Uncle Si Can’t Believe His Old Pal Drank ‘Windex’ Then Survived Brain Surgery!

Summary

Duck Call Room - Episode Summary: "Uncle Si Can’t Believe His Old Pal Drank ‘Windex’ Then Survived Brain Surgery!"

Release Date: December 26, 2024

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1. Introduction and Welcome

The episode kicks off with Phil and Justin Martin warmly welcoming listeners back to the Duck Call Room. They humorously encourage ratings and reviews, setting a light-hearted and engaging tone for the show.

Phil [00:58]: "Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen."

2. Rucker's Brain Surgery Revelation

The central focus of this episode is Rucker's astonishing survival and recovery from brain surgery. The hosts express their surprise and concern, delving into the details of the procedure and Rucker's resilient spirit.

Phil [01:38]: "We have our first ever survivor of brain surgery. Rucker, you've had brain surgery now?"

Rucker [02:07]: "The world has been trying to kill me for a very long time, and there's just... it just hadn't been able to take me out yet."

Rucker shares candid insights about the surgery, detailing how his ear was surgically removed and reconstructed using fat from his stomach. The conversation highlights the complexity of the procedure and Rucker's determination to return to normalcy.

Rucker [02:34]: "He took some fat from my stomach, patched it and reconstructed it, put it back on and waited."

3. Recovery Journey and Setbacks

While Rucker celebrates his successful surgery, he recounts the challenges faced during his recovery. Despite initial plans to take it easy, Rucker's eagerness to return to active pursuits led to unforeseen complications, including a bacterial infection and a broken rib.

Rucker [05:50]: "The surgery went really good. I'm back to feeling normal."

Rucker [06:29]: "Worked out Monday, worked out Tuesday, trained Jiu Jitsu on Wednesday, and then broke a rib at Jiu Jitsu."

The hosts humorously speculate about the surgery's impact on Rucker's ear position, adding levity to the serious discussion.

Phil [02:45]: "Your ear was off?"

Rucker [03:19]: "Whenever I first got back from the hospital, the swelling was still there and stuff. I thought my dude made this ear higher. Like I thought he didn't put it back all the way."

4. Health and Body Fat Discussion

The conversation shifts to broader health topics, particularly the use of body fat in surgical repairs. Rucker reflects on the irony of striving for lower body fat while acknowledging its practical benefits in medical procedures.

Rucker [10:00]: "The pursuit is to have less body fat. I don't know if that's a great idea anymore."

Johnny D [11:21]: "The military proved that extra fat helps during stressful situations because they've got a reserve to pull on."

5. Christmas Season Antics and Reflections

As the holiday season unfolds, the hosts engage in spirited discussions about Christmas traditions, gift-giving, and the pressures that come with the festive period. Rucker shares anecdotes about white elephant parties and his inventive gift ideas, blending humor with personal experiences.

Rucker [27:39]: "I used blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle and sprayed it on my screen. People freaked out!"

Phil [31:08]: "Who wants to risk it? I'd bring the lottery tickets."

The dialogue captures the chaotic yet joyful nature of the holidays, emphasizing camaraderie and shared laughter.

6. Family Life and Personal Stories

Rucker opens up about his family life, including his teenagers and discussions about expanding his family. The conversation touches on the dynamics of parenting, age differences, and the humorous challenges that arise.

Rucker [36:14]: "Having a teenager is pretty good birth control because you're always busy."

Phil [37:01]: "The math don't work unless you got some kind of young Sheldon genius, which is possible."

The hosts reflect on their own family experiences, sharing relatable stories and playful banter about parenting roles and responsibilities.

7. Listener Interactions and Emails

Engaging with their audience, the hosts read and respond to listener emails, featuring humorous questions and personal anecdotes. Topics range from hypothetical conversations with animals to humorous takes on everyday situations, enhancing the show's interactive appeal.

Jake from Pennsylvania [52:01]: "If you could talk to an animal, what animal would it be and what would you ask it?"

Rucker [52:25]: "What's it feel like to be the king of the jungle?"

The segment fosters a sense of community, allowing listeners to feel connected and involved in the show’s narrative.

8. Closing Remarks and Farewell

As the episode winds down, the hosts share heartfelt messages and well wishes for the holiday season. Rucker quotes a Bible verse, tying in themes of gratitude and resilience, while the hosts reaffirm their commitment to producing engaging content.

Martin [56:00]: "Ephesians 3:20 is a verse that comes to mind when I see Rucker. 'Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...'"

Rucker [56:28]: "Merry Christmas, everybody. Hope you enjoy it with your family."

The episode concludes on a warm and reflective note, celebrating life’s challenges and triumphs with humor and fellowship.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Phil [00:58]: "Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen."
• Rucker [02:07]: "The world has been trying to kill me for a very long time, and there's just... it just hadn't been able to take me out yet."
• Rucker [05:50]: "The surgery went really good. I'm back to feeling normal."
• Joey D [11:21]: "The military proved that extra fat helps during stressful situations because they've got a reserve to pull on."
• Rucker [27:39]: "I used blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle and sprayed it on my screen. People freaked out!"
• Martin [56:00]: "Ephesians 3:20 is a verse that comes to mind when I see Rucker..."
• Rucker [56:28]: "Merry Christmas, everybody. Hope you enjoy it with your family."

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Conclusion

This episode of Duck Call Room masterfully blends personal storytelling, humor, and heartfelt discussions. Rucker's remarkable journey through brain surgery and recovery serves as a testament to resilience, while the hosts' playful interactions and holiday reflections provide ample entertainment. Whether you're a longtime listener or new to the show, this episode offers a rich tapestry of anecdotes, laughter, and meaningful insights that encapsulate the spirit of the Duck Call Room community.

Transcript

[Rucker]

The holidays are about spending time with.

[Martin]

Your loved ones and creating magical memories.

[Rucker]

That will last a lifetime.

[Phil]

So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those.

[Rucker]

Who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola. Copyright 2024 the Coca Cola Company.

[Phil]

This.

[Rucker]

Episode is brought to you by Dutch.

[Phil]

Bros. Big smiles, rocking tunes and epic drinks.

[Rucker]

Dutch Bros. Is all about you choose from a variety of custom, customizable, handcrafted beverages like our rebel energy drinks, coffees, teas and more. Download the Dutch Bros app for a free medium drink. Plus find your nearest shop, order ahead and start earning rewards offer valid for new app users only. Free medium drink Reward upon registration. 14 day expiration terms apply. See DutchBros.com.

[Phil]

Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. Before we get to our guest in here today, just want to remind y'all, if you. If you don't mind, please leave us a rating review. Something nice. Five stars if you like us. Four stars if you don't. No kidding.

[Martin]

Go down to three. I'm going to Google you and find your home.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Then I'm going to send you a nasty letter now.

[Phil]

But leave us a rating review wherever you listen to a Spotify, Apple, Amazon, all the places, we're everywhere. And yeah, have I ever told you.

[Martin]

I'm not allowed to leave Amazon reviews? Oh, true story.

[Phil]

There you go. Well, but you are listening to this and so you can leave us a review. Appreciate y'all.

[Martin]

I can't.

[Phil]

All right, we got Rucker back.

[Martin]

Exciting times.

[Phil]

We do. We have our first ever survivor of brain surgery. Rucker, you've had brain surgery now?

[Rucker]

Something of the sort.

[Martin]

Rucker, I got to apologize.

[Rucker]

Okay.

[Martin]

A lot of people have been asking how you were, and every time I was like, she's still alive.

[Phil]

Yeah, that's all.

[Martin]

That's all we knew. And our fans have been, like, clamoring to know how you made it out.

[Rucker]

Well, here's the truth.

[Martin]

And here you are with us today.

[Rucker]

The world has been trying to kill me for a very long time, and there's just. They just. It just hadn't been able to take me out yet. Tucker's back, so. No, no, I mean, the surgery went really good. You know, I just rolled up there to Jackson, met with your. Your man, Dr. House, who. Who once he cuts your head open or your ear off, he's a lot more talkative. I guess it takes some time. I mean, that's kind of his thing.

[Martin]

It's an intimate relationship at that point.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah. So. But yeah, it basically just cut the ear off, went in there, took some fat from my stomach, patched it and reconstructed it, put it back on and wait, time out.

[Phil]

Your ear was off?

[Rucker]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Phil]

Can I show it to you?

[Rucker]

I think like so okay, so.

[Martin]

Oh yeah, you can tell like this.

[Rucker]

He did it behind here. He did a phenomenal job. I mean, I'm hands down, I've never had it done before, but what other people are telling me, did a great job.

[Martin]

Same guys cut both Carter's ears off.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

And so like, oh, not all, like, well laid them forward.

[Martin]

That's off to me.

[Rucker]

Yeah, I mean, but I mean, not.

[Phil]

Like ear on the table.

[Martin]

No. Yeah, but you, you, you know, it's a fold over situation.

[Rucker]

100. And here's the thing. Whenever I first got back from the hospital, the swelling was still there and stuff. For several weeks. I thought my dude made this ear higher. Like I thought he didn't put it back all the way. And so I'm sitting there talking to my wife. I'm like, this ears is higher than other than the other one.

[Martin]

Yeah, you were going to have to get weird haircuts for the rest, say.

[Rucker]

And I was just like, man, like at least I mean, get a ruler out. Do so level. You know what I mean?

[Phil]

Why do I wish he would have.

[Johnny D]

Wait a minute. Okay. The guy actually cut the ear, laid it over to the side where he could go in your head.

[Rucker]

He got up in there and what you.

[Johnny D]

What was somebody. He took something from your stomach and.

[Rucker]

Yeah, fat from my stomach, which there's an excess of that. I mean, he's got plenty. He's got plenty to choose.

[Martin]

A weight loss.

[Johnny D]

Wait a minute. He fixed this with fat from your stomach?

[Rucker]

That's right. That's right. He did some other stuff. Apparently. He said it was way worse when they got in there. He actually had to like take some brain matter out that was hanging down and. Hey, throw. What? Throw up the little, you know, the graphic packaging or warning or whatever.

[Martin]

Oh, graphic packaging is.

[Phil]

That's just that place that stinks right down there. Graphic pack.

[Rucker]

Warning. Parental advisor.

[Phil]

Nah, we're talking about surgery.

[Johnny D]

Amazing ain't the word.

[Phil]

Unreal.

[Johnny D]

Yeah, yeah, it's, you know, medical. The medical field has, you know, so.

[Phil]

Brain gone fat in and replace it with fat.

[Rucker]

Well, so there's an area between your ear canal and your brain. It's the thin layer of bone tissue. That's. What was that? What image? Yeah, yeah. And he said, he said well, you know, there's a lot of ways this can happen. Usually it's like some head trauma. He's like, you ever been in a car wreck or, you know, been hitting the head real hard? I said, dude, just Google me. I mean, name all of the above.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah. I've been in a newspaper for both of them.

[Rucker]

He said. He said, well, you would have had to get. I mean, he said it. I mean, that's a pretty protected area. I mean, it had to be Google. I said, man, I flipped a car, flipped it back over and kept driving before. I mean, I don't. I mean, in the same vehicle, I got shot at. Anyways, the point is, trauma follows you.

[Martin]

Trauma follows, let's say, past tense.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah. No, no. Because today we're set free, baby.

[Martin]

Wow.

[Rucker]

Yeah. So. So the surgery went well. To everybody out there, all the listeners, man. Went well. You know, they said it takes several months for everything to feel normal. But I'm back. I'm back to feeling normal. But it's almost like when it. When it rains, it pours. So, you know, I was out. I was unable to work out or train or anything for about a month after the surgery. Well, then I came back from the surgery. I worked out Monday, worked out Tuesday, trained my Jiu Jitsu on Wednesday, and then got a bacterial infection. Had, like, 105 temperature right?

[Phil]

In your ear?

[Rucker]

Well, I don't know if it was associated to the ear, but it was real. It was there. And then I was out a week for that. Came back. Right. Worked out Monday, worked out Tuesday, trained Jiu Jitsu Wednesday, and then broke a rib at Jiu Jitsu. And so I've been out four weeks, but I'm back now, baby.

[Martin]

Hey, I. Can I interest you in jump ropes? I ain't broke a rib yet.

[Johnny D]

I was fixing. I'm sorry. I'm laughing.

[Rucker]

No, no, no.

[Phil]

That's funny.

[Johnny D]

You got.

[Rucker]

No, no. You.

[Johnny D]

You got such a remarkable story. Okay, well.

[Phil]

And things happen in threes. So you're good. Yeah. Now you solid for a while, man.

[Rucker]

No, my wife said that maybe. Maybe God's trying to say that, like, your avenues for bettering your health are actually counterproductive. And to that, I would say nay. Okay.

[Martin]

I'm. I'm on Team Wife on this one.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Well, if you're breaking ribs.

[Johnny D]

Oh. You're not leaking any kind of fluid in.

[Martin]

Leaking fluid.

[Rucker]

Not leaking fluids.

[Johnny D]

Okay.

[Rucker]

Not. At least not that I know of.

[Johnny D]

Okay. So that's a good deal. Okay. That's pretty wild.

[Phil]

You'd know of the other ones.

[Johnny D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Phil]

It's been my experience.

[Johnny D]

Oh, that's wild.

[Phil]

Yeah. When you got a leak as a human, that's a problem.

[Johnny D]

Well, welcome back.

[Rucker]

Thank you. It feels good to be back. You know, I could put headphones on again. That's great.

[Martin]

Yeah. How is your hearing record?

[Rucker]

Oh, it's phenomenal.

[Martin]

It's good.

[Rucker]

Well, my hearing. My hearing never was really off is the crazy thing. I mean, a little muffled, but.

[Martin]

But you're here in 2020. You're solid.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Martin]

It's good news.

[Johnny D]

That's pretty.

[Rucker]

Absolutely Lord, man now. But, you know, to your point, I'll say this psy actually gave me a lot of confidence in it because I ain't never been a surgery guy. Like, I've never went in, had surgery. It was a little nerve wracking, mainly because I got control issues. You talking about putting me to sleep?

[Johnny D]

Oh, yeah.

[Martin]

But you don't want to be awake.

[Rucker]

No.

[Phil]

Now, if I lay your ear beside your eye, that's a problem. You don't want it. You don't want to see that.

[Rucker]

Well, when Sigh, you know, talks about his heart surgery and stuff and how they did that, I was like, well, you know, this ain't. This ain't that. I mean, you could peel a year off and go, I kind of like.

[Phil]

A vasectomy, you know, I ain't too bad.

[Martin]

That's different. They don't put you to sleep for that.

[Johnny D]

Yeah, I. I'm telling you, that's why.

[Phil]

I'm saying they kind of the same. At least he was asleep.

[Johnny D]

Yeah. The medical people never had a.

[Phil]

You may all look into that one.

[Johnny D]

Off the charts for what they think and do.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Johnny D]

When you think about the doctor reaching in and picking someone's heart up and lifted it up and then said, okay, scaffold, cut the hole inside where you got to put the vein that he took out of my leg.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Johnny D]

And look in between heartbeats.

[Rucker]

That's impressive.

[Johnny D]

That's amazing. Yeah.

[Phil]

That's unreal. No, no, it's also unreal that we're carrying around a bunch of stuff to patch holes with.

[Johnny D]

Well, no, no. I don't know.

[Martin]

I got a buddy, I like him.

[Johnny D]

He goes to his stomach, get some fat.

[Phil]

That's what I'm saying.

[Johnny D]

Help fix what's wrong with up in his head.

[Rucker]

It's kind of like what God does. He takes the bad and turns it.

[Johnny D]

To turn it into the positive. Yeah.

[Martin]

Look at us go.

[Rucker]

Yeah, man, we just. We could build a whole sermon series we really could.

[Johnny D]

Oh, that's pretty. That's. Wow.

[Phil]

I'm still trying to get over or wrap my head around the fact that stomach fat is, like, spackling.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil]

You know what I mean?

[Martin]

Skinny people.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Man. Who remodeled his house a couple of years ago and had to do some Sheetrock work. That's just weird. You take some fat and go up there, you know, just a little.

[Johnny D]

How many. A little bit of butter there.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

Like, I don't know if he added anything to it to make it harden up or what, But, I mean, pork fat. Yeah.

[Martin]

Just like venison. A little pork goes a long way.

[Johnny D]

What amazes me about this, okay, is because we don't even know, in my humble opinion, a fraction of what's going on, you know? And yet you talking amazing.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Johnny D]

This body God made us out of. Yeah. See, but if stuff that can happen to it and then it keeps functioning.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil]

Just don't lose too much weight in case you start leaking again.

[Rucker]

Well, that's what I'm saying.

[Phil]

That way you have something to patch it with.

[Rucker]

You know, the pursuit is to have less body fat. I don't know if that's a great idea anymore.

[Phil]

Well, less.

[Johnny D]

Yeah.

[Phil]

None. Probably not.

[Johnny D]

I will say this. The military proved this, okay? You need extra fat because the guys that are a little overweight, they do way better under stressful situations because they've got a reserve to kind of pull on. Is that serious?

[Rucker]

I think. Hey, you know, I think I'd be.

[Phil]

The outlier on that data.

[Rucker]

I don't know, man.

[Johnny D]

Well, no, no, no. The military's proved that through all these tests. Yo, with doing all this central stuff.

[Martin]

Philip, thank goodness for one thing this holiday season.

[Rucker]

And I know what that is. AGU1.

[Martin]

It's AGU1. You know, it is hard to stay on a diet or track anything that you're doing. There's chips and cookies and Irish potato chips just show up in your life this time of year. Which is why I started drinking AG1 every day, so I can tell a difference in my health.

[Rucker]

Yeah, you're doing good.

[Phil]

You're looking good.

[Rucker]

I had it this morning. I drank my AG1, I worked out.

[Phil]

And I've been doing it every day.

[Martin]

Look, AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs, like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support. And since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition, continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline help. Look, not Only can you replace that multivitamin. But every scoop includes vitamin C and zinc to help support immune health and probiotics and digestive enzymes for gut support. We've been telling everybody about it, Phil.

[Phil]

Yep.

[Martin]

We got our friends drinking it. My cousin had me ship him some family. My wife drinking it every morning. And like I said, this holiday season, you better get your nutritional bases covered early in the morning, because by the evening, who knows what you've had. But. But that's how we stay on track during the holidays. And look, if you're traveling, get you some travel packs. Super simple. You've seen them on here. So this new year, try AG1 for yourself. It's the perfect time to start a new healthy habit. And that's why we've been partnering with AG1 for so long. And AG1 is offering a new subscribers a free $76 gift. When you sign up, you'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2, and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out drink ag1.com to get this offer. That's drink ag1.com. Duck to start your new year on a healthier note.

[Rucker]

Do it.

[Johnny D]

It only takes one scoop.

[Rucker]

Yeah, so it's like Johnny D, for instance, right? I mean, dude's just over here jump roping every day, trying to get skin. Now he looks too skinny in my opinion, right?

[Johnny D]

Yeah, they. They don't look right.

[Rucker]

Yeah, Johnny D does not look right as a skinny person.

[Phil]

Somebody get that boy Christmas tree cake. Johnny D. They got. They're giving.

[Martin]

I don't look right. Now my man's got 400,000 ear canals around his waist, and he's telling me I don't look right.

[Johnny D]

But, hey, it's true. Because, look, that's why you got to buy new clothes.

[Martin]

I have had to buy your clothes.

[Johnny D]

Don't f. You don't look right.

[Martin]

Gaining muscle now, though.

[Johnny D]

Well, I mean, yeah, but you don't look right.

[Rucker]

You need to. That's. That's what your next goal should be. Gain some muscle.

[Phil]

The problem. You know the real problem?

[Rucker]

You're looking pencilly.

[Phil]

You know what they're saying, pencil. You got too big of a head.

[Martin]

I do have too big of a head.

[Phil]

Hey, Got too small of a body with too big of a head.

[Martin]

Somebody sent us free pants. Me and you had the same size.

[Phil]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Martin]

And I took size.

[Johnny D]

That's why you don't look right.

[Rucker]

But it's not normal. He's an 80 year old man, you're not supposed to have the same.

[Phil]

And you can't wear his hat.

[Martin]

That is also true.

[Phil]

Us big headed boys got to stay proportional.

[Martin]

I've gained like eight pounds since Thanksgiving.

[Phil]

Because you look, you kind of got like a Jackson look about you. Now then my kid, his head just way too big for a toddler body.

[Martin]

That's why I don't run, because I'd fall over.

[Johnny D]

That's why, that's why I feel named him Horsehead.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

But you know what I'm talking about, though. You see people that, you know, which is good for them, I'm sure. I mean, they're healthier, but like, they, they're, they're a thicker individual. And then they lose all this weight and you're like. And I don't know, it just didn't.

[Martin]

Yeah, we, we all have a mutual friend who I shared an office with at one point who's been on this podcast and Martin is now trying not to cry. He lost more weight than any of us for a minute and it was. It. There was no muscle gained at all. And, and yeah, there's something. You look, you get worried for them.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rucker]

You look like a hospital patient.

[Martin]

Okay, I wasn't gonna say that.

[Johnny D]

Well, no, I'll give you an example.

[Martin]

I was gonna say a bobblehead.

[Johnny D]

Although I'll give you example. John Gower. Oh, he's lost like £100.

[Martin]

He looks great.

[Johnny D]

Diabetes and stuff. He used to have to roll in the boat when he'd get out and do the decoys.

[Phil]

That's true.

[Johnny D]

He'd have to roll in the boat now. Hey, that dude just jumps in the boat like a cat. Squirrel.

[Rucker]

Yeah, like a cat.

[Martin]

Like a young.

[Rucker]

I mean, it's. Am losing some pounds. I lost 90 pounds. But this is the, this is when you know you're overweight when you lose £90 and literally nobody notices. They're like, they're like, dude, they're like, you lost 90 pounds. You know what? Now that you say it, it was, it was 50.

[Martin]

That was in that haircut of yours that you used to have. Me and Rucker went through a spell, and Martin and I'm glad we all went through it together. It was called 2016.

[Phil]

Only one of us was getting paid for that haircut.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Easy, easy.

[Rucker]

I was just keeping up the look. I was trying to help you guys.

[Phil]

I always begged ideas like, you got too much going on, man. That's a lot. Like, take a pair of scissors to some of that, please.

[Martin]

Like, look at us. Now we're all young.

[Phil]

Your beard. Your beard had some girth, buddy.

[Martin]

It still does.

[Phil]

Yeah, but I mean, back then, bro.

[Martin]

Back then, it had some length, too.

[Phil]

Back then that your headphones would be squarely inside of your beard right now. I had it like, it was there.

[Rucker]

It was very unkempt is I think, the.

[Phil]

Yeah. And you still had three kids. So good on Allison, man. She powered through. Good for her, man. What a life.

[Martin]

Poor lady.

[Phil]

Yeah. I can't imagine why, but good for her, man.

[Martin]

Well, now I look like a skinny bobblehead patient of the hospital. Hospital patient. That's what I was going for. I stumbled upon that.

[Rucker]

Look, I just think you need to put on some muscle.

[Martin]

Do you want to arm wrestle?

[Phil]

Oh, we could. Oh, wow.

[Johnny D]

Here we go.

[Martin]

Which is your good ear. Want to hurt?

[Phil]

Do it. Oh, Armrest.

[Rucker]

They're both good now, cameras.

[Martin]

Smallest kid in the room's like, y'all fight.

[Rucker]

Get after it. Yeah, yeah. Hunter's just back there just being creepy.

[Phil]

Ah, this is fantastic.

[Rucker]

No, but look, I missed you guys. I missed being here. I was thinking that the other day, I was like, man, it's been a while since I was at.

[Martin]

Well, we had to let you heal. You couldn't put headphones on.

[Rucker]

Yeah, that is true.

[Phil]

Yeah, we had to. We had to let you get back to 100%.

[Rucker]

Well, Beth reached out to me, like, a week after the surgery, and she's like, hey, you want to come? I was like, hey, you don't say.

[Martin]

No to these people. They'll never call you again.

[Phil]

I really. I kind of wish I'd have seen you. Did you take, like, pictures of the healing process? I kind of want to know. I want to know. I want to know what you look like when you thought your ear was higher than us.

[Rucker]

Johnny D. I'm gonna send you some of these so that you can put them on.

[Phil]

I can see Rucker taking a ruler.

[Rucker]

There's some.

[Martin]

Hold on.

[Phil]

Like, hold on now.

[Johnny D]

Let me get this done.

[Martin]

Rucker, are we level? Like, Rucker would have had one of them laser rulers.

[Johnny D]

Oh, boy.

[Martin]

Laser levels.

[Phil]

He's gonna call Mac and say, Mac, now, I need you to. You're a master carpenter. I need you to make sure he put this ear back where it's supposed.

[Johnny D]

To tweak just a little bit. It's a little higher.

[Rucker]

Johnny D. I'm going back, sending you a few of these just so that you can.

[Martin]

Yeah, there we go. I was about to say Kaylee. His wife posted some on Facebook. I was going through Those.

[Phil]

But it's still hard.

[Johnny D]

He's got his cap on.

[Rucker]

I don't.

[Phil]

It's hard for me to match stomach fat.

[Rucker]

Is airdropping.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

Probably the easiest way. Oh, no, that computer right there. I mean, texted them.

[Martin]

They'd already be there.

[Phil]

Sometimes the good people at it's in your downloads folder.

[Martin]

I'm going to. I'm getting it's download now. If you had a text on, they'd already be there. Apple, Sometimes you got ideas that are just too much.

[Phil]

Like this latest update trash.

[Rucker]

Yeah, well, airdrop. Don't get me started on updates. Here's my thing.

[Martin]

Oh, well, we just did.

[Rucker]

Well, look, every time I update my phone, it's like you're trying to persuade me to get a new one because you drain my battery down. I mean, isn't that proven at this point that there. There's some manipulation there?

[Phil]

Maybe, but the problem now is, like, I can't go find a photo from yesterday. They put them in something.

[Martin]

Okay, there's Rucker with the. The classic ear bandage.

[Rucker]

Yeah. Ma'am.

[Phil]

Rucker on that selfie.

[Martin]

Life.

[Rucker]

Well, I was. You know, the. The pain medication was still highly active at that.

[Phil]

Did it hurt?

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I was.

[Martin]

Here's Rucker giving the deuces to the.

[Rucker]

That's me walking out with a shirt that says alive.

[Martin]

We're glad he was alive. But he sent me three photos, and I've only shown you the two.

[Phil]

I don't know. What's the next one?

[Martin]

There is a grand finale of the photos. It was. It was second in the order.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Oh, please.

[Rucker]

This is my favorite one.

[Phil]

Big dad. Oh, that's your plug.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Yeah, that's where they got the plug.

[Rucker]

Where they got it. You know what I mean? Okay.

[Martin]

Are you asleep standing up in this photo?

[Rucker]

Again, Pain meds were still highly active. As you see, I'm attached to the cords.

[Phil]

Yeah, he's got some drips going on.

[Rucker]

You know what I mean? I feel.

[Phil]

Did that spot on your stomach hurt, too?

[Rucker]

Not really.

[Phil]

That was all right.

[Rucker]

No, there's the stomach. Didn't really hurt that much at all.

[Phil]

Cool scar.

[Rucker]

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

I mean, you know, if I can. If I can put eyes on what's hurting me, it seems like it makes it feel better. I don't know if y'all are like.

[Johnny D]

Yeah.

[Phil]

When you can't find it, that's when.

[Rucker]

You can't see, like, behind my ear and in my head, it's weird still to this day, like, I can press, like, it's still. He said it takes several months, but, like, I can press on the back of my head and feel it in my ear. It's just weird, man.

[Phil]

That's incredible. You had your ear.

[Martin]

Brian Rucker, Modern Marvel.

[Phil]

Yeah, I love it, but. Okay, so. Well, good. You've recovered from brain surgery. Life is good.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Christmas Time is Here. Johnny D's favorite song. He played it on his Instagram.

[Martin]

Christmas time is. You know who I got that from?

[Phil]

Willie Robertson.

[Martin]

He won't stop. And when you hang out with him for 10 years, you'd go through a few Christmases together, and he screamed it every day.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Martin]

And it got stuck in my head.

[Phil]

I'm sure it's only worse now with the grandkids, too.

[Rucker]

Well, I just. Man, the people that listen to Christmas music during the month of December.

[Martin]

Oh, no. Where are you going with this?

[Rucker]

I just. It's. It's like. All right, so you know the local radio station, right? They just start playing Christmas music in December. Well, you got those people that just don't change the station. They're just. Every time they get in the car, every time they drive, wherever they go, just Christmas music.

[Martin]

It's Christmas time.

[Rucker]

I understand.

[Martin]

In fact, Christmas time is here.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I. I get that.

[Martin]

There's a whole song about that.

[Rucker]

I get it. It's just like, come on.

[Johnny D]

Yeah, change the channel, the music, the.

[Rucker]

Tree, the lights, the. The whole deal. I just. I mean, Scrooge. I'm not a scrooge.

[Martin]

You just said you were. Screw. You just described a scrooge and then said, I'm not a scrooge.

[Rucker]

I'm not. I like Christmas.

[Martin]

Grinch does that.

[Rucker]

That's probably a little bit more accurate. Yeah.

[Phil]

Do you say Merry Christmas or Feliz Navidad?

[Rucker]

It depends on who I'm talking to.

[Johnny D]

If he's back in Houston, he says.

[Martin]

New Year, new me, we're all going to say it.

[Phil]

There are new things come along. It's a perfect time to get organized, set goals, prioritize what matters the most. And for us, one top priority is financial wellness especially. I got two youngins coming up. Man, they 2 years old, got a.

[Martin]

Lot of life having to buy them a car.

[Phil]

Oh, my God, not one.

[Martin]

It's tough.

[Phil]

They're proving right now that sharing's a tough part.

[Martin]

Make good decisions now, Martin.

[Phil]

Yeah, well, it is more important than ever. But thanks to Rocket money, goals feel achievable. Right. They show all your subscriptions in one place, help you cancel the ones you don't want. And I mean, they'll even help negotiate to lower your bills.

[Martin]

The app is fantastic.

[Phil]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. You can see all your subscriptions in one place. And if you see something you don't want, Rocket Money can help cancel it. It's that simple. Rocket Money's dashboard gives a clear view of your expenses across all the accounts. Look, you can create a personalized budget to help keep your spending on track, get alerts of bills, increase in price, or holiday season if there's unusual spending activity. It happens.

[Martin]

Allison.

[Phil]

Yeah, Brittany. Justin. The new goals feature automatically saves money for you, which is tight. So Rocket Money will even try to negotiate to lower your bills for you. They automatically scanned your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service so that you don't have to praise God for that. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money, go to RocketMoney.com duck today. That's RocketMoney.com one more time. RocketMoney.com.

[Rucker]

Yeah, I, I just, you know.

[Martin]

I didn't know you were a grinch rocker.

[Rucker]

No, I'm not. I love Christmas. I love.

[Martin]

You just complained about lights, trees, and music and then said you love Christmas.

[Rucker]

There's just so much expectations around Christmas time and, and it's like, you gotta talk about it. Well, you got to go to this party. You go to that party here. I can't look.

[Phil]

No, you know the problem? Here's the problem. I tell you, I'm stop you right here. Rucker used to show up at every party because it was free food.

[Rucker]

Bingo.

[Phil]

Attaboy. Makes a little bit of money, all of a sudden, I don't want to go. I buy my own food now.

[Rucker]

Well, well, now. Now I have a whole family. It's like, oh, we got to go here. We got to do that. We got it.

[Martin]

Oh, you used to be single on the turkey.

[Rucker]

I used a man. I go anywhere I wanted.

[Martin]

Remember the turkey?

[Rucker]

You know what I mean? I go anywhere.

[Martin]

I want to be at Randy and Joe nails and slip on over to Big Dave and Jan's like, hey, what's Alan Lisa up to?

[Rucker]

Oh, dude, I Mean, it was magical. I was proud to know, and it was a beautiful time.

[Phil]

Hey. But the whole time he was making ear patches. We just never knew it.

[Martin]

And now he's married, and he doesn't get to do what he wants to do.

[Phil]

Yeah, he's part of it.

[Rucker]

I mean, because. Because here's. And I mean, Christmas is just expensive, guys. Okay. I didn't realize how expensive it was. You know, I mean, for the majority of my Christmas experience has been okay, I go do whatever, eat wherever, you know, to your point. And then I just buy gifts for this one child, this one person. Yeah, that's out. Yeah, that is out.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

Now it's a. Oh, we got a. We got a white elephant party. You buy the gift coming. Like, come on.

[Martin]

Okay, so I'm a Christmas person.

[Rucker]

We know. It's. Hence the shoes. Can we get a tight on the shoes?

[Martin]

I love. I've been wearing these shoes all week. I love Christmas. They're red, white with green shoelaces. But there is nothing worse than a $20. Everybody brings something, and we're gonna steal the gift. That. That's not fun. Yeah, well, nobody's enjoying that.

[Phil]

We ought to do it in here.

[Martin]

We're all. We're just gonna bring a yeti cup, and we're gonna go home with it, right?

[Phil]

I could find something else. 20 bucks.

[Martin]

20 bucks?

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Here's the deal. But then you show up and it's like, hey, size with this. Let me just. If it's $20, and sigh, wanted it. He bought it 10 years ago.

[Phil]

That's true.

[Johnny D]

I would bring a $20 and just.

[Phil]

Say, hey, there's your $20 bill. I found something worth $20, and I'm so tight, I'd bring something worth 18 just to feel like I won.

[Rucker]

Well, look, I'll tell you what I did at one of these little parties. So I. One. I. I spoke at the church one time, and I used the Windex bottle in an illustration. Basically, the.

[Martin]

The Go ahead and break that down.

[Rucker]

Well, so what I did is I put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle.

[Martin]

I remember this.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

Yeah. And so I was. I was up there and I was talking about, like, the. Make the outside match the inside. And what you put off might not be, you know, what's actually on the inside of you. Anyways, so I start, I, I, I set it all up. I had my, My buddy bring me. I said, man, I got stuff all on my screen. It's tough for me. Can you give me some Windex or something? Well, he brings up the Windex bottle, and I act like I spray it on my screen and I wipe it off. And then I was like, man, Windex, it's cool. It's such a beautiful color. You ever just wonder what it tastes like? And I sprayed it in my mouth, right? And so then everybody. Everybody was like, oh, my God. You know, I mean, and then I was like.

[Phil]

I felt like that's the part of this that should have come with a disclaimer.

[Martin]

Well, don't do that.

[Phil]

Not the ear patch.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah, don't do that. It was not Windex. It was blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

Kids out there.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

And so anyways, I drank. And then I was like, what. What are y'all freaking out about? And I opened it up and I drank some, right? And then I was like, oh, you thought that this was Windex because of how it was presented in the packaging. You don't know that it's Gatorade in here, right? And then it was kind of like some of you are walking around trying to clean things up when you live with the thing inside of you that can quench thirst, right? Anyways, don't get me fired up, but what I'm so. So for this white elephant thing one day, what I did is instead of going and buying a gift, I took that Windex bottle because it was just sitting in my fridge in my office, and then I made a certificate of authenticity, and I put it in a. A bag with the certificate of authenticity and gave that as the gift at the white elephant thing. And so somebody.

[Martin]

And that's why white elephants suck, because somebody got that and somebody got a yeti cup, and it's not fair, and it's stupid.

[Phil]

That's why elephants are great.

[Rucker]

I felt like I won, like, to your point, I felt like I won that one. You know what I mean?

[Phil]

Yeah, you did. You. Yeah.

[Martin]

You know what I like, who bought.

[Phil]

The Windex bottle originally?

[Rucker]

You know, I couldn't even tell you.

[Phil]

Yeah. Took that out of the cleaning supplies. Yeah, you did.

[Rucker]

I think I actually took a $20. I might have took it from the church janitor.

[Phil]

That's what I'm talking about. So you took a 20 gift and you didn't pay nothing for it? Well, you may have been out to Gatorade, I guess.

[Rucker]

You know, we did buy the Gatorade.

[Phil]

There you go.

[Martin]

The only thing better than that at those parties is going, like, quadruple over the budget and making people fight. Yeah, that's a good.

[Phil]

That's generally my move. Yeah, I like to, I just like to watch people scrap.

[Rucker]

Well, and look, you know, you get, you get friends that are, you know, well off or wealthy, you know, and, and they, their, their little hand me down gifts are different. Right? That's like, you know, then a Windex bottle. Oh, no, no. Like they, they got like gold chains. Like just stuff you hanging out with.

[Martin]

That gives out gold chains at Christmas.

[Rucker]

I don't want to say their name on here, but I mean there's, I mean, but it's a women, right? They got these extra little chains. You look it up, it's like a hundred and fifty dollar little chain just handing out, you know what I'm saying?

[Phil]

Starting to sound like a sticky bandit. That's what's really happening here. Like, this is, this is getting wild, man.

[Martin]

Like I ain't never seen any gold.

[Phil]

My number one, my favorite white elephant gift though when you got to do that stuff is the amount of money and scratch offs y just cuz I like to let the people wonder. Oh yeah, it could be 20. I spent 20 bucks. You could win a thousand. Who won't see? Who wants.

[Martin]

I steal.

[Phil]

Who wants to risk it, boys?

[Martin]

I steal those every time. I'm like, give me. I want the lottery tickets. Because the opportunity I show up, I.

[Phil]

Show up with a penny in my pocket just in case I end up with them. Like.

[Rucker]

But now people will get the, the prank scratch off tickets. They may say, well, they're, they're, they look legit. But you scratch them off and it'll say you won like $5,000. But it's a, it's not real. It's a joke.

[Phil]

That's hateful.

[Martin]

It's very rude.

[Phil]

Yeah, that's hateful. That ain't, that ain't right.

[Rucker]

Yeah, I'm not against the holidays. It's just now there's so much expectations. I'm tired. My budget's out there. The window.

[Phil]

Yeah. You cheat.

[Rucker]

You know what I mean? Like, I mean, my budget.

[Martin]

Gone. Gone.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Allison finished up yesterday.

[Phil]

At least your kid's grown right now.

[Rucker]

Yeah, well, it's a whole. It is, dude. I will say it's a lot easier now that he's a teenager. I mean he, he wants two things. Money. Money and a car. You know what I mean? So. But next year he'll get a v. He gonna get a truck. But I, I'm teaching the value of humility in this truck. Right? I already got it planned out.

[Martin]

What was the car you first showed up in?

[Rucker]

It Was black Jeep, black Jeep Patriot. It literally had a tire mark on the side for me getting in a high speed chase and somebody trying to run me off the road.

[Martin]

We need to get your son a black Jeep Patriot.

[Rucker]

Oh, that would be awesome. It'd be cool if we could still find that same jeep in the tire.

[Martin]

Oh, not that one.

[Rucker]

No, that.

[Phil]

You want to get him something real nice. Somebody sent me a picture the other day of our old RV from up here. It's still wrapped. It's in Deridder, Louisiana.

[Rucker]

What, is somebody dealing with that thing?

[Phil]

I don't. I didn't even remember us selling it, to be fair. Like, I don't even remember us.

[Martin]

We might not.

[Rucker]

It was like one day it was just gone.

[Phil]

But a guy sent me a picture. He said, I think of y'all every time I drive past this thing. And it's. I said, okay, where is that?

[Rucker]

Is it just, like, sitting like it's.

[Phil]

On the side of the highway in Deridder, Louisiana. So which is. Where's the Ritter about? Around Alexandria. Just north Alexandria or something like that?

[Johnny D]

Yeah, that's out by Fort Polk. Yeah, I used to live there.

[Martin]

You used to live in Deridder?

[Phil]

Yeah. There you go.

[Martin]

Every episode we learned something new. What did. What was your job in Deridder?

[Johnny D]

I was in the army.

[Phil]

He's in the Army? Yeah, he's stationed down there. Then.

[Johnny D]

I went somewhere. Okay. And they had a McDonald's. Had. Had. Hey, stop. Get your tea here on the side.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Johnny D]

So I went there and I worked the window.

[Martin]

You and Donald Trump.

[Phil]

You and Trump, baby. Yeah.

[Johnny D]

I wouldn't do that. You could pay me enough to do that.

[Phil]

Worked a window in a drive through.

[Johnny D]

Yeah, I was. You couldn't pay me enough.

[Martin]

I said, oh, people. People get ornery.

[Johnny D]

Oh, no. Yeah, it was. It was hilarious, though.

[Phil]

Oh, man.

[Johnny D]

Yo, they'd pull up, they. They'd hear me talking when you know, they. It's in on their mind when they're driving up to pick up their food. I know that. I know that voice. Yeah.

[Phil]

Where'd I know that from?

[Johnny D]

Yeah, when they drive up to the window and I said, that'll be 1350. It's a shell shock.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil]

Trucker. We a year married now.

[Rucker]

Yep, over a year.

[Phil]

Over a year.

[Rucker]

Over a year.

[Phil]

How is it?

[Rucker]

Why is so hard? Can we just have that conversation?

[Martin]

Because used to on Christmas, you did the turkey trot wherever. We've already discussed this, and now you're complaining about Christmas as a whole.

[Rucker]

Well, I talk about this a Lot. It's like, man, you know, when God gives you all the things you prayed for, for, now you have to live with it, now you have to steward it.

[Johnny D]

No, no, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you why.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Johnny D]

Okay. Marriage is like a garden. If you've ever raised any garden of any size.

[Phil]

I had his was illegitimate there. Yeah.

[Johnny D]

There's a lot of work going on.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, you got trimmed above.

[Johnny D]

Okay. Because, hey, look, you both got excess baggage.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Johnny D]

That you bring to this. This union.

[Rucker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Johnny D]

And you've got to learn to deal with that.

[Phil]

And you got some stuff that smells like poop. That ain't fertilizer.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil]

It's actually just poop.

[Johnny D]

You hadn't been married but a year. You know, if. If when the children come along, then that's another thing that how you've got to deal with. Okay. And that's a whole new. That makes it a whole new ball game.

[Phil]

That's the question you gotta know. Yeah.

[Rucker]

Rucker.

[Martin]

When are new Ruckers?

[Phil]

Is that our new Ruckers in the.

[Martin]

We want to talk about that with all of America.

[Phil]

I'm just wondering, I don't need to know your schedule. Is it a discussion?

[Martin]

Oh, people used to ask Martin all the time, buddy.

[Rucker]

Yeah, no, I mean, people ask us all the time. I'll say this. Having a teenager is pretty good birth control, you know, because you, you know.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

It's like, hey, do we have a kid? Do we not have a kid? Well, then you look down the hall and there's this 15 year old dude just like.

[Johnny D]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

I mean, and you're like, you know what?

[Phil]

Maybe stinks.

[Rucker]

Maybe. Maybe we can wait. You know, maybe we can wait because.

[Martin]

You robbed the cradle a little bit.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah. No, she's 10 years. She's 10 years younger than me. So there's. It's an interesting dynamic at the Rucker household. You got 15, 25, 35. Right.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

There's where a lot of the.

[Johnny D]

Okay.

[Rucker]

That's where a lot of. You know what I mean?

[Phil]

Well, you hit that. You hit that half your age plus seven right on the nose, buddy. Like if you 35. Because in that 17 and a half, plus seven, 24 and a half and she 25. Oh, you right on the nose.

[Martin]

Some people break that rule.

[Rucker]

Good.

[Phil]

Yeah. First on. Yeah, yeah.

[Rucker]

So.

[Phil]

Oh, she. Yeah, she's still got plenty of time on her.

[Johnny D]

That's a good analogy, though.

[Rucker]

But here's the other thing. I don't want to be like, I don't want to be like 55 with a kid in high school, either. I mean, I really.

[Phil]

What are you trying to say, big dog?

[Martin]

Whoa. Hey, everybody.

[Rucker]

Yeah, but it's a little bit.

[Phil]

I'm gonna be that guy, but it's.

[Rucker]

A little bit different. Martin, in all fairness, if I make it to 55, that's gonna be a miracle. Okay. You're almost guaranteed 55.

[Phil]

No.

[Martin]

Oh, that's.

[Phil]

I don't know. You don't live my house. Wow.

[Martin]

Hold on.

[Phil]

So kids, 35, Rucker with a newborn, that's that. That something I need to experience.

[Martin]

I'd like to know about it.

[Phil]

And then here's what I'll tell you.

[Martin]

I would like to have you on the show when it's like I'm. The baby's a month old, so I can just laugh at you.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah. Well, look, I've done this before.

[Phil]

Oh, I'm aware. It's just been a while.

[Rucker]

It has been a while.

[Phil]

And if you think the schedule right now is a toughie. Oh, yeah, go here, go there.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's tough.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

You know, but here's the beautiful thing. Number one, I got a built in babysitter, okay? His name is Noah Rucker. All right.

[Phil]

For three more years.

[Rucker]

Three more years.

[Phil]

Better get to rolling.

[Rucker]

Built in babysitter, right? And we've already had this discussion. I'm like, look, you're going to babysit the kid.

[Martin]

And he's like, okay, so the discussion has happened.

[Rucker]

There's discussion, there's discussions.

[Phil]

Does he want a sibling?

[Rucker]

When does this thought. Well, anyway, no, I was scared.

[Martin]

He just winked at me.

[Phil]

Oh, wow. We may be there.

[Martin]

Rucker. Are you winking at me?

[Phil]

Are y'all going, like to the doctor today or something?

[Rucker]

No. High blind glass.

[Johnny D]

Oh, all right.

[Martin]

We're not gonna say nothing else.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Martin]

What an interesting thing that just happened right here.

[Phil]

I feel like I just watched the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer jumped out the window saying, jerry, she's late.

[Rucker]

She's late. I'll say this. The discussion has become ramped up. Ramped up. There's. There's ramped up discussion. Here's the deal with marriage. You get into all these scares. You know what I mean? We call them pregnancy scares. Okay, all right.

[Phil]

Oh, I thought Hunter was saying, like.

[Rucker]

Like, you know the feeling.

[Martin]

I'm sure sorry, Hunter doesn't know the feeling.

[Rucker]

Yeah, well, anyways, there was. There was recent pregnancy scare. And I told Noah said, hey, look, you're gonna have to watch the kid.

[Johnny D]

And he's like watching the kids.

[Rucker]

He's like, look, I. I'll watch it, but I ain't changing no diapers. And it's like, yes, you will.

[Johnny D]

Yes, you will.

[Rucker]

Yes, you will.

[Martin]

To be honest with you, I don't know that you want a 15 year old boy changing diapers because they're not smart enough to do it right.

[Phil]

But unless it's. Well, unless it's a little boy.

[Rucker]

Well, if it's a little.

[Phil]

But I'm a little girl, it gonna be some questions come up that you probably ain't ready.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah, true.

[Martin]

I got too many kids.

[Rucker]

Yeah, yeah. Well, how many you got now?

[Martin]

Seven.

[Rucker]

Good.

[Phil]

Minus four. Three.

[Martin]

Three.

[Rucker]

That's true.

[Phil]

That youngest. One count for two.

[Rucker]

Yeah, so. So, yeah, man, you know, I. I think it's in the cards. It's, you know, sounds like it's very.

[Martin]

Much in the car.

[Rucker]

It's in the cards.

[Phil]

So what I'm hearing is y'all aren't actively preventing, so therefore you're trying.

[Martin]

Ain't no goalie involved.

[Rucker]

Yeah, there's not a goalie.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

But I will say yeah now, I mean, you know, I've never heard rucker.

[Martin]

Tongue tied until this very. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil]

We just announced it to the world by accident.

[Johnny D]

No, no, no, no.

[Rucker]

There's no announcement. There's no announcement. Everybody look at these cameras.

[Martin]

Don't even look into this one, right?

[Rucker]

Hey, there's. There's no announcement.

[Martin]

No announcement.

[Phil]

But there is a possibility.

[Rucker]

There's always a possibility. I mean, we live in a world of possibilities.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

I mean, look at my life, okay? There's poss. It is possible. Okay. He is able. Yes, he is. Amen. You know.

[Phil]

Yes, you are. Yes you are.

[Martin]

Angel Gabriel. Gonna have to show up at my house for that to come happen.

[Rucker]

Oh, did you do the snip you. You snipped up?

[Martin]

They don't snip anymore. They burn.

[Rucker]

Oh, they just sizzle that thing.

[Phil]

Yeah, it smells. It smells like. It smells like whenever you see her. A duck breast.

[Rucker]

That's wild, man. Just a little Carterized.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Remember whenever he was telling the story and I go in there and just pull that out. It's. It's a. Yeah. Instead of a zit.

[Phil]

Yeah. Then it's a burn. Yeah. Kind of cool.

[Rucker]

I had a friend of mine, I.

[Phil]

Told him, take a little off each end. I said, don't just make a single cut. You can take a little off each end there, Doc. Well, I'm sure these things don't get back together.

[Rucker]

You don't hear about those going wrong very often anymore. But I had a friend last year.

[Johnny D]

They do go wrong.

[Phil]

They'll go wrong on you. Yeah, every now and then. Yeah.

[Martin]

You know, hang out with my three kids, though. You get three or four of them things just to be sure first comes to mind.

[Johnny D]

Hey, with. With man, you're limited. But with God, everything's possible.

[Martin]

Amen to that, Rucker.

[Rucker]

And I mean, we're talking 100 certainty on these things nowadays. There's no like, oh, accidentally, it's this.

[Phil]

On what?

[Rucker]

On the pregnancy test.

[Martin]

You'd like to hope so, yeah. Boy, I sure am.

[Phil]

You're gonna be 55 and with a kid in high school. Big dog.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

The math don't work unless you got some kind of like young Sheldon genius or something, which that math works, which is possible.

[Rucker]

But I mean, yeah, yeah, I mean, anything's possible.

[Phil]

Anything.

[Rucker]

He is able.

[Phil]

He is able.

[Martin]

It's gonna take him. Because the Parafala kids do graduate at 20 these days. One of them's gonna be yours. That one's gonna be held back.

[Rucker]

Depictate. Depicting.

[Martin]

It is.

[Rucker]

For those of y'all who are wondering. I've made up words before, many times.

[Phil]

That's the one thing you and I got in common.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Y'all take bits and pieces of other words and put them together and you just roll with it. It's fine.

[Rucker]

But you know who else I've met people that are. That do that and people don't even recovery. Right. But no, no, no. I mean, I'm talking about.

[Martin]

That was. That was low hanging fruit to my recovery family. I love you all. Stay the course, keep showing up, keep coming back.

[Rucker]

It wasn't working. Yeah. So no, no, no. Like Trent. You remember Trent, right?

[Martin]

Langhofa.

[Rucker]

Langhoff.

[Phil]

Yeah. Two words put together.

[Rucker]

Yeah, same thing. But nobody checked up because he got a degree. But I'm like, I got you.

[Phil]

I also did. Also recovery.

[Rucker]

Also in recovery. Valid point.

[Phil]

There's. There's just. There's like Mac, Owen.

[Rucker]

Oh, my.

[Martin]

Makes up words.

[Phil]

Godwin does, but I think that's just because he don't understand.

[Martin]

Say somebody emailed.

[Phil]

I don't think English was God one's deal. Like, I don't. I don't think language.

[Martin]

Neither was handwriting. Some. Somebody Danny from Minnesota emailed in Martin. He got a sack up in the mail, autographed. He said, I don't know what this says.

[Phil]

I says, john Godwin ham sandwich. I tell you what that says.

[Johnny D]

Very simple.

[Martin]

Only because I've seen it. I emailed it Back I said, I. I got that one.

[Phil]

But only because I. I love God, when you do not want to get behind him in like an autograph line because he's going to write ham sandwich on everything.

[Martin]

Every.

[Phil]

Every one of them.

[Johnny D]

Yeah, but I mean, you got to.

[Phil]

Because it. What his signature does not look like it says John Goblin. I don't know what it says, but it don't say John Galvin. It's just like a J and some stuff back there. But, man, congratulations on the getting the winning the teacup.

[Martin]

Oh, we've got a few email in. I feel bad.

[Phil]

That's awesome. They get yours.

[Martin]

He got me and he knew it was me because my signature is J. Scribble, scribble, scribble. D. Yeah.

[Phil]

Oh, there you go. Johnny D, Johnny Rock.

[Martin]

He's even smiling about it.

[Phil]

Hey, look.

[Rucker]

Oh, man, look at that.

[Martin]

I feel terrible for this guy because he could have got side. He got me.

[Phil]

But he's a Chiefs fan. He's good.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah.

[Martin]

He wins at everything. You deserved me. You actually deserve nothing. Yeah, man, I'm upset. You got that, Declan.

[Phil]

I saw that. Pin it behind his head.

[Martin]

The fun thing is it's so dangerous to send pictures into this because Martin notices everything in the background. Yeah. Hey, your two dogs are really going at it back there in the.

[Phil]

That's the one thing I look at on pictures is all the stuff surrounded them background.

[Rucker]

But you got to have that guy in the group. I mean, we pulled up a picture of me holding a fish and he told you exactly what was on the boat.

[Phil]

I had to look at it.

[Martin]

He's very observant.

[Phil]

I had. Yeah, I'm an. I'm an observationist. I like to look around at things.

[Martin]

Observationist at heart.

[Phil]

The. No, but so I packed all those orders. So. Yeah, y'all are welcome. Like I picked the winners of all the teacups. I just went in there and.

[Martin]

So if you didn't win, blame Martin.

[Phil]

We ain't been in there in a while. Hello. @room.com.

[Martin]

You know, I do like a kid's first deer picture and I've been trying to show. We've been getting a lot, but I'm showing some of them. Chris from Hilton's, Georgia. Nope. That is way off Hilton's, Virginia.

[Phil]

Oh, wow.

[Rucker]

I was going to say, man, this one. Okay.

[Martin]

Daughter Peyton. We're gonna put the picture up. We'll see what.

[Phil]

There we go, girls.

[Rucker]

Yeah, there we go.

[Martin]

Good looking deer.

[Rucker]

I appreciate that. For kids. First deer.

[Phil]

I like that her boots match her.

[Martin]

Hood Man, I knew he'd noticed something.

[Phil]

Pink fringes. That's awesome. Look at that smile on her face, though. That's what. That is why you take kids hunting right there.

[Rucker]

Yeah.

[Phil]

That is fantastic. Congratulation. Congratulations.

[Rucker]

Well, it's. Sometimes you get a kid's first deer and it's just like. I mean, a massive trophy and you're like, you'll like. Man, it's hard to. It's hard.

[Johnny D]

We just got back from Three Eagles Ranch down southwest Texas, and Sage killed her buck. And it was like 22 inside prayer.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah.

[Johnny D]

Huge buck.

[Phil]

Yeah. So he's gonna lay down and beside. Huge. Yeah, big. You know, on the last one, we had young Titus here to kill his first duck. I can't report we did get that done.

[Johnny D]

Oh, you did get.

[Phil]

It was a small miracle, but we got it done. He killed his first duck. Was a green wing teal.

[Martin]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Phil]

And then he ended up killing two more. So first one we got him one to land and he shot it on the water.

[Martin]

Amen.

[Phil]

And we ground swatted that he in that hand, green wing tail. And then a drake teal come flying through there, just kind of tipping over the decoys. And I said, well, kill him. And he raised up and he killed him flying and. Yeah, flying. And then he shot the last one. He shot him a. A big pretty shoveler. He got the full experience of it. It was a small miracle that we killed what we killed, so.

[Rucker]

Well, because ducks ain't. It ain't been very good.

[Phil]

Oh, it ain't hitting on much. No, it ain't. It ain't hitting on much at all around here. So the fact that we found some D ones in the clouds and no wind to. To come through there. You know what I said? I said, look at God. Oh, yeah, that was. I have nothing to do with us or nothing. I just. Look at God, man.

[Martin]

That's awesome.

[Phil]

Got any more first pictures?

[Martin]

I don't have any more first pictures, but I have one that we've been needing to talk about.

[Phil]

Okay, that's fine.

[Martin]

Jake from Pennsylvania State.

[Phil]

Pennsylvania.

[Martin]

He just wants to say that Hunter, okay. Is officially his favorite duck call room personality. Buddy.

[Phil]

I love it.

[Rucker]

Right?

[Martin]

And I have been say I wanted to let Jake know I want a Hunter camera and I want Hunter to have a camera on him and so do other people. But Hunter has said no.

[Rucker]

Whoa, hey, hold on. Timeout. If you're gonna be a personality, you gotta have it.

[Martin]

He doesn't want to be a personality. He Is a Hunter. You can. Hey, Hunter camera.

[Phil]

We'll see what happens in the new year.

[Martin]

In the new year.

[Phil]

I mean, we kind of low on budget. Do we need to start, like, a GoFundMe for a hunter cam? We're thinking about putting up a GoPro. I think GoPros are pretty easy to get. There.

[Rucker]

You get a hunter cam.

[Phil]

Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back.

[Martin]

Heard we're trying to get a hunter camera, and she walked in. Shut it down.

[Phil]

No, we cannot. I'm always a fan of a Beth cam, too. Let's just get one on our studio audience.

[Martin]

That actually is not a. Like a. Like, put it up here.

[Phil]

Let's get one there. That goes that way. Yeah.

[Rucker]

Oh, yeah. You could just put one in this. This back corner.

[Phil]

Actually, my favorite part of a hunter cam would be to see all the times he cringes when we change topics on some things, because I've seen the boy go. I mean, just like, he's like.

[Martin]

Whenever I was talking about them sizzling the vasectomy, I looked over, and Hunter's eyeballs were the size of.

[Phil]

I can't imagine that.

[Martin]

Yeah. Well, have three kids, and then you'll volunteer.

[Johnny D]

Yeah.

[Rucker]

One day you'll live that truth, Hunter.

[Phil]

And you'll realize that it's not that bad. And if they ask you to do it every three years, you would.

[Martin]

I'd do it every six months. You get ice cream, get your feet.

[Phil]

Up, you get a full weekend off.

[Martin]

Whatever you want to do, just plan it on, like, a good football and a good basketball weekend, and you're set.

[Phil]

Before you start that next email, I.

[Martin]

Wanted to say hunter.

[Rucker]

Hunter.

[Phil]

Oh, Hunter.

[Martin]

He's gathered his thoughts. He's ready to retort.

[Phil]

Back on the hunter cam thing, I guess I have a lot of weird stories that my co workers call hunter stories.

[Martin]

And I've been making a list for the next time that I come in. Not 10 minutes ago, I was. You accidentally said roundhouse kicks, and then you said, yeah, did that to my sister in the face. And I was like, what?

[Phil]

That's one of the stories. But my outfits with southwest Washtail first.

[Rucker]

Yeah, man.

[Phil]

To tee this up for another day, I have a story with the mafia in Baton Rouge. Did they start with the numbers 3 and 6?

[Rucker]

So they're Brighton spinners. I've got a bunch of weird stories.

[Phil]

The next time you guys are ready.

[Martin]

Oh, late night tip over here.

[Phil]

Okay. Yeah.

[Martin]

The more hunter, the better. According to Pennsylvania, which is a weird.

[Rucker]

State, but also makes sense. Most of your fans will come from.

[Phil]

Oh, I bet that's his grandpa.

[Martin]

Okay, no hunter cam.

[Phil]

I'm not from Pennsylvania. I just have a lot of family there. My mom's from Pennsylvania.

[Rucker]

Oh, no wonder they want a hunter camp.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That probably is his grandpa.

[Rucker]

This is erroneous.

[Martin]

A lot of calf tattoos.

[Phil]

His 70 year old grandpa got a driver's license two years ago, which is tight, by the way.

[Rucker]

Dude, I got a driver's license not too long ago also.

[Phil]

What else you got? Go ahead, let's finish.

[Martin]

Should we do one more?

[Rucker]

Yeah, let's do one more. One more.

[Martin]

Because I think we're. We're taking a little break. We've got some in the can.

[Phil]

We're taking a little hiatus.

[Martin]

So Christmas time is here. I don't know if you've heard, we're all gonna go to.

[Phil]

What are we making an appearance on Unashamed or something too?

[Rucker]

So like grandma, I don't know what's.

[Martin]

Happening, but we've got some great stuff coming up. Yeah, but this is gonna.

[Rucker]

We.

[Martin]

This is the latest email. It came in 16 minutes ago. So we're gonna do the latest email and then we're gonna go for Christmas. Ryan from Ramswear, North Carolina, probably not how you pronounce it.

[Johnny D]

North Kakalak.

[Rucker]

North Kakalagi.

[Martin]

He was wondering, and I've never thought about this, if you could talk to animals, what animal would it be and what would you ask it?

[Rucker]

Oh, that's easy.

[Johnny D]

All right, we got ruckers.

[Rucker]

That's easy.

[Martin]

Enlighten one.

[Rucker]

What animal would I talk to? Yeah, a lion.

[Martin]

What would you ask a lion?

[Phil]

That's. It's. Why is your breast stink?

[Rucker]

No, what's it, what's it feel like to be the king of the jungle?

[Phil]

He don't know he's king.

[Rucker]

No, he knows he's king. Have you ever watched a lion?

[Martin]

Yeah, but they don't even live in sleep all day.

[Phil]

They don't even live in a jungle. I've never understood that.

[Rucker]

Name one king. You know, that actually does work. Okay, my man don't got to work. He's the king of the jungle.

[Martin]

That's a great observation, that lions and human politics are very alike. Joe Biden. Lions sleep all day.

[Phil]

The women do the work. No, she didn't do that. Oh, man, we can't.

[Rucker]

I can't. Never mind.

[Martin]

I've never thought about this.

[Phil]

I talk to ducks every day.

[Rucker]

So that's actually true.

[Phil]

This via a duck call. And I ask them, will you please come over here? And they say, sure. And I say, well, thank you. Bop. But. But really kind of a one sided conversation.

[Rucker]

See, but you got to think about that question. I mean, you're talking about like. So I think that pets are a problem. Okay. Me personally, but I think that most people, like, they're like, oh, if you could talk to an animal, they'd be like, oh, I want to talk to my pet, right? Because it's a member of the family and all this jazz.

[Phil]

You used to be jolly. Now you hate Christmas and you hate.

[Rucker]

I don't hate Christmas. I don't just. I realize what being a. A.

[Phil]

When the hell did you get so mean?

[Rucker]

I'm not mean, man. I just.

[Martin]

He lived a little.

[Rucker]

Bro, let me say this. I've always felt that way about pets and y'all should know this about me. Okay?

[Martin]

I'm. I'm gonna probably side closer to Rucker than I am others, but continue.

[Rucker]

If you, if you're spending extreme amounts of money on an animal to live in your house and soak up air condition. Part of the problem.

[Johnny D]

I would have two animals. One of them would be a reindeer. And then. Hold on. Then I'd ask you, what kind of boss is Santa Claus?

[Rucker]

Oh, my God.

[Phil]

Hey, ask him.

[Rucker]

Hey, it's Willy Rob. Yeah, yeah.

[Johnny D]

Sometimes do you treat your reindeer right?

[Phil]

Oh, oh, my gosh.

[Rucker]

Okay.

[Martin]

He said I would talk to reindeer.

[Phil]

Oh, my gosh.

[Rucker]

Well, yeah. Good. Dude, you gotta. What is happening?

[Martin]

The microphone so Willie could talk into it. Now I broke this one.

[Phil]

Yeah, I love broken.

[Johnny D]

He breaks them all the time.

[Martin]

Luckily we're going on break.

[Phil]

Yeah. So read us a verse. Hold her and read us a verse and let her out of here.

[Martin]

Hold on. I would talk to like a. A whale of some whale.

[Rucker]

Okay, well, that would be absolutely pointless.

[Martin]

It's the biggest animal.

[Johnny D]

No, it ain't an animal.

[Rucker]

What is it? What does it do? What does a whale do?

[Martin]

It would eat a lion and I would have an army of whales.

[Rucker]

If. If you put a lion. We would rule a lion in the ocean. Yes. The lion loses. But you.

[Martin]

Every time you put a well in.

[Rucker]

The jungle, the whales losing baby.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, he's going to choke.

[Martin]

I just feel like if you rule the sea and you have a army.

[Johnny D]

Of whales, they don't rule the sea.

[Rucker]

Are we talking orcas? Are we talking, like, I was thinking.

[Martin]

All of them Killer whale.

[Rucker]

I like killer whales now.

[Johnny D]

Sure, I'm with him.

[Rucker]

I mean, Free Willie was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I mean, I'm just going, can you.

[Martin]

Imagine if he didn't make that jump.

[Rucker]

Yeah, dude.

[Martin]

Oh, me.

[Rucker]

Oh, dude. Michael Jackson.

[Martin]

Oh, all right. Anyway, man, so thankful he made that jump. Ephesians 3:20 is a verse that comes to mind when I see Rucker. Now, to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Have yourself a Merry Christmas. Have a great new year. We're still going to be pumping out content.

[Rucker]

All jokes aside, Merry Christmas, everybody. Hope you enjoy it with your family. It's the birth of Jesus, but just.

[Martin]

Keep your pets out of it.

[Rucker]

Put a stocking up for that dog.

[Martin]

Sat.