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Narrator/Announcer
Get this and get it straight. Crime is a sucker's road and those who travel it wind up in the gut of the prison of the grave. The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Commercial Announcer
The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective the
Narrator/Announcer
Adventures of the Saint, Starring Vincent Price. Bob Bailey in the exciting adventures of the man with the action packed expense account, America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar.
Host/Commentator
Hello and welcome to down these Mean Streets and more old time radio detectives and crime solvers. Every Sunday in May we're spotlighting a mystery writer whose works inspired old time radio detective dramas. And today's author had characters headlining some of the most popular mystery shows on the air. He's Dashiell Hammett, another founder of the hard boiled crime genre and whose works include definitive classics the Thin Man, Red Harvest, the Glass Key and perhaps most famously, the Maltese Falcon. Hammett's popular characters, privateized Sam Spade and husband and wife detective duo Nick and Nora Charles were first adapted for the big screen and in enormously popular films. Later they came to radio and weekly shows that won critical and audience acclaim. Unlike a lot of his contemporaries, Hammett even created a character expressly for the airwaves with Brad Runyon, a private eye known to friend and foe alike as the Fat Man. He too was a radio hit, so much so that he made the jump to movies in a film of his own. Despite his character shows being among the most popular on radio, even they weren't immune from communist paranoia and the fallout from the Red Scare. When Hammett was targeted by Congress and later sentenced to jail for contempt of court after he refused to provide information, he became too toxic. And the shows that bore his name, the Adventures of the Thin Man, Sam Spade and the Fat man, all left the air. Fortunately for us, we can still enjoy Mr. Hammett's stories and characters today. And he got the last laugh over his political prosecutors as the Maltese Falcon. The Thin man and his other stories will stand the test of time. Today we'll hear some of the radio. Today we'll hear some of the radio work inspired by Dashiell Hammett's stories. Beginning with the Thin Man, a recreation of the film with its stars William Powell and Myrna Loy reprising their roles of Nick and Nora Charles. This is from the June 8, 1936 broadcast of the Lux Radio Theater, followed by Two Sharp Knives, an adaptation of Hammett's small town murder mystery. This one aired on suspense on June 7th, 1945, and it starred John Payne, the friendly lawyer who defends Kris Kringle in Miracle on 34th Street. Then it's the debut adventure of the Fat man, starring J. Scott smart. It's the 1930s Pearl, and it originally aired on ABC on January 21, 1946. Next up is a radio adaptation of the film version of the Maltese Falcon from the anthology drama Academy Award. It originally aired on CBS on July 3, 1946, and it features stars Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor and Sydney Greenstreet. Finally, we'll hear another radio adventure of Sam Spade from his own series, a story that's elusive adaptation of Hammett's novel the Dane Curse. Howard Duff stars as Spade in the critical Author Caper from August 15, 1948. Our salute to Dashiell Hammett begins with the Thin man, and we'll hear it right after these messages.
Narrator/Announcer
Tonight there are more than 420,000 enthusiastic 1950 Ford owners, and it seems as though most of them are talking about this car. Listen to what Judge Richmond B. Keech of Washington, D.C. has to say about his new Ford. I was so satisfied with my 49 Ford that I decided to get a 50 as soon as they became available. I've been more than pleased with the 50. Truthfully, I see no cause to pay more when a Ford gives me all the performance, quality and comfort a man can ask for at such a reasonable price. The Ford is wonderfully easy to handle, particularly in traffic. Yes, ask any Ford owner how he feels about his big new Ford and he'll tell you it's tops for performance and for comfort. But prove it for yourself. Drop into your neighborhood Ford dealers and test drive this truly great car. You'll be amazed when you discover how little it costs to buy, to run and to maintain. Do it tomorrow. Test drive the big new 1950 Ford.
Commercial Announcer
A word of advice for those of you who suffer from acid indigestion, heartburn or gas.
Nora Charles
Do you know about the little white tablets in the little green pocket roll just awaiting for the moment when you need them to bring your acid indigestion under control? Chums are the little white tablets in the little pocket roll. Tums for the tummy T U M s bring relief quicker than you'd ever guess. Best for any kind of acid distress. Keep them handy in the pocket roll. Keep your tummy under tum control.
Commercial Announcer
The modern Tums formula has never been surpassed for effectiveness. Always carry Tums 10 cents. Three roll pack a quarter or get the new six roll Tums pack with free metal carrier only 49 cents.
Narrator/Announcer
Treat yourself often to refreshing, delicious Wrigley Spearmint Chewing Gum. There's lots of cooling, real mint flavor in every stick. And chewing Wrigley Spearmint helps keep you
Commercial Announcer
feeling fresh and alert.
Narrator/Announcer
You feel better, work better, get more fun out of doing things. So indoors, outdoors, wherever you go, keep some healthful, refreshing Wrigley Spearmint Chewing Gum handy to make every day more enjoyable.
Commercial Announcer
Treat yourself often to delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum.
Narrator/Announcer
I dedicate this program to the fight against crime. Not merely crimes of violence and crimes of dishonesty, but crimes of intolerance, discrimination and bad citizenship, crimes against America. Hollywood, California. Monday, June 8th. The Lux Radio Theater presented from its new home on Hollywood Boulevard, Hollywood, California. Lux presents Hollywood. Such great personalities as William Powell, Myrna Loy, W.S. van Dyke, the Debarah, James Seymour, Mina Gamble, Porter hall and many others will take part in this presentation sent to you by the makers of Luxe Toilet Soap, the beauty soap of the stars. Appearing before a distinguished Hollywood audience. Mr. Powell, Ms. Loy and a cast of 18 great players presents the play that has broken box office records from coast to to coast, the Thin Man. And as producer tonight we present the director who did the Thin man on the screen. Together with such triumphs as Naughty Marietta, Trader Horn, Rose Marie, I Live My Life and countless other smash hit pictures. Mr. W.S. van Dyke. Mr. Van Dyke. Hello everybody. Well, it's a great scene at the Lux Radio Theater tonight. In our audience we have Betty Davis, Jimmy Lucille Gleason, Bob Armstrong, Olie Olsen of Olson and Johnson, Stu Irwin, Jimmy Starr, famous communist, Evelyn Dennable, Mr. And Mrs. Leon Slushy Slinger. Maybe it would interest you a little inside information on the show we are doing tonight, the Thin man and about William Powell and Myrna Loy who are going to do it for you. As you know, the Thin man was a best selling novel by Dashiell Hammer, Hans Stromberg. Down at the studio, MGM got a hold of it and brought it to me. Woody said, if you'll make this picture, I'll buy the story. Well, I read it and while it was a good enough mystery stories, there was something else about the book that struck me. Here was something new and fresh and very charming. A romance between a man and his wife. It's a story of a couple of kids that understood each other and had a blessed confidence in each other. Beneath all the casualness and all the wise cracking, there's a lovely wholesome relationship. Something really Deep and sweet and inspiring. Well, we decided to make the picture. Albert Hackett and Francis Goodrich wrote a swell script. William Powell and Myrtle Loy played the parts and how they played them beautifully because Powell was just Powell and Loy was just Loy. Both of them wise cracking all the time and flounding right through the picture. I suppose you know that plenty of motion pictures take from two months to a year to shoot. We did the thin man in 16 days, retakes and all. Of course, it wasn't a pretentious picture. We didn't make it as one. I hate epics. But it is evident that people liked it. It has been very interesting to study out how they can tell this story on the radio. Bill and Myrna have had a lot of fun getting it ready for you just as they did making the picture. And from the original story, from the original motion picture cast, we have and are fortunate having Minagambo, Porta Hall, William Henry and Thomas Jackson here tonight. So here we go with William Powell and Nick Charles and Myrna Loy as Nora in the Thin Man. Here they come, Bill Powell and Myrtle. We're in a fashionable cafe Momart, New York City. It's Christmas Eve and the well appointed dining room is filling rapidly. From the bar comes a good looking young fellow, about 35, tall, casual and worldly wise. He's Nick Charles, the well known private detective played by William Powell. And he's waiting for his charming wife Nora, played by Myrna Lloyd. As he takes his place at the table, a young girl on the other side of the room recognizes him and hurries over.
Nora Charles
I beg your pardon, aren't you Mr. Nick Charles, the detective?
Narrator/Announcer
I. Yes, I'm Nick Charles.
Nora Charles
I thought I recognized you. My name is Dorothy Winan.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yes.
Commercial Announcer
How do you do?
Nora Charles
Do you mind if I sit down for a moment?
Narrator/Announcer
No, but I'm expecting my wife. A few minutes. You don't mind explaining her presence to her?
Nora Charles
Oh, of course. That's my fiance over there at the other table.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, well, that makes everything all right, doesn't it?
Sam Spade
Sit down.
Nora Charles
Thank you.
Narrator/Announcer
Your name is Dorothy Winant.
Nora Charles
I'm Clyde Wynant's daughter.
Narrator/Announcer
Clyde Wynant. Oh, of course. Your father was having some trouble about
Sam Spade
one of his inventions a few years ago.
Narrator/Announcer
I handled the case for him.
Nora Charles
I know that. That's why I want to speak to you now.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, well, I'm not practicing anymore, Ms. Winant. You see, I retired.
Nora Charles
Please, Mr. Child, I need you.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh. What seems to be the trouble?
Female Character (Various roles)
It's dead.
Nora Charles
He went Away about three months ago. And I haven't heard from him. Not a word. I'm worried this.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, I wouldn't have I with you. After all, he's an inventor. He gets an idea he wants to work on. It's only natural that he should hide away somewhere. He's done it before.
Nora Charles
Yes, but never for three months.
Narrator/Announcer
Did you see him before he left?
Nora Charles
No. Mr. McCauley was the only one he spoke to. Well, McCauley and Julia Wolf. She's Dad's secretary.
Narrator/Announcer
Julia Woolf. Yes, I believe I met that. McCauley is your father's lawyer, isn't he? Yes, his lawyer and his secretary both before he leaves. But no one knows where he went.
Nora Charles
He wouldn't tell them.
Narrator/Announcer
What about your mother? He wouldn't tell her either.
Nora Charles
No. Mother and dad aren't. They haven't seen each other for some time.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, I see. Well, I don't know just what I can do for you. Why don't you speak to McCauley? Maybe he's heard from your father and forgotten to let you know.
Nora Charles
Oh, well, I'll call him now.
Narrator/Announcer
Nasty girl. Let me know how it turns out, will you?
Nora Charles
Of course. I'll be back in a few minutes.
Narrator/Announcer
I'll be here. Madam, you can't bring that dog in here. Dogs aren't allowed. I'm sorry. I'll be here. Aster. Aster, come here, boy. Here. Down, boy. Madam, it isn't only your dog. If we allowed everyone.
Nora Charles
Oh, here you are, Asta.
Narrator/Announcer
Quiet, Aster, quiet. Hello, Nora. I hear you brought the dog.
Nora Charles
I didn't bring him. He brought me. I think the doorman's mad.
Narrator/Announcer
Madam, I'm afraid you'll have to take the dog outside. All right, Joe. It's my dog and my wife.
Nora Charles
You might have mentioned me first.
Narrator/Announcer
But, Mr. Charles, are you sure that. Of course I'm sure. He's well trained. He'll behave himself and nobody might bite someone. No, no.
Commercial Announcer
Only me, Joe.
Narrator/Announcer
He only bites me.
Nora Charles
Yes, he's fussy about what he eats.
Narrator/Announcer
Go ahead, Joe. I'll be responsible for it. Very well, sir, if you say so. There you are, my dear. See what an influential husband you've got.
Nora Charles
You do stand in the doorman, Mr. Charles?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yes, Dorothy.
Nora Charles
May I introduce my fiance, Andy Reid, Mr. Charles.
Narrator/Announcer
How do you do? How do you do, sir? Any luck, Dorothy?
Nora Charles
Yes, he's just around the corner.
Narrator/Announcer
Your father?
Nora Charles
No, no, Mr. McCall.
Narrator/Announcer
We're going to see him now. Oh, fine, fine.
Nora Charles
Oh, Nick.
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, my dear? Oh, I beg your pardon, Mrs. Why not? Mr. Reed, my wife.
Nora Charles
How do you do? How do you do? I'm sorry we have to rush, but you'll excuse us, Mr. Charles?
Narrator/Announcer
Of course. We're at the Normandy for a couple of weeks. Why don't you drop around?
Nora Charles
Thanks, we will.
Narrator/Announcer
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye.
Nora Charles
Goodbye. Pretty girl you like. Blonde you got tight.
Narrator/Announcer
Only you, darling. Lanky brunettes with wicked jaws.
Nora Charles
Who is she?
Narrator/Announcer
Dorothy Winan, daughter of Clyde Wynan. I worked on a case for her father. Some nut wanted to kill him.
Nora Charles
Charming. What's the matter now?
Narrator/Announcer
Wyman's disappeared. Dar's afraid something happened to him.
Nora Charles
Has anything happened to him?
Narrator/Announcer
My darling wife? How do I know? Funny, though. That secretary of his ought to know something.
Nora Charles
Secretaries usually do. Who is she?
Narrator/Announcer
Julia Wharfed. Smart girl, Julia. I always suspected she had some kind of hold on Winant and that's why he kept her on.
Nora Charles
Maybe you ought to give her a ring.
Narrator/Announcer
Of course.
Nora Charles
Oh, just to say hello, Maybe. Want a nickel?
Narrator/Announcer
No, no, no. I've got one. I'll be right back. Hello. I want skyler. 40962. No, skyler. That's right. All the time.
Nora Charles
Hello? Yes, you do. Both speaking. Who? Oh. Oh, hello, Mr. Charles. Yes.
Narrator/Announcer
What was it you wanted to.
Nora Charles
Oh. Oh, no, I don't. He didn't tell me. Not a word. I'm sorry. That's all right. Goodbye. Morelli.
Male Character (Various roles)
Coming.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, who was that? Nick Charles, the detective.
Nora Charles
He wanted to know where Wynan was.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yeah? Why?
Nora Charles
He didn't say.
Narrator/Announcer
Did anyone see Wynnet come here that night? The night you and him had the scrap?
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, no? Well, I guess I'll scrap.
Nora Charles
Wait a minute, Morelli. Where you going?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, taking a little stroll, that's all. If Nick Charles is gonna pop up around here, I want to be far away when he does.
Nora Charles
Ah, don't be a fool, Morelli.
Narrator/Announcer
Hey, listen, sister, I gotta recognition itching to come face to face with no dick.
Nora Charles
Sit down, Morelli. You need money, don't you?
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, what about it? You got some?
Nora Charles
Plenty. I'm Winan's secretary.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yeah? What do you mean by that?
Nora Charles
Wouldn't you like to know? Your friend Pierre serves good dinners. Next.
Narrator/Announcer
All right.
Nora Charles
You still didn't tell me what Julia Wolf had to say.
Narrator/Announcer
Nothing. She didn't know where he was. That's all finished.
Nora Charles
Finished.
Narrator/Announcer
Let's get out. We'll grab a cab, get back to
Nora Charles
hotel ready and willing. Where's my purse? Come on, Esther.
Narrator/Announcer
Joe, call me cabin.
Nora Charles
Hello. Hello. Asta, be quiet. Stop it. Hello. Yes? Who is it, miss? Oh, he is? I see. Thank you. Oh, nick.
Male Character (Various roles)
Yeah?
Nora Charles
It's Mr. McCauley. He's on his way up.
Narrator/Announcer
Macaulay. I wonder what he wants.
Nora Charles
Isn't he Wynan's lawyer?
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah.
Nora Charles
Maybe you got some news.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, he ought. Say, you're worrying an awful lot about this business. Forget it.
Nora Charles
I'll open it. I'm Mrs. Charles. Come in with me.
Narrator/Announcer
Hello, Macaulay. Hello, Charles. Well, how are you? Fine. Sit down. Thanks. Dorothy told me you were here. I took the liberty of coming to see you. Of course. Charles, what's Mimi up to? Mimi? Oh, Dorothy's mother. Does she have to be up to something? She usually is. Trying one way or another to get money out of Winet. I. I wanted to find out if you were sleuthing for her. I haven't been a detective four years. Don't say. Oh, my wife's father died and left her lumber mill and narrow gauge railroad and, oh, a couple of other things. I'm looking after them. I see, I see. What's all the fuss about? Is Wynnet in hiding? You know as much about it as I do. I haven't seen him in three months. He sends word through Julie Wolfe when he wants money. I give it to her and she
Nora Charles
gives it to him mine. Hello? Oh, just a moment, please. It's for you, Mr. McCallum. Your office.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, thank you. Hello? What? He is? Well, where is he? Oh, very well. Well, he's back in town.
Nora Charles
Mr. Winan?
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, thank heaven. He's waiting for me now. Well, I've got to rush. I'll tell you, it's no joke working for a man like that. Oh, goodbye, Mrs. Charles. Goodbye, Charles. Merry Christmas.
Nora Charles
Same to. 11:30. Almost Christmas, darling.
Narrator/Announcer
If that's a hint, you can drop it. You get your present at breakfast, not a minute before.
Nora Charles
Beast. You know, Nick, I've been thinking. It's funny the way Wyatt popped up all of a sudden.
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, wasn't it?
Nora Charles
You think there's anything behind it?
Narrator/Announcer
Why should it be?
Nora Charles
I don't know. It just strikes me as being funny, that's all. You're nearer than I am, darling.
Narrator/Announcer
Hello? Speaking. Oh, hello, Dorothy. What? What? When? Oh, I see. Oh, yes, of course I'll be here.
Nora Charles
What is it, darling? Tell me, what is it?
Narrator/Announcer
Julia Wolf has just been murdered. You are listening to William Powell on Myrna Loy and the story of the Thin man from the stage of the Lux Radio Theater in Hollywood Boulevard. Before we go on with the story of Nick and Nora, we want to Take you on a quick tour of Hollywood. Lobby of the Hotel Roosevelt, where stars and newcomers gather. A young actress just breaking into pictures is telling her friend of her success.
Nora Charles
Well, there's one thing. I've got one of the best managers in Hollywood. That means a lot. Oh, but the rules he's laid down for me. Gee, what do you mean, rules? Well, you'd think I was going into training for the Olympics. I've got to lose five pounds. I've got to take lessons in singing and diction. And of course, my complexion's got to be perfect. I've got to be more careful than ever not to get little blemishes or enlarged pores and what they call cosmetic skin. Thank goodness I know enough to use luxe toilet soap regularly the way everybody around here does.
Narrator/Announcer
9 out of 10 beautiful Hollywood screen stars use luxe toilet soap and have for years. Here's what the famous Claudette Colbert has to say. When I tell people how simple my complexion care is, they always seem surprised. I use cosmetics, of course, but I always use Lux toilet soap to guard against cosmetic skin. It's easy to keep skin lovely my way. And now on with the show of the Thin Man. An hour has gone by since Nick heard about the murder of Julia Wolf. In the living room of their suite of the hotel, Nick and Nora are listening to the radio. A news reporter is broadcasting the latest developments of the case. And here's the latest news of the Julia Wolf murder.
Sam Spade
The police have found out that the
Narrator/Announcer
beautiful mom secretary was a gangster girl is spreading the dragnet for Joe Morelli. Said to be hiding out somewhere in the city. In Paris today, the Chamber of Deputies.
Nora Charles
Never mind the Chamber of Deputies. Joe Morelli. That's what I want to know about. Well, did you get any more information out of headquarters?
Narrator/Announcer
As much as they had. Julia Wolf was shot and killed about 9 or 9:30. Body discovered on the floor of a living room a little after 11. Who discovered it? That'll surprise you. Mimi Winant.
Nora Charles
Dorothy's mother, Right. What was she doing there?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't know.
Nora Charles
Where's Clyde Wine?
Narrator/Announcer
Still missing.
Nora Charles
Missing? But McCauley was going to see him. They had an appointment.
Narrator/Announcer
I spoke to McCauley. Whiner never showed up. Nobody knows where he is.
Nora Charles
Going to be pretty tough on Dorothy, isn't it?
Narrator/Announcer
Meaning what?
Nora Charles
Meaning that it looks as if Clyde Wynant skipped one appointment in order to keep another with Julia Wolfe.
Narrator/Announcer
You think he killed her?
Nora Charles
It's just a guess. You're the detective around here, darling.
Narrator/Announcer
That's Dorothy said she wanted to see me. There. Come in, Dorothy.
Nora Charles
Thank you. Is there anyone here?
Narrator/Announcer
That's Nora. Have a seat.
Nora Charles
Hello, Dorothy. I'm. I'm sorry for breaking in on you like this. Oh, that's all right. We're used to it.
Narrator/Announcer
Anything wrong?
Nora Charles
Julia Woolf is dead.
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, we know that.
Nora Charles
Here's the gun she was shot with.
Narrator/Announcer
What are you trying to tell me? That you did it?
Nora Charles
Yes. I hated her. She kept me from seeing my father. I went down there to ask her where he was. She wouldn't tell me. I shot her.
Narrator/Announcer
Where did you hit her?
Nora Charles
Why, in the heart.
Narrator/Announcer
Pretty good shot you are. What did she do?
Nora Charles
She fell down.
Narrator/Announcer
Did she make any sound? Didn't scream?
Nora Charles
I don't know.
Narrator/Announcer
Which way did she fall?
Nora Charles
She fell over backwards.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yes. People fall toward a shot, you know. Not back from it. I knew you were lying. Come on, brace up. Where did you get this gun?
Nora Charles
I bought it in a pawn shop.
Narrator/Announcer
I thought so. Why did you say you did it? Whom are you trying to shield?
Nora Charles
Oh, please don't ask me.
Narrator/Announcer
You got to tell me.
Nora Charles
Nick, let me handle this, will you? Dorothy, look at me. Nick is trying to help you. Why don't you help him? You were trying to shield your mother, weren't you? No. Your father then, Dorothy? Yes, my father. Why'd you think he did it? Mother was the first one to find Julia Wolf. She saw something in Julia's hand and she took it. What was it? A watch chain. It belonged to my father. So you think your father did it? I don't know. I don't know. Did your mother turn the chain over to the police? No, she. She kept it. She didn't tell them anything about it. But she showed it to you? Yes.
Narrator/Announcer
Why did your mother go to Julia Wolf's apartment in the first place?
Nora Charles
She. She went to ask for money.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, money again, huh? Yes. Oh, Adam, come up, please.
Nora Charles
Who is it?
Narrator/Announcer
Dorothy? I wonder if you'd mind waiting in the bedroom.
Nora Charles
Of course.
Narrator/Announcer
The only minute.
Nora Charles
Well, Nick?
Narrator/Announcer
Mimi Wyman. Alone? She's never alone. Part of his brother is with a screwy college kid and some guy by the name of Chris Jorgensen.
Nora Charles
Jorgensen? Who's he?
Narrator/Announcer
Macaulay told me about him. A hanger on type. I think he's after Mimi's doe, but she hasn't any. Maybe that's why she wanted to get some from Junior. I'll take it. Hello, Nick.
Nora Charles
How are you?
Narrator/Announcer
Fine.
Nora Charles
In Mimi, thank you. Nick, this is my son, Gilbert.
Narrator/Announcer
How are you? Very well, thank you.
Nora Charles
And Mr. Chris Jorgenson. He's an old friend of mine.
Narrator/Announcer
How do you do? How do you do? Sit down, sit down. My wife, Mrs. W. Gilbert W. And Mr. Jorgensen.
Nora Charles
How do you do?
Narrator/Announcer
Well, Mimi.
Nora Charles
Nick, I have never been in such a state in my life. You know, of course, that I was the one who found Julia Wool. So we've heard. Oh, my dear, it was terrible. I walked in and there she was, lying dead on the floor.
Narrator/Announcer
I meant to ask you, Mother, was there much blood?
Nora Charles
Gilbert, don't be so morbid.
Narrator/Announcer
But I'm interested in murders. You know, Mr. Charles, I formed a theory about this one already. So in my opinion, the man who did it.
Nora Charles
Gilbert, be quiet. You don't know anything about it.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, but I do.
Nora Charles
Be quiet. You were saying, Mrs. Wynand, about finding Julia Wolf. I was simply petrified. And such a mystery. Clyde Winer's crazy. Absolutely crazy to stay away at a time like this. No wonder the police think he had something to do with it.
Narrator/Announcer
What do you think?
Nora Charles
Oh, I know he didn't, but I wish I could find him. I have something very important to tell him. McCauley won't help at all. He thinks I just want money.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, don't you?
Nora Charles
Oh, Nick, you're always teasing Mrs. Wyman. Were you alone when you found Julia Wolfe? Why, of course I was. Wasn't Mr. Jorgensen with you?
Narrator/Announcer
I? Certainly not. I don't know anything about it. The first word I had that Julia Wolf was dead was when Mrs. Wyman called me at my club.
Nora Charles
Oh, she called you?
Commercial Announcer
Yes.
Nora Charles
Why?
Narrator/Announcer
I beg your pardon?
Nora Charles
Oh, let's not even talk about it. The thing to do is to find Clyde, and that's what I've come to you for. Nick, you will help me find him, won't you?
Narrator/Announcer
I'm afraid I can't, Remy.
Nora Charles
Oh, Nick, please, please.
Narrator/Announcer
Now, Mimi, there are a thousand detectives in New York. Hire one of them.
Nora Charles
But Clyde knows you. All you have to do is to get in touch with him and tell him that Mimi says everything is all right, but that I've got to see him.
Narrator/Announcer
I tell you again, I don't want any part of it.
Nora Charles
Is that final? Well, if that's the way you feel,
Narrator/Announcer
you turn up, you just help all you can. Give the police every possible assistance.
Nora Charles
What you mean by that?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, nothing in particular.
Nora Charles
Oh, well, we'll say good night.
Narrator/Announcer
Good night. I'm sorry I can't help you, Mimi. Hello. Is this the Normandy Hotel? I want to speak to Mr. Charles. Yeah, Nick Charles. Hello, Mr. Charles. Say, I'm sorry I woke you up, but, Mr. Charles, I'd like to lay a proposition before you. It's about the murder of Julia Woolf. What's the difference who I am? Wait a minute. All right, wait a minute. Don't hang up. I'll tell you who I am, but you gotta keep it under your hat. I'm Al Nunheim. Yeah, Nunnheim. Now, listen, I know who murdered Julia Wolf, see? Sure I do. And I'll spill it to you for five grand. I'll tell you how I know. Because I was outside of her apartment when she was shot and I saw the one who did it. And I'll spill it to you when I get. Hey, wait a minute. Hey, I can't talk now. I'll call you again. Hello? Hello? Hello? Are you still there? Hello?
Nora Charles
Now what, though?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't know. On crank, I guess. He hung up. You better get back to bed and get some sleep.
Nora Charles
Nick? Nick, are you asleep?
Narrator/Announcer
Yes.
Nora Charles
Good. I want to talk to you.
Narrator/Announcer
That's jolly.
Nora Charles
Don't you think you'd like to go back to detecting once in a while? Just for the fun of it?
Narrator/Announcer
Can't you get to sleep?
Nora Charles
No. Everybody says you were a grand detective.
Narrator/Announcer
They were kidding you.
Nora Charles
I'd like to see you work tomorrow.
Narrator/Announcer
I'll buy you a whole lot of detective stories.
Nora Charles
Oh, that poor girl's in an awful spot.
Narrator/Announcer
There's nothing I can do to help her.
Nora Charles
She thinks you can. It wouldn't hurt you to find out if you could, would it?
Narrator/Announcer
Darling, My guess is that Wynant killed Julia and Dorothy knows it. And the police will catch him without my help. Now, please put out light. I'm tired.
Nora Charles
Oh, all right, but I'm mad at you.
Narrator/Announcer
Mm,
Nora Charles
thanks. Did you hear a knock?
Narrator/Announcer
Mm.
Nora Charles
Shut up, Aster. You want to answer it, Nick?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, good Lord.
Nora Charles
All right, stay in bed. I'll do it myself.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, Mr. Charles here?
Nora Charles
Yes.
Male Character (Various roles)
I gotta talk to him right away.
Narrator/Announcer
What about? What's going on? What's going on?
Nora Charles
There's someone to see you, Nick.
Narrator/Announcer
That's great. I was afraid I'd have to go to sleep. Come in. Yeah.
Nora Charles
How about a chair?
Narrator/Announcer
Stay where you are. Both here. I got you covered, so don't move a stick up. No, it ain't a stick up. I gotta talk to you, Mr. Charles. I want you to tell me something and I want you to give it to me straight. You get me? Do you mind putting that gun down? My wife doesn't care, but I'm a very nervous person. Thank you. All right. Shoot. I mean, what's on your mind? You don't need to tell me. You're tough. I heard about you. I'm Joe Morelli. I've never heard about you. I didn't bump off Julia. All right. You didn't. I haven't seen her in three months. We were all washed up. Why tell me? I wouldn't have any reason to hurt her. She was always on the up and up with me. But that dirty little rat Nunheim, well, he got sore because she liked me and hated him. So he put the finger on me. That's all right swell, brother. Only you're peddling your fish in the wrong market. I've had nothing to do with it. Now, listen. The boys used to say that you were okay, a square guy. Now, that's why I'm here. What's the law doing to me? Do they think I did it? Or is it just something else to pin on me? I tell you, if I knew.
Commercial Announcer
But I'm in.
Narrator/Announcer
I'm not in on this. Ask the police. Now, that'd be very smart. The boys would love to have me come in and ask questions. They'd like it right down to the end of their blackjacks. Now, I came to you on the level. The boys say you're on the level. Be on the level. I'm on the level. If I knew anything, I'd. Who's that? I don't know. This is your party. Open up. Open up. This is the police. The police. Dirty. Two time and I got not. Oh, give me that gun, you rabbit.
Nora Charles
I'll show you.
Narrator/Announcer
Drop that gun.
Inspector/Police Officer
Drop it.
Narrator/Announcer
You'll double cross me, will you? Come on, drop it. Give it to me. Give me the gun.
Nora Charles
Let me go. Let me go, I said.
Narrator/Announcer
I'll take that gun. Thanks, officer. You almost had me. Get some water, Joe. Nora, are you all right? Nora, I'm Inspector Gilbert, the homicide squad. You're in a good place, Inspector. Who's that woman on the floor? My wife. This guy Shooter? No, he tried to shoot me. I socked her on the jaw to get her out of the line of fire. I guess I hit her too hard. Nora. Oh, look at me. Nora. Are you all right, darling?
Nora Charles
Oh, you darn fool. You didn't have to knock me out. I knew you'd take him, but I wanted to see you do it.
Narrator/Announcer
She's all right. Okay, Slattering, take Morelli downstairs. How'd you people have to pop in? Inspector? We hear this is getting to be a sort of a meeting place for the Winant family. So we figured we'd stick around in case the old man himself shows up. Then we seen Morelli sneak in and we decided to come up. I was pretty lucky for you too. Yeah. Morelli a friend of yours? I never saw him before. What's he want of you? Wanted to tell him he didn't kill Julia Wolf. What's that to you? Nothing. What did he think it was to you? Ask him. I don't know. I'm asking you. Keep on asking. Oh, so you're gonna keep mum, huh? All right, Mr. Charles. I won't bother you tonight. But I'll be in tomorrow morning. And I'll plenty of things to ask. Good night.
Nora Charles
Thank you, Inspector Guild. Next time you come, try to stay longer. Nick, wake up. It's Christmas.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yeah.
Nora Charles
Look, here's a telegram for you. It just came.
Narrator/Announcer
Open it, will you? Probably a touch from somebody. Well, Nick, what is it?
Nora Charles
It's from Clyde Wyman. Listen, will you take charge of investigation on Julia Wolf murder? Communicate with Herbert McCauley. Clyde Wynt.
Narrator/Announcer
Where is it from?
Nora Charles
Philadelphia. Then he didn't do it, did he, Nick?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't know. Communicate with McCauley, huh? All right. We'll ask him up here this morning. There you are, McCauley. What do you think? He wants you to handle the case. Yes. Well, what are the chance of you doing it? Slim.
Nora Charles
Oh, please, Nick.
Narrator/Announcer
Quiet, dear. I Wish you would, Mr. Charles. Would it help any if I could persuade him to meet you? You might. I had word from one at myself last night. He gave me a code message to insert in the newspapers in case I wanted to get in touch with him. Wouldn't do any harm to put it in. I'm sure you could clear this up. Oh, why not? When only comes back, it doesn't look well. He's staying away at a time like this.
Nora Charles
Yes? Oh. Oh, just a minute. For you, Mr. McCauley. Police department.
Narrator/Announcer
Police department. Hello. Well? In Allentown? Yes. When's the next train? Right. I'll get that. Well, Wyman's tried to commit suicide. They're wanting me to go down and identify him. Well, I guess this changes the whole story, doesn't it? That looks like an admission of guilt. I had such hopes. I thought if you got on this case. Oh, well. Well, it's no use thinking about it now. Well, I'm sorry to have wasted so much of your time. You'll excuse me, won't you? Of course. Goodbye.
Sam Spade
Bye.
Nora Charles
Well, that's that. Let's finish. What's the Matter with you all the mystery's all gone. And I wanted you to find out who did it.
Narrator/Announcer
Maybe I will.
Nora Charles
But why not?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't believe he did it.
Nora Charles
Why don't you?
Narrator/Announcer
No reason, just hunch. But I'm going to find out. Come on, Dr. Watson, we're going places. I want to speak to Inspector Gills, Man to man. Mr. Charles, are you working on this case, man to man? Inspector Guild?
Nora Charles
I'm not, but he's interested.
Narrator/Announcer
I don't mind telling you, I'd rather have you in on the right side. You mean, not on the Wyman side. I'd rather have you working with us than against us. So would I. It's a bargain, then. Do you know about the case? I've read the papers. What about the suicide? Oh, that's a phony. The men didn't even have to go down. Yeah, I thought it might be. From now on, they're going to think that every thin man over six feet with white hair is Winan.
Nora Charles
Do you think that Winant did it?
Narrator/Announcer
Looks like he planned something. He shut up his apartment and his shop. But there's nothing yet to clinch it. 50 will get you a hundred that Winan didn't do it. Who's your candidate? I haven't got that far yet. I don't think that everything points to Wynant. What about the alibis? They're all okay. Mrs. Wynant, the boy, Dorothy McCauley, even Morelli. What about Jorgensen? Oh, I'll check on that. Well, I'm afraid this is kind of dull for you, Mrs. Charles.
Nora Charles
Dull? I'm sitting on the edge of my chair.
Narrator/Announcer
Frankly, I'm stunned. I don't know what to do next. What about you, Charles? Me? No, but I've got a hunch. What is it? I got a call last night. I thought it was from a crank, but I changed my mind. Whoever it was knew something and I've got a feeling I'll hear from him again. What time is it?
Nora Charles
Almost 10. Still waiting to hear from the crank, and how.
Narrator/Announcer
Here, give me that, quick. Hello? Yes. Yes, this is Nick Charles. Who? Can't hear you. I said I can't hear you. Have to speak louder. I can't speak any louder. Hey, this is Al Nunheim again. You know, I called you last night. Hey, listen, are you still interested in that proposition? Yeah. All right, then. Now, here's the dope and get this straight. The man who killed Julia woke it up.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What's this?
Narrator/Announcer
Girl, you think Wynant killed?
Inspector/Police Officer
Julia Wolf?
Narrator/Announcer
Anmanheim Right. Why? Two reasons. First off, Mimi Wynant came across with a watch chain she plucked off Julia's body. Oh, she did, huh? It belonged to Clyde Wynant. Yeah? What's the second reason? A pip. The bullet that killed Nunheim came from the same gun. That's all right, Inspector, all right. It's perfect. Clyde Wynant is guilty of both of these murders. Maybe, what, 50 will still get your hundred. I say Winet's innocent. You can say what you want, but I'm spreading a dragnet for that guy over every town in these United States. And I'll get him, too.
Sam Spade
Calling all cars.
Narrator/Announcer
Calling all cars.
Nora Charles
Cover all roads.
Narrator/Announcer
Leaving city. Pick up. Tight white and tall.
Commercial Announcer
Thin man.
Narrator/Announcer
Last seen wearing dark blue suit.
Nora Charles
You think they'll find him, Nick? He must be in New York.
Narrator/Announcer
Probably is.
Nora Charles
Oh, it's getting me down. I saw Dorothy today.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, What?
Nora Charles
She's broken off her engagement.
Narrator/Announcer
What for?
Nora Charles
Don't ask me. She was a little hysterical. Something about not wanting to ruin her fiance's life. Daughter of a murderer and all that.
Narrator/Announcer
Poor kid. Well, see you later, darling.
Nora Charles
Where do you think you're going?
Narrator/Announcer
I'm going to take Alice for a walk.
Nora Charles
He's just been for a walk.
Narrator/Announcer
We're going sightseeing, aren't we?
Nora Charles
Ask that Nick. What are you up to?
Narrator/Announcer
I've got a hunch I'm going down to look at Winan's shop. I want to find out why it's closed.
Nora Charles
Why shouldn't he close it? He went away.
Narrator/Announcer
He went away lots of times when I knew him, but he never closed his shop. I've got a hunt. Something's up.
Nora Charles
You mean he might be hiding there?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't know, but this thing's got my goat. I've got to find out.
Nora Charles
Nick. Nick, I won't have you going down there at this hour of the night. He's a crazy man. He might kill you.
Narrator/Announcer
It'll be all right. I've got Asta to protect me.
Nora Charles
All right, go on, go on. See if I care. But it's a dirty trick bringing me all the way to New York just to make me a widow.
Narrator/Announcer
You wouldn't be a widow long.
Nora Charles
You bet I wouldn't.
Narrator/Announcer
Not with all your money, you dog. Goodbye, darling.
Nora Charles
Nikki. Take care of yourself, won't you?
Narrator/Announcer
Sure I will.
Nora Charles
Don't say it that way. Say it as if you meant it.
Narrator/Announcer
Why, I believe the little woman cares.
Nora Charles
I don't care. I'm just used to you, that's all.
Narrator/Announcer
Sure. Come on, darling. Come On Aa. Go on, call.
Nora Charles
Goodbye. Call me darling, please. I'll be waiting to hear from you. Asa. Asa. If you let anything happen to him, you'll never wag that tail again.
Narrator/Announcer
You are listening to the Lux Radio Theater's production of the Thin man, starring William Powell and Myrna Loy, with the music under the direction of Louis silvers. This is W.S. van Dyke speaking. We have here tonight the man who wrote the great picture, Lawyer man, or Bill Powell. Here, he's a producer too, but just on the writing end. He's done many great pictures. 42nd street, the gold Diggers, King of burlesque and lots of others, including an original musical, Ladies in London, which you'll be seeing soon. And here he is, the man whose name you'll see on the screen before the picture starts, one of Hollywood's greatest picture writers, James Seymour. Thanks, Woody. I've been a movie writer for 10 years. That's the first kind word anybody has said to me. Listen, Jim. The average person thinks a movie writer is a fellow that sits by himself at a typewriter, hammers out a lot of dialogue and hands it in. Would you like to correct that impression? I certainly would. Nobody works alone and by himself. To make a picture, it's a matter of constant cooperation between producer, director, technician, actors and the writers. Some of the best story ideas come out of the conferences. Tim, how many writers would you say there are on an average picture? Plenty. Believe it or not, I've seen pictures where there were more writers than actors. If all the people who contributed to the story got screen credit would look like a page from the telephone directory. You're written on both the stage and screen. Jim, tell the folks how they're different. Well, pictures have less talk, but they tell more in less time. Like concentrated foods. All the good and none of the waste. In the theater, everything must be brought to the audience on the screen. You take your audience wherever the camera can go. And here's another important point that comes right back to your Lux radio theater. On the stage, the star just enters. But on the screen, she's introduced with a big close up. A picture of the star's face many times larger than life size. Every time a movie star's complexion is mentioned in this Lux radio theater, I think of those close ups. Those stars just have to be beautiful. And they found that luxe toilet soap helps them look. Their best producers know it too. And that's why it's the official soap in all the great studios in Hollywood. Right, Woody? Right on the nose, Jim. Thanks, for coming over. Thanks for asking me. Good night. Good night. We paused for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. The Thin Man, Nick is on his way to Clyde W's deserted laboratory in a dark and desolate section of the city. His cab veers sharply around the corner and pulls up in front of a gloomy old rickety building. Hey, mister, are you sure this is the place you wanted? Looks like it. Come on, Esther, jump. How much owe you? $1.20. Or do you want me to wait? No, never mind. Oh, that's good. You know, this ain't no neighborhood to be at 2 o' clock in the morning. I want to get out of here. There you are.
Joel Cairo
Thanks.
Nora Charles
Hello.
Narrator/Announcer
Come on, Esther. Come on, what's up, will you. Hello, Nora. What are you doing here?
Nora Charles
I beat you down. I want to go with you, Nick.
Narrator/Announcer
Now listen. No.
Nora Charles
You're not going in that place alone and that settles it. Now get out that skeleton key of yours and open that door. I'm here to stay.
Narrator/Announcer
All right. Come on past.
Nora Charles
D. Nice neighborhood, wine and picked out his laboratory. I can almost hear the change. Ratly, you believe in ghost? Nikki?
Narrator/Announcer
There we are. Come in. Be quiet, Nick.
Nora Charles
Dark in here.
Narrator/Announcer
I got a flashlight.
Nora Charles
We like.
Narrator/Announcer
Close the door, master. Shut up. Going over.
Nora Charles
Which way?
Narrator/Announcer
Straight ahead. Get the light out of the place.
Nora Charles
Looks awfully big to me. You can't even see into the corner.
Narrator/Announcer
Don't let the shadows right you. Whose fry. Hold it.
Nora Charles
What's the matter?
Narrator/Announcer
This looks like Wynant's work table.
Nora Charles
Like a slab in a morgue. Look, Nick, there's a cement store all around.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, probably a lot of weight goes on that table. Come on.
Nora Charles
Where to now?
Narrator/Announcer
There's an old desk over there on the wall. I want to take a look at it.
Nora Charles
What do you expect to find?
Narrator/Announcer
Darling, if I knew what I'd find, I wouldn't be.
Nora Charles
Nick, what's the.
Narrator/Announcer
Nick, there's some loose board.
Nora Charles
I guess it sounds like. Like somebody was walking over that way.
Narrator/Announcer
Just your imagination. There's no one in here but us.
Nora Charles
No.
Narrator/Announcer
What about wine?
Nora Charles
This is his workshop. Why couldn't he be hiding up? What's that?
Narrator/Announcer
Asta. Asta, come here. Scratching on the cement around the work table. Asta, stop it. Stop it. Did you hear what I said? Asa?
Nora Charles
Nick, look at him. He's out to something. I've seen him scratch the ground like that when he was looking for
Narrator/Announcer
Asta. Asta. Nora, look. Look at this new cement. Listen.
Nora Charles
Snake.
Narrator/Announcer
It's hollow. I wonder if I could find something to dig it up.
Nora Charles
There's an iron bar on the table. I just saw it.
Narrator/Announcer
Ah, good. Now I can snap a hole in that cement. We'll find out what's under there.
Nora Charles
Oh, Nick, I'm scared.
Narrator/Announcer
As to. Quiet. Keep away. Nora.
Female Character (Various roles)
As to.
Narrator/Announcer
Come here once more. There she goes. I'm through the cement. Asa, get away from there. Get away.
Nora Charles
Nick, what is it? What's he after?
Narrator/Announcer
We must get Inspector Gill here.
Nora Charles
What's under there?
Narrator/Announcer
A body. Must have been there for weeks.
Nora Charles
All week.
Narrator/Announcer
Wait a minute. Wait now. You reporters, you'll get your story as soon as I can give it to you. Until then, you gotta leave us alone. Come on, now, get out. Those reporters are enough to drive a guy nuts. Well, you were right, Nick. It was a body. A skeleton, rather. Buried in lime. I wonder what Wayne had against this one. Did you find any clothes? Yeah, but no identification on them. Just a silver belt buckle with the initials D.W.R. d.W.R? who's that? I got a good idea. That case you worked on, the guy who threatened to kill Wynant, what was his name? Oh, Rosewater. Yeah, Rosewater. He said Wynant tried to steal an invention, didn't he? Yes, but we figured it was just blackmail. Just the same, Wynant wouldn't mind having him out of the way. Woody. And according to the doc, the body's been there at least a couple of months. That's just about the time Wynant closed the shop. Right. Did you put the skeleton under the fluoroscope yet? Half an hour ago. We found the bullet he was killed with. And something in the leg bone. An old piece of shrapnel. Shrapnel? Yeah. Why? Shrapnel in the leg bone. He probably limped. What do you mean? Oh, nothing. Well, so long, inspector. I'm going to pick up my wife, take her home. It's been a long night.
Nora Charles
So long.
Narrator/Announcer
Give her my best, will you? Right.
Nora Charles
Where are we going, Nick?
Narrator/Announcer
Back to the hotel, my sweet. Pack our bags and take a nice trip somewhere.
Nora Charles
A trip? Oh, no, my soul, woman.
Narrator/Announcer
I gave you three murders and you aren't satisfied.
Nora Charles
I want you to stay and find one.
Narrator/Announcer
I did find it.
Nora Charles
What do you mean?
Narrator/Announcer
He was down in the shop.
Nora Charles
Me.
Narrator/Announcer
It was his body that was buried there.
Nora Charles
Winans body? Yeah, but they all said it was Rosewater.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, that's what they think.
Nora Charles
What makes you so sure it's Winan's body?
Narrator/Announcer
Several things. Clothes, for instance. They were carefully preserved. The body was just carefully destroyed. The person who killed him counted on One thing that all skeletons look alike.
Nora Charles
Well, don't they?
Narrator/Announcer
Sure. But I remember that Wynet had some shrapnel in his. They found it under the fluoroscope.
Nora Charles
How long has he been dead?
Narrator/Announcer
A couple of months. Anyway.
Nora Charles
Then he couldn't have committed those other murders.
Narrator/Announcer
Smart gal.
Nora Charles
Did Dorothy know?
Narrator/Announcer
No. Nobody but you. I didn't even tell Gil.
Nora Charles
Why not?
Narrator/Announcer
I want to lie low, like at the whole dope. I don't want to go off alcohol.
Nora Charles
What are you going to do?
Narrator/Announcer
I'm going to get the real murderer. I've got an idea. Want to see me take him?
Nora Charles
Yeah.
Narrator/Announcer
You got a nice evening dress?
Nora Charles
Oh, I've got a loon. What?
Narrator/Announcer
I'm going to have a party. A dinner party. Everything from Russian caviar to Camembert cheese. An orchestra behind the palms. Subdued lighting.
Nora Charles
What is this?
Narrator/Announcer
And I'm going to invite all of the suspects.
Nora Charles
The suspects? They won't come.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, they'll come. I'll have Gill issue the invitations.
Nora Charles
Nick, who's going to be there?
Narrator/Announcer
Everybody. You, me, Dorothy, our ex fiance.
Nora Charles
His name's Andy.
Narrator/Announcer
Right. Macaulay, Mimi, Gilbert, Jorgeson and Morelli.
Nora Charles
Oh, darling, what a lovely party.
Male Character (Various roles)
All right, we're shall begin.
Narrator/Announcer
Good evening, everybody.
Nora Charles
Mr. Dow, what is the meaning of this?
Narrator/Announcer
The meaning of what, Mimi?
Nora Charles
Why were we all rounded up like common criminals and brought to the sitter
Narrator/Announcer
to eat Mimi and talk. Will everyone please be seated? Dorothy, here.
Nora Charles
Thank you.
Narrator/Announcer
Andy, next to her, please. But Mr. Charles, please. Very well. Mimi, on the other side of Andy. Mr. Jorgson over there, please. Very kind, Mr. Charles. Not at all. Mr. McCauley, next, of course. Morelli. What? Right where you are.
Inspector/Police Officer
Now.
Narrator/Announcer
Say, listen. Sit down. And Gilbert, you can sit just opposite Mama. Mr. Charles, I have a theory. We'll listen to it later. Inspector Guild, you and your men will stand by by the door, please. Sure, fine. Now, Nora, if you'll sit here by me.
Nora Charles
Delighted, Mr. Charles.
Narrator/Announcer
Pleasure, Mrs. Charles. Now we're all ready to begin.
Nora Charles
Will you please pass the celery, Mrs. Wyer? No, I will not. I demand to know why we are here before dinner.
Narrator/Announcer
All right. I've got some important news. I've seen Wynan. Certainly. I mean it.
Nora Charles
That's nothing. I saw him myself.
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, Mimi? When?
Nora Charles
Last night. He came to see me in my apartment.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, did he? What did he say?
Nora Charles
He didn't say very much. He wanted to know how I was and how the children were.
Narrator/Announcer
I'm afraid you're lying, Mimi. You see, I really did see Wyman last Night. Are you kidding? No. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you hold him? Because I found out for certain that he didn't commit the murders. Wait a minute. Let him have his say. Thank you. Morelli. You knew Julia. Was she gipping Winant, taking dough on the sly? Well, she don't say she is, but I figure she is. Yeah. Thank you. Now I'll tell you why I know Wynnett didn't commit those murders. Three months ago, Wynant found out that Julia was cheating him and was splitting with some man. He went to find the man and he did. That man was desperate. He knew that he was caught dead to rights and at prison staring him in the face. He took the only way out. He killed Wynant. Oh, it's terrible to tell you this way, Dorothy, but your father's dead.
Nora Charles
Dead?
Narrator/Announcer
He's been dead for three months.
Nora Charles
Dead. Oh.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, darling. Oh, cry. I know. It's terrible, isn't it really? Better this way.
Nora Charles
Oh, Andy. Andy. You'd better take her home, Andy.
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, of course. Come on, darling.
Nora Charles
Let them out. Inspector.
Narrator/Announcer
Open up. Don't cry, darling, please. It'll be all right. Now.
Nora Charles
This is absurd. How can Clyde be dead? You said yourself you saw him last night.
Narrator/Announcer
So I did. I saw him lying buried in his shop. You mean that body was Wyman?
Nora Charles
Perfectly absurd.
Narrator/Announcer
And the murderer is right here in this room tonight. He's sitting at this table. What? Who is it? I don't know. But I thought if we all had a little get together, we might be able to find out. I'll tell you as much as I know. This murderer is a very clever man. He planned the whole thing beautifully. After he killed Wynant, he wired McCauley using Wynant's name and told him to shut up the shop. Then he took Wynant's body and buried it in the shop with another man's clothes to throw us off the track. Even put a belt buckle with an R on it, hoping that we'd think it was Rosewater, an old enemy of Winans who dropped out of sight years ago. Amorelli. Yeah? Would you mind holding your knife the other way? You're worrying, Gilbert. Oh, excuse me.
Nora Charles
If that knife is missing, I'll look for it in your back.
Narrator/Announcer
I'll help you look. Well, after our hero had killed Wynant, he got a brilliant idea. He realized that he and Julia could still collect money. Wynant was supposed to be on a trip. No one knew where. So our dinner guest wrote letters to McCauley signing Winant's name so that Macaulay would continue to send the money to Julia. Even telephone McCauley. Do you remember, Macaulay, the first day that you came to see me? He telephoned that he was in town. It must have been Winant. I should have known if it weren't his voice. Oh, he was clever about that. He called when you were out that same afternoon. Julia telephoned him. She said that you were coming, Mimi, to ask about line it. He got terrified. He was afraid that Julia would break down and tell. So he went to Julia and killed her. And left Winant's watch chain in her hand. I don't know.
Nora Charles
I hope you're well.
Narrator/Announcer
Quiet, please. His plan was still working beautifully. The only hitch was a man named Nunheim who had found out something. Oh, our hero bumped him off, too. But our hero overlooked just one item. The telegrams, wires and telephones were all very well, but no one had seen Wynant. So the murderer picked on poor Mimi here to strengthen his case. Mimi is the only one at this table who can tell us who the real murderer is. Mimi, who was it who told you to say you'd seen Wynant?
Nora Charles
Nobody told me. I did see him.
Narrator/Announcer
What did he pay you, Mimi, to stick to that story?
Nora Charles
It isn't a story, it's true. I did see Wynant. He's not dead.
Narrator/Announcer
You're lying, Mimi. But then you do anything for money. You're getting a good price for saying you saw Minot.
Nora Charles
I'm not going to stay here and be insulted.
Narrator/Announcer
Sit down. You're getting a good price, Mimi, but don't forget this. Two other people were in with him on this deal, Julia and Nunnheim. When he thought they might spill something, he bumped them off. You ought to know darn well that he's not going to take any chances on you. What do you want to do, be next on his list?
Nora Charles
No. No.
Narrator/Announcer
And who is he? Who paid you that money?
Nora Charles
Macaulay.
Narrator/Announcer
You dirty little. I think that'll hold him. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, what a wallet. Hey, nice work, Mr. Charles. There's your man. Inspector. Mr. McCauley. I can't believe it. What do you want me to do, wrap him up in cellophane? Pick him up and get him out of here. Come on, boys. Grab him. Let me get a handle. Let me get him.
Nora Charles
If you took him, I knew you would.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, another case like this and I'll develop into a prize fighter.
Nora Charles
Oh, yeah. Nikki, you're grand. You're glorious.
Narrator/Announcer
I bet you say that to all the boys. Well, that's that. The story of the Thin man with William Powell and Myrna Loy. I'm going to get them back out here in a minute to talk to you. As you know, these broadcasts from the Lux Radio Theater are quite an event in Hollywood. And among our many friends here tonight is one of the greatest stars of the silent pictures. I admired her from afar when she was doing such magnificent spectacles as Cleopatra. And I was just next to her today. She is the wife of one of our leading film directors. I've known her for many years as a most charming and gracious lady. And I want you to meet her now, Ms. Theda Barra.
Nora Charles
Thank you, Woody. Hollywood entertainment has certainly developed amazingly since I was making pictures. Yes, everything's different now, as you and I know. Before pictures grew up and started to talk, we had to translate all emotion into pantomime. Oh, you may think you have trouble today, but do you remember the difficulties we had working with a split screen? We had to express jealousy, hate, love or devotion or in pantomime. And at the same time, keep pace as the director guided us with a 1, 2, 3, 4. Just as a metronome guides a pianist,
Narrator/Announcer
pantomime has always been one of the greatest. And may I say, Ms. Bera, I have always thought that you were one of the greatest masters of that art.
Nora Charles
Oh, you're very kind, Woody. We worked awfully hard making those pictures. For instance, in making Cleopatra, we had no research department at the studio. I worked myself a month with the curator of Egyptology at the Metropolitan Museum in New York. It was great fun, though.
Narrator/Announcer
I understand, Ms. Barry, you're going to make some radio appearances.
Nora Charles
Yes, I am. And I'm also going to do some motion picture work.
Narrator/Announcer
That's good news.
Nora Charles
I'm considering an offer now, running through scripts and ideas. Oh, I just hope everyone will be as happy about another Cedar Barra picture as I am. The public has been very good to me in the past, and I know
Narrator/Announcer
they'll be awfully glad to see you again. I'm sure it'll be a great thrill, not only seeing you, but hearing your voice. Thanks, Ms. Barrett, for joining us tonight.
Nora Charles
I'm glad I could. Good night.
Narrator/Announcer
Hearing Theta Barrett talk of her plans brings to my mind some other plans I've heard discussed in Hollywood this week. Picture people are talking about Charlie Chaplin's recent statement that he will start work on a new picture very shortly. Ms. Paulette Goddard will be starred. Chaplin will write and direct, but will not act in it. A Disappointment to many of us. Barbara Stanwyck and Robert Taylor are starting a new picture today and I'm tickled to death that I got the job directing. It's called His Brother's Wife. Speaking of Bob Taylor, there's a lad who is going places. He's got a great future. And sometime in that future he's going to do Armand to Greta Garbo. Scammeel. Bill Powell and Myrna Loy here interested in the making of MGM's picture the Good Earth. Louise Rayner, who is with them in the Great Ziegfeld and Paul Muni of the Stars. And now Bill Powell and Myrna Loy are coming out on the stage. Arise, Bill. Myrna, You did a great show. You're really marvelous. What, no retakes?
Nora Charles
No, no. Property Man.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, Bill. I'll bet you're glad my Property man isn't here. Remember how he used to swat you with a broomstick when you weren't hurrying on the set fast enough? Yes, that Harry Alvis is a great fellow, but he's the most independent cuss in the whole picture business. Listen, Bill, that fellow was with me in the Arctic when we made Eskimo. He was with me in African Jungle when we made Trader Horn. And after a man has handled crocodiles, sharks, pythons and polar bears you can't expect him to be afraid of a mere actor. There's only one thing I can ever understand about that picture. Eskimo, Woody. How did they tell you from the polar bears?
Nora Charles
He wore rubbers.
Narrator/Announcer
I wore a hat.
Nora Charles
Must be pretty tough, Woody, when you have to plow through swamps, jungles, tropics and the Arctic. I suppose when you call up and say you're going on location, your wife says, oh, yes, location. Do you want the snowshoes or the snake bite medicine?
Narrator/Announcer
Unfortunately, she doesn't say that. When I say I'm going on location, she just says, you are not. Incidentally, I thought all about that traveling. I thought all about it when the Lux soap people asked me to do this broadcast. Isn't it funny? In the Arctic, soap is something they like to eat. In the tropics, they use soap for money. And here in Hollywood, soap is something that keeps the stars beautiful. I can see that keeps Myrna beautiful, Woody. But when are you going to start using that? Nice talk, nice talk. But I do use it. That. That's no kidding. Anyway, thanks for coming up, kids. Goodbye, Woody.
Nora Charles
Goodbye.
Narrator/Announcer
Bye. Bye. Before I tell you about next week's show, I'm going to ask our announcer, Mr. Roy, to tell you about more about the cast and about Hollywood studios who are cooperating with us, our cast of characters tonight. Nick, William Powell, Nora, Myrna Loy, Mimi Minigambo, Nicauli, Porter Hall, Dorothy Barbara Luddy, Gilbert, William Henry, Chris Jorgensen, Brett Morrison, Julia Wolf, Margaret Brayton, Inspector Guild, Thomas Jackson Morelli, Wally Mayer Nunheim, Ernie Adams. Our director, W.S. van Dyke. And our stars, William Powell and Myrna Loy appeared through courtesy of Metro golden mayor. As did Mr. William Henry and Porter hall. Through the courtesy of Paramount. The musical director of this program, Mr. Lewis Silvers, appears through the kindness of 20th Century Fox. And now here is your producer, Mr. W.S. van Dyke. Thanks to all of you in the cast. You did a swell job. Next week, ladies and gentlemen, the Lux Radio Theater is going to have a great show for you. And believe me, Al Jolson and Ruby Keeler are going to be here to appear in Burlesque. It was a smash hit on Broadway and then a great moving picture. And now it's going to make a marvelous radio vehicle for Al Jolson, Ruby Keeler. I think you'll like it. Mr. Cecil B. DeMille will return to the Lux Radio Theater in time to produce Burlesque. And you know he'll give you a great show. I've enjoyed being with you all and good night.
Nora Charles
It.
Narrator/Announcer
This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Roma Wines Announcer
Now the roma wine company of fresno, california presents.
Narrator/Announcer
Suspense.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Tonight, Roma Wines bring you a suspenseful play by dashiell Hammett called Two Sharp Knives and starring John Payne and Frank McHugh.
Roma Wines Announcer
Suspense is presented for your enjoyment by Roma Wines. That's R O M A R Roma Wines, those excellent California wines that can add so much pleasantness to the way you live. To your happiness in entertaining guests. To your enjoyment of everyday meals. Yes, right now a glassful would be very pleasant as Roma Wines bring you a remarkable tale of suspense.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
And with the drama called Two Sharp Knives and with the performances of Mr. John Payne as Scott Anderson and Mr. Frank McHugh as Wally Shane, Roma Wines hope indeed. To keep you in suspense, Shortly after 2:00am A poker game was breaking up at Ben Kamsley's. The doctor coroner of Deerwood City. Scott Anderson, Deerwood's efficient chief of police, and Wally Shane, his easygoing assistant, were
Narrator/Announcer
just about to leave. Talk about thieves.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Our own chief of police committed nothing less than larceny. The way he won that last part.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, and having won it, I noticed he's losing no time in making off with the swag.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Why don't you boys Just break down. Admit you don't know how to play like old Professor Scott here.
Narrator/Announcer
You couldn't win a poker hand if
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
it was on a punch board.
Narrator/Announcer
It's a good thing he's cheap.
Joel Cairo
Police.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Ah, come on, Wally. Let's get out of here before these amateurs break my heart.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Okay, Scott, Anything you say. Where are we heading for, Chief?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Just across the street, Wally. Railroad station.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shucks. Aren't you afraid of the excitement? Don't you think that watching the 211 come in does have to be too much for your blood pressure?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Well, if it is, Wally, you can always carry on. You've been a fair imitation of an assistant to me for some time now.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, yeah.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
If anything happens to me, you'd be chief. Don't worry. It won't be any harder for you to fool the public as chief. Hi, Elmer.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, howdy, Scotty. Well, hello, Wally boy. Hi, Elmer. Say, it's kind of late for you babes to be around, isn't it?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I don't know. We sort of figured we'd put the town to bed tonight.
Inspector/Police Officer
How's it?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
2:11 on time.
Nora Charles
Right on the nose, Wally.
Narrator/Announcer
Right on the nose. She ought to be blowing for the bend in just about three seconds now by gallons of food. Mrs.
Joel Cairo
Early?
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, sir. Now, why, are you expecting anyone on us, Scotty?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
No, Elmer, I'm not expecting anyone. Walter and I just thought we'd mosey over and watch her come in, that's all.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
You know, Elmer, you can never tell who might get off, though. Jesse James or Jack the Ripper or even your Aunt Gussie.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, I guess you're right, Wally.
Male Character (Various roles)
Wherever he should be.
Narrator/Announcer
Pardon me, Jim, but I gotta be rolling the wagon out to the baby store. Elmer, how's it going?
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, I can't complain.
Narrator/Announcer
I can't complain, Cap. Well, maybe you can, Elmer, but I sure can. You hold us up with that freight there. How much more? No, no, this. This is the last piece now. Well, there you are, Cap. It's all done. Okay. See you tomorrow, Elmer.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Look.
Narrator/Announcer
Look.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Hey, Scott, you see what I see?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You mean, do I see the man who just got off that train? The answer's yes.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, he's a ringer for the guy we got that circular about.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Uh, that is the guy.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, then what do we do now?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
We take him, Wally. Let's go.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Whatever you say, Scott. Here he comes over toward the taxi stand.
Narrator/Announcer
Driver, I want to go to the Dearwood Hotel. I. Oh, never mind.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I see the hotel sign just a few blocks down the street. Sorry, I'll walk.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Hello, Furman.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Hmm? Oh, I. I don't believe I.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You're Lester Furman, aren't you?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Yes, I am.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Philadelphia?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Uh, yes.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I'm Scott Anderson, Chief of police here in Deerwood, Iowa.
Male Character (Various roles)
What.
Narrator/Announcer
What's happened to her?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Happen to who?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, no, you don't.
Male Character (Various roles)
If you think you can pull that
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
sort of stuff with me, you're very much mistaken.
Inspector/Police Officer
Okay, Scott, you're silly.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Let me get a crack at that mug.
Narrator/Announcer
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, gentlemen.
Male Character (Various roles)
Hold it, Wally.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Hold it up. Well, Furman, I. I'm sorry.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
For a moment there I thought that you weren't really a policeman.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Thanks. Guess I look almost human in civvies until.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Until I saw the other gentleman's uniform. I thought you were a hold up man, Mr. Scott.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Never mind the thanks.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
It was silly of me. I'm sorry. Well, let's get going before anything else happens. Are. Are you taking me to police headquarters?
Narrator/Announcer
Mm, what for?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Philadelphia.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I. I don't think I understand you.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You understand you're wanted in Philadelphia, don't you?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I'm wanted in Philadelphia?
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Got a cigarette?
Joel Cairo
Huh?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, yes, of course you are. What am I wanted for?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Murder.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Here we are. Here's the circular on Lester Fuhrman. It was sent out by the Trans American Detective agency in Philadelphia. $1,500 reward for the arrest and conviction of Lester Fuhrman, alias Lloyd Fields, alias J.D. carpenter, for the murder of Paul Frank Dunlap in Philadelphia on December 8, 1942. Oh, no. Take a look at it.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Well, it's a lie. You're Furman, aren't you? Yes.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
The photograph reproduced in the circular is a picture of you, isn't it? Yes. Yes it is. But I can't understand
Narrator/Announcer
what we got here.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I got Lester Furman.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, that fella. Duck. You lucky stiffs. Now you and Wally spend a grand and a half reward though, Chief. I've never seen nothing like it. If it ain't vacations in New York at the city's expense, it's reward. Muller.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
George. Someday, if you don't remember you're the jailer around here and not the D.A. you're going to be wearing your teeth on the outside of your lip. And I'll be the guy who arranged it that way. You understand?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, just cause you caught a guy who's hot in Philadelphia, that's a lie. I never killed anybody. I won't be framed.
Inspector/Police Officer
I won't be framed.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shocks. Take it easy, Furman. Save it for the Philadelphia police. We're just holding you for them. If anything wrong, it's there, not here.
Narrator/Announcer
But, but it's not the police.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
It's the Trans American.
Narrator/Announcer
Det.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Mr. Anderson, I, I, I I suppose you're sure there's nothing I can do.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
There's nothing anyone can do till morning. All right, George, you take Furman now and lock him up.
Joel Cairo
Come along, darling.
Narrator/Announcer
We ain't had nobody in our little hooch car for three days running. You'll have it all to yourself, just like a Swede at the Ritz.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, good night and thank you.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Make him as comfortable as you can, George. If he wants anything set in okay.
Narrator/Announcer
He's valuable, huh? Now, if some bum didn't mean a nickel to you, maybe I ought to take a pillar off my own bed for him.
Male Character (Various roles)
And nuts.
Narrator/Announcer
He's just like the rest of them to me.
Male Character (Various roles)
Shut up.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Perhaps you forgot my remark about your teeth a while back. George. Any day now I'm gonna forget your uncle's county chairman and throw you back in the gutter just to see how high you'll bounce. Remember that. Do all the talking you want, but do what I tell you.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shuck, Scott. George don't mean nothing. He's just money mad.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Okay, okay. I'm going home now. If it's anything urgent, I can be reached there. But I don't want to be disturbed unless it's urgent. Hello? Hello, Scott?
Narrator/Announcer
This is Wally.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Yeah, Wally. Oh, what time is it?
Narrator/Announcer
It's great.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Five after six in the morning. And you'd better come right down.
Narrator/Announcer
Scott.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
That fellow Furman's hung himself.
Narrator/Announcer
What? Hung himself?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Yeah, by his belt from a window bar deader and a mackerel.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I'll be right in. Wally. Phone Ben Kemsley. Tell him I'll pick him up on the way down.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shucks. No doctor's gonna do Furman any good now.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Well, I won't have him hurt to have him looked at. You better phone the county court at Douglasville too, and file a routine report.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Already did that. And what's more, hold on to your seat. The D.A. is on the way over in person.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
The D.A. i'll be there before you hang up.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
For suspense, Roma Wines are bringing you with stars Mr. John Payne and Mr. Frank McHugh whom you've heard in the first act of Two Sharp Knives by Dashiell Hammett. Which is Roma Wines presentation tonight of the suspense.
Roma Wines Announcer
Between the acts of suspense. This is Truman Bradley for Roma Wines. Elsa Maxwell, famed hostess, makes this suggestion for added mealtime enjoyment.
Nora Charles
It's smart, yet simple to dress up
Female Character (Various roles)
ordinary meals for a festive note. Spread your table with a brightly colored
Nora Charles
cloth, a centerpiece heaped with fresh fruits
Female Character (Various roles)
and nuts, a basket of crispy brown hot rolls, and at each plate, a glistening glassful of golden Roma Sauternes, well chilled.
Roma Wines Announcer
A most welcome suggestion from Ms. Maxwell. And as you enjoy Roma California Sauterne, you'll be delighted with the flavorful delicacy of this truly distinguished table wine. Like all Roma wines, Roma Saturn is always unvaryingly good. The goodness of selected grapes picked at the peak of perfection in sunny California's choicest vineyards. Carefully pressed, the rich natural juices guided to perfection unhurriedly by the ancient wine skill of Roma's famed wineries. Good Roma wines never vary, are always enjoyable, yet cost only pennies a glass. Remember, because of uniformly fine quality at reasonable cost, more Americans enjoy Roma than any other wine. R O M A Roma wine and now, Roma wines.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Bring back to our soundstage John Payne as Scott Anderson, Deerwood City Chief of police. And Frank McHugh as Assistant Chief Wally Shane in Two Sharp Knives, a play well calculated to keep you in suspense.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Come on in, Chief. Good old ted Carroll. The DA's here and he's plenty hot under the collar.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
What's he burning about?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, he's just mad. He's run up quite a phone bill for us too. Been calling Philadelphia every couple of minutes since he got here. What kept you so long?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I couldn't get my car started. Well, let's go in. Hello, Ted.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Listen, Scott, what is all this?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, what this.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
This fiddley d. This hanky panky.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I suppose you mean Furman. Wasn't it suicide?
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Sure it was suicide. I just telephone Transamerica and dug a
Narrator/Announcer
guy out of bed there.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
They phoned me just a few minutes ago and said they'd never send out any circulars on Furman. They didn't want him for murder or anything else. All they knew about him was he used to be a client of theirs.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I don't know what to say, Ted.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
I don't either. What on earth kept you so long, Scott?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Car stall. Came as quick as I could. Well, what makes you so edgy, Ted?
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Oh, nothing, I guess. It's just the district attorney in me.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shucks, gents. If you're not careful, you're liable to give the impression that you two don't like each other.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Okay, okay, Wally. I'll quit if he will tell me what's wrong, Ted.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Well, there's plenty wrong, Scott. Everything's wrong. First, that trans American thing they Never sent out any circulars about Furman. And I'll get this. I talked to the Philly police just before you came in. There wasn't any Paul Frank Dunlap murder down there that they know about. They've got no unexplained murder for December 8, 1942. What did you get out of Furman before you let him hang himself?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Only, well, that he was innocent.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Well, didn't you grill him? Didn't you find out what he was doing in town, Wally?
Inspector/Police Officer
Didn't you?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shucks. What for? He admitted his name was Furman. The circular description fitted him. The photograph was him. Trans American Detective Agency. Supposed to be on the level. Philadelphia wanted Furman. We didn't.
Narrator/Announcer
But, Scott.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Oh, sure, Ted, sure. If I'd known he was gonna hang himself. But then if your aunt wore pants, she'd be your uncle. You said Furman had been a client of Transamerican. Then tell me what kind of a job they were doing for him.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
His wife left him a couple of years ago, and he had them hunting for. For five or six months. They never found her. They're sending a man up here tonight to look things over.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Yeah?
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
Yes, and I might as well tell you, Scott, they're going to raise plenty of trouble over this.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Yeah, Yeah, I know that, Ted. There usually is trouble when somebody dies in a jail cell. Chief Anderson? Yeah, yeah, Come in.
Narrator/Announcer
They told me I'd find you here. I'm Carl Rising, assistant manager of Transamerica Detective Agency in Philadelphia. This is Mr. Wheelock, who was Lester Furman's personal attorney.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
How do you do?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Glad to know you, Mr. Rising.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Mr. Wheelock.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
This is Wally Shane, my assistant.
Male Character (Various roles)
How are you?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
How do you do? I know you gentlemen are already in possession of most of the details concerning Mr. Furman from the time he arrived in Deerwood until the time of his death. But perhaps you don't know that the police of most towns in our corner of the state have also received copies of this reward circular.
Narrator/Announcer
Hmm.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Get it for him, will you, Wally?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Here you are.
Narrator/Announcer
Why, this circular is a forgery.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Wow. You're sure It's a forgery, Mr.
Female Character (Various roles)
Rising?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, yes, yes, there's no doubt about it.
Narrator/Announcer
And it's an excellent forgery. The paper style and type are almost exactly like those we use at Transamerica.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Almost, but not quite.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, what do you know? A forgery.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Tell me, Mr. Wheelock, was Mr. Furman a native Philadelphian?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, my, yes. He was well known, respectable, prosperous citizen of Philadelphia.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Married, wasn't he?
Narrator/Announcer
In 1934, he married a 22 year
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
old girl named Ethel Bryan, daughter of a Philadelphia family. And the Furmans had a child. Isn't that right, Mr. Whelan?
Male Character (Various roles)
Yes.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Born in 1936, but the child lived
Narrator/Announcer
only a few months.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Mrs. Furman's wife disappeared after the child's death. What year was it she disappeared?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Mr.
Narrator/Announcer
Rising should remember that his agency worked on that matter. Yes, I remember it very well. Mrs. Furman disappeared in 1937. We never heard anything of her again. Although Furman spent quite a lot of money trying to locate her.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Furman never divorced her, huh?
Narrator/Announcer
No, sir. Should say not. He was very much in love with her.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
And he seemed to think that the
Narrator/Announcer
kids dying made her a little screwy so that she didn't know what she was doing. That's right, isn't it, Mr. Wheelock? Well, that is my belief, Mr. Rising.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You said Furman had money, Mr. Wheelock. How much did he have? And who gets it?
Narrator/Announcer
I should say his estate will amount to perhaps a half a million dollars left in its entirety to his wife.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
His wife, huh?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
That's quite a handy sum for anyone to have, huh, Wally?
Female Character (Various roles)
Yeah.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Tell me, do either of you know why Furman came to Deerwood?
Narrator/Announcer
No, I.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
No.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shucks. You were his attorney, Mr. Wheelock. Don't you know if he told his servants or his office, employers or someone why he came here?
Narrator/Announcer
I know of no one of whom he told. And I can't see that these questions of yours are getting us anywhere. Why do you persist in asking them?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Because, Mr. Wheelock, everything shows that somebody framed Furman into the Deerwood jail and that frame up drove him to suicide. Nothing shows anything else. And there has to be something else. A lot else.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, Chief, what are we doing now?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I'm going across the street to Fritz undertaking parlor. Maybe I'll find something else there.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
You find anything at the undertaking parlor, Scott?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
No, not much.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, I was over there myself just after you left, and I did.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You did what?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, I saw it.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Save it, Wally.
Narrator/Announcer
Come in. Hello.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Am I butting into anything here? Oh, shucks, no. You know the coroner's report is always welcome at a time like this, Doc.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
What's on your mind, Doc?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Well, is it all right to talk here? I mean, can anyone hear us?
Narrator/Announcer
No, no.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Go ahead, Tom.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Listen, Scott, two of those bruises showed. What bruises? Furman? Up under the hair. There were two bruises.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
But why didn't you tell me?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I am telling you, Scott. You weren't here when I made my examination. You were off chasing Some stick up hoodlums. This is the first time I've seen you since then.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
But why didn't you spill the stuff about Furman's bruises when you were testifying at the inquest?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Ben, I'm a friend of yours. Do I want to put you in a spot where people say you drove this fellow to suicide by third degreeing him? Too rough? Oh, shucks, Doc, you're nuts. How bad was Furman's head? Well, that didn't kill him, if that's what you mean. There's nothing the matter with this skull. Just a couple of bruises that nobody would notice unless they parted the hair.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
It killed him just the same. You and your friendship.
Male Character (Various roles)
That.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Hello? Yeah, Fritz. Couple of ladies.
Narrator/Announcer
Who are they?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Oh, okay, I'll wait.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I've got to run along now, Scott.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Okay, I'll see you later.
Narrator/Announcer
Right.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
It's Fritz at the Undertaking Parlor. Couple of ladies want to see Furman's body. He's going to ask why.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
That's what I was going to tell you, Scott. When I was over there, I saw.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Hello? Hello. Oh, are you one of the ladies who wants to see? You're Furman's wife, Mrs. Furman?
Narrator/Announcer
Hmm?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Oh, then by all means, Ms. Furman. Only when you're through over there, I want you to come over to my office. I've got some things I want to ask you. Right. What do you know about that Furman's wife?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
That's what I've been trying to tell you. I saw him. And one of them's Hotshot Randall, a babe with a record as long as your arm. She's one of that mob you had me working on in New York last summer.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
She know you?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Sure, but not by my right name. She thinks I'm a Detroit rum runner. No, no.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I mean, does she recognize you just now?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I don't think she saw me. Anyway, she didn't give me a tumble.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Okay, Wally, stick around a while, but stay out of sight. Maybe I'll be bringing these dolls back with me.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Whatever you say, Chief.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Come in.
Nora Charles
Chief Anderson?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
That's right. Mrs. Furman?
Nora Charles
Yes.
Female Character (Various roles)
This is my friend, Mrs. Crowder.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Mrs. Crowder thought your name was Randall.
Nora Charles
Why do you care, Chief?
Female Character (Various roles)
I'm not hurting your town any.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Okay, now, before anybody says anything, I want to tell you something. Furman didn't commit suicide. He was murdered.
Female Character (Various roles)
Murder? My husband murdered?
Nora Charles
We got alibis.
Female Character (Various roles)
We were in New York. We can prove it.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You're likely to get a chance. How'd your people happen to come down here?
Female Character (Various roles)
Murdered? Who's got a better right to come down here. She was still his wife, wasn't she? She's got a right to look out for her own interest, hasn't she?
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, that.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
That reminds me of something. Excuse me just a second. I gotta make a phone call in the next room.
Female Character (Various roles)
Take it easy now.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Hey, Hamill. Yeah, Chief? I want you to have someone get hold of that lawyer, Wheelock, before he leaves town, and tell him I want to see him. And is Wally around?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
No, he's not here.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
He said you told him to keep out of sight. I'll find him for you, though.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Right. Tell Wally I want him to go to New York tonight. Send Mason home to get some sleep. He'll have to take over Wally's night trick. Okay.
Nora Charles
Feeling better, honey?
Female Character (Various roles)
Now, Mr. Anderson, do you think I had. That I had anything to do with Lester's.
Nora Charles
With his death?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I don't know, Mrs. Furman. I know he was killed. I also know he left something like half a million dollars. Dollars.
Nora Charles
All right, Chief.
Female Character (Various roles)
Now don't be a clown. The kid here didn't have a thing to do with whatever you think happened. No, no, no. We read about Lester Freeman committing suicide in yesterday morning's paper, and about there
Nora Charles
being something funny about it.
Female Character (Various roles)
And I persuaded her she ought to come down to Deerwood, and that's all. Mr. Anderson, I wouldn't have done anything to hurt Lester. I left him because I wanted to leave him. But I wouldn't have done anything to him for money or anything else if I'd wanted money from him. All I'd had to do would been to just ask him for it.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
That's all.
Female Character (Various roles)
He used to put ads in the paper telling me if I wanted anything to let him know, but I never did. You can ask his lawyer, Mr. Wheelock. Anybody who knew anything about it can tell you that.
Nora Charles
Yeah, that's the truth, Chief.
Female Character (Various roles)
For years I've been telling Ethel she was a chump not to tap him, but she never would. I had a hard enough time getting her to come for her share. Now that he's dead and got nobody else to leave it to, I wouldn't have heard him.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Why did you leave him, then?
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, after the baby died, I just.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Excuse me.
Male Character (Various roles)
Oh, yeah.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Hamill.
Narrator/Announcer
Hmm?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You gave Wally the message? Yeah. I want him to go to New York tonight. Okay. Where is he?
Narrator/Announcer
Home.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
He is home. Okay, thanks. This circular is what got your husband on the jug, Mr. Furman. Did you ever see that picture before?
Female Character (Various roles)
No. Why? That. It can't be. It's a Snapshot I have. It's an enlargement of it.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Who else has one?
Female Character (Various roles)
Nobody that I know of. I don't think anybody else could have one.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Have you still got yours?
Female Character (Various roles)
Yes. I. I don't remember whether I've seen it recently. It's with some old papers and things. But I must have it.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Oh, Mrs. Furman, it's stuff like this that's got to be checked up. Neither one of us can dodge it. Now, there's two ways we can play.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Yes.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I can hold you here on suspicion till I've had time to check things up, or I can send one of my men back to New York with you for the checkup. I'm willing to do that if you'll speed things up by helping him while you can. And if you'll promise me you won't try any tricks.
Female Character (Various roles)
I promise. I'm as anxious as you are to track this down.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
All right.
Narrator/Announcer
All right.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
How'd you come down?
Nora Charles
We drove.
Female Character (Various roles)
That's my car. The big green one across the street.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Fine. Then my man can ride back with you. But no funny business.
Female Character (Various roles)
Funny Shumany. What do you expect her, huh?
Narrator/Announcer
Ho.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Send him in. Hello, Mr. Wheelock. Is this really Mrs. Furman?
Sam Spade
Yes, that's really her. All right.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Fine.
Narrator/Announcer
How do you do?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You wait here, Wheelock. I'll be back in a little while. Come on, girls.
Nora Charles
Where are we going?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
We're going to solemn murder, sister.
Female Character (Various roles)
Who lives here?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Wally Shane, my assistant. He's the man who's gonna drive you to New York tonight.
Narrator/Announcer
All right.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Here we are, Wally.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Who is it?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Scott. Wally.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh. Come in.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Ladies first.
Nora Charles
Harry. Harry.
Narrator/Announcer
Hello, Ethel.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You two know each other, huh?
Narrator/Announcer
Wow.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Shucks. We just sort of.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Don't reach for that gun, Wally. I've got you covered.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I guess you win, Scott.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
I guess I do. Why didn't you get out of town, Wally?
Nora Charles
No, it's Harry.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
You must have known when you saw these two women.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I did. But when Hamill phoned and said you were going to send me to New York, I figured I was getting a break. You fooled me plenty on that one, Scott.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Yeah. You gonna come along nice and quiet, Wally?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shucks, why not?
Narrator/Announcer
Okay.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
And I'm afraid I've got a set. Walasheen, I arrest you for the murder of Lester Furman. You comfortable in here, Wally?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Can't complain for a cell. Say, Scott.
Narrator/Announcer
Hmm?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
You didn't just stumble on all this, did you?
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Nope. Furman had to be murdered by a copper. Only a copper with no reward circle is well enough to make A good job of forging one. Only a copper, one of my coppers would be able to walk into Furman's cell, bang him across the head and string him up. When you told me you knew the Randall woman, well, there it was. What got you like this, Wally?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Oh, shucks. What gets most saps into jams? A yen for easy dough. I'm in New York, see Scott working on that Dutton job for you. Then I run into this Ethel Fuhrman and she goes for me like a house afire. Like her too. So that's dandy. But one night she tells me about how much dough her husband's got and how it would all come to her if. Well, I got to thinking.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Thinking what?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I think she's nuts enough about me to marry me. I still think she'd marry me if she didn't know I killed him. So anyway, I did it. I swiped that snapshot. I sent those Circlers out to a lot of places, you know. Not wanting to point too much to this one. And when I was ready, I phoned Furman and I told him to come to the Deerwood Hotel that night. And sometime before the next night, he'd hear from his wife, Ethel. I knew he'd fall for any trap that was baited with her. Oh, shucks. I guess I'm not as sharp as I thought I was.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
Maybe you are, Wally, but that doesn't always help old man Camsley. Ben's father used to have a saying. To a sharp knife comes a tough stake. I'm sorry. You did it, Wally. I always liked you.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I know you did. I was counting on that too, Scott, but. Oh, shucks.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
And so closes Two Sharp Knives in which Roma Wines have brought you John Payne and Frank McHugh as stars of tonight's study in suspense. Suspense is produced, edited and directed by William Speer.
Roma Wines Announcer
Before our stars return to the microphone, let me say a word for Roma Wines, the sponsor of suspense. Elsa Maxwell, noted authority on smart entertaining, has this suggestion.
Female Character (Various roles)
When the thermometer rises, it's time for cooling, refreshing drinks. Enjoy the taste thrill of frosty cold thirst quenching Roma refreshers. A Roma Sherry Cobbler is a gay and colorful drink. Simple to prepare with distinguished roma California Sherry.
Roma Wines Announcer
Ms. Maxwell has an excellent idea there. And America's smartest drink, the Roma Sherry Cobbler, takes but a jiffy to prepare. Here is how in a tall glass, dissolve 1/2 teaspoonful sugar and 2 tablespoons lemon juice. Half fill the glass with delicious Roma Sherry. Add ice to fill, stir well, and you have the most delightful summer refresher you've ever tasted. You know, June is the month of weddings and anniversaries. And a most distinguished way to honor this year's and yesteryear's June bride is by serving delicious Roma California champagne. Its delightful pale gold color, distinctive dryness tell you that here is a truly fine champagne. Roma champagne. No better way to say happy days ahead than with Roma champagne.
Wally Shane (Assistant Chief)
This is John Payne. I'm sure I speak for Mr. Maheu too, in saying how delighted we have been to be invited to appear on suspense. Before Mr. Maheu brings you a message from our government, I would like to pass along to you the billboard for next Thursday's half hour of Suspense. It will star that polished and sinister actor Clifton Webb in a radio play based on John Dixon Carr's novel the Burning Court. Okay, Frank, take over.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
The battle of the Pacific has moved into high gear. Our fighting men are doing more than their share in this big second half of our fight for victory. The current seventh war loan drive is an opportunity for you to do your share. The money you invest in war bonds now will increase in value, will be your ready cash for tomorrow. Buy those extra war bonds today.
Narrator/Announcer (Suspense)
John Payne will soon be seen in the 20th Century Fox Technicolor production the Dolly Sisters. Frank McHugh can soon be seen in state fair from the same studio next Thursday, same time, Mr. Clifton Webb will be your star of Susp
Roma Wines Announcer
presented by Roma Wines R O M A made in California for enjoyment throughout the world. This is cbs, the Columbia broadcasting System.
Narrator/Announcer
Something in the air? You bet. Excitement. There's four exciting new shows go on the air tonight, starting right now. ABC brings out its first Monday night surprise package labeled Dashiell Hammett's Fat Man. The fat man is the stalwart detective whose huge size doesn't slow up his progress a bit when it comes to sleuthing. And speaking of detectives, you'll want to meet hard talking Ross Dolan, played by William Gargan. His business is crime, in his words. I deal in crime. And he follows in half an hour. And then the dean of music makers, Paul Whiteman and his new show Forever Tops. The top tunes that will live forever. Paul Whiteman plays them on Forever Tops. And did you know that your top stage in the screen, laugh favorites Jimmy and Lucille Gleason have opened a diner. What? A diner. You see, that's what we meant when we said excitement in and on the air tonight and every Monday night on abc Right now. Let's Take a trip into adventure with Dashiell Hammet's Fat Man. Weight 247. Fortune danger.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Who is it?
Narrator/Announcer
The fat man. The American Broadcasting Company brings you Dashiell Hammett's latest and most fascinating character, the Fat Man. The hard boiled, hard hitting adventures of a criminologist who tips the scale at 247 pounds. Tonight's adventure, the 19th Pearl. And now, here is the Fat Man.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
One of the worst things about being fat is feeling thin. That extra load you carry around is something you never think about till you bump into a full length mirror or drop a penny into a drugstore scale. Even then you don't feel fat. The only time you really feel it is when you run into a beautiful woman. That's when the old collar kind of chokes you and your hands look big and your legs are hard to cross. That's when you're glad you've got a busy job like mine, solving crimes. This one began in Grand Central Station, right near the information center. My mother was going away for a weekend. I was there to put her on the train.
Nora Charles
You don't have to wait around till the gates open. Son. I've gotten untrained before.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
It's all right, ma'. Am.
Male Character (Various roles)
Ma.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
It's a free night for me anyway. Want some peanuts?
Female Character (Various roles)
For heaven's sake, No, I do.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Be right back.
Male Character (Various roles)
Bag.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Peanuts, Jenny.
Nora Charles
All right.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Better make it two.
Female Character (Various roles)
Here you are. Okay.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Sorry, sister, I didn't mean to bump into you.
Female Character (Various roles)
It's all right. I. I wasn't looking.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Where.
Female Character (Various roles)
Please, will you do me a favor? It's terribly important. Here, pull this bag for me. Oh, quick. He's coming.
Joel Cairo
Who?
Female Character (Various roles)
Don't let him see me. He mustn't know I'm here.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Why not? What have you done?
Female Character (Various roles)
Nothing. I. Stand in front of me, will you? Quick. Put your arms around me as if you were kissing me goodbye.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Say, what kind of a game is this?
Female Character (Various roles)
Please cover my face and kiss me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Okay, sister. How's this?
Female Character (Various roles)
Hold it.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
How long?
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, no, no, don't stop. Just keep your arms around me as
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
long as you say, baby. You know, I've heard about things like this, but I never figured it would happen to a guy like me.
Female Character (Various roles)
All right, that's enough.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I wish I thought so. We ought to do this more often.
Female Character (Various roles)
And I'll have to run now he's gone.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Maybe he'll be back.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, no, no. I mustn't miss the train. Thanks ever so much for helping.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you going to Tell me. But I don't even know. Okay, sister. Two ships that pass in the night.
Nora Charles
Well, that was a fond farewell.
Female Character (Various roles)
Who was it, dear?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I don't know.
Female Character (Various roles)
What?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Never saw her before in my life.
Female Character (Various roles)
Is that why you were kissing her?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Don't make a romance out of it, Ma. She just borrowed me for a quick hug and that's all there was to her.
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, I don't know that it's wise to kiss strange women in station. Son, have you still got your watch?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I've got more than my watch, Mom. I've still got her bag.
Female Character (Various roles)
But how do you know she's on this train, dear?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I saw her duck into the car ahead.
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, leave the bag with me. I'll give it to her as soon as we pull out of the station.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Are you kidding, son?
Female Character (Various roles)
We're going to start in a moment.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
It's all right. I'll ride up to 125th street just
Female Character (Various roles)
to give her back her bag.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That's a good enough reason.
Nora Charles
Well, be sure you get off at 125th Street.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, we're moving.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Okay, Mom. I'll take the bag up to her now.
Female Character (Various roles)
What's the matter?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That dame's on the platform. I'm getting off.
Female Character (Various roles)
Careful, son.
Nora Charles
Watch yourself.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Sure, sure. See you later.
Narrator/Announcer
Bye.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Good evening, beautiful.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, you frightened me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I didn't the last time. Want to play some more?
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't think so.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, don't go away. I still got your bag.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, well, thank you.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What's this all about, kid? Who'd you knock off?
Female Character (Various roles)
I beg your pardon?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You must have done something. Otherwise you wouldn't be running away.
Female Character (Various roles)
Why not? Can't I be running away from danger? There's a man following me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
The guy on that train.
Female Character (Various roles)
How did you know he was on it?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Simple arithmetic. You got on to give him the slip. He must have followed you, otherwise you wouldn't have got off.
Female Character (Various roles)
That's exactly what happened.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What else happened?
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know what you mean.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Come on, kid, tell me the truth or I won't help you.
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know that I want you to help me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Okay, sister, I'll walk right out of the picture.
Female Character (Various roles)
No, no, wait.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Changed your mind?
Female Character (Various roles)
No, a man who's been following me. Changed it, huh? He's standing right over there on the platform.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You'll be safe here, Ms. Evans.
Female Character (Various roles)
This your office?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Yeah. Step in.
Female Character (Various roles)
Thank you.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Sit down. Make yourself at home. Every chair in this place is comfortable.
Female Character (Various roles)
Have you sampled them all?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Everyone.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
There's one thing I hate. It's sitting on hard Wood. Have an apple, Ms. Evans.
Female Character (Various roles)
No, thanks.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Awful good.
Female Character (Various roles)
No, thanks.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, tell me now, how long has this guy been following you?
Female Character (Various roles)
About three days.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
And you don't know who he is or what he's after?
Female Character (Various roles)
No.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What do you do for a living, Miss Ever?
Female Character (Various roles)
I. I'm an actress.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
On the stage?
Female Character (Various roles)
When I'm working, maybe.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I've seen you.
Female Character (Various roles)
Not in New York. I haven't done anything here yet.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Rich Daddy?
Female Character (Various roles)
No. No daddy at all.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
And what keeps you in those gorgeous clothes?
Female Character (Various roles)
I have a private income. My father left me some money.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Those beautiful pearls, too.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, these aren't real.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Aren't they? Let me see them.
Female Character (Various roles)
Don't you believe me?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
No.
Female Character (Various roles)
Why not?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Because you're not very good. Liar.
Nora Charles
What?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Even experienced ones take a deep breath after every lie they tell. But you've been pumping away like an iron lung.
Female Character (Various roles)
How dare you talk to me like that.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Get out of here, Ms. Evans. I won't take your case.
Female Character (Various roles)
You won't get it, you insufferable man.
Narrator/Announcer
Keep going. Keep going.
Female Character (Various roles)
Going what?
Narrator/Announcer
Keep yelling at me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
There's someone outside the door.
Female Character (Various roles)
You overbearing, conceited pig.
Nora Charles
If I were a man, I'd give
Female Character (Various roles)
you the beating of your life.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That's enough. Well, what are you doing out here, mister?
Narrator/Announcer
Nothing. I was just. Hey, come back here, you.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You son of a gun. I'll make it much harder for you when I catch you. You going to stop your punk? Or do I have to die for you?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, you big apes.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I'm not as slow as I look.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, you didn't have to tackle me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I'm sorry, old man. It's my old football training. Can you get up?
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
I don't know.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
There you are. Now maybe you'll tell me what you were doing outside my door.
Narrator/Announcer
I was keeping an eye on Miss Evans.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Hmm. That's an interesting pastime. Come on back to the office and tell us why.
Narrator/Announcer
It's my job. I'm a private detective.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, well, who hired you?
Narrator/Announcer
Mrs. Stanton. Mrs. Jeffrey Stanton.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
The banker's wife?
Narrator/Announcer
Yes. She wants a record of every move Ms. Evans makes. Why, that's my business.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, maybe Ms. Evans has an interest in it. Ms. Evans. Ms. Evans, where are you?
Narrator/Announcer
What's the matter?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
He's gone.
Narrator/Announcer
A gentleman to see you, Mrs. Stanton.
Female Character (Various roles)
Who is it, Carl?
Narrator/Announcer
He refused to give me his card, madam. He simply said the fat man is calling.
Female Character (Various roles)
Fat man? What do you suppose he wants?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Some information, Mrs. Stanton.
Female Character (Various roles)
Good heavens. What do you mean by coming in here unannounced?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
But I was announced. I'm The Fat Man.
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, I've never had the pleasure of meeting you, and I certainly don't intend to do so now. Show him out, Carl.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I don't think Carl is man enough, Mrs. Stanton. You'd better let me stay.
Female Character (Various roles)
What do you want?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Some information about Miss Evans. I couldn't get a thing out of that clam you had following her.
Female Character (Various roles)
What clam? What are you talking about? About.
Narrator/Announcer
Shall I call the police, Mrs. Stanton?
Female Character (Various roles)
No, no, I can manage this call.
Narrator/Announcer
Very well, madam.
Female Character (Various roles)
Now then, what were you saying, mister? Don't believe you mentioned the name.
Narrator/Announcer
I didn't.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
People remember me better as the Fat Man. Oh.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, I know who you are now. Mr. Parker told me about you.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Parker?
Female Character (Various roles)
The man you very nearly killed in the hall outside your office. You fell on him like a ton of bricks.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
He had no right listening outside my door. Did you really hire him to follow Ms. Evans?
Female Character (Various roles)
I did.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
May I ask why?
Female Character (Various roles)
You shouldn't have to. I thought everybody knew I was anxious to divorce my husband. Ms. Evans is just one of the grounds. One, the only one I'll need. You see, Mr. Stanton made the mistake of giving her a necklace.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What?
Female Character (Various roles)
Quite an expensive one, in fact.
Narrator/Announcer
Matched pearls, I see.
Female Character (Various roles)
You seem disappointed.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
In Mr. Stanton?
Female Character (Various roles)
No, in Ms. Evans. You're not a friend of hers, I hope.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Are you sure he gave her that necklace, Mrs. Stanton?
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, I believe it was a gift. I've never inquired. I don't really care to know how these arrangements are worked out.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
In other words, your husband and Ms. Evans.
Nora Charles
Not.
Female Character (Various roles)
Put it into words, if you don't mind. There'll be enough of that when the case comes up in court.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
When the case comes up, Mrs. Stanton, you'll have to prove it. And right now, your star witness, Ms. Evans, is missing.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, not really missing. Unless something's happened to her.
Narrator/Announcer
What?
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know. Frankly, I don't really care. Park will find her sooner or later.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Where?
Female Character (Various roles)
Probably at my husband's apartment.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Doesn't he live here?
Female Character (Various roles)
No, not regularly.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, after meeting you, Mrs. Stanton, I can't say I blame him. Mr. Stanton in?
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah, he's in.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
O'.
Narrator/Announcer
Hara.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What are you doing here, Captain?
Narrator/Announcer
Come on in. I'm waiting for the medical examiner.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Oh. Who's dead?
Narrator/Announcer
Who do you think? Stanton lived here all alone.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
He might have had company.
Narrator/Announcer
He did, a little earlier. There's a knife in his chest.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Who put it there?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't know. The murderer didn't leave his card. See the body?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You might as well. Where is it?
Narrator/Announcer
Right over there in the corner. And Leave those chocolate covered almonds alone. Place hasn't been gone over yet.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
When did all this happen?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't know yet. I just got here a few minutes
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
ago, and the body was right where it is now.
Narrator/Announcer
I'm sure it hasn't moved.
Female Character (Various roles)
Mm.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
It's funny, isn't it?
Male Character (Various roles)
What?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
How a guy gets stabbed in the chest without putting up any kind of a fight. No sign of a struggle around here.
Narrator/Announcer
So what?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Nothing. Just don't like it, that's all.
Narrator/Announcer
Why not?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Cause the usual place for a knife is in the back. The chest. You see it coming, you got a chance to protect yourself.
Narrator/Announcer
Not if you trust the person that's coming at you. Not if she's your sweetheart or something like that. Then you don't see the knife till it's too late.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What makes you think it's a sweetheart?
Narrator/Announcer
I don't. I don't even know if the man had one.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, then stop putting a noose around her neck.
Narrator/Announcer
Whose noose? What are you driving at?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Nothing. Nothing. I just don't like your theory, o'. Hara.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, it's apparent he was killed by somebody he trusted. If it wasn't a sweetheart, then.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Will you stop mentioning his sweetheart?
Narrator/Announcer
Why? Is she a friend of yours or something?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Don't be funny.
Narrator/Announcer
What are you mad at? What's seating you tonight?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Your theories. Stanton could have been sitting in that chair when he was killed. The murderer could have moved the body to throw us off the track.
Narrator/Announcer
I doubt it. The murderer didn't even have time to cover up the one clue that's going to convict him.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What's that?
Narrator/Announcer
Piece of String in the dead man's hand. You see how Stanton is holding onto it? String?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Looks more like a strong silk thread.
Narrator/Announcer
Probably something he tore from the murderer's clothing just before the knife went into his heart.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You don't tear single threads from a person's clothing, o'.
Narrator/Announcer
Hara. Then what is it?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I don't know. Let's open his hand and see.
Narrator/Announcer
Wait a minute. We don't have to open it. I can see something between the fingers.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What is it?
Narrator/Announcer
A pearl.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Miss Evans. Miss Evans, if you're in your room. For the love of Mike, open up.
Female Character (Various roles)
Who is it?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
The fat man.
Female Character (Various roles)
Alone?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Yes. Open up, will you?
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, what's wrong?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Plenty. I've got to talk to you like a Dutch uncle.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, wait a minute. You can't come in.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Shut up. You're in trouble, kid. I'm gonna find out just how much. Where did you disappear to when I went after that guy? That was following you?
Female Character (Various roles)
I ran down the stairs. Why?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That's what I want to know. Why?
Female Character (Various roles)
To get away from him, of course. I knew you wouldn't let him follow me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I wish I had. Where did you go?
Female Character (Various roles)
Home.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That's a lie. I've been calling up here all night.
Female Character (Various roles)
Well? I stopped off for a bite to eat.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Where? At Mr. Stanton's apartment.
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know what you're talking about.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Come on, baby. Tell me the truth. I know half of it. Now I want the other half or I'll call in the cops.
Female Character (Various roles)
What have I done that's wrong?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Lots of things. Most of them aren't my business. But murder is murder. You heard me. Don't stand there looking from one of my eyes to the other. Even a lousy actress can look innocent. She's beautiful enough.
Female Character (Various roles)
Why do you keep saying I'm beautiful?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Because you are. If I weren't a man and a half, I'd take you in my arms and.
Female Character (Various roles)
And what?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Never mind.
Nora Charles
Go ahead.
Female Character (Various roles)
Do it.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Are you kidding?
Female Character (Various roles)
Do it. I want you to kiss me, darling.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
My name isn't darling.
Female Character (Various roles)
You never told me what it was. What can I call you?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Nothing.
Female Character (Various roles)
You've got to believe me, darling. You've got to trust me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Why?
Female Character (Various roles)
Because I trust you. Will you kiss me now?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Yeah.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, you're awfully sweet when you want to be.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Who gave you that necklace you were wearing?
Nora Charles
What?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Who gave it to you? Why aren't you wearing it now?
Female Character (Various roles)
I just took it off.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Where is it?
Female Character (Various roles)
Don't you believe me?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Where is it? I want to see it.
Female Character (Various roles)
I've got it.
Scott Anderson (Chief of Police)
Where?
Female Character (Various roles)
Right here, on my dress. Are you satisfied?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Not yet. Is this the necklace you were wearing in my office?
Female Character (Various roles)
How many of these trinkets do you think I have?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
How do I know? There must be more where this came from.
Narrator/Announcer
Who gave it to you?
Female Character (Various roles)
Mr. Stanton?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Why didn't you tell me that before?
Female Character (Various roles)
Because it was none of your business.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, that's a good answer. Is it my business now?
Female Character (Various roles)
If you want it to be.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
How do you want it to be, Ms. Evans?
Female Character (Various roles)
I want it to be Kathy, not Ms. Evans.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Okay, Kathy. I'll take your case.
Female Character (Various roles)
Have I got one?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You will have. The cops will be swarming all over this place by tomorrow morning.
Female Character (Various roles)
Why?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Don't worry. Everything will be all right.
Female Character (Various roles)
You didn't feel that way when you came in?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
When I came in? I never expected to find this string of pearls. Not in one piece, anyway. You mind if I take them?
Female Character (Various roles)
What for?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I thought you trusted.
Female Character (Various roles)
You still haven't answered my Question.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I need these pearls to make your alibi stand up.
Narrator/Announcer
Kathy.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Don't forget I'm working for you. But the police aren't. You're sure these pearls were bought here, Mr. Werner?
Male Character (Various roles)
Quite sure.
Narrator/Announcer
I matched them for Mr. Stanton myself.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
No chance of a duplicate set looking exactly like these?
Narrator/Announcer
Very unlikely. Pearls are almost as individual as people.
Sam Spade
That's why they're so hard to match.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I see. This is your clasp, of course.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yes, it was made here.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
And the string?
Narrator/Announcer
No, the string might be anybody's.
Sam Spade
There's nothing distinctive about a string.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
But the pearls are distinctive. Quite.
Narrator/Announcer
Why did Mr. Stanton rearrange them?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You mean they're not in the right order?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, the order is correct. But I only counted 18. What? The big one in the center is missing.
Female Character (Various roles)
Hello?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Hello, Kathy?
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, yes.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
This is the fat man. Do you want to swing for the murder of Mr. Stanton?
Female Character (Various roles)
No.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Then do what I tell you.
Female Character (Various roles)
But I didn't kill him.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Then why didn't you tell me? You knew he was dead, you two faced.
Nora Charles
No.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Shut up. I know you were in Stanton's apartment tonight.
Narrator/Announcer
You had to be, or you wouldn't
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
have had that necklace back.
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know what you mean.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Don't play dumb with me. You picked those pearls up off the floor and stung them together again. All except one.
Nora Charles
What?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You stupid little fool. You left the most important one in the dead man's hand.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, no.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Now, this is your last chance, Kathy. Meet me in my office in 15 minutes or I go to the police.
Narrator/Announcer
Be there.
Male Character (Various roles)
Yes?
Female Character (Various roles)
It's me, Kathy.
Narrator/Announcer
Come in.
Female Character (Various roles)
What? Mr. Parker. What are you doing here?
Male Character (Various roles)
Waiting for you.
Narrator/Announcer
The fat man sent for me.
Female Character (Various roles)
Where is he?
Narrator/Announcer
He'll be back. He stepped out for a few minutes. Oh, come on in. Don't be afraid.
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, I.
Narrator/Announcer
Come on. The fat man wants me to show you something.
Female Character (Various roles)
What?
Narrator/Announcer
Look over there on top of the desk. See it?
Female Character (Various roles)
What is it?
Narrator/Announcer
A pearl. The largest one of a set.
Female Character (Various roles)
And what's it doing here?
Narrator/Announcer
That's the fat man's business. He just wanted me to show it to you. Recognize it?
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know very much about pearls.
Narrator/Announcer
Then you wouldn't be interested in buying it?
Female Character (Various roles)
Not from you. Who told you it was for sale?
Narrator/Announcer
The fat man. He offered it to me for.
Female Character (Various roles)
What's the matter? Shut.
Narrator/Announcer
There's a microphone hidden in this bowl of fruit. The fat man must be interested in your reactions.
Female Character (Various roles)
Where do the wires go?
Narrator/Announcer
Over here to the window and down the side of the building. He must be listening in another office.
Female Character (Various roles)
He won't Listen anymore.
Narrator/Announcer
Don't do that, you fool. Put that microphone down. Why? Because he'll know you smashed it. Do you want to get. Where's that pearl, Ms. Evans?
Female Character (Various roles)
I beg your pardon?
Male Character (Various roles)
That pearl.
Narrator/Announcer
You took it off the desk while I was at the window.
Female Character (Various roles)
Are you mistaken? I haven't been yet.
Narrator/Announcer
Come on, give it to me or I'll search you for it.
Nora Charles
Let go of me.
Narrator/Announcer
Not until you put that. Open your hand. Open it, I said. The fat man will kill me if you get away with this. Come back here, you little devil.
Female Character (Various roles)
Not on your life. Just a moment, Miss Evans. Mrs. Stanton. Yes. I'll take that pearl, please.
Inspector/Police Officer
Look out.
Narrator/Announcer
She's got a gun.
Nora Charles
Stay where you are, young lady. No, you can't make me. I told you to stop.
Female Character (Various roles)
You're wanted by the police for the
Nora Charles
murder of my husband.
Female Character (Various roles)
Get in the cab, Ms. Evans. Where are you taking me?
Nora Charles
Get in.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Malwa.
Narrator/Announcer
Mrs. Bantam.
Female Character (Various roles)
Thank you, Mr. Parker. All right, driver, hurry. Police headquarters.
Narrator/Announcer
Right.
Female Character (Various roles)
Why don't you start?
Narrator/Announcer
Gotta wait for the light to change, lady.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You gotta wait for me too.
Narrator/Announcer
The fat man.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Surprise. How do you feel, Kathy?
Female Character (Various roles)
Why, I'm all right.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You better have somebody look at that shoulder. Franklin Hospital driver. Make it snappy.
Narrator/Announcer
Okay.
Female Character (Various roles)
Just a moment. We are taking her to police headquarters
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
quarters with a fresh wound in her shoulder. She needs medical attention. Franklin Hospital driver. And don't spare the horses. How is she, Doc? Oh, she'll be all right. Bullet just grazed her shoulder.
Female Character (Various roles)
You're very lucky, Ms. Evans.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You mean you're very lucky. Don't you know it's against the law to go around shooting people?
Female Character (Various roles)
I couldn't let her get away with that pearl, could I?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Why not? That isn't the one they found in your husband's hand. That's just a hunk of paste.
Nora Charles
But you told us all to come
Female Character (Various roles)
to your office so you could trap the one who tried to steal it.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
How did you know that it was.
Narrator/Announcer
That's no excuse for shooting at her, Mrs. Stanton.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, I didn't really shoot. I tried to frighten her more than anything else.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, in any case, I'll have to
Narrator/Announcer
make a report to the police.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Will you come with me, Mrs. Stanton?
Female Character (Various roles)
Certainly.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You're a dead pigeon, Kathy.
Female Character (Various roles)
What do you mean?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Even a bald headed jury won't save you on this one.
Female Character (Various roles)
But I didn't kill him.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I think you did. What's your vote, Parker?
Narrator/Announcer
I won't say until I've heard all the facts.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
But you, you know all the facts. Didn't you follow her to Stanton's apartment late this afternoon?
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, I did.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
How long was she there?
Narrator/Announcer
About 20 minutes.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
And she went right to the railroad station as soon as she left his apartment.
Female Character (Various roles)
But I didn't kill him. He was dead when I got there.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Then why did you pick up the pearls and string them together again?
Female Character (Various roles)
Because I knew I was being framed. Somebody put that necklace in Mr. Stanton's hand.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That's a good one.
Female Character (Various roles)
It's true. I didn't have the pearls when I went to his apartment.
Narrator/Announcer
What?
Female Character (Various roles)
It was stolen from me this morning.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Can you prove that?
Female Character (Various roles)
No.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Can you prove it to me?
Female Character (Various roles)
Kathy, I don't know. Look at me.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I'm looking.
Female Character (Various roles)
I didn't kill Mr. Stanton. I swear I didn't.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That's not good enough, Kathy. But I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll help you get out of here.
Female Character (Various roles)
What?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I'll give you a head start on the police.
Narrator/Announcer
Don't be a fool.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Mind your own business, Parker.
Narrator/Announcer
This is my business. If she killed Stanton.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Go on, give her a break, will you?
Female Character (Various roles)
No.
Narrator/Announcer
I'm just as responsible as you are. You can't make me a party to this.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Then turn your back on it.
Narrator/Announcer
You're crazy. It's a felony to assist a criminal. I'm going to call the police.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Get away from that phone.
Narrator/Announcer
For heaven's sake, use your head. They'll catch her anyway.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Get away from that phone. I said no.
Female Character (Various roles)
Don't. So I can't run away. He'll only make it look worse.
Narrator/Announcer
Why, of course. The sooner we call the police, the better.
Male Character (Various roles)
Hello?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Hello?
Narrator/Announcer
Get me the police department, please.
Nora Charles
Yes, sir.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You're not going to make that call, Parker.
Narrator/Announcer
What?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You're not going to make that call. If I have to pick up one of these knives and jab it into your ribs.
Narrator/Announcer
Put that down. Put that down, you fool.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Now, you see, Parker, even on short notice. A man reaches out for the murderer's hand. A hand with a knife. What don't you understand? Stand. When a man comes at you with a knife, you reach for his hand, not for his throat.
Narrator/Announcer
What are you talking about?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Stanton. He couldn't have torn those pearls off Kathy's neck. If she came at him with a knife. He'd have grabbed for her hand the way you grabbed mine.
Narrator/Announcer
You mean she was framed?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
You guessed it. She was framed by a guy who knew every move she made. Guy who knew when he could steal that necklace. And plant it in Stanton's hand at the most effective time. Who fits that description, Parker? Who knew every move Kathy made. These last three days.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, why are you looking at me?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Because you're it. You wanted Stanton out of the way so you and Mrs. Stanton could get married and live on Stanton's doe. You're no private detective. I found that out five minutes after I met you.
Narrator/Announcer
Drop that knife and stay where you are. I've got a gun.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Look out, Kathy. You may use it.
Narrator/Announcer
I will if you don't get out of my way. Hello?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
That phone's open. Parker. You're giving the police your whole confession.
Narrator/Announcer
What? This?
Nora Charles
Oh.
Narrator/Announcer
Hello? Hello?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Take it easy, Captain. I'm bringing in a murderer. So you and Stanton were just good friends, Kathy?
Female Character (Various roles)
That's right.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Must have thought an awful lot of his friends to give them pearl necklaces.
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, I know you won't believe it, but he was like that. He once gave a surgeon a brand new car just for operating on his hand.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
What did you do for the old boy?
Female Character (Various roles)
I went out with him. Let him take me to shows and things.
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Well, here's where I got off.
Female Character (Various roles)
Am I home already?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
This is it. Good night. Kathy.
Female Character (Various roles)
Wait a minute. Am I ever going to see you again?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
I don't know.
Female Character (Various roles)
Why not? Don't you like me?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Sure. I like all beautiful women. The trouble is, I fall in love with them.
Female Character (Various roles)
And what's wrong with that?
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Having to fall out. So long, Kathy. Remember, nobody loves a fat man.
Narrator/Announcer
Listen again next week at the same time when the American Broadcasting Company brings you another adventure of Dashiell Hammett's exciting new character, the Fat Man. Next week's story is called the Unfamiliar Face. And as the Fat man says,
The Fat Man (J. Scott Smart)
Know a man's face and you know the man behind it. Line for line, it tells the story of his life. From the women he's known to the crimes he's committed.
Narrator/Announcer
Tonight's adventure of the Fat man, played by J. Scott Smart, was directed by Robert Sloan. Bernard Green composed and conducted the original music.
Commercial Announcer
Hold on to your nerves.
Narrator/Announcer
Next comes a guy who keeps busy chasing fugitives and frails. It's William Gargan as private detective Ross Dolan shooting his way through the mystery
Commercial Announcer
thriller Ideal in crime.
Narrator/Announcer
This is the American Broadcasting Company.
Inspector/Police Officer
The house of squib presents academy awards. Every week, Squibb brings you Hollywood's finest. The great picture plays, the great actors and actresses, techniques and skills chosen from the honor roll of those who have won or been nominated. Nominated for the famous Golden Oscar of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. And now, E.R. squibbin Sons, manufacturing chemist of the medical profession since 1858. Bring you, the distinguished star, Mr. Humphrey Bogart, who as Best Actor of the year was nominated for the 1943 Academy Award. You will also hear Miss Mary Astor, who won the 1941 Academy Award as Best Supporting Actress of the Year, and Sydney Greenstreet, who was nominated for the 1941 Academy Award as Best Supporting Actor. Tonight, Mr. Bogart, Ms. Astor and Mr. Greenstreet will play the famous roles they created for the screen in the Maltese Falcon, the thrilling mystery which was nominated as Best Production of the year for the 1941 Academy Award.
Male Character (Various roles)
My name is Spade. Sam Spade. License number 357896 issued for the Police department of San Francisco. Occupation, private detective. Sometimes known as private eye. My files in the case of the Maltese Falcon are closed. But I've got the Maltese Falcon. I got it and some dough. My partner got murdered and a very slick chick went up for life. I'll tell you about it. This slick dame comes to see me one day, gives me a song and dance about a. And a guy called Floyd Thursby. She wants us to get her sister back before her mother and father get in from Hawaii. I put my partner, Miles Archer, on the case. At night he gets murdered and so does this guy Thursby. I go around to the apartment where the dame is living the one called Bridget o'. Shaughnessy. She had something I seem to go for.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, Mr. Spade, come in.
Male Character (Various roles)
I have come in.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, yes, so you have, Mr. Spade. Tell me, am I to blame for last night?
Male Character (Various roles)
You warned us that Thursby was dangerous. Of course, you lied to us about your sister and all that. But that doesn't count. We didn't believe you.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, help me, Mr. Spade. I need help so badly. I've no right to ask you. But I do ask you.
Joel Cairo
Help me.
Male Character (Various roles)
You won't need much of anybody's help. You're good. You're awful good. It's chiefly your eyes, I think. In that place throb you get into your voice when you say things like, Help me, Mr. Spade.
Female Character (Various roles)
I deserve that. But, oh, the lie was in the way I said it and not at all in what I said.
Male Character (Various roles)
If I'm going to help you, I've got to have some sort of a line on your Floyd Thursby.
Female Character (Various roles)
I met him in the Orient. We came here from Hong Kong last week.
Male Character (Various roles)
Did he kill Archer?
Nora Charles
Yes.
Male Character (Various roles)
Certainly picked a nice sort of playmate.
Female Character (Various roles)
Only that sort could have helped me if. If he had been loyal.
Male Character (Various roles)
How bad a hole are you? Acting as bad as could be. Physical danger.
Female Character (Various roles)
I'm not heroic. I don't think there's anything worse than death.
Male Character (Various roles)
Then it's that.
Female Character (Various roles)
It's that, as surely as we're sitting here. Unless you help me.
Male Character (Various roles)
Who killed Thursby, your enemies or his?
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know. His, I suppose. I'm afraid I don't know.
Male Character (Various roles)
Who are these enemies?
Female Character (Various roles)
Well, there's a small, dark man with white teeth and a smooth, dangerous, fat man.
Male Character (Various roles)
Oh, this is hopeless. Well, how much money you got?
Female Character (Various roles)
I have about $500 left.
Male Character (Various roles)
Give it to me. There's only 400 here.
Female Character (Various roles)
I had to keep some to live on.
Joel Cairo
Okay.
Male Character (Various roles)
I'll be back as soon as I can. You needn't come to the door with me. I can let myself out. I went by the office and found a dark little guy with very white teeth waiting for me. His name was Joel Cairo. He was a Greek.
Joel Cairo
Mr. Spade, I'm trying to recover an. An ornament that has been, shall we say, mislaid. I thought and hoped you could assist me.
Male Character (Various roles)
Uh huh.
Joel Cairo
The ornament is a statuette, the black figure of a bird. I prepared to pay the sum of $5,000 for its recovery and no questions asked.
Male Character (Various roles)
5,000 is a lot of money. It's a very interesting figure.
Joel Cairo
You will put your hands together at the back of your neck, Mr. Spade, huh?
Male Character (Various roles)
Oh, sure.
Joel Cairo
I shall shoot you if you try to stop me, Mr. Spade, but I must search your office.
Male Character (Various roles)
We won't find anything but a pair of worn out rubbers, a half pint of rum and a pack of chewing gum.
Female Character (Various roles)
We shall see.
Joel Cairo
Please stand up. So?
Male Character (Various roles)
Sure. This way.
Joel Cairo
No, the other way.
Male Character (Various roles)
Sure. I'll take the gun, Mr. Cairo.
Narrator/Announcer
Now get up.
Joel Cairo
I am very slow in things like that, unfortunately.
Male Character (Various roles)
Yeah.
Joel Cairo
I'm still prepared to pay $5,000 for the return of the figure. Do you have it, Mr. Spade?
Male Character (Various roles)
No.
Joel Cairo
If it is not here, why did you just risk serious injury to prevent my searching for it?
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, I should sit around and let people come in and stick me up.
Joel Cairo
You wish some assurance of my sincerity?
Male Character (Various roles)
A retainer, I might say.
Joel Cairo
$100.
Male Character (Various roles)
You better make it 200. Thanks. Your first guess was that I had the bird. What's your second guess?
Joel Cairo
That you know where it is or
Narrator/Announcer
where you can get it.
Male Character (Various roles)
You're not hiring me to murder or do burglary, but to get back the figure in some lawful way. Say, from a dame with red hair or a smooth, dangerous, fat man.
Joel Cairo
Oh, so you know.
Narrator/Announcer
You must beware of them.
Joel Cairo
They would stop at nothing. May I have my pistol now?
Male Character (Various roles)
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure, I'd forgotten it.
Joel Cairo
Thank you. Now, Mr. Spade, you will kindly clasp your hands behind your neck.
Male Character (Various roles)
What the.
Joel Cairo
Don't move, Mr. Spade, this time I might shoot. I insist on searching your office.
Male Character (Various roles)
Sure, go ahead. I finally got rid of to the Greek and started back for Bridget o' Shaughnessy's apartment. Matter of fact, I had a hunch that the Greek was going there himself and started to tail his cab when a sad faced guy poked something into my back and said, come on, the
Joel Cairo
fat man wants to see.
Male Character (Various roles)
Here he is, Mr. Gutman.
Narrator/Announcer
The guy who was talking to the dame and the Greek.
Male Character (Various roles)
Ah, Mr. Spade, Mr. Gutman.
Narrator/Announcer
We begin.
Joel Cairo
Well, sir, I distrust a man who talks too much.
Male Character (Various roles)
I like to talk.
Joel Cairo
Of course, Talking something you can't do judiciously unless you keep in practice.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah.
Joel Cairo
Now, sir, me a talk if you like. And I'll tell you right out that I'm. A man likes talking to a man who likes to talk.
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, will we talk about the Blackbird?
Joel Cairo
You're the man for me, sir. No beating about the bush.
Narrator/Announcer
Right to the point.
Joel Cairo
Let us talk about the Blackbird, by all means.
Narrator/Announcer
The.
Joel Cairo
Mr. Spade, have you any conception of how much money can be got for that blackbird?
Male Character (Various roles)
No.
Joel Cairo
Well, sir, if I told you, if I told you half, you'd call me a liar.
Male Character (Various roles)
No, no, not even if I thought so. But you just tell me what it is and I'll figure out the profits.
Joel Cairo
You mean you don't know what that bird is?
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, I know what it's supposed to look like. I know the value in human life you people put on it.
Joel Cairo
Mr. O' Shaughnessy didn't tell you what it is. Cairo didn't either.
Male Character (Various roles)
He offered me 10,000 for it.
Joel Cairo
$10,000, mind you, not even pounds. They must know what it is.
Narrator/Announcer
Or do they? What is your impression?
Male Character (Various roles)
I can't tell. They're both lying if they don't know.
Joel Cairo
I'm the only one in the whole wide sweet world.
Male Character (Various roles)
Just swell. When you've told me, that'll make two of us.
Joel Cairo
Mathematically correct, sir, but I don't know for certain that I'm going to tell you.
Male Character (Various roles)
Don't be foolish. You know what it is, I know where it is. That's why I'm here. Where, sir?
Narrator/Announcer
Where is it?
Male Character (Various roles)
Don't be silly.
Joel Cairo
You see, I must tell you what I know, but you will not tell me what you know. That is hardly equitable, sir.
Male Character (Various roles)
No, no, I don't think we can
Joel Cairo
do business along those lines.
Inspector/Police Officer
Yeah, well, think.
Male Character (Various roles)
Think again. And think fast. I can get along without you. And keep that gun, gunshell, away from me while you're making up your mind. I'll kill him.
Joel Cairo
Well, sir, I must say you the most violent temp.
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, what are you wasting time for? You've got till 5.30, then you're either in or out for. Three characters and a black bird. Well, all I knew was my partner was dead and the cops were getting very uncooperative about the whole thing, including who killed Floyd Thursby. I thought I'd better get back to see that o' Shaughnessy dame before it was too late. And sure enough, it almost was.
Female Character (Various roles)
They came here and took him away.
Male Character (Various roles)
Took who away? Who?
Female Character (Various roles)
The police. They wanted to talk to you, too. They took Mr. Cairo with them.
Male Character (Various roles)
What was he doing here?
Female Character (Various roles)
He came to talk about the bird.
Male Character (Various roles)
What is this bird, this falcon that everybody's all steamed up about?
Female Character (Various roles)
Suppose I wouldn't tell you anything at all about it. What would you do? Something wild and unpredictable, maybe. Well, it's a black figure, as you know, smooth and shiny of a bird, a hawk or Falcon, about 12 inches high.
Male Character (Various roles)
Now, what makes it so important?
Female Character (Various roles)
I don't know. They wouldn't tell me. But they promised me £500 if I helped them get it from the man who had.
Male Character (Various roles)
Go ahead.
Female Character (Various roles)
They promised me £500 to help them, and I did. Then we found that Joel Cairo was going to take the falcon and dessert part of me. So we did that to Joel first.
Male Character (Various roles)
You are a liar.
Female Character (Various roles)
I am a liar. I've always been a liar.
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, don't brag about it. Is there any truth at all in that yarn?
Female Character (Various roles)
Some.
Nora Charles
Not very much.
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, we've got plenty of. I'll put some coffee on and we'll try again.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, I'm so tired. So tired of lying and thinking up lies and not knowing what is a lie and what is the truth. Oh, darling, don't stare at me like that. Come closer, darling.
Male Character (Various roles)
It is something to do while waiting. Why not?
Female Character (Various roles)
Kiss me, Sam Spade. Kiss me.
Male Character (Various roles)
Why not? That happens every time. I'll get it.
Female Character (Various roles)
Be careful, darling.
Male Character (Various roles)
Okay.
Narrator/Announcer
Come on, you.
Male Character (Various roles)
He wants to see you. Well, if it is the fat man's killer. Hello, pale face. How many did you bump off today? Shut up.
Narrator/Announcer
Gutman's waiting for you.
Inspector/Police Officer
I'm kidding.
Joel Cairo
What kept you, darling?
Male Character (Various roles)
What do you want? He wants me. The fat man's been thinking things over.
Joel Cairo
Well, Mr. Spade, I must apologize for sending to you in this fashion.
Male Character (Various roles)
Now, never mind. Let's talk about the bird.
Joel Cairo
All right, let's. What do you think of the Order of The Hospital of St. John of Jerusalem?
Male Character (Various roles)
Crusaders or something, weren't they?
Joel Cairo
Very good. In 1539, these crusading knights persuaded Emperor Charles V to give them the island of Malta. He made but one condition. They were to pay him each year for the tribute of a in acknowledgment that the Malta were still under Spain. Do you follow me?
Male Character (Various roles)
Yeah.
Joel Cairo
Have you any conception of the extreme immeasurable wealth of the Order of that time?
Male Character (Various roles)
I imagine they were pretty well fixed.
Joel Cairo
They were rolling in wealth, sir. They hit upon the happy thought of sending the emperor for the first year's tribute not an insignificant live bird, but a glorious golden falcon encrusted from head to foot with the finest jewels in their coffer. Allow me to replenish your drink, sir. Well, what do you think of these Knights?
Male Character (Various roles)
I don't know.
Joel Cairo
Well, sir, the Glorious Four can never reach Spain. Buccaneers raided the galleon in 1713. The bird showed up in Sicily, in 1840 in Paris, and it had by that time acquired a coat of black enamel looking like nothing but a fairly interesting black statue. In 1923, a Greek dealer found it in an obscure parish shop. He knew what it was. I heard about it in London and rushed over to buy it. But the Greek was murdered and the falcon gone. That was 23 years ago. For 23 years I searched for the bird. I traced it to the home of a Russian general, Kennedy. But he wouldn't sell, even though he knew nothing of its value. I was forced to send my agents after it. They got it, sir, but I haven't got it. But Dave may going to get it, sir. How soon can you. How soon are you willing to produce the token?
Male Character (Various roles)
A couple of days.
Joel Cairo
That is satisfactory. Well, sir, here's a fair bargain and profits large enough for both of us.
Male Character (Various roles)
What's your idea of a fair bargain?
Joel Cairo
Shall I say 100,000?
Male Character (Various roles)
Why not?
Joel Cairo
What did you see to a quarter of a million?
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, then you think the dingus is worth the millions, huh?
Joel Cairo
Why not?
Male Character (Various roles)
Yeah, why not? Say, I. I feel kind of funny, Gutman. That drink.
Joel Cairo
My dear man, how could you suggest anything so crude?
Male Character (Various roles)
I, I.
Joel Cairo
Wilma. Wilma.
Male Character (Various roles)
Yeah, the drink got him, huh?
Joel Cairo
But your guns are wavering. You must learn to be subtle in these things. Like me.
Narrator/Announcer
How to get light, huh?
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, I owe him something to L.
Joel Cairo
He thinks he's tough.
Male Character (Various roles)
Let's see if he can take this.
Joel Cairo
That's enough, Wilma. You've kicked him enough. Never do to kill him here. Besides Wilma, you know how I hate the sight of blood.
Inspector/Police Officer
In a moment you will hear the second part of Academy Award. You yourself uncover jewels more precious than the rarest gems. Every time you smile, your teeth are priceless. Preserve their natural brilliance with creamy smooth Squib Dental Cream. For the polishing agent in this quality dentifress is one of the safest, softest, yet most effective known to dental science. That's why you can actually see the refreshing difference when you brush your teeth with Squib Dental Cream. And you can taste and feel the refreshing difference too. That's because the delightful flavor of Squib Dental Cream is cool and inviting as a shady bed of mint. Because the refreshing action of Squid Dental Cream leaves your teeth and gums feeling gloriously clean. So for a brighter smile and a happier mouth, try Squib Dental Cream, one of the great family of Squib products. Taste, feel and see the refreshing difference. Use Squib Dental Cream. In a moment you will hear part two of the Maltese Falcon. But first, we want to thank Warner Brothers for making this story available. And one thing more. On August 6th, Warner Brothers will celebrate the 20th anniversary of sound Pictures. Yes, it has been that long since the silent shadows of the screen found a voice. We congratulate Warner Brothers on this historic anniversary. And now the House of Squibb presents part two of Academy Awards. Starring Humphrey Bogart in the Maltese Falcon with Mary Astor and certainly Grimsby.
Male Character (Various roles)
I guess the name of Sam Spade was a cinch for the back page. Habituate. But I came out of it somehow and managed to get up and stagger out of that apartment. I went around to the hotel where Joel Cairo had a room and made a deal with with a house dick to let me search it. All I could find was a newspaper in the wastebasket, folded back to the steamship news. There was a list of arrivals and one was marked. It said 8 7am The La Paloma from Hong Kong. That was good enough for me. I got a cab and rode down to the docks. The La Paloma was on fire and burning beautifully. I went back to my office to hold my aching head and think things over. When the door opened, the tall guy in a long black overcoat stood there with a package in his hands making gurgling noises before he fell like a tree. He should have. He was dead. I took a good look at him. He was a mate off the La Paloma. I unwrapped his package and there it was. The black bird. The Maltese fal. I grabbed the phone and Listened. It was Bridget o', Shaughnessy and she said she was in trouble. I found her shivering in a dark corner of an office building. I took her and the falcon home to my apartment. I put her on the couch. I put the falcon in the icebox where no one would think to look for anything, including ice. I came back in and switched on the lights and found the surprise party waiting to greet me.
Joel Cairo
Well, sir, we're all here now. Let's sit down and be comfortable and talk.
Male Character (Various roles)
Sure. Get away from me. Gunshot. You're not gonna frisk me.
Narrator/Announcer
Stand still.
Male Character (Various roles)
Shut up. Put your paw on me and I'll make you use that gun. Ask your boss if he wants me shot up before we talk.
Joel Cairo
Never mind, Wilma. You're certainly a most headstrong individual, Mr. Spade. Well, let's be seated.
Male Character (Various roles)
You too, Cairo. You can put down your gun, too.
Joel Cairo
Of course, Mr. Spade. I was only using caution, as it.
Male Character (Various roles)
Were you ready, Gutman? Are you ready to make the first payment and take the falcon off my hands?
Joel Cairo
Well, sir, as to that, here are $10,000, sir.
Male Character (Various roles)
Oh, we were talking about more money than this.
Joel Cairo
Yes, sir, we were. But this is genuine coin of the realm, sir. With a dollar of this, you can buy $10 of talk. Besides, the more of us that be taken care of now.
Male Character (Various roles)
That may be, but I've got the falcon. I should not think it would be
Joel Cairo
necessary to remind you, Mr. Spade, that though you may have the falcon yet, we certainly have you.
Male Character (Various roles)
Yes, I'm trying not to let that worry me. We'll come to the money later. There's another thing to be taken care of first. We've got to have a fall guy. The police have to have a victim, somebody they can stick for those three murders.
Joel Cairo
Two? Only two murders, Mr. Spade? Thursby undoubtedly killed your partner.
Male Character (Various roles)
All right, two. What difference does it make? The point is we've got to get the police.
Joel Cairo
Come, come, Mr. Spade. You can't expect us to believe at this late date you are the least afraid of the police or that you're not able to hang.
Male Character (Various roles)
I'm up to my neck, Gutman. I've got to come through with somebody, a victim, when the time comes. If I don't, I'll be it. Let's give him the gunshot. He acted. He did shoot Thursby and the other one, didn't he? Anyway, he's made to order to the part. Let's turn him over to the cops.
Inspector/Police Officer
Get up on your feet.
Narrator/Announcer
I've taken all the writing from you. I'm gonna Take.
Inspector/Police Officer
Get up.
Joel Cairo
Shoot it out. No, no, Wilma, don't shoot.
Narrator/Announcer
There, There.
Male Character (Various roles)
Gunshot. That'll take care of you. Put him on the sofa. Sorry, Bridget, but you seem to have recovered.
Nora Charles
I'm.
Female Character (Various roles)
I'm all right.
Narrator/Announcer
Good.
Male Character (Various roles)
Well, gentlemen, there's our fall guy. And now, gentlemen, you agree? Or I'll turn the falcon and the whole lot of you in.
Joel Cairo
Mr. Spade, I don't like this. What if we took matters into our own hands and killed you?
Male Character (Various roles)
You won't, or you'll never find the falcon.
Joel Cairo
True, but there are other ways. We could make you talk.
Male Character (Various roles)
No. I'd take it and make you kill me and then you'd end up the same way.
Joel Cairo
I believe you would, too. Well, I always felt toward Wilmer like a father. But you can have him.
Male Character (Various roles)
Swell. Let's get the details fixed. Why did he shoot Thursby?
Joel Cairo
Thursby was Ms. O' Shaughnessy's ally. We thought in disposing of him, we would teach Ms. O' Shaughnessy to patch up our differences with us regarding the
Male Character (Various roles)
falcon and the mate from the La Paloma.
Joel Cairo
That was Ms. O' Shaughness fault. Cairo got in touch with me when he saw the notice of the ship's arrival. He remembered that the mate and Miss o' Shaughnessy had been friendly in Hong Kong. He called on this man, but he with Ms. O' Shaughnessy and the bird slipped through our fingers. We followed them to her apartment and Wilmer shot the mate as he was coming down the fire escape. He shot him many times, but man was tough and he did not drop the falcon. We persuaded Ms. O' Shaughnessy to call your office but unfortunately she did not call in time to prevent you from meeting the meat and getting the falcon.
Male Character (Various roles)
I see.
Joel Cairo
And now, sir, would it be presumptuous if we asked to see the falcon?
Male Character (Various roles)
Okay. It's in my icebox.
Joel Cairo
Icebox.
Male Character (Various roles)
I see.
Joel Cairo
You are a character, sir.
Narrator/Announcer
Yes, very, very clever of you.
Joel Cairo
Very. I've got it. I've got it. Bring it in here at once. Here, wrapped in this. After 23 years, it is it. We'll make sure. Emmy. Or knife, sir?
Male Character (Various roles)
Here.
Joel Cairo
I'll peel off some of this disfiguring enamel. It's fake.
Male Character (Various roles)
All right, o', Shaughnessy, you've had your little joke. Now tell us about it.
Female Character (Various roles)
No, Sam.
Narrator/Announcer
No.
Female Character (Various roles)
That's the one I got from the Russian. I swear.
Joel Cairo
You bungled it, Gutman. You and your stupid attempt to buy it. The Russian caught on how valuable it was.
Inspector/Police Officer
No wonder we had so Little trouble stealing it.
Joel Cairo
You imbecile. You bloated idiot. Yes, this is the Russian's hand. There's no doubt of it. Well, sir, what do you suggest? Shall we stand here and shed tears and call each other names? Nor shall we go to Istanbul and to interview our Russian friend? Go to Istanbul? For 23 years I have wanted that little item and been trying to get it. If I must spend another year on the quest, well, that will be an added expenditure in time. Only I go with you.
Narrator/Announcer
Wilma's gone.
Joel Cairo
Wilma's gone.
Narrator/Announcer
So he has.
Joel Cairo
That makes it imperative that we go, too. Oh, by the way, sir, I'll travel to you for my envelope containing the $10,000.
Male Character (Various roles)
I kept my end of the bargain, but I'll settle for a thousand for expenses.
Joel Cairo
Thank you. I'll allow you the thousand.
Male Character (Various roles)
That'll take care of my time.
Joel Cairo
Now, sir, we'll say goodbye to you unless you care to undertake the Istanbul expedition with us. You don't? That's too bad. Well, sir, the shortest farewells are best. Adieu. And to you, Ms. O', Shaughnessy, I leave the rarer Avisair on the table as a little memento. The Maltese Falcon.
Male Character (Various roles)
All right, o', Shaughnessy, talk.
Female Character (Various roles)
Where should I begin?
Male Character (Various roles)
You came to me and asked me to have Thursby followed. I put my partner on it. He followed Thursby? He was killed. You must have told Thursby he was being followed.
Female Character (Various roles)
I told him, yes. But please believe me, Sam. I wouldn't have told him if I'd thought Floyd Thursby would kill your partner.
Male Character (Various roles)
Miles hadn't many brains, but he had too many years experience as a detective to be caught like that by a man he was shadowing up a blind alley with his gun tucked away in his hip and his overcoat buttoned. But he'd have gone up there with ease, angel. He was just dumb enough for that. And then you could have stood as close to him in the dark as you liked and put a bullet through him.
Female Character (Various roles)
Don't. Don't talk like that to me, Sam. You know I didn't know.
Male Character (Various roles)
Why did you shoot him?
Female Character (Various roles)
I. I didn't mean to at first. I. I can't look at you and tell you this.
Male Character (Various roles)
You thought Thursby would tackle him. If he got Thursby, then you were rid of him. If Thursby won, you had something on him, enough to be rid of him for good. Wasn't that it?
Female Character (Various roles)
Something like that.
Male Character (Various roles)
But when Thursby backed down, you took the. And did the Job yourself.
Female Character (Various roles)
Oh, Sam, sweetheart.
Nora Charles
From the very first instant I saw
Narrator/Announcer
you, I knew you.
Male Character (Various roles)
Angel. Well, if you get a good break, you'll be out of San Quentin in 20 years. And you can come back to me then. I hope they don't hang you, precious, by that sweet neck.
Female Character (Various roles)
You know deep down in your heart that in spite of anything I've done, I love you.
Male Character (Various roles)
I don't care who loves whom. I'm not going to play the SAP for you. I won't work in 30s and I don't know how many others. Footsteps. You killed my partner and you're going over for it.
Female Character (Various roles)
Promised to do this to me. Sam, surely your partner wasn't as much to you.
Male Character (Various roles)
Listen.
Joel Cairo
Listen to me.
Male Character (Various roles)
This won't do any good. You'll never understand me. But I'll try once and then give it up. Listen, when a man's partner is killed, he's supposed to do something about it.
Inspector/Police Officer
And it happens.
Male Character (Various roles)
We're in the detective business. Well, when one of your organization gets killed, it's bad business to let the killer get away with it. Bad all around. Bad for every detective. Every.
Female Character (Various roles)
You can't send me to the. Sam, you can't.
Nora Charles
You love me. You love me.
Male Character (Various roles)
Maybe I do.
Narrator/Announcer
What of it?
Male Character (Various roles)
Maybe next month I won't. I've been through it before. I'll have some rotten nights after I've sent you over, but that'll pass. I want you, sure. But I won't take you with a price because of all. Because all of me wants to, regardless of consequences. Because you counted on that with me. The same as you counted on that with all the others.
Female Character (Various roles)
Sam, darling, kiss me. Kiss me.
Male Character (Various roles)
Sure.
Joel Cairo
Sure, baby.
Female Character (Various roles)
What are you doing? Who are you calling?
Male Character (Various roles)
The cops, baby. The cops to come and take you away.
Inspector/Police Officer
Just as thrilling as tracking down some fabulous treasure is the search for the unknown which goes on unceasingly in the Squibb Research Laboratory. Well, that is the search that leads to the discovery of new life saving drugs and new life saving uses for existing drugs. Streptomycin is one of the newest products of this searching in the new field of medicine opened up by penicillin. Streptomycin, still in the testing stages, shows great promise against additional enemies of mankind. That is why squib scientists are working night and day to unlock the secrets of streptomycin to improve the strain. To find and test all the ways in which it may be used in the conquest of disease. It is this same crusting spirit, this refusal to stop anywhere short of perfection. That inspires all endeavors of the House of Squib. It is one reason why, wherever you come across it in the service of human health, Squib is a name you can trust. Next Wednesday, another great picture, the House of Squibb will present Academy Awards starring Henry fonda in young Mr. Lincoln. Today's performance of the Maltese Falcon was written for radio by Frank Wilson with an original musical score composed and conducted by Leed Stevens. Our producer director is Dee Engelbach. Humphrey Bogart is soon to be seen in Warner Brothers Big Sleep. Mary Aster appeared through the courtesy of Metro Goldwyn Mayer, producers of the technicolor
Joel Cairo
musical Easy to Web.
Inspector/Police Officer
Sidney Green street is soon to be seen in Warner Brothers the verdict. This is Hugh Brundage bidding you good night until next Wednesday. At the same time when you're imparted to listen again to Academy awards presented by the House of Squibb, a name you can trust.
Male Character (Various roles)
This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Commercial Announcer
The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective Brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil Hair tonic, the non alcoholic hair tonic that contains lanolin. Wild Root Cream Oil. Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first.
Nora Charles
Sam Spade Detective Agent.
Sam Spade
It's only me from over the sea.
Nora Charles
Oh, Sam. How was it at the beach?
Sam Spade
Sam was, as always, foggy.
Nora Charles
Did you go in?
Sam Spade
Well, I was up to my neck for the first rumble. If you mean did I go in the water, I did.
Nora Charles
Was it cold?
Sam Spade
I didn't notice. I was too busy landing a corpse.
Nora Charles
Oh. Oh, Sam, What a coincidence. I was just reading my new library book and it's all about a body in the water pushed over a cliff. And there's a strangest girl in it with a. With a strange mother. And she drinks the girl and runs away with a chauffeur. That rich people, they can't do that.
Sam Spade
They're stealing my material.
Nora Charles
Oh, no, Sam, no. It's by Owen Fitzgerald, Stephen. He's very well thought of. Mother always understands his plot.
Sam Spade
Not tonight, she won't. Stay where you are, angel. I'll be right down to dictate my report on the critical author Caber.
Commercial Announcer
Dashiell Hammett, America's leading detective fiction writer and creator of Sam Spade, the Hard Boiled Private Eye, and William Spear, radio's outstanding Producer, Director of mystery and crime drama join their talents to make your hair stand on end with the Adventures of Sam Spade presented by the makers of Wild Root Cream Oil for the hair. You know as well as I do, fellas, your hair is one of the first things any gal notices. So it's really important to keep your hair spruced up right all the time. The answer? Why, of course. Wild Root Cream Oil, Hair Tonic. Wild Root Cream Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally, relieves dryness and removes loose ugly dandruff. I have a hunch, fellas, she'll help herself to another look. If you're using Wildroot, get Wildroot. Cream Oil, Hair tonic in bottles or the handy new tube. It's again and again the choice of men who put good grooming first. Later in this program we'll have an important announcement. Listen for it. And now, with Howard Duff starring as Spade Wildroot brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the Adventures of Sam Spade.
Sam Spade
I'm looking over.
Nora Charles
Oh, Sam.
Sam Spade
Yeah, come on in. Let's get this over with.
Nora Charles
Can you wait till I finish this chapter? There's a page to go. The detective had just found this girl in a sorted rooming house. He had this fight with her boyfriend and boinged him. And now butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. But I don't trust her.
Sam Spade
What's the name of the book?
Nora Charles
Morgue Fruit. His last was a spindly stiff. That was about this neurotic nurse who was in love with her employee.
Sam Spade
Effie. How long have you been reading this kind of trash?
Nora Charles
It's not trash, Sam. Oh, he really makes his characters live. And I love his detective. He's real hard boiled, like Dashiell Hammett.
Sam Spade
Dashiell.
Nora Charles
Dammit.
Sam Spade
Mark your place and come in.
Nora Charles
All right.
Narrator/Announcer
Ready?
Nora Charles
Yes, I'm. I can hardly wait.
Sam Spade
That's the way I like you.
Nora Charles
Eager to finish the chapter, I mean.
Female Character (Various roles)
Please.
Nora Charles
I wonder what she's up to. She's guilty, of course.
Sam Spade
Of course. But why not?
Nora Charles
You can read it when I'm finished. Oh, my goodness. We've got a report to get out. And here we are chattering about books. Date. August.
Sam Spade
I will give the date.
Nora Charles
Yes, Sam.
Narrator/Announcer
Date fella. Do two.
Sam Spade
Missing Persons Bureau, San Francisco Police. Attention, Sergeant Schwartz. From Samuel Spade. License number 127596. Subject, Gabrielle Leggett. Dear Dave, I should have handed it over to you at the start, but you know me, I'm greedy. I cashed the check she'd sent me as a retainer without consulting my better judgment, gave the money to Effie to pay bills without batting an eye, borrowed a dime car fare from the corner newsboy without collateral and arrived in front of the Leggett mansion on Nob Hill without the foggiest. Notion of what I had been retained for.
Nora Charles
I'm Gertrude Leggett, Mr. Spade. It's about my stepdaughter, Gabrielle. She's been missing since the funeral.
Sam Spade
Whose funeral was that, Mrs. Leggett?
Nora Charles
My husband, Gabrielle's father. That was nearly three weeks ago. She came to me afterwards and said she was going down to Cassada, to our country place a few days. That she wanted to be alone with her grief. But I discovered that she never arrived at Cassada. Do I Make myself clear, Mr. Spade?
Sam Spade
Yeah, except for one thing. Why do you want her back?
Nora Charles
First, she may do something to disgrace me. She'll undoubtedly try her best to do so. Secondly, unless I get her signature to some papers in accordance with her father's will, I can't go on living in this house. Furthermore.
Sam Spade
That's okay. You've convinced me now. When she left, what did she take with her?
Nora Charles
Just one piece of light luggage and her liquor case. Of course. She drinks, you know. It's not my place to disapprove. I merely thought it might help you to know.
Sam Spade
Well, we could case all the bars in town, but it'll take a lot of time and a lot of money besides them on the wagon.
Nora Charles
Well, you might talk to Eric, my chauffeur. He drove her to the station, or says he did.
Sam Spade
Where do I find him?
Nora Charles
Let's see. 10 o', clock, he'll be loitering down the hall somewhere in the neighborhood of the linen closet, helping the upstairs maid fold the sheets. I'd knock first if I were you, and avoid embarrassment.
Sam Spade
Thanks for the tip. Oh, mind if I have a look at your stepdaughter's room?
Nora Charles
Eric will give you the key. I'm not allowed one.
Sam Spade
There he is.
Nora Charles
Excuse me, sir. Thank you for your kind assistance, Mr. Collinson.
Sam Spade
Okay, Myrtle.
Narrator/Announcer
Anytime. Yes, sir.
Sam Spade
You Eric Collinson?
Commercial Announcer
What can I do for you?
Sam Spade
I'd like the key to Ms. Gabrielle's room.
Narrator/Announcer
You the law?
Sam Spade
Why? You expecting some?
Narrator/Announcer
The old lady's been threatening the Yell Cop.
Sam Spade
She decided to whisper instead.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, Private Dick.
Sam Spade
You catch on fast, lover boy. Okay, I'll let you in her room. Come on. Mrs. Leggett says you drove Gabrielle to the station.
Narrator/Announcer
She says that, does she?
Sam Spade
Isn't that what you told her?
Narrator/Announcer
I'm not telling you what I told anyone.
Sam Spade
Search yourself. After you.
Narrator/Announcer
What's eating you?
Sam Spade
Nothing at all. Just want some privacy. Oh, now, wait a minute.
Commercial Announcer
I'm responsible.
Sam Spade
Go help Myrtle. Give me those keys.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, listen, you keep hi Let me in. So have your life.
Sam Spade
Her room was, shall we say, untidy. The mirrored dressing table was chipped around the edges and rains held a skelter. Across it. Between two polo pony bookends was a mess of books. Three odd volumes of the Harvard five foot shelf, a Horse Breeders Gazette and a bunch of detective novels. I picked one up and opened it to the title page. It was called Morgue Fruit and it was by Owen Fitzstephen, author of the Corpulent Cadaver, the Spindly Stiff and the Kiss Off. It was autographed to the author's great and good friend, the late Edgar Leggett. The signature looked familiar, but it didn't look like a lead. Neither did anything else in the room. I started to unlock the door with the key on the ring I grabbed away from Eric and the light caught the smooth side of a Christopher medal. It was engraved For Eric Forever Gabby. When Forever Eric went off duty that night, he went across town. The trail ended at a crummy broken down rooming house out in the Fillmore, let himself in with a key and climbed the stairs. I waited until he was out of sight. In more time than it takes to tell, the door cracked open and a nose that could only belong to a landlady razored out at me. She was gumming a sense in.
Nora Charles
What you want?
Sam Spade
They get settled in all right.
Nora Charles
They ain't nobody settling in on me.
Sam Spade
Never touch me. You got me wrong, Mom. I meant the newlyweds. Did they raise the rent money all right?
Nora Charles
Oh them. Raise it and spend it. She's a dick. Smither chops it up all day and throws the dead soldiers out the window and they call it a honeymoon. Who are you?
Sam Spade
I'm her ex husband, darling. I came to pay her the back alimony I owe her.
Nora Charles
Well, give it to me. I'll see she gets.
Commercial Announcer
Oh no you don't.
Nora Charles
No, no. Don't you come pushing in here.
Sam Spade
Quiet.
Nora Charles
It's after hours. Don't allow callers in here after 10 o'.
Narrator/Announcer
Clock.
Nora Charles
House rule.
Sam Spade
Shut up.
Nora Charles
Well, I don't.
Sam Spade
What's their room number? Now give it to me or I'll shake it out of you, darling.
Nora Charles
212.
Sam Spade
212.
Nora Charles
And if it weren't for these new uppers, I'd let you try it.
Sam Spade
Is that what those are? Thank you, Grand Duchess Marie.
Nora Charles
Smart Alec. No wonder you can't hang on to a woman.
Sam Spade
You're so right.
Nora Charles
You drove her to drink.
Sam Spade
I did not.
Nora Charles
Alimony. So good for you.
Narrator/Announcer
You is it?
Sam Spade
Western Union?
Narrator/Announcer
All right, let me.
Commercial Announcer
I. I told you to stay Away
Sam Spade
and I'll beat it.
Nora Charles
Eric, what is it?
Sam Spade
Look, Eric, I don't want any trouble, but I'm coming in.
Narrator/Announcer
Over my dead body. Get back in the room, Gabby.
Commercial Announcer
Now, look, I won't let you hurt her so.
Sam Spade
Now, look, Collinson, don't make me.
Narrator/Announcer
Don't.
Sam Spade
I don't want to.
Narrator/Announcer
Okay.
Sam Spade
I'm sorry.
Nora Charles
What have you done to.
Sam Spade
Nothing a bucket of cold water can't cure.
Narrator/Announcer
Sit down.
Sam Spade
I want to talk to you.
Nora Charles
Who are you?
Sam Spade
Sam Spade. I'm a private detective. Your stepmother hired me to find you.
Nora Charles
Oh. You know why she wants to find me, do you? She wants to kill me. She killed my father, now she'll kill me.
Sam Spade
Can you prove that?
Nora Charles
My father never had a day's illness in his life. She could drink three quarts of brandy in any evening. Do you believe a man like that could die of heart failure?
Sam Spade
Frankly, I could.
Nora Charles
Now she's starting the same kind of talk about me. She wants to railroad me to the insane asylum. Do I seem crazy to you?
Narrator/Announcer
No.
Sam Spade
A little nervous, maybe. This idea you have about your father's death. Talk some more, will you?
Nora Charles
All right, I'll tell you the whole thing, but I gotta have a drink first. Hey, I can't get the top off. Give me a hand, will you?
Sam Spade
Sure. You need a corkscrew for this one?
Nora Charles
Yeah. I think there's one down there in the cupboard.
Sam Spade
I don't see one.
Nora Charles
Back in the corner. Little farther. There.
Sam Spade
No, there's nothing.
Commercial Announcer
Hey.
Sam Spade
I dreamed I was a character in a detective story. The title of the story was Morgue Fruit. And the author, a man named Fitzstephen, was trying to figure out a way to turn me into a red herring before knocking off his number one suspect. I tried to tell him it's against the rules to make your detective a red herring. He said it was a new kind of murder yarn and it didn't matter anyway because there wasn't even a victim. That's what he thought.
Commercial Announcer
The makers of wild root cream oil are presenting the weekly Sunday adventure of Dashiell Hammett's famous private detective, Sam Spade. Now, here's important news on good grooming. If you want the well groomed look that helps you get ahead socially and on the job. Listen. Recently, thousands of people from coast to coast who bought wild root cream oil for the first time were asked, how does wild root cream oil compare with the hair tonic you previously used? The results were amazing. Better than four out of five who replied said they preferred wild root cream oil. Remember, non alcoholic Wild Root Cream Oil contains lanolin. And here's the announcement we promised you. Now you can get Wild Root Cream Oil, America's leading hair tonic, in a generous new 25 cent size. On sale at all drug and toilet goods counters. It's also available in larger economy bottles and the handy new tube get Wild Root Cream Oil again and again. The choice of men who put good grooming first. By the way, smart girls use Wild Root Cream Oil too. And mothers say it's grand for training children's hair. And now back to the critical author caper. Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade.
Sam Spade
When I came to, it had came to dawn and I was still a character of the detective story. And I felt more like a red herring than I had in my dream. I had dragged myself across my own trail and wound up no place. My quarry had fled, leaving nothing behind but empty bottles with fingerprints on them. I lifted the few and hustled over to the Bureau of Identification. Half an hour later, I got the report. They were mine, all mine. I wondered what a detective novelist would make of that. I decided to find out. I had met Owen Fitzstephen several years back in Seattle when I was digging dirt on a chain of fake mediums. He was plowing the same field for literary material, and we pulled forces. I got more out of the combination than he did, since he knew the spook right inside out. I cleaned up my job in a couple of weeks and we parted friends. His San Francisco apartment was on the sixth floor of the St Mark. He was standing at its door holding out a lean hand to greet me when I got there.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, you're looking fit, Sam. Little red in the face.
Sam Spade
That's the red herring I ate last night. How's the literary grip go?
Narrator/Announcer
You haven't been reading me? No.
Sam Spade
Where'd you get that funny idea?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, there was something in your tone. As in the voice of one who was bought an author for a couple of dollars. I suppose you're still hounding the unfortunate evildoer.
Sam Spade
Yeah, that's how I happened to look you up. You autographed a book for Edgar Leggett. Oh, yes, yes. Mog Fruit.
Narrator/Announcer
Distressingly prophetic.
Sam Spade
What do you know about that family?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, what have they been up to now?
Sam Spade
How well you know the girl, Gabrielle?
Narrator/Announcer
Quite well, since she's a duplicate of her father. She has brains, but there's something black in her. Something she doesn't want to think about but can't forget. She's a neurotic who keeps her body sensitive and ready. I Don't know what for while she drugs her mind with drink and lunatic notions. Yet she's cold and she's sane. If I had something I wanted to forget, I'd anesthetize my mind directly. Leave my body, stay strong and ready.
Sam Spade
I hope you don't think any of this stuff means anything to me.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, yes, I remember you now. You were always like that. Tell me what's up while I try to out figure find one syllable words for you.
Sam Spade
You know the fella that drives for him?
Narrator/Announcer
Eric? Well, he was released from Folsom in Leggett's custody when he was 18 years old.
Sam Spade
Murdered his father.
Narrator/Announcer
Nice kid. What about him?
Sam Spade
Mrs. Leggett hired me to find Gabrielle. I found her with Eric in a rooming house out in the Fillmore. She begged me to save her from her stepmother's murderous schemes. Then she knocked me cold.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, that's trivial dull. I've been thinking of the Leggett family in terms of Dumas. And you bring me a piece of Jim Crackery out of O. Henry while we're writing this, Gabrielle would kill her stepmother or dup Eric into doing it for her. No, that won't do. Not sufficient motive. Murder has to have a motive. You know why?
Sam Spade
She's insane, isn't she?
Narrator/Announcer
I wonder. Are you saying that carelessly or do you really think she's off?
Sam Spade
Well, I don't know. She's got a kind of a wild look about. Her eyes shift from green to brown and back without ever settling on one color. How much have you turned up on her in your snooping around, Owen?
Narrator/Announcer
You who make your living snooping, sneering at my curiosity about people and my attempts to satisfy.
Sam Spade
No, we're different, Owen. I do mine with the object of putting people in jail. And I get paid for it. Though not as much as I should.
Narrator/Announcer
But I do mine with the object of putting people in books. And I get paid for it. Though not as much as I should.
Sam Spade
Yeah, but what good does that do?
Narrator/Announcer
Well, what good does putting them in jail?
Sam Spade
Dude, I relieves concern. You put enough people in jail and cities wouldn't have any traffic problems in this part.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, then all you have to do is to wait till one of them kills the other and put the survivor in jail. Simple.
Sam Spade
Yeah, but who's gonna kill who?
Narrator/Announcer
Perhaps they both have plans. Both Gabrielle and her stepmother. Looks as if you'd have to guard both of them.
Sam Spade
I think I'll settle for my client. As far as Gabrielle's concerned, her husband ought to be able to watch out for her.
Narrator/Announcer
Her what?
Sam Spade
Husband. She and Eric got married.
Narrator/Announcer
Well, now, there you are. You didn't tell me anything about that. Lord knows how much else there is you haven't told me. Pardon me. Don't go away.
Sam Spade
Telegram. Sign here.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, thank you. There you are. Thank you, sir.
Sam Spade
Now I wonder what.
Narrator/Announcer
Good Lord, this is positively corny.
Sam Spade
Listen to this.
Narrator/Announcer
Spade, I appeal to you as a friend of my dead husband. Come immediately. Sunset Hotel, Quesada. Trouble. Danger. Do not communicate. Gabrielle must not know. Sign Gertrude Leggett. Spade?
Sam Spade
Yeah.
Narrator/Announcer
Did you have this wire sent to me as a prank?
Sam Spade
I was just going to ask you if you sent it to yourself as a prank.
Narrator/Announcer
I have it. The key to the whole thing. It's a red herring.
Sam Spade
I didn't think Fitzstephen would be able to hold out very long against his professional curiosity. And I didn't imagine he thought I would. I caught the next bus for Quesada. Quesada is a one hotel town pasted on the rocky side of a young mountain that slopes into the Pacific Ocean some 80 miles from San Francisco. I got there at 11. Something that night. Stepped down from the bus and crossed the street to the Sunset Hotel.
Narrator/Announcer
All right, all right.
Nora Charles
Keep your shirt on.
Sam Spade
Mrs. Leggett registered here.
Narrator/Announcer
What's your name?
Sam Spade
Owen Fitzstephen.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, she left a message for you. Said for you to wait right here and don't leave till she gets back.
Sam Spade
Yeah. She say where she was going?
Narrator/Announcer
Oh, it's probably over. Visiting with her daughter and new son in law. New?
Sam Spade
Over the. Through the COVID How do you get there?
Narrator/Announcer
Well, you'll never be able to find it at night. Unless you. You went all the way around by the east road. Not then, I'm sure, unless you knew the country.
Sam Spade
Well, how do you get there in the daytime?
Narrator/Announcer
Well, you go down the street, you take the fork on the ocean side and follow that up along the cliff. It's easily enough found in the daytime. But you. You never, never in the world.
Sam Spade
Yeah, okay. Okay. Heard you. So I waited until morning. Stupid me. I found the road out to the point that had never really been a road. The side of the ledge became steeper and steeper until the path was simply a narrow shelf on the face of the cliff. The cliff that sheared off 150ft or more to ravel out into the ocean. A breeze from the general direction of China was pushing fog over the top of the cliff, making a noisy lather of seawater at the bottom. Rounding a corner where the cliff was steepest I chucked my cigarette over the edge and watched it spin downwards. And that's when I saw it. I had to go waist deep into the Pacific to lift the body. I got my hands under the armpits, found solid ground for my feet and dragged it up beyond the high tide mark. It was Gertrude Leggett. Somebody came staggering down the beach to meet us.
Nora Charles
She dead?
Sam Spade
Yeah, Gabrielle, she's dead.
Nora Charles
Poho. The witch is dead. Hey, take me back to town, will you? Buy me a drink, huh?
Sam Spade
Sit down there. Sit down.
Nora Charles
What's the big idea? Don't you know I'm sick somehow?
Sam Spade
I don't think you're that sick. I think he could make some sense.
Nora Charles
Sense? That's a laugh. You don't know me. I've never been able to think clearly the way other people do. No matter what I try to think about, there's a fog that tries to get between me and it. You understand how horrible I can become going through life like this?
Sam Spade
Nobody thinks clearly, no matter what they pretend. Thinking's a dizzy business, a matter of catching as many of those foggy glimpses as you can and fitting them together the best you can. Trouble with you is you've been enjoying your misery. You've been so busy trying to prove that you're nuts, it's a wonder you haven't really driven yourself nuts.
Nora Charles
How do you know I haven't?
Sam Spade
Because you're too anxious to admit it.
Nora Charles
All right, I'm sane. If you want it that way. I'm just evil. There's something black inside me.
Sam Spade
What was that again?
Nora Charles
Something black. Everybody knows that about my family. My father, too.
Sam Spade
Who told you that?
Nora Charles
I always knew it. They say my real mother killed herself. But I know better. I know how to open the drawer where she keeps the gun. Every day, Gertrude lies on Mother's bed and we play Killing the Witch. And she comes in in the night and bends over my crib and she's changed herself so she looks like Mother instead of a witch. But I know better. And I hold up the gun with both hands. It's very hard to pull with both hands. It's very hard to pull the trigger. But I must do it or the witch will eat me up. And then there's a big noise and red all over. And I can't get out. I can't get out.
Sam Spade
Now, listen to me. You were beginning to make some sense. Now don't run away from it. Gertrude was lying on your mother's bed. That's your stepmother.
Nora Charles
Yeah, she. She was my Nurse. She married Father.
Sam Spade
Not so fast. How old were you when your mother died?
Nora Charles
Four, Four and a half.
Sam Spade
Did your father know about the game with a gun?
Nora Charles
No, I don't think so.
Sam Spade
Did anybody?
Nora Charles
Gertrude said I must never tell anyone because they'd send me away. And I never did, not till I grew up. I was with Owen Fitzstephen. I had a lot to drink, I told him. After that, he began seeing Gertrude when finally my father died. But it didn't do her any good because Owen really loved me.
Sam Spade
Now watch it. Now, let's get this straight. You'll have to straighten it out again later on with a doctor to help you. This is to help me? When you were a little child, Gertrude taught you that killing, that killing the witch game. To use you as a murder weapon against your mother. Then she filled you full of ideas of guilt and fear so you'd keep quiet about it. When you told the story to Owen, he blackmailed your stepmother into knocking off your father. That made you feel responsible for his death too, so you ran away.
Nora Charles
No. Gertrude's dead. I killed her too.
Sam Spade
You might, but I doubt it. Now try and remember. Was Owen up here tonight?
Nora Charles
I thought I heard his voice. But I hear voices sometimes. I'm hearing it again. Listen. Do you hear anything?
Sam Spade
I didn't hear anything but the wind and the beat of the surf at first. When I did hear the voice, I sent Gabby for a doctor before I investigated. It was pretty badly mangled in the rocks. He'd fallen nearly as far as he pushed Gertrude, but was still alive. And then it was comfortable as I could and finally he opened his eyes.
Narrator/Announcer
Hello, Sam.
Sam Spade
You messed yourself up good.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah. No more rocks for me.
Sam Spade
Not unless you make Alcatraz.
Narrator/Announcer
You know, I had half an idea when you came to see me in San Francisco that you were secretly nursing some exceptional idiotic theory.
Sam Spade
Thanks, Owen, but I never had any theory. Whole thing dropped into my lap.
Narrator/Announcer
Don't be too sure of that. On the standard present, I admit nothing. Later on, if I'm forced to, the very number of my crimes will be to my advantage. On the theory that nobody but a lunatic could have committed so many.
Sam Spade
Well, there's not so many. Only Gertrude, your co author of the murder of the late Edgar Leggett.
Narrator/Announcer
Nonsense. Crimes and crimes dating from the cradle. Even literature should help me.
Sam Spade
Not your own books.
Narrator/Announcer
Why not? Didn't the critics agree that the spindly stiff bore all the marks of authorial degeneracy? Evidence unto save my sweet neck and I shall wave my mangled Body at them. A ruin whose crimes and high heaven have surely brought sufficient punishment upon it.
Sam Spade
Yeah, you'll probably make a go of it. Legally, you're entitled to beat the jump if ever anybody was.
Narrator/Announcer
Legally? You mean insane. Tell me the truth, Sam. Am I?
Sam Spade
I think that's what they'll say.
Narrator/Announcer
But that spoils everything. It's no fun if I'm really cracked. No fun at.
Sam Spade
Period. And a report.
Nora Charles
Well, it just goes to show, doesn't it?
Sam Spade
Well, there you go again, Effie.
Nora Charles
I mean, if anything like that happened in real life, you wouldn't believe it.
Sam Spade
You mean, if anything like that happened in fiction?
Nora Charles
Oh, no. The author is never the guilty party.
Sam Spade
Well, this author was.
Nora Charles
But that's not fair. The author is never supposed to be guilty of.
Narrator/Announcer
You're right. You're right.
Nora Charles
I think he shouldn't be even a suspect. Maybe a red herring.
Sam Spade
But type that up, Effie.
Nora Charles
Oh, all right, Sam. Anything else, Sam?
Sam Spade
Yeah, phone the drugstore and order some red herring. I mean, some aspirin.
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Sam Spade
Come on in, freckle toes.
Nora Charles
Well, here it is, Sam. And I like it even better than Morgue Fruit.
Sam Spade
You did?
Nora Charles
I mean, it's not so realistic. I like a romantic type story myself, of atmosphere and psychology and those.
Sam Spade
Oh, you've got to have those.
Nora Charles
You really should be a writer, Sam.
Commercial Announcer
Right.
Sam Spade
You think so?
Nora Charles
Of course, detective stories don't pay much, but if you write enough of them and look at all the material you've got.
Sam Spade
No good. Never do for fiction.
Nora Charles
But, Sam, there's already that radio series, the Adventures of you Know who. Sunday Nights.
Sam Spade
That's what I mean. I don't make a penny out of it.
Nora Charles
Well, it's your own fault, Sam. I don't want to seem critical, but if you played your cards right, you could have owned a piece of that show.
Sam Spade
What, and follow blondie? Go home, Effie.
Nora Charles
I think I will, Sam. And just curl up with a good book.
Sam Spade
All right.
Nora Charles
I wonder who killed who.
Sam Spade
Well, when you find out, don't let me know.
Nora Charles
Oh, you know you can't way.
Sam Spade
Good night, sweetheart.
Commercial Announcer
The adventures of Sam Spade, Dashiell Hammett's famous private detective are produced and directed by William Spear. Sam Spade is played by Howard Duff. Loreen Tuttle is Effie. The adventures of Sam Spade are written for radio by Bob Tallman and Gil Dow. Musical direction is by Lud Gluskin with score composed by Renee Garaghan. Join us again next Sunday when author Dashiell Hammett and producer William Speer join forces for another adventure with Sam Spade, brought to you by Wild root Cream Oil again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. This is Dick Joy reminding you to get wild root cream oil, Charlie.
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It's made with soothing lanolin.
Commercial Announcer
You better get wild root cream oil, Charlie.
Narrator/Announcer
Start using it today.
Commercial Announcer
You'll find that you will have a
Sam Spade
tough time, Charlie, keeping all the gals away.
Commercial Announcer
Hiya, baldy. Get wild rude right away. This is cbs, the Columbia broadcasting System.
Host/Commentator
We just heard some of the radio stories of Dashiell Hammett. That will do it for this week's show. Thanks so much for joining me. I hope you'll be back next week for more old time radio detectives. In the meantime, you can check out stars on Suspense, my other old time radio podcast. New episodes of that show are out on Thursdays. If you like what you're hearing, don't be a stranger. You can rate and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. And if you'd like to lend support to the show, you can visit buymeacoffee.com meanstsotr I'll be back next week with more old time radio crime solvers. But until then, good night and happy listening, Sam.
Narrator/Announcer
Now here is our star, Vincent Price. Ladies and gentlemen. In a prejudice filled America, no one would be secure in his job, his business, his church or his home. Yet racial and religious antagonisms are exploited daily by quacks and adventurers whose followers make up the irresponsible lunatic fringe of American life. Refused to listen to or spread rumors against any race or religion. Help to stamp out prejudice in our country. Let's judge our neighbors by the character of their lives alone and not on the basis of their religion or origin.
Lux Radio Theatre, Suspense, The Fat Man, Academy Award, & The Adventures of Sam Spade
Originally aired May 10, 2026
This episode is a full-blooded tribute to Dashiell Hammett—a foundational figure in the hardboiled crime tradition—spotlighting how his stories and unforgettable characters shaped the golden age of radio drama. The host offers context on Hammett’s legacy, then presents a curated selection of old-time radio episodes adapted from (or inspired by) Hammett’s works, headlined by iconic detectives like Sam Spade and Nick & Nora Charles.
Celebrating Hammett’s enduring impact on detective fiction—through radio adaptations of The Thin Man, Two Sharp Knives, The Fat Man, The Maltese Falcon, and The Adventures of Sam Spade.
[00:58] Host/Commentator:
“He got the last laugh over his political prosecutors as The Maltese Falcon, The Thin Man, and his other stories will stand the test of time.” – Host [03:11]
The host signals that the episode will feature:
[07:11–61:00]
Starring William Powell & Myrna Loy, adapted by W.S. Van Dyke
[67:01–93:13]
Starring John Payne and Frank McHugh
[97:48–125:41]
Starring J. Scott Smart as Brad Runyon
[126:58–153:56]
Starring Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, and Sydney Greenstreet
[154:23–182:25] Howard Duff as Sam Spade
[184:13]
This episode blends classic noir entertainment with reflection on Hammett’s creative fingerprints across radio, literature, and American pop culture. Through affectionate parody and hardboiled homage, the host threads together a resounding argument: Hammett’s detectives will always have work to do—down these mean streets—where wisecracks, wiles, and weary heroes never go out of style.
| Time | Segment / Event | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:58 | Host contextualizes Hammett’s radio and real-life influence | | 07:11 | Start of The Thin Man (Lux Radio Theatre) | | 61:00 | Transition to “Two Sharp Knives” (Suspense) | | 97:48 | Start of The Fat Man (The 19th Pearl) | | 126:58 | The Maltese Falcon (Academy Award) begins | | 154:23 | The Adventures of Sam Spade—“The Critical Author Caper” begins | | 184:13 | Host’s conclusion and sign-off |