Duck Dynasty Appears in the Epstein Files for a Bizarre Reason

Summary

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Duck Call Room Podcast

Episode: Duck Dynasty Appears in the Epstein Files for a Bizarre Reason
Date: February 10, 2026
Hosts: Si Robertson, Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo

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Episode Overview

This episode is classic Duck Call Room: rowdy banter, stories from small-town Louisiana, hunting humor, pop culture tangents, and hilarious takes on everyday situations. Although the title teases a connection to the Epstein files, the actual mention is short and tongue-in-cheek. Most of the podcast is devoted to lively discussions about animals (zebras vs. horses, gorillas, dangerous livestock), childhood pranks, small-town mischief, frigid weather aftermaths, food preferences, and plenty of laugh-out-loud storytelling. The crew’s signature blend of nostalgia, ribbing, and genuine friendship is on full display.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Animals, Swords, and “What If Ducks Shot Back?”

[00:00 – 07:00]

• The group opens with a zany debate: which animal has the better “coat,” and why zebras never replaced horses in history.
• They joke about why people never rode zebras in battle—turns into talk about high ground advantages à la Obi-Wan Kenobi.
• Big Dave: “If duck shot back, it wouldn’t be near as fun.” [03:13]
• Jacob: “If animals hunted us like we hunt ducks, we’d be extinct.” [03:17]
• The group riffs on the TV show Zoo and why animal uprisings are (fortunately) fiction.

2. Gorillas, Jane Goodall, and Early ‘90s Humor

[04:46 – 07:45]

• Hunter shares seeing gorilla demonstrations at the zoo; everyone agrees gorillas are both fascinating and intimidating.
• Jane Goodall comes up as the iconic gorilla/chimpanzee expert (“she braver than me” – Hunter [05:11]).
• Nostalgia for ‘90s merchandise, especially Big Dog and Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) peeing-on-logos stickers, and the culture of “thumbing your nose” at rival truck brands.

3. The Infamous “Peeing on It” Segment

[07:45 – 10:40]

• The guys reminisce about etched-in-memory silly behaviors, like peeing in the snow to create art (or initials).
• J.D. tells a story about writing his “JD” in the ice with pee, raising medical concerns about its color (“You need to go to the doctor”—Jacob [08:40]).
• Leads into a “science” discussion: does cold or heat make you lose more weight? The group generally prefers heat to cold for survival but calls both rough.

4. Surviving the Deep Freeze & Small Town Life

[11:00 – 16:00]

• Swapping stories about surviving an intense ice storm, home gym solutions, strange ad targeting, thoughts on global warming, and Al Gore lore.
• Jacob: “He invented the Internet, Al Gore.” [13:59]

5. Duck Dynasty in the Epstein Files?

[14:06 – 14:21]

• Hunter breaks the tension later, dryly referencing the episode title:

  “The only thing in the files that made me laugh, apparently, oh boy watched Duck Dynasty once or twice. And somebody just ripped Shreveport a new one. So now I’m off the hook with my good Shreveport people because they said far worse things.” [14:06]

• The “bizarre reason” reference is brief and played mostly for laughs.

6. Shreveport Adventures: The Good, the Bad, the Tacos

[14:22 – 19:20]

• The crew riffs on Shreveport, with a wild detour to Big Dave’s story about witnessing a shooting at a Goodwill parking lot (“Zebras were more fun to talk about.”—Hunter [15:22]).
• Balances with favorite food stops (Superior Mexican Restaurant, Southern Maid Donuts) and encounters with local celebs like John Crist.
• Family stories abound: childhood memories of Willie being a “menace to society,” gravel-in-mouth punishments, grudges over eating in the car.

7. Cookie Wars & Food Hot Takes

[26:27 – 34:09]

• Jacob passionately defends oatmeal raisin cookies (“That’s the only good cookie!” [28:12]), much to the group’s shock.
• The great debate covers pickles, raisins (“those little red boxes of turd” – Hunter [27:33]), and the sacredness of Dairy Queen and diner culture.
• They reminisce about Dairy Queen’s popularity and rising prices (“Last time I went and got a blizzard, it was like seven bucks. I now like this, can’t.”—David [35:00])

8. Survival Tactics and Ice Storm Aftermath

[35:15 – 40:41]

• The community response to the storm—trouble with roundabouts when iced over, challenges of four-way stops, and handling utility outages.
• Proposals include buying a local snowplow or even an “army mobile flamethrower” to clear ice (Jacob: “Have a tank with a flamethrower, hey, just burning the roads” [40:42]).
• Laments about unprepared infrastructure and the persistent threat of downed limbs.

9. Listener Emails: Dumb Crimes & Small-Town Schemes

[42:28 – 47:01]

• Hunter reads emails about bizarre police encounters:
  • Woman complains to the police after being sold fake drugs (“She wanted her money back from fake cocaine” [43:39]).
  • Recent checkbook scam—someone tries to outfit an entire fishing operation using hot checks, finally caught due to poor fashion choices in an ombre shirt.
  • Group laughs about the “crime of the world’s ugliest shirt.” [47:03]

10. Closing Thoughts, Faith, and Brotherhood

[51:02 – 51:20]

• They end on a reflective note with a reading from Psalm 18:1–2:

  “I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer… my stronghold.” [51:04]

• Closing reminder of their long-standing camaraderie and faith at the heart of the show.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Big Dave on animal revolts:
  “If duck shot back, it wouldn’t be near as fun.” [03:13]
• Jacob on animal retribution:
  “If animals hunted us like we hunt ducks, we’d be extinct.” [03:17]
• Hunter, joking about internet accuracy:
  “He invented the Internet, Al Gore.” [13:59]
• Hunter, about being named in the Epstein files:
  “The only thing in the files that made me laugh, apparently, oh boy watched Duck Dynasty once or twice. And somebody just ripped Shreveport a new one.” [14:06]
• Hunter, on Dairy Queen nostalgia:
  “There was no better announcement in the world than after a baseball game... 'Hey, we’re going to Dairy Queen now.'” [33:28]
• Jacob, on cookie heresy:
  “That’s the only good cookie.” [28:12] (referring to oatmeal raisin)
• David, tongue-in-cheek on ice storms:
  “At least if you freeze to death, I know I’m gonna be numb at a certain point.” [11:01]
• Jacob, on survival skills:
  “We should start a fund and get like a snowplow... we got none. They were out there running motor graders at the speed of smell.” [39:20]
• Big Dave, on criminal fashion:
  “He’s the only person on God’s earth that ever went into Dillard’s and bought that thing. Like, you know what I want? I think white on top, blue on bottom. No, just the shirt. I need white to navy.” [47:50]

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Overall Vibe & Takeaways

This episode is quintessential Duck Call Room: It’s about living through hard freezes, eating too many pickles, enduring the oddities of small-town life, poking fun at each other’s families, and delighting in the shared absurdities of rural Louisiana culture. The crew expertly balances nostalgia, gentle ribbing, and insightful moments about community, loyalty, and faith—anchoring even the silliest conversation in the deep friendship that keeps people tuning in.

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Quick Reference: Major Segments (Timestamps)

• Zebras, horses, & animal uprisings — [00:00 – 07:00]
• Gorillas, Jane Goodall, 90s pop culture — [04:46 – 07:45]
• “Peeing on it” & cold survival — [07:45 – 10:40]
• DQ & childhood food stories — [26:27 – 34:09]
• Check fraud, small-town crime — [42:28 – 47:01]
• Listener email & Psalm reflection — [51:02 – 51:20]

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Classic moment:
Hunter: “What a winding road we took today.” [49:50]
David: “Always.” [49:53]

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If you love the Duck Dynasty family’s dry wit, country wisdom, and meandering, laughter-filled storytelling, this is an episode you’ll want to catch—or revisit.

Transcript

[Jacob]

Foreign's got a better coat.

[Big Dave]

I put him to use.

[Hunter]

He's still stuck on the zebra. A zebra's got a better coat.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Dave]

Than what?

[Jacob]

Than what?

[Hunter]

But imagine. Okay, actually, here's what we. We gotta go back. But.

[Jacob]

But escape prison.

[Hunter]

We got horses because we were riding around with swords stabbing people. You wouldn't want to be on a zebra when somebody else is on a horse.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Eye level, your mic's head down again. Because why not? You got to have the high ground.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Obi Wan Kenobi taught us that. Thank you, Hunter.

[David]

Oh, did Josie Wells.

[Hunter]

Yeah. You want to be. You want to stay. If you're in a sword fight, you want to go down. Adam, you don't want to be stabbing up.

[Jacob]

No.

[Hunter]

That's how you lose arms.

[Big Dave]

You're gonna be stabbing the zebra or somebody's stomach instead of the person.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Big Dave]

Cutting the guts out of a horse.

[Hunter]

If me and you were in a sword fight, you'd rather be on a zebra and I on a horse.

[David]

You're gonna lose that one.

[Jacob]

No, I don't want to be.

[Big Dave]

David's gonna be on a Clyde's day.

[Jacob]

I want a gun. I don't.

[David]

I don't.

[Hunter]

I was gonna say I don't like being cut. I'm gonna be in a side by side.

[David]

We ain't going back to the middle Ages. We're gonna stick to right here.

[Hunter]

But that's got to be why they just stuck with horse.

[Jacob]

I want me. I want me at least a six shooter.

[David]

Well, I think they probably stuck with horses because horses are what we had.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, but.

[David]

Right.

[Big Dave]

Like, they know zebras.

[David]

If there were zebras in Europe in the Middle Ages, then they would have probably tried to domesticate them.

[Hunter]

How many zebras?

[Jacob]

Well, that's what. I don't understand why the people of Africa didn't try to domesticate.

[Hunter]

Because they use camels.

[David]

Yeah, they had camels. They didn't have to.

[Hunter]

That's crazy.

[David]

Have a zebra.

[Hunter]

There's half a million zebras in the world.

[David]

They had something that would. That would already haul the load.

[Jacob]

Desert ship.

[David]

And it was a lot.

[Hunter]

I'm.

[David]

I'm assuming when I look at a camel and a zebra, a camel just seems more user friendly. Like, I mean, you can sit between them. Hump. Yeah. And he seems. He's a lot more chill. Like, he doesn't.

[Hunter]

That one out at that safari park ain't chill.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Right up to you and try and take your snack. Take it right out your hand.

[David]

Eat the whole thing. Well, yeah, he's been trained.

[Big Dave]

Spit on you.

[Hunter]

So there's half a million zebras in the whole world. How many horses do you think there are?

[Big Dave]

Five. Male.

[Jacob]

Wait, yeah, there's.

[Hunter]

There's 60 million horses.

[David]

Jeez.

[Hunter]

Yeah, it's probably why they went with horses.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, there's way more.

[David]

Way more of them.

[Hunter]

Kind of like chicken.

[Jacob]

Well, yeah, but while we eat it. Hey, both of them. Both of them are dangerous.

[Hunter]

I ain't getting on no horses.

[David]

I don't trust either one of them.

[Jacob]

No, I'm saying they're dangerous.

[Hunter]

Yeah, you think you're in charge, but. And luckily, the horse does, too. But as soon as the horse realizes he's in charge, it's over for you.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hunter]

They made a TV show about that one time where the. Where the animals were like, wait a second. We're bigger, faster, and stronger than all these humans and started fighting back. I think it totally failed, but it's a great movie idea.

[Jacob]

It depends on the human being who's training them.

[David]

Planet of the Apes.

[Hunter]

No.

[Big Dave]

Do y' all remember, like, that does? I don't know if there's a game. There was definitely, like, some stuff where, like, the animals hunted the humans, and that was, like, a joke back in the, like, early 2000s.

[David]

I've always said, if duck shot back, it wouldn't be near as fun.

[Big Dave]

No.

[Jacob]

Oh, no. Hey. No, no, no. Because I always said, hey, if animals hunted us like we hunt ducks, we be extinct.

[Hunter]

Yeah. It was a whole TV show called Zoo back in 2000. It didn't make it very long, but the animals had said, what if they decided to take it back? And then they just started fighting all of us for no reason. Well, probably because we've been eating them for so long.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[David]

But until them animals get a thumb and possess a firearm, it's going to be a bad deal for them.

[Hunter]

A lot of them animals have thumbs.

[Jacob]

Gorillas.

[Big Dave]

Who's hunting gorillas?

[David]

Yeah, like, he gonna sneak up on you.

[Hunter]

You ever seen a gorilla?

[David]

Yeah, but he sneak up on me.

[Hunter]

One of the best days of my life. We. When Carter was in the nicu, we would just. We were right beside the New Orleans Zoo, and, you know, sometimes we just had to get out of there. It was like, carter, we'd take you, but you know, we can't. You need all these wires right now. One day we'll go back and I walked out there, and they're like, we're going to do a demonstration with the gorillas. And they just started throwing fruits and vegetables, these suckers and they were just snagging them and then, like, biting a whole head of lettuce. I was enthralled.

[David]

Oh, I was hoping they'd throw them back.

[Big Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Hunter]

I wonder how fast the gorilla could throw a head of lettuce back at the crowd.

[David]

Well, he ain't got no arm.

[Jacob]

He could throw a. He could throw a head of lettuce, and he could throw you as far as he threw us at. Head of lettuce.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

I haven't been to a zoo. I used to. We used to be. You talking about a brute and gorillas.

[Jacob]

Silverback gorilla, always.

[Hunter]

My favorite is a brute.

[Big Dave]

I believe it.

[Jacob]

He's like the grizzly bear. That sucker's bad to the bone.

[Hunter]

Have they ever trained a gorilla? I don't think so.

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That lady. There's some lady. No, no, look. There's some ladies that lived with them.

[David]

You call them Jane Goodall? That's what he's talking about.

[Jacob]

Yeah. She lived with them and. And interacted with them.

[Hunter]

She braver than me.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

I watched one episode of that TV show Zoo. I said, I'm out as soon as they figure it out. Man.

[Jacob]

I just looked at a grizzly bear. I mean, silverback.

[David]

That's like 1992. That's like. That's Jeff Foxworthy. You might be a redneck.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, we're having.

[Hunter]

We're doing the whole separate conversation thing again.

[David]

It's about animals hunting. It's deer sitting by fireplace with a human over the fireplace.

[Hunter]

Oh, they used to sell that at that big dog store.

[Big Dave]

Exactly, exactly.

[David]

That's why I said early 90s humor.

[Hunter]

Jacob, do you sell any big dog T shirts? I have. You remember them things?

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

If you can't run with the big.

[David]

Dogs on the porch.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hunter]

I had a buddy, y' all know. You know Jake Humble. He hunts out there all around y'.

[David]

All.

[Hunter]

Well, I come.

[David]

Yeah, he on the south side.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah, we own the north.

[Hunter]

But. But that sucker used to wear a big dog T shirt every day to the third and fourth grade.

[David]

I missed the no fear stuff. Yeah, like, all the no fear stickers and fear this and all that stuff like that was always. Yeah, it was. Always made me giggle.

[Big Dave]

There's a bunch of shirts like that where there'll be, like, a guy sitting on a tree with a gun, and he's asleep, and there'll be the deer or in hunting clothes coming after to get.

[David]

Whatever happened. That old boy that peed on everything thing. You remember him?

[Hunter]

Somebody finally whooped his butt.

[Big Dave]

Did he Peed on everything.

[David]

No. You know the story.

[Hunter]

Old enough for that.

[Big Dave]

Are you talking about like the same. What's a hot rod? The movie where he pulls up the tattoo and it's like the guys, the kids peeing.

[Hunter]

It was Calvin.

[David]

Calvin and Hobbs.

[Hunter]

Yeah, they. They remade him. And he was always peeing on Fords on the back of Chevy. And he was peeing on Chevy's on the back of Fords. And I'm like, can't we just all just buy a truck for the right price and get along?

[David]

We need to bring him back. Yeah. Start peeing on stuff again.

[Hunter]

I'm really against that.

[David]

That's gross.

[Big Dave]

We could.

[David]

I says it all the time. Piss on it. Mean we might as well.

[Hunter]

Let's.

[David]

Let's redo it with s peeing on.

[Big Dave]

Something and make him a miniature person like Calvin.

[David]

Yeah.

[Big Dave]

Make little miniature bearded man peeing.

[David]

I bet Chat GPT can do a. You. We could tell it to make a mini S. Robertson. Peeing on whatever we wanted to.

[Jacob]

You don't like it, piss on it.

[Hunter]

Look, this was on the back. That could be the.

[David]

And we're not even talking about the Epstein files or the R. Kelly files.

[Hunter]

That was on the back. You can't say that that was on the back of every Chevrolet in this town.

[Big Dave]

We can make that a sign. He's like peeing on deer hunting and then has a duck hunting hat on or something.

[David]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[Hunter]

Why did we do that?

[David]

I don't know. Why did it go away?

[Big Dave]

I don't know.

[Hunter]

For very good reason.

[Jacob]

On limb of oak tree. And a deer walks out. And when he looks up, you pissed in.

[David]

See, I mean, peeing. Peeing on stuff like is a little. I mean, I just see my boys, they like peeing on stuff, so. I get it.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

You saw the pictures I kept sending you over.

[David]

You wrote your initials in the snow.

[Hunter]

So every well we were out of water. So when it iced, I went to the same place to pee every time. And I carved a deep JD in the eyes. It was good looking.

[David]

Yeah, that's why I said it was a concerning color too.

[Hunter]

Yeah. We got to the mud. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm good.

[David]

I thought he may have been in kidney failure. I didn't know what that was about.

[Hunter]

That was just the rocks underneath bleeding through.

[David]

I was like, oh man, that does not look good.

[Hunter]

I literally. I was like, I got nothing better better to do. I'm just gonna at least make some.

[Big Dave]

Art out of this marker.

[Hunter]

Look at that side.

[Jacob]

J.D. he wrote his name, I wrote my name.

[David]

It was something.

[Big Dave]

They don't teach you that in grade.

[David]

School with the ice. It was something.

[Jacob]

You need to go to the doctor.

[Hunter]

Wow.

[David]

That. It is a weird color.

[Jacob]

Your color ain't right.

[Hunter]

That's the mud from underneath.

[Jacob]

No coloring.

[Big Dave]

Right.

[David]

What color is.

[Big Dave]

Was clear.

[David]

It's kind of a brownish. But I. I get it if it's the dirt underneath the dirt, but that's.

[Big Dave]

How often I had to go, you got dirt underneath?

[Hunter]

I was getting my hair cut this morning. Goes, how'd you make it? I said, well, I was so cold every morning, and I'd seen so many movies about our friends from Wisconsin. I said, I'm just gonna try this diet they're on.

[David]

Yeah, it worked.

[Hunter]

I lost seven pounds in seven days over that. Why did you lose weight when it was. Do you lose weight when it's cold outside?

[Big Dave]

Yeah, when you. When it's colder, your body burns more calories trying to keep up with your body temperature.

[Hunter]

I thought it would be better if it was hot outside.

[Big Dave]

No, sweat's a myth.

[David]

Well, both.

[Hunter]

Both a myth.

[Big Dave]

No, I just mean it doesn't equate to calories.

[David]

I would bet that both of them equal to a loss in water weight because, like, when you're sitting there not doing anything, you're not drinking water either, because you're not. You're not thinking, I need to stay hydrated through this. I'm back.

[Hunter]

I'm back. Down, baby. I was trying to get down. And what would be worse? Got me.

[Jacob]

Or cold?

[Big Dave]

What are you talking about? Just in general, like, over time. I think being cold over time would maybe be worse.

[David]

Yeah, maybe.

[Hunter]

Ain't no thinking, ain't no doubt.

[Jacob]

Yeah. But I'm telling your body metabolism, you'd.

[Big Dave]

Be way more hungry.

[Jacob]

Okay. Because you're losing water.

[David]

Right.

[Jacob]

And then when you're. When you're cold, I don't know what you.

[David]

You're losing water, too, because you don't think to drink it, because you're not.

[Big Dave]

Doing anything if you don't have any fuel when you're cold, your body's gonna run out of carbohydrates and fats to heat your body up.

[Hunter]

That water was too cold to drink anyway. Everything I had was freezing.

[Jacob]

I would rather, you know. Well, no, I can't say.

[David]

I had that weird deal. You know, like, went duck.

[Big Dave]

You're gonna say you'd rather have a heat stroke.

[Jacob]

I would. Or like, I just know, yo, if I was in a building and, like, it Was on fire. Yeah. And I don't care how many stories up before I would burn death. Hey, I just want to dive.

[Hunter]

Well, hold on. We're talking like Fahrenheit.

[Jacob]

I ain't going up.

[David]

No, we're just talking about, I think.

[Hunter]

Burning up 10 degrees versus 100 degrees.

[Big Dave]

No, I think I'd rather.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

All the people that keep saying you can put on more layers. Let me tell you something that ain't true.

[Big Dave]

Hey, I'll tell you this, though.

[Hunter]

I don't believe it.

[Big Dave]

If you freeze to death, at least I know I'm gonna be numb at a certain point.

[David]

You know what? I'd actually go to the gym if you didn't have to go to the gym. And that's where our friends over at Tonal, that's why they make so much sense, because you can do everything at home. Plus, it's smart. Compact Tonal is the convenience of a full gym and the guidance of a personal trainer all from the comfort of your home. Praise God.

[Hunter]

Amen. You. Hey, look, you're going to spend as much on gas and time to get to the gym and this is just right there at your house.

[David]

Yeah. And now all the uncomfortable conversations are just in your head.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[David]

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[Hunter]

I had to figure out a home gym situation to lose weight because I knew I was never going somewhere. So If I got 20 minutes of the house, I can go hit a workout in the. Tonal would be legit.

[David]

Right now, tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code DUCK. That's Tonal.com and use promo code DUCK for $200 off your purchase. That's T O N A L.com promo code DUCK for $200 OFF. I was way. I'll just say this. I was way more comfortable when the hurricanes come through and ripped us apart and we were without for like a week than I.

[Hunter]

Sweat with the best of them.

[David]

Yeah, because like, eventually, you know, you could just Hide in the shade. I mean, you weren't comfortable, but you were okay. Yeah.

[Jacob]

You have better options.

[David]

Yeah. There's really do.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

With the heat.

[David]

Right.

[Jacob]

You get in water and cool off a little bit.

[Hunter]

I'm a little worried too, though.

[Jacob]

Well, the other way, if you're freezing.

[Hunter]

Now, you know how you get those ads?

[Jacob]

You can't run. You can't hide from it.

[Big Dave]

It's freezing.

[Jacob]

Yeah. You freeze it.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

But you know how you get those ads that. Like, how do they know? I got ad for building a house in neighborhood just outside of Orlando the other day, I was like, how. You know, I've been thinking this for a week.

[David]

All my ads are just straight generators like Generac. I mean, you name it. I have gotten an ad on social media for every generator company. Most of them I ain't ever even heard of.

[Hunter]

Mine's just realtors and other things to move south. They're like, you don't belong that far north. I20 is not even safe anymore. Global warming has put us in such a bad spot. I gotta move south like a duck.

[Big Dave]

That's.

[David]

Oh, man.

[Hunter]

Whatever happened to global warming, by the way?

[Big Dave]

It's a myth.

[Jacob]

I think it wanna ask, though, what's your name?

[Big Dave]

I think it's a mess.

[Jacob]

I can't remember who was pushing that. He was one. Al Gore, everyone.

[Hunter]

He invented the Internet, Al Gore.

[David]

Did he? I bet he. And then fire.

[Jacob]

Yeah, Al Gore, that's who.

[Hunter]

You gotta stop with the files, man.

[David]

Well, I mean, they're out.

[Hunter]

The only thing in the files that made me laugh, apparently. Oh, boy. Watch Duck Dynasty once or twice. And somebody just ripped Shreveport a new one. So now I'm off the hook with my good Shreveport people because they said far worse things.

[David]

Oh, man.

[Big Dave]

Why do you. You don't like Shreveport?

[Hunter]

I can't talk about it anymore.

[Jacob]

No.

[Big Dave]

Did I tell you about my Shreveport, Chicago?

[Hunter]

Love to hear it.

[Big Dave]

That I watched somebody get shot in the parking lot of a Goodwill. Straight up. I didn't tell y' all that. No, it's like four, four or three years ago, I went to a Goodwill. There's a Goodwill out there that's like. There's a thing called Goodwill bins. And essentially, like, all the discarded stuff are overstock of stuff they'll put in a bin, and then you buy it per pound, like at a Goodwill. They have one in Shreveport. And when we were doing the blind and we filmed it in Shreveport, I was out there a lot. And so I met some friends that were in the vintage business and they Went there a lot, so I would go there on a regular basis. What opens at 10 o'?

[Jacob]

Clock?

[Big Dave]

I got there at 10 o', clock, and when I walked in the door, literally walked in the door, all you hear is like, it sounded like something falling off the back of an 18 wheeler.

[David]

Just like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

[Big Dave]

And we turned around and everybody was running into the building. And I watched a dude run across the parking lot and right, like 50 yards from my truck, just fall over. And we had to like, stay in there and the dude died.

[Hunter]

You know, zebras were more fun to talk about.

[Big Dave]

No, I'm just saying.

[David]

Wow, that took turns out.

[Big Dave]

It was.

[David]

I thought we, like, got shot by a flesh wound. I, like, ran and bled out.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, he passed away in that parking lot couple hours later.

[Hunter]

That is a rough story.

[Big Dave]

Well, I thought we were talking about Shreveport.

[Hunter]

What's that got to do with. I shouldn't laugh? Father, forgive me. No, I mean, I don't know how to.

[David]

I don't know how.

[Big Dave]

I just thought you said you had a bad experience, Shreveport.

[David]

Well, I was like.

[Big Dave]

I got one.

[Hunter]

Mine was like a dirty bathroom.

[Big Dave]

Mine was for real.

[Hunter]

Oh, I don't go to those parts of town.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

AKA all of it. I'm just kidding. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Big Dave]

Hey, but, well, you know, we do like about Shreveport.

[David]

Superior.

[Hunter]

I love it. Greatest Mexican restaurant in the world, I'll say that. In Shreveport, Louisiana.

[David]

It's a good one.

[Big Dave]

It is up There you go. Hey, you go there.

[Hunter]

It makes me happy when I'm sad.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, you go to Superior and then you go to a little concert at the Brookshire's Arena. There you go. Make sure you part a little better.

[David]

The last time we were there, we just went and saw Mr. Chris did the theater downtown, which I didn't know existed, but I do now.

[Big Dave]

Chris.

[Hunter]

John.

[David]

John. Chris.

[Big Dave]

Oh, John.

[David]

Friend of the podcast.

[Hunter]

Friend of the podcast. Personal friend of mine.

[David]

Yeah, he hadn't fired off in the group text lately. He getting he wedding planning.

[Big Dave]

So is he getting married?

[David]

Leave him alone.

[Big Dave]

Does he like Shreveport?

[David]

Yeah, I guess he seemed to, but he made fun of it. Like, they all, like all comedians.

[Hunter]

Comedians are allowed to make fun of towns. Podcasters aren't. That's what we learned, probably.

[Jacob]

Thing Southern bay donut.

[Big Dave]

Well, they got that too.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I got a lot of good things. I lived in Bossier for Allison Noel Watson. They. They created her, and I'm appreciative of that place.

[David]

You just don't want to go back.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I rescued her.

[David]

So A refugee.

[Hunter]

Hey, I wish. I'll say this last week, I wish my butt was in shrimp.

[David]

Yeah, they had power.

[Hunter]

I would have been there. Monroe. Suck.

[David]

Yeah, suck on that. Y' all always talking about us.

[Hunter]

Shreveport have a zoo, or is that just us?

[Big Dave]

I would think so, right?

[Hunter]

Their aquarium's actually legit.

[Big Dave]

Is it Southern Maid or Taco Bell? About y' all bound to hurt the time out.

[Hunter]

What are those things?

[Big Dave]

Don't go. Let me say they're not in the same. It's a story. I'm not trying to tell the story wrong, but I feel like y' all would know the story about Willie with Randy Kirby in the car getting Southern made or Taco Bell and he didn't let him eat it in the car. And so for a long time he had beef because he made him ride the whole car, not eat his food in the car. But I thought it was Southern made entry port. They were coming back from somewhere and.

[Hunter]

I just, actually just gave me maybe the greatest segment of all time idea.

[Big Dave]

Well, here we are.

[Hunter]

We invite people that knew Willie when he was 18 to 25 to come tell the truth about Willie.

[Big Dave]

That would be a great deal because.

[Hunter]

Randy would let him eat in his truck. Big Dave shot a nail gun at him. Johnny tried to run him all the way out of town.

[Big Dave]

Oh, Ron Howard, he punched him in the face.

[Hunter]

Will he punch Ron Howard in the face?

[Big Dave]

Yeah, when he was like, 17. Like when Willie and when Corey and Willie just got married. Like a Thanksgiving, they're, like, playing basketball and he got a little rough and supposedly he just. He didn't punch him in the face. Punch him in the chest.

[Hunter]

Oh, yeah. That's a true story.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

That's my cousin. Yeah.

[David]

You should have been there, Willie.

[Hunter]

I was a kid.

[Big Dave]

I'm telling you, Willie has some crazy stories.

[Hunter]

Have you ever heard he didn't really fit in to the neighborhood for a while?

[Jacob]

No.

[Big Dave]

Did he sound like a menace to society? You know, one time he shoved gravel in Gimbal's mouth. Yep. Like when he's like a little kid, my shove gravel my mouth, I'd be pretty upset.

[Hunter]

Well, Gimba cut all of Willy's baseball cards in half, and Willie ran him down the road, crackled him and started shoving dirt and rocks into his mouth.

[Big Dave]

Think about that. That is just awful punishment, Gamber.

[David]

My hats off to you for cutting the baseball john.

[Hunter]

Oh, no, we could. There could be a whole podcast on people. You probably have some wild Willie stories from when he was. Well, were you in the army back when Willie Was just a menace to society.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Good for you.

[David]

Yeah. He wasn't around.

[Jacob]

I wasn't around.

[Hunter]

I would. I mean, Willie was the kind of guy.

[Big Dave]

Get in here on that to mama.

[Hunter]

Oh, she'd have some.

[Big Dave]

She has some stories about Willie.

[David]

Why. Why would Randy not let him eat in his car?

[Hunter]

Have you seen a mate? Yeah, he looks like me when he eats.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

But somebody wouldn't let me eat in their car. I'd be like, I get it.

[Big Dave]

But it's just funny because he, like, you know, I will used to hold grudges or stuff.

[David]

Like used to.

[Big Dave]

I mean, I don't.

[Hunter]

It used to.

[Big Dave]

Okay. He could still do it. I'm not.

[Hunter]

I don't.

[Big Dave]

I'm not personally.

[David]

He's still talks to Johnny D About canceling lobster.

[Hunter]

Like Willie never.

[Big Dave]

He never forgets.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

He's like an elephant. But short term.

[David]

Short term memory, not great. Long term memory, phenomenal.

[Big Dave]

There should be a scientific study on those.

[Hunter]

We should bring in Johnny Big Dave.

[Big Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Hunter]

Everybody, everybody.

[David]

Anybody that we need to find his youth group.

[Hunter]

Ooh, Zach Stevens, who was his closest.

[Big Dave]

Friend when he was young.

[Hunter]

Like, didn't have any.

[David]

Himself.

[Hunter]

Rocks in people's mouth, really.

[Big Dave]

I mean, I don't know.

[David]

I'm just saying himself.

[Hunter]

I don't know.

[Big Dave]

I didn't know if he was, like, close to anybody.

[David]

Nothing. I remember my dad literally shot a.

[Hunter]

Nail gun at him.

[Big Dave]

Zach dash wrestling. Pretty funny stories multiple times Back in them days.

[Jacob]

It was. It was. It was so many pranks.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Everybody pulled so many pranks.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Pranks were.

[Jacob]

My mother. My mother used to. Grandpa would go out and check his garden every morning, right? And he wore old big leather boots he slipped on. And after he would check the garden, My mama would go out and steal one of his watermelons. And he couldn't figure out how she was doing it. Well, he'd go take a nap, she'd slip in there, get his boots, slip them on, and walk in his footsteps as he checked the garden. Pumping watermelon till she found the right one. She wanted to eat and steal it, Go eat it, and then go put his boot back. You know, it drove me insane, so.

[David]

Oh. That way she couldn't be tracked.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[David]

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[Hunter]

I went down to my pond yesterday to count how many trees fell into it. Down there at the corner is me, Jeff and Big Dave.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I think we were at set.

[Hunter]

But there were a bunch of footprints in the snow, in the ice and.

[David]

Yeah, we ain't got no snow whatever.

[Hunter]

Any of this snow. Snow's fun. But I was like, who was down here?

[Jacob]

Who's down?

[David]

Who was?

[Big Dave]

And then I don't know, I couldn't.

[Hunter]

Follow the tracks long enough.

[Big Dave]

And then Detective Johnny D, I was.

[Hunter]

Like, that is actually be kind of cool to live up north for a couple days. Just follow people around.

[Jacob]

Well, set some traps.

[David]

Yeah, yeah. Tracking stuff. And that got pretty easy except when it got real hard. Like I noticed when Jude would go out, she wouldn't even leave a trace. You wouldn't even know where she was.

[Hunter]

Once it was an ice rink, you.

[Big Dave]

Were just running on it harder.

[Hunter]

Cement. You still got ice.

[David]

Oh yeah. Even after the rain. I thought the rain would get rid of all of it, but it's. It's not. And like under the pine straw and the flower bed still like rock hard. Hard. Like it's incredible. Like it's like the ground is frozen.

[Hunter]

Up and people live in that.

[David]

That used to live in it. And I know they're saying, well, y' all choose to live in 110. Absolutely.

[Hunter]

There's Canadians in this world. And I just don't get it.

[David]

Yeah, I don't like people that live.

[Big Dave]

In Minnesota don't get it.

[Hunter]

It's like, that's why they're all so mad. They're just cold.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, I would be mad too.

[Hunter]

Yeah, Just walk out pissed off every day.

[Big Dave]

Yeah. Why do you think they're so mad?

[Hunter]

I belong in with Jimmy Buffett's lifestyle. I truly believe that I was made to live that life.

[David]

He's an island boy.

[Hunter]

Yeah. Give me some water. Boat. Just let me.

[Jacob]

You want to be a beach bump?

[Hunter]

Not necessarily a beach bum.

[Jacob]

Yes. What? Jimmy Buffett.

[Hunter]

Well, yeah, but, like, I could skip the whole beach part. Like, just put me on the dock over the water, and I'm good. I don't need the sand. I don't like sand.

[Big Dave]

I don't either.

[David]

Yeah, you're good. Except for once every two or three years, one of her.

[Jacob]

Everybody. Everybody headed to the beach in the summertime and asked Field to go. Phil says you lost your mind going down there, Phil.

[Hunter]

Now, Phil would say sand in every orifice in your body.

[David]

And my boys love sitting on a me boys standpoint playing I don't get it. I don't even like cleaning it off of them. No, it's the grit of sand. I'm like, this toes them down.

[Hunter]

Speaking of, what are we. Are we past? I was giving you advice a few months ago. Like, if they poop their pants, just hose them down.

[David]

Oh, they still do it from time to time, but for the most part, I mean, it's not.

[Hunter]

I haven't checked in on you, like.

[David]

No, it's not intentional anymore. It's not just a willful disobedience to the potty. Just sometimes when they're playing, they don't stop. Hey, me just crap your pants and go.

[Hunter]

I mean, everybody.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

So you're out of the diaper phase for the most.

[David]

Yeah, they don't wear diaper. They just wear a diaper at night.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, to get through the night.

[Hunter]

What a magical time.

[David]

Oh, yeah. Now a box of diapers last us, like, two or three months.

[Hunter]

You're rich now.

[David]

Oh, I'm. Well, it's just been re. The funds have just been moved. That's not that. You still spend the same amount of money. I noticed a drop off in money because now they eat twice as much.

[Hunter]

I was about to say you on the food side of things now.

[David]

Yeah. Now they just smash every grocer you put in front of them.

[Hunter]

Carter is. I'm concerned.

[David]

Except for vegetables. They don't.

[Big Dave]

What's the deal?

[Hunter]

He's eating more food than any human being should eat ever.

[David]

Well, he's a giant.

[Jacob]

Wait Till they get about 15.

[David]

Yeah, I'm nervous then. They stink too, right? Oh, I remember that. I remember.

[Big Dave]

See where Deodorant.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And eight.

[Hunter]

He started them early, so hopefully he.

[Jacob]

Remembered he missed my kids were in for Thanksgiving.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

You know, I have a whole bunch of pickles.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Three or four or five jars.

[David]

Hey, that.

[Jacob]

That's gone in a day.

[David]

Why y' all eat so many vinegared things, like, usually.

[Hunter]

No, look at him.

[David]

I know you're pickled.

[Jacob]

My wife, I went in and I said, where's the pickles? She said, hey, the boys.

[David]

The boys ate the boys.

[Jacob]

Hey, you had five stupid quartz. He said, hey, the boys, they're growing.

[David]

Pickles and cords he buys in big jars. I tell you. Is that the.

[Hunter]

Is that. I got a big jar right before the ice storm.

[Jacob]

Yeah, well, it ain't nothing better than a crunchy deal pickle.

[David]

I do love a deal pickle.

[Jacob]

And my wife won't even touch.

[Big Dave]

I'm the odd one.

[David]

You eat the slices or the little whole slices? Yeah.

[Jacob]

Beers.

[David]

Oh, he's a spear.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[David]

Okay. I like the little baby gherkins.

[Jacob]

Well, no, they were good.

[David]

Yeah.

[Big Dave]

Throw them in. Forget about it.

[David]

Oh, I'm a big fan of gas that.

[Jacob]

Like, I do raisins. I'll open a box of raisins and just throw it. I. I'll have a wad. Looks like chewing the back.

[Hunter]

Oh, I hate a raisin. I don't like them little red boxes of turd.

[Jacob]

I love them. I'm telling you.

[David]

They look like a dog tip off a box.

[Jacob]

I cram as. As much as I can get in my mouth, and then after crushing it, get it one. Like a big, tall cracker.

[David]

There's nothing worse than grabbing a handful of trail mix, and right in the middle of it's a big old raisin. Freaking dog tick.

[Hunter]

I hate a raisin.

[Jacob]

Really? That's the only cookies that are good? It's raisin.

[Big Dave]

I don't mind raisin.

[David]

Hold oatmeal raisin.

[Hunter]

Did you just say the only good cookie?

[Jacob]

Oh, that's the only good cookie.

[Big Dave]

Y' all hate oatmeal raisin cookies.

[David]

Oh, well, I don't hate them, but they are not. I don't even know that they crack my top five. Yeah.

[Hunter]

Let's tell you, if I was on my back porch last week and I had oatmeal raisin cookies, I'd be like, here goes another three pounds.

[Big Dave]

It's rated cookies.

[Jacob]

That's just, like, top five cookies. The best sandwich. Okay. Is a Jimmy Dean hot sausage and then cut you a thick slice of a.

[Big Dave]

We talking about microwavable biscuit.

[Jacob]

No, you don't microwave fried. Fried in a iron skillet.

[Big Dave]

Okay, what else you put on there then?

[Jacob]

Then the. I'm trying to think of the. The name of the onion. Sweet.

[Big Dave]

Vidalia Onion.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[David]

Valdez. Yeah.

[Jacob]

Oh, a quarter inch stick Vidal.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

That's best sandwiched in the world. But you want to hot sauce you with a slice of onion on it.

[Hunter]

And then you want to rank the top cookies in the world. He just said the only good cookie is oatmeal raisins.

[Big Dave]

But that's his personal opinion. There's three other people. You know what I mean?

[Hunter]

I. I agree. But like if we just say in style. You don't even like chocolate chip.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, no, I know. You'd eat one.

[Jacob]

Pitiful.

[Hunter]

What?

[Big Dave]

Yeah, that's crazy talk.

[Hunter]

No, that's great. Anything in there.

[Jacob]

The only chocolates is good as chocolate almonds.

[Big Dave]

Chocolate almonds.

[David]

I mean chocolate covered almonds.

[Big Dave]

You don't like chocolate peanuts.

[David]

We were talking about cookies, so I got on crumbles app. Just because I haven't been on there in a minute.

[Big Dave]

I was just thinking like snickerdoodle macadamia, you know?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Favorite.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Chocolate chip.

[Hunter]

What you do is you get a chocolate chip cookie and then you get another one and you put vanilla ice cream all in the middle of it.

[Big Dave]

That's the best little double doozy ice cream, actually.

[Hunter]

I mean, you. That's so much better than a raisin, it ain't even.

[Jacob]

Oh, no.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

That's like comparing.

[Jacob]

Now next time you do that, those little ice cream machines, forget the chocolate chip. Get you a couple of raisin cookies and put the ice cream on them.

[Hunter]

We throw some Tabasco on there while we're at it. We're just mixing things that don't make sense.

[Jacob]

You like the basket do that?

[Hunter]

Yeah. I don't think we can rank.

[Jacob]

Hey, make it a hot raisins eel cookie.

[Hunter]

I'm more of a brownie man myself anyway, but.

[Jacob]

Brownie, oh man.

[David]

I mean, what's wrong with the Oreo?

[Jacob]

Gift of the week, boy.

[Hunter]

Way better than oatmeal raisin.

[David]

Yeah. What's wrong with Oreo?

[Hunter]

You don't like Oreos?

[Jacob]

Oreos, it's a cookie. Yeah, you put. You put ice cream on Oreos, it ain't bad.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, you don't even need ice cream.

[David]

That's what I call ring necks. Look at him. Blackhead, white body, black rear end. Right there. Just like An Oreo.

[Hunter]

My mind's blown away.

[Jacob]

You mean you ain't had a Oreo malt?

[Hunter]

I love Oreos.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, but I'm.

[Hunter]

You're. You're still. I'm hung up on how much you love a raisin cookie.

[Jacob]

Open your bag of Oreo.

[Big Dave]

You don't like a snickerdle?

[Jacob]

You know, Dairy Queen, say, hey, give me a, you know, big cup of vanilla.

[Big Dave]

There's better place.

[Jacob]

Bunch a bunch of roos in it. Make me.

[Hunter]

Dairy Queen is not even actually ice cream.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, it's not. I learned that frozen treat. I haven't ate it in a long time when Bella told me that.

[David]

What is it?

[Hunter]

It's a frozen treat.

[Big Dave]

Like, it's too. It doesn't have the ingredients of ice cream, and it's, like, frozen. It's.

[Hunter]

By FDA rules, you can't call it ice cream. You. What else? It is freaking awesome.

[David]

It is.

[Hunter]

Because you can order it, they can tump it over, it doesn't go anywhere, and then you can eat the whole thing and you're instantly happier. You know, the worst part of that storm was not being able to sleep in my own bed for six nights. But I tell you what, when I got back on that Helix sleep mattress Taylor made just for me, I've never been happier.

[David]

Yeah, how? How? You know.

[Hunter]

94.

[David]

Yeah. Sleep score, baby.

[Hunter]

94. Last night we got back in the Helix mattress, the moonlight luxe made just for me after the two minute quiz.

[David]

We've had them for four years now. Yeah. This ain't new. These mattresses are four years old. We've all got them. The unashamed guys have them. Sadie's got one. They're seriously the best. Look. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. And it's nice just to be able to wake up with no back pain. Your body don't hurt, no stiff muscles.

[Hunter]

None of that million bucks.

[David]

And Helix. Hello. And now hunting season's over. We're all going to start traveling again. And it's one of those deals. You wish you could take your mattress with you because you know hotel mattresses ain't Helix mattresses.

[Hunter]

So these are.

[David]

Man, you want the best sleep of your Life? Go to helix sleep.com for 27% off site wide exclusive for listeners of the Duck call room. That's helixsleep.com duck for 27% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so that they know we sent you helix sleep.com duck. Have you ever Rooted for it to fall out of there.

[Hunter]

100.

[David]

So you get another every time.

[Hunter]

I'm like, oh, it never does.

[David]

No, it.

[Big Dave]

I just like to dip cones when I used to eat them. That's what me and my papa used to get all.

[David]

After a baseball game as a kid.

[Hunter]

We're going to Dairy Queen. There was no better man, there was no better announcement in the world than after a baseball game on Green Road. You're all standing there and one kid's parents say, hey, we're going to Dairy Queen now.

[Big Dave]

You're gonna get either a burger and fries or chicken strips and fries and a blizzard.

[Hunter]

I was getting all of it.

[Big Dave]

That's what I'm saying.

[David]

Together.

[Big Dave]

It was either one of the. You were getting burger, chicken and thanks. I'd hate to have your bill.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Hey, we played.

[David]

Hey, you wanted to be on his team.

[Hunter]

I'm telling you, we played hard. We're eating. Never happened to the good old fashioned diner like that.

[David]

What? Dairy Queen.

[Big Dave]

You call Dairy Queen a diner?

[Hunter]

No, now the Dairy Queen's, like, all modern. And the old Dairy Queen back in the day.

[David]

Yeah. Had outside seating. I like. You could do all the.

[Hunter]

Felt way cooler back then.

[Big Dave]

And you know, you were really popping if you had a Dairy Queen birthday cake.

[David]

Remember that? Yeah.

[Hunter]

Y' all used to hang out and eat ice cream all the time.

[Jacob]

Dairy Queen before we hang out.

[David]

And what happened?

[Big Dave]

Yeah. Why did we lose Dairy Queen? When I was a kid, Y' all remember that? We had Dairy Queen right here off well Road and one in Monroe. And then they just.

[Hunter]

And then when that. Then they built another one. And it was so popular, we had police guarding traffic.

[David]

Yeah. Wasn't that wild?

[Big Dave]

That was crazy.

[David]

Queen opened back up.

[Big Dave]

Oh, it was.

[Hunter]

Good day.

[Big Dave]

It was insanity.

[Hunter]

The weeks.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

For weeks in West Monroe, Louisiana, there was a cop directing traffic to get into the Dairy Queen. I'm telling you, it really says a lot about us. I make a lot of jokes, but, I mean, that one's on us.

[David]

But now there's nobody. Of course, Dairy Queen don't got so expensive. Last time I went there and got a blizzard, it was like seven bucks. I said, I now, like this, can't.

[Hunter]

Afford ice cream anymore.

[David]

You can. You can go to the store and get 2 gallons for $7. That's. That's just this guy.

[Jacob]

Ridiculous on the price.

[David]

Yeah, they. They lost the.

[Hunter]

I might go to Eskimos by myself tonight.

[Big Dave]

Hey, I'll come.

[David]

We go for lunch then. There's no proof slide over there right now.

[Big Dave]

And you're at lunch from Eskimos.

[Hunter]

What?

[Big Dave]

I said, no one's checking the charge at lunch from Eskimos.

[Jacob]

They're running out of hamburger meat.

[David]

Who?

[Big Dave]

You can call that in as fraud.

[David]

That charge they ran out of.

[Jacob]

Philip wants to get some food.

[Big Dave]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

I ordered cheeseburger. He come back, it was chicken sandwiches.

[Big Dave]

From where?

[David]

That's all you had run out of hamburger where at Dairy Queen.

[Jacob]

Dairy Queen, huh?

[David]

That's terrible.

[Hunter]

Well, all the trucks were. You couldn't get a truck to your. You had.

[David]

You couldn't get a truck on the well road ramp. So it was like now we were.

[Hunter]

Stuck with whatever we had here in town for.

[David]

I remember the first time I went out in that deal and I went to that roundabout and there were just like four 18 wheelers in various states of problem.

[Jacob]

Yeah. They didn't make it to go around.

[David]

They were just kind of weaved in all with a different problem. And I will say that's a bad deal there. Man, that's. That's tough there.

[Hunter]

As the most pro roundabout person in town. Like best thing that ever happened this time was roundabouts.

[Jacob]

Yeah. All right.

[David]

When the ice happened.

[Hunter]

When the ice happened, I was like, okay, now we're. Now we're in a different situation here.

[David]

Yeah. When ice happens, the last thing you want to be doing is a circle.

[Big Dave]

It became a merry go.

[Jacob]

No. Because nobody knows how to drive.

[Hunter]

We got it down now.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

I feel.

[Jacob]

But it took them two years. It did.

[Hunter]

And every once in a while you see somebody don't know what they're doing.

[Jacob]

You know, they pull up and stop.

[David]

Have you ever seen where we rank nationally, education wise?

[Jacob]

And they. And they freeze.

[David]

This shouldn't be a surprise.

[Jacob]

You blow the horn, scare them, and then they don't know what to do.

[David]

Well, my favorite part during is working a four way stop during the storm because it's proof that nobody still understands how four way stops work.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[David]

When the red lights aren't working, it's just the wild frickin west.

[Big Dave]

Oh, it is.

[David]

Nobody understands.

[Hunter]

Ease out until everybody else stops.

[David]

Everybody take a turn like, no, can't do it. Can't do. When this one goes, that one behind, it's like, I got to get out. You just really see how selfish people are.

[Hunter]

Yeah. White S10 on Thomas Road. Tuesday at about 11:30. I saw you do that.

[Jacob]

They freeze up.

[David]

No, they don't freeze up. They just. They're like, well, it's my turn now. They don't even think about the other three sides of it, it's a wild.

[Big Dave]

Lot of west out there.

[David]

It's crazy. And when you're sitting there in a side by side, it's not a very good feeling. You're like sideswipe. Like just. And then the people pulling out in front of like power trucks. I'm like, come on guys. Like these are the guys working. Let them go, man. Give them plenty of space. But nope, couldn't do it. Had to get to Johnny's for it. Run out for their limited menu.

[Hunter]

Johnny.

[Big Dave]

Johnny's.

[David]

Oh, shoot. And do we have any good emails? Where are we on that? Nothing. Well, it's been a minute.

[Hunter]

Well, the problem is we kind of. We were behind people, so we've really been burning through podcast here.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

We've done three, three days in a row. So if you're like, hey, why are they talking about zebras again?

[David]

Well, there's a reason.

[Hunter]

Yeah, that's what we got on our mind.

[David]

Nothing's really happened in our life since. Yeah, it's just kind of everybody's status quo now.

[Hunter]

I really wish I would have read this before. Mitch from Lake Erie, well, he's cold. He's a farmer 30 miles off of Lake Erie.

[David]

Yeah, he's cold.

[Hunter]

He, he, he gave us a, a big list of. To do things about, you know, a week ago.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

It's just now reading this. I appreciate your effort. I was a little late. Yeah.

[Jacob]

So.

[Hunter]

But I mean that guy to get ready for it. Yeah, he, he would have been like laughing his butt off at all us.

[David]

Yeah. Well, good for them, man. I'm glad some people know how to survive in that. But there's a reason we still live down here. Because overall you don't have to to do that. But I do think we should start a fund and get like a snowplow. Can we just, in our tenth of a cent millage that we approved last year, go for a snowplow one?

[Hunter]

Let's see what you gonna do with our snowplow.

[David]

At least you got one. I ain't saying it's gonna solve anything, but we got none. They were out there running motor graders at the speed of smell, trying to clear roads. Like a motor grader is a lot of things. It's not fast, it is not quick. At least a truck with a, with something on the front of it will do. You can at least go 20 miles an hour, 30 miles an hour, like clearing stuff.

[Big Dave]

20.

[David]

But a motor grader just going. So I drove one for a long time.

[Jacob]

When they use it, just tap the road.

[David]

Yeah. Then they, they. The motor grader cuts big chunks in the road, you know, so they don't know how to use it well, because then you're in a panic too, trying to clear everything. You know, I don't know what you do about that, but you think at some level now that this crap keeps coming. It seems like every year we'd be a little more prepared. And I hope these limb companies are out there cutting limbs all summer long.

[Big Dave]

It's gonna be a while.

[David]

We either need to cut limbs or we need to dig ditches and bury that stuff. One of the two, I don't care.

[Jacob]

Which one you need to do one or the other controlled. Burn the limbs away from the line or bury it on the ground or.

[David]

Bury it all underground. One of the two do. I don't.

[Jacob]

These don't get a grater.

[Hunter]

Huh?

[Jacob]

A motor grade in an army mobile flamethrower.

[David]

Oh, okay.

[Jacob]

Melt the crap.

[David]

Yeah, there you go.

[Jacob]

Yeah, just melt it.

[David]

There you go. Get it.

[Jacob]

Have a tank with a flamethrower. Hey, just. Just burning the roads.

[David]

Burn it down legit.

[Jacob]

Put it on the back of it. Right. Put it on the back of the tank, drive forward and be spraying the.

[Big Dave]

That'd be a.

[Jacob]

Behind it.

[David]

Thanks to Home Surf for sponsoring this episode. Look, owning a home is awesome until it isn't. Like during the middle of winter storm.

[Hunter]

When everything felt like it was gonna.

[David]

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[Hunter]

That's all you need to know.

[Jacob]

Well, I bet you a bunch of people around Here.

[David]

Wish they had it. Help protect your home system and your wallet with HomeServe against covered repairs, plans start at just 4.99amonth. Go to HomeServe.com to find the plan that's right for you. That's HomeServe.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between 4.99 to $11.99 a month. You're free first year terms apply on covered repairs.

[Hunter]

All right, these are the emails we're looking for.

[David]

Martin, go ahead.

[Hunter]

You remember a couple weeks ago we were talking about crazy police officer stories?

[David]

Huh?

[Hunter]

We said if you got one.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Hunter]

Well, my. My good friend John, Lieutenant in Dooley county over in Georgia.

[David]

Okay.

[Hunter]

Georgia law enforcement for 27 years.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

And he's a second generation officer. This guy knows the ropes.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

He ain't no rookie or anything by that stretch of the imagination.

[David]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Almost 19 years ago, he was working somewhere else. He was talking to a friend of mine, police officer. There were just two cops, you know, chatting up. Lady ran up to us, tell us she needs the police, so they're ready to spring into action. She had been tricked, Martin.

[David]

Into what?

[Hunter]

They calmed the lady down and she said that she was sold fake drugs and she wanted that guy to be locked up. Oh, there's literally stories in the news about it.

[David]

Oh, no.

[Hunter]

She wanted. She wanted the guy to get in trouble.

[David]

I bought some.

[Hunter]

And she wanted her money back from fake cocaine.

[Big Dave]

Justice for the cocaine.

[Hunter]

She. And she went to the police about it.

[Big Dave]

Did they arrest her or what's the deal?

[David]

I was fake.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Big Dave]

No, I just wonder.

[Hunter]

I don't know if you get spear. I don't know if that's. She didn't have drugs.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[David]

Do you get a. Do you get arrested for intent?

[Jacob]

You got so powdered sugar.

[Big Dave]

Yeah. What did she turn in the powdered sugar distributor.

[David]

So she didn't get high. She just got diabetes.

[Jacob]

There you go.

[Big Dave]

She's on Ozempic.

[David]

Yeah. Snorting powdered sugar. I do it every time I eat a beignet. It ain't great.

[Hunter]

It hurts a little bit.

[Jacob]

I know. Case. Fried pies.

[Hunter]

That's actually really funny that somebody would be that silly. Although there was a guy yesterday going all around town writing hot checks at every any business that sold anything to do with fishing. He tried to write a hot check to him.

[David]

Really?

[Big Dave]

Do y' all take checks?

[Hunter]

Not anymore. Unless I know you really well.

[David]

I don't really.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[David]

Hot check.

[Hunter]

He hit up like five different places.

[David]

What was he trying to buy Toledo Tackle.

[Hunter]

He was there. And our buddies over at Toledo Tackle called my dad. My dad was on the phone and he was like, oh, man, this dude just wrote us a hot check. Just be on the lookout for him. Dude was in the store, heard my dad talking, bolted, gone. But then I got pictures of him, and then the other. He got a trolling motor off. Somebody went and got a new set of tires. All off a stolen checkbook.

[Big Dave]

That's crazy. Work.

[David]

Work.

[Hunter]

Oh, and then he went to get a live scope yesterday, and they were waiting on him.

[Jacob]

I was waiting.

[Big Dave]

I just don't understand your plan. You got a whole paper trail, you know what I mean?

[Hunter]

Very large paper trail. All in the same industry. Like, none of us talk like it's stupid. Like, everyone, every. Everything to do with fishing. He tried to hit up. He was gonna get a whole setup.

[Big Dave]

That's Monroe for you.

[David]

Yeah. Oh, man, he's in jail. That's a toughie. Who'd he tried to buy?

[Jacob]

The last scam.

[Hunter]

Somebody hooked up down there.

[David]

Ah, got him.

[Hunter]

There was a police officer there when he did it. And they were like, hey, that's that guy that y' all were looking for.

[David]

You Santos. Was he there getting his stuff worked on?

[Big Dave]

That's crazy.

[Hunter]

Although he patrols that street a lot. Oh, man, people really aren't that smart.

[Big Dave]

No, the ones that are, you don't hear about them.

[David]

Yeah, where'd they get the checkbook at that it was stolen? Yeah, some riff raff. Some sipping during the power outage, like.

[Hunter]

A businesses checkpoint or something.

[David]

Oh, good. Yeah, they won't ever check that, right?

[Hunter]

Yeah, it was a dumb move.

[David]

Oh, man.

[Hunter]

But he's got a couple jig poles.

[David]

To his name from Toledo Tagle. Yeah, I ain't getting nothing from y'.

[Jacob]

All.

[Hunter]

No. Luckily Nick called us and was like, hey, be on the lookout for this guy. My dad was like, a man wrote you a hot check.

[David]

And the guy was like, did he run out?

[Hunter]

No, he just walked out.

[David]

Just quickly.

[Hunter]

Yeah, he. He done removed. And I was like, I'm about to get his license plate. He was smart to take that off.

[David]

Or the vehicle probably stolen.

[Hunter]

And I'm not going to put his picture up, although I want to.

[David]

Well, he's.

[Hunter]

Because if you're going to commit a.

[David]

Crime, it's a matter of public record now, so you can.

[Hunter]

Well, if you're going to commit a crime, friends, do not wear the ugliest shirt that anybody has ever worn in this entire town.

[David]

Okay? We'll blur out his face. And I want to see the shirt.

[Big Dave]

Is it. Is it an affliction shirt?

[Hunter]

Oh, no, it's worse than that. No, the affliction guy's got way more style than this.

[Big Dave]

Really? Is he wearing rock revivals?

[Hunter]

No, it's worse than that. No, you. You. You don't sell this at your store. Hold on, I'm gonna send it to my computer.

[David]

Yeah, we can. We can blur a face. I need to see the shirt now.

[Hunter]

The shirt.

[David]

I'm way more interested in the shirt.

[Hunter]

Steal from this many people, why not make sure that that's not the shirt you're wearing? Only one guy in town, even, they call that ombre.

[Big Dave]

Like, what, girls just do their hair ombre.

[Hunter]

That's what he wore to commit crime all over town.

[David]

Wow.

[Hunter]

Hunter, don't put that up on YouTube. If he gets out of jail, I don't want him come tackle me.

[David]

Well, you just cover the face up, but you can show the shirt that.

[Hunter]

He'S the only person on God's earth that ever went into Dillard's and bought that thing. Like, you know what I want? I think white on top, blue on bottom. They're like, white shirt, blue jeans. No, just the shirt. I need white to navy.

[Big Dave]

Oh, no, his pants are white.

[Hunter]

No, I was like, that's an interesting get up, man. But then I was like, well, he'll be easy to find on camera. Only one wearing that today.

[David]

Oh, man, that's terrible.

[Big Dave]

What a shirt.

[Hunter]

He said, look at me.

[David]

That's terrible.

[Big Dave]

You caught outside, would you wear that shirt?

[David]

No. No. Well, I mean, he would for the right price. Don't get him. Oh, yeah, you would. Somebody slid 10 at you to do that.

[Big Dave]

You with a smile, you'd wear that to poker night.

[Jacob]

Make a seven digit. I might do.

[David]

Hey, if you make that shirt, I'll be. I'll cut you a deal. I'll wear it for a lot cheaper than seven digits.

[Big Dave]

I do it for 100 bucks.

[David]

I mean, yeah, like, come on now.

[Jacob]

Don't do it, Jacob.

[Hunter]

Go buy that shirt.

[Big Dave]

Yeah, I wouldn't sell that to nobody. It's a bunch of crap.

[David]

But I'd wear it for the right amount of money. I don't care.

[Hunter]

That was my favorite part, though. They were like, here's what he looks like on their cameras. I said, I'm gonna find that guy quick on ours.

[David]

Yeah, that won't be hard. Oh, my man. He was just trying to get to bussy, man. The busy trying to go live, Scope him some crappie up there on Busy.

[Hunter]

He took the wrong exit on 165 and ended up in a different place.

[David]

Yeah, he went ahead north.

[Hunter]

He went south down to the OCC.

[David]

Yeah, he went to 165 South.

[Hunter]

Yeah, the Ouachita Correctional center, man.

[David]

I guess.

[Hunter]

Hey, by the way.

[David]

Huh?

[Hunter]

You ever thought about the power being out? Five days in jail.

[David]

That's why I say, I bet they got backup generators. So. Biggins.

[Hunter]

Yeah. We actually talked to a guy that worked there.

[David]

Do they.

[Hunter]

He said no. It got real quiet once the power went out. There ain't nobody trying to step out of line or nothing. You don't want to get your own. Be in jail in the dark.

[David]

Yeah. The last place you want to be is in jail, but also then be in the hole. Like, I mean, you end up in solitary on that deal. Yeah, yeah. Big.

[Hunter]

Oh, man, what a winding road we took today.

[David]

Always. Well, you want to send us out of here? What's the good Lord say about theft?

[Hunter]

I've done that too.

[Jacob]

Dead Hand.

[Big Dave]

He didn't get me today, but he.

[Hunter]

Got a lot of our friends. So I'm just putting the word out. We will find you.

[David]

Oh, man.

[Hunter]

Fishing industry tight in this town.

[David]

I just feel bad for whoever's checkbook it was he stole because now they got to start over, like, their account wise and all.

[Big Dave]

That's annoying.

[David]

And that's just. That's dumb. That's. How did they know it was hot that quick?

[Hunter]

He was a little. He got nervous and was like, I need to call this one in and see.

[Jacob]

Ah.

[Hunter]

And then as soon as he did, he was like, dead. Comment.

[David]

Okay, there you go. Yeah, that's. What. Okay. I was like, man, that was a quick. Of course I don't. I'm not in that side of taking money. So I didn't know if there's a deal now where you just like scan the check and it tells.

[Hunter]

You can. Yeah, but you can try and just deposit it on your phone. But he just went ahead and called the bank because he's like, this seems sketchy.

[David]

Okay, there you go. Yeah.

[Hunter]

But yeah, he got.

[Big Dave]

He got.

[David]

You know, I may come in there and pay with a hair salon check.

[Hunter]

Live scope.

[David]

I don't know about this. He don't like somebody on a hair salon. I don't.

[Hunter]

Maybe it was weird.

[David]

Good grief.

[Hunter]

Is this the verse from yesterday? It feels like the verse from yesterday.

[Jacob]

What?

[Hunter]

I don't think it is. Psalm 18:1 and 2. I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. My God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation. My stronghold.

[David]

There you go.

[Hunter]

That one just speaks for itself.

[David]

Amen, buddy. All right, we'll see y' all next time. Right here in the duck call room. We're out.