Police Charge 9-Year-Olds for Having Fun, and Uncle Si Is NOT Having It

Summary

Duck Call Room – Episode Summary

Podcast: Duck Call Room
Hosts: Si Robertson & Justin Martin (with Phil, Jeff, Jason, et al.)
Episode: Police Charge 9-Year-Olds for Having Fun, and Uncle Si Is NOT Having It
Date: April 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Duck Call Room brings the heart and humor fans love, unpacking everything from outrageous childhood injuries to baseball escapades and the controversial story of police being called on kids fishing at a neighborhood golf course. The crew—Si, Martin, Jeff, Phil, Jason, and others—swap wild stories from their youth, rib each other about Southern slang, and share heartfelt reflections on childhood, community, and just letting kids be kids.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kidney Stones: The Ultimate Pain

(01:04–09:31)

• Phil opens with a surprising family health saga: he and two pregnant daughters all had kidney stones in a year. The group debates causes—water, caffeine, milk, etc.—with Si declaring, “You’re not drinking enough water!” (01:25)
• Phil shares his daughter Merit's verdict: “Kidney stone all day long” was worse than childbirth (02:48).
• The crew recounts seeing people (including preachers!) felled by stone pain in public, making for both harrowing and hilarious recollections.
• Jeff is amazed Phil didn’t save his stone as a “trophy.” Si, ever the storyteller, describes seeing a marble-sized stone in a jar, comparing it to coral reef (08:00).

Notable Quote:

“If I get that same pain in that part, I'm done. I'll take death. That's fine. I'll go be with Jesus.” – Phil (07:08)

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2. Youth Baseball: Nostalgia, Hard Lessons, and Belly Laughter

(10:47–19:15)

• Jason and Jeff detail youth baseball games, celebrating moments like kids getting their very first base hit.
• “When that kid looked at me and said, 'I've never been on base before.' I was like, I was ready to run through a wall.” – Jeff (13:00)
• Coaches Dakota (a surprisingly fast “heavyset” man) and Clay face off in a base-running race. Dakota’s speed astounds everyone: “You still got grease in them wheels, Buddy?” (16:39)

Notable Moment:

• The gang jokes about Si umpiring ball games, to which Si deadpans he'd rather officiate from a rocking chair (14:43).

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3. Softball, Southern Competition, and “Rough” Sportsmanship

(19:16–22:41)

• Si reminisces on being bested by “old men” coaches in softball, reinforcing the generational pecking order.
• Tales of Phil’s hardball and infamous slider pitches, including the legendary story of a kid getting his “eyeball knocked out” by a wild pitch (20:46).
• The group dissolves into laughter about childhood toughness and the legends that follow.

Notable Exchange:

“Your dad ever tell you that story at the time he knocked the eyeball?” – Jason (20:46)
“We’ve heard it many times.” – Jeff

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4. Makeshift Childhood Baseball: Playing with Burnt Biscuits and Green Balls

(23:08–27:07)

• Si recalls using hard, green, moldy biscuits and cypress berries for ballgames when real sports gear was out of reach: “We played baseball with them suckers…hard as a brick bat.” (23:38)
• The group debates “speed ball” versus “rag ball,” laughing about the evolving meaning of “speedball” today (27:27).

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5. Legendary Baseball Moments: Randy Johnson Edition

(28:02–33:19)

• Si brings up Randy Johnson’s famed “pigeon incident,” launching into a tangent about Johnson’s origins and mullet.
• Joking about baseball brawls, missed umpire calls, and cranky AI officiating.

Notable Quote:

“Would you let him throw a slider at your back foot?” – Jason (31:22)
“No, sir.” – Jeff

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6. Southern Sayings, Mispronunciations & Family Slang

(36:08–39:10)

• Phil quizzes Si on his pronunciation of “chimney” (Si says “chimley”), which launches a full-on Southern dialect roundtable.
• “My dad says ‘warsh’—there’s an R in there.” – Jeff (38:45)
• Si on young chickens: “The only thing I call a pullet is a pulley bone on a chicken.” (38:21)

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7. The “Eyeball Incident” & Animal Husbandry Legends

(39:10–43:00)

• Si describes (in vivid, gory detail) the infamous story of a kid’s eye being knocked out and his mama pushing it back in—possibly the wildest story of the episode.
• The group imagines time travel to witness such rural childhood antics.

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8. Police Called on Kids Fishing at the Golf Course (“The Main Event”)

(45:31–53:14)

• Prompted by a listener email, Jeff relays a local story: police were called on three children (ages 9–12) for fishing at the Frenchman’s Bend golf course.
• Si’s response is classic:

  “Number one, what was they gonna charge 'em with?” (46:08) “You fertilize the greens every day...that’s where all your game is!” (47:08)

• The group decries overzealous rules, defending the kids’ right to fish—especially if their families live in the neighborhood.
• Si’s nostalgia: “You don’t want kids hunting and fishing, don’t work at a golf course, sir.” (47:22)
• Several advocate for a grassroots movement to let local kids fish: “Let’s start a movement...let these kids fish these golf course ponds.” – Si (52:04)
• The conversation closes with everyone agreeing on the innocence and necessity of these “offenses.”

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9. Sponsoring Kids: All God’s Children

(53:35–55:15)

• Phil thanks listeners for sponsoring children in need (inspired by a previous episode), telling the story of “Edie,” a girl with a tough home life who wants to be a teacher.
• “That 40 bucks pays for all her school, groceries for the family...” – Phil (54:35)
• Si reinforces: “The money is not wasted. The money goes for a good cause.” (55:13)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• (02:48) Phil’s daughter on pain: “Kidney stone all day long.”
• (07:08) Phil on passing a stone: “I'll take death. That’s fine. I'll go be with Jesus.”
• (13:00) Jeff at first base: “I've never been on base before.” “I was ready to run through a wall.”
• (16:39) Surprise at coach Dakota’s speed: “You still got grease in them wheels, Buddy?”
• (20:46) The infamous eyeball story: “He jumped on the plate...it hit him right here in the temple and knocked his eyeball out of his head.”
• (47:08) Si on golf course ponds: “That’s where all your game is.”
• (52:04) Si on fishing freedom: “Let’s start a movement...let these kids fish.”
• (38:45) Discussing “chimleys” and “warsh”: An impromptu lesson in Southern vernacular.

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Important Timestamps

• 01:04 – 09:31: Kidney stones and ultimate pain stories
• 10:47 – 19:15: Little League baseball hijinks & “coach vs. coach” race
• 20:46 – 22:41: The knocked-out eyeball story
• 23:08 – 27:07: Makeshift sports gear memories (burnt biscuits, etc.)
• 28:02 – 33:19: Randy Johnson and baseball legends
• 36:08 – 39:10: Regional slang, “chimleys,” “warsh”
• 39:10 – 43:00: More legendary gruesome tales from Si's youth
• 45:31 – 53:14: Police called on kids fishing: the podcast’s main debate
• 53:35 – 55:15: All God’s Children sponsorship shout-out
• 55:44 – end: Closing laughs and sign-off

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Tone & Takeaways

• Down-home, riotous, and full of tall tales: The crew delivers the “front porch” storytelling fans expect, with plenty of laughter and deep-seated values.
• Serious when it counts: From defending children’s right to play, fish, and be outside, to advocating for those in need, heartfelt moments are peppered throughout.
• Classic Si: Always the wild card, Si’s stories—no matter how implausible—cement the episode’s funny bone and heartstrings.

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If you missed this episode:
Expect hilariously exaggerated tales, playful arguments about Southern dialect, and a passionate, unified stance against grownups ruining kid fun. Whether you’re in it for the laughs or the life lessons (or both), this one delivers classic Duck Call Room gold.

Transcript

[Si]

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[Jeff]

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[Jason]

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[Jeff]

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[Jason]

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[Phil]

I'm really curious because I think there's something environmental happening to me and my family. So I'm trying to figure it out. Within the last year, me and my two daughters who were. Were pregnant at the time, one is still pregnant and this just happened two days ago, have all gotten kidney stones, like within a year. Like, how does that happen?

[Si]

You're not drinking enough water.

[Phil]

I drink a ton of water, so that's not true.

[Jeff]

Whoa.

[Si]

Next. Ah.

[Jason]

As a man.

[Si]

But.

[Phil]

But somebody did say it has to

[Jason]

do with caffeine is a big one. Caffeine was a no, no salts. Dad had a. Had to end up getting on like a super specific diet.

[Phil]

He have multiple.

[Jason]

Huh? Yeah. And he only had one kidney, so that was really. Yeah, he's only born with one. And the.

[Si]

Or.

[Jeff]

You're drinking too much milk.

[Jason]

Yeah, it's cows. It's calcium. It's basically salt deposits. So different.

[Si]

Every doctor I've ever heard has said if you hit your stone, you don't drink enough water.

[Phil]

I get that. But I mean, I do drink a lot of water, but. But I drink a lot. I do drink caffeine and drink a

[Jason]

lot of energy drinks.

[Phil]

Still not as much, but now I'm. I'm off them.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Phil]

I'm just so scared to get it again. And my daughters are really scared.

[Jason]

How'd that feel?

[Si]

Hey, were.

[Phil]

Have you ever had one?

[Jeff]

No.

[Jason]

No. But I remember seeing my dad.

[Phil]

So I have proof now. So anybody this for y' all too you, in case you have a kid. I asked my daughter Merit, who. She since had her baby and everything's fine. She was pregnant though, when this happened. She ended up in the hospital and I said all right. After she had the baby. Which she had not. Not a C section. She had the baby. I said, what was worse? Which. Which was worse? She said, kidney stone all day long.

[Si]

Oh. Oh, I don't know. There you go. Bill had one. And hey. I mean, he literally is just. He was one knee at the stupid receptionist window.

[Phil]

Oh, I remember she.

[Si]

She's wanting to say, hey, I know we need insurance. We need to fill up paperwork. Phil said, no, I need somebody to kill this pain. He said, I've got.

[Phil]

Were you there in church when he was teaching and he started going? Were you there that Sunday when he.

[Jeff]

Wait, what?

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, no, this one.

[Jason]

It all came to a hit story. No, but I heard about it.

[Phil]

I was there. I was a witness to this. He's talking and he's. He was like, it's hard for me to not do it, stand up. But he was like, you could tell something was wrong. And it was like, why is he acting the way, you know?

[Si]

I'm saying.

[Phil]

I'm just watching him move. And it was like he. He kept moving in a weird way. He looked like, ain't Jan, honestly, how. She used to be kind of, you know, fidgety.

[Si]

Fidgety.

[Phil]

And. And it's just like, what is wrong with him? Well, after like 10 or 15 minutes, he. He drops down to his knees.

[Si]

He has to go to his knees,

[Phil]

and he doesn't have a mic. It's like a classroom, you know? And so he's on his knee. Everybody's still kind of like, oh, well, maybe he's gonna. I kept thinking, oh, he's gonna say something. A prayer. Your knees. I don't know.

[Jeff]

Jeb's like, metaphor.

[Si]

He was talking. He didn't even say nothing. He just went to his knee.

[Phil]

Then he lays down. That's what.

[Jeff]

That's when a guy. He's laid down on his stomach, and it's Phil Robertson. Yeah.

[Jason]

And he's still preaching.

[Phil]

He's still got his Bible in front of him, but he's laid on his stomach. So everybody's like.

[Si]

It's still talking.

[Phil]

Wait a second.

[Si]

Still talking.

[Phil]

Weird's going on. And one of the dudes, I think like an elder or something, like an older guy, was like, phil, are you okay? Like. Like. And he's still going. He's like, phil, Phil, you can stop talking. Like, like, what's happening? He's My back.

[Jason]

Something.

[Phil]

Something's wrong with my back. And then he was like, let's go to the hospital. So that's, I guess, where he ended up.

[Si]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil]

That story. But that's wild.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Si]

Oh, no. What got me was it. Yeah. You could tell the man was in pain.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Si]

Serious pain. And this woman is sitting there talking about, we got to get you insurance, college, and all this junk fell out. He said, I don't need to do none of that. I need somebody shoot me with something.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Si]

To kill this pain.

[Phil]

Well, where it starts is kind of in your nethers and then your nethers. Your nethers. Nether region.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil]

Somewhere down in there. I don't. I don't know exactly where. That was very painful, but I could have lived with that pain. That was for like a couple hours. I was like. It was real bad, but I was like, okay, something, something. Something's happening. I don't know what. Then there is a distinct thing that happens when that thing makes it to your ureter. I guess, whatever travels.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Phil]

When that thing starts in your back, you can't. You can't do it. It's impossible.

[Jason]

Do you just pass it or do you have to go get like the lithotri? Yeah.

[Phil]

I was rolling around on the ground, and Jessica was like, what is wrong with you?

[Jason]

How'd it feel when it come out? Just that Relief.

[Phil]

Exactly. What happened? Is this. It's kind of a good story. I'll make it short. So I'm in the hospital. I'm rolling around on the ground. I don't remember that. Just said. I kept saying, why won't they help me? Why won't they help me? I don't remember saying that.

[Jeff]

It is like childbirth.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Phil]

And so then they shoot me full of feel good stuff. So I'm like, okay, I'm okay now. They take me down. They do a scan. As I'm. They're wheeling me back in the wheelchair. I get a phone call, and I look and it's my buddy, Blake McGee, who is a doctor who was. Happened to be working that day. And I answered phone. He's like, how you doing, buddy? And I'm like, not good. He's like, well, I just looked at your scan. I just happened like a minute before. It says, I got a little nice service there. That was nice. But it was my buddy. And I'm like, what's wrong with me?

[Jeff]

And he's like, you got a 2

[Phil]

millimeter kidney stone in your. He said, now it's in your bladder.

[Si]

In your track.

[Phil]

Yeah, he said, it's in your bladder now. It was. He said that pain you were feeling is running through that thing. And I was like. He said, now you have to pass it. And I said, no. I think I said something worse than. No

[Jason]

adjective had an adjective or an adverb.

[Phil]

I mean, sorry. I was in a lot of pain.

[Jason]

Oh, it happened.

[Phil]

He said, no, no, no. That part's easy. I said, no, no, no, I can't do it.

[Si]

I can't. This can't.

[Phil]

If I get that same pain in that part, I'm done. I'll take death. That's fine. I'll go be with Jesus. Like, I was ready to hang out.

[Jason]

I'm done, boys.

[Phil]

And he was like, no, dude, it's not that part. Trust me. You've done the hard part. It's not gonna be that bad. And it wasn't, so.

[Jeff]

Oh, man.

[Phil]

Hard part is in the back. Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Well, the most important question. I know all of our listeners are wondering, do you still have it?

[Phil]

The kidney stone?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Phil]

I. I mean, no, it's gone. What?

[Jeff]

You didn't keep it?

[Phil]

Oh, no, no. It went right in the toilet. I flushed it. I didn't do. I didn't reach in there. I was like. I was. I curse that thing for every.

[Si]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

I'm a little. I would have kept it.

[Jason]

That's where the nerd in me would have called it.

[Si]

And I'd be like, I will tell you what it's like.

[Jeff]

Have you had one?

[Si]

No, no, I will. No, no, I seen one. I've seen one, though.

[Jeff]

You saw one? Oh, in a jar.

[Si]

In a jar. Okay. It's just like if you go the ocean and go to the coral reef.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Si]

And you break off of, say, size of a marble. I'm serious. The one I'm looking at.

[Jason]

Hey, a marble ain't coming through.

[Si]

Oh, no.

[Jason]

No chance.

[Si]

Yeah, it'll come through there. I'm serious.

[Jeff]

At one point, a marble could have. Whenever you had your thing.

[Jason]

Oh, them were not connected. I mean, I could have held a marble, but I wouldn't. Still wasn't coming out that way.

[Si]

The guy that showed me the one that come. Come out. Oh, it would be a peewee marble. But it was a marble.

[Jason]

I watched my dad do it and things my whole life.

[Si]

Looks just like, you know, it would. Hey. If you picked it up and squeezed it, you. You. It would cut you.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Si]

Because it's true. Fine.

[Jason]

It's just a big. It's a big ball of salt.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jason]

What it.

[Jeff]

That's terrible.

[Si]

Oh, no. Hey. And then I've heard numerous people say just what he said about, you know, it was a woman that passed it when they asked her which One was worse. Oh, childbirth was a. Yeah, that one time was a piece of cake.

[Phil]

I don't think that. I think childbirth.

[Si]

No, no, I'm serious. It's pretty proven what the woman said.

[Phil]

It's just for my daughter. She said it was worse.

[Jeff]

Google confirms. A lot of people say that. Yeah, and by people, I mean women go through both.

[Jason]

Well, yeah, they.

[Jeff]

We can't.

[Si]

You think about it.

[Jason]

No matter how much you want to,

[Si]

guys can't ever, ever time it moves.

[Jason]

Don't care if it's 2026.

[Jeff]

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[Jason]

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[Jeff]

Well, last time Jeff was on, he's like, oh yeah, come see Gus play right up the road. And I was like, ted Comet, we're gonna get our teeth bitty and beat in By Gus and well, that didn't happen.

[Jason]

There you go. You get to gloat a little.

[Jeff]

I'm not going to. Because before the game it was kind of like the little Giants. It was like, you remember that one time? And then the one time happened last night.

[Jason]

So y' all played Spike.

[Jeff]

We had, we had two kids get a hit that have never gotten a hit in their life.

[Jason]

Well, good for them.

[Jeff]

Ben's hit his first fair ball in the history of his life. We had one kid get on base and he looked at me and goes, I've never been on base before. And it was just like, yeah, what do coach? We are on fire. That was amazing.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And then, you know, Lindsay, Corey's old retired assistant, she, she, her son came in and shut her down. That boy can pitch.

[Jason]

Yeah. Oh, Douglas.

[Jeff]

Yeah, Douglas can pitch.

[Jason]

Me and Douglas played a lot of hours of wiffle ball up here.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Douglas is salty.

[Jeff]

Yeah. So once we accidentally got the lead,

[Jason]

Douglas took the mound that Yalls first dub.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And we will, I will keep the people informed of the second one, but we'll see when it happens.

[Jason]

Is that Yalls first loss?

[Si]

No.

[Jason]

Oh, no.

[Phil]

We had lost. I was not, we were not here, though. Gus didn't play. I was in Texas last week.

[Jason]

But there you go.

[Jeff]

It was cool though, because I was talking to the other coaches and we all had like, everybody learned and that's what we talked about that last time. Like, these kids.

[Jason]

Well, that's the.

[Jeff]

None of them are.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's the objective of 9 and 10 year old baseball.

[Jeff]

Although Ben's last night on the way home, he said, dad, I think if I ever play a professional sport, it'll be baseball. I was like, we might want to get a base hit before we talk about playing the Astros.

[Phil]

Well, weirdly enough, I had the same conversations with Gus, which, you know, maybe he could possibly, but I'm like, but he also talks about, oh, I can hit it over the fence. I'm like, well, well, you got to do it. You can say all day, well, I could do this.

[Jeff]

Well, that does have a man swing, though. It's beautiful.

[Jason]

I remember them days, man. Nine, ten year old. That was a good time. That was a good time of life.

[Jeff]

You know what? You know, it's weird. I actually one of my favorite things growing up was playing first base. I, I, I had more fun coaching first base last night than I've had in a long. I was just having the time of my life.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

When that kid looked at me and said, I've never been on base before. I was like, I was ready to run through a wall.

[Jason]

Yeah. It was fun, though, what I did whenever I. Me and Jace coached. When Cole was doing it, he recruited me as a coach and I was first base coach. Really what I was, I was like good cop, bad cop. And you generally think Jason be the bad cop, but on this one, he went total good cops. I was a coach that, like, stayed on the umpires a little bit so that Jace could go win them over, you know?

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jason]

That's kind of my role in the whole thing.

[Jeff]

I'm good cop.

[Jason]

Oh, good times at the youth ballpark.

[Jeff]

Yeah. I was hoping Cy would show up, but no. Did anybody tell you that's on us? I didn't know we were playing Gus till we got there. So we would have. We would have got you there. Sigh. You should umpire baseball games.

[Jason]

No, he ain't fast enough. He's got the new eyes, though, and teeth. We'd hate to see him.

[Si]

Look, I ain't gonna run as a base. I'll be over here in a rocket chair looking. He's out. Yeah, he's out.

[Phil]

Actually, I wouldn't tell y'. All. The funniest thing has happened this whole baseball season. It was funny. So we got our main coach. His name is Dakota. Really like him, fine gentleman. And he's great about. He just wants to teach him. Doesn't go to game, you know, like, all right, you got to do this. And then we have this other coach. Can't think.

[Si]

Clay.

[Phil]

I think maybe it's his name. Anyway, so at the end of one of the practices, they. They were having the kids run bases and they had two teams. This was like two weeks ago. And Dakota is a heavy set gentleman now. And I found this out later. He did, I think, played baseball in college, which kind of makes sense. View that this all.

[Jason]

He's a full blown mature athlete.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Phil]

And it just. But if you looked at him, you'd think, you know, oh, you played baseball. Okay. You know, you wouldn't for sure know that for sure.

[Jeff]

Gus just moved down the lineup if you want.

[Phil]

So he tells the other coach who is fit. He's like, yeah, you would think this guy probably played sports in college. That's what you would think. And he said, hey, on this last one, let's me and you run. And you could tell the other coach who is the fit one, said, okay, yeah, we can do that. And I said, you boys watch out. You know, don't pull a hammy thinking, you know, that can happen if they don't.

[Si]

Don't injure yourself.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Phil]

So all the kids running. It's a tight race. Well, let me tell you something. When Dakota starts running, I have never seen a big man run that fast in my life. It was like he was gliding, and that belly didn't slow him down at all.

[Jeff]

And he was way faster than the athlete. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Jason]

I'm screaming, and his wife is looking at me.

[Jeff]

And I said, you still got grease in them wheels, Buddy? And, I mean, I was so shocked.

[Phil]

It's the best thing that ever happened. I don't even care about what the kids are doing.

[Si]

I like it. You still got grease in them wheels, Buddy. Rod.

[Jeff]

Oh, that's.

[Si]

Beat that thing up.

[Jason]

After the practice, I kept talking.

[Phil]

He got so tickled because I kept.

[Jeff]

I was like, wait a second.

[Phil]

Do you run? Do you sprint often like that? You know, how are you doing what you're doing? And he just thought it was the funniest thing. He's. I've always been fast. I was like, you are fast.

[Si]

There you go.

[Jeff]

Right? Oh, we did that same thing. And I was. I rounded first, and I was.

[Jason]

But you ain't fast.

[Jeff]

No, but I felt fast. And I was like, there's a basis.

[Si]

That's all that matters.

[Jeff]

Still got it.

[Si]

That's all that matters. He felt fast.

[Jeff]

But then I turned second, and I said, I am no longer feeling fast. But then out of the corner of my eye, I see a cloud of dirt. And the other coach, John Lindsay's husband, he is eaten it. He is on the ground. There's dirt everywhere. And I was like, I win.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Slow down. Don't hurt yourself.

[Jason]

At least I'm upright. We have done the thing.

[Jeff]

Oh, it's fun, though.

[Jason]

At our age, the main deal when you do something like this is don't get hurt. Don't get hurt.

[Phil]

Right?

[Jason]

Step one. Do not get hurt.

[Phil]

Take off in a dead sprint right now. No.

[Jason]

Oh, no.

[Si]

Teenagers, and we've end up. Would always end up playing the coaches and then just. It was unreal what they could do with a softball.

[Jason]

Y' all just, like, getting your brains beat in.

[Si]

Hey, you don't want to go.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Si]

You know, these are old men.

[Jason]

Yeah. But I remember that time whenever you're like, you think you.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Jason]

The young bull thinks he wants to take on them, and.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Then the coaches just beat your brain.

[Si]

Oh, no.

[Jason]

You're like, yeah, okay.

[Si]

They can hit a ball that far.

[Jeff]

Hey. The best.

[Si]

We had a big schoolyard in the baseball field. They was knocking it over the. The road.

[Jeff]

The best slow pitch, son.

[Si]

That was a long way. And it wasn't just one of them doing. Everyone I've got up. Wow. Oh. Yep. I guess that's all the road too.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

The best slow pitch softball player in this town's about 5 foot 2, little heavyset pentecostal man in blue jeans and work gloves. When I was 21, I think I was something. He'd go and he'd wind up and you, that ball still ain't landed. There's about three of them on that team too. They beat the Church of Christ, boys brains in. We all out there in slide mitts thinking we something.

[Jason]

I remember y' all taught me. And playing that slow pitch softball, I did that about five times. Like, this stuff sucks.

[Jeff]

It's very hot.

[Jason]

It is so hot.

[Jeff]

I don't play it no more.

[Si]

Tommy, Tommy played, you know, it was a summer league. Yeah. And Phil pitched and Tommy was like, you know, shortstop or sacrones, you know, whatever.

[Jeff]

Where were you?

[Jason]

In the bleachers? I was too little and the bleachers. Eating a dill pickle.

[Si]

Yeah. But what always got me with Phil, he could throw a hard ball and he would actually throw it right at the batter. And some of them were stupid enough thinking that if they jumped and landed on the plate, they'd be safe. It was in there. The guys called him out. Oh, call him out. They knock him out too.

[Jeff]

Phil had a slider.

[Si]

Boy, he's not. Hey, we had a kid, a 13 year old kid, walks up our whis playing in the yard with a speedball. Yo, he come up there and he's a lippy little old fella, you know, he got to talking. Young Phil was pitching y' all and he'd strike, strike out. He said. He says, you can't strike me out. Y' all feel what? Didn't pay no attention to him. Finally he got on his nerve. He said, get. You get your bat and get up there. And what happened there is he threw it directly at him. He jumped on the plate. It hit him right here temple for those listening and knocked his eyeball out of his head.

[Jason]

Your dad ever tell you that story at the time he knocked the eyeball?

[Jeff]

We've heard it many times.

[Si]

You talking about rugged looking mama come running out. There's a good thing she is a nurse as old as Judy. They pushed it back in. They took him to the hospital. Well, that kid's never showed up. Getting open his mouth. When Phil was around, I'M pretty sure

[Jeff]

he ain't been right.

[Phil]

They call him can't get right Now.

[Jason]

That's where we got our friend Evil Eye.

[Jeff]

It was back in 1962.

[Si]

Scared everybody out there that day.

[Jeff]

Was it when his eye popped out or when they pushed it back down?

[Phil]

What does our field do when he. When I popped out?

[Si]

Penis laugh. Now he said, I got a good curveball a hear me is right.

[Jeff]

Jeff's about to cry.

[Si]

No, what he said was, Phil said, I might not can strike hell, but I sure will knock you out.

[Jeff]

Baseball, wow. America's pastime, right there.

[Jason]

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[Si]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah, we'd hit them. That's what we had to use. I mean, you know, look.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jason]

If we broke our wiffle ball. I mean, back before you could drive like you bust all your Wiffle balls and all. I mean, you pick up the next round thing.

[Si]

Hey, we couldn't afford a baseball, so what we had. My sister made some biscuits one time when she made her first batch of biscuits, they was hard as a rock and green. Okay. And then we played.

[Jeff]

Not only did she overcook them, they molded.

[Si]

Hey, look. And we played baseball with them suckers. And, hey, you know, you get hit with one of them things. Hey, boy, you talking about pain as hard as a brick bat. I'm Talking about, you know,

[Jason]

how did a burnt biscuit turn green?

[Si]

Oh, no. Hey, hey, where does this stuff come from, man? Well, no, no.

[Jason]

Cause, hey, power is eyes.

[Si]

And hey, look. And Judy.

[Jeff]

I believe it.

[Si]

Hey, Judy turned into a really good cook. But when she first started. You talking about some rough stuff, cooking baseballs. Hey, she was frying chicken one day, okay? And I snuck in there and grabbed a wing. When I run, I run out. When I turned left, when I got past the door, I heard thud. You threw a butcher knife and stuck it an inch and a half deep in the door frame.

[Jason]

That's. Your aunt did that.

[Si]

Hey. Over a chicken wing, over a wang. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Even a leg.

[Si]

I can see a breast. Are you. Yo, come on.

[Jason]

I remember me as I used to always dig through the thing of fried chicken. It feels looking for the pulley ball and seeing who could find it but first.

[Si]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Kai said I stuck a fork in her hand one time when she was eating at the house.

[Jeff]

She's told that story many times.

[Si]

I said, well, you shouldn't have tried to get the last piece of chicken.

[Jason]

Oh, man. Blitz ball game. Still a thing we didn't bring up. But that was actually fun when we did that on our lunch.

[Jeff]

My whole family played the other Sunday night.

[Jason]

Blitzball.

[Si]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff]

I hit one to the moon.

[Jason]

Did you?

[Jeff]

It was foul, but my kids were

[Si]

still in the moon. But it was foul.

[Jason]

And the pitches you could throw with that thing, that was.

[Jeff]

We kind of lobbing them up there the other night.

[Jason]

Oh, baton practice.

[Jeff]

Yeah, but everybody else was, you know, all the other adults were swinging softly. I. I was.

[Jason]

Yeah, you try and come up.

[Si]

You talking about that kid on base. You know, that's like when I. Playing softball. I mean, speedball, you know, I get a bat, we behind.

[Jason]

Yo, what's a speed ball?

[Jeff]

It's a biscuit that has been burnt.

[Si]

Well, is that like a racket? It's a hardball, but it's got. It's real soft.

[Jason]

Yeah. Rag ball. Yeah, that's what we used to call rag ball.

[Si]

But anyway, he stole. I knew he was gonna throw a fastball, so, hey, I swung as hard as I could, okay? And I hit it. Okay. And it. It failed just right in front of them. I like the knocking over. So I got made a triple. A warning. Triple. The coach. The coach run out. Their coach run out and said, hey, he didn't touch first base.

[Jason]

Oh, appeal.

[Si]

Yeah. Well, no, no, because I told the coach. I said, hey. I told my coach. I did. Yeah. I touched It. Hey, umpire, you out. That's the only hit I ever hit in my life. And I got called out because umpire lied.

[Jason]

You didn't know. You didn't know how.

[Si]

Yeah, I was like that kid. I said, the triple. You know, like you in a home run.

[Jason]

You got to go to first and second before you go to third.

[Si]

Well, hey, I just, you know, I ran and I got. Clipped it on the side, you know, and coach said, hey, he didn't touch first. I told my coach, I said, I touched it. And hey, look, my coach had to come physically grab me and drag me off the base because I said, hey, I'm not out. I touched the bag.

[Jason]

He went all Philip Wellman on him.

[Si]

He said, yeah, you're out. Come on. He said, he's fixing. So you had a game. I can't afford. You come out of the game.

[Jason]

We probably ought to get. That's who we need to get in here one day. It's old Wellman.

[Jeff]

Who's Wellman?

[Jason]

The manager for the Double A team of the Braves that went berserk that time.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, he was wild.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

I googled a speedball, and it is something entirely different these days.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Si]

It was. Hey, it was a little bit bigger. Look, it was a little bit bigger

[Jeff]

than a hard ball, but it's like you mix them together.

[Si]

Yeah, it was a little bit bigger than a hard ball, but it was.

[Jason]

It was like, you know, that sounds like a party.

[Si]

You could squeeze it. Okay. It ain't like a hardball. You can't squeeze a hard. Hard ball.

[Jason]

We always call.

[Jeff]

If you look up speedball on Wikipedia, there's a whole list of notable deaths attributed to speedballs, and none of them are from getting hit in the temple.

[Jason]

And none of it. Did any of them have an eyeball hanging out?

[Jeff]

Nope.

[Si]

Oh, the best ball baseball game I ever watched. I don't even know who he played for, but it was. He blew a pigeon up.

[Jason]

Oh, Randy.

[Jeff]

Randy Johnson.

[Jason]

Randy Johnson when he was unit. That's Diamondback.

[Si]

Come off that mound. This guy's about six, eight.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah.

[Si]

And his arm like five feet long. You know, when he comes off. When he comes off the mound, he's halfway the first. I mean, it's the hole, yo. But, hey, he threw. He threw a fastball and that pigeon exploded. Look, it looked like somebody had shot him with a 12 gauge. That sucker exploded. I'm talking about.

[Jeff]

And when telling Martin about our baseball game last night, direct quote, Gus made the play of the game. And if he touches third, we lose. But he reared back and Randy Johnson direct quote.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Si]

Oh, that's awesome. He had it all, does Gus. Oh yeah.

[Jason]

Randy Johnson. Yeah, that was a good one.

[Jeff]

The big unit.

[Jason]

It was like watching the movie Major League in real life.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You know, because they do that in a movie and you don't ever think it's gonna happen. Oh, then Randy Johnson does it just pigeon right upside.

[Phil]

I liked about him. He looked like he's from Balconville, you

[Jason]

know what I'm saying? He had that kind of the big unit.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Oh, ugly hair.

[Phil]

He looked like, you know, he's.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And he was 6, 9 and weighed 180 pounds.

[Jason]

Oh yeah. He could have lived somewhere between Philpot Mouth of Cyprus, no problem. No, even all the way down to ears.

[Si]

Yeah. He was your redneck speech and all.

[Jason]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

Where is he from?

[Phil]

Oh, I don't know. Pennsylvania, Kentucky.

[Jeff]

What a stray that the. We do have a live studio audience of three Pennsylvanians today.

[Si]

He could home that ball though.

[Phil]

I don't think he was what, a southern man?

[Jeff]

No, but Walnut Creek, California.

[Phil]

Whoa, look there.

[Jeff]

He's from the Baucomville of San Francisco.

[Phil]

I guess I was a northern.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it's right outside of San Francisco.

[Phil]

He wasn't from like.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he wasn't from San Francisco.

[Jason]

He could be from today's San Francisco.

[Jeff]

Now they're trying to look like that.

[Jason]

They got a lot of people called a big unit.

[Jeff]

I don't even know where. I don't even know how to take this.

[Jason]

Oh, just with a grain of salt.

[Si]

Okay.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Ray, I didn't know we were going to cover Randy Johnson today.

[Jason]

I wonder what he's doing now.

[Jeff]

He takes pictures. No, that's King Jr. Randy Johnson did it first.

[Phil]

Really?

[Jason]

He's a photographer? Yeah, really.

[Jeff]

Randy Johnson photograph.

[Jason]

What is he photographed? Look at him put them up there. Can we buy some?

[Jeff]

No, he's like photographing the Super Bowl.

[Phil]

Oh, hey, he's still kind of got a mullet, which I enjoy.

[Jeff]

Where does somebody that's six foot nine by pants

[Jason]

custom? Yeah, online. Not by.

[Si]

Oh God.

[Jason]

But look, he made some stores next to the toilet store is really big and really expensive and he makes it look just like a normal camera. Yeah, that's crazy. Like he's huge. Oh yeah, he's a big feller.

[Jeff]

Oh man, he's got a website and every. Randy Johnson takes some photographs.

[Jason]

Would you let him throw a slider at your back foot?

[Jeff]

No, sir.

[Jason]

Would you get in there right handed and let him Throw a back foot slider, hit that.

[Phil]

I always charge him and he was like.

[Si]

It was a slider.

[Jason]

Yeah. Oh, I don't remember that. But hey, he threw some hands in that one, didn't he? Like, isn't there one of Randy Johnson? Like, I mean, no, that's. That he ain't Nolan Ryan. But like, I mean, I thought he threw some hands in one.

[Jeff]

I'm sure he's fought somebody. You know, you can't have a mustache and a haircut like that and never hit someone in the face before.

[Si]

Oh, hey, everybody. All ever pictures hit somebody?

[Jeff]

No. With his fist?

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah. We're talking about with laid hands on.

[Jeff]

Oh, what kind of weird.

[Si]

Oh, well, no, some of them that. Yeah, they was bad. Got their butt kicked.

[Jason]

Well, I saw the deal the other night with the Braves where the manager just formed tackles.

[Phil]

Oh, I didn't see that.

[Jason]

The other. I mean, the. The Braves manager just form tackles. The opposition who used to play for the Braves, and he's like, I just don't. He said, I just knew he was a big man and I needed to get him off feet and protect my pitcher.

[Si]

Smart manager. And 1. Baseball. Baseball was a. But, you know, it was a lot of fight in baseball back then.

[Jason]

Yeah, they. They made it pretty soft.

[Si]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, somebody do something wrong, and I think they do. It'd be 10 people that slugging it out. Yeah.

[Jason]

And they getting close to taking the umpire out the game, too. Yeah. Now that everybody can be.

[Jeff]

Apparently Randy Johnson just used to like to throw at Kenny Lofton's head. Yeah, it's a slider. He does that in the video.

[Phil]

That's why I remember that. Like, I have a memory of that.

[Jeff]

I'd throw a fastball if I wanted to hit you. Man, that's scary.

[Si]

That though, like a curveball and a slider mixed together slurs and they never call it a strike. And I don't understand that because, hey, it crosses both sides of the plate.

[Phil]

Where does it end up, though?

[Si]

Yeah, well, don't. Hey, but it went across the plate.

[Jason]

Oh, here we go.

[Jeff]

I'm just watching Rangers.

[Si]

I used to look at it and I'd say he should. Hey, that's just three. Three strikes.

[Jason]

Well, now you ain't got to worry about it because the camera can determine if it's a striker.

[Si]

No, no, hey, I like it because I thought it would slow it down, but it don't.

[Jason]

Oh, man. Si. Yesterday, I know you got dressed up for Easter church. Didn't you wore those to cova's boots, right?

[Si]

I did. I was 2 inches higher. Oh, looking good, looking good, looking good.

[Jason]

Hey, it feels good to get dressed up sometimes. And anywhere worth going is worth going in good boots. And you can find your perfect pair with our friends over at Tacova's. Look. Do you have the perfect pair now, Si?

[Si]

Oh, yeah. These things are so well made.

[Jason]

The good thing is to Cova's boots will take you anywhere you need to go, Whether it's a wedding, concert, weekend away, it doesn't matter. They'll take you there because you can dress them up, dress them down, walk from a dusty field straight into a nice dinner and never feel out of place. And they're built right, with real premium leather, like cowhide, goat, even the more exotic stuff like ostrich and cayman. The best part is you don't have to fight with them. No stiff break in, period. Just broken in comfort right out of the box. And if you really want to understand what sets to Covis apart, just step into one of their stores.

[Jeff]

You've done it.

[Jason]

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[Jeff]

That has made baseball better. Because if you can get like 30,000 people to boo an umpire and they're all right and he's wrong, I'm going back to baseball. This. I want to boo somebody.

[Si]

Here's what's so bad about that. When you look and y', all, you're sitting TV and watching, and the guy, the pitcher releases it and it's that far outside the plate.

[Jason]

Bring him up, you know, and the

[Si]

guy, you know, no. You know, the guy says, no, he's out. You know how here comes the man that's jumping up and down. He said, not only is he out, but you're out too.

[Jason]

Dies an umpire would be fun. We need to get him to be an umpire of a Savannah.

[Si]

But hey. But hey, what got me about it do that.

[Jeff]

I know.

[Jason]

Oh, they. They probably come do it.

[Jeff]

One out just in a wheelchair with an oxygen machine out there screaming at people.

[Jason]

Yeah, y'.

[Si]

All. And the guy threw it and it. It literally the box. It hit the corner. The ball hit the corner. I mean, could it just about half the ball, you know, so, hey, he called it. He called it the ball. No, Hey. I said, no, he's out.

[Jeff]

Hey, Si knows all about AI by the way.

[Si]

Yeah, Si.

[Phil]

I got a question for you because somebody said this the other day, and I was like, I'm pretty sure my uncle says that same thing. How do you say you build a fire in it, it's in your home and it's got smoke coming out of it. What is that thing called?

[Si]

A chimney.

[Phil]

He does say it.

[Jason]

Chimney.

[Phil]

Chimney.

[Jason]

I knew what you were going.

[Phil]

And I was like.

[Jason]

I knew what you were going for. Whatever.

[Jeff]

I was like, I didn't even hear it.

[Si]

Well, what did it.

[Jeff]

What did you just say? Hold on.

[Phil]

What it's called, but Chimney. Yeah.

[Si]

Chimney.

[Phil]

That's thing. It was another.

[Si]

Why?

[Phil]

It was another older man.

[Jeff]

Why are you saying L?

[Phil]

And I thought, that's a thing.

[Si]

Hold on.

[Jeff]

Spell it.

[Si]

Huh? I think it's C. I, C, H, I, M, M, E, Y. Jimmy.

[Jason]

But he says chimney. This is like goblin.

[Jeff]

So many incorrect parts of that.

[Jason]

I know.

[Phil]

Two M's make an L. Yeah.

[Si]

Hey, look. Hey.

[Jason]

You got back to back M's. You go backwards.

[Si]

English teacher. I was okay.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Jason]

Do not pass. Go. Go back one letter. Kim Lee.

[Jeff]

He said Phil was the English teacher.

[Si]

He was.

[Phil]

He talks to high school, but obviously that's the thing.

[Si]

Pretty good deal.

[Jason]

Just like gobble.

[Si]

Find me a wood. Duck pond, yo. You got to be at least English with Phil. Oh, with Phil.

[Jason]

No. No chimneys allowed, though. Yeah. I knew what you were going for, right? Because I've heard him say it, and I've always been like, I guess that's just a size. Somebody else said it.

[Phil]

Somebody else said it.

[Si]

What is the correct pronunciation, Jim?

[Phil]

Knee.

[Jason]

Like your knee. Like your knee.

[Jeff]

Don't listen to them. It's Chimley.

[Si]

Chimley's better. Yeah, thank you. Chimley's better. Hi. Chimley's better. I ain't got chimney. Ain't got nothing to do with her knee.

[Jason]

What?

[Jeff]

I'm never that baby.

[Si]

Lets fire and smoke go up out of your house.

[Jeff]

It's a chimney.

[Si]

It's a chimney.

[Jason]

What do you call, like, a young turkey? What do you call that? Do you call it a jake, a poult, or a pull it? I love it.

[Si]

Hey, the only thing I call a pull it is a pulley bone on a chicken, okay?

[Jason]

There's all them old timers. When you get into little young birds, some of them, I mean, they're poles, but they all say. They all say pullets. I'm like, he, O, U, L, T.

[Si]

Where's that old timers do say pull it.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah. Pull it. Yeah. I like. I Like colloquialisms like that there.

[Jeff]

My dad says wash. Wash?

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

There's an R in there.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Said it his whole life. Or I guess my whole life. I don't know what he was doing before I was born.

[Jason]

He said, wash his underwear yesterday.

[Jeff]

You heard that?

[Jason]

I did hear that.

[Si]

Where my mind went. Where you start talking all this. But I can. I can. Samurai young fryer chickens just flopping without their head in my yard in the backyard.

[Jeff]

What happened to their head?

[Jason]

I thought we were laughing. I'm a.

[Si]

Walked out there and had a handful of chickens in one hand. Just gabbing, just like that. Throw the head away. Because we sneaks that fried chicken.

[Jeff]

And y' all just threw the heads in the yard.

[Si]

Yeah. Dogs would get them later if time

[Jason]

machines become a thing. I'm going back to Yalls house.

[Jeff]

When you were 12, Vivian, Louisiana.

[Jason]

1. I got to see this old boy with his eyeball hanging.

[Jeff]

I need to meet Eagle, the pigeon whose head was backwards.

[Si]

Here's what's so funny.

[Jason]

And I need to watch Mamie and the other dog kill every cat in the neighborhood.

[Si]

You wouldn't believe what kind of. I guess I don't even know what you'd. What holds your eyeball in. Look.

[Jeff]

I believe it's your skull. I believe that.

[Si]

No, no, look.

[Jason]

Your orbital.

[Si]

Hey, look. Here was his eyeball just dangling right here.

[Jeff]

His eye was dangling four inches.

[Si]

Yeah. The only thing I've ever seen to imagine was. Is I killed a deer in Germany, look. And I. No, no. I shot this deer between the eyes. And when I walked. I can't even tell it. When I walked up there, look, his brain was laying over on the ground, Look. And the spinal column was about 12 inches long. Still attached to it.

[Jason]

All I can think of is that movie Blue Streak. You remember that one with Martin Lawrence and Dave Chappelle in it. And he says he stick his fingers. Yeah. The eyeballs fall out. The eyeballs fall out. He's so bad.

[Phil]

I think what happened is, like. I think he watched, like, Predator or something. Like the old one with Arnold. And, like, he'll mix that movie with his stories.

[Jeff]

You know what I'm saying?

[Phil]

That's the only thing I can think of with this.

[Si]

He's fine.

[Jason]

He's got a lot of creative license.

[Jeff]

That kid walked in the hospital holding his eyeball by his cheek.

[Jason]

And what y' all do? Put it in a cooler. Like when you cut off a finger.

[Jeff]

Like pop it back in there.

[Si]

Oh, look. All Mama did.

[Jeff]

Look, stay away from my eyeballs.

[Si]

To push it back in.

[Jeff]

Just started reaching over here.

[Phil]

But I'm saying, did you ever see that kid again? Was. Did he look right or was his eye sideways?

[Jason]

Did he see around corners?

[Phil]

He was.

[Si]

Hey, that kid never came back.

[Phil]

You never saw him again?

[Si]

He'd never come back to the house.

[Jeff]

I think I saw him in the Hunt.

[Si]

Okay. He was a one time shower. Okay. He showed up one time, got his eyeball knocked out. Hey, that was it.

[Jeff]

Do you know his name?

[Si]

Nope.

[Jason]

We live in a world where this is searchable.

[Si]

Why not?

[Jeff]

Why are you gonna search this?

[Jason]

I'm gonna say it's.

[Si]

I knocked out TV in Louisiana.

[Jason]

Can you get your eye knocked out of.

[Jeff]

I thought you were looking for the

[Jason]

person and put it back in. I'm just curious. I mean, I just feel like when that thing leaves, there's no going back.

[Jeff]

I don't want to see it.

[Jason]

Well, that's why I'm searching. I'm not looking for images.

[Si]

Let me tell you. It's tied in there with sinew and everything and all the nerve endings and all that.

[Jeff]

Sinewagy.

[Si]

I'm serious. It was at least 4 inches hanging out his eye. I sock it.

[Jason]

Wow. They go through chat. GPT goes through all the steps to do it. You know what it says first, though? Do not try to force it back in by yourself.

[Jeff]

That's why he got his mom.

[Si]

Well, hey, mom was a no.

[Jason]

Cover the eye lightly, don't apply pressure, and get to an ER immediately.

[Si]

That's what mama did. Mom push it in. Look, and then wrap, wrap gauze, right? So it don't fall back out.

[Jason]

But in severe trauma, car accidents, major blows that can occur. If you're asking out of curiosity, I can explain what it feels like or how movies exaggerated. If you're asking because it's happened to you, please go to the er. It's gonna stop and search. But thank you, Chad. GPT.

[Phil]

Well, it would be the friend of the person who.

[Jeff]

Can you like, look around?

[Jason]

I have no idea.

[Jeff]

Like, like, can you all of a sudden just. Can you control it?

[Jason]

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[Si]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jason]

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[Phil]

Okay. Do you want to talk about what you want?

[Jason]

Yeah, what you got?

[Jeff]

I just had some kids get the cops called on them for fishing on a golf course and wanted size opinion but.

[Jason]

Oh yeah, well we still cover that. We got a little bit side.

[Si]

Wait a minute. This is the cops called?

[Jeff]

No, no, this is the email of the day. But it's just a, you know, local Facebook as a treasure trove of activity. Today police were called on three kids ages 9 and 12 for fishing in a pond on Frenchman's Bend golf course. I'm just gonna say the name. Not only was there police called, they tried to press charges on the kids for fishing. And I need your opinion because you

[Si]

number one, what was they going to charge him with?

[Jeff]

I guess trespassing.

[Si]

Trespassing? Yeah. Well then what are you talking about? That fishing ain't got nothing to do with it. But that's what they were doing. Well, yeah, but hey, but do their

[Phil]

parents live on the trust site?

[Jeff]

Yes. Well then in the neighborhood.

[Si]

I'll tell you what it is. Here's the Problem? I would, hey, they fertilize the greens every day.

[Jeff]

Yeah, yeah, because you're a groundskeeper, so I know. Would you run these kids off and call the cops?

[Si]

No, because hey, I drove my superintendent of the golf course nuts telling him, hey, you need to do three or four things here. There's a lot of ducks on them ponds. You didn't let me duck hunt. There's a lot of deer destroying the greens. You need to let me kill them because there's a bunch of bucks. And then you let me fish in it because the ponds are full of fish and y' all are making them grow bigger and bigger by fertilizing them greens every every day.

[Jason]

Triple 13. Make you grow big man, I'm telling you.

[Si]

So you think the kids should be allowed to fish on the golf course? Yeah, they said, hey, that's where all your game is.

[Jason]

Best hunting in the world. Golf course.

[Si]

That's right.

[Jeff]

You don't want kids hunting and fishing. Don't work at a golf course, sir.

[Jason]

It was a golf course employee that wanted to run them off.

[Jeff]

The guy that runs it, runs it. Called the cops on a nine year old mission.

[Si]

I like to drove mine. He probably would have called him on me if I slipped in.

[Jeff]

And then he held the kids tackle

[Si]

box till the cops got stayed on him.

[Jason]

What a tool.

[Si]

She stayed on this boy till he finally let me fish. But I didn't get to hunt. But he did let the other employees hunt. This guy said, hey, he called me. A buddy of mine called me, you know, he says, guess what I just killed on, on, you know, number nine. And I said, what? He said that 14 buck we used to watch when we was mowing. I said, you shot him? He said, dead as a hammer. I said, everywhere. Here's what you do for me. When you go in in the morning, walk in there, grab the superintendent by the scuff of his neck, pull him forward and break his nose. Thought, hey, I didn't get to do it.

[Phil]

Get you in a self charge.

[Jeff]

I do believe the copy.

[Phil]

I think it depends on the course. Obviously, you know, if you show up.

[Si]

Oh no, they're not. Nope.

[Phil]

Let you do that.

[Si]

Nope. Any course, golf course has got woods in it. There's going to be game, period. Especially the blue wing till.

[Jason]

Oh boy, don't you really have something there.

[Si]

Oh, hey, well, hey, a lot of fun to shoot.

[Jeff]

I did think those kids need to go watch that first season of Duck Dynasty whenever they were frogging on the golf course. And hey, what's it Feel just dipped.

[Si]

What you should have done is they should have took the. A picture of the kids with all the fish that it's caught.

[Jeff]

Oh, there is one, is it? Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean, the only way you got a leg to stand on is if these kids are just leaving like trash or something. I mean, if they're. If there's documented.

[Jeff]

Tell them to leave or.

[Phil]

I'm saying if somebody's like, playing golf,

[Jason]

I would make them. I would make them pick it up. I would never call the.

[Si]

Hey, I can answer that. Because I had to explain to the superintendent what I wanted to fish. He said, well, hey, we got a tournament, but you can't fish. I said, hey, look, I know the golfers got priority. I said, when they come up to putt and all that, I'll stand back in the woods till they leave. And then as soon as they leave, I'm back at catching in. Big crappie.

[Jason]

What a golf course, huh?

[Si]

Freshman's been.

[Jason]

Oh, that place.

[Si]

Trash golf course.

[Jeff]

And hey, my favorite part is all the rednecks of Westminster, like, we're coming on Friday, dog. And I'm like, I might show up, too.

[Si]

Huntsville Main Golf Course. Oh, well, that's where I work.

[Phil]

Huntsville, Maine Golf course.

[Jason]

Now that'd be funny. Everybody just show up and fish all the ponds at Frenchman this weekend.

[Si]

Oh, hey, look, I'm telling you now

[Jeff]

you want to go.

[Si]

Hey, you talking about would I go where I'd go? I'm telling you, hey, I caught a four pound crappie out of one of them ponds on. On Huntsville.

[Jeff]

Hold on.

[Si]

I didn't weigh it, but I'm telling you, the sucker weighed four pounds.

[Jason]

What happened to him, huh?

[Si]

I put him on the stringer because they were biting.

[Jason]

This is my favorite part of this.

[Si]

Yeah. When I went over and got up my stringer, as soon as I picked it up, I said, oh, what's wrong? I got turned it around and all that's left of that 4 pound crappie is his head. My guy.

[Jeff]

I guess this is on Facebook, so it's public.

[Phil]

Anyway.

[Si]

There you go, boy.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a kid out there.

[Si]

That's the reason he should be fishing. He will throw that one away or take it home and eat it.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Jason]

There you go.

[Si]

He's too little.

[Jason]

And he probably shops at the Honey Hole.

[Jeff]

I don't know that I know him, but I know his next door neighbor that shops all the time. And I texted my buddy, I said, did your kid almost get arrested for fishing? Because if so, I got a seat for him.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's.

[Si]

That'd be about. Hey, you know what I'd have done if I'd have got arrested by cops when I was a teenager fishing on the pond or a golf course?

[Jeff]

It's probably not.

[Si]

That would have been correct. That would have been a badge of under. Okay, tell me, hey, what'd you do to flash fatty when you skip school? I said, hey, I got locked up by the police.

[Jeff]

For fishing on a golf course.

[Si]

That's right. For fishing on a pond on a golf course.

[Jason]

I come from a long line of poachers.

[Si]

That's right.

[Jeff]

It's true. There's got to be a way they can let the kids fish, though. There's an uproar. Let's figure something out so they. Movement can fish somewhere and the old farts can play golf.

[Si]

Let's start a movement. I mean, these kids fish these golf course, pond.

[Jason]

I used to play a lot of golf. Somebody fishing would have never bothered.

[Phil]

I've seen it.

[Jason]

I mean, that's what I'm saying. Like Pine Hills used to be fished all the time when we'd play.

[Jeff]

I mean, you think that kid's out just trying to cause destruction?

[Jason]

No. And that thing needs to be out of that pot.

[Si]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

How sad he is.

[Si]

How small the fish. That's the type you catch and you take them home where you need them.

[Jeff]

There you go.

[Jason]

I can't need a haircut. Yeah.

[Si]

So the other ones can.

[Jason]

Oh, you know that one. Oh, yeah.

[Jeff]

His dad was in my wedding. We're good.

[Jason]

Oh, there you go.

[Jeff]

I'm taking up the charge to get.

[Jason]

He'd catch bigger fish if he could see him. Get that hair out of.

[Si]

Hey, that's a good picture there.

[Jeff]

Well, these are the guys that said they're going on Friday. Who that Wade fishes Darbone.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff]

He said, I'm going. And I say, these two rednecks are gonna show up.

[Si]

Yes, that. That's fun there. Yeah, they waiting and catching them. Oh, it is.

[Jason]

It is fun.

[Si]

Wait up there. And there he is in his little, little pocket. Yeah, Come on out there.

[Jason]

Especially if you live in the neighborhood. Why would they ever. That's. That's done. Yeah.

[Si]

Anyways, I call their stingy dingy. Well, I want you to catch him a little fish. Hey, that's why. Hey, if you had to slip in there at night.

[Jeff]

Slip in there at night.

[Jason]

Anyway, Jeff, we about to roll out of here. You said you.

[Jeff]

You said you brought us something to tell us.

[Jason]

You want to talk about.

[Phil]

I just needed so I did want to thank. We had some people that sponsored some kids because of the last podcast I was on.

[Si]

Okay, we go. I talked.

[Phil]

I talked to them. Most of them. I left voicemails. Others I talked to do from Oklahoma today. Good dude. He actually just came down here and fished. Weirdly enough with God one.

[Si]

No.

[Phil]

I just want to. So people know, like, here's a kid we have you can sponsor. I just wanted to describe a kid. So watch it if you're thinking about it. I know.

[Si]

That's the good part.

[Jason]

I come out of Goblin shoe.

[Jeff]

All right, this.

[Si]

They become personal because you get to know them.

[Phil]

They said, well, yeah, I got a picture of that.

[Si]

Her name is Edie.

[Jeff]

Here, send it.

[Phil]

Hey, hold on.

[Jeff]

Send me a picture. I'm.

[Phil]

I'll send it to you.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Phil]

So 40 bucks a month.

[Si]

40 bucks. You waste 40 bucks in a movie.

[Jeff]

I didn't know y' all were getting in here for this. That's 120 between the three of you.

[Phil]

You guys are in right here.

[Jason]

I can tell I didn't tell you all about this.

[Si]

Hey, that'd be 40. 40, 40. Hey, there you go. 2020.

[Phil]

All right, well, let me talk about the girl real quick. Her name is Edie. That's not her real name, but that's what we call her because her name's really long.

[Jeff]

But how old are the names?

[Phil]

She has four other siblings. Her dad is disabled, which stinks, and that's kind of why they're in a jam. Her mama works hard labor all day, all the time, but over there, you ain't making money and you ain't got no handouts. So this is the kind of kid we. We would like to help. She wants to be a teacher when she grows up. She's really good at school, so that 40 bucks pays for all her school groceries for the family, you know, takes care of them, so. So they can actually do something with their life. So think about 80, you know, if you're thinking about giving all God's children, dawg, There you go. It's awesome. We'd appreciate it.

[Si]

The money is not wasted.

[Phil]

That's right.

[Si]

The money goes for a good cause.

[Jason]

Yeah. There you go. Well, thank you. We're done. Are we won't close it.

[Si]

What are you going to. What is the Almighty going to let us know?

[Jason]

Let them.

[Jeff]

I'm waiting for the Almighty to let me know what I should let everybody else.

[Jason]

Where does it say in there? Let them eat fish?

[Jeff]

Well, Jesus ate fish, but I've done that one many times.

[Jason]

Elijah That's a good one.

[Jeff]

I'm. I'm just. I'm going out on a limb here

[Si]

will be fish fries in heaven, boy.

[Jeff]

That's confirmed because. Confirmed because. There it is. I knew it. I said I do it. I'm going to go to allgods children.org and I'm just going to find the first Bible verse somewhere on their page, and that's going to be the one. Matthew 18:5. Whoever receives one child in my name receives me.

[Phil]

Boom.

[Jeff]

Nailed it.

[Si]

Don't get any better than that, boy.

[Jeff]

Let's go and fish the golf course.

[Jason]

We'll see y' all next time. Right here in the duck call room.

[Si]

Oh. Just shot my deer. Sam.