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Foreign.
B
Welcome back to the Duck Call room, ladies and gentlemen. We are here this fine evening with Dr. Lee Long, who, let's be honest, we've found in our inbox. Man, we just met him and we just. So what's crazy about this Dr. Lee? So that you have a little background on us. We're a bunch of rednecks, don't know anything. To be fair. We make our living telling long yarns, exaggerated tales for the most part, but we took it exaggerated. Yeah, they're all exaggerated. We're fishermen and hunters. That happens. Which is. This may be a way bigger deal for you as far as. Man, these people are crazy because you're from the big city of Fort Worth. This obviously is not. Yes, Fort Worth. Not Fort Worth. No, this is. We are not in Fort Worth anymore. And. But we had a. What. What is she? What is Emily?
A
There's a ton of letters after her name, but. Licensed adult and family therapist.
B
There we go. We had Emily. Who was that? A couple of weeks ago, and it went really well with our audience. So now we're kind of just trudging down this road.
A
Well, it's Mental Health Awareness Month.
B
It is Mental Health Awareness Month. And we.
C
What are you a Doctor of Education.
D
Education. I have an edd. It's a Doctorate of Education, but in that it's therapy and traumatology. And I work with all kinds of people, individuals, marriage and family, teenagers. So I've been a therapist for almost 30 years and seen. I've worked in juvenile detention centers. I've worked in alternative schools where the young people are, I like to say, invited to leave. They're really kicked out. But then I've worked in hospitals. I've worked in. And now I have a private practice in the Dallas Fort Worth area. We have offices in Dallas and Fort Worth and some other places. But yeah, we work with a lot of different age groups.
C
There you go again. This got me going. The first question was, okay. And then I said, okay, we are. We are our own problem with your. Your learned man, educated man. You know, how are we going to fix this?
D
Oh, I love that question. I think that it starts with your values. And a faithful man would say his values are based on God in that relationship. If you're not a faithful person, then it's your values. The next is that you have to learn you how you show up in the world if something bothers you. Why are we aware of it? Or do we. Because. Or do we try to change other people? See, I see all too often.
C
I think I Think that's another one of our problems. Okay. Because especially in. In the field of marriage.
D
Yes.
C
You know, I fall in love with this young lady. Okay. And then when we get married, then I try to change her. And that's so stupid, because some of the things I'm trying to change is the reason I fell in love with her to begin with.
D
Spot on.
C
Because this is. This is helping me because I've already learned two things that, you know today.
B
Look at you. That's because you came in well rested. You came in right out of a nap.
C
Yeah. That's another thing to help, because, you know, people say, work through the pain. I always disagreed with the coaches when they said that crap, when they said, well, if you're good, if you got pain, okay. It's. It's saying, stop telling you something.
B
Work harder.
C
No, it's. No, it's saying, stop, work harder.
B
Nobody cares. I built a whole brand.
C
Yeah, but that coach didn't care. Yeah.
B
Yeah. Interesting.
C
Well, no, no, because I'm looking at where the world is right now. Okay. And it's. It's kind of fitting, really, when you think about this podcast to be this day. We're fixing to celebrate 250 years of freedom. Okay. And that for a country uneducated redneck, I have difficulties with what the human race is doing.
A
I agree.
D
And I think that we've lost perspective of ourselves.
C
Well, from my childhood to now, we've changed so drastically.
B
I think that's kind of what he's saying, that the change. The self image has changed and the lack of awareness of self and the right is. I mean, I'm not trying to speak for you, but that's what I'm gathering. I'm gathering. I'm gathering that from what you're saying.
C
No, no, what. What you're saying is important.
D
It is.
C
He said something, and this is what you got out of it, which is solid.
B
Yeah, that's what I've gathered from what he said so far, which hadn't been a tone, but I, you know, I said it with. With Emily. Is she doctor to Dr. Emily. I just want to make sure I show people the right.
D
She did such an amazing job, by
A
the way, because we're. We're all bachelor's degrees guys ourselves, and it took us as long as to get a doctor.
B
Yeah. I mean, that's fine. That's fine. You call me whatever you want to, but I like making sure people get their respect. But I told her, and I'm telling you, I think it's A cool time to be alive in the fact that a lot of the stigma involved with therapy and counseling and all that has kind of gone away, and it is decreasing where it's not. You're not categorically seeing as something's wrong with you because you go to therapy or counseling, you know, it's like you're working on yourself. And I think that's a good job on your part because it takes you guys producing a good product to make that where it's okay.
C
Well, like, no, your point on this, that I get. Okay. Is that, hey, guys, if you got a problem, it's okay. Yeah. This is life. And, hey, life brings problems.
D
It does.
B
Yeah, Absolutely.
C
Don't be afraid to say, hey, yeah, yo, hey, buddy, I need help.
B
Yeah. So.
A
But why do you. We have an expert here. Why do you think that is? Like, it is. The stigma's gone. I know more therapists than I ever thought I would. It's like we're mental health awareness month. Yet so many people still stuck in that world and don't know how to get the help. Why do you think that is?
D
Because I think people come to therapy to try to fix everything outside of them rather than slowing down to look at themselves. I had a gentleman show up in my office who had been in therapy for 11 years, and he wanted a new therapist. So he showed up.
B
Yeah. After 11 years, I'd say that's about time.
C
Yeah. He's blaming the wrong person. Well, looking for a way out.
D
Right. And the question that I asked him was, but where are you in those situations? And it was dumbfounding to him at first, but then he stepped back and kept looking at, well, where am I in that moment?
C
Where.
D
What do I. What do I think? What do I feel? What do I believe? And what am I experiencing? And when I can see that, then I have the power to make change rather than giving that away to somebody else. And I think that the more we. If we're not careful, we can go to therapy. But if we're trying to make the world different, we're. It's a losing battle. It all starts with us.
C
Think about that when you said, okay, And I'm going to bring in my brother, okay. For 28 years, Phil run with the devil, okay. And K, his wife. He even said he was the devil, okay? But he. He educated me. And the Bible verse is, you know, don't try to get the two before out of your brother's eye until you get the one out of your eye. And that's why I'm saying that I had more trouble in the military because my parents raised me as a Christian. The people I love most in this world, my mom and dad, well, they raised me from infancy. Honesty is always best part. Mama beat you half to death if you lied to her. Okay? If you told the truth, he wouldn't get a whooping. Yeah, but if you lied to her and she knew it. Yo, sometimes you say, I'm sorry, I went too far. Yeah. But hey, you know, just the thing is we were. We're always. Because people do it all the time. They blame. They blame God for all the bad stuff. When God. God don't do bad stuff. Okay? There's another guy here, and it's the devil. That's the one that does all the bad stuff. And here's the thing. He's after you to get you to do his bad stuff. You know, But I. I just. It really bothers me. And. And it's just. It's the way the human being is. Yeah. Because when we. When we're hurting and we need help, we're so stupid, we won't ask for it.
B
All right, look. Springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y' all know we love to eat beef around here, and that's because of our friends over at Tryls. Beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good?
A
It's so good. It's our friend S. Robertson would say, buy on the grill.
B
Look, before we got Tryls getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef come from.
A
But.
B
But with trails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Trails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while now. Look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribeyes on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire. That's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritels beef. I know in size case. Christine Loves it. Which is just a. She doesn't eat meat.
C
She ain't a big me. These are folks.
B
Yeah, just go to tribe.comduck. that's tribe.comduck. support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. So you ever have them people show up to you to think they're smarter than you are? Sure. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I bet that's a problem in your line of work. Like, yeah, I go to therapy and the whole time that person's thinking, oh, I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna slick him. Like, ain't nothing wrong with me. Watch this. Well, I'm about to.
A
That person comes to me all the time.
B
Yeah, I'm about to get on. I'm about to get on. Look, I'm gonna get on. Chat GPT. I'm gonna use all these fancy words in front of Doc. He. He gonna say, I ain't nothing wrong with me. You need to get out of here.
C
Like, yeah, I guarantee you the Christian Hawkins on
B
Josie.
C
Well, Josie Wells. Yeah, all that. All that don't mean doodle.
B
Yeah, all that big talk don't do squat.
D
It doesn't. Because it comes down to relationship.
B
There. There we go.
C
Hey, that right there. When people ask me and since I go out and speak a lot and they. When I'm leaving, they said, you know what, what words of wisdom are you going to leave us with there, Uncle Sigh. And I always tell them the same thing. There ain't one important thing on this earth, your relationship, first with the Almighty and then your relationship with everyone around you.
B
So why do you figure. So you're saying he wants to add
A
on, but what about your relationship with yourself?
B
With yourself? That's what I was about to ask.
D
Because it's out of the face of Jesus Christ and it's one of the very few, if not the only time that he answered a question very directly and didn't give a parable. And the question came to him with a Pharisee attorney that said, okay, Rabbi, of all of these laws, they were two good Hebrew scholars that knew there were 613 laws. Which one of these is the greatest? Now, I'm no attorney, but I know that's a really good deposition question, right? So he answers it and he says, love.
B
And.
D
And I always say, thank you, Bono is the highest law.
A
Thank you, Love God.
D
Love the Lord, your God with our heart, soul and mind. And the second one is much like the first, that you would love your neighbor.
B
How?
D
In the same way you love yourself. And I look at that and say it's an inverted sentence.
C
And we don't think about it. We don't think about really what it's saying.
D
Correct.
A
What it's like to love yourself.
B
What it's like to love yourself.
D
You can't take somebody somewhere you haven't been.
C
Yeah, well, we always look at the. What? The peripherals, the outside guilty of the
B
other side of that. Taking them places. I have been.
C
No, because I make the point with my military career, okay, My wife would always. I'd come home saying, well, the colonel threw me out of his office again. We had a big fight, you know, and now it's going to be hell for about two weeks, you know, till we get over this. And she start laughing. And I said, what's so funny? She said, you're your worst enemy. And I said, I know it. I said, but here's the thing. When I get up my morning and brush my teeth, looking in the mirror, I've got to like this guy I'm looking at.
D
That's exactly right.
C
And I said, so you know, I'm having trouble with this idiot. Why you pointed me, okay, that I'm. Well, obvious that yo, I'm that in charge of me.
B
I ain't that.
D
Can I press a little bit?
C
Yes, sir.
D
Yes.
B
There we go.
D
But if, if this guy is an idiot, who's in charge of me? Where's your power?
C
Well, that's part of the problem.
B
That's another one of them good deposition questions.
C
He ain't even an attorney. I have too much power.
D
Okay, over what though?
C
Well, yeah, well, now, see, that's where the problem comes. That's where the problem comes. Okay, this is far learning. Pre experienced, guys.
B
That old man done got God over. Well, no, no, I can see it on his face when he gets got.
A
He's like, dad, Gummet, the river didn't hit boys.
C
Well, no, because hey, that's the deal about, hey, don't look at the two before in your brother's eye.
B
Oh, amen.
C
Or you get the one out of yours.
B
Amen.
A
What do you think?
C
And that was, that's, that was my problem.
D
Trying to get the two by fours out of everybody.
C
Yeah. It's just, you know.
B
Yeah. You stumbling around one eye, back to the point.
C
Hey, I've got to like myself, okay, Before I'm any good to anyone else.
B
Right? Amen.
D
And that's been a question that I get when I've talked about this for as many years as I have is, well, aren't you building narcissist out of all of this, this self focus. And my answer to that is no, you. That just shows me you don't understand narcissism.
C
This is where. When people ask me a question, and I always.
B
I've been watching a lot of shows,
C
guys, you've got to look at this. Jesus died for this no good human being.
D
Can I press again?
C
Yeah.
D
You're made in his image. That makes.
C
No, no, I know, I know.
D
That makes you not know. Good.
C
I'm looking at myself and I'm putting myself where I should be. Well, you should be a relationship to him.
D
I'm coming for you.
C
I don't understand. No, no. Because I don't understand how he can love me when I'm a complete failure in 99% of the stuff that I do.
D
But are you.
C
But no. See, that's why I'm not. Again, my analogy of myself is in error. Okay? Because you said it. Hey, I'm created in his image, for crying out loud.
B
Amen.
D
And a really interesting thing that hit me as I was training for a long foot race. It was an ultramarathon. I was running along and I was. I was by myself.
C
Therapy.
A
If you decide you signed up for that.
D
I did.
C
I did.
D
And voluntarily. I didn't lose a bet.
B
Oh, my.
C
Be good. Because, hey, that. That is in the Bible a lot. That, hey, you're in a race, don't get in a rush.
D
So I'm running.
C
Only thing. The only thing I want you to do is finish. You know, that's God talking.
A
He had an epiphany on the road.
D
So I was by myself. And those who know me know that I'm not normally by myself. I love people way too much. But I was by myself. And I wasn't listening to earbuds. And I was running along by the river and the sun was coming up and there were these ducks just flying in and landing on the water. It was gorgeous. And I was looking around thinking, man, God, you're such an artist. And all of this is just for me. Nobody's out here. It's just me. And it was almost as if. And it wasn't audible. I don't need medication. I'm kidding. But it was almost like it was audible that he said, when you look in the mirror, does the reflection of my image coming back to you cause you as much awe as all of this does? None of this is made in my image. You are. Yeah, that stopped me in my tracks,
C
which is a profound statement.
B
Yeah, that's deep. That's Way deeper than we've ever been.
C
No, that's a profound statement.
B
That's wild.
C
I ain't never even when you, you know. And so I, I've. I've got to. I gotta recalculate. And then when I look in the mirror, I've got to say to myself,
B
remember, but think of the most beautiful
C
place I made you in my image.
D
Yes. And he says, if you say you love me but hate your brother.
C
Yeah.
D
Lie.
C
You're a liar and the truth ain't in you.
B
Well.
D
And what did your mama do when you told lies?
C
Well, no, no.
B
Say I'm joking with you.
C
No, no, because just, you know,
B
and we're.
C
I knew it was going to be. I learned a lot and I am.
B
Yeah, we're two for two on therapist.
C
Well, no, no, this is awesome.
A
Well, that was, that was good there.
B
But I got a question, so I'm going to let you turn on that and I'm going to ask you go. What has killed the image of ourselves and why we love ourselves? I mean, there. Obviously there's never one thing, right? Like, it's generally a conglomerate of things, but the thing that you would deem most responsible for the biggest decline of loving ourselves is it. Is it comparison? Like, you know, is it social media? Is it. Is it your phone looking at your life and comparing it to everybody else's highlight reel and your highlight reel and your mind doesn't stack up to their highlight reel. So therefore I'm miserable and they're, you know, like that kind of deal. Or, or is there something. Something else? I mean, I'm just asking, like, in your. Your professional opinion.
D
I think that's it. I think that we, again, we live life outside of ourselves. That's through comparison. I think it's through, you know, mind reading. Not. Not thinking about. Not. Not. Or thinking about what somebody else thinks of you without taking the space to, to clarify, like an assumption, basically.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
D
Are trying to control the world around us because we're afraid to enter into it. And I, I think that, you know, anxiety and depression are on, you know, a steep, steep incline. And I think that, you know, those things cause us to. To shut down. Like, we don't. We won't reach out and, you know, be open to things. We're afraid of things. And so we don't interpersonally engage with others. And I think it keeps us closed off and we miss out on relationships. And I see relationships are some of the. I think, relate. There's. There's data on How. Like what? Like what is what brings the most happiness?
B
I'm.
D
Hopefully that makes sense.
B
Yeah. Yeah.
D
60% of. Of people who say that they're 60% of the happiness that people experience is all based in relationship. Like, that's. That's more than half.
B
I can see that. Your relationship with your wife, kids, your co workers.
D
Right.
B
Like, if those things are good.
D
Yes.
B
Then you deem life to be pretty.
C
Well, that's right. That's like the thing. If mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
B
Yeah. Well, a lot of truth to that.
C
Oh, and there's. Yeah.
B
He was made in his image, too, though.
C
Yeah.
B
You know, Gotta remember that.
C
I like that. I like that.
B
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A
We've established that we're all here and in this, right?
C
Yep.
A
We're all on this earth. Even if.
B
Even if you think it don't matter if it's round or flat, you're still here.
A
You're still here. Even if you think, hey, at some point, kaboom, and you got here. I mean, I have A hard time. I'm with psy. Kabooms don't normally make much happen, but not.
B
I generally end the other way.
C
Yeah.
A
So we're all here, and we're all in this. Dr. Lee, where am I in this?
D
I see what you do.
A
That's just such a deep question.
B
Yeah.
A
And that's the title of the book. So I'm like, okay, let's just. I mean, 255 pages is a lot, but.
D
Yes.
A
And I'm very simple. So, like, where's.
D
Where's that head as far as.
B
What.
D
What's the book about?
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
Or if you want to just let me know where I need to be in this whole situation.
C
What was the title of your book again?
A
Where am I in this?
D
It's. It's. It's Weight. Where am I in this? Because weight is an acronym. Because in my field, there has to be a lot of acronyms.
C
That is true.
D
I mean, you. You guys learned about emdr, right? There's an acronym. Weight is an acronym for where am I in this? Oh, the title.
A
We keep getting really smart people on this show, and I think it is a recipe.
B
I thought. Wait was. I thought. Wait was. Was really weight.
D
It is.
B
Because it. You know what it is? It's both.
C
W, A I T. Yes. Or the other one.
B
Yeah, yeah. Oh, I got that other one on lockdown. Don't worry about the W. Wait, where
A
am I in this? About 220.
C
Yeah.
B
Yeah.
C
Well, no, it's a good question. Okay. Because you know, and I will change the weight.
B
Who.
C
Okay. What purpose do you serve?
D
Yeah.
C
What is your purpose in here?
B
Wait, time out now, man.
A
I already wrote the book. Don't change the title.
B
Yeah, that's too late.
C
We should.
B
You should have been on the first round of what they call it edit. Yeah, you should. No, but I do think it.
C
I think I change words on people all the time.
B
Well, no. You know what I love you just
A
called Pensacola Pepsi Cola.
C
Yeah.
A
And that was just moments ago. I don't know if anybody else caught it.
B
Praise God.
A
Yeah.
B
The. No, What I find super interesting is
A
we've all thought that.
B
Well, and Dr. Lee, he's either a brother in Christ.
D
Yes.
B
Or that boy has spent a lot of time studying that Bible. I'm going. I'm going to choose to believe it's the first. And he just confirmed it with the yes on that. But whenever the first com. When his book title is Wait, there's one thing that God always says in that book for us, and it's to be still. Like, wait, be patient and be still. I mean, there's a lot of different ways that he says, essentially for today's English language, wait. And so I think that pause in this is critical. I think that's a critical part of your title of just the waiting. Right. The. The. Just the stopping and. And taking a second to look at yourself. Because, I mean, we all do it. Right. You look at somebody, they're the problem there. Yes. And they very well may be.
D
They may be part of it.
B
They may be part of the problem, but your reaction to whatever they're doing is equal and opposite, depending on which law of thermodynamics you want to go down.
D
But it's even there.
B
Yeah.
D
In that law.
C
Right.
B
Yeah, that's. That's what the.
D
Brilliant.
B
Yeah, but that's what I was getting at. Like, the weight is, you know, I love that it's an acronym for the whole thing. I never put that together. Kudos to that, by the way. Yeah, that's a good one. But I think that moment of just stopping and looking at yourself, that introspection, I mean, it's something that I try to stay mindful of and do all the time. Um, but I'm also an introvert, so looking at myself, pretty easy for me. Like, I mean, that's just like you said, running by yourself is a strange thing. That's the only time I'm going to run if I'm by myself, because I don't want, A, I don't want to be dragging other people down, and B, I don't want to buy. See me. I got a whole reverse Baywatch thing going on. Yeah. You know, being 40, a lot of. A lot of jiggling in places you shouldn't be, you know, Reverse watch. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody's watching that saying, dang,
A
but where are you going?
B
I'm trying to get there. But we, you know, you end up down these side roads and things happen, but it is an interesting time in the world to sit by yourself. When we long for relationships and we think we have them because of social media, but that's not a relationship. That's not. That's just a bunch of typing and a bunch of places for people to air their frustration. So you may look and say, well, I got a thousand friends, or whatever you like. No, you don't. At best case, how many friends do we actually have? Like, friend, friend. Very few friends that you can call it to drop. You know, one of my biggest problem is three and a half of them. Are here. Me and Hunter are working on that. On getting to that level, but that's what I'll say. I know I could call you. And if you're awake, you'll move heaven and earth to do whatever I need you to do for me. I know you will. Same with you. Same with Johnny Godwin. Y' all don't see him sitting over there. But I know that's the case. And so is it those relationships that are suffering too because of our. I mean, when you look at typical people's friend group, like, you know, it just doesn't exist anymore. Like for a lot of people. Right. Especially for a younger generation, it's. It seems.
D
Well, I think you're spot on.
B
Yeah. Because I'm. I got like buddies, kids that are now teenagers and stuff. And like, I look down, I'm like, oh wait, they think we're friends because they don't have a lot of peers of their own that they're. And I'm cool with that. Like I'm cool with being friends with 13 year old. Like that's fine with me. Doesn't bother me at all because it keeps me young in. In a. In a sense. Like now I don't know what they're saying half the time, but. Or what any of it means.
D
Lexicon for that.
B
Yeah. I need something. But I had to visit with young Rhodes over here for that and get a. Yeah. Get a dictionary. For what? A lot of that.
A
I don't understand what the kids are even saying.
B
Yeah. And some of them, I mean, they're your kid. My kids aren't quite old enough for that.
A
I just repeat what they say and hope it's not vulgar.
B
But I mean, it seems like that's missing more. Like when I was growing up, where were 20 of us at any given time that would have been running around together? Right. Like. And we were most of the time into mischief. I'm not going to deny that part.
C
We were.
D
But we were guys on missions.
B
Yeah. We had something. We had some end goal. No matter what. You know, it was dumb. Most of them were dumb. And we will pay for them once we reach 60 for sure. For doing. Putting our bodies through dumb stuff on four wheelers and.
D
Yeah.
B
And jumping off bridges and other stupid crap that we did.
D
Yeah. We wouldn't have pushed past the pause. We might have done fewer dumb things though.
B
Yeah, but you didn't. You never. You didn't have time to pause then. It was all gas, no breaks.
D
Well, our adult brain wasn't formed yet.
B
Yeah.
D
This this prefrontal cortex up here wasn't formed.
B
Yeah, I'm still waiting on that to come in.
A
Yeah, I don't jump off bridges near as quick as I used to.
B
Yeah, no, but that ain't saying I won't. The right opportunity comes around.
C
You got. You said something about being alone. Just you.
B
Oh, yeah.
C
Is that part of our problem?
B
Isolation.
C
Isolation.
D
Oh, I think loneliness is an epidemic right now.
B
Yeah.
D
I mean, people have described that they're lonelier this year than they were last year by like 20%. Little more than that.
C
But yeah, those. Cause something is happening, okay. And it ain't good right now with our, with our young people. Cause like, you know, I've got eight grandsons and like the, the dating nowadays is. Is insane.
D
How so?
B
Oh, I don't even want to think about it. No, no, I, I ain't even for.
C
Daughter's always talking about her sons and saying she's trying to get them to date, you know, get married. But you know, they all. Every time she says something, they said, oh, we don't do that. And I talked to some kids the other day and they said. They told me the same thing. No, no, no, you don't go talk to a beautiful young lady. And I said, wait a minute, what are you talking about? I said, if I go to a bar and there's a beautiful young woman sitting on a bar stool, why not signage? I said, that's the first time I look around and hey, I look for the finest one in there and that's the one I go for. That's what's wrong with you, boy.
D
But see, that takes confidence in you though. And you've got to know what good you're bringing to the table.
C
No, I love the girls. It ain't no confidence, okay? Yeah, I love the women. Okay.
B
Yeah. One thing you ain't ever struggled from, my friend, is confident. I didn't even know you back then, but I know you now. You ain't ever struggled with self confidence?
C
Well, I just. Yo, but I Look, but that's because
B
you didn't have nothing to compare yourself to except for your brother. I mean, you really didn't. And now you can. Everybody every.
D
The world is open to you.
B
That's what. Yeah, the age information is dangerous because it's.
D
Well, it's dangerous and it's useful.
B
Yeah.
D
I mean it's both. And we've got to figure that.
B
That you got to find the balance of it. Right?
C
I'm a non technical person, okay? Technology may don't get On I've got all kinds of stories. The phones won't work.
B
That surprises you?
C
Don't know, the phones cuss me out, all this stuff. But anyway, seriously, maybe that's foul mouth. Maybe that's the problem because our teenagers today spend 80 hours a week on this stupid thing.
A
Is that real number?
B
No, I don't know.
C
I mean my, that can't be good for anybody.
B
My screen time is between four and a half and five hours per day.
C
Yeah, but they're teenagers. They're on this 35 hours.
B
So you think somebody that really ain't
C
got nothing to do is they're talking to AI and then doing hurting themselves because of what AI tells them.
B
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A
We do have a website though and it's Shopify and my brother in law honeyholeshop.com it's Shopify.
B
It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com dark go to shopify.com that's shopify.com.
D
But if you look at that, what are we looking for? We're looking for connection. Yeah, we're looking for connection. We want relationship. I believe that we were created, we were designed to connect.
C
Oh sure, yeah.
D
And, and when we don't have that.
C
But it ain't this, it ain't to this.
D
I Agree.
C
Not out loud.
D
I agree. I agree. And that's why, to me, this question with the pause in the beginning of it is. Is to understand how am I showing up in the world? Because if I'm showing up all, like, stressy, anxious, angry, mopey, however I'm showing up, then how do. How am I going to be connectable? You know what I'm saying? And so it's like. Like I was thinking about this as. As you. As you were talking, that, you know, my kids play sports and referees, umpires. Can I just get a. You know, sometimes they're tough look, God love them. Like, they're. They do great work.
C
Yes.
D
And for the other two. Exactly. And I'm thinking about watching some of the calls that I was seeing come over the plate, and everything in me wanted to jump out on that field and say, hey, brother, look, you need to. And I wanted to tell him what to do to this. To this umpire. But where am I? I don't have power, and I don't have influence on that field.
C
Back to your question about who's got.
D
So where am I?
C
Sometimes it is about who. Who's got the power, Right?
D
Well, I had my power. And so what I realized watching the first strike that he called, my son just, you know, kind of moved his hips a little bit, just kind of a hip check to see. He was like, yes, he did. And he called that a strike. Well, I wanted to lose my mind, but I didn't. The second pitch that will air quote this, came over the plate, bounced off the plate. The catcher did what every catcher should do, and he framed the ball.
C
Yeah.
D
And he said, that's two.
B
That's a tough.
D
That's when I was like, wait a minute.
C
Bounce off the plate.
D
Bounce off on plate.
C
Yeah.
D
The catcher frames it. He says, that's two. Strike two. And I'm just gripping the seat, just thinking to myself, don't lose your mind here. Where are you? You have no influence. The third one, the catcher slid on his right knee, caught it in the other batter's box, and did what every catcher should.
C
I puts a call.
D
He puts it right. Right over the plate, and he says, strike three, you're out. And I was like, you've got to be kidding me. And it's like, whoa, come back to yourself. Come back to yourself. Where are you in this league? Where are you? And I had to get up, and I had to walk around, and I was so mad because I was like, I want to give him a piece of my mind and say, you just missed three calls. Bad ones, too. But I realized I was like, what am I, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I experiencing? What am I believing? And I was like, I don't want this outcome for my kid, but I don't have power over that. What do I have power over? I have the power over the outcome that my kid's dad is not going to get kicked out of this ball game. Chirping at an umpire.
B
Yeah.
D
And I realized my power is right here. Keeping my mouth shut.
B
Yeah. And a real opportunity to show, well,
C
the only thing you can change is your reaction.
D
That's it. That's it. And if. But, but I. What I see is people coming in saying, I want my mom to have better boundaries. I want my, you know, my husband or my wife to act differently. I want my kids to behave better.
B
Or don't we all? Well, you're forgetting.
C
Like, you're saying you're forgetting, where am I? Where do I come into this?
D
That's exactly right. Where am I in this situation?
C
Am I doing the right thing to try to get the results that I want?
D
If I want my mom to have better boundaries, then it may be that I just have to say, hey, mom, when that topic comes up, I'm really not comfortable with it, so could we please change the subject? I have to have better boundaries.
B
Yeah. You got to be comfortable building them yourself. You can't expect them to build them for you.
C
We need to change. Okay. Really? Like I'll use my looking in the mirror in the morning. Are you doing what you're supposed to be doing to get the results you want?
D
Right, but without judgment and without condemnation.
C
No brow beating yourself. Just, hey, what do I need to change to get the results that I'm seeking?
D
That's it. Think, think about this. If we all approached it that way, what would the world look like better
C
than it does right now?
D
Exactly.
B
Well, and it's the ultimate opportunity to show what freely given to us through Christ too. Right? Grace and mercy. I mean, just the waiting will allow you to show more grace, more mercy, which we've been given the ultimate of that if we say that we're in Christ and we confess with our mouth that we believe in him and we're baptized and all the good things we receive an abundance of grace and mercy. It flows our way and I think so quick, like we. We put up a dam where. When it flows to us, like, you ain't leaving me, like I. You ain't going to keep flowing downhill to Somebody else. And so. Which is a really cool thing to teach. Like, I mean, I had that opportunity with my kids this weekend. Mom was gone and I got visibly frustrated with them. I mean, they're almost four and they were just ripping the pages out of their books. And I'm like, what, What? What are you doing, son? And then Jackson, pages. It's just ripping pages out the book because, you know, they were there because they could. Right? And then one Jackson looks at me and says, daddy, are you mad? And I was like, well, there's real. There's real knee jerk moment. Why am I mad? Why do I care? Why do I care that somebody that's not even four years old just ripped a page out of a book? And I said, you know what? Not anymore. Not after that little humble pie come through there. Yeah, I don't care. We're just gonna pick it up and throw it away and you won't have your book. So there's your real consequence. There's. There's nothing I can teach you. We're just not. You're not gonna have that book anymore because all the pages are ripped out of it. So there you go. No, I'm not mad anymore. Thank you for actually getting me unmad. I appreciate that. And I wouldn't even say it was mad. It was more irritated. I don't know. Yeah. Because to me, mad means a different level. I was just like, you've got to be freaking cool. Kidding me. Like you.
D
That tracks.
A
They turn blue into confetti, man.
B
But you did it.
D
That was it.
B
Yeah, but he did. But I wouldn't have done it had my not even four year old looked up at me and said, dad, are you mad? I thought, no, actually, I'm not. So let's just pick up the mess and let's throw it away.
D
But how many parents would have pushed past that and not listen to their. For your or to. To their son?
B
Yeah, well, luckily for me, I've got twins, so I knew the other one was watching too. And so it was like, not only is he watching me, but his brother's over there in the corner that ain't done nothing yet. And I'm like, oh, I mean, how simple of a question is that, dad, are you mad? I was like,
D
no, he's four that asked that.
B
He will be. He's not quite there yet.
D
That's. First of all, that's brilliant.
B
Yeah.
D
And second of all, he just asked you in almost four year old language, hey, dad, where are you in this?
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we going to put, are we going to put it back together? Yeah, where I'm at, I'm on my way to the trash can with your book. Exactly.
D
Because the beauty, the beautiful thing about that was there was a consequence because we don't want to have this permissive parenting. Because I do think part of that permissive parenting is why we are where we are.
B
Yeah.
D
And we just make excuses and we just. It's, it's okay. We're just going to put you in timeout. I mean, I remember when, when my son was, was about three years old, we had a Costco size box of Cheerios. Oh, and man, he was doing the, the lasso with it open, you know.
A
Oh, no, this one, he's sitting to our left.
D
Sorry, buddy.
B
It's all good.
D
I hope, I hope you're okay with it.
B
Oh, yeah, he's.
D
But you know, the whole thing was he was upset when he realized he was stomping around on it. You know, the. Was he was upset when he realized we were upset. And a lot of times what we do as parents would go, oh well, let's go put them in timeout. Well, we did, but timeouts for emotional regulation. So he went to timeout and then he came back and he realized, oh no, this is still here to be cleaned up. Right. So it's like, you know, how many times do you go to timeout to regulate emotions?
A
A lot.
D
But the, but the end result is you still got to clean up the mess you made. And I think those are the two things to me is that it's, it's an understanding of self and it's living life in an accountable way that somebody's. The world isn't going to take care of this for me. I always say it's making me write me right for the world, not the world right for me. And that's, that's, I think at the core of it. And that's what you were doing with your son.
B
Yeah, well, I wasn't at the time being. I was like, I just. Yeah, I was, you little punk. Like, there was no reason to rip every page out this book.
C
Good book.
B
No, but it's just stuff, right? Like, I mean, that book. Huh.
A
Did you. Were you ready to drop I paid for this book? No, I've been known to drop that
B
line, but I am to the point where I'm trying to teach them value of things like that stuff has real value. And I know it may be perhaps a little early for that, but I'm trying to show I'M trying to show them value in another way. This cost me $18. Like, because they don't understand money yet, Right? But it's really more so like a lot of that stuff I like to tie into it of when they do something, the next time we go somewhere, I know that they have what they just tore up. And I make them walk right back and I'm like, they're like, oh, can we? I'm like, no, no. You see, because we would have to pay for that. And you tore it up. You had one that was perfectly good and you tore it up. So we're not going to pay for another one. But it's kind of a way to intentionally teach them some sort of value to objects and to things. Because, you know, they're. For a while they're kids and whatever they're, they're, they're gonna. Part of life is tearing stuff up. Look, I know, like I said, riding four wheelers and doing dumb stuff. I know about tearing stuff up. I'm. Yes, I'm 40 years old and I still tear stuff up. Spring is rolling on into summer. We're out there in the garden. I've been watering my cucumbers every evening. And you know what makes it so easy? The pocket hose. Whenever I turn the water off, it goes and sucks back up. Whenever I want it on, turn it on, I can water my cucumbers. I'm not dragging 200 foot of hose from my spigot over there to the cucumbers or to the trees. That's why I'm excited to tell you about the world's number one expanding garden hose and their brand new product, the pocket hose ballistic. Pocket hose Ballistic is a lightweight anti burst hose that's easy to manage and easy to store. Just turn the water on, it grows, turn the water off, it shrinks back to pocket size. The hose is reinforced with the same material used in bulletproof vest. And the fibers it's made with are actually five times stronger than steel. So it's definitely made to last. Plus an upgraded UV coating keeps it looking new year after year. And it comes with a pocket pivot giving you 360 degree rotation at the spigot. It's total freedom. You move, it follows. Pocket hose has changed the game for me. I love this thing. Super durable, lightweight and makes yard work a breeze. And now for a limited time, when you purchase a new pocket hose ballistic, you'll get a free 360 degree rotating pocket pivot and a free thumb drive nozzle. Just text dark to 64,000. That's dark to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase. Dark to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply.
C
You know, I'm trying to set this up to lead the people that are listening. Number one, it's okay if you have problems. And it's okay to look for help.
B
Amen. Okay to ask for it. Look for it.
C
Cry it out loud. This is life. You run into things, okay? And how you deal with it is very important because I've learned a lot today from this little episode, okay? Because I've got to change how I look when I look and see myself in the mirror. Quit being so hard on yourself. You're created in the image of God Almighty. Dummy.
A
Dummy. Quit being so hard on yourself, you idiot.
C
No, no. Yeah. Quit being stupid. Because I know people are struggling.
A
Yeah.
C
And you know, I'm looking for fixes. How do we fix this?
B
The crazy thing is that struggle knows no bounds as far as.
C
Well, that's a good point.
B
Rich folks are just as bad as.
C
Well, no folks.
B
I mean, like, it doesn't matter. Your economic class doesn't matter. Your job doesn't.
C
Misery comes to everybody.
B
It does. And how you deal with that is. And I, you know, I think it goes without saying, we all deal with it with a firm foundation in Jesus Christ. That's how we deal with it here in the duck call room. And I know how Dr. Lee deals with it.
C
Well, I talked about in the 60s, okay, we was farmers and we was closer to the earth, okay? Because that's what we worked. When you're working the earth, you ain't got time for trivial garbage, okay? And that's the best way I can put that. Because, hey, you're trying to make a living and you're trying to live the abundant life that Christ came down here to give us. That's the thing that gets me. Jesus didn't come to judge us. He came to save us. And he came to give us not just life, but first class. So, hey, let's do our part to kind of give out a boost.
D
So what if that part is us knowing where we are in the moment so that we have composure and kindness and compassion than to give to other people?
C
Well, like I told when the show hit and people would ask me, what are you going to do now? I said, well, God's done his part. I said, now it's left up to me. I said, because he blessed me so I could bless others. And I said, I think I've accomplished that pretty decently. He did his part and I tried to do mine. Did I do enough or should I have done more?
B
And because of this podcast, he's still doing his part and we still trying to do. Which is why I think conversations with folks like Dr. Oh no are valuable. I mean, granted, you'll tune in the next time and we'll be back to our normal yarns Bill Platter. You know. Yeah, we'll be.
A
Where do you ride a giraffe?
B
The best breakfast buffet in the U.S. like, we'll get back on our.
A
I would love to know.
C
Hey, I'm going to give you some alerts, kids. Oh, don't get off of these stupid phones and have relationships with each other. Okay. Have a relationship with your mom and dad, for crying out at the supper table. You don't need to look at this and you don't need to ask AI ask Si. Right. You ask a human being, for crying out loud. That machine don't love you.
B
And if you really want to send your parents into a tailspin, do like mine didn't say. Are you mad,
D
dad? Where are you in this?
B
Dad, Are you mad? That's like Carter did have a.
C
You fulfill the bill. I learned a lot.
B
Well, I am going.
C
Don't get power hungry.
D
Did you.
B
Did he bring one? Can you hand me. Yeah, I got.
A
I got the information right here.
C
Just want it for the absolute power corrupts absolutely.
D
It does.
A
Website is drleng.com d r l e e L-O-N g dot com. Go check it out. He's got his book there. Wait, it's an acronym for where am I in there.
C
I can guarantee you if you read it. I haven't yet, but I will.
A
You're going to learn something.
C
You're going to learn something.
B
Yeah.
C
Okay. The man's been here for an hour. I've Learned. Oh, he 15, 20 things. And our look. I'm overflowing today, boys.
A
For our Bible verse. I'm going to call it back to the point where he straight stumped you, which was a really fun moment in my life.
B
That was fun. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna politely ask Hunter after this is over. Can you clip that? We don't have to post it, but can I have it?
A
Yeah, because it is something.
B
Because it's hard to stump him.
A
I've never thought about we talk about the creation of God being this awesome thing. Like how could somebody go to the Grand Canyon and not believe in the Lord? How could somebody see all the animals, all of creation? How in the world. A mom has a baby in her belly for nine months, and that's so beautiful, it comes out. But when Dr. Lee turned s kind of Bible verse against him and said God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God, he created them. Male and female. He created them. That's Genesis 1:27. So if you are going through something, you are made in the image of God, which is the most amazing thing in the whole wide world. So when you look in the mirror and you're trying to decide if you like yourself, just remember you were made in the image of God. And you might need some help, and that's not a problem. And go find that help. And Dr. Lee's book might be a great place for you to start that.
C
So that's.
A
That was a good episode.
C
Well, no, I didn't even. That was a profound statement. Okay. Because you need to put that in your bank box and keep it there.
B
Oh, I put it there right when he asked you, I said, wow. Okay, that's. Yeah. Wow.
C
Yeah. No, no, that's a good one.
B
Yeah. As Godwin says, who's in here, too? He said, you know, he spoke all this into existence. Spoke it all. But we were created in an image. I mean, even if you think of it in like that, like he.
C
Well, no, no, because Jason Rose, the
B
rest of it, we're like. We're enthralled by its beauty.
C
Yeah. Asked the teenager he was teaching. He said, close your eyes, clear your mind, and I'm going to ask you a question. Then I want you to answer it. What do you see? What image is God? And that's a good question.
B
It is a good question.
C
And what I came up with right here, just right now, I thought about it a lot because I couldn't come up with a good answer. But when you think of God made us in his image, I'll give you this answer. His image is good. Everything good. Everything. There's nothing negative. It's all positive. So if you're in. You're made in the Creator's image, well, then, hey, shine your light. Help. Anybody you can help. Everything is positive. It's always on the positive.
B
Yeah. Amen.
C
Put that in your homebox. That'll keep you out of. Keep a. A good. That's a good foundation to look at. Yeah.
B
Ma'.
C
Am.
B
Well, Dr. Lee, we appreciate you coming on, man. Thanks so much.
C
That was all.
B
Thank you for making the trip down Interstate 20. Hold. Hold. Fort Worth down for now.
C
You live right. Right next to my daughter. She lives in Hearst.
B
Oh, yeah. See how many cities are in that city.
C
This whole ball is a lot smaller than everybody thinks.
B
Yeah. Except that city is way bigger than you think it is.
C
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fort Worth is spread out.
A
No, it's good.
D
I can't thank you guys enough for having me.
B
Absolutely, man. Thank you so much. And I. I have a feeling we may see you again in the future at some point. I like. I like what we did today. That was fun. That was. That was very fun. And you may be the first person that's ever sat there and stumped, so.
Hosts: Si Robertson, Justin Martin
Guest: Dr. Lee Long, Therapist and Author
Date: May 21, 2026
This episode of Duck Call Room is a lively, heartfelt, and insightful conversation about mental health, self-image, relationships, and faith. The crew is joined by Dr. Lee Long, an experienced therapist and author of "WAIT: Where Am I in This?" The discussion weaves between the cast’s trademark humor, thought-provoking questions on personal growth, the importance of self-acceptance, and candid accounts of real-life struggles.
This episode balances classic Duck Call Room humor with honest vulnerability, offering listeners both laughter and deep wisdom for their own journeys.