelle that. I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't know. I couldn't do that.
[56:15]
Ari Shafir
Oh, there you go. Thank you. I like that, Marty. Damn, I thought I just made that up.
[56:23]
Thomas Dope
Back in the subconscious.
[56:24]
Ari Shafir
Yes.
[56:24]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, he's so funny.
[56:26]
Ari Shafir
Yo, I have a question for you in. When I was 14 years old.
[56:31]
Marty O'Neal
That's not a question.
[56:32]
Ari Shafir
I got on. Oh, it's gonna go okay.
[56:34]
Marty O'Neal
All right.
[56:34]
Ari Shafir
I was 14. I saw this thing on Ebaum's World.
[56:37]
Marty O'Neal
Nice.
[56:37]
Ari Shafir
And then I saw this thing on Rotten. And then I saw this thing on early YouTube and it was called the Amazing Racist.
[56:43]
Marty O'Neal
I've heard of that.
[56:43]
Ari Shafir
I've heard of it, too. And since he was a child, I've been showing it. He's. I've been. This is my brother. I've been showing everybody. I know everything since I've been alive.
[56:52]
Marty O'Neal
That's your brother? Brother. It's my little brother. Different dads, really? Yeah. You see?
[56:56]
Ari Shafir
You guys see eye to eye.
[56:57]
Marty O'Neal
Can I guess something? You're older. You know how I know?
[57:02]
Ari Shafir
Because I'm old?
[57:03]
Marty O'Neal
No, because you were bigger growing up and you were the first. All the food. No, not behind. For him. No, he had scraps. He had only the breading.
[57:10]
Ari Shafir
That was Danny DeVito and Arnold.
[57:13]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, Twins.
[57:14]
Ari Shafir
I got the scraps.
[57:16]
Marty O'Neal
Your mom made the right amount of food for the. Both you and you platformed it and just no he grew up on corn dogs. What?
[57:24]
Ari Shafir
Frozen foods?
[57:26]
Thomas Dope
It's the opposite, actually.
[57:27]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[57:27]
Marty O'Neal
I was poor as a child.
[57:30]
Ari Shafir
It was Auschwitz at my house. We had no food.
[57:33]
Marty O'Neal
I like to say nice. Yeah. Amazing Races were the best. Dude. High school.
[57:41]
Ari Shafir
Well, I mean, I've been. It's not. We don't watch them still. Yeah, we brought up the. I brought some different. No, I. I think they're. They're equally as awesome as when I first saw them. I have a question, though.
[57:52]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah? What part?
[57:55]
Ari Shafir
Without what's. What's. What's. What's scripted and what's not scripted?
[57:59]
Marty O'Neal
Because.
[57:59]
Ari Shafir
Can I guess?
[58:00]
Marty O'Neal
Hold on. Yeah, that's always better. I gotta start doing this. People ask me a question. What do you think?
[58:04]
Ari Shafir
All right. Can I guess?
[58:05]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[58:07]
Ari Shafir
I think the guy that looked like Jason Biggs was. Was not scripted.
[58:11]
Marty O'Neal
I'll be honest with you. I don't know which one you're talking about.
[58:14]
Ari Shafir
The guy that looked like the kid from American Pie. You're like, oh, pie.
[58:17]
Marty O'Neal
I called someone a pie.
[58:19]
Ari Shafir
No, that's. What. His name.
[58:20]
Marty O'Neal
I know. Jason Biggs. I can't remember. Racist.
[58:23]
Ari Shafir
The Jewish grocery store. You go, in you go Jerry Seinfeld, but it's not. Then you call the other guy, the.
[58:27]
Marty O'Neal
Guy from American P. I called him that. No, he looks like that. Damn. I can't remember.
[58:35]
Thomas Dope
Damn.
[58:36]
Ari Shafir
Maybe it was a Seinfeld one. Maybe I mix it up.
[58:37]
Marty O'Neal
No, I. My memory of it is not. I haven't seen him in a while.
[58:41]
Ari Shafir
Oh, so do you. Were. Were any of them genuinely real at all?
[58:46]
Marty O'Neal
What do you think?
[58:47]
Ari Shafir
I think. Yeah, I think 30% were real.
[58:50]
Marty O'Neal
30?
[58:51]
Ari Shafir
I think 30.
[58:52]
Thomas Dope
You mean like improv by real?
[58:54]
Ari Shafir
I think the Mexican in the cage. There's no way that guy went with you willingly. I don't think so. I think that was scripted. I don't know. It's great either way. I just need to. Even if you want to buy. Don't want to ruin it.
[59:04]
Marty O'Neal
30% at least, right? It's a insulting number.
[59:09]
Ari Shafir
Oh, they're real. Like that.
[59:11]
Marty O'Neal
30.
[59:12]
Ari Shafir
There's no way you got that man to put tape on his eyes.
[59:14]
Marty O'Neal
More than two thirds was. Was made up.
[59:16]
Ari Shafir
Not me. It's scripted.
[59:18]
Marty O'Neal
A little scripted.
[59:19]
Ari Shafir
I don't know.
[59:20]
Thomas Dope
Look it like a reality.
[59:21]
Ari Shafir
As a fan for literally a long, almost two decades, I still don't know.
[59:26]
Marty O'Neal
What do you think? What do you think?
[59:28]
Thomas Dope
I watched him for the first time today.
[59:30]
Marty O'Neal
For the first time?
[59:31]
Thomas Dope
Yeah. Oh, I wasn't on all the Internet.
[59:33]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah, he's terrible.
[59:35]
Marty O'Neal
You're supposed to watch him as a 14 year old. It's your right. That's the new American bar mitzvahs to watch The Amazing Race.
[59:40]
Ari Shafir
14, 20 drunk nights at 20, 21, 22.
[59:43]
Thomas Dope
One that stood out was selling boat tickets back to Africa.
[59:47]
Ari Shafir
Oh, free rides. Free rides. Not you.
[59:52]
Marty O'Neal
Don't misconstrue it. They're free.
[59:55]
Ari Shafir
And your homie with the little leather.
[59:57]
Marty O'Neal
Roman Dante.
[60:00]
Ari Shafir
Slave ownership. Some. It was terrible. Got this bucket. It's never gonna not make me laugh. A Mexican one.
[60:07]
Marty O'Neal
I still. It's so wrong. It's so wrong that it's like, what the.
[60:13]
Thomas Dope
Is that what you get most? Like when people come up to you or.
[60:16]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, they love it. People love it.
[60:18]
Ari Shafir
If they didn't, they would never.
[60:19]
Marty O'Neal
But it's just like, oh, my God. It's like you start watching. You like, shut the door. Shut the door and keep watching. It's like this trouble. Bunch of cops got fired in Seattle once for passing it around on company.
[60:29]
Ari Shafir
For showing it.
[60:30]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Somebody saw it. They, like forward it to their friend. But it was like, you use your company. It's like YouTube. Yeah. And so. And then somebody some. I guarantee white lady found out and. And then they all got in trouble. Like six, eight people got fired. Like, I didn't do it, but that sucks.
[60:48]
Ari Shafir
Liaisons for every race. Like, Mexican. Like, I'm Mexican. I think it's fine. And every white woman's going to go, okay then.
[60:55]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, right. Exactly.
[60:56]
Ari Shafir
Cuz never. Mexican goes, I'm offended.
[60:58]
Thomas Dope
That's kind of a gangster credit for a comedian.
[61:00]
Marty O'Neal
What, to get cops fired.
[61:02]
Ari Shafir
Cops fired. Over.
[61:03]
Marty O'Neal
I think I was actually in Seattle, like, not much longer, and I was like, tell those people they come to the show for free. Luckily, I wasn't selling out, so there was extra tickets. But I was like, get them all.
[61:11]
Ari Shafir
Just a bunch of unemployed dudes stared at you.
[61:14]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it's a flex. I got cops fired. Yeah, they always do it. But then if you're brown, you're okay. I had one on Edmonton Radio and I said something about Jews. It's like a precursor to a joke. It was like, Jews like pugs. The of the human world because we're so inbred. And then some lady found out. She goes, these radio DJs are terrible. They have to be. They have to be fired. And then someone's like, no, the Ari said that. And. And they go, oh, oh, okay then. And I'm like, what do you mean? Where's the anger?
[61:42]
Ari Shafir
See, it should still be. That's what we talk about. Shut the up.
[61:46]
Marty O'Neal
Who cares? I knew you guys were gonna vibe turn. They just look like dorks now. It's pretty funny now. Before you had to fear them. Now they're just like, okay, dude, cool. Yeah. It's like the guy barfing in the street. It's like, you're making a fool of yourself. It's just like funny now. See somebody screaming about it. You're like, they become the memes.
[62:06]
Ari Shafir
It got so high that they went moment. We all are tired of it.
[62:09]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You see somebody yelling at the airport, like, what do you mean they shut the door? That cat. I was delayed on the airline. You see that? We just like, you're not going to get your way. The door's closed. But it's funny to watch. Yeah.
[62:21]
Ari Shafir
I love. I love when they're grown. I love watching grown men and women.
[62:26]
Thomas Dope
I'm sure you've seen your like fair share airport meltdowns.
[62:29]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, my God, it's the greatest. And I've been there. I'm pretty zen about it now with like, we shut the door. I'm like, oh, come on. It's like, not left yet, please. I was like, right here. You didn't call it. And they go, it's door shut. I'm like, okay, can. Can. Let's move to the next. You know, I mean, like, what, what can you get me on the next flight or. And then it's like, yeah. I'm just like, I know it's not going to change, so whatever.
[62:48]
Thomas Dope
Yeah. In every movie ever, they open that and you can get down it.
[62:51]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[62:52]
Ari Shafir
Apparently you flip out of it. Dumb and dumber. So the.
[62:55]
Marty O'Neal
Sometimes you see a delay too. Like, we're not taking off yet. Something. We got to get a new part. I'm like, it's been sitting here for 40 minutes now. Let me on.
[63:02]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[63:02]
Ari Shafir
Oh, I've never heard that. Holy. That sounds like anxiety.
[63:06]
Marty O'Neal
But it's like, ah, let me just have this. I once it was in flying out Key west from Tampa and there's a direct on a small, a little like underling airline. And then the other ones, you got to go to Miami and then there. So it's just longer. And then they canceled the one, but it was like delayed delay. Delayed and then canceled. And I'm like, huh, okay, let me figure it out. I gotta go to Key West. But I don't have to be there that night. I'm okay. And I'm online trying every other ticket to. That was like skyrocketing. And it's like, okay, hold On. Let me figure this out. All right? I'll just get a lunch and come back. And I'm watching one by one, Everyone come to the counter and just like, what the. You mean what? Even? And I'm just, like, on my phone, like, trying to figure it out, but just seeing it over and over again. And then I'm just like, maybe through Charlotte. And then. And then. And then I go up to him, was like, hey, can you. Can you route me through this? And then back there. And they're like, yeah, I'll try that. I was like, so your job. Let me just get this straight, is just to take abuse? Like, I was sitting there for the last 20 minutes just watching this. You're just. You're. You didn't cancel the flight? And, like, no. Yeah. We just got to get yelled at. And we have to just smile back like, we're only the bears of bad news. And they just scream.
[64:13]
Ari Shafir
Should just be a screen.
[64:15]
Marty O'Neal
I know. The flight is canceled, though.
[64:16]
Thomas Dope
It's making a lot of them bitter. A lot of them are shitty off the bat.
[64:19]
Marty O'Neal
And, like, right away, like, what are you gonna come before me for? You're like, I'm not.
[64:23]
Thomas Dope
Every time, like, yo, I know. Like, I'm trying to get home. I have kids. And, like, they take it way too lightly. Like, sorry, you're just stranded here.
[64:31]
Marty O'Neal
Sorry. And then you ever find out an actual solution that they didn't offer you? Yeah. Yeah, man, help me out. You see, it's like, I guess. Not you. It's your company, though.
[64:38]
Ari Shafir
They almost think, did I do something?
[64:39]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, like, yeah. But then you get some people that care. They're like, ah, you just missed it. But hold on. Let me see if I can get you on another plane. I think there's one leaving to, like, you know, like, Burbank through that, and maybe you can get across town. Like, oh, that might work. Thanks. I didn't know any of this. Help me out. And, like, what do you want? I'm like, I don't know the options. I don't work here exactly.
[64:59]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, I give up.
[65:01]
Ari Shafir
We have some fans that have hit us up that work at the airport. I get, like, little secrets and stuff. Like, Terminal 6, never eat. We have a roach infestation. Terminal 5 has nothing but rats. So I have. We have a couple homies in the live chat that are like, oh, I see you guys are flying out today. Terminal 6 clean again. Or this is clean. Don't eat here. Oh, wow, thanks. It's not like I'm eating there, but Just thanks for the.
[65:21]
Thomas Dope
Good to know, man.
[65:23]
Ari Shafir
Because I always have. I have legal amounts of drugs on weed always. So I'm always scared at the airports. And plus I look like this. And they're like you said. Are you ever mistaken?
[65:35]
Marty O'Neal
That's your problem there.
[65:38]
Ari Shafir
If I grew a beard, I'd be.
[65:41]
Thomas Dope
I never thought about it.
[65:45]
Ari Shafir
Your farewell tour, you said no more shows till 2027.
[65:48]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[65:49]
Ari Shafir
Are you just taking. Taking a break?
[65:50]
Marty O'Neal
It's going off the road, so we'll still be doing spots in New York and.
[65:54]
Ari Shafir
Okay, that was the question.
[65:55]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but no more like shows. Some more like buying a ticket to see me.
[66:00]
Ari Shafir
Really? Is it just like, you just want some time?
[66:02]
Marty O'Neal
I want to travel a little bit. I want to do like. Yeah, I just want to, like, get. Have fun getting back on the road, you know, instead of being. All the time, it's like, let me just, like, have fun. Fun to stand up. Try to, like, design an hour.
[66:16]
Thomas Dope
Has it been, like, stressful with the whole. Not special?
[66:19]
Marty O'Neal
Nuh. No, not stressful at all, really. It's fun, but mostly I just want to travel. So then it's like, I'm going to be gone for a while.
[66:26]
Ari Shafir
Is there any countries in particular you trying to hit?
[66:29]
Marty O'Neal
Just see where it takes me.
[66:31]
Ari Shafir
God, I wish I had one ounce of this adventure in my.
[66:34]
Thomas Dope
This is not having kids.
[66:35]
Marty O'Neal
Like, yeah, not having kids. I was talking to Jason Ellis last night about it, and he was like, yeah, it's with kids. You can. I'm like, oh, no, right. Of course not. No.
[66:43]
Thomas Dope
Do you do comedy everywhere you go or. Not so much.
[66:46]
Marty O'Neal
When. I mean, I'll do, like, tours through, like, Europe and stuff, or Australia. And that's fun. And I try to do it. My Jews hate it. But, like, I try to do, like, only, like, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then like, the rest of the week off. Like, no, no, do every. You're out there. You gotta, like, hit every market.
[67:00]
Ari Shafir
Jews. What are you. Oh, got you.
[67:03]
Marty O'Neal
Never mind.
[67:04]
Ari Shafir
Go ahead.
[67:05]
Marty O'Neal
And then. And then. And they go, no, you gotta capitalize. I'm like, no, no, I want to be. You know, I want to go to Berlin for a few days. I want to enjoy life a little, you know, while you're out there. So that I'll do like a month and a half. That's fun. With some places to be. But then when it's like backpacking, it's the best mountains and.
[67:21]
Ari Shafir
And cities.
[67:22]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. No, not like hiking through them, but like going through hostels with a backpack.
[67:26]
Ari Shafir
Oh, man.
[67:27]
Marty O'Neal
Can you.
[67:28]
Ari Shafir
Can you box? Because I feel like if I'm in other places, like I. The. Away from me so tall.
[67:33]
Thomas Dope
You know jiu jitsu, right?
[67:34]
Marty O'Neal
Well, I mean, yeah. I'm an Eddie Bravo white belt.
[67:38]
Thomas Dope
That's something.
[67:39]
Marty O'Neal
No, it's not. It's show for the got day one. I wish. I gotta pay for your T shirt. I mean. Yeah. 10th planet white. What's up?
[67:49]
Ari Shafir
He. That could be misconstrued real.
[67:54]
Marty O'Neal
Wait. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Eddie's. You're gonna go down to a different race thing. Because I was like that planet white.
[68:05]
Ari Shafir
So. No, I would love to be able to have that in me. I can't even walk through an alley. So there's eight molesters in here.
[68:10]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah, that's just here. That's. It's way better in other places.
[68:14]
Ari Shafir
I just saw Hostel when I was a kid and went, oh, I guess I'm staying here.
[68:17]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah. Oh, you saw Hostile.
[68:20]
Ari Shafir
It was an eighth grade, so that's. Other countries in Mexico. Scary. I'm just gonna stay here, man.
[68:25]
Thomas Dope
That movie really, like, scared me away from traveling.
[68:27]
Marty O'Neal
I feel like it was really. Yeah, yeah.
[68:29]
Ari Shafir
I don't speak languages.
[68:32]
Marty O'Neal
You get by point. It's so funny, though. They give you the worst horror version of it. It's called Hostel. You have to stay in hostels. You're like, no way.
[68:40]
Ari Shafir
Exactly. Even hotels, man.
[68:42]
Thomas Dope
Is there no hotels? Like, is that the option or like, why does you.
[68:45]
Marty O'Neal
You meet way more people at a hostel. You find out the to do. Oh, I gotcha. It's just like sway social.
[68:53]
Thomas Dope
So this is all about partying and like doing drugs and drinking and.
[68:56]
Marty O'Neal
Not all about. But definitely involved. Yeah. I mean, those people are into it. There's very few straight edge people on that. On those routes, you know, when you.
[69:04]
Thomas Dope
Say backpacking, like, how intense are we talking?
[69:06]
Marty O'Neal
Just go places. I mean, with a back. You know, with all your. In your. On your back.
[69:10]
Thomas Dope
Oh, I think of like hiking.
[69:12]
Marty O'Neal
I know. What's the term then? I. I've confused a lot of people.
[69:15]
Ari Shafir
Backpacking through Europe. People. Like I'm saying.
[69:18]
Marty O'Neal
But backpacking is also the mountain too.
[69:20]
Ari Shafir
I mean, that's how I just. I see it. Yeah, it's like those Aztec buildings and fulls of backpacks.
[69:25]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[69:26]
Ari Shafir
Jungles.
[69:26]
Marty O'Neal
There's backpack people and there's rollerback people. Okay.
[69:29]
Ari Shafir
Yeah. Differences.
[69:31]
Thomas Dope
You got the whole thing planned out before you go, or are you just.
[69:34]
Marty O'Neal
No, I'm just saying, like, you'll meet people for three for ten.
[69:37]
Ari Shafir
He's got no plans.
[69:39]
Marty O'Neal
Super 20 money. Come on. Fact check. You're gonna Have a report by Elon Musk on the bottom saying, no, that is not true, actually. Yeah, he just said they're half the price. That's not a 50 cut.
[69:52]
Ari Shafir
I just found out that there's a wrong thing on Twitter where it goes fake. I just noticed that.
[70:00]
Marty O'Neal
What is it?
[70:01]
Ari Shafir
That thing where it goes. Actually, this guy's. A line where you said Elon Musk where it says it underneath. Yeah, I just fact check in fact.
[70:08]
Marty O'Neal
Check Joe Biden on one of them who's so great. Actually, that's been widely disproven. And it was just the bot doing it. It wasn't like, coming after him like, that sucks to go. It's so funny. The president's now like, ah, damn it. I can't post anything. Mostly what I do is lie.
[70:21]
Thomas Dope
Yeah. How am I supposed to.
[70:23]
Ari Shafir
He couldn't even speak, though. Who. How was he the one typing?
[70:27]
Thomas Dope
There's no way.
[70:28]
Marty O'Neal
It doesn't matter. Whatever the group that runs it is. It's like saying, like, whoever didn't write their own song, it's like, who gives a. The team? The song itself is a thing.
[70:36]
Thomas Dope
So Rihanna sang it. Who knows who wrote it?
[70:38]
Marty O'Neal
Who even cares? A man. Roach and is Twain's Don't Need a man.
[70:43]
Ari Shafir
Oh, really?
[70:44]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[70:45]
Ari Shafir
Sassy.
[70:48]
Marty O'Neal
I don't need a man except to write it as production credits. As a man.
[70:54]
Ari Shafir
Don't need a man for anything but my look.
[70:57]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but whoever's running it, they're all just cheating you and lying. So then it's like. Like, it's so for. They can't post anymore. Everything they say is a lot.
[71:05]
Ari Shafir
Just pictures.
[71:06]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[71:07]
Thomas Dope
Have you gotten into any, like, sketchy situations on your backpacking?
[71:11]
Marty O'Neal
Some I get. Most of them are just misconstrued. Like, Ms. Like, thought they were sketchy and turns out it was never even a problem. Not like, I barely got out of it, but, like, oh, that was never an issue. Here's a sketchy time, the height of when the Amazing Races got ripped to the Internet. I was getting a lot of death threats. A lot.
[71:29]
Ari Shafir
The way you said it, I was like, fan mail. Like crazy.
[71:32]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah. Ton.
[71:33]
Ari Shafir
I did not expect.
[71:34]
Marty O'Neal
And so I learned pretty early on that it was like, these aren't real. It's it. You know, whatever. Nobody's gonna say something online or they'll be like, I'm the guy who won't see. It's like, yeah, I've seen a thousand of you. I would go back on MySpace those days and like. Like looking for a message and seeing One from like two years earlier, saying they're gonna kill me. And I'm like, hey, buddy, it's been two years. What's going on? My up. It just like, it seems like I've actually been in your town two different times since. Just wondering how that promise is going. Fuck you.
[72:02]
Thomas Dope
The first guy to follow up with.
[72:07]
Marty O'Neal
But anyway, and I was like, I learned pretty early it's not a real thing. Right? And so everybody complains about death threats. I mean, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, guys, that's not. That's just gamer talk more than anything, you know, it's the racism on gamer shit. It's like that. Not real racism. It's like, what'll make this guy mad. I've been called the N word a bunch of times. Them not knowing that I wasn't, you know, so. Yeah, so. But I was a staple center coming out of a ufc, so people are already kind of. Kind of, like, there. Everyone kind of thinks they can do it. This is 15, 18 years ago. That's the effect. Yeah. It makes me like, I want to fight for nine years straight right now. That's all. Half these guys lose. I can do better than that.
[72:44]
Thomas Dope
A lot of dudes think that.
[72:46]
Marty O'Neal
Literally half of them lost.
[72:47]
Ari Shafir
Half these guys.
[72:51]
Marty O'Neal
I could do as well as half of them. I could lose.
[72:54]
Ari Shafir
I can get knocked out like that.
[72:55]
Marty O'Neal
And so then a riot broke out. There was some guy, some Mexican going in somebody's face like, oh, this white guy and his wife or chick is trying like, don't, don't. Come on.
[73:05]
Ari Shafir
Pull away, citizens.
[73:05]
Marty O'Neal
And he's like, turn around. And this guy's going, getting in his face. Some other guy whips around the back, and as the guy's backing away, just waits and he just coughs and just knocks this guy out. As the wife was like, oh, you could tell, like I was telling you, get out of here. And then everyone starts brawling. Those guys jump on some bus. Something like, for the Chinese tourists or something.
[73:26]
Ari Shafir
Damn, they got hops.
[73:28]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, they just run in and just try to disappear. And there's a full brawl. Me, Duncan, and I think Redband. I'm up against, like, a corn, like, on Staples center wall. This is all happening like, oh. And then it hit me then, like, if I get recognized right now as the amazing racist with people already just punching strangers, it's over. It's over. There's no way I can be like, no, no, it's irony. I'm trying cast a light on racism through showing a ridiculous version of it.
[73:57]
Thomas Dope
Yeah, that's like a. That's like a this is not happening scene. Just the record scratches.
[74:01]
Ari Shafir
Everybody stops and looks and realizes what a realization is. People are getting knocked out. What about me?
[74:08]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Oh.
[74:10]
Thomas Dope
What's the coolest UFC you've seen? Because you've been to a lot of them, right?
[74:14]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[74:14]
Thomas Dope
For the McGregor era, right through it.
[74:17]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, I was kind of just getting out in the McGregor. I'm going a lot set to fall, and I just got to understand up. But, like, that's lame. What I just said was lame. Yeah. But I saw Captain America take the title. Captain America? Is that what they call them? I'm missing it. Randy Couture.
[74:40]
Thomas Dope
Oh, okay. That's a.
[74:42]
Ari Shafir
Did they call him Captain America?
[74:43]
Marty O'Neal
What do they call him? Was it Captain America?
[74:46]
Ari Shafir
I don't think it was Captain America. Randy Couture is such a badass. What was he? You mean the star of the Expendables?
[74:57]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, God. I surprised myself when I'm right. When anybody calls me something, like, I'm definitely the one who's wrong. And then when I'm not shocked.
[75:07]
Ari Shafir
Heroin.
[75:08]
Marty O'Neal
Wow. Yeah. I saw him take the title from. From Tim Sylvia.
[75:13]
Thomas Dope
Sounds right.
[75:14]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Beat him for five rounds. The dude said he didn't remember rounds two through three. Sylvia. It was crazy. The place, I would think. I think it was. I think it was Ohio. Columbus, Ohio. And the play. And this guy was the hero. Moved down, you know, moved up in weight class. And then they gave him a title fight, and it was like, he's old and he's. He wins the first round. The play starts going, yeah, I. Nobody wasn't rooting for him. Yeah, I was shaking in a way. And then he won the second round, and then it was like he went in the third. He goes, oh, now he just got a last. And he won all five. It was like, crazy. I saw. I saw some fun ones. I saw what's his name get caught in a triangle midway through round five against Anderson Silva.
[75:57]
Thomas Dope
I'm no expert. I know all these games and stuff.
[76:00]
Marty O'Neal
But he's beating him. He's the first one to be beating him. The wrestler.
[76:03]
Ari Shafir
Oh, the white kid.
[76:04]
Marty O'Neal
Funny guy.
[76:05]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, the white guy.
[76:06]
Marty O'Neal
I know you're talking and funny. His promos he cut were. I mean, he's the precursor for McGregor. He was the one cutting promos. What's his name? Then he lost him again in a research.
[76:19]
Ari Shafir
Thank you. That is funny.
[76:20]
Marty O'Neal
He go, yeah. And he was going. He goes, sonnen. Chill, Sonnen. And he goes. He goes. Anderson Silva's Lost three rounds. I've never lost another three fights in before ufc, because I've. Or won whatever it was. I've never lost a fight in my life. I've never lost a round of it, any fight in my life. I've never lost a single minute of any fight in my life. Never broken. Sing this promo. He's like. He's lost like seven times. What are you talking about? And none of them are like four round, three round, whatever. But like, yeah. He goes, when I enter the R. When I enter the octagon, the stadium, it's the sound of thunder. When Anderson Silva walks in, you can hear a mouse pissing on cotton. It was so great. Yeah, I saw him lose in round five. And I'm hanging out with Randy Couture afterwards. Me, Rogan, Randy, a couple other people, like hangers, outers, whatever. Just people in the UFC in production and stuff. And everyone's talking about whatever. And then every once in a while, I notice him. Me and Randy were both doing it where he, like, talk to people. And then you think about this guy losing for four and a half rounds, who's never really been touched since she got good. Anderson Silva, this guy crushing him. And then just get caught. Not fucking triangle with not much time left. And it was like. So we'd be talking and then we.
[77:30]
Ari Shafir
Go, I can't believe that.
[77:34]
Marty O'Neal
You get back into the conversation. And I see Randy do it, and he would see me do it, and.
[77:37]
Ari Shafir
It'S like, let's talk to each other.
[77:39]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And then you're like, right? It's like, what the. Yeah, that was a great one. I saw the. One of the ones in Brazil, maybe the first one. They shook that. Shook that stadium so goddamn hard. And they started chanting something. They were like, I don't know. I'm. Watch. That sounds pretty close, actually. Like Chinese, where you go to college. Joe Hogan. Big fan, Joe Hogan. The place was shaking. They all started chanting something the first fight, and it was. There was guys fighting a Brazilian guy, it's American. And they were chanting this thing. And the whole place was chanting the same thing. It wasn't just some people. And then we went over to the translator, like, what are they saying? They. And goes, listen. He goes, they're saying, you're going to die. You're going to die. It was. God damn, it was fun.
[78:31]
Ari Shafir
Other countries love you so much more than we do.
[78:34]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[78:34]
Ari Shafir
It's crazy.
[78:35]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[78:35]
Thomas Dope
And like, they usually do, like. So, like, half the fighters are from Brazil.
[78:39]
Marty O'Neal
That's what they did. Yeah. They Had a couple where they. Up where it was Brazilian versus Brazilian. I'm like, nah, it should be Brazil versus. Not every time.
[78:45]
Ari Shafir
Street Fighter.
[78:45]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Maybe somebody filled in last minute and they had to be there already. Maybe it was something like that. But, like, God damn. Yeah, I've had some great ones.
[78:53]
Thomas Dope
Guns. The UFC is kind of weak right now.
[78:55]
Marty O'Neal
Anderson's first fight, he fought some, like, White. Seemed like a Stockton. Just brawler. Not there, but that's what he seemed like. I forget his name, and people are like, oh, this guy's gonna be good. First UFC fight. God, yeah. I had some good times there. And I gotten high for a lot of them. Took acid once at one. Took mushrooms a few times.
[79:18]
Thomas Dope
There was a legendary, like, shot of you and Duncan, like, tripping out at one of the.
[79:22]
Marty O'Neal
It was shroomfest. It was Shroom Fest. It overlapped with a Calgary ufc. So, like, we gotta.
[79:28]
Ari Shafir
What an adventure.
[79:30]
Marty O'Neal
You gotta celebrate Shroom Fest, wherever you are. We happen to be in Calgary, so we found some shrooms. We'll just like Shroom Fest.
[79:36]
Ari Shafir
It's like a day.
[79:37]
Marty O'Neal
No, it's the International Festival for Mushrooms.
[79:40]
Thomas Dope
It's one of. It's one of my questions.
[79:41]
Ari Shafir
Heard of this?
[79:42]
Marty O'Neal
Shroom Fest?
[79:43]
Ari Shafir
I have hella shrooms in my cabinet right now.
[79:45]
Marty O'Neal
Well, you gotta save for Shroom Fest. Let me just.
[79:47]
Ari Shafir
Oh, it's for my wedding. They gave me, like, a bunch of.
[79:50]
Marty O'Neal
Let me see. I could. I could find out whether. When it is, it's a play.
[79:54]
Ari Shafir
It sounds illegal.
[79:54]
Marty O'Neal
It's not a place. It's not Christmas. Is Christmas a place?
[79:58]
Ari Shafir
Oh, it's just a day.
[80:00]
Marty O'Neal
It's three days. Three days over the summer.
[80:04]
Ari Shafir
It's three days.
[80:06]
Thomas Dope
Just no matter where you're at. It's Shroom Fest is what you're saying.
[80:08]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Wherever you are, you celebrate. I've celebrated everywhere. Joshua Tree, San Diego, moon, phase of the calendar. I'll tell you in a second.
[80:16]
Thomas Dope
June.
[80:17]
Ari Shafir
That's crazy. I've never.
[80:18]
Marty O'Neal
The fucking universe invented it.
[80:19]
Ari Shafir
Never even heard of this. How know? Well, all the Shroom guys I know never heard of this in my life.
[80:23]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, Shroom Fest. I'm gonna find out what it is. Everyone should join wherever you are. And one time we were in Calgary. We're on our way from, like, Edmonton or, like, we were doing a little tour with Rogan. No, no, no. It was just for ufc. So we performed the night before. Found mushrooms. Duncan finds drug. Drug dealers and certain personality. Yeah, yeah. He just knows that's a superpower. That's a superpower. And so then we're eating and we're putting him in a Maynard's gummy bear bag. We stuck him in there so we could just keep eating a gummy bear and then some mushrooms. Just keep. And we were flying. And like, what I said about universe providing some guy was like, are you Duncan and Ari? We weren't famous then. We weren't anybody. And we're like, yeah. It's like, oh, yeah, the comics. We saw you last night at Rogan show.
[81:02]
Ari Shafir
Oh.
[81:02]
Marty O'Neal
And he's like, we have a skybox. You want to come in? We're like, yeah, okay. And we're just wandering around eating these mushrooms out of.
[81:09]
Ari Shafir
Oh, don't light it.
[81:10]
Marty O'Neal
Do not sell my personal property. Yeah. Info Shroom Fest.
[81:14]
Ari Shafir
Sounds like weekend. Yeah, sick weekend.
[81:19]
Thomas Dope
420 for shrooms, basically, yeah.
[81:21]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, that's what it is. It's 421st. That's a good way to put it.
[81:23]
Ari Shafir
How the. Have we never heard of this? Marty?
[81:25]
Marty O'Neal
Hold on, I'll tell you the moon cycle. So I'll tell you what it is. Well, it's true. It's TR Fest and it's coming up. That's soft.
[81:30]
Ari Shafir
It's running like crazy.
[81:31]
Thomas Dope
I bumped it on the table. That's why.
[81:33]
Ari Shafir
Is that what happened?
[81:34]
Marty O'Neal
Okay, what is this? Not March. Dublin, New Hampshire. Come on, give me the full calendar. God damn it. How do I.
[81:44]
Thomas Dope
The web developers are stripping balls.
[81:46]
Ari Shafir
A little disappointed myself for not knowing about this.
[81:51]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, we did it in Calgary. I've done them everywhere. That's what. No, that one wasn't from first.
[81:57]
Thomas Dope
Well, I was gonna say I'm interested to get your take, like. Yeah, because that kind of spawned this whole, like, golden era and comedy, basically, with you and all your homies in la, in the Comedy Store.
[82:06]
Marty O'Neal
It's a golden era. Yeah, it really is.
[82:09]
Thomas Dope
Undoubtedly.
[82:09]
Marty O'Neal
It really is.
[82:10]
Thomas Dope
And then it kind of ended because everybody moved out of LA and just.
[82:14]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, the golden era of Los Angeles, you mean?
[82:16]
Thomas Dope
Well, overall too.
[82:17]
Marty O'Neal
I mean, la, la, comedy in the.
[82:19]
Thomas Dope
Grand scope and in la. But now it's more like. I feel like it's coming back, but it's not just around la. It's like there's so many great comedians that in the world that is, like, embracing right now.
[82:30]
Marty O'Neal
Well, also, it used to be you have to go from. From wherever to LA, NY, and the only guys that did it around that system was Chad Daniels and Shane Boss. And they never really were in one of the major things, and they were still good. Nate moved back to Nashville, but he lived in New York and la, that was the only way. And now it's like, you don't have to be. Now there's Austin, too. There's good London comics and. But also, like, Barbosa, he just stayed in Dallas. Alice, he just stayed in Houston. Ms. Pat just stayed in Indy. Yeah, well, she went to Indy, I guess. But, like, yeah, like, you don't have to do that anymore.
[83:07]
Ari Shafir
Power of the Internet, too.
[83:08]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but the golden age of LA comedy was gold, bro. They called it the dark years of the store. But really, I used to hate that because, like, they said, like, nobody. No famous people were there then.
[83:18]
Ari Shafir
What?
[83:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, we'd later go on to be that, but we wasn't then. But they call it duckies. But I used to hate him. Like, what's. Why is it we were doing good comedy and then I realized, like, oh, you know what? I'm gonna take a different definition is we were the darkest people.
[83:29]
Thomas Dope
Okay.
[83:30]
Marty O'Neal
And I'll lie.
[83:31]
Thomas Dope
I like that it was the Dark Ages right before Rogan, because before that, it was like, Eddie Murphy era.
[83:37]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but he was there for the Dark Ages, too, when nobody was there. Thursday, we're like, hey, we can't start the show on time. We have to have six people, and there's no one in the room yet for like, an hour, hour and a half. Something's like, cancel the show. Nobody's coming at the Comedy Store.
[83:49]
Thomas Dope
What?
[83:50]
Marty O'Neal
The podcast brought that back. The podcast brought it back.
[83:55]
Thomas Dope
I mean, really glad I missed that.
[83:57]
Ari Shafir
I wasn't even of age to be able to do.
[83:58]
Thomas Dope
I didn't realize that. I didn't realize, like, the Comedy Store wasn't packed out before.
[84:01]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah, dude, it was failing. She had to take a second mortgage out in the place.
[84:04]
Ari Shafir
Oh, yeah. Every time. Packed.
[84:07]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, exactly.
[84:09]
Thomas Dope
Did she give. We're talking about Mitzi, right?
[84:11]
Marty O'Neal
Mitzi.
[84:12]
Thomas Dope
Did she give Joe credit for that? Like, damn, your podcast saved this place.
[84:16]
Marty O'Neal
She was already out of it by then.
[84:17]
Thomas Dope
Oh, gotcha.
[84:18]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but it did. And it wasn't even. He wasn't even going at the time. He was, like, taking a break for.
[84:24]
Thomas Dope
A few years from vendetta for a while, right?
[84:26]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, but he was mentioning it offhanded. Old stories of. And it would always involve the Comedy Store. And so the place just got more popular. He wasn't even there drawing. It was just like, it became cool again. Yeah, it had already just become cool. Right. A. Right before he left and that. But, like, it was like, ooh, this is like, we're not looking for Laugh Factory is fine. Improv time. They're glossy. And comedies were just like. Like a relic and was like. And then relics came back in a style.
[84:53]
Thomas Dope
You guys made the Ice House. Cool.
[84:55]
Marty O'Neal
Made the ice.
[84:55]
Thomas Dope
When I first moved here, the first night I got here, I went and saw Brody and Sam Tripley at the Ice House.
[85:02]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, That's. That's a. That's good. Let's see. Let's see. Hold on. Moon phases. It might be that. Nope, There it is. August. This year, in August. Oh, yeah. It's. That's full. Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Okay. August 9th, 10th, and 11th. Awesome.
[85:24]
Ari Shafir
So three.
[85:27]
Marty O'Neal
I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. It is September 6th, 7th, and 8th.
[85:32]
Ari Shafir
Hey, let's go.
[85:33]
Marty O'Neal
My birthday.
[85:33]
Thomas Dope
Nice. Oh.
[85:36]
Marty O'Neal
Really? It's a very late Shroom day. Shroom Fest. It's a very late Shroom Fest because it can't go too deep into September because kids are back and it's usually end of August.
[85:45]
Ari Shafir
Oh, true.
[85:46]
Marty O'Neal
It's the longest weekend. Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Of moonlight during the summer months. Oh, but you can't do, like, June 14th. People are still in schools. It's too early. You know, like, it's summer, but it's not summertime yet. So. So that's the earliest it can be. The latest could be is, like, second week first or second week of September. So usually, like, late June, all July, all August. So if the full moon's on a Sunday, for sure it's that one. So if it's on us, if there's no full moon, if there's one only on Saturday and one only on Monday, you go by the Monday one.
[86:18]
Thomas Dope
I can't believe you've never heard of.
[86:19]
Ari Shafir
I've never even heard anybody say, speak this, which is crazy. Yeah, A lot of hippie white chicks. Not one time. If they're crisp, they clink some together and talk to us.
[86:28]
Thomas Dope
Spending more weed fests than anybody on earth.
[86:31]
Ari Shafir
For real.
[86:31]
Marty O'Neal
Shroom Fest, bro. What did I say? What day did I say? That's it.
[86:34]
Ari Shafir
Six, seventh, eighth.
[86:35]
Marty O'Neal
So wherever you are, start looking for shrooms now. They're not as easy as you think to find. They're easier now than they were.
[86:39]
Ari Shafir
Way easier now. And you. It's not as expensive as you guys. You know, let's not even say this.
[86:44]
Marty O'Neal
Well, I wrote a whole primer. It's on my website. Shroom Google. Shroom Fest Primer.
[86:48]
Thomas Dope
You got a banner on your website.
[86:50]
Marty O'Neal
Google Shroom Fest. Primer, 6th, 7th, and 8th. Shroom Fest. Oh, I can't wait.
[86:56]
Ari Shafir
Oh, see, I need that Adventure. Let's go. Backpack. You can meet people in hostels and.
[87:02]
Marty O'Neal
Buy whippets wherever you are, just participate. We're all joined up on the nether realms of this universe.
[87:08]
Ari Shafir
A lot of people are scared, but it's getting a lot less.
[87:10]
Marty O'Neal
Fine. I'm scared every time.
[87:12]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[87:13]
Marty O'Neal
Sorry to be scared. What does that mean?
[87:14]
Ari Shafir
I got a little nervousness. I'm saying, to even try it. So for people, like, what if it goes bad? What are your tips on having a bad trip? Because I. I don't mind. Everyone has their own, like, facet of tips and techniques.
[87:28]
Marty O'Neal
All right. What. What do you got? Or were you on me? Yeah.
[87:30]
Ari Shafir
Go by myself and don't talk to.
[87:33]
Marty O'Neal
Anybody once it's going bad or to.
[87:35]
Ari Shafir
What'S going bad once I'm.
[87:37]
Marty O'Neal
Go be by yourself.
[87:38]
Ari Shafir
By myself. No phone. No TV helps, but no phone. Nothing where I can interact and change my life with a few clicks.
[87:46]
Marty O'Neal
Right.
[87:47]
Ari Shafir
Put that away.
[87:48]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I would run before you even start. This is not when I turn it off, but run it to zero on battery. Oh, so you can't even turn it on and you can't find it. Yeah. And then, like, separate your phone from your chargers, put them in different places, and then, like, really make it an obstacle for yourself to get that thing on, because you might just, like, go with that thing. Like, oh, I'm in there. But it's like, go like, that's off. Oh, yeah, whatever. I'm gone.
[88:09]
Ari Shafir
It doesn't even matter anymore.
[88:09]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[88:10]
Thomas Dope
Next thing you know, you're live and it's over.
[88:12]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, I'd say when it's going bad. Here's one. When shrooms are going bad, this is going to sound hokey as.
[88:19]
Thomas Dope
Okay.
[88:20]
Marty O'Neal
You can kind of control them. You can talk to them. You just. Very quietly, because you do it out loud. If you're alone, do it out loud. But if. If people are around, you know, if. Just go. Hey, mushrooms. Can, like. Can you pull this back a little bit? Oh, yeah, pull it back.
[88:33]
Ari Shafir
I don't talk to.
[88:34]
Marty O'Neal
It's a little bunch. And then they'll be like, okay.
[88:37]
Ari Shafir
I always ask something. Please hold this back.
[88:39]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[88:40]
Thomas Dope
I would have never tried to reason with it.
[88:42]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, I do.
[88:43]
Marty O'Neal
And I think saying it out loud maybe affects your brain or something, but, like, internally. Unless you do it, but yeah. Then you're like, okay, okay, okay.
[88:48]
Ari Shafir
Like, when you're throwing up, like, I won't drink anymore.
[88:51]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. But also the bat trip's a part of it. Enjoy the ride, buddy. It can't all be safe, but Also, it will be over. You know, it's a five max, seven hour trip max, but probably five. So at some point the clock is ticking. Making. It's heading towards over right now.
[89:08]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[89:10]
Marty O'Neal
Stuck that way. And no one's ever od. Tell yourselves that.
[89:12]
Ari Shafir
Yep.
[89:13]
Marty O'Neal
So you're fine.
[89:14]
Thomas Dope
Have you done way more shrooms than acid?
[89:16]
Marty O'Neal
I'm getting more into acid lately. I feel like a trader.
[89:18]
Ari Shafir
I really want to try it now that you're saying, well, if you're not, it's clean. That's what everybody says. It's controllable.
[89:23]
Marty O'Neal
It's clean. Everybody tells me controllable. I don't think it's controllable. What does that mean?
[89:27]
Ari Shafir
They said, well, you can control things, like sometimes. Because I asked, like, what's the difference? Like, well, you take five grams of mushrooms, you're on the ground just melting. I take three tabs. I could possibly be at a concert.
[89:37]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah.
[89:38]
Ari Shafir
Up.
[89:38]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Out of it. Seeing. But also like, wow, what's going on here? It doesn't put you on the floor as much. Mushrooms turns you into a mushroom.
[89:45]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, I. I turned into a puddle.
[89:47]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You mush them out.
[89:48]
Ari Shafir
And I pull my shirt for some reason.
[89:50]
Marty O'Neal
Really?
[89:50]
Ari Shafir
Like, all my clothes are stretched out of nowhere.
[89:52]
Marty O'Neal
I'll be like, yeah, I'm sure that's the reason your clothes are stretched.
[89:55]
Thomas Dope
Oh, bastard.
[90:01]
Ari Shafir
Go for a hike. It's full on his shirt. We're talking about this right now. You're so positive. You have two smiley faces on your. On your person right now. Covering it up with black.
[90:11]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, it's the only way you can be. You can with people. Now I'm a contrarian. So that's the way you do it. You go positive. Now they get so mad now things are pretty good. They go, it used to be you have to say some racist or something, but now you just be like, yeah, pretty good day out. Like, that's only 58.
[90:29]
Ari Shafir
Politics doesn't affect me.
[90:31]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, that's the good one. Yeah. They all hate the mayor. Oh, they hate the mayor in New York. Mayor Adam sucks. My arm sucks. I'm like, why? Because I don't follow it. Same as you. I don't follow it. And they're like, dang, what's down good? I'm like, I said, he's gonna fix up the parks. And, like, he's really fixed him up. All the benches are painted and like these flowers everywhere.
[90:47]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[90:48]
Marty O'Neal
It's the only promise I heard about. And he's doing it. So I don't know. And they're like, he's taking bribes. I'm like, yeah, I think they all do that. I don't know. But parks are nice, dude. I don't tell you, the results are there. It's pretty nice.
[91:00]
Ari Shafir
I've never agree with anything more. I don't even know what our mayor was until the city burned down.
[91:04]
Marty O'Neal
But for a hike, it's words to live by.
[91:06]
Thomas Dope
You described ayahuasca as clean too. I'm interested. What that was like.
[91:10]
Marty O'Neal
Cleans you out. Hold on. Okay, so there's a different. It's you feel clean or it cleans you out. That one cleans you out just like somebody's in there just screwing your diarrhea.
[91:19]
Thomas Dope
Puking.
[91:20]
Marty O'Neal
Literally or not that too, but I just mean your soul.
[91:22]
Thomas Dope
Oh, okay. Okay.
[91:23]
Ari Shafir
That's what you got from that?
[91:24]
Marty O'Neal
Well, I. That's what I was most afraid of. Projectile diarrhea. Those two words together. Get this and just lift off.
[91:32]
Thomas Dope
Where'd you do it?
[91:34]
Marty O'Neal
The jungle, down in the Andes.
[91:35]
Ari Shafir
Oh, wow. You went all out.
[91:37]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, no, I guess not the Andes. No, in the Amazon. Yeah, the Andes. In the mountains. It dips down into the Amazon.
[91:44]
Thomas Dope
Deep in the rainforest.
[91:45]
Marty O'Neal
Not deep in, but in. Yeah, no, not deep end kind of edge, but I mean, you know, you're in there 50 miles.
[91:52]
Thomas Dope
It's like the ocean.
[91:53]
Marty O'Neal
Once you're so big, it's so. Yeah, it doesn't matter, but it's like cityish area, but still in like. Imagine like. Well, not even as far as Joshua treated here. It'd be like Griffith. Yeah. A little further than like, you know, something like that. Just a park. Not a park, but like the beginning of a jungle. I don't know. I don't know. I'm saying it wrong. I'm saying it terrible.
[92:12]
Thomas Dope
A tiger could be outside of its.
[92:14]
Marty O'Neal
Outside of a town. An hour to the jungle. Yeah.
[92:16]
Ari Shafir
There we go.
[92:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[92:20]
Ari Shafir
Would you do it with. Because you have to have like a person helping me.
[92:23]
Marty O'Neal
There's some shaman and. And her. Her. Her grandson or son or nephew. I forget. A brown in training. Yeah. So like he was gonna run it in her absence. He was gonna take over, but she was gonna make sure the. All the dosing was right. She born a monkey skull. It was crazy, dude. It was crazy. My temple, it was like Temple of doom. It really was it. I mean, you know how it's like the reason, like you can charge like 30 for burrito. Like you should never. It should be illegal, but like happen if it's in a restaurant and the atmosphere. All right. You're charging for a waiter. That's different. So that's the experience they're selling at the restaurant. This lady was selling the experience. She's dripping blood on me. I'm getting my money's worth on that alone.
[93:12]
Thomas Dope
Alone, yeah.
[93:12]
Marty O'Neal
God damn it.
[93:14]
Thomas Dope
Had you known people that went to them before?
[93:16]
Marty O'Neal
I knew one guy, okay. My friend I met, he was from Hong Kong. He had left the revolution.
[93:24]
Ari Shafir
Ah.
[93:25]
Marty O'Neal
What his name? He said he got a gun pointed to his face by a cop this far away by a cop who was authorized to use it against whoever he wanted. Yeah. And he was like, oh, I don't give a. About China and Hong Kong. I'm out of here. And start going traveling. He did Oscar once, didn't like it because the guy didn't do it with him. And then. And then he did it with this guy. He did three days in a row. He said on the third day, he saw when and how he was going to die.
[93:51]
Ari Shafir
Oh, was it cool?
[93:53]
Marty O'Neal
I think his name is Desmond.
[93:54]
Ari Shafir
What did he tell you as a sick ass?
[93:55]
Marty O'Neal
Cool. Death in water.
[93:58]
Ari Shafir
Never cool. Never mind.
[93:59]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And he said. He said. I was like, whoa, is that scary? He goes, no, I'll be like an old man by then. It's four. I'm 47.
[94:06]
Ari Shafir
Death in water. Yeah.
[94:08]
Marty O'Neal
By the time I was like, I'm currently 46. What do you mean? You're what? This kid was like, 20 Asian kids.
[94:14]
Ari Shafir
Live till 110 too. Not this one, just a third.
[94:18]
Marty O'Neal
But yeah. He goes, but he's. I'm just totally peace with it. It's not a scary thing. It's just like, that's. It's going to happen. Just knowing it. It's fine. You know, we all know we're going to die at some point.
[94:28]
Ari Shafir
That sounds terrible.
[94:30]
Marty O'Neal
So he told us about that. We went there and was.
[94:32]
Ari Shafir
That's a soldier.
[94:33]
Marty O'Neal
It's like he swore by. And I was like, it'll. It'll find me. When I was down there, I was like, you know, I got offered once by some guy just rando. It's like, where are you guys from? And it was like, America. They're like, you want the cure for covet? This was. This was the first winter into the. You know, it started in March. This is like in October when it was kicking up again. And they're like, it's gonna match with the flu and kill everybody. And everyone's kind of still careful. And we're like, what? He goes, I gotta care for cove if you want. Like in the jungle. Just some stone house. No Spanish. Oh, broken Spanish.
[95:02]
Thomas Dope
Had Rogan told you to go do this too?
[95:05]
Marty O'Neal
I'm just on a walk.
[95:06]
Ari Shafir
Anybody broke in Spanish, silly?
[95:08]
Marty O'Neal
My dog. Yeah. And so. But I'm like, how do you turn down the cure for Covid when everyone's searching for this? There's no. There's not even a talk of a vaccine, you know, there's no talk. This is our new reality at the time. This is like, if you get it, you will die. That's what they were telling, you know, that's how we were kind of feeling. And then, like, there's never gonna be a cure, like. And so, like, okay, dude with no.
[95:30]
Ari Shafir
Shoes offers you the.
[95:32]
Marty O'Neal
This guy took me in a little tour of his farm with all these Amazonian cures for. He goes, this one's good for, like. This one's good for blood flow, whatever. He goes, let me show you.
[95:42]
Ari Shafir
I believe.
[95:43]
Marty O'Neal
And he goes. He slaps it against your arm, and he's like, okay. And then it's like. Then all of a sudden, it starts tingling and it starts spreading, like, ah. It's like, it's all right. And you're like. And then it, like, curves out, and you're like, what? There's one that's good for periods. And, like, how do you know it's good for periods? He sees this leaf like this. He goes, look, picks it up. It looks like it's been dipped in blood. Just red mark like that. And they all grow like that. You're like, what the.
[96:06]
Ari Shafir
Is he guessing what these things do?
[96:08]
Marty O'Neal
They just tell them. All the plants tell them. Or it's just passed down. I don't know. They all just know. This one's. I'm like, what's this? Face paint for ceremonies. That's it. And they crack open a thing, and it's like, mix it. And they just paint your face anyway.
[96:21]
Thomas Dope
Doing it for generations like that.
[96:22]
Marty O'Neal
And he goes, we got the cure for covert. And I was like, what do you mean? Meanwhile, it's a guy laying on a couch. His old man, it looks like he's dying. Definitely from COVID I was like, oh, no. But, dude, you can't be rude. At some point, if somebody's telling you we have the cure that every human in the world is looking for right now. Nah, I'm good, thanks. I don't really talk to strangers.
[96:43]
Thomas Dope
Thanks.
[96:44]
Marty O'Neal
Anyway, like, that's nuts. That's nuts. So you, like, you're stuck. There were certain times you're like, if it's your brother's wedding, like, then I'm getting it. I could, you know, I'm not justifying it for just a, you know, trip to video games, but like, for something real. It's like, then I'm getting it. But so it was like, all right. And he had this big, you know those, like those water things they turn over into one of those dispensers. Yes, he had one of those. The top cut off and he had one of those tide containers. But a big tide, you know, we put it in the cup. He had one of those cups cleaned out, and it was just this disgusting brown liquid, a coconut husk floating in there and a bunch of other stuff. And he goes, it's this. He goes. I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, well, they told us it was a respiratory disease. We didn't know it was a respiratory disease. So a bunch of people in the Amazon were dying fast, and it spread through the Amazon, killed a ton of people. But then once we found it was a respiratory disease, we're like, oh, we got the cure for this. We didn't know it was respiratory based. We thought it was something else. They have another one. Like, there's certain trees where it's like, there's ants in there. Like, if you're an enemy territory and, like, you're getting hungry and losing energy, these ants all have, like, a little kick of energy, each one, and it'll get you out of their territory. And now you can make a fire and you're okay. But if you make a fire there at night, you're. They're gonna come. So it's like you peel it open, you try it like this, and it's like, whoa. You just get juice.
[98:00]
Ari Shafir
You ate the ant.
[98:01]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You just get juice. Like, whoa. Okay, I see it. And how do you know this one's a cure for a viper bite? Because. But you can't. You can't store it. It's got to be fresh. Like, how do you know? He's like, look at the plant. It goes like this. It looks like a viper's tongue.
[98:15]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, I'm gonna go around my house, like.
[98:17]
Marty O'Neal
And he goes, here, for this? Yeah. So somebody's like, somebody got bit by a snake. We gotta get it. It's like, run out there to where it is. It's my run out there. Grab it and then shred it and add water while you were there. No, that didn't happen. Like, that's what you do. You can't get it ahead of time because it'll lose all its potency. And they know all this. And so this cure for Covid. So this guy takes this thing, dips it in there, and he's like, drink this. It's a mixture of all this stuff. And we're like, okay. And I mean it. 100 NorCal sub. You understand? It was the worst thing I've ever tasted in my life. It was so much worse than Molly. It's. It's fizz squared.
[98:57]
Ari Shafir
Fizz square.
[98:59]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[98:59]
Ari Shafir
I think that was gonna be said today.
[99:01]
Marty O'Neal
And it was like, good. Damn it. And I. I can tell already, because I've told this to other people what some listeners are thinking of, and you're wrong. So then he gets us a bottle of water each. He said, drink a cap full of this bottle every day, and you just won't get it. And then if you're thinking like, this guy's a shyster. He's trying to make money, he said, go on your way. That's it. Thanks. It was nice to meet you. He's not selling it. He's not turning a profit off it. He's not saying, if you have friends, tell him to come here. Just like your traveler passing by. I think people need this, but we can't even make it to the big city. But, like, you should have some. It's killing everybody. I heard. So, like, how this. We drank it every day. Did not get code for six months there. Oh. Through multiple outbreaks. Never got it. Multiple spikes. And not. We never got. We were around people definitely nowdoors more. But like. Like, no. And I don't know, dude. I don't know.
[99:57]
Ari Shafir
Hitting everybody's joint.
[99:58]
Marty O'Neal
He was sure. He was sure. And there's all these other cures in there.
[100:01]
Ari Shafir
What did it taste like?
[100:03]
Marty O'Neal
For sure? Every day, like. But no, no, it wasn't like. Like that. It was just like. It was like, sour, but, like, ultimate sour. You never get the powder, just the pure powder of the sour. They separated it. It's that. But also, like, gamey. It was disgusting. But every morning it's like. And then like, okay, I need to do stuff. Didn't say anything else for edible.
[100:29]
Thomas Dope
So then what about the actual trip?
[100:32]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, yeah.
[100:33]
Ari Shafir
It was getting into the ayahuasca.
[100:34]
Marty O'Neal
Oh. So he goes. He goes, hey, we got ayahuasca here too. You want to do ayahuasca? And it was like, oh, cool guy. Damn it, man. And we're about to leave that town. And I was like, I don't think this seems a. A touch too sketchy. And also, we had heard bad stories ayahuasca People getting, like, fingered. And you know what? Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't. Definitely don't know. I don't want to put myself out of. Out of, like, this reality and just let you do whatever. But I met his mom, the grandmother of the place. Came back later, like, four months later, and gave her. Gave her some gifts from, like, a big town, like, some pottery. She's like, oh, my God, thank you. And she left us with all this fresh fish and stuff. She cooked for us. I mean, it ruled, bro. I haven't thought about this, this whole family in so long. I'll show you some pictures later. But, like. But, like. Yeah. So he's, like, going to. I, like, no, but we decided, like, it's. It'll find us when it's time to find us. But this didn't seem like it, but it's casual out there. Everybody's done it out there. Everybody's done. It's a rite of passage. It's. It's your local shaman, which is just, like, your local priest. It's not as, like, jungly as I'm making it out. He'll just be like, hey, I need to see you on Wednesday. So start on Monday. Stop eating red meat and whatever the tribe says to do. And then you're like, okay. And it's just like, your principal calling you, and, like, we need to have a talk about your direction. Yeah. They just know that's a spiritual warrior. And they just tell you, like, I need to see you in my office.
[101:55]
Ari Shafir
Cool.
[101:56]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And so we're, like, waited. But. So this guy Desmond was like, I like this guy. So we did it there with this other guy that he found that he enjoyed. And we're like, hey, that's another one. He found us. He just. You know, he described before. It's like, all right, let's.
[102:07]
Ari Shafir
Let's give me that guy's experience.
[102:09]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And so then it was just this, like, guy who's, like, a familiar, who was like, I did it. I loved it. I want to get other people to do it. So I take these people to this 80 bucks.
[102:19]
Ari Shafir
That's it.
[102:20]
Marty O'Neal
That's it. And if you breakfast the next day, they take you out there overnight, feed your breakfast. Yeah.
[102:25]
Ari Shafir
Oh, you have to be. What's the. What's the experience? I've seen the reactions of people, and Harlem's shaking a lot.
[102:32]
Marty O'Neal
I can't tell you that because I'm. I only. I'm only looking out, you know? But that definitely Some barfing, which set it off for me. I was, like, not getting there. There was somebody else there, and they were getting there for sure. They became like a child or something. And just, like, it was. They. They were whatever. But they were like, hey, you're on your side, they're on their side. Don't talk. You're just. The fire separates you. Don't look through the stolen past. And then, like, yeah, but I was, like, not quite there. It just felt like mushrooms. I was like, okay, not. Not quite there. And then I was, like, getting nauseous. I was trying to choke it down. I was like, maybe I shouldn't choke it down. Maybe I should, like. So I went to the outsides of this, like, this hut. Statue, hut. I'm telling you, bro, the experience was worth it. It's like talking about immersive art. I paid 180 to go to sleep. No more. This is alone. Oh, so crazy. And then it's like, but you're in the jungle, and on the way down there, it's, like, starting to be sunset. And he goes, let's stop for a second. Like, listen to. Listen to sounds. We hear the river, hear bugs. He goes, way more. Those are going to be amplified. So just be ready for them now. And I'm worried about snakes. And I get to the edge of this hut where it's open. You know, you can enter on that side or that side to go barf. And I'm looking, and I'm like, there's a screen they put down, I guess, to stop the snakes from coming in. And I'm like, oh, that's why. It was just dirt. And that guy's not paying attention. You know, he's just beating on a drum. And then I. I, like, go to the thing, and I'm like, I just kind of go through the net. I'm like, wait, what is it? And it wasn't a net. It was just some force field they put up. They just put up some force field. And you could see it from the inside, but it wasn't there. You can't touch it or anything. And it kept all the batshit out. And so I threw up. This guy's right behind me then. And he goes, see it? And you get what you could see. All force fish. Yeah. Yeah. So then he gave me some water. He goes, don't drink it. Spit it out. And so I did. He goes. And he goes, you see visions. And I was like, I mean, it's his. That's broken Spanish on his part. And they don't. That's their second language. Or third. And then. And then he goes, all right, go back in. Go fight. Go fight. And then he put me back in my little. Just like a little. Not even a yoga mat, but like one of those rollout like that. That's. Or, you know, straw things.
[104:45]
Thomas Dope
Go fight.
[104:45]
Marty O'Neal
Go fight. Yeah, they see it as, like, fighting. Spiritual fighting, you know. And he goes, listen, though, the. The iOS is going to clear you out, so you're more susceptible to evil spirits. So I got a little piece for you. So that'll, like. That'll protect you because you're a clean slate. Clean slate. You're open to the good stuff. You're open to the bad stuff. Yeah. So it could go. So, like, hold on to that and they'll, like, ask for protection.
[105:05]
Thomas Dope
Were you terrified?
[105:07]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was like, all right, we're doing it. There's no way out of it. There's no. Like, Actually, no, it's not like a roller coaster. Yeah. But, like. I mean, it's happy, but. Yeah. Like, what's gonna. The projectile diarrhea was my biggest fear of shooting out, you know, it was just embarrassing. I got off easy. It was just some barfing, so you.
[105:29]
Thomas Dope
Didn'T really feel like it took off.
[105:31]
Marty O'Neal
And then after. So after the barf. Oh. Then it exploded. Then I went from mushrooms to this other thing.
[105:37]
Ari Shafir
So I've seen people describe.
[105:38]
Marty O'Neal
Did you.
[105:39]
Ari Shafir
What did you see?
[105:40]
Marty O'Neal
I saw lots of stuff.
[105:42]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[105:42]
Thomas Dope
Jungly stuff. Like, was it.
[105:44]
Marty O'Neal
I mean, a lot of shapes and. And then you just, like. Then they all kind of break. It's like, do pretty well in the movies. Then that, like, breaks down, and then it's suddenly like you're through that, and it's just like. You're kind of gone. You still know where you are, but you're kind of like.
[105:55]
Ari Shafir
Can you see yourself?
[105:56]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. And then you're like. It's just like. It kind of breaks down. You realize you're in this universe that's been, like, clouded or something, you know, and it's like. Oh, you see all these other parts of it. Yeah, you're still there. But it was like the roof came off.
[106:10]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[106:11]
Marty O'Neal
And it opened up to everything. And you could go forward or backwards, like, you know, thousands of miles to where. It's like, I'm seeing it from here. I'm seeing it from, like, a million miles away.
[106:18]
Thomas Dope
Your vision's just zooming.
[106:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. And you're just seeing where.
[106:21]
Ari Shafir
See where your body Is.
[106:22]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, the movies. It's like you just get transported to another planet, you know, like an X Men or some. And it's like that. So you just. Then you're just there and like, okay, you're still there, but it's like your scope changes.
[106:32]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, it's like pressing on GTA when you press the select. You see from up here.
[106:36]
Marty O'Neal
Oh yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. But times, you know, a billion miles. And then, and then like and. And also time changes and like your relation to time changed and it was like, but everyone has a different thing. So. And then, but. And also beforehand you got to snort some tobacco. They put liquid tobacco and snort it. Because then you got, you know, and it's like, oh yeah, you can get a re up of that if you want. I wish I would because my. I was starting to get tired but my thoughts were still flying and I was like, I think I gotta call it.
[107:06]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, it's your pep.
[107:07]
Thomas Dope
Was there a party that was aware? Like normally you just kind of watching this DMT trip at all. Like, were you not Ayahuasca or.
[107:15]
Marty O'Neal
Ayahuasca?
[107:15]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[107:16]
Marty O'Neal
Watching me. Yeah, I was just like, kind of didn't care about the Mimi. Such an ego separation, like mushrooms is one thing, but this was like even more just looking at yourself like this and then making decisions about this guy who's you.
[107:28]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, this guy. When you start saying that, that's when you know you're gone.
[107:31]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, this guy should do this instead. This guy should do more of that. That guy likes that. He should do it more, you know?
[107:38]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[107:39]
Thomas Dope
How long did it last for?
[107:41]
Marty O'Neal
The other person went. Went back and like, tough to say. Five to seven hours. Oh, I stayed till all. Almost probably like so if we just have it probably 12, 12 or 1 or 2 or something. They said I probably stayed till 4. Another couple hours afterwards and I was fighting tired because my mind was just flying with so such clear thoughts and anyone I should ask for a re up of that tobacco that. That guy did. And then. And I was like, oh, I gotta get that later. But. But then, yeah, I found a piece of paper and then I was like just scrambling. I didn't want to forget, but also not getting too locked into it. Oh man, it was crazy. It was crazy. The thoughts you had, the conversations you had with whatever was out there. It was pretty. It was pretty cool. And the guy's like, do you want to go? The next day, breakfast was just like fruit, fruit salad. A little puppy out there. I kept trying to feed him food. It was Great. What a cute puppy. I forgot about that thing. And then he goes, you want to go again tomorrow? And we're like, oh, no, no, we didn't plan that. I remember Desmond had told us he went three days in a row. You go four days in a row if you want. And you go further and further.
[108:51]
Ari Shafir
Oh, wow.
[108:52]
Marty O'Neal
That's when he got to like, I saw how I was gonna die. I saw the future of myself. I wasn't seeing that. I was just seeing like what I wanted and things and like my relation to the world and stuff.
[109:02]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[109:03]
Marty O'Neal
But like, yeah, it's even more of an ego breakdown. And then I don't know where it would get. But it was like if. If they told us going in four days, maybe I would have done. But it was like having to decide that when you're like. It was like after salvo, you're like, I'm worn out. Or after mushrooms, like, I'm worn out. And even if, you know you need like double or triple the mushrooms the next day to work, the same. But like, like, I have tripled the mushrooms. Like, I just don't have the energy for it anymore, man. It was just thinking too much.
[109:29]
Thomas Dope
Exhausting.
[109:30]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. So it was like, if I knew going in I might come back. But then it was like, nah, I will do it again. But yeah, I didn't go back. And then that was it. And then I got right back into town and. And then just for the next three days, we just hung out in this Amazonian city and just. I just journaled as the stuff was like, just fading away and I'm just trying to write it all down. 3 days non stop of writing. Not creative writing. Just getting down all the memories and stuff and then like use it and. And yeah.
[109:59]
Thomas Dope
Have you gone back and.
[110:00]
Marty O'Neal
No, I gotta go back and look at it. I do got to go back and look at it. Because it was. I know I did like, like a month later, but not for a few years. Yeah. To see what I forgot. Any travel journal I've ever taken, I look back on it now once in a while. I'm like, oh, that guy. Oh, that, that restaurant. I forgot we got that journal. I forgot that whole city.
[110:18]
Ari Shafir
Awesome.
[110:19]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, some Canadian girl taught me that in the morning, 10 minutes every morning at breakfast or coffee. Just like, right, for 10 minutes. What you did the day before.
[110:25]
Ari Shafir
Huh.
[110:26]
Marty O'Neal
People names and like that. And then it's like, like it's there.
[110:30]
Thomas Dope
Probably a lot of bits, like, hidden.
[110:32]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. But you can go back and like, if you're writing A story about. Like, if you're doing a story about something that happened, you want to remember all the details of it, you know? So it's. Especially if you do this all the time, you know? So then you go back to. You're like, oh, oh, right, right. Just. Or your friend will tell you, like, well, remember the day before you did this? Like, oh, yeah.
[110:49]
Ari Shafir
Yeah. So hearing you say that, I feel like no matter what psychedelic you're doing, yeah. There's like everybody. There's a lobby that everybody can meet up at. There's a certain level that mushrooms can get you to level one. And these other ones go further. Because when you're saying, whoever I was talking to, I took like a seven grams of my wife. She took seven. We pitch black, no music lobby. And it's like the waiting room. Like. Like in Beetlejuice where everybody's like, what happened to you? That's how I feel. Like, oh, you're. Oh, I can't go that high. You're on some other.
[111:20]
Marty O'Neal
Damn.
[111:20]
Ari Shafir
Because what you said, I had to talk to some people that I felt like I knew we had memories about each other.
[111:25]
Marty O'Neal
Tmt. They say that too. It's like a whole little carnival ride. You go in there, you go through the doors, and you're in another place.
[111:30]
Ari Shafir
Yeah, I was somewhere else. I could see my body the whole time, but I was another.
[111:33]
Marty O'Neal
Really.
[111:33]
Ari Shafir
And I saw that damn Aztec clay thing keep spinning by the sun. Oh, and it kept turning. And then. And then I brought my wife. I was like, guys, I got you to meet. So I met somebody down there. And I picked. They're like, remember, you were up here with us, but you fell down. I was like, oh, yeah, I fell to earth. And that kid. That's what we were talking about. Like, oh, that's right. That's why you're down there now. Like, well, we're waiting for you. I was like, I met somebody. I brought her up. The next morning we're talking a bunch of happened the next morning we're talking, and she keeps talking about part of my trip. You were with me, the guy with red hair. You brought me up. We were talking at a table. But that's what I was doing in my trip. And then we both had the same exact situation. She described it. The guy to the T. This guy had armor on, like, red hair. Was talking about that. Remember walking over that China place? That place, all these people with, like water baskets and walking. It was crazy.
[112:25]
Marty O'Neal
Wow.
[112:25]
Ari Shafir
I was gone for.
[112:26]
Marty O'Neal
And I think. What do you think? I know there's no right answer. But you think that was other people in another place being in the lobby. That's what you think. And not just like people that lived in the lobby.
[112:36]
Ari Shafir
I think they live there.
[112:37]
Marty O'Neal
They're always there.
[112:38]
Ari Shafir
And I think I live in the lobby. And I think we all do. We're just like, oh, this is yours. Look at the Silver Surfer board. I told you. And everybody was just sitting at it, like. But there was no chairs. It was like six people. It was weird, but we all get to some spot. But I've never broke through. And like, I've heard your trip. Like, I had a. Would you. Your DM teacher. But I had six months of a different life.
[112:59]
Marty O'Neal
Salvia, Sal.
[113:00]
Ari Shafir
See? Salvia. I don't like that lady. Thought I was rich. I thought I was rich and then I woke up and I wasn't.
[113:05]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You're like, oh, I like that world better.
[113:07]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[113:08]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[113:09]
Ari Shafir
Is like, oh, by the way, I'll buy all these, Mike. Thank you.
[113:12]
Thomas Dope
Like a reverse bad trip. When you wake up and your life is shitty.
[113:16]
Ari Shafir
You're like, ah, for $20, I had a cool life.
[113:21]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[113:22]
Ari Shafir
So that's. That's how I feel. Like with certain psychedelics, we can all find each other somewhere up there.
[113:26]
Marty O'Neal
That's Shroomfest. So if you think there's a place to meet up. Don't you think probably also if you're on them at the same time, you're like more. More kind of more connected. The mushrooms all connect everybody in the universe, you know, you feel connected universe. Like people doing shrooms with the same intention of doing them. For that reason. These aren't passerbys that are doing them randomly that day. It's like, I'm gonna join in with all you all guys. And not a day. It's a three day period. Plenty of time to get it. Yeah. If you got a big wedding on Saturday, don't do it to it Sunday or Monday. If you get a big test on Monday, Saturday's your day.
[113:56]
Ari Shafir
That sounds so fun. I'm so happy to participate this year.
[113:59]
Thomas Dope
Right. Turn a lot of people onto this.
[114:02]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[114:02]
Ari Shafir
I guarantee you do it hashtag Shroom.
[114:04]
Marty O'Neal
Fest or hashtag shooter 2025. I don't know. Let's hashtag. They still use those?
[114:08]
Ari Shafir
I think so.
[114:09]
Marty O'Neal
Okay. September 6th, 7th and 8th. 6th, 7th and or 8th. It's the new. It's your new Christmas. Everyone who listens to this, celebrate my birthday with me. Yeah.
[114:18]
Thomas Dope
You got a new storytelling show coming out.
[114:20]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, we're taping a New season.
[114:21]
Thomas Dope
But it's a live show.
[114:23]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. What do you mean?
[114:25]
Thomas Dope
Like, you can get tickets to it?
[114:27]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. You get tickets to taping.
[114:28]
Thomas Dope
Oh, gosh.
[114:29]
Marty O'Neal
In New York. Yeah, it's in New York in April on 420 and 421 and 422 and 22. Yeah. Just stories. All comic selling stories.
[114:37]
Thomas Dope
So then where is it gonna come out?
[114:38]
Marty O'Neal
I don't know. Who cares about that? It's making it first.
[114:44]
Thomas Dope
Oh, gotcha.
[114:45]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I didn't know about that. But I was doing that.
[114:48]
Thomas Dope
I was gonna ask, like, when you're doing it.
[114:49]
Marty O'Neal
I'm just doing it. I'm doing it for a loss house.
[114:53]
Ari Shafir
Sounds like us. I'm doing it in the red.
[114:55]
Thomas Dope
We hope it works out.
[114:56]
Marty O'Neal
Everyone on the specials. I'm doing it on. Not a commission. Nobody's paying me. I'm doing it. Putting too much money into it just to, like, hope the same as this taping. And then we'll. We'll say it'll. It'll all work out. People are gonna see. Yeah, but so I can hope for. Yeah. Anyway, I'm excited for him working.
[115:09]
Ari Shafir
Everybody get tickets at go to her.
[115:11]
Marty O'Neal
Arishafir.Com for the last rest of my tour. Up until January, I guess. No, June. June. And then I'm done finishing Anchorage and then like 27th. Yeah.
[115:21]
Ari Shafir
I'm very excited to see sh.
[115:23]
Marty O'Neal
Where am I going to be for shroom?
[115:24]
Ari Shafir
Well, that you bring me on top.
[115:26]
Marty O'Neal
Of somewhere out in the world. Yeah. I might be somewhere close out, like Machu Picchu or. Or Pyramid in Egypt. That be s. That would be the place to do it. If I'm like, oh, damn, I'm supposed to be there Friday. I'm like, let's wait till Saturday. Shroom Fest.
[115:39]
Ari Shafir
You need to get out more.
[115:40]
Thomas Dope
Right? I know.
[115:41]
Ari Shafir
I've been to the beach three times. I lived here for 10 years.
[115:43]
Marty O'Neal
What you got to get out. I did acid at the Pyramids once. Only time I've been there. It. Yeah.
[115:52]
Ari Shafir
We gotta start doing more fun, man. I gotta be honest. The past couple guests like real travel. Like, for what? Yeah, it's scary out there.
[116:00]
Thomas Dope
Did it hit different being there?
[116:02]
Marty O'Neal
I know. Yeah, I guess somebody gave it to me in Manchester, England, in a little card. Sometimes fans are cool and they'll look like. One time in Salt Lake City was like. It was like a joint, a tab and something else with it.
[116:15]
Ari Shafir
People must give you so much.
[116:17]
Marty O'Neal
And it was like, here's it for your night. I was like, oh, it's perfect.
[116:19]
Ari Shafir
Yeah.
[116:21]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I might have been a little Molly, too. I don't know. It was a little car. It was nice and. But anyway, I was like, all right, well, when time is right, it's, you know, the easiest to travel with his acid. One or two tabs, and it's like, no one's gonna find it between two credit cards or whatever in a book. So, yeah, I had it around and then I was, like, headed towards Egypt. I'm like, like, oh, yep, that's. This is it. This is for sure the right place. I've been saving it through, you know, England.
[116:45]
Ari Shafir
Are you by yourself on most of these trips?
[116:46]
Marty O'Neal
This one I am, yeah, for sure. And so I got that. Took it early, got there, walked around, had a great time. Then somebody. Towards the end, the universe provides parades. So some guy was like, hey, do you want to see? There's all these bribe takers there. And they're like, can't come in, but give me 10. 10 Egyptian dollars, pesos, whatever they're called. I don't know. They call some. And then I was like, okay. And like, sure, take all the pictures you want. And that's like $2, $3. There's all these bribes. Just 3 bucks. 3 bucks. I do whatever. And so one guy was like, do you wanna. And I'm. And I'm done for the day. I'm out. You know, I've seen everything. All the Chinese showed up and stuff and ruined it by the Sphinx. And some guy's like, hey, hey, hey. Do you want. Do you want a private tour? I'm like. And I'm like, I don't really have any money. I was telling no to bribe takers all day and. And the co writers, all the hawkers. No, no, I'm good, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Good. Like, just try this. H. Just try this turbo. I'm like, I don't want to, like, try. Give. Give me this. I'm like, dude, I don't want it. Leave me alone. Just walked around and got into the pyramid stuff. So I'm by the Sphinx on the way out of this. It's like a big park with the fencing around it. And then, like, he goes, hey, you want to, like, tour of, like, a mummy's tomb? And I was like, yeah. I'm like, hey, I don't have any money, though. I'm like, kind of out of money. And he goes, no, it's okay. I just want to show you it's cool. And so he took me. Whatever. He goes, okay, I do Need a bribe for this guy, because he's taking me. He's gonna open up a gate. And he goes, oh, he give him 100, but don't. But you're giving me 200. But don't tell him you're giving me 200. Just tell him 100. And they're like, okay. And so then, like, gave him 100. The guy opened this padlock. We walked through or whatever, and he goes down. There's where a mummy was buried. There's, like, Egypt's way into, like, the magic of land and, like, powerful places, you know?
[118:23]
Thomas Dope
Yeah.
[118:24]
Marty O'Neal
Like, this is, like, a hot spot. That's why the mummies got buried there. You know, King got better because, like, this is a magical spot, whatever it might be.
[118:32]
Ari Shafir
Right. But it might be.
[118:33]
Marty O'Neal
And he goes, here. This is where this one mummy was, like. Was entombed. And he wanted it because this spot has, like, magical powers. And he goes, I'll be back in, like, in, like, 15. But just sit here. And I was like, yeah. I was like, all right. I might die, but it's over. It's already over. I'm here. I'm here. And he left. And I'm like, you're tripping. Yeah, I'm tripping. Yeah. I wasn't even thinking about that. But, yeah, I was tripping pretty hard. And I sat there about 10 minutes, this. And. And just kind of soaking it in, and I felt nothing. What a. What a country religion that is. And I. No magic. Shut up. And I just pissed in there. And then I. I had to pay. I definitely had to pay. I pissed towards the exit. But, like. And then we walked back, and I was like, that was cool, though. And showing me all this stuff, new excavations, and. And. And I was like, oh, here. And I'm on an escape. So I'm just like, here's 600 or whatever. And then the guy's like, what? He's like, yeah, thanks. That was good. He was like, yeah, thanks for the tip. And then I was like, yeah. And he goes like. He saw he got me too hard. He goes, take, like, $30. He goes, you're gonna need something for, like, a tea or something on the way home. Like, I can't leave you with nothing. This is definitely a big fish I.
[119:40]
Ari Shafir
Just caught, but American on drugs. He took a piss in here.
[119:47]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, that acid ruled. That was a fun one. That was a fun one. Yeah. You guys made me remember some stuff.
[119:54]
Ari Shafir
Oh, man, I gotta get out. I'm gonna go smoke a joint outside today.
[119:57]
Thomas Dope
You got to put A book together from your little journal.
[119:59]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, I gotta. I gotta for sure. Oh, I got it. That's a good story. I gotta write that down. I gotta like, remember that. That's a good one.
[120:06]
Ari Shafir
Took a piss in there. Oh, get out.
[120:10]
Marty O'Neal
You guys are fun. I gotta piss so hard right now.
[120:12]
Ari Shafir
Oh, me too. So I was about to end it.
[120:14]
Marty O'Neal
Okay. I never have to like, God, we've.
[120:17]
Ari Shafir
Done five hour show before. I've never had to like, I think I need to go to the bathroom.
[120:20]
Marty O'Neal
Oh, I'm like, oh, my.
[120:21]
Ari Shafir
Oh, I don't understand. Me too.
[120:23]
Marty O'Neal
I'm bringing out your inner Jew. The small bladder Y.
[120:25]
Ari Shafir
That's exactly what it is.
[120:26]
Marty O'Neal
Boys. This was fun.
[120:27]
Ari Shafir
My back hurts. My stomach.
[120:28]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah. I can't see right. Luckily, I'm not going bald. But everything else has been brown.
[120:33]
Ari Shafir
Brown gave me that. They're like. And you can see your stomach and backs. You're going to complain about everything.
[120:39]
Marty O'Neal
All right.
[120:39]
Ari Shafir
America's sweetheart.
[120:40]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah.
[120:41]
Ari Shafir
Farewell farewell tour.
[120:42]
Marty O'Neal
Yeah, America. Netflix Jew is on YouTube specials type that. Yeah, yeah. You know, you'll be on the list and then. And that's it. Do some dates. Have fun, guys. Just focus on some positive in the world. You can do it. You can find a way. Like you're doing a radio interview and they have a bathroom ready to go.
[121:00]
Ari Shafir
Hell yeah. Thanks for being here. All right, go ahead, go to the bathroom, guys. Oh my God. I have to piss so violently. Bad too. It's kind of crazy.
[121:09]
Thomas Dope
I'm glad he didn't just go in here. Like in the pyramid.
[121:15]
Ari Shafir
I've seen the absolute pisses and bottles under the table. I would have been highly upset. Started feeling warm on my shoes. Oh, yo. All right, guys. Thank you so much. I have to be too. This has been the Arch Fear episode. He is currently touching his dick in another room. And here we are.
[121:36]
Marty O'Neal
Water.
[121:37]
Ari Shafir
It's in the toilet. All right, guys, thanks so much for being here. This is mar Deal. That was AR Fear. Have a dope ass day.
[121:51]
Marty O'Neal
Perfect, perfect, perfect.