Wild Things w/ Sam Morril!

Summary

DOPE AS USUAL Podcast: "Wild Things w/ Sam Morril!"

Hosts: Marty O’Neill & Thomas Araujo
Guest: Sam Morril
Release Date: August 26, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode features comedian Sam Morril, known for his razor-sharp wit and candid storytelling. The conversation swings from playful banter about family quirks, life on the road, and wild comedy tales, to deeper topics like neuroses, substance habits, and the search for comfort in modern life. As always, the DOPE AS USUAL crew steers the chat through a hilarious labyrinth of pop culture, sports, nostalgia, and unique perspectives on everything from rats in New York to the magic of Adam Sandler movies.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opener: Family Ancestry, Siblings & Relatability

• Sam discusses his commitment to safe sex, referencing his accidental birth:

  “I see. I pretty much always wear a condom out of fear of, like, you know, I don't want to be on the road.” (00:20)

• The group shares stories of discovering unknown siblings via DNA tests and ancestry sites.
• Sam reveals he has a half-brother he’s never met in LA and muses lightheartedly about family expectations:

  "I floated it. And they like, yeah, he doesn't really want to meet you. I was like, all right." (02:16)

• Rapid-fire jokes about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “secret son” lead into riffs on family inclusion and the awkwardness of meeting estranged relatives.

  “What am I gonna do? I'm that kid who shows up, the weird looking one at the end of the photo.” (03:02, Sam)

2. Kennedy Family & Celebrity Dysfunction [03:30]

• The Kennedys' scandals are dissected with chummy ignorance and laughter, including tragic stories and rumors about genetic curses:

  “For all the privilege they have, they really get Maria Shriver… for all the wealth and influence and power. It just does not end well for any of them.” (03:36, Sam)

• Lighthearted Kennedy bashing transitions into a critique of RFK Jr.’s lifestyle and habits:

  “Why are you bench £400 in your 70s? That's not… Whatever's in your body isn't natural.” (04:58, Sam)

3. Tangible Nostalgia: Physical Media [07:30]

• Marty and Sam bond over their love for DVDs, laserdiscs, and physical albums:

  “I still buy DVDs. I like collections. I like the tangible thing.” (07:33, Sam)

• Wild anecdotes about buying “Wild Things” on laserdisc for $60 prompt hilarity about dated tech and lost formats.

4. European Adventures (Travel, Anne Frank House, and More) [09:06 – 14:54]

• Sam discusses gigs and experiences on the road in Europe, from awkward electrical outlets to failed attempts at visiting the Anne Frank House:

  “I felt like I had to go just as a Jew. My mom's like, you have to go.” (11:13, Sam)

• Hilarious story about accidentally booking a walking tour instead of a house tour, then getting support from famous Jewish celebrities.
• The hosts riff on Anne Frank, banned book controversies, and the bizarre topics of childhood education.
• Recurring theme: Making dark topics light through comedy and camaraderie.

5. Drug & Alcohol Use: Preferences, Experiences, and Comedy [15:34 – 24:33]

• Sam’s attitude toward drinking vs. weed:

  “I don't like drugs that enhance my thoughts. I like to shut everything down. I like to drink stuff to go ‘shut the fuck up and be enjoyable for a sec.’” (21:13, Sam)

• Backstage stories about comedy, substance abuse in the scene, and the challenges of moderation.
• Talk of maintaining creativity, writing new jokes, and mental blocks—plus, why drinking with nice people is the move.

6. Comedy on the Road: Performance Habits & Bombing [24:33 – 25:48]

• Marty seeks advice about performing sober vs. high:

  “You can't just rely on a drug to do your job, right?” (25:09, Sam)

• The dangers of letting substances define comedic performance, and why clarity on stage is important.

7. Childhood Nostalgia – Cartoons & Conspiracy Theories [27:20 – 32:37]

• Gushing over Adam Sandler and the comfort of old movies/albums:

  “It’s like a comfort thing because it’s our childhood.” (29:07, Sam)

• Cartoons discussed: SpongeBob, Rugrats, Saved by the Bell.
• Conspiracy theories about the meaning behind Rugrats and how nostalgia often serves as an emotional anchor:

  “Life is hard and you need stuff that just makes you feel good.” (29:21, Sam)

8. Sports: Basketball, Football, and Athletics [35:57 – 44:25]

• Favorite sports, playing styles, and generational shifts:

  “You play the way you grew up. So I play like a 90s guy: back people down, bank shots. It's efficient, fundamental.” (37:58, Sam)

• Hometown pride and feuding over which city holds the title “America’s team.”
• Peppered with sports trivia, insider tales, and admiration for Buffalo Bills fans’ dedication.

9. Stand-up Journeys: Sam & Mark Normand’s Relationship [59:50 – 66:24]

• Sam describes his long friendship with Mark Normand, highlighting their early days of writing jokes at coffee shops:

  “You find you're your best self with those people because you're just willing to kind of take a weird chance and be very you.” (60:55, Sam)

• Anecdotes on touring, honing their craft in obscurity, and the evolution into more public recognition.
• The importance of real friendship in podcasting and creative work, as opposed to forced showbiz partnerships.

10. Podcasting, Hollywood, and the Future of Content [67:12 – 69:24]

• Why genuine chemistry is everything in entertainment; critique of phony celebrity podcasts.
• Reflections on authenticity, self-awareness, and why humor that doesn't take itself too seriously is most lasting.

11. Deep-Dive Movie Talk: Comfort Films, Dramas, and Film Critique [106:31 – 117:55]

• Extended, passionate exchange about favorite movies, from 1940s noir to 90s comedies and Tarantino classics:

  “I love old movies. I love when a script lasts, like, the test of time. That’s why I love Double Indemnity or Out of the Past from, like, the 40s. Because I'm like, oh, these were just so good that they're still good.” (113:53, Sam)

• Marty and Sam swap movie recommendations, discuss the comfort of rewatchables, and praise the detailed characterizations of classic cinema.
• Movies mentioned: Pulp Fiction, Dumb and Dumber, South Park, The Whale, Boogie Nights, Mean Streets, Something Wild, The Player, Groundhog Day, Kramer vs Kramer, and many more.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Sibling Discoveries & Family

• “Could you imagine having a friend you don’t like that much? But it's like he’s attached to me for long life.” (00:48, Marty)
• “They raised him and he turned out shitty. And then he didn’t raise me and I turned out all right.” (02:43, Sam)

On Travel & European Hangups

• “All those damn outlets just… Can we just get the same outlets? Do I sound like an American privileged prick?” (09:12, Sam)

On Drinking Rituals in Comedy

• “I like like social drugs. I don’t like to drug my… I mean it's really just caffeine and booze for me” (21:49, Sam)
• “You can't just rely on a drug to do your job, right?” (25:09, Sam)

On Performing and Bombing

• “I've been too drunk on stage before… I could have had a couple less drinks usually.” (25:25, Sam)

On Pop Culture & Nostalgia

• “It’s like a comfort thing because it’s our childhood.” (29:01, Sam)
• “Life is hard and you need stuff that just… makes you feel good.” (29:21, Sam)

On New York Rats

• “The mice are, like, apologetic and scared. The rats will just, like, run by and you’re like, dude, what the hell? They think they own the city.” (51:32, Sam)

On Comedy Partnership

• “Your friendships are… weirdest thing about getting older is… the group kind of… tightens a little bit and you hold on to the people who… are good friends and you’re close to.” (65:46, Sam)
• “People can tell if you’re not really friends… You’re like a child of divorce… this is terrible.” (67:12, Sam)

On Movie Comforts

• “Movies have never let me down. They’ve always been there.” (119:49, Marty)
• “When you see people put that kind of work into it and build a beautiful world that we want to fucking live in, it’s the best, right?” (119:53, Sam)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Family and siblings talk: [00:20 – 04:00]
• Kennedy family/Ted Kennedy: [03:30 – 04:30]
• Comedy and substance use: [15:34 – 21:41]
• Onstage drug/alcohol rituals: [24:33 – 25:54]
• Physical media nostalgia: [07:33 – 08:30]
• Europe & Anne Frank House: [11:03 – 13:42]
• Nostalgia, Sandler & Cartoons: [27:20 – 32:37]
• Sports & Buffalo Fans: [35:57 – 44:25]
• Podcasting/Mark Normand: [59:50 – 66:24]
• Movie Rankings & Favorites: [106:31 – 117:55]

---

Closing – Tour Dates & Plugs

• Sam Morril’s “Eras” Tour:
  — Chicago Theater: October 4th
  — Carnegie Hall: December 4th
  — Major European cities: Barcelona, Milan, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Dublin, Liverpool, Berlin
  — Oklahoma City (Bricktown Comedy Club) this weekend

• Find Dates & Tickets:
  samuel.com (Official Site Recommended)

• Podcast:
  "We Might Be Drunk" with Mark Normand. Latest episode out with Greg Fitzsimmons ([128:56]).

---

This episode is a dense, irreverent, and comedic deep-dive into the minds of three friends who thrive on turning real life and random pop culture into a lively, thoroughly entertaining conversation. Whether it’s the finer points of old-world cinema or a rat running across a New York apartment, everything is on the table — and nothing is too sacred to get roasted.

Transcript

[Marty]

Oh, you can.

[Sam Morril]

Perfect.

[Marty]

Perfect, Perfect.

[Sam Morril]

Perfect. I see. I pretty much always wear a condom out of fear of, like, you know, I don't want to be on the road. Yeah, always. And then I put it on the thing and I blow it up like a, Like a balloon. Yeah. No, I. I just feel like I have to. I don't want to.

[Guest/Producer]

You're a responsible human child.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, well, I was born that way. I was, I was an accident, so I don't want to. I don't want one of those out there, you know? I don't want one of me or.

[Marty]

One of you that's like. You're not even half as cool as me. Am I gonna chill with you?

[Sam Morril]

That would suck.

[Marty]

Imagine having a friend you don't like that much. But it's like he's attached to me for long life.

[Sam Morril]

I think that's why a lot of people leave, you know?

[Marty]

Man. This is my little brother. So he came out really? Yeah, he came out Cool.

[Sam Morril]

Holy, you guys look so different. Yeah, he has a different dad. You look like you went to Vassar or something.

[Marty]

Yeah, he looks like he's about to go to Vietnam with his glasses and shirt.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. This is very different spectrum right here. This is crazy.

[Marty]

I'm off the spectrum.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

This fool has a little tism y.

[Guest/Producer]

So then, speaking of which, I found out last week I have a sibling. Shout out to everybody.

[Sam Morril]

Really? You just found it out? How?

[Guest/Producer]

Through ancestry. Somebody reached out to me. I was on a business trip and. Yeah, guys, I found out I have a sister that's like 20 years older than me.

[Sam Morril]

Did you meet her?

[Guest/Producer]

No, not yet. We just talked for the first time, like two days ago.

[Marty]

His family sucks. So this is the good part.

[Sam Morril]

So they're all nice.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

So she's so cool, so.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Are you, are you excited to have another member or are you kind of like.

[Guest/Producer]

No, I'm super excited.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

I'm an only child, so, like.

[Marty]

And everybody's gone, essentially.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

My parents passing, so it's like, oh, I'm sorry. We got. Yeah, I appreciate it, but found out I had a sister, guys, so.

[Marty]

Pretty cool.

[Sam Morril]

I have a half brother out here in LA who I've never met.

[Marty]

What?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I've just never met him.

[Marty]

Half Mexican.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's a half Mexican. He's my, he's my cholo half. And could you imagine him with a button? He buttons this one at the top and unbuttons the rest.

[Marty]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

No, I, no, I just, I, I, I floated It. And, and they like, yeah, he doesn't really want to meet you. I was like, all right.

[Guest/Producer]

Oh, yeah, that's. I mean, that happens.

[Marty]

What if he's just one of the guys at the shows, like, this is offensive and leaves? Who cares then, Then you really don't want his ass.

[Guest/Producer]

When did you find out on.

[Sam Morril]

I found out fairly young. I, but I, I, I just, you know, I don't want to meet someone doesn't want to be me. But. Yeah.

[Marty]

Oh, hell no.

[Guest/Producer]

But do you wonder about it all the time or.

[Sam Morril]

No, not really.

[Marty]

It just, you know, from your dad and your mom.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, probably it's from my, I had a biological dad who didn't stick around, so it's his son. Oh, so he, so it's like a social experiment. He raised him and he turned out shitty. And then he didn't raise me and I turned out all right.

[Marty]

Like Arnold's kids.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. I'm the, I'm the made one.

[Marty]

Yeah, you're the good, you're the one. The foreign lady one.

[Sam Morril]

But there is that side of the family and they like try to include me and later and it's like, what am I gonna do? I'm that kid who shows up, the weird looking one at the end of the photo. Just like, hey, why do you look like.

[Marty]

It's a little.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, a little though.

[Marty]

That's just a little like my, the last one. Laugh. Actor. I've met cousins. I've never met. All my family in east la. I've never met him ever.

[Guest/Producer]

No, they came out to the show.

[Marty]

Yeah. Oh, you weren't there. Yes, they came. I've never met this whole, like, how.

[Guest/Producer]

Many people are we talking about?

[Marty]

3.

[Guest/Producer]

Nice.

[Sam Morril]

It is crazy that Arnold was just the maid, right?

[Marty]

Not crazy at all. He's probably holding one up and banging one at the same time.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but like curling one. The Kennedys really get, huh? Yeah. I mean, for all the privilege they have, they really get Maria Shriver Kennedy. Right. I mean, yeah, for all the, for all the wealth and influence and power. It just does not end well for any of them.

[Marty]

Maybe they have so much like, you know, take him out. This one. Yes. Another one.

[Guest/Producer]

Maybe they just signed a deal with the devil early on.

[Sam Morril]

They must have. But they were like the first American family. And then. What's his name in the plane crash. The really handsome one.

[Marty]

What's his name? The Kennedy junior.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Yeah, that's up. Someone shot that down.

[Sam Morril]

Isn't that crazy?

[Marty]

Yeah. You don't check the Kennedy Junior's Plane before he leaves.

[Sam Morril]

And then you got Ted Kennedy. He got. Well, he's like a. I don't know.

[Marty]

Politics. So you gotta explain.

[Sam Morril]

Well, he was a senator and he. He had the lady dead in his car. Remember that one? That was him. I don't know about that.

[Marty]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

We're hella ignorant about.

[Marty]

Oh, the most ignorant of you can imagine.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you know. You know jfk?

[Marty]

I know jfk.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He got shot in the. In the.

[Marty]

In the dome.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Did you. Did you guys. Yes. You watch the Kirby enthusiasm.

[Sam Morril]

I love it. Yeah.

[Marty]

All right, me too. Cheryl, did you know she's married?

[Sam Morril]

Rfk for now. That. That. This is not ending well.

[Marty]

I didn't know that was real.

[Sam Morril]

Well, he cheated on her, right? I mean, or at least. Very least was like text cheating. But, you know, that guy's kennedies can't keep their dick in their pants.

[Marty]

No, that.

[Sam Morril]

If you look like that and you're 74 and you're still shredded, you're not done. Just be a gentleman and let it disintegrate a little bit. It's too much. And he. No. Why are you bench £400 in your 70s? That's not. I love. I know. He's like the. You know, it's good that he's trying to get the chemicals out of food.

[Marty]

Hell yeah.

[Sam Morril]

At a certain point, like, whatever's in your body isn't natural.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah, for sure.

[Sam Morril]

You're talking about all these, like, weird hormones in the food. Look at you.

[Marty]

He's taking HGH for the big man.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's huge. And I also don't like dudes who work out in jeans. It kind of bothers me. Put on some shorts or sweats like a person.

[Marty]

But unless you're about to fight the Russians.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

You can't wear jeans and work out.

[Sam Morril]

Okay, let's say when you see a dude at the basketball court and he pulls up in jeans, you're like, what are you doing?

[Guest/Producer]

He's got Tim's on.

[Sam Morril]

And I don't like it. I know I'm catching an elbow from that guy. I don't like that guy. They don't know how to move their body if you're playing in jeans. And then you get the, you know, rfk. I think he's. Well, if his wife killed herself, you know, I think everything I said back.

[Marty]

Okay, I didn't know anything about this.

[Sam Morril]

She killed herself. And he had like a diary of all the women he. It's one thing to cheat on your wife. Don't Write a book.

[Guest/Producer]

That's Dexter.

[Sam Morril]

You have to write. You're a psycho. And it's like, you know, I understand suicide is complicated, but I don't think the book helped. I don't think she caught that. And I was like, nah, this is good.

[Marty]

My sister too. Yeah. It's an all alphabetical order. I used to keep numbers of people that buy weed and drugs for me, but not people that I was cheating with.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you can keep the numbers, but you don't have to detail it.

[Marty]

No. Well, maybe he's just a intellectual feminine man.

[Guest/Producer]

He's that organized.

[Marty]

He's that organized. Cr.

[Sam Morril]

That's not. That's not feminine. To write that. That's psychotic. That's. That's. As you said, that's serial killer. To be like her. Is this her? This. She sucks. This is her level. It's like that episode of It's Always Sunny where he has all the video tapes.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah, you know, Dennis Reynolds, man, That's.

[Sam Morril]

That's what he is.

[Marty]

He's Dennis Reynold. The implication.

[Guest/Producer]

He's like ranking them. He's gamified it.

[Marty]

Keeps a hair. One string of hair and tapes it in.

[Sam Morril]

I can't believe you usually smoke in here. I'd be dead if you would die. I don't.

[Marty]

It gets so bad that the white balance throws off the cameras.

[Sam Morril]

How old are you guys? Are you still smoking like that? Oh, are you young? You look young, right, 35.

[Guest/Producer]

I'm 30. Really?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. You look great.

[Marty]

I look at a child.

[Sam Morril]

You got great skin. Look at that.

[Marty]

Good genes.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

39 today.

[Sam Morril]

Are you? Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

Appreciate it.

[Sam Morril]

You don't see a lot of young. The flat brim. You don't see a lot of 39 year olds in the flat brim.

[Marty]

Marty is. Is.

[Sam Morril]

He's.

[Marty]

He can't. He's in 2004. He's not coming out of it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I'm the same way. I still. I still buy DVDs.

[Marty]

Do you?

[Sam Morril]

I do. I like collections. Me too.

[Marty]

I like.

[Sam Morril]

I like. I like putting it in. Yeah, I do. I like putting it in the. I like the. I like the tangible thing. I like that.

[Marty]

I like the artwork.

[Sam Morril]

I do.

[Marty]

I like. That's why I buy DVDs. I mean, CDs and records still.

[Sam Morril]

I. Me too. There's something fun about it.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Sam Morril]

People think I'm a fucking psycho, but I like it.

[Marty]

You know what's a psycho? My sister buying Blu Ray. No, no, no. Laserdisc.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's weird.

[Marty]

This has a collection Like, I have of weed laser on display.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, LaserDisc really came and went. I remember when they were like, it's like, you want to buy fogin. You want to buy wild things for 59.99? Like, not really. Like. Well, that's our business model. Every movie costs a shitload of money. Is the quality better? No, it's not even good.

[Marty]

It's actually this big.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

I never even saw a party bowl.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, they're huge.

[Marty]

It's as big as her chest.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Wild Things was a great.

[Sam Morril]

That's what I say. Her tits look like laser discs, dude. Crazy. Did you say dicks?

[Marty]

Could be. She were in la. You never know. Yeah, we started off just talking and. But it's all good.

[Sam Morril]

That's what we're supposed to do.

[Marty]

I know, I know.

[Sam Morril]

The podcast for sure. Come on. All right.

[Marty]

Look at the table.

[Sam Morril]

I don't have pants.

[Marty]

There's no.

[Sam Morril]

That was your foot. Jesus.

[Marty]

It wasn't my foot.

[Sam Morril]

You have a huge dick.

[Marty]

It's the small child I keep on here like Matilda. This is just posted up under the table. Okay. You're going to Europe soon.

[Sam Morril]

I am going to Europe. I love. I love going to Europe.

[Marty]

All right, you love. What's the thing you hate the most about Europe?

[Sam Morril]

God, what do I hate? I was just saying all those damn outlets just. Can we just get the same outlets? Do I sound like an American privileged prick? I have to bring a whole bag of little outlets. That bugs me.

[Marty]

It's a new block.

[Sam Morril]

What else? What else bugs me about the Europeans? I guess it's country by country.

[Marty]

Yes. Yes, it is.

[Sam Morril]

The French are really rude people. I mean, they're very. I sounded like Trump the way I said that. Very rude people. The worst people. No, but I love France. It's beautiful.

[Marty]

No rude people in France.

[Sam Morril]

You know, rude people.

[Marty]

Just in Germany.

[Sam Morril]

Germany. I've never been to Germany. I'm going to Berlin for the first time.

[Marty]

I was just in Berlin. That's where I was.

[Sam Morril]

Just at the fun.

[Marty]

It was awesome. And then the guy's like, hey, you. Six hours.

[Sam Morril]

They felt your half juice eyes.

[Marty]

That's exactly what I said, dude. They started the ovens. When I walked in, I'm like, damn, the paranoid juju.

[Sam Morril]

Like, what's with the ovens? You're like, we're a restaurant.

[Marty]

The oven's an ice.

[Sam Morril]

Still freaked out, dude.

[Marty]

You have ice here? What the happened?

[Sam Morril]

What happened? What about. Did you go to, like, the sex clubs or anything?

[Marty]

No, but they kept telling me and offered me like, yo, the second unity. I take all your clothes off. I was like, I think I'm gonna get high at my hotel instead. Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna do. They kept offering me, like, yo, this is the place. My friends all. It's the most popular. It's a. There's a name for it. When I said it, someone's like, you're going to the.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, some sex.

[Marty]

It's a certain club. Yeah, I think I'm good. I don't want to walk in blades, just chopping heads.

[Sam Morril]

Here's the problem. You have to think of not just the sex. You have to think about the second you come. And it all hits because I regret, Jackie. I jack off in my hotel room. I'm like, oh, I'm a piece of. Can you imagine just coming in like a stranger and everyone's there, and you're like, oh, I am.

[Marty]

No, thanks.

[Sam Morril]

I gotta. I gotta take these nipple clamps off and go home. This is crazy. Yeah. No, I have no interest in that.

[Marty]

The second someone else's sweat touched me, I'm gonna fucking throw up and run away.

[Sam Morril]

So you just smoke. So what else. Where else in Europe did you hit?

[Marty]

We went London, Berlin, Amsterdam.

[Sam Morril]

Amsterdam is one of my favorites.

[Marty]

I love Amsterdam.

[Sam Morril]

Amsterdam is cool. Although I had. I couldn't get into the Anne Frank house. That was a problem.

[Marty]

We were going to. But I went, I'm good.

[Sam Morril]

I felt like I had to go just as a Jew. My mom's like, you have to go. And I was like, all right. And then I didn't get in. And because you have to papers. Well, I know that it took the Nazis two years to get in, but for me, I was like, hey, can I. I gave her the ticket. She goes, you booked the walking tour? And I was like, walking? I thought. I was under the impression she was cooped up. I didn't even know there was a walking tour as an addict, but that's a real thing. There's a walking tour. And it was like two miles away. I was like, I don't want to go on the fucking walk. Walking to. I want to see the house. I want to see the history. And they said, well, you got to buy, like, months. And I'm like, I did, but I bought the wrong ticket. So they. They just wouldn't let me in. And it was raining, too. I didn't want to go. So we end up going to the. The Van Gogh Museum. It was cool. It was amazing. But, yeah, no, I. I'm going back to Amsterdam. I hope I get in this time. That'll be my. I. I posted about it. Like, I didn't get in. And all these like powerful Jews were messaging me. I got like. Like Jessica Seinfeld was in my DMs and she was like, let me know. I can do. I'm like, they didn't let me in. You have a direct line to the Anne Frank house. Amy Schumer's messaging me. She's like, this is messed up. I'm like, yeah, man, whatever. All these Jews were like, this is wrong. Like, well, what happened to her was worse, but, you know, by far.

[Marty]

Yeah, she's just trying to stay. You're trying to go in.

[Sam Morril]

Good writer.

[Marty]

Yeah, I like good writer.

[Sam Morril]

Well, they outlawed one of the versions because they. In Florida, they just outlawed one of the versions of Anne Frank's. I guess it was more about her being a. Like a more lesbian. Ish.

[Marty]

Why the was she writing that?

[Sam Morril]

They. The rumors that she was attracted to like one of the girls in the house. That doesn't mean she's a lesbian. That just means it was. There were limited options.

[Marty]

Yeah, it's like being.

[Sam Morril]

If we're trapped in an attic together, I'm gonna think about you at some point. It's prison attic rules.

[Marty]

Prison addict rules. Like, who's smallest?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I'm not gay. I'm just like, I'm bored. I just want to see where my penis could go.

[Marty]

True.

[Sam Morril]

Or especially If I'm like 16, you know?

[Marty]

Wasn't everybody in the house, her family?

[Sam Morril]

No, there was some. There was another family in there too.

[Marty]

She's sitting there like, well, my cousin's got hot.

[Sam Morril]

Her dad really got fucked because he tried.

[Marty]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

No, no. Yeah, yeah, she put on a strap on. She fucked her dad. It was. It's a weird chapter, but it's important to read it all. No, he tried to get. He had a powerful friend in America and tried to get. He tried to vouch him for citizenship and that got declined at the last minute. So they almost made it to America, but it. But they didn't. Crazy.

[Marty]

Could you imagine they did that. Have a tick tock right now?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, she wouldn't have a. She would probably be dead. No, maybe she'd be alive, actually.

[Marty]

She'd probably be dead for sure. A 90 year old woman would take time.

[Sam Morril]

Well, the dad was the only one who lived.

[Marty]

He lived.

[Sam Morril]

He was the only one who made it out of the camp. He's dead now, but he's the only one made it out of the concentration camps. Is this. This is a really depressing episode.

[Marty]

It's great.

[Sam Morril]

You guys, like, usually we smoke weed. I'm like, here's another fact about Anne Frank. Guys, jot these down.

[Marty]

No, it's sad because I know nothing. It's like, I have family that died over there. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Hi. Today I have no idea who you are.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's interesting. It's interesting. Bieber got in trouble. Remember when he went there and in the signing book he wrote, I think she would have been a Belieber.

[Marty]

What?

[Sam Morril]

You shouldn't. You shouldn't do that.

[Marty]

What did he write?

[Sam Morril]

He wrote, I. I think Anne Frank would have been a Belieber on Twitter. No, like, there was like. There's like a sign in book you can write in. And Justin. But he was like a kid when he did it. He's Canadian and he's an entertainer. I get it. Right. I think Anne Frank would have liked my work personally, you know?

[Marty]

Oh, you burned me. That was a good one.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Game recognized game. We're both writers.

[Marty]

I always mix her up. And it's sad. With Helen Keller, I go, that couldn't even read.

[Sam Morril]

How is she writing in my mind, I'm like, her.

[Guest/Producer]

Was she blind and deaf? She wasn't.

[Marty]

She was just Jewish and cheap.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The diary of. The Diary of. Of Helen Keller. Very tough read.

[Marty]

It is, dude. It's like Steve's back tat. Yeah, it's all tough. It's a Michael J. Fox read.

[Guest/Producer]

They gave me this too early in life. Like, sixth grade is too early to understand.

[Sam Morril]

It really is. It's very complex.

[Marty]

It's all blurry.

[Guest/Producer]

I don't remember stories.

[Marty]

Kunta can't get his foot chopped off in fifth grade and it me up. Yeah, dude, like, they're chop his dick off. Choose the foot. That's a up movie.

[Sam Morril]

I'd rather lose my foot than my dick. For sure. Yeah. Yeah, you too. Yeah. You could still. You could still figure it out.

[Marty]

I don't like soccer that much.

[Sam Morril]

You know, like, losing your dick. Losing your dick would suck.

[Marty]

You know what would happen? You turn into a bull and just be buff as. Like, when they cut their balls off. They just get extra buff with testosterone.

[Sam Morril]

You're right. You got to figure out something else.

[Marty]

That's Danny about a dude. That's what happened. That's sick. I'm talking.

[Sam Morril]

Is he still alive?

[Marty]

I have no idea.

[Sam Morril]

I have no idea. He looks like he doesn't have a dick because I think it's like, people, when they go to when they go to rehab, you know, and they. And they just get shredded because you need another thing. Yeah. It's like you just transferred the addiction, but now it's like, you know, you're just. It's a weird 180, though, because. I don't know. Like, I guess either way, you're just like. Like, you're committing.

[Marty]

And he's. Danny, what I do to you. Like, what the. That kind of does suck to go around. Like, yeah, you used to be the little boy, and now you're buffing mad.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But he probably had a good run. He probably got a lot of. He didn't deserve.

[Marty]

Yeah, for sure.

[Sam Morril]

Like, that guy would probably just pull up to, like, hotel bars, and people were like, I used to watch you. And he's like, do you want to.

[Guest/Producer]

Done.

[Marty]

That's how funny it would be. Like, that's all it took, you know?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Whoa. I wonder what it's like to be a physical specimen. What's up, bitch? Give me your number or let's go to my room.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Marty]

It seems boring.

[Sam Morril]

Does it?

[Marty]

There's no challenges after a while.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, there is. You know? I know you mean it's like you're playing a video game on Easy, and you're like, it's boring. Like, it is kind of fun that it's hard to get laid where you're just like, oh, I got to fucking, like, really earn it.

[Guest/Producer]

It's got to be the worst one that wears off, though. And then you can't do that anymore. You go back to being just regular guy.

[Marty]

Ric Flair.

[Sam Morril]

What happened with him?

[Marty]

He used to be the man, dude.

[Sam Morril]

You know, I know. I got. I got drunk with Ric Flair once because we did Burt Kreischer's Something's Burning show together, and I was hammered. I. So I have. I fucking. I was going to bring guys a bottle of my whiskey. I have my own whiskey called Bodega Cat.

[Marty]

Oh, you saw.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Got it. But we were drinking them. I'm making Boulevardiers, which is like. It's like a Negroni, but it's whiskey instead of.

[Marty]

Thank you. I was like, what's in the groan? I was about to ask.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's really good. But, yeah, so it's just. It's Campari sweet, vermouth and whiskey in equal parts. It's fucking delicious. It tastes like. Like fruit punch or something. You're just getting fucking hammered on it, so you don't realize how. And Burt can drink, man. He can really drink. So we're getting Hammered. And Ric Flair is, he's fun. He's. We're having fun with him. He's like, he's a character. He's a fucking legend.

[Marty]

Ric Flair, he's the man.

[Sam Morril]

And, and it's going so well, but at one point we're all really fucked up. And Bert just goes, do you have any regrets? I'm like, to Rick, I'm like, yes. He's a fucking like near 80 year old professional wrestler. He must have regrets. And then he goes into a whole thing about his son. That's what say his son, his son died. And it was. And it's brutal.

[Marty]

And he said right after he was.

[Sam Morril]

Here and he was, he was crying and it was like really heavy. And I was like, you know, you ever so fucked up. Do you have to like, tell your brain, like, don't laugh?

[Marty]

Yeah, all the time.

[Sam Morril]

I think it's funny. But you're like, just, you're on camera. Be respectful. This guy in this moment. So if you watch that clip, it's just me going like very robotically, like, like I pat him on the back in the least compassion. I'm just like, drunken idiot.

[Guest/Producer]

Like, I think this is what I do.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, no, we. And then I ended up puking for like hours after that podcast.

[Marty]

No, wait, you drink a lot, right? I mean, you, you, you're, you're a drinker.

[Sam Morril]

I, I don't drink a lot. I drink like, actually, I'll have like a couple and I'll be. There's some nights you go a little hard. But, but, but that night I was fucking hammered. I remember Burt sent me a car and the guy who dropped me off picked up a very different person right after that. I got in the car, like on the way there. We were chatting, we were having fun, we're being silly. And then he picked me up and I just like fell in like. And he was just like, what the fuck happened? And yeah, I was, Bert and I were so fucked up that I remember we left the comedian, Jim Norton, a voicemail and I just, I didn't know we did that. And I just saw him like a week later. He's like, dude, that was such a nice voicemail. You and Bert, it was all positive. Yeah, that's why I don't quit. I'm a nice drunk. I'm like, if I, if I like you, I like you. So I don't drink with people I don't like. So if I'm drunk, I'm just like, you're the fudgeing best. So I seen Norton, I was like, I left you a voicemail. He's like, yeah. And he played it and it was just me and. Me and Burpee and like, you're the fucking best man. We fucking love you. And he was like, I mean, I could tell you were fucking wasted, but it was a nice message to get.

[Marty]

Those are only people you drink around. I rarely drink. Yeah, well, I drink around people that are nice.

[Sam Morril]

I don't get mean, nasty drunks, you see. And at a certain age, they either have to quit or they have no friends cuz no one wants to drink with them. Cuz I know a couple of those guys and I've been around those guys and one of them was at my friend's wedding and he cornered me and he's like a dark cloud of like, this person changed this. I'm like, well, you didn't change. That's the problem. You got to become a decent dude to drink with. You're a dark cloud. No one likes that dude. I'm 38.

[Marty]

Oh yeah. This is the age right here. I'm starting to see it too. All my friends are like 35 to 40.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

So.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's like pick up basketball. You got to stop at a certain point or you're going to get hurt, you know?

[Marty]

Yeah, yeah. Or you just play in the pool, you know, easy on the knees and Dude.

[Sam Morril]

But you know, it is like those dudes who get really hammered. Like, I. I still think it's hilarious, but I've definitely watched a lot of my friends drop. Like a lot of comics are recovering addicts because we're all, you know, intense personalities and stuff. And you work at a bar. So if you work at a bar, you kind of have to quit or you got to manage it.

[Guest/Producer]

Get free drinks all night, dude, it's.

[Sam Morril]

It's great. But it's also, you know, it's a problem if you don't work at it.

[Marty]

No, it could become a quick problem too. It's very. I was with some. A comedian like a year, about half a year ago. And I'm like, this is what you do at night? Yeah, yeah, yeah, just have a drink. I did my set. That was. It was the improv.

[Sam Morril]

He had a hard 15 minutes day's work.

[Marty]

That's what he said.

[Sam Morril]

I deserve eight drinks for this.

[Marty]

He's like, dude, we're giving me drinks and stuff. I'm having fun. He's like, this is how you die fast. I went, oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It is cool though.

[Marty]

Yeah, it is cool though.

[Sam Morril]

It is Fun. I mean, we definitely. No, I know those guys who like, they'll, you know, they'll go hard, but at a certain point you gotta, you gotta reel it in a little.

[Guest/Producer]

And you never had like a weed or psychedelic stretch in your life.

[Sam Morril]

I don't like drugs that enhance my thoughts. I like to shut everything down. I like to take my feelings and just keep pushing them until they're nowhere to be found. And, and because you know, I'm in my head enough, I don't want to, I don't want to hear more from me. I like to, I like to drink stuff to go shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up and be enjoyable for a sec. I like, I like alcohol. I don't like, I don't like weed. Weed. I freak out. I hear like voices in my head that are very negative.

[Marty]

Are they vaccines?

[Sam Morril]

They have accents. Yeah.

[Marty]

Could you imagine?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Nigerian in your head. Oh man. Trying to scam you.

[Sam Morril]

Sick, dude. I lost all this money to a prince because of this voice in my head. No, I, Yeah, I just, I like like social drugs. I don't like to drug my. I mean it's really just caffeine and booze for me and I'll do a pill here and there, but nothing crazy. You know when you were younger. When I was younger, I smoked a lot of weed.

[Marty]

Oh, you did a lot.

[Sam Morril]

Like a non stop. But at a certain point it just turned and I would have really bad highs and I would be full of self doubt and I would not feel good about myself. And I like, I like drugs where I'm just like, now you're doing all right. Yeah, you're fine. I don't like drugs. Who are like. You think you should be a professional comedian, you piece of. You should quit. You're a fraud. You like, that's what weed would do to me. I'd be like, you suck. You're not funny. And it would just be like a, a pessimistic friend. But then I drink and I'd be like, dude, you're, you're a good time.

[Marty]

Yeah, I can get one drink. Like.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

If I can get confidence shoes on.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Yeah, all right, I get it. I just love weed so much.

[Guest/Producer]

What were you smoking joints all day doing bong rips? What was it?

[Sam Morril]

A little bit of everything. You know, I was super young when I was doing that was like high school smoking and stuff. And I loved, Yeah, I love just like, you know, I just get the classic pothead, get high with my friends and play like NBA 2K or something, you know, and life, Life in New York City. This was New York City. Yeah. And yeah, we got fucking high. I mean, it was, it was great. But at a certain point I would. I remember, I think I watched like Killing Him Softly, the Chappelle Special. And I was like, you think you should be a comedian, you loser. This guy's a comedian. You're not this guy. But then like, there's a lot of comedians, there's a lot of different types of comedy. But yeah, we're just filled with self hatred and I have enough self doubt already that I don't, I don't need, like I need to amplify it, you know, I'm not sure.

[Marty]

Wow. It's funny to hear somebody else talk like that because sometimes I'm like, why am I doubting? And then I go, fuck that guy in my head, you fucking bitch ass good, dude. I don't do it.

[Sam Morril]

I don't do it. I think a little bit of self doubt and a little bit like a hint of self loathing is actually good for you. Because when you see people walking around feeling too good about themselves, you're like, you need a fucking voice to reel it in a little bit. You need. But don't be too good. But. Yeah, but too much self doubt is, is crippling and it'll, it'll shut you down from doing anything. And I think that's why, you know, I don't want to get too fucking analytical here, but I think that's why sometimes potheads, for some people, it works. I know a lot of functioning potheads, but I also know some that, who are just burnout and they don't do fudgeing anything. Yeah. And they're lazy. So I think it's also just like, yeah, what's the point? Which I think is really dangerous if you want to do stuff. And I need to write new jokes, I need to have a new act on the, on the road. I want to, there's stuff I want to do. So I, I mean, I'm fucking coffee and booze is kind of like, like bring me up and then, all right, I'm fudgeing tired. Let's bring it back down. You know, let's shut that, let's shut off the voices. Now that makes sense.

[Marty]

Yeah, it's different. You have a different life though. You're on the road, you're doing things. You can't be smoking weed. Like I was in Miami this week, weekend. I smoked twice after the sets. I didn't smoke all day because I knew it was gonna do to me.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's like your reward.

[Marty]

No, not that.

[Sam Morril]

I just didn't want to get. I.

[Marty]

In Arizona, I smoked in between sets.

[Sam Morril]

And I went up there and went, oh, that's crazy.

[Guest/Producer]

Well, you gotta let him know he's going on the road for the first time as a feature. So he just did the Tempe.

[Marty]

Yes. I'm trying to get my down. So I went up there in between sets and I saw, smoked and went, Drank some water, looked at my notes, went, oh, no, never again.

[Sam Morril]

Does that work for you, that you're. Yeah, yeah. You're high on stage.

[Marty]

I'm always up. I'm just saying you got to work.

[Sam Morril]

On that at some point. You can't just rely on a drug to do your job right.

[Marty]

No, I'm saying I'm always getting high all the time.

[Sam Morril]

No, but I mean. But for your show.

[Marty]

No, I'm saying I don't like to smoke before the show.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Marty]

Okay. I realized, like, wow, I forgot a part. I'll never let that happen again. This. So I just smoke after.

[Sam Morril]

All it takes is making yourself like, I've never been. I've been too drunk on stage before and I don't really. I'll have like, maybe one. I don't really drink on stage anymore. But you watch yourself. And you're like, I was good. And they're like my friends. Like, did you watch it? And I'm like, let me watch it. I could, I could have had a couple less drinks usually. That wasn't great, you know.

[Marty]

Yeah, I just don't want to go up there like, oh, it's the guy that gets high. Of course he fucking forgot. That's what I don't want.

[Sam Morril]

Like, oh, yeah. And it just doesn't end well if you're. If you're relying on anything other than just you, you got to be the thing.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah. No, I don't mean like I get high to go up. No, no, I want to be clear headed and remember.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

Like how a lot of music people need the weed to go in and make the music.

[Marty]

I've never. This never worked for me.

[Sam Morril]

It doesn't make heroin. Some of them. Yeah, you guys are on some real Guns n Roses, those guys. Any of those bands are going hard.

[Marty]

As soon as they stop, they're like, yo, my music's gonna take a dive too. Aerosmith, they're like, no more drugs. Our music sucks.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but his drug was like 16 year olds, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, it was he was like, this was making the music right here. What do I do? I think, I think, yeah, you just gotta. You think it's gonna drop off, but is it? I mean, I think a lot of that's psychological. A lot of that. You think you're the drug is doing the heavy lifting, but maybe you have other blocks, you know, and. And it's not the drug, it's you. So you. If you created that, you can create it again. I think. Yeah.

[Marty]

I've never been able to be like, I've heard people. I smoke and I get creative. Like the.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, for me, I smoke and then I'll read what I wrote. I'm like, this is stupid four year old crayons. I'm writing about crayons. What am I, dumb?

[Marty]

What the. I literally just said that the other day. I was like, I'm thinking about some crayons. I'm like, who am I? Yeah, I threw it away, but it was funny to me. Yeah, but I thought about how old am I? Color crayons. Yeah, that's funny. You said, that's exactly how I feel.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I. I think of like the dumb. I think of the most, like childlike, like Lunchables. I'll think of like the dumbest them like that. Why am I talking. I'm an adult. Why am I talking about that?

[Marty]

This, these lunchables are fun as they are good. They're so fun. Anything that you can keep from childhood, like we said, when did you become an adult? Is the worst question to be asked. Oh, that's like the end of Big or. What was the movie? Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Mr. D. Mr. D's. How did I get that?

[Marty]

Remember at the end I wanted to be a vet. What do you do? I own a chain of slaughterhouses.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

So like, when did you become that? I don't ever want to be asked.

[Sam Morril]

That's a good movie. I. I remember we. We were at summer camp, we were kids and we got one movie pretty per summer and.

[Marty]

Oh, what the.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, and everyone wanted. I remember everyone wanted to see U571, the subway. I didn't see it, but I remember being like, no, it's a Adam Sandler movie. We got to see it. And everyone was like, no, we're seeing U571. So I had to like. I went over to the head counselor and I was like, hey, can you just lie to everyone and say that you saw Mr. Deeds and it's the best movie you've ever seen? And he was like, all right. And he did. And everyone's like, oh, shoot, I guess we got to see Mr. Deeds. So we, we saw it and everyone was like, this movie's incredible. It worked out. And then I was like, I lied to all. You know, you didn't see it, but.

[Marty]

And what kids say, you. 571. What kind of camp were you?

[Sam Morril]

It was a submarine camp.

[Marty]

No, it wasn't. Oh, they knew it wasn't, dude.

[Sam Morril]

No. I don't know. They were like very mature kids, I guess.

[Marty]

Bunch of weak ass kids.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you know, we. But I, I, I told this story to Sandler once. I was like, I, I, I made everyone see Mr. D's, and he was like, oh, no, he's.

[Marty]

Sorry, he's talking. He's just doing his thing. You say you told him about the mister?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, I said we, we went to see Mr. D's. Was like, those kids need a D. For sure. He's the coolest.

[Marty]

That's my, it's my guy. I, I cannot get enough of it. It's pretty sad how much I watch his movies. It gets sad.

[Sam Morril]

It's like a, it's like a comfort thing.

[Marty]

It is, though.

[Sam Morril]

It's our childhood, so it's like, even those albums were like, they were good. Oh, man, they're like.

[Marty]

The goat was my favorite as a kid.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I love the goat. It's like a, it's like a comfort thing because it's our childhood.

[Marty]

And I see a lot of people talking like it's because you have on something traumas. I'm like, shut the. I just like Adam Sandler. But I will watch him constantly.

[Sam Morril]

No, but I think life is hard and you need stuff that just, you know, makes you feel good. I like that it makes you feel. Yeah.

[Marty]

Like the other day, it was Saturday morning. I'm like, there's cartoons on.

[Sam Morril]

What's your cartoon?

[Marty]

What was a. Oh, the one that was on at that point was spongebob episode one.

[Sam Morril]

I never, I've never seen a spongebob. What is it great? I've heard it's amazing.

[Marty]

Oh, it's incredible.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

I think I was afraid it came out for me.

[Sam Morril]

Me. Oh, yeah. So you're like, a little younger than me, so.

[Marty]

Yeah, two years older.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. So, yeah, I think, I just, I think for me it was like Rugrats. It was great. I loved it.

[Marty]

God, dude. And then did you hear like the, the conspiracy behind Rugrats or.

[Sam Morril]

No, no. Are you gonna ruin it for me? What's gonna happen?

[Marty]

It will Ruin it. So I don't know if I want to do it to you, but the.

[Sam Morril]

The thing is, Tommy Pickles got raped. No, I'm just kidding.

[Marty]

No, it's Angelica.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Such a.

[Marty]

He's such a. I hate Angelica.

[Sam Morril]

I hate.

[Marty]

I love her doll.

[Sam Morril]

You know, she grew up to be a too.

[Marty]

Yeah, she did.

[Sam Morril]

She was giving out hand jobs in the alley. Drugs for sure.

[Marty]

She's on only fans right now.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, she is. She's showing that beef, dude.

[Marty]

Yes, she is.

[Sam Morril]

She's got a lot of subscribers. But it's not filling the. It's not filling the void.

[Marty]

Tommy's filming it. This is what's happening. No, but the thing is, Angelica's insane.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

And she's making up all the kids because.

[Sam Morril]

No way.

[Marty]

That's the thing. Because she keeps saying, oh, no. She's making up two of the kids because she's saying that she's crazy. Like, they're getting out, they're escaping, and nobody believes her. And then she's going nuts saying that that happened. And then that Tommy. That Chucky's dad, the mom and Chucky died. That's why he's always so sad. And then Tommy Pickles, dad, Tommy actually died. So he keeps making toys because he doesn't have any kids left.

[Sam Morril]

Who the comes up with it?

[Marty]

Thank you. What the.

[Sam Morril]

Who has time to come up with that one, bro?

[Marty]

What the. And they broke it down like you broke it down in video form.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. Ruined my life. I've seen those. You ever see those Saved by the Bell ones where. No, it's called Zack Morris is trash.

[Marty]

Why?

[Sam Morril]

That's pretty him. You think you love him, but then you watch. He's a little. He's a bad person. Every episode you're like.

[Marty]

You're like, he his friends over a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He's horrible.

[Marty]

Screech is the best. Let's just say that on that show, he's the best. He's annoying, but he never does no wrong.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but he's kind of annoying.

[Marty]

He's just annoying. That's all.

[Guest/Producer]

That is kind of like a cousin.

[Marty]

You can't get rid of. But it's like, at least he comes through. And in clutch.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, there's a whole episode. You know, he's in love with Lisa. And then Zach just starts, like, making out with her. And you're like, oh, that's right on. I think Zach was banging that whole cast. I think that actor was just. Was hidden. And he was like. He's like, you know, I'm Banging Lisa now. Can we get like, an Elisa episode? Like. Yeah, we got you for sure.

[Marty]

Zack Morris is making it. I hope to go.

[Guest/Producer]

I hope so.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Mar. We had him on here once. One day when we get.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, you had him on here.

[Marty]

Yeah, we get more friendly.

[Sam Morril]

Is he a cool dude?

[Marty]

He's a man.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

The man.

[Guest/Producer]

Oh, yeah. Shout out to your show you got coming.

[Marty]

Yeah, I'll be on the Mar Lopez show next month. Let's go.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's gonna be fun. I did a show once. He's like a radio show or something?

[Marty]

No, he does a comedy show at the Laugh.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, really?

[Marty]

Just does like, he gets like five people together and does like a hosting thing. I don't know. I've seen it.

[Sam Morril]

Slater, dude. You know that guy was slain Poon.

[Marty]

Back in the day.

[Sam Morril]

And I asked A.C. slater. Come on. This. Yeah, Those dimples, shoulders.

[Marty]

That's all it took, dude. And the bullet.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude.

[Marty]

And he's a real fool. Oh, wow. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, but Mario Lopez will beat all of us up.

[Sam Morril]

I had no doubt.

[Marty]

No, I just didn't know that.

[Sam Morril]

There was no way I thought I could up Mario Lopez.

[Marty]

You never know.

[Sam Morril]

I would never pop to Mario Lopez Screech. On the other hand, I would have. I would have knocked his ass on the floor, dude, I know he's dead, but if he wasn't, I would kill him.

[Marty]

Dustin Diamond. You're lucky.

[Sam Morril]

You're lucky. You're dead, dude.

[Marty]

Lucky, dude.

[Sam Morril]

No. Mario Lopez could wipe the floor for sure.

[Marty]

Yeah, but I always thought that. And I asked him, like, how did you have kids at 41?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, did he? Well, what's wrong with that? He's a man.

[Marty]

He's a Mexican.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, he waited. That's your point.

[Marty]

That's what I'm saying. Like, how did you. Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Discipline.

[Marty]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Because that guy was, you know, he. I think he was banging so much that he was like, I gotta wrap it up.

[Marty]

Or he's like, you're saying his first kids.

[Guest/Producer]

He had his first kids at 40.

[Marty]

First kids at first, yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

That's crazy. If you're Mario Lopez to avoid kids.

[Sam Morril]

Do you guys have kids?

[Marty]

No, I have no kids, though.

[Sam Morril]

Do you have kids?

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah, I got three of them this full year.

[Sam Morril]

Do you think you have kids?

[Marty]

I don't know. I. I'm almost like shooting in 3 for Kids. And I hope someone swats it. So I'm like, I. I did try, but.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but if they swatted over there, that's gold. Tending you're having kids or have double.

[Marty]

Just twins. Twins running. My family.

[Sam Morril]

Twins is rough. My sister had twins and it was kind of like, wow, this is. And they're evil too, dude.

[Marty]

Dicks.

[Sam Morril]

Or. They're great kids. Was just joke.

[Guest/Producer]

You never know, you might get an evil kid.

[Marty]

No, no, no. My evil kid will be. I'll taxidermy that fool and put him right on the shelf. And he'll hold stuff next to the Gremlin. Yes, right next to.

[Sam Morril]

Holy. That would be crazy. If you just had like an aborted fetus on this wall.

[Marty]

It would be crazy. Look at that, right? No, it's Tony Hawk. This is Tony Hawk. That's my little Mexican guy. Child.

[Sam Morril]

Did you have. Did he have Tony Hawk up here?

[Marty]

Yeah, we had Tony Hawk.

[Sam Morril]

Was he cool? She seems cool.

[Marty]

Cool as we. That's when we decided, like, we shouldn't really smoke around people that don't smoke. Because he was wrecked after.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah, he was.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, wow.

[Marty]

Oh, he was.

[Sam Morril]

And he didn't say anything.

[Guest/Producer]

He was comically high.

[Sam Morril]

I'm glad I came on here after you figured that. Little experiment. Yeah. I don't want to get.

[Marty]

No, we always ask for you high right now.

[Sam Morril]

No, not really. Not really? No. But you've smoked.

[Guest/Producer]

I had a little.

[Sam Morril]

Little. I can tell he smoked, though. You didn't smoke?

[Marty]

No, I didn't smoke at all.

[Sam Morril]

I can tell.

[Marty]

I just landed this point.

[Guest/Producer]

I think that's just my personality.

[Marty]

Marty's always high. Yeah, he's chill, but Marty's like, you know those coffee drinkers? They get done, but coffee is weed.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah. I run marathons and I'm up at.

[Sam Morril]

5Am like, you run marathons? That's crazy.

[Guest/Producer]

Like, I'm not. Like, I'm not on some stoner. Like, I'm highly dedicated. Like, seven days.

[Sam Morril]

That's what I'm talking about. There are potheads who are incredibly.

[Marty]

I run five businesses, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, you run marathons? I'm like, I don't believe that right there. He's the marathon runner. I don't believe you either.

[Marty]

I crab walk marathons.

[Sam Morril]

You crab walk?

[Marty]

I crab walk the. The New York marathon.

[Sam Morril]

I've never come close to. My brother runs marathons. So does my sister. I'm the upper dude.

[Guest/Producer]

You gotta lock in for one.

[Sam Morril]

I don't.

[Marty]

I can't run. I want to, but I don't want it.

[Sam Morril]

I don't run. Running sucks.

[Guest/Producer]

It does. It's the worst.

[Marty]

What about jogging with your arms high so you feel like you're running? That's what I used to do in football.

[Sam Morril]

Were you alignment? Yeah.

[Marty]

You put your shoulders high and it looks like you're running. I swear to God.

[Sam Morril]

You're just trying to trick your coach all the time.

[Marty]

The whole line would be in the back and we'd all cover each other like. Like antelope with lions. And like, y' all just first drink it in the middle.

[Sam Morril]

Well, runners, they always talk about this high. And I get it. You do get a high. Afterwards you feel great, but it's like you can get high from other. You get a high. You know, there's other ways to get high. And also, you know, you can do like, I gotta play basketball. And that's fun.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You're not. You're not thinking about the exact exercise. You're just enjoying yourself.

[Marty]

I like playing it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

It's fun. But I also don't want. I don't speak Spanish. Like, dog, say pass. Don't say it in Spanish.

[Sam Morril]

I feel like. I feel like I gotta get into soccer. It just. I wasn't. I didn't grow up with it. Like, it wasn't part of my. Like, I grew up. Baseball, basketball, football, hockey, that's what I'd watch, you know, Cuz it's like those were like the sports. America.

[Marty]

You're American. You're American.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

Soccer didn't get popular to like my kids, generations. Now it's like the biggest sport for them.

[Marty]

We're. We're so globally, it's the biggest sport by. We're full of ourselves.

[Sam Morril]

We think, we think like, you know, we're like LeBron, you know? Then you see what like Messi and Ronaldo make, and you're like, dude, that's a bigger sport, dude.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah, for sure.

[Marty]

We always say we're very conceded here. And like, no, we're the best. And actually nobody else plays football in the world but us.

[Sam Morril]

But basketball is blowing up. Yeah, but then there's sports also. You go to like, Australia, they're like, this guy's a legendary rugby player. And you're like, all right, slow down, let's. I don't know.

[Marty]

Have you ever watched it? Yeah, I'd rather play football all day.

[Sam Morril]

Or. What's the cricket? Cricket. That's another dumb. It's.

[Marty]

That's just floor baseball, bro. That's like, throw it real good, but only to the floor.

[Guest/Producer]

It is weird.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It's like the ball is going to the dirt.

[Marty]

It's like, like no one's got aim. But I can hit the ground at least.

[Sam Morril]

I still love baseball, though. I Still think baseball is cool? I love that. Basketball is my favorite.

[Marty]

You're looking at the number one shooter in all of New York State.

[Sam Morril]

Are you really D2? This guy's a flamethrower. I can tell. Technically speaking, I like to say that.

[Guest/Producer]

One for one from behind the line. D2, NCAA.

[Sam Morril]

So you were 100, dude. Damn, dude.

[Marty]

It's the best accolade to have.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[Marty]

It's the best accolade to have. I'm like, I'm the oldest Mexican without a child.

[Sam Morril]

I play in a comedy basketball game on Sundays. And the New York Times just did a piece on us, and they described my post moves as agile.

[Marty]

Oh.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like, yeah, dude.

[Marty]

Gender fluid.

[Sam Morril]

You play the way you grew up. So I play like a 90s guy. Like, I'm not tall enough to be able. Like, I back people down. And I play a really boring style. Like I'm doing bank shots and.

[Marty]

Yeah, why not?

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, it's efficient, fundamental.

[Marty]

Yeah, I thought that's how you play.

[Guest/Producer]

That's how you're supposed to play.

[Sam Morril]

Well, no, all the kids now are trying to be Curry, cuz. Steph Curry.

[Marty]

Oh, no, thanks.

[Sam Morril]

It ruins the pickup games. You're playing with some kid who's just pulling up from like 40 and you're like, that's a bad shot. Yeah, that's a good shot for Steph Curry. That's not a good shot for this.

[Marty]

I just put my shoulder down like this and go, Yeah, I always get it.

[Sam Morril]

That's like Ewing right there.

[Marty]

They can't stop this giant small guy.

[Sam Morril]

Bump him, dude.

[Marty]

Oh, you can't do it. You can't do nothing around me.

[Guest/Producer]

Are you into football?

[Sam Morril]

I like watching football, yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

I'm hoping you can solve a debate.

[Marty]

There it is. He's gonna talk. Marty's from Buffalo, New York.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah. So I love Buffalo fans, dude. I think the Buffalo Bills fans are, like, out of their mind. I want Josh Allen to get a Super Bowl. I think he's cool as also, his wife is that woman Haley Stanfield.

[Marty]

She's so hot.

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy.

[Guest/Producer]

She's like an actress.

[Sam Morril]

She's in the movie Sinners. Here's.

[Marty]

Wait, the blond is his wife?

[Sam Morril]

She's hot.

[Marty]

He's crushing you, dude.

[Sam Morril]

But then also, she's the little girl in the movie True Grit. And I remember seeing that movie being like, oh, she's a great child actress, but she's like a weird looking kid, I thought. And then she grows up and becomes that and you're like, holy.

[Marty]

Am I a pedophile? No.

[Sam Morril]

I think it's probably good that I didn't think she was an attractive child. I think I'm the opposite of a pedophile, if anything.

[Marty]

No, they say, yeah, but I'm just.

[Sam Morril]

Saying if I was a scout, I wouldn't have been like, first round draft pick.

[Marty]

I was a scout.

[Sam Morril]

I'd say, that's a late. That's a late pick.

[Marty]

A registered scout.

[Sam Morril]

But. But no. Yeah. So I like that the Buffalo Bills fans are, like, jumping through tables, and I like that they're out of their mind. My podcast producer is, like, always wearing his Josh Allen jersey, and I have a weird love for, like, Buffalo people. I also love the restaurants in Buffalo. Mothers. Chefs shout out.

[Marty]

Marty loves so much right now.

[Sam Morril]

I have a lot of love because it's in. Here's the thing. Buffalo is in that triangle of sadness area of Rochester, Syracuse, and Buffalo. And we all know Buffalo is the one. You're like, thank God I'm in Buffalo.

[Marty]

Now.

[Sam Morril]

Rochester is kind of cool too, but Syracuse is legitimately like the suicide capital of the Northeast. I mean, you know, Pacific Northwest, we have Seattle. But Syracuse is like all these great writers, you know, from that area. Like, you know, like Raymond Carver, I think taught there, and you know, Jay McInerney, all these great writers. But then. Then you look at the. Like everyone's jumping off the bridge there.

[Marty]

You know, you didn't give me that information, Marty.

[Sam Morril]

You just said, you know, but seriously, like, it's okay because we have a dinosaur barbecue. And you're like, that's not keeping people alive, dude. It's not keep you. But Buffalo is cool. I like it. You know, I've been to all these cities a million times. You develop a fondness for the people and for the. For the food and for the. For the hang. And yeah, I always look forward to going to Buffalo.

[Guest/Producer]

Now answer me this.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

Buffalo is the only team that actually plays in New York State. Okay? We are in New York for football. For football.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. Because. Because the. The jets and the Giants are in Jersey now.

[Marty]

We're weird.

[Guest/Producer]

We're red, white, and blue. We're America's underdogs. The most blue collar cities.

[Marty]

Okay, go.

[Guest/Producer]

Are we not America?

[Sam Morril]

The Giants are also red, white, and blue.

[Marty]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Marty]

But I argued.

[Guest/Producer]

They're in New Jersey. But I'm just saying, when you think about America's team. Because there's a new documentary called America's Team.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

I didn't even know there was a documentary. We were having this argument about this.

[Sam Morril]

I love how cocky Dallas is. Are like, we have a Netflix documentary. I'm like, cool. You haven't been good for 30 years.

[Marty]

But they're white, blonde, texted.

[Sam Morril]

How about country? How about Jerry Jones? Blowing it with Micah Parsons that you like. You have this amazing player who seems cool as, and you just. You don't show him any love or respect. Like, that guy's out of touch. He's really just blowing it. But I know you're gunning for here with America's team. I don't know. I think. Yes. I think I will say this. I love. I love starved fans who are just suffering. I do. I have a love for. Because, like, you know, I feel the same way about a lot of, like, Cleveland sports. They'll say, the Browns just. Yeah. Like, you know, I mean. But you know what? They brought the bad juju on them by bringing in Deshaun Watson. You can't bring in a guy who's.

[Marty]

The guy that was jerking it.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's beyond jerking it. You can't force a masseuse to jerk you off when she's.

[Marty]

That what he did?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah. Like 25 times. It was like, oh, I thought he.

[Marty]

Just got caught going to masseuse thing and then went, leave him alone.

[Sam Morril]

No, no, no.

[Marty]

He was forcing it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the problem.

[Marty]

You know what I would do? I'm like, you know, I'll step out.

[Sam Morril]

Of the room, you know, trouble. You know how bad. What you have to do is to get in trouble in the NFL.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah. You can kill people. Ray Lewis.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

And come back still for real.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, he's. Yeah, he's a. And then you get rid of Baker Mayfield. Who's the man? Like, what the hell? That guy's awesome. He's awesome. No, I. I have a lot of love for the Bills. That's. I. America's team. I don't know. That's ridiculous. All that stuff. I think, like, you know, people say the Pats people. It's your whatever. Your team is America's. I feel the Giants are America's team because they took down the Patriots twice. That was badass.

[Marty]

I called that game.

[Sam Morril]

That was awesome. That was both. Those games were just, like, the greatest. I love. I love those teams so much. I loved Michael Strahan. I loved. I loved Eli Plaxico and the Forest.

[Marty]

Gump of the NFL.

[Sam Morril]

He really is. How does he do it?

[Marty]

He's like, he's so good. But don't talk to him. You know, that's it. And Eli Manning is also Forrest Gump, but he has a brain, I think.

[Sam Morril]

No, Eli's. He's a badass. Funny as shit, actually. They're amazing. I love those guys. I. Peyton's incredible, too. I mean, they. The Giants, that team had a. I'm good for life with that. Like, I don't care if they ever win again. Just be competitive place.

[Marty]

Go burst. Shoot himself in the leg.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude.

[Marty]

And that's when he was out, right?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. That kind of ruined his career. But, dude, that catch in the Super Bowl. Holy plaques is like badass. Plaques and Amani Tumor were like my.

[Marty]

Whoa. I haven't heard that name in a minute.

[Sam Morril]

Those are my guys. I love that team. Yeah. Hopefully the Giants are good again. We got it. We got a good defense now, so we'll see.

[Marty]

But where's the hat make the Giants good again?

[Sam Morril]

The Bills. The Bills are fun. I dig the Bills. And I. I love Josh Allen. I think he's awesome. I think he's an awesome player. And I mean, sports are great because you believe. I mean, I'm. I'm like the biggest Knicks fan you'll ever meet. That's like. I'm obsessive. I'm. I'm a psycho. I love it. I go to. I went to like every playoff game, but maybe two, because I was on the road for them. But, I mean, do the Knicks or my. I'm obsessed.

[Guest/Producer]

Did I read that Nate Robinson got his transplant that he needed?

[Sam Morril]

Did he?

[Guest/Producer]

I'm pretty sure.

[Sam Morril]

I think he did or we would have heard that he died.

[Guest/Producer]

We talked about that a long time ago on the show.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah. But that's awesome, man.

[Guest/Producer]

Jesus Christ.

[Marty]

He's the fool that fought Jake Paul, right? Basketball player.

[Sam Morril]

He, like, started it all. Cuz you know what? I think people underestimated them at first. They didn't know they could really fight. And, you know, it's like we're talking about guys who can play different sports, but just because you're a good basketball player doesn't mean you could beat a guy who trains for this.

[Marty]

Where's Bo Jackson? Dude, right? Come out of retirement.

[Guest/Producer]

The. Out of Jake.

[Marty]

Where's Barry Bonds?

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Marty]

I want to see the. I want Mark McGuire and Barry Bonds to celebrity death match. I want to see this happen.

[Sam Morril]

Barry Bonds was the man, dude. I. Baseball in the 90s, where it was just bombs all the time.

[Marty]

That was one game. One Barry Bonds game.

[Sam Morril]

The.

[Marty]

At a kid.

[Sam Morril]

Really? I never saw him live Knock that into the.

[Marty]

Into the water with that guy with the boat. Try to catch it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, people in kayaks chasing a boat. That was great.

[Marty]

I was at a sixth grade trip. I remember.

[Sam Morril]

It's a great ballpark too.

[Marty]

It's so sick. I remember I was such a poor kid. I was like, I have enough for garlic fries. And I got him like, oh, it's just garlic. And then I didn't eat them. That's all right. That's what I remember about that day.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Marty]

That's all I remember. They gave free berry.

[Sam Morril]

This is a story you're telling your kids?

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You saw Barry Bonds. Hold on a second. Listen, about these fries. So one, they were barely seasoned.

[Marty]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

They were barely. No, bonds was. It's 73 in a year. Incredible. The juice. The 90s were great, man. The 90s were. Because you'd see like a skinny player just show up the next year. Like, I remember Brett Boone, he was like a twig. And then he just showed up the next year like this and hit 40 homers. And you're like, yeah, dude, you're clearly cheating. But who cares?

[Marty]

It's great.

[Sam Morril]

Remember the comedian Greg Giraldo? He had that great joke about it, about how like everyone's like, they're cheating. He's like. He's like, yeah. I mean, it's fun. I mean, no one's taking gold records away from Whitney Houston. Crack is a performance enhancing drug. It's a great. That's a great angle.

[Marty]

That is very true. I just. For baseball, it's non contact. Give me all the steroids you can. Yeah, I want to see Mark McGuire again. I want to see a hub of.

[Guest/Producer]

Muscle and let them fight too, if.

[Sam Morril]

They want to rush the model like hockey. Yeah. Hit the ground. Remember when Nolan Ryan, Robin mentor, just rushed the he on an old ass Nolan Ryan. He just puts him in the headlocks. He's like, yep, that would suck. Ass kick by old ass. Nolan Ryan's career is insane.

[Marty]

He played until he was like 50, right?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And he was still pretty good. Never again, dude.

[Marty]

Baseball, man. Get into baseball, don't play football and turn into these dummies.

[Sam Morril]

Baseball's got problems too, though. You see those guys get like, you could catch a and you get hit by a. Cuz they're throwing like 104 now. I think getting hit, I got hit once in the elbow and like as a kid I didn't feel this whole nerve for like two weeks. I can't imagine getting hit and just being like, cool and walking to the base. I think if I got hit, I'd just be like, are you kidding me?

[Guest/Producer]

Quit chopping me out of here. Call ambulance.

[Marty]

Yeah, that. Workers comp. Workers comp. I'm out. I don't play anymore.

[Sam Morril]

It's. It's the worst. It's crazy.

[Marty]

I hit right here my first pitch ever at bat, and that was it.

[Sam Morril]

It hurts, dude.

[Marty]

Hurts so bad.

[Sam Morril]

I don't like. Yeah, I don't like that part. And you see these guys, it's like a part of the game. But what's his name? Jason Hayward. He got hit in the face, remember? That's why I had to wear the.

[Marty]

Oh, that guard.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. If I. Oh, my God. If I. If I played pro baseball, I would have, like, the long helmet. I would have the elbow thing. I'd have the thing on my shin. One wrong pitch, your out.

[Marty]

I look like bubble John Travolta and bubble boy.

[Sam Morril]

For sure.

[Guest/Producer]

They do the police canine attacks. You got to run from the dog.

[Marty]

That's what I'm trying to shoot that dog, dude. Oh, oh, the suit. Okay. Nah, dude. I saw the video the other day. This Mexican, they're trying to arrest this fool, and he's, like, backed out with a gun in a bathroom. And they released a canine, and this fool has a bigger dog with them and scares the canine up.

[Sam Morril]

They call it back because you can.

[Marty]

Hear the dog screaming and take off.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Marty]

I got my dog, too.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that dog didn't sign up for that. For humans. I'm not gonna fight bigger dogs.

[Marty]

I don't.

[Guest/Producer]

I never heard of a dog.

[Marty]

What's the personality of a canine? I don't like them.

[Sam Morril]

I like that you turned into a criminal profiler right there. That was pretty good. Yeah, you did.

[Marty]

He doesn't really do.

[Guest/Producer]

What do you mean?

[Marty]

I don't like them? The dog automatically just attacked me.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I don't like dogs that attack humans. I'm very. I like. I like little dogs. Everyone's got one of their guard dog. Give me, like, a pug or something.

[Marty]

I like a big, dumb dog. I like big, dumb dogs.

[Sam Morril]

Dumb is good.

[Marty]

Where they're like, we can smooth their.

[Sam Morril]

Head and they're golden tree. They seem kind of dumb, right? Golden retrievers, I don't know if they are dumb.

[Marty]

I feel like they call me some slur. I don't like golden retrievers. They feel very Aryan.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Hitler would have liked the golden retriever, for sure.

[Guest/Producer]

We had a golden retriever, I swear to God, show up at our house the other Day, this fully grown golden retriever, one of our neighbors.

[Marty]

Your white life is completed, dude. It's completely.

[Sam Morril]

It's complete.

[Guest/Producer]

This dog showed up at our door. Our neighbor's like, is this your dog? He's at your door. He walked into our house.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Guest/Producer]

And just made himself at home.

[Sam Morril]

That's white privilege right there. Literally. Yeah. A black lab would never do that by your neighbor, Especially not in Florida. Right?

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah. This guy we found, he was chipped. We found his owners. He lived down the street.

[Marty]

That's a white owner.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, for sure.

[Marty]

Never mind. He's in back.

[Guest/Producer]

Exactly.

[Marty]

Damn. Dude, you're. If you could see your life now, right?

[Sam Morril]

You have a dog? Yeah. What kind of dog do you have?

[Guest/Producer]

He's a little seven pound Aussie palm. He looks like a little raccoon.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's cool.

[Guest/Producer]

And he's barking like a psycho at the window and like add other dogs as they walk by, and now this dog just walks into his house, says nothing. Makes his own life. He didn't do.

[Marty]

I'm like, he's a. You're a Ziggy.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Guest/Producer]

That's what I've been telling him.

[Marty]

Let this white man come into your house and take it.

[Sam Morril]

Are you guys animal lovers?

[Marty]

I love it. I don't. Yeah, I love animals.

[Sam Morril]

I kind of like most animals.

[Marty]

I just don't want ones that I can't arm wrestle. Like, I. If you're gonna kill me, like, I don't want to be around you. No gorillas? No. No elephants.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that. No, those aren't even in the conversation. I'm not. Yeah, like pets. Yeah, pets is.

[Marty]

Yeah, pets.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, pets are cool. Yeah. I don't like. Like in the wild animals that we.

[Guest/Producer]

Just had a little.

[Sam Morril]

I had a rat in my apartment recently, by the way.

[Marty]

Wild animals.

[Sam Morril]

People have rat pets. But I'm like, I don't want to rat. No, people do that. It's like a thing. But. Oh, my God, it was awful.

[Marty]

If he can talk like Splinter, I'm with it.

[Sam Morril]

Nah, dude, if he doesn't have an.

[Marty]

Asian accent, he's out for sure, right?

[Sam Morril]

He did. He did have an Asian accent.

[Marty]

Did he ask you for money?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. No. Rats suck, dude. I can deal with mice, but rats are like a. That's like a scary. That's a whole other thing, dude.

[Guest/Producer]

Is it as bad of a meme as it seems in New York City, which is rats everywhere? Like in current day?

[Sam Morril]

I think big, Like London, New York, like, yeah. You have like those rats, dude. It's crazy. I mean, but they kind of. They've killed a lot. There was a rat czar a few years ago in New York, but I don't know what they really did, but.

[Marty]

Yeah. How'd they kill him?

[Sam Morril]

They poison the ground, which I'm like, I'm. In my head. I'm like, that up the water supply, I don't even know. But yeah, apparently they've killed a lot of rats. But yeah, you still see them and they're cocky. The mice are, like, apologetic and scared. The rats will just, like, run by and you're like, dude, what the hell? They think they own the city.

[Marty]

They're apologetic. I like that.

[Sam Morril]

They are. About rats.

[Marty]

I think of mice.

[Sam Morril]

Like, mice feel bad. They're like, oh, yeah. Just. Yeah. But the rats are really. And they're everywhere. I was talking to the exterminator and he was like, dude, they're like five star hotels you think are nice. There's fucking rats in there and they're in the walls. I live in the 14th floor. The rat got in there.

[Marty]

Yeah. Determination, though.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. The part is you do respect them a little bit for making it that high. But it's. Yeah, it's. It's very. It's very upsetting when you see them run across your floor. Yeah.

[Marty]

I gotta be honest, dude. If everyone like, what was it in Simpsons? Snake Whacking Day. Remember the Whacking Day episode?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Now, if all of New York for three straight just took out rats, I think you guys would be okay.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, we have, like, masks on and just like a little purge. Like that homemade gun like the guy got you. The guy got me getting these.

[Marty]

Get all the Mexicans. We'll round them all up.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Marty]

And just drive by. I got all of these.

[Sam Morril]

That would be pretty cool.

[Marty]

Be horrible, but cool as.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's. I like, I like that this started how we're like, we love animals. We should murder every rat.

[Guest/Producer]

I didn't think poison the earth.

[Marty]

Why not? The soil.

[Sam Morril]

They're so dirty and disgusting, though. They're really on, you know, like, at least, like, training program. Cats are such clean animals. I love that about.

[Marty]

They're like cats.

[Sam Morril]

I like cats because they're independent and they're. They can do their own thing. Like, I love dogs, but there is a desperation where it's like, all right, yeah, yeah, I'm home. Chill out, cats. You can, like, leave for a few days and you're just like, hell, what's up? And he's like, hey, how are you? And I like that.

[Marty]

It's like an old married couple. Like y', all, if you come back to school. If you don't.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but I love dogs. I mean, who doesn't? What kind of sociopath. He doesn't love dogs. That's why dogs are great. I love a. I love a. Like, a friendly dog. Of course.

[Marty]

Like, the dogs try to talk.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. Like, Summer Sam wasn't his dog.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah. Not like that.

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ. I like dogs.

[Marty]

Give instructions.

[Sam Morril]

I like. I like. Dogs are like, dude, you should kill people.

[Marty]

Yeah, that one. Actually, the one that I keep. Was it the mailman? Right.

[Sam Morril]

Is that who he killed? I thought he killed the mailman. Right.

[Marty]

Or was he a mailman? Seinfeld. Yes, he was a mailman.

[Sam Morril]

Was he?

[Marty]

Newman got his bag to sell for Kramer at the airport, right?

[Sam Morril]

No, he was killing women.

[Marty]

Yeah. He was killing women.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Marty]

I went down the street with Jack the Ripper in London. We saw it. You should take a Torio for, by the way.

[Sam Morril]

He didn't even kill that many women. I don't know, but it's like. Do you have a fact checker here? It's like, not that many.

[Marty]

Yo. Little.

[Sam Morril]

To get the nickname the Ripper.

[Guest/Producer]

This is good brand.

[Marty]

He just smoked heavy. It is good branding.

[Sam Morril]

That's true.

[Marty]

He just sold weed to everybody. That's what it was like, the Ripper dog. He killed a five.

[Sam Morril]

That's it. That's what I mean. That's like.

[Marty]

I've killed more women than that. What the.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, that's five. Five feels like you don't get the Ripper.

[Marty]

I know a bunch of Mexican girls that have aborted more babies than he's killed.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Marty]

This is.

[Sam Morril]

11 women died in 10 years.

[Marty]

That's it. And then five of them were him. So he's got six. So some other guys got. He's like Tom Brady over here.

[Sam Morril]

Brady got seven.

[Marty]

He's got seven rings.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

All right. Tom Brady now. Never mind six. I could deal with seven.

[Sam Morril]

But you know what? Jack the Ripper, it's like, to me, it's like. It's. You're right. It's branding. It's not. It's brandy. I mean, it's.

[Marty]

It's.

[Sam Morril]

It's horrible, but it's not like. You're not the goat.

[Marty]

No, definitely not. No.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

No, there's. There's definitely a construction worker out there. It's got more than that.

[Sam Morril]

I think Americans just do more. We're just more driven.

[Marty]

Yeah, for sure.

[Sam Morril]

American serial killers really put up.

[Marty]

Done. We'll even eat them.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, how many did even. That. That female serial killer, Elaine Warnos or whatever. You know, the monster.

[Marty]

Oh, the. The movie. The.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah. How many did she kill?

[Marty]

I don't.

[Guest/Producer]

I don't.

[Marty]

I don't give them credit. I don't give. Female serial.

[Sam Morril]

Seven. Yeah. So our women are putting up better numbers than they're men.

[Marty]

Again, why we left.

[Sam Morril]

And female serial killers, that's not a big thing. That's not like a big. You know.

[Marty]

Did you imagine we stayed that that's why we left to start this?

[Sam Morril]

You. Yeah. Taxes suck our dicks, King George. Our serial killers are going to be awesome.

[Marty]

When I went to England and ate the food, I realized why we left.

[Sam Morril]

No, I. I'll say this, actually. I think London food is actually good now.

[Marty]

I don't eat meat. Like a dumb.

[Sam Morril]

You don't eat meat.

[Marty]

So that's why I was sitting there going, potatoes again. All right.

[Sam Morril]

No, dude, they have. They have good food there now. I think they sucked forever and they got the memo. And then they got. And then they brought some Mexicans, and then they were like, dude, we got to step it up. Well, you know, they have a lot of different. You just gotta have a lot of immigrants. You just have a lot of different types of people, and you're gonna have good restaurants.

[Marty]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

And they. And they did that now, you know.

[Marty]

A lot of Pakistani food.

[Sam Morril]

But everyone says, like, France is like the culinary. You know.

[Marty]

I didn't think so.

[Sam Morril]

A lot of people say France. I've never been to Japan, but they say Japan is up there. But France, they put up high. But it's like, to me, it's like fine dining. It's not. That's not the type of stuff I like. I don't. I don't like little plates. I want real food.

[Marty]

I ordered a pizza.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, in London.

[Marty]

No, in Paris, it was that big.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Marty]

It's fine dining. It's cool.

[Sam Morril]

I like.

[Marty]

I.

[Sam Morril]

Look, if you're in a little French place and you get me like a steak frites or something, I'm like, I'm up. You don't even eat that?

[Marty]

No, they did frites, yes.

[Sam Morril]

Love a steak freeze.

[Marty]

I don't even know what that is.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, it's just steak and fries.

[Guest/Producer]

Oh.

[Marty]

Oh, that sounds great.

[Sam Morril]

It's great.

[Marty]

You just church that one up.

[Sam Morril]

I like.

[Marty]

What, steak free?

[Sam Morril]

Well, you know, you get a little steak frites and you get a drink and you get hammered. You feel great.

[Marty]

I really like Paris. There was construction workers walking with wine and a baguette and like that's your.

[Sam Morril]

I love that lunch. I love that. That's cool as I like. I also butter and ham on a sandwich. Why don't we do that? That's great.

[Marty]

I feel like everything's excess here. Everything's just so too much.

[Sam Morril]

That was a Richard Jenny bit. He said the French have the croissant. We made the Croissan' wich I ate one yesterday. A Croissanwich.

[Marty]

Yes, I did.

[Sam Morril]

I love a croissant. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. I'm just saying it is excess.

[Guest/Producer]

I can inhale like six croissants like they're not even there. No problem.

[Sam Morril]

I would say it's my favorite like pastry type thing because I don't like super sweet. I like the buttery. I like that. It's.

[Guest/Producer]

I'll get a cheddar jalapeno one too.

[Sam Morril]

You start.

[Marty]

Ye crazy dude.

[Sam Morril]

I love a croissant.

[Marty]

My brain sucks. I wouldn't even thought of that. That sounds bomb.

[Sam Morril]

A big ass coffee. One of those. I'm. I'm cooking, dude.

[Marty]

I'm a different guy. I don't drink coffee.

[Sam Morril]

You don't drink coffee?

[Marty]

No, I just smoke weed and try. Why am I tired?

[Sam Morril]

It will make you coffee. Is. I've already had a few today. I love.

[Marty]

I wish I liked it.

[Sam Morril]

I'm flying. My natural energy is. I'm feeling amazing right now.

[Guest/Producer]

I had a flat white over the weekend for the first time.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, you ever have one of those?

[Guest/Producer]

Because I only drink black coffee.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know what they are.

[Marty]

Oh, I thought you're making a joke.

[Sam Morril]

No, no, no. That's what they. That's what they call car. You try to order like a drip coffee. We drink like. We drink like. They don't do coffee like in America. They do coffee like you pull down a lever and you pour it or pour over they. And. And you go to these other places and they're like what? That's not coffee?

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So you have to order like a flat. I don't even know what a flat white is. I order them a bunch.

[Guest/Producer]

Half espresso, half milk.

[Sam Morril]

So it's like a. It's like a cappuccino or something. Something. Right.

[Guest/Producer]

First time I ever got something that wasn't a black coffee.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I don't mind. I'll take just a black coffee. I get a little annoyed. I want a coffee.

[Marty]

It's always so loud. Wait, loud and late.

[Sam Morril]

Uber black.

[Marty]

Dude. It was 12 minutes late. What's up, guys? Taking a moment from this episode to talk about one of our brand new sponsors. And this is from Puffco. Quick announcement. Today's the day we're doing the giveaway. The giveaway we did last week. The giveaway winners will be announced and picked tonight. So make sure you follow on Instagram. Follow them on Instagram. We get all the information and you see maybe you won the whole entire pivot setup. Everything right here. Got it going. Right here is the mocha one. There's a little box for it. We got everything for it. The travel case, the hot knife. Most importantly, two tickets to Puffcon. October 4th and 5th. Got to be 21 and over. This year is the first year. It's been two days and gladly enough. I'm so stoked. We have a push trees booth. First time in six years we're doing a booth booth. We have to do some really cool stuff around seven, 10, maybe. I don't know. We'll see. With that being said, shout out to puffco. Shout out to puffcon. I'm hyped, guys. A little more than a month away, but remember, tonight we're announcing the winners. Make sure you follow us on Instagram, puffco and Dope's usual podcast. Marty and I will actually both be there. Marty's gonna be there, guys. No more. Where's Marty? He will be with me. It's gonna be fun. Key Glock's headlining. All right. Key Glock's headline. I think Alchemist is going to be there. La Russell's gonna be there. Reggie Watts, Eric Andre. There's a bunch of people. Last year was great. I'm excited for a two day this year. Once again, thank you for supporting the brands that support us. Back to the episode.

[Guest/Producer]

How did you and Mark meet and link up and start your show?

[Sam Morril]

Mark Norman and I were, we were open micros together. We were pals early on and we just hit it off like quickly. I love Mark and we just like, we just found out we just had a lot in common. We're very similar. And I would write jokes with Mark all the time. We just like meet up in the coffee shop and bounce jokes. And I loved his brain. I loved how he would. How he would think of comedy and how obsessed he was. Like, he was a guy who would like, you know, some comics you talk to early on and they don't really know comedy and you just bring up like an old special and they're like, Richard Pryor. What? And you're like, you don't know who fucking Richard Pryor is. So, you know, Mark was obsessed like I was. We talked like old George Carlin specials. We talk like, you know, all the comics we loved, and we kind of bond over this, share appreciation of comedy. And then, you know, we bounce our ideas off each other. And it's like a vulnerable thing to, like, tell your shitty new ideas because some of them suck. And he was never a dick about it. You have some comics, you tell a joke and they're like, what? That's not funny? And you're like, I know. It's just like an idea. So, you know, then you're not maybe like, oh, that's not the right.

[Marty]

Don't shoot it out.

[Sam Morril]

And then you find you're. You're. You're your best self with those people because you're. You're just willing to kind of take a weird chance and be very you. So, you know, it's also cool to just see Mark and, like, I always thought he was hilarious, but, like, we weren't good comics yet, you know. So I see some at open mics. I was like, oh, this guy's so funny. But I also had a low bar for what funny was like. I see. I'd see comics back then. I was like, this guy's great. And then like, a couple years later, I'm like, that guy's fucking horrible. I can't believe I thought that guy was funny. So we just hit it off. We'd write all the time. And then, you know, you. You start really rooting for your friends. You want your friends to really succeed because you see how hard they're working. And I think he got on Conan, first of our friends. And, like, that was a big mark. When we were young comics, we want to get on late night. And it's, you know, to young comics, I guess it's not as important now, but I think I see young comics and they still want to, like, get it on, like Fallon or something. Something for your folks. You're like, oh, I did a late night set on tv. And your parents were like, that's fucked. Although my parents were never. They were like, Conan, all right. And then I get like a write up in the New York Times, and they'd be like, you were in the Times? And I'd be like, yeah. They said I sucked. I didn't even say, but it's the times, you know? So, you know, we do like these late night sets. And that was kind of like what we looked up to, like, the comics of our generation before like, you know, David Tell and all these great comics, like Gerald always, all these guys, they were doing that. So we were like, this is what we should do. There was no clear trajectory, really. So the guys before us were like, we will go on the road. So Mark and I would, like, slowly tour. We'd kind of do our thing touring and build our audience and kind of get good. But we always quoted this Bill Burr thing where he called it killing in obscurity. So you're like, I'm killing, but no one knows. Like, I'm in fucking Dayton, Ohio. And I crushed. But no one knows who I am. And I'm just, you know, I'm just trying to get by. I'm just trying to make a living at this. And. And it becomes really. You become really obsessed with the road because you see development. Like, you have a new hour. You're like, all right, I wrote my first hour. I'm. I have another joke. I added a joke because you're on stage for an hour in New York city or in LA, when you're coming up, you're doing like 10 minute sets if you're lucky. It's hard to develop when you. When you have to kind of prove yourself and. But then when you're on the road alone and you can do like an hour plus, you're like, I can fucking. I can experiment. I can. I can try this, I can try that. I have my jokes at work. But when you're starting, you don't have your jokes at work. I mean, like, I remember my first headlining weekend. In my head, I'm like, I could do 45 minutes. I think I got like, 43. Maybe I could, like, try some crowd work. How the fuck am I going to fill the time? And I didn't, like, have enough. I mean, I was young, I didn't have enough jokes, and I was lucky to even be there. And I was very hard on myself for what constituted, like, a decent joke. So I remember I went up. It went really well. I get off stage, a club owner. I'm in Kirkland, Washington. It's like a suburb of Seattle. And this guy goes, what the fuck was that? And I was like, what? He goes, we're a family club. And I was like, which one? Which joke was the problem? And he just, like, shook his head and walked away. And in my head I'm like, I can't take any joke. I don't have enough time to take any jokes out. So I just gotta keep doing the same set. And then by the end of the weekend, he was just like, man, I was. I had my doubts about you. He really pulled it together. I'm like, I did the same set every show. I think he was just a crazy guy, you know, but he was like, man, you fuck, you're bad. The first night, he's like, you're like a bad guy. But by the end, he's like, man, that was. I'm like, it was the same show every night. I don't know what he was like, man, you really. You figured it out. I think it was just nuts. But, yeah, then Mark and I started kind of doing. It's weird because you. You as a young comic, you hang out drinking every night. We would just kind of be, like, at the bars and, like, you know, having fun, being silly and, like, living. And then you get older and you kind of go your own way. You kind of start doing the road, your own road. Like, at first we would not be out there as much, but then you're gone. You don't see your friends as much. So you're texting, you're calling, you're like, oh, what do you think of this joke? You're. You're, you know, trying to always think in terms of, like, what could go in the act. And. And it's weird. I mean, that's kind of what started the podcast, too, is like, we were like, we don't. We. We don't get to drink enough together. We so many. It was originally. It's called We Might Be Drunk, but it was originally called One More Drink, because when you're out with your buddies and you're like, all right, I should go. One of you always says, one more drink, you know, and then it would turn into 7am we would turn in drinking all night. Because it went from having one night to drink to having. Or seven nights to drink to having one. And we'd have to make that one night count, you know, because you miss your friends. And I mean, that's really. The. The podcast started during COVID is just like a. On Zoom. I was in LA and he was in New York, and it was just like, ah, we should, like, catch up and have a drink over Zoom. And then it just turned into a guy hit us up like, you should have a studio for this. And we're like, we don't. We're idiots. We don't know. So that's kind of how it developed. But, yeah, I mean, Mark has been my friend for, I mean, geez, almost like 20 years now. It's crazy.

[Guest/Producer]

So that's awesome.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's. I mean, your friendships are. It's. It. You lose some friends over the years, you become closer with other friends. I mean, that's the weirdest thing about. About getting older is, like, you have your group, but I think as you get older, the group kind of the circle tightens a little bit and you hold on to the people who, you know, are good friends and you're close to. But, you know, Mark and I are like, we're kind of interlocked on so much. We do a podcast together. We have a whiskey together. We wrote a movie together that we're hopefully going to shoot next year. So. So we. People were like, do you guys get along? I'm like, we have to work on so many. But we really do. We do get along really well.

[Marty]

Couldn't imagine you're not.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's a very.

[Guest/Producer]

That would be horrible if you guys hated each other.

[Sam Morril]

Imagine he's a very low mate dude. I've seen that. Yeah, I've seen. With people who shot each other and, like, you'll be on their show and the second it's over, they go their separate ways. They. Yeah, I've seen that for sure. You got. Yeah.

[Marty]

I mean, Regis and Kelly.

[Sam Morril]

I think everyone liked Regis. I think he was.

[Marty]

Because he talked like a dude that didn't know the next. He talks like Michael Scott. Improvisation, improv, conversation. Well. And it's like, you don't know what you're saying next. I can see it.

[Sam Morril]

But that was the charm, man. Yeah, he got. Guy was fucking cool, man. School. Yeah. You need. You need. I think people can tell if you're not really friends, though, because I remember doing some shows where people really hated each other, and I was like, this sucks.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Because I can tell you you're like a child of divorce and that you're like, this is terrible.

[Guest/Producer]

I don't enjoy people like watching real Friends. I feel like that's like the era that podcasting is in more than, like, celebrities.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

I would not watch a celebrity podcast because he's famous if he was funny.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I guess it depends on who the celebrity is. But, yeah, I mean, you know, didn't Obama and Bruce Springsteen have a podcast? I mean, what work, right? You gotta. You can't just grab two people. Look, look, Sometimes in movies. I was watching a movie last night where the two main actors were just horrible and like, they. And they. God, I feel bad saying I shouldn't say it. I'll tell you after. Okay. But it's a newer movie and they were both terrible. Like, they were. I didn't think they were really good actors, but they had zero chemistry. And I was like, if you're making a big budget movie, why wouldn't you do like a chemistry read? Like, you know, like, you can't just make two people have a kind of a love interest thing. And then you're like, I don't even believe this.

[Marty]

You know, it's like a bad menu items, like what with what you're gonna.

[Guest/Producer]

Do, all this work, but the crucial piece that you really need to make it work isn't there.

[Sam Morril]

I hate movies that aren't self aware. I hate anything that isn't self aware. But sometimes you'll watch a movie and it's like, just be a shitty. If you're a shitty movie, just be like a self aware shitty movie and then you're enjoyable. But if you, if you're a shitty movie that takes itself seriously, it's fudgeing stupid. If you're a bad movie, have some good action in it or something. Don't like be like, this is fudgeing artsy, dude. Just. I think any time something takes itself seriously, it's dangerous in any form of entertainment. I agree. But you know, sometimes it works. Sometimes you're like, oh my God, that was fucking incredible.

[Marty]

Sometimes. Sometimes. At worst, but not often.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But then some of the best stuff is kind of like almost like a wing to the camera a little bit like, like I feel like even like Tarantino doesn't take himself seriously.

[Marty]

No, he shoots Phil Lamar in the face during Pulp Fiction. Like that was the goofiest. But it needed to happen to spark it off.

[Sam Morril]

Man. That was a good movie. I was on TV the other day and I was like, every time it's on it's like, where's that?

[Marty]

There it is. Sealed the tape and, and taping vhs.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown. Back to back is pretty. I love Jackie Brown. That's such a good. Sam Jackson's so funny, man. He's so funny in that movie.

[Marty]

I just watched the Reservoir Dogs a lot.

[Sam Morril]

It's a great one. They're all. I mean, he's great. He's the best. I mean. But yeah, I just hate that's like take like really taking itself seriously. And anytime you can feel like. I think you can feel kind of self importance on people too, not just in life, but when someone's like dumb and like, oh, that's like what we're supposed to be making fun of. I feel like I grew up On Rodney Dangerfield, like, mocking the snooty people. Going to, like, Caddy's. I'll tell you, I bet you were something before electricity. All right. You know, mocking the country club.

[Marty]

People heard it.

[Sam Morril]

That was a good.

[Marty]

I was showing because he's younger. So I was showing him at the Laugh Factory Covina. They have a huge Rodney Dangerfield, like, in a nice frame above a fireplace.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

And I'm just trying to like, this guy was the man because I forgot he's way younger than me. So it's like I'm trying to like.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, back to school to me is like, that's what the movie we talk about, like, comfort watch. That movie just hits. Like, if I'm like, sick, you know, I just. The amount of jokes, I like that every character in that movie just serves to, like, set up his jokes. Some guy walks up to him, you're tall and fat. Oh, yeah. Well, you're short and ugly. You know, like, what purpose did that guy have except to just, like, show up and be like, hey, this is your bit. You want to tell why not?

[Marty]

Why not?

[Sam Morril]

I love it. I love this movie. I love that one.

[Marty]

Watch. Watch Groundhog Day again.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

You're like, I would have left the town. Right. Like, there's so many things that you.

[Sam Morril]

Can be like, yeah, but then you wake up and it's the. The loop. The loop gets you.

[Marty]

But, like, in 50 first dates, you've seen it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Why don't you just stay awake one night? Every time she goes to sleep, her memory erases. Try cocaine.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. Yeah. That's a good question. Once.

[Marty]

Just try it once. Damn. Rudy's over there taking steroids, but he can't get his sister a bag. It's crazy to me.

[Sam Morril]

Well, the time loop thing in Groundhog Day, I think. I think no matter what you saw, I think no matter what, even if you stayed up, you're just waking up. Because he tried a lot of. He tried to kill himself. Every time that movie's dark, you forget how dark it is because it's like you rewatch and you're like, oh, he's trying to murder himself every day. It's really fucked up.

[Guest/Producer]

I didn't walk away with it thinking that. I was a kid, though.

[Sam Morril]

Same. But movies used to be darker. Now there's like this crowd pleasing element where, like, they focus, test and, like, does this make anyone upset? If you made a movie back in the day, the characters were nuanced and. And now you make it, they're all cardboard cutouts. Because it all is like, this is. This type. I remember watching that movie as Good as It Gets with Jack Nicholson. It's a great movie. And I remember in the beginning, he's saying. He's like, saying some anti Semitic to people in the elevator, right? No, in the. In the diner. He's saying some mean stuff to do the Jews in there. And if they made that movie now, that would be his whole character. That would be like. They're like, he's an anti Semite. No, he's just a fucking asshole. That's what he is. And a movie could be that back in the day. No, he's a. He's a prick. He's a. He's a curmudgeon. He's not a friendly guy. But now I feel like there's, like, no. Like, you could be kind of racist in old movies, and it didn't mean you were a bad person. It meant maybe you were, like, ignorant and stupid. But now if you're a racist in a movie, you're like, that's all it is. You're like the grand wizard of the kkk.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know, but back in the day, you were like, oh, no, I'm like an ignorant guy.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I think people. They don't see nuance anymore, and they don't want to make characters who have nuance anymore. And those characters kind of reflect how we see the world. So now you just see a person. You're like, he's a racist. And you're like, is he or is he. Did he misspeak once and he's kind of dumb. I don't know.

[Marty]

I thought the. Was white is the perfect example of that.

[Sam Morril]

What?

[Marty]

When Roseanne was like Planet of the Apes, I thought that was white. She has a good track record of being an All Right.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But also, like, because don't blame Ambien on your dumb tweet either. I didn't know I was on Ambien.

[Marty]

All right, what's ambient pill?

[Sam Morril]

Ambien's a sleeping pill that you. I guess you can do stupid on it.

[Marty]

We can't spell perfect.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I think. I think. I think Roseanne's a little nutty on top of that.

[Marty]

I'm just saying that aspect of it, like, oh, then now you're a racist. Forever Hulk Hogan.

[Sam Morril]

I don't.

[Marty]

Like, once. Bad. That was. It was bad. Yeah, it's the Hulkster dude. Don't be. That's not his whole life. Yeah, but you're right. Like, it is a reflection of the world. Everybody, like, you don't like. You like Donald Trump, then everything about you sucks.

[Sam Morril]

I think a certain. I think once you have a track record for doing it again and again, fine. But if it's like a one time offense, let's write it off as a misdemeanor. That's all I'm saying.

[Marty]

Like a Cosby thing. Like. Yeah, pretty sure. Pretty sure he's a weirdo. A lot of have said. I woke up and I think.

[Sam Morril]

I think, I think he raped me. Yeah, pretty sure.

[Marty]

It's putting all over me when I woke up and I'm pretty sure he raped me. Me. You have to believe a lot of these right before it's really.

[Sam Morril]

Is that what. God. You guys know the algorithm better?

[Marty]

No, we. We do. We. We're. We. They do not like us.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Marty]

YouTube hates us, dude.

[Sam Morril]

You know, we drink.

[Marty]

We. I mean, we don't drink. We just. If we drank it'd be fine.

[Sam Morril]

But they're like, oh, you smoke weed? They censor it.

[Marty]

Oh.

[Guest/Producer]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

YouTube, like a joint is like a dick in the mouth. It's like that bad. Jesus Christ. Like, it's that graphic.

[Marty]

I can't smoke every appearance episodes restricted, so.

[Sam Morril]

Wow. That's not.

[Guest/Producer]

But they don't. So they don't mess with you for the alcohol at all.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. I wouldn't know. We're idiots.

[Guest/Producer]

You would know. I mean, it would be an issue if they were messing with you.

[Sam Morril]

Well, why would they mess with this?

[Marty]

It's legal to drink my other channel, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's right.

[Marty]

It's the same thing. I have another channel. It's all weed. Same thing.

[Sam Morril]

No, I have another channel where we do heroin and we children and you demonetized us. It's crazy.

[Marty]

There's a girl that does get ready with really upset the get ready with me and she smokes meth out of a Pookie on YouTube and so channel and she's not deleted like us.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Marty]

She smokes meth and then does get ready with me tutorials with makeup.

[Sam Morril]

This Mexican, she covers her bases. I like that. Isn't that if you don't like the meth, I got something for the family. I like that.

[Marty]

Also my kids here for the moms, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's bad stuff. You just. You just see. I mean, look at down this downtown. Downtown LA is that's.

[Marty]

That's Biker Crank.

[Sam Morril]

Is it? Yeah.

[Marty]

And fentanyl and stuff.

[Sam Morril]

Fentanyl, that's the best stuff.

[Marty]

Fentanyl's the new babysitter, dude. What do you mean takes your kids away forever? Just watches them and that's it? It's one little. One little taste.

[Sam Morril]

Fentanyl. I'm jealous of these Sleep. Not only they sleep, but they're just like. They're like. They're like, yeah. And they're like. I'm like, I never let anything out like that. I'm. Everything is held in here. I'm so jealous of the. The. Of the drug. I know. I know that my home life is probably much better than theirs, but the fact that they're like, it's all out there is a part of me that's like, ah, I'm envious.

[Marty]

You know, that's funny. I'm envious of their backs. They could all do that. Fent fold. And my back suck. I want to bend.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Marty]

I want to be able to touch my toes for long periods of time.

[Sam Morril]

They're like, see you in that music video, right? They're contorting. Yeah, they're really.

[Guest/Producer]

What if they're just doing yoga out there?

[Marty]

Oh, fancy yoga. I like that. What if I just start smoking fat and my back got fixed? I mean, that's.

[Sam Morril]

I think that's how they get on it. Right? It's like the pain stuff. Yeah.

[Marty]

I have a real bad back, though, so I'm like, really? Pills? No, nothing. Yeah, so I'm just like. I don't do. That's why I probably could get so high.

[Sam Morril]

I used to have real bad back. Yeah, it's. It sucks that. Back problems, dude. It's. It's everything. You think of it all day and then your friends don't have any empathy for you because you're complaining.

[Marty]

They do now.

[Sam Morril]

He's whining. But then the one time they get a up back, that's what happens. They're like, well, this is what you're living with. Yeah, it sucks. No, People don't know. And then I bet. Let me guess, everyone's telling you. Have you read Healing Back Pain by John Sarno? Has everyone told you my friends are drug addicts? They just go to the doctor? Well, there's a book called Healing back pain by Dr. John Sarno. And they're like, you just haven't read the book? And I'm like, I read the fucking book. You think the book just magically heals your back? It's helpful. A lot of it is in your head, but a lot of it is physical. A lot of it's probably anxiety and stress you have that's building up 15 ruptured discs. I mean, it's that, too. 15 ruptured, two broken vertebrae. How do you have that many ruptured discs?

[Marty]

Risks. I used to do a lot of weightlifting competition and my family does moving, so I did movie my whole life.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God.

[Marty]

And in the past five years, I've just been like, get fatter and get on the computer. And that's what happened.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. She did. You did, like, the triple crown of every bad. Everything hit the drugs, you hit the levels. Damn.

[Marty]

But I'm fixing it now. I'm getting. Look at this. This is why I sit like this now.

[Sam Morril]

Rupture discs is brutal.

[Guest/Producer]

I just have to call on the way up here. I got to get the injections from.

[Marty]

You guys in your 30s, by chance?

[Sam Morril]

Well, yeah. What's it called again? I got one of those once. The.

[Guest/Producer]

It's called the.

[Marty]

It's a dejection.

[Guest/Producer]

It's like a epidural.

[Sam Morril]

Epidural. That's what.

[Marty]

Oh, that's what my mom got. Be careful. Yeah, she complains about it since he was born. They gave it in their spine.

[Sam Morril]

I remember Rogan yelled at me for getting one of those. He was like, you did that? And I was like. He's like, I would have gotten you stem cells. I'm like, I didn't want. What am I going to text you? Be like, hey, can I get. Get. I don't know how any of this works.

[Marty]

They're jelly. You just drink it.

[Sam Morril]

No, they. But he was like, that stuff's bad. It just numbs. Look, you don't want to just numb it either. You want to fix it, too, but it's hard to fix.

[Marty]

So I don't do it because I don't want to numb it. And then one day I'm doing something and fall.

[Sam Morril]

Do you think if you lifted weights, it could kind of, like, correct it a little bit or.

[Marty]

No, I do the weights where you lift that. We pull down.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Pull my back up.

[Sam Morril]

Interesting.

[Marty]

That's what. That's the only one I can do now.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Marty]

But I get to a specialist, they pull my. With like, a tugboat.

[Sam Morril]

There's a chiropractor I saw out here. He was amazing.

[Marty]

There's so many.

[Sam Morril]

God, he was really good. They tell you to be careful when they crack your neck, but I gotta tell you, he helped big time.

[Marty]

Oh, you went to him?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I did. I was here, like, way back in the day, and I was doing. I think I was doing like, Conan or at Midnight or one of those shows, and I couldn't move. And I Went there and he saved the day. He got me walking again, like, like that. And he was such a good guy that he was like, I'll do a free adjustment the next day at this time. I was like, I can't do that time, I'm taping a thing. And he goes, I'll come in early. And he did. He was a great. I gotta look him up. Please, please. Game changer. Yeah, he was, it was like in my blades and stuff so it on my neck too, but. Oh yeah, but I'm all right. I mean it's like, it's, it's me. It's totally manageable. What you have is sounds awful. The ruptured disc, I had like a bulge disc and it's same thing, but it sucked. But yeah, it's enough.

[Marty]

No fun at all.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. All your young listeners are like, what? Life is great.

[Marty]

No 19 years old has happened, dude. The whole life I've been.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's crazy, dude.

[Guest/Producer]

My wife had spine surgery. Not that long. We talk about this.

[Marty]

We're all able bodied here, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Getting older is crazy.

[Guest/Producer]

Throwing a couple car accidents and really linger. That's that.

[Sam Morril]

Well, she is a lady driver. It's her fault.

[Marty]

But dude, our beware our female.

[Sam Morril]

I can't even drive. I shouldn't even make that joke. I can't even drive a car.

[Marty]

Wait, you're from New York, it's different.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I have a license, but it's a, I, I can't drive.

[Marty]

Isn't that crazy?

[Sam Morril]

Well, you know what happened? I, I, I'm so bad at driving that I failed the first two tests in the Bronx. And then I went back and I was like, if I fail three times, I'm such a failure. And I, I saw the lady come, come in the car and I go, please don't fail me, I'm awful. And she started laughing. I was like, I'm in, I'm good to go. I hit cones, I sucked. And she was like, you're fine. No. And I think, think she just found it funny that I sucked and I got lucky. And then, but then I was driving, I was driving out here once, I was driving out here once in la and God, man the bat. They hate bad drivers out here. Oh, and I felt horrible. I was, I was driving badly and, and some guy, some guy pulls up, he goes, what are you a idiot? And I was like, I'm sorry, I'm bad. Like I think he expected me to be like you back. But I was like, I'm sorry, I'm really A bad driver. And he was like, oh, it's okay, man. He like, he didn't know what to do with my energy because I was like, I know it's. It's bad. They only know what to respond with. I mean, no, you. And then he would have come out, it would have been a fight. But when someone's just like, I'm really bad at this. I'm a New Yorker. I'm sorry. He was like, he was like, I'll.

[Marty]

Give it a lot of the thumbs up.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Like good stuff. Yeah.

[Marty]

And I drive off. Oh.

[Sam Morril]

I was like, you're good though.

[Marty]

You're a good self aware bad driver, man. I really like you. So, like 10 times more.

[Guest/Producer]

You never owned a car?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, of course not. But I, I'm a terrible driver. So I've driven friends cars and stuff because people were like, they hear I'm a bad. We have a license. How bad could you be? And I'm like, do you want me to drive? And yeah, I'm like, oh, my God. You're like really bad. I remember I used to open for Davitel, the comedian who I love, and he's a really bad driver. He's a New Yorker too. And he would be like, the whole time, he'd be like, chain smoking. He'd just be like, sorry. So he'd be like, swerving weird. Be like, sorry. And I'd be like, this is crazy. He's a really bad. I've heard Colin Quinn's at old. Another New York comic, another here. He's terrible. I'm really bad. I've done. I remember I opened for a guy once on like the, on the understanding that I could drive. He's like, you can drive. I was like, yeah. And then I got in the car. He's like, you're a awful. He made me pull over and he's.

[Marty]

Like, oh, the pullover's like getting called off the mound.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, get out of here. You're getting rocked out there.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

No, I suck. I'm such a bad driver and I've done it. I remember I. I remember I was dating a girl and I had to pick her up in Queens. She had a car and she. Can you grab me in Queens? I was like. I didn't want to admit how bad I was at driving and I crashed twice on the way. I was just like. And, and, and I was like. I got out and I looked. I was like, nothing on either car. I'm good. I'm. I'm good to go. I was gonna like, leave a note. But I was like, there's no scratch. I fuck. I lucked out. And she. I got her. And she was like, you got your finals? Yeah. I just tell her, oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's incredible. I'm a danger. I'm a danger behind the.

[Marty]

Are you good at, like. Like, video game driving at the arcade?

[Sam Morril]

No, I'm not good at any of it. I'm not even good. I'm a good. I'm a great, fun seat passenger. Yeah, I. I'll play the music. I. I keep the chatter going. I never. I. I keep a good energy. My friends are driving. I'm great. I'm great up there. I'm keeping away. What kind of music do you like? I'll find a list. You like jazz? I got a jazz list. I got all kinds of playlists. I've put together Fred's Drive.

[Marty]

You like, if it's your car?

[Sam Morril]

Well, I don't have a car.

[Marty]

I'm saying, like, if it's your rental, like, I rented it, but you drive.

[Sam Morril]

Sure. Yeah. Well, my friend Gary comes on the road with me a lot, and he'll drive, you know, and he'll. If we're doing that and. Yeah, but he's like, you have no sympathy for drivers because you're a fucking idiot. So I was like. We were driving to Boston. I was like, do you want to drive back tonight? He's like, you want me to drive 12 hours today? And I was like, oh, is that. That's too much? He's like, yes, that's too much. I don't want to drive for fucking 12 hours. So I was like, all right.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah, My friend. Jeez. We've. We've many times just switched, like, or in San Francisco, switch. Once we get close, just get out and off. Drive.

[Sam Morril]

We. I have to have a lot of trust in drivers. I did a tour bus for the second time on a tour this year. We'd like 50 cities on a bus. You sleep on the bus. The driver has to be good. I sleep well on it. You actually. It rocks you to sleep.

[Marty]

It's nice to trust somebody that's.

[Sam Morril]

He's great. He's a great. I know him. And it's the third time I've used him, so I trust him very much. But I'll tell you the crazy thing is, before we did the tour bus, we did, like, five cities and, like, a sprinter van, which is really annoying because you either go. You either lose your day driving. I like the efficiency of the tour bus. You Just wake up in the city. You're like, I have a day in the city. As opposed to like, you leave after the gig. It's like a four hour drive in a sprinter van. Or you leave. I'd rather leave after the gig. Or I'm wired and I'll just sleep in and have a day in the city. But the first night, we're driving from Charlotte to Richmond, Virginia, and this guy picks us up and we're in separate cars. I'm with Gary, and the guy's like, really driving slowly. I'm like, dude, you're really going slowly. Can you just go like a little more quickly? It's like, taking forever. And he's like, yeah. I was like, dude, do you fall asleep at the wheel? He's like, no. And I'm like, I think he just fell asleep. And we're like, whatever. This is crazy. So Gary and I are watching that movie the Substance with Demi Moore. Yeah, I'm not enjoying it. I didn't like it. But, you know, it's. It's. I. It started interesting and then it just. It was like one of those. I hate movies. I hate movies that just punch you in the face. I'm like, hey, guess what? I can. I can deal with a little subtlety. I don't need to be like. I'm like, I get it. Being a woman is hard. I understand the point of the movie. I used to be a woman. I transitioned. But I. You know, we're in the car and the guy just fucking swerves off the road, and we're like, what the fuck? He swerves completely off the road. His head to sleep against the wheel. We're like, bro, wake the fuck up. We're like hitting him. Like, wake up. And we wouldn't have been awake without the substance. So thank God. We probably would have dozed off in there.

[Marty]

Thanks, David Moore.

[Sam Morril]

Thank you.

[Marty]

You fucking jerk.

[Sam Morril]

No, she's hot. She looks great in the movie.

[Marty]

No, that movie. Didn't she lose an Oscar to a Young about that movie? Just like the movie.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The girl in the Norris is great. Demi Moore is great. Now. It's just. I didn't like the movie, but she's also, you know, it saved my life, so I have to.

[Marty]

It saved my life. The substance. I like when people leave that. That movie saved my life.

[Sam Morril]

It saved my life. The guy fell asleep. We had to pull over and wait for another car to grab us. And the company was like, oh, the drunk that rides on the house. I'm like, the one that nearly killed me. Thank you for that. That's cool.

[Marty]

Yeah, yeah. No, my family's all drivers. I only trust a few people.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

My grandma, truck driver, my grandpa, my uncles, everybody.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, wow. Truck driver is a tough job.

[Marty]

It's different. So I'm like, I trust. It's hard for me to be people to drive me. I can't fall asleep unless I trust you with my life. It's too much. I feel like I'm gonna wake up.

[Sam Morril]

Flying through the sky, and I don't usually. I. I probably wouldn't have fallen asleep, but I probably would have, like, just spaced out. So I maybe wouldn't have paid attention as much that he drove. But, like, I'm like, you're. Dude, you're driving off the road. But the. The tour bus thing I could sleep on because you just get. Look, when that bus is still, you feel like you're like, holy. I'm in a casket. Basically. It's this small, but when it's moving, it kind of, like, rocks you to bed, and you sleep like a baby. I love it.

[Guest/Producer]

And you got a new tour that you're on now, right?

[Sam Morril]

It's all kind of part of the same tour. But, yeah, I'm going to, like. I got some fun one. I got, like, Chicago. Chicago's great.

[Marty]

Carnegie Hall.

[Sam Morril]

Those are big ones. Yeah.

[Marty]

Chicago, October 4th. Carnegie Hall, December 4th.

[Sam Morril]

You're good, dude. Yeah. Chicago theater is epic. I love it. I've done it before. It's one of my favorite venues. In the seat. It's like 3, 500, I think it's a big one. It's really great. It's really epic to play. And I really love Chicago, so it's probably what might be my second favorite city in the. In the country.

[Marty]

Can I get your advice or what do you. I've asked people. I don't get it. Like, on a big. I've been doing Stan. I've done, like, 14, 15 shows. It's fun. It's really fun. I'm finding myself not being able to hear.

[Sam Morril]

You can't hear what? The crowd of the.

[Marty]

Like, the crowd. Like, I feel like I'm spacing.

[Sam Morril]

So that means the jokes aren't landing.

[Marty]

No, no. Like, on a big room. Like, when the laughs go back and then they come back to the front.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

It's almost like discombobulating a little. I'm trying to hear myself and hear this, and this is talking to her friend. Like, I'm trying to. Like, it's like, I told you, like, I'll watch things back, like, oh, the whole room. This is fine. How come I didn't hear anything?

[Sam Morril]

Well, I think you're like. It's like your spidey sense is a little heightened, right? Like, you're very aware of every. So sometimes you'll see a comic snap on someone, and the whole crowd doesn't know what happened. They're like, why is that guy so pissed? Because they didn't hear it. But you hear it. You hear someone, like, chatting with your friend. So if someone's being rude, you kind of have to be like, hey, could you. Could you. You have to, like, put it out there so people know. So if it does get bad, you know that they're being the. And not you. But. Yeah, no, your senses are going to be heightened up there for sure. Yeah, you just. You just have to get in a rhythm where you kind of can silence them. And I'm also like, I'm not super high energy on stage. This is my voice. So I. Is how I talk on stage. So I kind of have to get into a rhythm. I'm not gonna, like, hammer. I'm not gonna talk over. That was never my style to, like, talk over people and, like, they're screaming comics. I'm just. I was never that. It wasn't natural. It's not how I speak. So, you know, those guys can kind of like, get in a rhythm hammering people. But I have to, like, lull them into a. You know, like, you see comics like Nate Bargassi or something. He like, lulls them into his rhythm, you know?

[Marty]

Yeah, I'm like. I said I'm super new to this, so they're like, I don't. It's like, going first sucks my. For what, dude? Get out of the way. And the. I had four shows this weekend in Miami.

[Sam Morril]

And the first one, Miami Info. Yeah, that's a cool. I love it. Melissa and Justin, the best is cool, man.

[Marty]

Yeah, he's really cool.

[Sam Morril]

I love those guys.

[Marty]

I get it now.

[Sam Morril]

You get one.

[Marty]

I get why they're like, first sucks. Like, it's his first show. It's an early show. My people are still sitting down.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I hate.

[Marty]

I hate the dude.

[Sam Morril]

I don't like early crowds are always a little worse.

[Marty]

It felt this. Everybody's distracted. I said that it wasn't. It wasn't offensive.

[Sam Morril]

Well, problems. Miami is too.

[Marty]

Is.

[Sam Morril]

They show up 30 minutes late.

[Marty]

We started 35 minutes late. Every night, every day, every.

[Sam Morril]

Guys show up on time for something. I'm sorry. The butt implant ran long. But like, Jesus Christ, it is Miami. People are very self involved. They. They don't give a about you. They're like, oh, it's not like Orlando, where it's like working class, or Tampa, where it's like working class. And they kind of are like, listening. Miami's like, I have my own influencer thing. I do. I don't give a about you. Miami's tough. Miami's not a good comedy city.

[Marty]

That's what they were just telling me, Mike.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, it's not.

[Marty]

The second set went. They were.

[Sam Morril]

I love this stoke. I love the. I love going there because I love the staff at that club, and I really. I have fun there. But no Miami. And it's not even. It's like in. It's in, like, Doral. It's not even.

[Marty]

It was Doral.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I had an incident there too, once. I remember at that hotel, I was across the street, my buddy Gary, and we just walked into it, like, we couldn't find a coffee shop. We're like, thank God. At Dunkin Donuts. And we walked in, and we're both the type of dudes that we can't function to leave coffee in us. We're just like robots. And we're like, oh, can we get two coffees? And the guy was like, I'm sorry. I just got a phone order for 72 egg sandwiches. And we're like, make two coffees. Like, can you just make the coffee? He's like, no, I have to do the egg sandwiches first. And we're like, oh, come on. So we both were like, like, can we just get a coffee? We're like, come on, please, Just two coffees. We're like, losing it with nuts. And then he's like. He turns around, he's like, all right, I'll make him extra special for you. And we're like, all right. So he brought him out and he handed them to us, and we paid for them. And we're like, we shouldn't drink these. Right? We just threw them the out.

[Marty]

You waited.

[Sam Morril]

He said, extra special. He definitely did something to him. You don't say. You don't. You're not. You're not like, you. I'm making my egg sandwiches first. And then you're like, like, all right, I'll make him special. There was something very sinister about it. So we didn't get the coffee. We had to walk forever.

[Guest/Producer]

Sounds horrible.

[Marty]

Well, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I love how I did it. Like, the Jews in the desert, we had to walk.

[Marty]

There. Why do Jewish people live there?

[Sam Morril]

It's hard as a question there because it's, It's.

[Marty]

They want to complain.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, they. I think that's part of the plane. Jews love to complain.

[Marty]

Even my back, that's a nerve. I almost go. My back no matter what, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but. But that. Miami's tough, man. Florida is a real mixed bag.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Those big states with a lot of cities like, like Ohio, Texas, Florida, they're a mixed bag. Parts are great and parts will make you want to check the way to the ceiling fan in the hotel room just in case, you know, you don't know. You don't know. So, I mean, you know, Orlando, always have a great time. Tampa, always a great time. Like those cities. I think I'm gonna take my next special in Tampa. I have a weird. Tampa's very fun to me there. You can't offend those people.

[Marty]

Oh, incredible.

[Sam Morril]

They're. They're unable to be. Dude, you'll never hear, oh, in Tampa, they'll laugh at anything or they won't laugh. It's just. But they're never like, oh, one time I. I walked a woman from this club inside Splitters, which is a really fun club in Tampa, and I was working out this joke that, like, sometimes you're working at a bit where you're just like, this is not working, but when it works, it murders. So you're like, what the. It was a joke about a baby getting eaten by an alligator.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Sam Morril]

So that joke took a while to develop because it's like, special, right? It's hard to do an 8. It's in one of my specials. I think it's in positive influence, but it's hard to do a joke that's an eight minute dead baby joke. It's a challenge. It's hard to keep the ball in the air. And I remember doing it, and at Tampa, it was crushing. But one woman. It's funny. You're like. I was like, I gotta drop this joke. It's bombing. And then Tampa, like, brought it back to life. I was like, oh, my God. They. They breathed air into this. They're loving this dead baby chunk. So literally, that weekend talked me into. I was about to drop it, and it talked me into keeping the joke because I told it the week before in Sunnyvale, California, and it was bombing. And in the middle of it, a woman goes. She just gets up and walks to the door and then opens it and goes, you fucking suck. And just slam the door. And I was like. I didn't even get a response because she Just walked out. And I was like. And then another woman yelled out, I think you're doing great. And I was like, oh, pity. This is horrible. I hate myself. So I was gonna drop the joke, but then I brought it to Tampa and I told the. I told the joke, and it's killing every show. And then the last show, this lady walks out furious, and she takes a selfie of herself and posts it to the side. Splitter's Facebook page of herself crying and goes, look what the comedian did to me from his dead baby joke. And that lady. And I was like, this is the funniest thing I've ever. Like, are you kidding me? Like, you. You took a selfie of yourself crying. So I was like, all right, I gotta keep this pissing off the right people.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

So how do you know when it's time to drop something? Because that's. I. I'm still. I ask every. I try to get a little piece of advice from people. The first shows, they. They've looked at me like I was a. A horrible person when I said something. And the next one, well, that's part of.

[Sam Morril]

That's part of the process, right? Well, like, when you're doing a dark joke, they don't just dislike the joke. They now dislike you because you're like, oh, this guy's not only unfunny, he's a piece of. So you have to really figure it out. But you just know for no one to drop a special is, like, it's. It's confusing, right? You. I think you always got to tour the. Out of it. Like, run it through the mud, bring it to every. As many cities as you can. Like, you know, I took this to, you know, in the first three months of the tour, we hit, like, 50 cities. I was like, I want to make sure this is funny to all these people. Boise, Idaho, Seattle, Dallas, Austin, you know, every Boston, D.C. as many places I can hit. I just want a Phoenix wherever I can go. So, I mean, you know, take them to Europe now. I used to not do that, but.

[Marty]

Do you find that they're responding the same in other countries?

[Sam Morril]

Dude, Yeah. A certain point, you're playing, like, fucking Stockholm, and it's the same as Peoria, Illinois. You know, it's like, at a certain point, it's just all the same. It's like you're. It's hitting. It's hitting or it's not hitting?

[Marty]

White faces, white face.

[Sam Morril]

That's it. That's the common denominator.

[Marty]

Ohio, Stockholm.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, but. No, but At a certain point, like, it either works or doesn't work, you know, so it's. Yeah, I think you start to feel like it's like the. I talk to people. I change it for this. I'm like, I don't change. I mean, maybe I'll riff on the city a little bit that I'm in, but I'm not like, the. The show is the show. I'm like, this. I'm trying to build this into a special that's funny everywhere. Sometimes you'll find a bit doesn't quite hit as hard and certain. Like, all right, this is. Maybe this is not perfect here, but I think it's funny enough to stay in the special, so you just. You just know. I think by the end of the tour, you're like, if this isn't good enough to shoot, I should fucking quit, I guess. I don't know. I think it's ready.

[Guest/Producer]

Do you know when you're gonna film the special next?

[Sam Morril]

Probably early next year. I'll probably go to. I have an idea doing at the Tampa theater. I think that'd be kind of cool. It's a pretty theater, and it's. I. I just feel like a Florida special. I've never done one there. I just feel like there's something about it that could be kind of fun, you know, I've done, like, Boston, New York, Chicago, like, I've done. But I feel like this is, you know, go outside your comfort zone a little bit. It's fun. It's different, you know?

[Marty]

So the. The Eras tour, right?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

That's what this is right now.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Marty]

Okay, so you have October 4th, Chicago. I'm not sure what theater, though.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Chicago theater.

[Marty]

Chicago theater.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Okay. And then who came with that name? Chicago theater?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, we got. It's gorgeous. One of the best theaters in the world. It's insane.

[Marty]

I feel like some Phantom of the Opera could be there.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Maybe.

[Marty]

It's creepy.

[Sam Morril]

Well, I saw in the thing, it was like, Ringo Starr, Samuel. Holy. That's pretty cool.

[Marty]

Following a Beetle screen shot that.

[Sam Morril]

I know. It's pretty cool.

[Marty]

I'm above him.

[Sam Morril]

That's crazy. Yeah. No, I'm pumped. I did it once before or twice, actually, because I opened for someone there back in the day. But I. Yeah, I did it myself a couple years ago. It's amazing.

[Marty]

And Carnegie Hall, December 4th.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah. And all over Europe, so. In between. Yeah.

[Marty]

Do you know any spots in Europe where I'm going?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I'm going all over. I got, like, Europe. I'm doing Barcelona, Milan, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Dublin, Liverpool, Berlin. I I off top of my head. I don't know. But that's pretty much it. I think we got it boating to all of them. I'm boating. Dude, that's so cool, man.

[Marty]

I'm jet skiing, coasting. Yeah, that'd be so the African coastline. We went. We're in Miami yesterday. Went to some museum. There was live sharks in there.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Marty]

I'm good, dude.

[Sam Morril]

I know there's a cage.

[Marty]

I get it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

But I just want to punch it. So get it away from me right now.

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy that that's how you get a shark away. Because that sounds like. It sounds like a friend with you. But that is what you're supposed to do, right? You punch it and they're like, all right, my bad. Oh, dude, they want you dead.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Thank you. I broke into your house, and your house is made of quicksand. That would die.

[Sam Morril]

That would suck. So. Because you see those bites and you're like, you just lost your leg.

[Marty]

And it's a quick bite and it's. Yeah, it's not like the skin's gone. It's gone.

[Sam Morril]

I had a girl over and I was like, you want to watch. It was like, during the summer. You want to watch Jaws. It's like one of the best movies ever. And she goes, I have a shark phobia. I'm like, it's a movie. She goes, but I have a phobia. I was like, I don't even know. To me. Of shark phobias. Like, we just don't go in the water. They're not showing up in your house. I don't understand what the problem is. But she wouldn't watch.

[Marty]

Freaks me out, too, to see sharks underwater. But I do know it too. In the, in the tv. I do have that separation. Yeah, I do have that.

[Sam Morril]

I hate rats. I could see a rat. I could see a red in same the street. I hate lots of things, but I could still watch them.

[Marty]

Yeah, no, I get it. I don't watch underneath the water. And when you just, Just explore. I can't watch that.

[Sam Morril]

There's people that they do, like, spear fishing. Have you heard of this? The videos? Oh, my God. They, like, they go into water and you, like, shoot a spear through a fish, and then you, like, bring it.

[Marty]

Up and bring it up.

[Sam Morril]

But. But then, guess what? There's blood everywhere. And then sharks come for you.

[Marty]

My homie lives in Hawaii. He goes, you just tap him on the nose. They're just Curious. Trent says you just tap them on the nose. You. I'll be at home, dude. I'll be at home with his dog.

[Guest/Producer]

Double eye pokes for a shark.

[Sam Morril]

I don't like it.

[Marty]

Oh, what if you double eye poke with his little fin? We have to be friends. Like air bud. Like, I take him home after that, dude. I, I feed him a little homeless every couple weeks. Sorry. Unhoused. I feed him little unhoused people every week.

[Sam Morril]

I'm not a fan of that. I, I really.

[Marty]

Anything. They can't talk to me and eat me whole freaking get away from me.

[Sam Morril]

These scuba divers, too, they're upset. I'm good. It's not for me.

[Marty]

I've seen the mask. I know what happens. Scuba divers, yeah, they die at the beginning. I'm good.

[Sam Morril]

The mask, that's a pole, dude.

[Marty]

That's just, it's just there.

[Sam Morril]

Prime. Prime. Jim Carrey just cooking, just ISO. Just like. That was like, you know, not, Not a great script, but he's just carrying that.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah, I never really thought about that.

[Sam Morril]

That was like the Kobe, like 2004. Five years where he's just like. You're like, yeah, this is anything but. You're like, but you're. But you're just averaging 35.

[Marty]

Got a crush.

[Sam Morril]

Jim Carrey, just that dumb and Dumber and Ace Ventura in the same year.

[Marty]

Oh, you're a good perfect guess. We talk about 1996. 40% of this show. That's what year that came out, by the way. We know that because we talk about it so much.

[Sam Morril]

That was a great space jam.

[Marty]

Dropped.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. I didn't see the new one, but the original. The original had us. Was so cool.

[Marty]

You don't need. You don't need the new.

[Guest/Producer]

It was the last time Jordan was cool.

[Marty]

No, he became a slave trader after that. Did he? Jordan. Michael Jordan. He's a slave trade in Nigeria now. Do you see it?

[Sam Morril]

I didn't know that.

[Marty]

He is. He looks just like one. I'm telling you. He's got a little puffy. He's shiny. He. He looks like he'll sell people.

[Guest/Producer]

No, we said that was the last time he was human to the world.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Guest/Producer]

After that. Michael Jordan.

[Sam Morril]

Remember McDonald's had the cups.

[Marty]

I had him.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, me too.

[Marty]

The stuffed animals you get at McDonald's. McDonald's. You guys up? The world changed. When I say, when did you become an adult? When the McDonald's stopped giving you good toys because they used to have the best. Do you remember them selling VHS's at.

[Sam Morril]

McDonald's I. I remember, but I don't remember. It's like. It's like a memory world from there. Wow.

[Marty]

Orange Wayne's World tape, man.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. Wayne's World was great, dude.

[Marty]

Orange Wayne's World tape. I still want candy to pull down, but I'll die.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. McDonald's is. That was. That was classic. I love.

[Marty]

Used to be fun. Used to be America.

[Sam Morril]

High C. I remember high C, Orange, high sea.

[Marty]

I just drank some the other day.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Marty]

AMC carries it. Oh. It's the only time I ever see it. Dude.

[Sam Morril]

It's hanging out by a thread.

[Marty]

Dude. It's hanging on by a button, and you can change it to grape ic.

[Sam Morril]

Do you do the.

[Marty]

Do you do the suicides?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, the suicides.

[Marty]

You like to.

[Sam Morril]

I used to. I think. I think we were just reckless kids.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It doesn't hold up.

[Marty]

Did you also mix all the Play D'oh. Play D'oh colors together? Yeah, that was me.

[Sam Morril]

You have to.

[Marty]

I think so. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But there are ways to do it that. It's good.

[Marty]

It's orange and cherry.

[Sam Morril]

Because some people, you don't know what you're doing. You got to know what you're doing. You have to be, like, a mixologist, you know, it's like the. Because some people who don't drink, they'll do, like, do Red Bull and, like, root beer, and you're like, what? You're like. It tastes like a cocktail. You're like, all right, whatever, you know? But these guys who became sober have to, like, get something.

[Guest/Producer]

Oh, gotcha.

[Marty]

They eat fat and eat.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. You need something. You need, like, a cigarette or. You need, like a. Or, like a.

[Marty]

Or kid to hit sugar.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Kid to hit is a good one.

[Marty]

Kid to hit's good because, like, it regenerates.

[Sam Morril]

That sounds like an app. That sounds like an app. He shows up, like, piece of. You're like, all right, I feel better.

[Marty]

Sick, dude. It's a dusky app, like a kid to.

[Sam Morril]

That's it. That one's gonna be harder to get off the ground.

[Marty]

No, it's already approved.

[Sam Morril]

It's approved. It's approved.

[Marty]

Dude.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, dude.

[Marty]

State colleges only in India, where it was made. The app was actually made there.

[Sam Morril]

Sandusky, man. That guy.

[Marty]

That guy's cool, man. The. He's. He's. He follows through. Yeah. He does extracurricular with kids.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

That was teaching multiple things. That's why we get demonetized and for sure.

[Sam Morril]

But, yeah, we've had a few. This episode.

[Marty]

It is what it is.

[Sam Morril]

That really threw it really Up State College too, man. They had, you know, other problems too, but that one, you're like. You don't even. You don't even think about. You don't even think about them once there's kid on Cambridge Hill, like, yeah, we'll deal with the. The partying later, I guess.

[Marty]

You remember that movie Major Pain?

[Sam Morril]

I don't. I remember a little. I remember Damon Wayans. I don't think I remember.

[Marty]

The guy's shot. He goes, let me see your finger. And he breaks. He goes, no, it doesn't hurt so much when you shot. That's the child abuse on campus.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. Damon Wayne's in the 90s, dude.

[Marty]

What a man.

[Sam Morril]

Bulletproof.

[Marty]

Thank you. I like you a lot more now. I think I'm gonna say that more. No one's ever known what I'm talking about when. Say Bulletproof with Adam Sandler. Right, Adam Sandler. Damon Williams sticks a gun up his butt when he's trying to get out of the window. Funniest scene ever. Oh, did you ever watch Go Overboard with Adam Sandler?

[Sam Morril]

Of course.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That one was not his best.

[Marty]

No, but did you see. Remember Poseidon when he's sliding across the pole? That is. What's his name? Come on, help me.

[Sam Morril]

I. I saw so long. I don't remember.

[Marty]

He's the guy from.

[Sam Morril]

I remember it was like his first movie.

[Marty]

Titanic guy. Billy Zane. That's Billy's movies as. Oh, wow. Yeah. Two boat movies.

[Sam Morril]

Billy Zane. Sweet Zoolander cameo too. That was a great.

[Marty]

He was a demon knight. Tales from the Crypt. You remember that movie?

[Sam Morril]

Playing Brando now too. He looks like Brando. No, he looks good.

[Marty]

Okay, good. Because Billy Zane's cool, man. I don't want him to turn into like.

[Sam Morril]

Brando was the man. What do you mean?

[Marty]

Because he got fat as at the end.

[Sam Morril]

I know, but he was still cool.

[Marty]

Yeah, he's still so cool, man.

[Sam Morril]

Brando rules.

[Marty]

But yeah, that's Billy Zane's probably first role too, as Poseidon Adam.

[Guest/Producer]

I had that.

[Marty]

He played a comedian that went on a boat tour. Remember that?

[Guest/Producer]

He had the little sunscreen on his nose.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah. Like this. Yeah, I remember that dvd.

[Marty]

Sometimes how I manage. That's how he looks. Michael Scott. Sometimes I manage.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude. Airheads. I remember.

[Marty]

It's great too.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude.

[Marty]

Really crushed.

[Sam Morril]

He crushed it. That decade was insane, dude.

[Marty]

Did you see? It's. Let's talk about sad. Should you see the whale with Brandon Fraser?

[Sam Morril]

I never saw. Didn't look, here's my issue. I don't need to see him. If it's like a based on a true story, fine. I need to see a made up story about a 600 pound guy.

[Marty]

It's up.

[Sam Morril]

Is it good?

[Marty]

It's really, it's like, I heard it's.

[Sam Morril]

Just, it's just World grape.

[Marty]

It's what it's like pov. What's eating Gilbert Grape?

[Sam Morril]

Is it, is it entertaining?

[Marty]

It's very, very. When I watch movies I'm like, damn, this guy's just acting in a room. That's why I appreciated it.

[Sam Morril]

I got you. Wow. I like Brendan Fraser. I, I just, it looked too depressing for me. It's, there's never. It's hard to get like amped up to. I was like, dude, you guys want to watch the whale? It's hard to get like amped up to watch. It is hard.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah, for sure.

[Marty]

Chandler's List. I'll watch that.

[Sam Morril]

Right?

[Marty]

It's an action movie.

[Sam Morril]

Schindler's List is a beautiful action movie. Yeah.

[Marty]

Did you watch the new Naked Gun?

[Sam Morril]

I liked it.

[Marty]

I loved it.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, it was good.

[Marty]

That's you talking about like don't take yourselves. You serious? You know what this is? It was good.

[Sam Morril]

It was fun.

[Marty]

It was really reminded me of the 90s.

[Sam Morril]

A lot of good jokes. I'm also like, oh yeah, you can make a movie with jokes. Why, why aren't we doing that more? Because they don't want to make that stuff. It's also a bummer that they, they'll only do it if it's got a existing IP already. Because other people could do this.

[Marty]

Yeah, you're right.

[Sam Morril]

And they didn't bring in David Zucker for it. Which I thought was kind of weird, you know, because that's like his baby, you know.

[Marty]

I wasn't aware of that.

[Sam Morril]

He wrote the original Naked Gun, you know.

[Marty]

Oh, so they.

[Sam Morril]

Somebody else an airplane. Oh man, that's a legend, you know. So it sucks that he couldn't be involved in some way, but I did think it was hilarious. I really enjoyed it.

[Marty]

Within the first 30 seconds there was just five little one life. Like this is what I'm here for, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Don't you love that when the second year you're like, oh, this is gonna be good.

[Marty]

Pam Anderson, what'd you name? No, sorry. She said something so corny. 1991 with.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, she was great.

[Marty]

This is what I want.

[Sam Morril]

I liked her a lot.

[Marty]

It's like, oh, nice to meet you. Don't call me Shirley. One of those, like, Shirley, you're this. But don't call me like you. I love you so much. You're cooler without looking like a. I like you now more.

[Sam Morril]

I like. I like just like, hard jokes. Like, I just like. You're like, oh, they put actual work into this script. That's kind of cool. You know, so much is like, think about how hard it is to pay attention to movies now because, like, I don't need to see another Marvel movie. I get it. I get that they make money. I understand it, but I'm not excited to go. Like, it sucks that that's the only way they can try to get people the theater. I want to see some new ideas, you know, but also, like, when's the.

[Marty]

Last time you saw a clutch good movie? That was new. It's not like you said, there's no more character development with people. It's more just like the cutouts. Like, this is the jock and this is the. And like, the faculty. The weird. The jock, the drug addict, the hot new girl.

[Sam Morril]

I saw. I saw Anor in the theater, and I was like, this is awesome. Anora.

[Marty]

I haven't watched it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, it's the one.

[Marty]

The one that won the Oscar.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

I haven't want my sister's like, it's just a naked.

[Sam Morril]

It's good. It's a good movie, but it's. But it's cool to see in the theater. You're like, oh, this is like, not like a movie that gets made a lot. It's like an indie movie. It's great.

[Marty]

You know, there's a Quentin Tarantino theater he bought out here.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I heard of this.

[Marty]

We went and watched Pulp Fiction's 30th anniversary.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Marty]

On original film with the original commercial previews before it. Holy. The professionals coming out soon.

[Sam Morril]

Like, oh, my God.

[Marty]

Leon and little Natalie Port. Oh, my God, it was so cool.

[Sam Morril]

I saw. I saw young Natalie Portman play Anne Frank on Broadway. I was like, even as a kid, I'm like, she's too hot to be Anne Frank. See, and that wasn't a pedo joke because I was also a kid, so suck on that, people.

[Marty]

There it is. Double it. Crosses out.

[Sam Morril]

Sorry. All comes back to Anne Frank in the end.

[Marty]

Always does. Pedophilia and Frank.

[Sam Morril]

What other movies it. Because that was 94, right? What other trailers you get?

[Marty]

I don't remember.

[Sam Morril]

I don't remember.

[Marty]

But they bred. Oh, we wouldn't watch the Big Foot Fist way Bruce Lee there.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Marty]

On the Big Boss.

[Sam Morril]

Holy. I never saw that.

[Marty]

What is it? Foot fist way or not Footfist way. Sorry.

[Sam Morril]

That's something else.

[Marty]

That's. That's Danny McBride. That's.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that was funny.

[Marty]

The what? Sorry. In Chinese and America, they're different name movies. Bruce Lee. They're all different names.

[Sam Morril]

Like, were you guys big Bruce Lee guys?

[Marty]

Big time. As a kid, I was listening to much.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

As a kid. I. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I got no one to look up to Mar Lopez and Bruce Lee.

[Sam Morril]

Drugs, man. Cool as hell. Yeah.

[Marty]

He always had something to say. I always watched all his. Oh, man, I love that.

[Sam Morril]

Mother died so young, man. Crazy. Crazy to the. All these, like, greats died at that same age. Right? It was like the same.

[Marty]

Well, and then the curse or whatever for his family.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Brandon Lee, too.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God. Pre Alec Baldwin. Rust. His son gets shot.

[Marty]

Hey, man, if you're dating a. You actually shoot in the face. There's a lot more layers to this. I don't. I didn't know that till about a week later.

[Sam Morril]

What?

[Marty]

That the Baldwin guy was having an affair with that he shot.

[Sam Morril]

No, he wasn't.

[Marty]

Yes, he was.

[Sam Morril]

No way.

[Marty]

He cheated on his wife with that lady.

[Sam Morril]

I don't believe that.

[Marty]

That's when I went, no, she was married.

[Sam Morril]

You gotta fact check this, dude.

[Marty]

I saw it. He apologized and everything. I watched the thing about it.

[Sam Morril]

This is not true.

[Marty]

I. Unless TMZ is.

[Sam Morril]

If that was. If that was true, this would be a big. A big bigger thing. Yeah.

[Marty]

Watch. I saw and went, oh, dude, it's obvious. He shot. He took her out. Two for one. The is probably pregnant.

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ. This is got all dark. Hey, guys.

[Marty]

They'll love the show.

[Sam Morril]

Can't be real.

[Marty]

I always ask everybody. I don't know how I didn't ask you yet, but what are your favorite three movies? And I Hold on. Three movies and then three movies you can watch all the time because those are different movies.

[Sam Morril]

That's a good point. All right. Favorite three is Tough Man. I love. Damn. There's so many. I love. I mean, like, I love old noir. I love weird old. Like. I love Double Indemnity. Dude, that movie, I'm like, never even watched 40s. It's brilliant. I'm obsessed with it. It's just like, great dialogue and a great story. So that's one of them for sure. I mean, Pulp Fiction could be in there. I love that movie. It's just, like, so watchable. Maybe that'll be on my watchable one.

[Marty]

There you go.

[Sam Morril]

So, like, classics.

[Marty]

This is.

[Sam Morril]

Is tough, dude. God damn. I don't know.

[Marty]

It's Hard, huh?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. For like, best.

[Marty]

No, just ones that you are like. You know what? I think this is one of the best movies ever made. Those are the three favorites. And then three you watch all the time.

[Sam Morril]

I.

[Marty]

They fluctuate for me all the time.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Damn.

[Marty]

I mean, how I feel that day.

[Sam Morril]

Hard. Yeah, me too. It's hard to not put something with Nicholson in there because I just love. Love Jack Nicholson. So maybe Chinatown and One Flew the Cuckoo's Nest or some of those are so good.

[Marty]

Cookies is great.

[Sam Morril]

It's great.

[Marty]

Such a good movie.

[Sam Morril]

Movie. I also like. There's so many 90s movies, dude. Like, I could say like Goodfellas. I could say Boogie Nights. I could say, like, you know, like.

[Marty]

Boogie Nights, the one I was telling you about. When I watch. I just watched Good Girls again and Casino on the Plane. Joe Pesci is just the best piece of to ever live.

[Sam Morril]

I love him.

[Marty]

He's so good in Casino. What a piece of dude.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. I'm like, forgetting a lot of my favorites. Like, on the spot. I forget a lot of these, but those are like, all maybes. And then like, for, like, rewatchables, dude. I mean, you could easily feel like any Eddie Murphy or Adam Sandler. Like, there's so many, like Billy Madison, you know, it's one I watch all the time. I mean, dumb and dumber. If it's. I know the whole movie by heart. I mean, it's insane. The south park movie gets me bigger.

[Marty]

Longer on cut.

[Sam Morril]

That gets me good.

[Marty]

It's really good.

[Sam Morril]

It's so. I know every song.

[Marty]

Canada one uncle. All of them are so good. My friend works with them for south park and to see this new one that they're curating. They got it done an hour and a half before the show aired last week.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Guest/Producer]

Damn.

[Marty]

These are not playing, dude. They're waiting for something to happen. The news go put it in right now.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. No, they're amazing. I mean, so those are all like, you know.

[Marty]

So you like movies? If you can't tell me this answer, yes.

[Sam Morril]

Something About Mary is another comedy have we watched a million times.

[Marty]

So good. It just hit that band in the back. Are those the brothers Beverly?

[Sam Morril]

I love those guys. Beverly Hills Cop hits, you know, there's so many. Those are ones that, like, they're. I'm thinking movies. If they're on tv, I can't not watch. That's.

[Marty]

Oh. Ooh.

[Sam Morril]

You know, like the. You know, like, if it's. There's so actually have been a bunch on t. You Know, it's a random one, but it was on TV a lot, and I just, like. I can't not watch. It was on this movie called the Fabulous Baker Boys with Jeff Bridges and Michelle Pfeiffer. It's just fucking great. It's just a great movie about, like, the road. They're a traveling band. It's great. And then they fall for each other. It's a great movie.

[Marty]

T1 Food. Thanks for everything. I watch that love.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, I know it's not politically correct, but I fucking love Woody Allen. I'm sorry. I mean, I love. Hey, man.

[Marty]

A lot of people, their daughters.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude, Wayne Fetterman's got the best joke about it. He goes, woody Allen's my hero. All these years and still married to the same daughter. It's a great one.

[Marty]

He should be out guessing bullets.

[Sam Morril]

Bullets on over Broadway. Just hits me. That's such a funny movie, I think.

[Marty]

Never seen it.

[Sam Morril]

Chaz Palminteri and Woody Allen and John Cusack. It's. Woody Allen directed it. John Cusack. It's great.

[Marty]

Gross. Point blank. Do you like?

[Sam Morril]

Great movie. Yeah.

[Marty]

Let's go.

[Sam Morril]

Great soundtrack, dude.

[Marty]

Jeremy Pivot's so good in that movie.

[Sam Morril]

The 90s hit with a six soundtrack. Yeah.

[Marty]

Somebody that. Of that age of era was like, these are the songs that we should be playing.

[Sam Morril]

It's like the Clash and the Violent Femmes. All these, like, great Pulp Fiction soundtrack.

[Marty]

Alan Penns just played here, and I missed it.

[Sam Morril]

I love. I love Jackie Brown, dude. I love LA Confidential. All those 90s movies. You ever see A Simple Plan? That one hits, dude.

[Marty]

Simple Plan? With who?

[Sam Morril]

Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton. It's a great movie. Great movie.

[Marty]

You like Maximum Overdrive?

[Sam Morril]

What's that?

[Marty]

Go have fun with Emilio ESTEVEZ in, like, really 85.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Marty]

It's where every electronic becomes alive and tries to kill humans. Is the goofiest, most fun.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa.

[Marty]

A baseball kid gets.

[Sam Morril]

You know what? I can't. It was on tv. I did see some of this with the robots in the mall. It's always, yeah, yeah, I did see some of this.

[Marty]

All right. There's so many. All right.

[Sam Morril]

I could go on for hours, dude. I mean, I really. Because I watch movies constantly. And I love. I love, like. I love old movies. I love when a script lasts, like, the test of time. And you're like, that's why I love Double Indemnity or Out of the Past from, like, the 40s. Because I'm like, oh, these were just so good that they're still good to write a script that lives for almost 100, dude. I mean, like, the 40s. I mean, it's almost 100 years old. And then another one I love from that era is. You ever heard of this movie called the Big Heat? With. It's amazing. It's about this cop who's reckless, and he's trying to take down these bad guys.

[Marty]

You mean the movie Heat?

[Sam Morril]

Heat is a great movie. It sounds just like the movie. But it's. But it's crazy in that. Here's where it's different. I'm not giving anything away because this happens, like, the first few minutes in 1940.

[Marty]

I'm not gonna. Spoiler alert.

[Sam Morril]

It's. But it's his. These. These gangsters kill his wife. And he is like. Now he's like, oh, you. I'm going. He becomes, like, unhinged to get revenge. It's amazing. I made everyone watch it on the tour bus, and they were like, you. It's from the 50s. And I was like, just watch it. And then by the end, they were all like, this is incredible. It's great. But, yeah, I love that. Yeah, I like. I like that a lot. That's a great movie. Kubrick, man. But 90s heat is sick. I love Heat.

[Marty]

We watched it recently.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, you know what I love? Dog Day Afternoon. That might be in the top. That's like. That hits on every level. It's funny, it's weird, it's entertaining, it's sad. It's great. I love it.

[Marty]

You ever watch Mean Streets?

[Sam Morril]

Yes. Scorsese's like, first.

[Marty]

Isn't that weird?

[Sam Morril]

That.

[Marty]

What's it. What's it. What's his name again? The guy from Sister act that's also in that movie. The Italian dude. And in Mean street, she's the main character. Harvey Keitel. I want. Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

I think he's Jewish.

[Marty]

I'm saying he always plays an Italian guy. I don't know.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but Sandler calls him Jewish in the Hanukkah song. I think he's Jewish. That's the only way I know.

[Marty]

He might be. I don't know. I know a lot of stupid things from quotes of movies. Like, no, that's not true. Because in south park, they said that it comes from here. It's really sad.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, however you learn, man.

[Marty]

But did you notice that in that movie, Robert De Niro is the side character that's like, not the man? And Harvey Cartel is the standout.

[Sam Morril]

Harvey God does a great act.

[Marty]

He's a great act. But what A switch from, like, two years later. All right, I'll be in Godfather it. And he's been the man for 55.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but you know who else in that movie is that guy? David Proval from. From Sopranos. Richie April.

[Marty]

I don't remember him in that.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's like. Is in the beginning. It's Richie April.

[Marty]

I don't know his name.

[Sam Morril]

Most hateable character on the Sopranos.

[Marty]

You never saw Sopranos, of course. I'm just trying to think of. I've watched it, but hey, man, a lot of those names start to mix after a while.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Sam Morril]

No, I get it when you watch. I mean, Scorsese is the best, dude. I mean, I. Taxi Driver, I just rewatched. I just rewatched Taxi Driver and Raging Bull recently. They're all the best.

[Marty]

Raging Bull pissed me off.

[Sam Morril]

Why?

[Marty]

I remember I was like 9, and I don't get my mom like, oh.

[Sam Morril]

You'Re too kidding me.

[Marty]

No, my mom was not. I was watching all this. Like, it's not good.

[Sam Morril]

You're a cinephile, man.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah, dude. Like I said, cable guy. Like, hey, I'm gonna go do sit here.

[Sam Morril]

You know what pisses me off about Raging Bull is his rock bottom is becoming a comedian.

[Marty]

No, that was his low point is.

[Sam Morril]

Like, he's like a drunk, and he's like, I'll tell jokes in a bar. And we're like, oh, so we're your. It's like when porn stars start getting. Doing stand up. And we're like, oh, thanks. The check ran out. You decided to be one of us. All right.

[Marty]

It just pissed me off. He just became a loser at the end. Yeah, it's a real story build up. No, I was.

[Sam Morril]

I don't think. I think that boxer. I don't think that real life Jake LaMotta like that story.

[Marty]

No, it's pissed me off this whole time. I watched this movie, mom, and this is the end. Like, the end of Goodfellows. The first time couldn't. I was so.

[Sam Morril]

Because when you're young, you expect things to be like a formula. And when you get a great filmmaker, he's like, oh, I'm not there. I'm doing my thing.

[Marty]

Oh, it bugged you.

[Sam Morril]

But you want, like, a happy ending as a kid. So the first time you see that shit, you're like, wait, what? Like at the end of One Flow, the Cuckoo's Nest, I was like, he fucking dies.

[Marty]

Dies.

[Sam Morril]

But then. But then you're like, wow, I guess you could do that like, it's kind of cool once you start thinking critically. You're like, oh my God, a movie. A movie could fuck you up. That's so cool. Like happy endings are like a Hollywood ending they call. Right. Like that's cool. But then when that hits you like, holy shit. That's kind of. That's kind of sweet.

[Marty]

Did you watch Always Sunny Ever?

[Sam Morril]

I love it. Yeah.

[Marty]

Remember the one flow of the Cuckoo's Nest episode?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, a little bit. Oh yeah.

[Marty]

Four of the same people, like a chief was in there. The. The.

[Sam Morril]

Well, because Danny DeVito is actually in it.

[Marty]

Yeah, he's in it. He's the kid playing checkers. Yeah. It's just crazy. It's like 50 years later they brought these guys back and the nurse, the head, that. That ass.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Louise Fletcher.

[Marty]

Oh yeah, you know her name.

[Sam Morril]

I remember watching with a. A girlfriend once.

[Marty]

Once.

[Sam Morril]

And she was like, I feel bad for her. And I was like, that's your takeaway from the movie? She's awful. This is supposed to be an anti authoritarian piece where that. Where she's in charge. And. And Nicholson, sure, he says he a 15 year old in the beginning, but he's the good guy. He's the good guy. Fight the power chaos. The 70s anti authority they lobotomize. That is when you know that like as I said, movies could be like nuanced characters because literally in the first scene he's like, yeah, her beaver was. Wasn't fit for. Didn't look 15. You're like, oh boy, I guess this is our hero. But. But he's amazing. And dude, that movie also like taught me like I saw that so young that I was like, oh, this guy's like the, like a. He's like the comedian of the group. He's like the cool guy. You could be like a cool guy and make people laugh. And the scene where she's like, you. You don't get to watch the baseball game. She did. She rigs the vote. He gets all the votes to watch the base game. And she gets in. She's like, you lost because these other people didn't vote. And he. And he just decides to narrate the world series and everyone's listening and oh my God, I tear up every time I see that scene. It's fucking beautiful. Nicholson fucking rules.

[Marty]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

Passion movies. Fucking love movies.

[Marty]

That was my best friend. They've never let me down. They've always been there.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's like, you know, it's our escape. We need an escape. And when. And when you see people put that kind of work into it and build a beautiful world that we want to fucking live in, it's the best, right?

[Marty]

Pleasantville.

[Sam Morril]

That was a fun one. I like that movie.

[Marty]

Jeff Daniels is the man.

[Sam Morril]

He's great.

[Marty]

Jeff, Dan's a man.

[Sam Morril]

Great actor.

[Marty]

You know, some guy.

[Sam Morril]

You know what's a great movie with him? You ever see Something Wild?

[Marty]

Oh, wait, about the hunting?

[Sam Morril]

No, it's like him and Melanie Griffith and. And he's like a weird yuppie guy, and they end up just like, having this random affair and then he ends up running away from his life with her. And they. And he's like, wow, this is like. He's clearly the guy who's like, never taken a weird chance like that, but something is off about him. And she brings her. She brings him to her high school reunion just like they just met, but they're, like, hanging out and banging. She introduced them to her mom. And then Ray Liotta is at the high school reunion and it's her ex husband, and he just got out of jail and he's amazing. He's nuts in it. It's great. It's a. It's a weird. Same director as Silence of the Lambs. It's awesome. Oh, awesome movie.

[Marty]

Who directed Kate Fear?

[Sam Morril]

Scorsese.

[Marty]

Did he?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

I didn't know that.

[Sam Morril]

It's a remake.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah. The original one was like 40, 30 years before, right?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Robert Mitchum, he's in both.

[Marty]

Who does he play in the. In the.

[Sam Morril]

He's some old guy. In the new one, I forgot who he is. But that movie's fun as hell too.

[Marty]

That's a great movie. I love that movie, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's a rewatch.

[Marty]

How about five white guys? How about five black guys? Like, oh, I was a kid going, oh, my God. You just said. You admitted that this guy's the badass.

[Sam Morril]

He's gonna be bad. He's scary as. And that wasn't like De Niro's like, I'm gonna play a psycho in every.

[Marty]

Movie phase and get ripped for no reason.

[Sam Morril]

It was. It was scarier that he's ripped for sure. I mean, he's a scary.

[Marty]

He's a scary guy. But then he's shredded in, like, Raging Bull. Like, I don't want to fight you.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude, I'm good movies.

[Marty]

Yeah, I like that.

[Sam Morril]

You're like, what are your three favorite movies? I'm like, let's just talk movies for 40 minutes. All right?

[Marty]

It happens. This is what I do by myself. In my head they go, what are you doing? You drive.

[Sam Morril]

So watch, watch, watch. Something wild. It's good.

[Marty]

Something Wild.

[Sam Morril]

It's a weird one.

[Marty]

I want to take away a good movie. You see Jacob's Ladder?

[Sam Morril]

Never seen it. I know of it.

[Marty]

Oh wow. We watched it because Jake Johnson was on here and he has a movie. He based his movie. He's like, it's Jacob's Ladder in my head.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Jake Johansson. Old school.

[Marty]

No, Jake Johnson.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Jake Johnson. Jake showing spiderman. Did like 50 lettermans. He's a stand up.

[Marty]

Oh yeah, no, no, we had him.

[Sam Morril]

Jake Johnson. Okay.

[Marty]

He's a guy from New Girl.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I know his name.

[Marty]

Yeah, yeah, he's. He should put his self Reliance. Go watch that movie.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Marty]

He made a movie. He stars, direct. He did such a good job, I had to watch it again. And he's like, go watch. And I watch it that night. Jacob's Ladder with Tim Robbins in like 1985.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, wow.

[Marty]

It's about a guy comes back from Vietnam. It is the most mind movie you've ever.

[Sam Morril]

I gotta watch it. Yeah, I've heard of it.

[Marty]

Self Reliance Jacob.

[Sam Morril]

Great Tim Robbins movie. You ever see the Player? Robert Altman, incredible dude. Great. One of the best showbiz movies ever.

[Marty]

You like a lot of like those early 90, like Kevin Costner style movies. It feels like like a lot of Dances with Bulldrums.

[Sam Morril]

Great movie, great movie. I'm not a big Costner, but when he's great, he's great. Great actor. But what about the. I like Robert Allman movies too. I like like the 70s, man, 70s, a great period for movies.

[Marty]

Kramer versus Kramer is good.

[Sam Morril]

I love Kramer. It's another one. If you don't. You don't cry at the French toast scene. You're a piece of.

[Marty]

When I watched that, I went, mom, this is you. You're the. That's all I thought, like, why'd you show me this? You're the.

[Sam Morril]

She showed you to explain herself.

[Marty]

And then she was like, yeah, that's your dad. I'm like, he's the one.

[Sam Morril]

Trolls.

[Marty]

Now I get it. Don't come back later. Don't come back later. Trying to get back in. It's like in Blow, where Johnny Depp's mom comes back in Christmas. Don't be a. And then try to kill.

[Sam Morril]

Come back another. Another good soundtrack movie, some good tunes. And Blow.

[Marty]

I tried to. I trafficked some weeds because I watched Blow and I was a kid. I'm like, I could take it in the plane and I Can take it too.

[Sam Morril]

And you walked in slow mo to.

[Marty]

Black Betty with a. Wish I had a white turtleneck on.

[Sam Morril]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Marty]

I swear to God, I thought that when I walked in and they searched me.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. And what happened?

[Marty]

They didn't find it. They stopped in the last. Like, I had the layers under my blue checkered shirt. I remember, like, blue checkered shirt inside the double disc American Beauty vhs. I stuffed four zips in there, three zips. And they're like, come here to the side. I was 14.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my.

[Marty]

Idiot. Dude. My dad's like, you know, you'd be doing good, man. I'm glad I was leaving. Like, I'll be back. I was like, I'm gonna run. I'm gonna get arrested. And they stopped. They didn't search me. They searched it took everything out and just stopped. Like, are you good? And I was just like sitting there shaking and trying not to. You know when you. You're in trouble and you're trying to catch your breath.

[Sam Morril]

Death.

[Marty]

That was me in the line, just sitting there shaking. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, you shouldn't. Traffic. That's crazy.

[Marty]

Well, I mean, I was going. I'm an idiot. Going from Oregon to California with weed. Just buy it in California anyway. Blow did that to me. I thought I was the man.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Marty]

Didn't work. Last things before we get out of here. Last movies. I'll talk about World According to Garb.

[Sam Morril]

I literally just got told to see this movie and I haven't seen it. I hear it's amazing.

[Marty]

It's incredible.

[Sam Morril]

Love, John Lithgow.

[Marty]

Dude, John Lithgow plays a woman in this. I know, it's fun.

[Sam Morril]

I just saw her in an interview and talking about. I gotta watch my friend. Just tell me to watch it. I gotta watch it.

[Marty]

Or an accordion. Garbage.

[Sam Morril]

Love, Lithgow.

[Marty]

Dude, it's so good. It's such a good movie. That's where I learned to stay out of the ocean. So there's. I get catch a lesson from a lot of these stupid.

[Sam Morril]

I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna watch that movie because actually it's on my list and I heard it's very good.

[Marty]

Okay, so what did you say? Players.

[Sam Morril]

The player's really good.

[Marty]

The Players. I just want to watch something.

[Sam Morril]

That's Robert Allman. Yeah, I mean, Robert Allman. Just go through his whole catalog. He's a man. He made a movie called. I mean, you've heard of mash?

[Marty]

That's. Of course.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. California Split is cool. Long Goodbye. Nashville's incredible. It's a Musical. But it's incredible. It's like, I'm not like a huge musical guy, but when it hits, it hits.

[Marty]

Sgt. Peppers is a good musical. Yeah, I watched that. How about.

[Sam Morril]

How about all that Jazz? That's a musical that hits. I love it. I love that movie. Dark as all that Jazz.

[Marty]

And it's dark. That sounds awesome.

[Sam Morril]

Boy, Scheider from Jaws, dude, I didn't notice.

[Marty]

The guy from MASH is also Matlock. Until maclock. Till I was the old man, I was like a grown man. The guy from MASH is also in Matlock. Is he the same man?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Andy Griffith.

[Marty]

Andy Griffith.

[Sam Morril]

Mash, you think? Is he MASH the TV show? Not Mash.

[Marty]

The Mash, the TV show about army guys.

[Sam Morril]

Right. That was the. Alan Alda, I think.

[Marty]

I don't know. I thought it was the same man.

[Sam Morril]

No, he was in Andy Griffith was in this really good movie, though, called A Face in the Crowd from this.

[Marty]

So he's not the same guy as.

[Sam Morril]

Racist, I think you're thinking.

[Marty]

I really thought it was the same man. The whole. Like, when I was 18, I never.

[Sam Morril]

I never watched a TV show. Maybe he was on it, too. I don't know.

[Marty]

But I never. I just knew when Mashed the whistle starts, I changed. I just know.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Time. Football's over. It's Sunday and football's over. That's what I remember. Mash, I'm not down with. Dude, I couldn't. I couldn't get into it. It's the intro. I don't want to watch you whistle and walk.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it felt. It felt old, so. I know what you mean.

[Marty]

But I watched Sanford sun all day.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that was funny. As.

[Marty]

I think just. It's just funny things and.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that was a whistle, too.

[Marty]

Damn it. Yo. David Lucas's ass has a red fox tattoo this big on his leg.

[Guest/Producer]

That's right.

[Marty]

When I was with him the other day, I'm like, you have a red fox.

[Sam Morril]

Not a great decision.

[Marty]

It's just. What? You can't really see it.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Marty]

Because David Lucas is a black person with black ink on his leg. But I'm like, that is red fox, right? Yeah, it is. I just thought it was funny. Hey, don't get tattoos, man. Can't get them.

[Sam Morril]

Better be white.

[Marty]

Can't see him. Just gotta be white, man. Yeah, color doesn't take on people of color.

[Guest/Producer]

Make sure you don't got hella freckles either. Is that wolf?

[Marty]

Or it'll just look like an actual baby.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, you do have some tests.

[Marty]

He has an actual baby on his arm.

[Sam Morril]

Arm, really?

[Marty]

Yeah. So when he beats you up, it's all you see is a child.

[Guest/Producer]

It's crazy.

[Marty]

All right, all right. Let's get out here. I will talk about movies for four hours.

[Guest/Producer]

Appreciate you. Yeah, this comes out tomorrow.

[Marty]

This is errors tour.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude, I'll see you on the road.

[Marty]

October, Chicago, December. Carnegie Hall.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude.

[Guest/Producer]

Europe. All over the place. Samuel.

[Sam Morril]

Going hard, dude.

[Marty]

Yeah, we might be drunk when you guys.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I'm in Oklahoma City this weekend too. So if you live in Oklahoma City this weekend. Yeah, yeah, at the Bricktown Comedy Club.

[Marty]

There we go.

[Sam Morril]

And then. Yeah, I'm on the road like crazy. So just go to my website. The dates are up. Don't buy through these secondhand people.

[Marty]

What's the website?

[Sam Morril]

It's samuel.com, easy on tour. But you don't go to these. These secondhand websites are killing. I get messages, like I got. I got ripped off. I'm like, I tell you to buy at my site. You know, these fucking weird, you know, scam artists like Ticket Hub or whatever, some other party.

[Marty]

I don't know why you'd buy that anywhere, but. But someone's site.

[Guest/Producer]

Yeah, yeah, happens.

[Marty]

Okay, so zabril.com. that's it?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. S A M M O R R.

[Marty]

I L with the link in the description.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude.

[Marty]

All right, so Oklahoma City this weekend. And when do you drop. We might be drunk. When do you drop the episodes?

[Sam Morril]

Sunday night. So there's one out with Greg Fitzsimmons right now. It's fun. It's really funny. Really good app. Love, Greg.

[Marty]

Well, dude, this was fun. This is great.

[Sam Morril]

Appreciate with you guys. Yeah, thanks for having me.

[Marty]

Thanks for being here.

[Sam Morril]

This was dope as usual, dude.

[Marty]

Yeah, that's what happens. You don't smoke weed.

[Sam Morril]

You. Yeah.

[Marty]

Pick up on. Yeah, dude, I'll forget everything, so let's just slow down. Thank you for Marty for being here. Appreciate it. Thank you for being here. Nice to meet you guys. This has been dope as usual. Have a dope ass day.

[Sam Morril]

Perfect. Perfect. I perfect.