Uncle Si Has One Non-Negotiable Rule in Every Contract

Summary

Duck Call Room Podcast

Episode: "Uncle Si Has One Non-Negotiable Rule in Every Contract"

Hosts: Si Robertson, Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, and Jacob Mayo
Date: January 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this laughter-filled episode, the Duck Call Room crew bounces between hilarious stories, old-school home remedies, sports commentary, and Si’s infamous non-negotiable contract rule. The group dives into everything from new gadgets and hunting updates to advice on beard growth and solving medical issues with Vicks VapoRub. The episode, packed with playful banter and heartfelt moments, wraps up with a prayer for a young listener facing health challenges.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Banter on Snacks, Watches, & Tech Fails

• Opening Jokes & Snacks: The episode kicks off with the crew rating banana cookies and sharing preferences for classic snack cakes ([00:06]-[00:22]).
• Tech Gadgets Gone Wild: Martin receives a new smartwatch for his birthday. Johnny D. demonstrates features like heart rate tracking, but everyone gets bogged down in tech confusion. Si declares technology and him just don’t mix ([03:29]-[06:37]).
  • Memorable Quote:
    Si: "If I put that on my wrist, it liable to kill me. Because, hey, technology and technology does not get along." — [06:29]
• Johnny Two-Watches: Johnny confesses to wearing two watches, prompting laughter and jokes about who’s actually being monitored:
  • Si: "You're being monitored. Ah, think about that. Uncle Sam is watching Boys." — [07:01]

2. Military Service and Sports

• Active Duty Guest: The team acknowledges a visiting audience member, Race, who serves in the Navy, sparking friendly Army vs. Navy rivalry jokes. Si, a retired vet, expresses camaraderie and respect ([07:18]-[08:12]).
• Delta Force & Action Movies: The guys reminisce about classic Chuck Norris movies, mixing up real-life military with Hollywood depictions ([08:13]-[09:28]).
  • B: "That's a good Chuck Norris movie. Wasn't he in Delta?" — [08:24]

3. Name Game: Favorite Presidents & Rough Riders

• The crew discusses Harrison Ford’s age and Si’s favorite U.S. president (Teddy Roosevelt), with Si admiring Roosevelt for meaning what he said ([12:39]-[13:24]).
  • Si: "Plus, he was a man that said what he said and meant what he said. Okay, he was one of them." — [13:17]

4. Sports, Bowl Games, and Mocking Coaches

• College Football: Lively debate about the relevance of bowl games, with Martin and others suggesting they’re pointless now ([16:01]-[16:13]).
• Memorable Coach Moment: Discussion about Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin delivering a classic one-liner after a field goal miss ([14:56]-[15:14]):
  • D: "'Well, if my aunt had boy parts, then she'd be my uncle. But what ifs ain't really what I'm into.'" — [15:07]

5. Uncle Si’s “Non-Negotiable” Contract Rule

• The Legendary Snake Clause: Si recounts attending a snake rodeo and, due to his snake phobia, demands a clause in his contract allowing him “the right to kill anybody that brought a live snake up” ([19:24]-[19:39]).
  • Si: "That’s like when I went to the snake rodeo. I had them put in the contract that I had the right to kill anybody that brought a snake up. Live snake up." — [19:24]
  • C: "License to kill." — [19:36]
• The Reality of the Clause: The group pokes fun but acknowledges Si’s genuine seriousness.

6. Beard Growing Advice & Home Remedies

• Listener Email (Beard Troubles): Tyler from South Carolina seeks beard-growing advice ([27:54]-[29:04]).
• Si’s Theory: Shave often—up to six times a day—to stimulate growth. The others remain skeptical.
• Peanut Butter Theory: Phillip jokes about using peanut butter as a beard mask, which spirals into absurd home remedy talk ([32:21]-[34:37]).
  • Phillip: "You need to put peanut butter on your face and sleep in it all night." — [32:30]
  • Johnny D: "That’s not true." — [32:36]
• Old Remedies Galore: Si advocates for Vicks VapoRub as a fix for everything from hemorrhoids to back pain ([33:58] and throughout [45:00]-[48:08]).
  • Si: "I have got the cure for that ... Vicks Vapor Rub. Yep." — [33:59]
• Laughter at "Medical" Claims: The ongoing joke is that their advice usually comes down to peanut butter or Vicks, no matter what the ailment.

7. Hair, Beards, and Genetics

• The gang weighs in on whether beard growth is about genetics, DNA, or old-wives’ tales. Johnny D. and Si both blame DNA ([28:18]-[28:35]).

8. Audience Questions, Listener Emails & Nods

• Shoutouts: Clint gets a personal mention after requesting one in an email ([27:44]).
• Public Service Announcement: Hunter warns against rubbing mayonnaise on your body; you’ll get salmonella ([39:04]).
  • Hunter: "Mayonnaise is made from eggs, and if you rub it on your skin and leave it there, you’re gonna get sick." — [39:14]

9. The Power of Prayer

• Prayer Request for Listener Gracie: The episode closes with a heartfelt prayer for young listener Gracie, recently diagnosed with leukemia, who named her schnauzer after Si ([50:45]-[53:05]).
  • Si: "Father ... we bring Gracie into your throne room, Lord. And our request for you is that you take this cancer from her body, okay?..." — [51:35]-[53:05]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Technology
  Si: "If I put that on my wrist, it liable to kill me." — [06:29]

• Si’s Contract Clause
  Si: "I had them put in the contract that I had the right to kill anybody that brought a live snake up." — [19:24]

• Medical Marvels and Old-Timey Wisdom
  Si: "I have got the cure for that ... Vicks Vapor Rub. Yep." — [33:59] Justin Martin: "We’re an hour long 3am infomercial for Vick’s Vaporub for everything." — [45:42]

• Beard Growth Strategies
  Phillip: "You need to put peanut butter on your face and sleep in it all night." — [32:30] Si: "Buy you a lot of razors and shave five times or six times a day." — [30:22]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:06] – Opening snack review, crew's rapport shines
• [03:29]-[06:37] – Tech shenanigans: watches & health trackers
• [07:18]-[08:12] – Talking military and Navy guest
• [09:28]-[13:24] – Harrison Ford chat, Si’s presidential pick
• [14:56]-[15:14] – Coach Tomlin’s "what if" zinger
• [19:24]-[19:39] – Si’s mythic anti-snake contract clause
• [27:54]-[34:37] – Beard advice, peanut butter masks, Vicks for everything
• [39:04]-[39:14] – Hunter’s mayonnaise medical warning
• [50:45]-[53:05] – Heartfelt group prayer for Gracie

---

Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and often veers into absurdity. The crew’s Southern wit, loyalty to each other, and down-home wisdom keep the conversation both genuine and uproarious. The closing prayer, as always, grounds the humor in real community care.

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Conclusion

Whether they’re arguing over football, exchanging old-school remedies, or making each other’s heart rates spike, the Duck Call Room crew keeps it real. This episode stands out for Si’s legendary insistence on his “snake clause,” nonstop hijinks about home remedies, and their signature blend of humor and heartfelt faith.

Transcript

[A]

These are good.

[B]

What's it?

[C]

Strawberry?

[B]

Banana. Banana. They're like oatmeal cream pies, but not as good.

[D]

I don't like oatmeal is the weird part, but oatmeal cream pie sure does hit the ticket.

[A]

Yeah, well, this banana cookie ain't bad.

[C]

So what were you eating? A banana cookie?

[A]

Yeah. That was soft.

[B]

It ought to be soft as fresh. Fresh from the Little Debbie Factory.

[D]

Fresh to death. Let's do this.

[B]

We're good. What are we? Whatever. Why care now? Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen.

[D]

We started before, right when he says, what do we care now? And just go. We don't know what we're going to talk about, Martin.

[A]

But.

[D]

But why care now?

[B]

I know. I. We are. We're. We're. Yeah. I don't know.

[D]

What are you doing down there, man?

[B]

Trying to think. I don't. I've know what side probably wants to talk about, but I don't know how far down political roads we can go, so. Oh, they say that's what I'm talking about. So I figured you'd know more about this than I do. I ain't going to watch it or read.

[D]

I'm going to one day play the campaign on Call of duty in like 15 years.

[B]

Yeah. There you go.

[D]

Could you imagine going to bed in your Nike sweatsuit? Which, just so we're clear, you got.

[C]

One just like it.

[D]

I wish I did. Because if I ever do get abducted and taken to a different country and they post me all over social media, I want to look that good doing it. That was a cool fit he had going on, as the kids would say.

[B]

Yeah, I bet they let him get dressed. So he probably said, you know. You think so? Give me a second. Let me find.

[D]

I doubt it.

[B]

Don't nobody go to bed in a jumpsuit, do they?

[A]

But.

[B]

But in Venezuela, ain't it hot down there? I mean, when.

[D]

When the helicopters are like that. That's not like a. Would you like to put on your socks? Now you got to put them on.

[C]

And then run out when you get extradited by.

[A]

There was a lot of fireworks display going on.

[D]

When Delta 4 shows up, there's no.

[C]

Like, hey, you got five minutes, quick.

[D]

I got my old dunks on, not my new ones. Let me switch shoes.

[B]

Well, I would imagine, though, if you're accustomed to that life, you probably always ready to go. Probably gotta. You probably gotta go bag pack, like. Yeah, like instead of people having stuff packed to go to the hospital to have their kid probably like, you know what? I probably gonna end up in jail one day. Let me have me. Let me know how I want to look at my mug shot, man. Let me check this out. I mean, he probably didn't plan on being in jail in the United States of America, but you know, hey, play dumb games, win dumb prizes. All I gotta tell you, that's a tough one. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Is Venezuela in the World Cup?

[C]

Not anymore.

[D]

I bet they are. They're normally decent.

[C]

I think it got taken from them.

[D]

No.

[B]

Huh?

[D]

The World cup. Not like is the soccer thing.

[B]

The soccer game, Philip, not whatever you think it may be.

[D]

Let me see.

[B]

Not NATO.

[C]

Hey, I went to my first.

[D]

Oh, no, they're not in. They're not in Venezuela is not in the World Cup.

[C]

Johnny D. I went to my first moccasin game.

[D]

Get any good fights?

[C]

Yeah, we saw one good fight. It saw you would love it. You need to go to a moccasins hockey game, Monroe. Moccasins.

[A]

Hey, now they have rubber snakes they play with there.

[C]

That's true.

[D]

I'm going Saturday with the 4H Club, man.

[B]

It's watch.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Martin got a new watch, ladies and gentlemen. Martin watch.

[D]

Martin got a new watch for his birthday today.

[B]

I'm going to have to read the manual because this thing vibrates nonstop.

[D]

Well, I told you that it's got far too much information on it that you want.

[B]

Yeah, I got to figure out.

[D]

I don't because I recently switched up my. My health tracking watch, which makes me look stupid because I can't decide which watch to wear. So for about 11 days now, your Johnny 2 watch. I'm just going with it and seeing what happens.

[B]

Johnny two watches.

[D]

See if anybody makes fun of me or if it's like I'm just weird enough to pull it off.

[B]

Well, one of them's a Rolex. Okay. Nobody say a whole lot.

[D]

Well, you could. I look ridiculous, but this one counts my steps and my oxygen levels. This thing can. Can like track your heartbeat.

[B]

What's your heart rate right now?

[D]

Oh, right now.

[A]

What is your oxygen level?

[D]

I can tell you. You want to find out yours?

[A]

Yeah, I've got a thing I put on my finger.

[D]

Yeah, this is one that you do on your wrist. There's so many buttons on these watches, though. Anyway, Martin called me, like, hey, what watch you got? And I said, there's way too much stuff on it for you to like.

[A]

It, but here we are. Literally scary to me.

[B]

There's a light.

[A]

Scary.

[C]

There's a light going off. Johnny D's watch.

[D]

It's so complicated because there's too much.

[C]

Way too much, way too much.

[D]

Why is it too much?

[B]

Well, you ought to have 30. You ought to have 30 cell cameras out there taking pictures of ducks and deer if you want to talk about too much. My wrist has not quit vibrating since I.

[D]

Here we go. Here we go. Please make sure your wrist is snug and currently on the right wrist. Sit comfortably. Place your. Oh, wait, no, I'm doing an ECG and yours.

[B]

Do it. Do what? Mine's got heart rate right now. What's your heart? What's yours right now? 82.

[A]

82.

[C]

What's it now?

[D]

What?

[A]

It was interrupted.

[D]

Oh, wait, I'm doing it wrong. Oh, no.

[A]

Look, look.

[D]

You can watch my heart rate. Watch it sigh.

[B]

Look at it.

[C]

Fascinating.

[D]

It's gonna be like a doctor's office right here on my wrist. I'm never going to the doctor again.

[A]

I don't see. I don't see the heart pumping. That's a piece of junk.

[D]

I messed it up, man.

[A]

Hey, it's a piece of junk.

[C]

S. You nailed it.

[B]

These boys, we got to get side Garmin. Watch. Hey, hey, it's got gps. We can track you.

[A]

Oh, hey, I've already got that right here.

[B]

I know, but what if you forget your keys?

[A]

Look. Hey. Oh, I'm not going to forget my keys, cuz I got to have it to drive my truck.

[D]

Look, S. Look. Oh, man, my heart's all over the place.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Isn't good.

[A]

Oh, there we go.

[D]

Now it's normal.

[A]

So you got. Now you got the little spikies.

[D]

Well, yeah, it's called your heartbeat. Yeah, the little spikies are the little spiky.

[C]

Martin, how long have you had this watch?

[D]

Like an hour.

[C]

Oh, my goodness.

[D]

Those are sure no wonder you can't leave it alone. I think I. This microphone's messing it up. Oh, now it's normal.

[A]

That's scary for one reason. If I put that on my wrist, it liable to kill me.

[D]

Why would it kill you?

[A]

Because, hey, technology and technology does not get along.

[D]

Can you imagine size? Watch this dog cussing them always.

[A]

Y' all are always asking me about my phone. Somebody said, hey, you got your cell phone. I said, that would be a big goose egg.

[B]

No, apparently sitting here talking into a can makes your heart rate go up.

[D]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Anything makes your heart.

[B]

So this is technically, you know why. There you go.

[A]

You know, Martin, you know why that does that?

[C]

Why?

[A]

You're being monitored. Ah, think about that. Uncle Sam is watching Boys.

[D]

Wow, I thought you were a big fan of Uncle Sam.

[A]

Hey, Well, I served him about 24 and a half years. I guess I am a friend of his.

[B]

There you go. Well, and we do have.

[A]

Maybe he's a friend of mine.

[B]

We do have an in studio audience today. Yes.

[C]

We do.

[B]

That's an audience. Well, I don't forgot your name. Race Rate Race.

[A]

Is he a veteran?

[B]

Like car race?

[D]

He's an active.

[B]

No, he's not a veteran because he's still in.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, no, he's a veteran and he's serving.

[B]

He's active duty.

[A]

He's a active veteran.

[C]

Active.

[B]

Yeah, from the Navy.

[A]

See, I'm a retired veteran.

[B]

Go. Navy beat Army.

[A]

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[B]

Maybe Navy been beating everybody.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

They beat whoever else they play.

[A]

They got a good team this year. Yeah, Navy does.

[B]

They always do. They always. They always got a scary good team. The Army. Army always rolling around about.

[A]

Well, hey, look, we jump out of airplanes too much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Black Knights jump out of airplanes. It affects the brain. Huh?

[D]

Who went to Venezuela? Everybody.

[B]

Probably a little bit.

[A]

Well, no, probably our Delta Force.

[B]

Probably the best of each.

[A]

No, I didn't talk about Delta planes.

[B]

That's a good Chuck Norris movie. Wasn't he in Delta?

[A]

All right. What are you talking. Yeah, he was in it.

[B]

Yeah, that's what. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's one of his better ones.

[B]

Yeah. Is that when he was in the little, like, inflatable boat that had the teeth drawn on it? Yeah, that's it. Or was that missing.

[A]

On it?

[C]

Oh, yeah, you got John D. Y'.

[B]

All didn't watch him movies growing up like Delta Action.

[D]

The Delta Force came out three.

[C]

What is that?

[A]

Got them teeth. Oh, big teeth. That big cat is going, yeah.

[D]

Who?

[B]

I was in Delta Force. Now I need to know.

[C]

I can't remember Chuck Norris.

[A]

Lee Marvin was the main star.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was Lee Marvin in it?

[D]

Lee Marvin was in it.

[A]

I don't even know.

[D]

Lee Marvin is.

[A]

I don't know. Lee Marvin wasn't in Hot Delta.

[D]

I'm literally looking at it right here.

[C]

The Dirty Dozen did it said that Lee Marvin.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Throw it on the screen.

[D]

Hold on. There's all sorts of stuff on this.

[A]

I didn't know Lee.

[B]

I want to see screen grabs from it.

[D]

Chuck Norris was Scott and Lee Marvin was Nick.

[C]

What?

[B]

You go. Obviously, I got to go back and watch.

[A]

Been all the rest of them, so, hey, why not?

[C]

I do like Lee Marvin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

You know what's so crazy about that is that that's just a movie. Indiana Jones really happens in real life.

[B]

Except for all the muzzle flashes.

[D]

Yeah. And the missing. Once somebody goes that, people are out, man. They don't keep shooting back.

[C]

They don't shoot like Stormtroopers and miss ever every other time. Them boys are accurate.

[A]

Oh, this. I was just gonna say Stormtroopers. This is not bike belief.

[D]

Not even close.

[C]

Yeah, Stormtroopers can't hit nobody.

[B]

Really.

[C]

They're the worst.

[D]

Either. Harrison Ford is the most agile human.

[B]

Being on earth, which we all know that can't be the case.

[D]

I mean, he's really cool though. Or everybody that's ever shot at Indiana Jones or Han Solo or cross out that is the only logical explanation as to how Harrison Ford made it out of so many movies.

[A]

There you Go.

[B]

You think his friends call him Harry?

[D]

I don't think so.

[C]

He's scary or just scary Harry.

[B]

I mean, he's got to have a name. They don't just want hey, Harrison. Harrison. Who does that?

[A]

You don't normally. You don't say hey, Harris.

[D]

I think by Harrison.

[B]

Or do you think I would just call it Mr. Full?

[D]

I would definitely call him Mr. Jones.

[A]

Ford.

[D]

How old is he? He's Carter's favorite actor in the world now.

[B]

Yeah, I found that out.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I'm going to guess he's 81.

[D]

83.

[C]

83.

[B]

Is he really?

[D]

You gotta admit.

[A]

Oh, I should have asked him.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

He's older than favorite president. You know who my favorite president?

[D]

Yes, we do.

[C]

No, no, it ain't.

[A]

No, not the current one.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

No, I don't.

[C]

Oh, what, Ronald Reagan?

[B]

I'm gonna.

[A]

It was a good one.

[B]

I'm gonna say sigh is.

[D]

I'm going with Taff.

[B]

Grover Cleveland.

[A]

I. No, bank of West.

[B]

Teddy Roosevelt.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Teddy.

[A]

Rough Rider.

[D]

Got a cool name.

[B]

Theodore. Had a good mustache. Yeah, and some.

[A]

Plus, he was a man that said what he said and meant what he said. Okay, he was one of them.

[C]

So what does that mean? He said what he said and he meant what he said.

[A]

Well, hey, most of them, you know, just blow smoke.

[D]

Not.

[A]

Teddy said it. He's coming, buddy. He's like, oh, well, what was that? Valdez.

[C]

Valdez is coming?

[A]

Yeah, Val. He's like that movie Valdez.

[C]

You can book it.

[A]

Valdez is coming. What's he bringing with him? I'd be on Tombstone. He's bringing hell with him.

[B]

You tell him I'm coming and Hale's.

[A]

Coming with me, baby.

[B]

There you go. Hey, you got there.

[A]

No, there you go.

[D]

Hey, did Teddy have a bunch of good one liners?

[A]

Oh, hey, I. Teddy went up the. You know, San Juan Hill on horses. Him and his men. He was like. He was the. The leader of the Rough Riders.

[D]

Kind of like Mike Tomlin.

[A]

Yeah, Anything that's got to do with guns and horses.

[B]

I thought you're going Rough Riders. I thought that was dmx, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't.

[D]

Stop now, Mike Tomlin, did you see the. The.

[A]

I'll tell you who he was.

[D]

The Steelers game.

[A]

It'S just like Clint Eastwood, okay? No, he was the one that clean Eastwood copied.

[B]

That's how rough ride is.

[D]

You're still stuck on dmx. Did you watch. Hold on. Did you watch the Steelers and the. And the Ravens? Yeah, the other night. Last night you saw him miss that field goal to lose it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Did you see what they asked the Steelers coach? What they said, well, how would you have felt if he would have made that kick?

[A]

What did he answer? What'd he say?

[D]

He said, how would I have felt if he made that kick? Well, what if my uncle had girl parts? Be my aunt.

[C]

Did he really? No.

[A]

He said, no.

[D]

I back. He goes, well, if my aunt had boy parts, then she'd be my uncle. But what ifs ain't really what I'm into.

[B]

Is this a true story 100. Yeah.

[D]

Gives the greatest one.

[A]

We ain't in the what if, buddy. Yeah.

[B]

And it's at this point Hunter goes to sleep.

[D]

Yeah. Hunter's long gone. Hunter's over there Googling anime characters.

[B]

Hunter's trying to figure out where Stranger Things 5 all went wrong.

[A]

Here's the thing.

[D]

I'll tell you.

[A]

Here's the thing about football. Right now.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

The talent is so spread out. Good. Oh, the talent is so elevated everywhere. You know, the bowls have been showing that.

[D]

The bowl.

[A]

The bowls are going to the. I'm somewhere at the last second.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

On the clock, and they were winning when they're down seven points and they ain't got but five seconds to play.

[B]

Unpopular opinion. Get rid of bowl games.

[D]

Get them out of here.

[A]

Get rid of.

[D]

I'm a Martin.

[B]

Get rid of them.

[D]

All games are stupid.

[A]

Watching them.

[D]

Take your Pop Tarts back to the grocery store.

[B]

Yeah. Keep your cheese. I'm with you.

[C]

So I have enjoyed watching them.

[B]

What, the bowl? Oh, no, no, they're terrible.

[A]

Oh, hey, I don't remember the Hoover plate.

[D]

See?

[A]

But what.

[D]

No, no, they're great, though.

[A]

Trust me. But the whole game.

[D]

Fabulous team.

[A]

The whole game was score, score, score, score, score, score, score, score. All the way down to the last, like, five seconds.

[B]

If you want to watch that, watch basketball.

[A]

Oh, no, basketball ain't happening. And, you know, it's different talent.

[C]

So what happened in the end? The last one with a ball one.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And you don't remember the team?

[A]

I mean, he saw four touchdown. I'm talking about unreal.

[D]

Hold on, Martin. Just.

[B]

I'm going to take this watch.

[A]

Had good offenses and good desens.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it went to the wire.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

That was a good game I made till the last second.

[C]

I like. I like those games.

[A]

Oh, no, I like that camera.

[C]

I don't like to watch a blowout, you know what I mean? Unless it's LSU blowing somebody out. I don't mind that.

[A]

Well, I enjoyed the Seahawks.

[D]

Martin got a watch. He doesn't like y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

Now Martin's over here.

[B]

I. I enjoy the watch. It just drives me nuts that my wrist continues. I got to read the manual.

[C]

He's shaking his wrist, and it keeps buzzing.

[B]

The vibration Johnny D. Is sending. Alert, alert. Stop, stop.

[A]

That's what it is. He's the one. He's the one that's doing it.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

Okay, that's all right. Stop.

[D]

He said it's doing it.

[A]

Gosh, I like that.

[D]

That was fun. That was too easy.

[A]

What's dangerous when he's got equipment in his hand?

[D]

See, I'm. I tame the equipment. The equipment.

[B]

You just got my heart rate up to 92 doing that. I went from 77 up to 92.

[D]

My heart rate is. I don't know where to find that, but it's on here somewhere.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[D]

That was fun, Martin. I appreciate you allowing me to do that.

[B]

Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Or whatever I'm supposed to say.

[D]

My heart rate's 68. Yeah, I could say, oh, crap, it's six. Seven.

[A]

But, hey, I made my prediction.

[B]

What?

[A]

Who's going to win it?

[B]

The Ducks, baby.

[A]

You're saying Oregon.

[B]

The Ducks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's easy to pick.

[D]

Who am I going with?

[B]

Easy to pick Indiana, but that's what you mean.

[A]

Easy.

[D]

They're the number one.

[B]

They're the number one team in the. In the country. They've already.

[C]

Nah, I don't mean that. I'm taking the U.

[B]

Really? Yeah.

[D]

I'm going Miami. That's who I want to win. I have a Miami basketball jersey that I got on sale at Adidas's website.

[A]

You need to go to see the moccasins. Forget it.

[D]

Hold on. Did my wife buy those tickets?

[C]

I sound like the fruitcake lady.

[B]

The moccasins. He was a season ticket holder. I don't think he is anymore.

[D]

There's a lot of games.

[A]

Back to the snakes playing hockey.

[D]

Well, they're actual human beings.

[A]

Although.

[D]

Snakes playing hockey.

[A]

Oh, there's.

[D]

Snakes would be fun to watch.

[C]

So I wish you would go to a game.

[A]

No. Why not? They bring rubber snakes. I ain't going.

[D]

As long as you're not on the ice. Oh, shoot. That game's in, like, two days.

[A]

That's like when I went to the snake rodeo. I had them put in the contract that I had the right to kill anybody.

[C]

The right to kill.

[A]

Okay. That brought a snake up. Live snake up.

[C]

License to kill.

[A]

You lasting to kill.

[D]

You think that contract would have held up in the court of law.

[A]

Hey, I gotta. I got it in contract, son. Well, yeah, hold up, sir.

[C]

You shouldn't have signed it. Yeah, he's dead.

[A]

But still you knew.

[D]

Hey, that's a wild.

[A]

I'm like Trump. When I say something, I'm glad I.

[D]

He ain't just. Do you really have that contract?

[A]

Don't bring a lot to me.

[C]

I will shoot somebody if they get close to him with a snake.

[D]

No way.

[C]

Yeah, it's in the contract and it said not kill. It said that I will shoot whoever gets close to him.

[A]

Right. Shoot both of you.

[C]

And the guy laughed and said is he serious? I said, yeah, if you don't sign it, he ain't doing it. And so he signed it and said, yeah.

[B]

This that time, guys. New year, new you. And if you have some thinning hair, man, do we have something for you. Our friends over at Nutrafold are still in business. I know Christine started it. Has she said anything about it?

[A]

Hers was a little thin and hey, she started it's got better.

[B]

Brittany started it right after the boys because I had no idea that postpartum led to hair loss. Now she's just taking the women's core. For women under 45, Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people. The cool thing is is Nutrafol has multiple formulations designed to target the many root causes of thinning hair. So there is a blend for you. Nutrafol supplements are peer reviewed NSF content certified and clinically tested to measure results in growth, quality and strength. Helping you reach your hair goals with confidence. Look consistency is the key to meaningful results in Nutrafol. Make staying consistent simple. They set you up for long term success with automated deliveries, free shipping, up to 20% savings and and free one on one naturopathic doctor consults. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol for a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to nutrafold.com and enter the promo code find out why Nutrifol is the best selling hair growth supplement [e-mail] spelled N U T R-A F O L.com promo code that's nutrifol.com promo code Duck.

[D]

I will say though the Monroe Moccasins are on a 12 game winning streak. Yes, we're the kings of they're slithering around winning whatever League of hockey we are in.

[B]

Do you get to graduate?

[D]

What does that mean?

[B]

Like, no win this league? Do you go to a better league?

[D]

What kind of European mumbo jumbo is that you're talking about?

[C]

Yeah, they do it in Europe.

[B]

I didn't know how mine.

[D]

Promoting and relegating people.

[B]

I didn't know how minor league hockey went.

[D]

Well, if we did that, then the Falcons would have ended up in the Arena League a long time ago.

[B]

Get you some Atlanta Falcons joke. There you go.

[A]

I will go. I will go to it one way, J. Yep.

[D]

Let's hear it.

[A]

Jesus was right there beside.

[B]

Oh, I was go. I was hoping.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

If. If a snake B. Wouldn't even bother me.

[B]

Hey, but where two or three are gathered, he's there, so you might as well go, buddy.

[A]

Yeah, I'm going with you. You need. That's why I have to go with Lord. I need a little help in my disbelief here. I got a little faith, but I need a lot more if we're going to do that.

[B]

Where two or three are gathered, there he is also.

[D]

There's no. I was. There's no. Jesus is on the team.

[C]

Carlos, you would like the action, though, when they hit up against that big window. Boom. And they start.

[B]

Phillip, have you become a hockey fan?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I only went to one game. I loved it.

[D]

Once you go to a hockey game.

[A]

There'S no going back.

[D]

It gets in your bones.

[A]

Yeah, for the hockey game, huh? It's just like when Ali was boxing.

[C]

Muhammad Ali.

[A]

Muhammad Ali. They didn't go to watch the boxing. They went hoping somebody would be good enough to knock him down.

[D]

Isn't that boxing?

[C]

But, hey, they want to see him get beat.

[A]

No, they wanted to see a fight. Joe Frazier.

[D]

They didn't go to see the boxing.

[A]

That was so good. He was so good, they couldn't beat him. Never lost who. And it made everybody just. They. They hated him.

[D]

Muhammad Ali lost once, didn't he?

[A]

No, he didn't. Ali didn't lose. He caught. He was the greatest, son.

[C]

I remember he beat George Foreman in the jungle.

[B]

But you know what? I never got a Muhammad Ali grill.

[C]

Nope.

[B]

You know what I did have?

[C]

What?

[B]

George Foreman grill.

[A]

Boom.

[D]

It's the greatest grill in the.

[A]

It was a good grill.

[B]

Yeah, baby. Hey, make you a hot ham and cheese hamburger. You can just grill chicken, whatever you want.

[D]

My buddy made brownies in his. By the way, Muhammad Ali lost five times.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Well, it's toward the end there, so it didn't really count.

[A]

That's when he was fixing.

[C]

Yeah, he needed the money.

[A]

He's tired of being, you know, beating up on everybody.

[C]

Ah. He bet against himself, took a dive.

[B]

I don't mind that one. That's a good message.

[A]

Well, what.

[D]

What message you get there?

[B]

Your Benelli 28 gauge is here for pickup.

[D]

All right, Mark.

[A]

Got what?

[B]

I got a new 28 gauge.

[A]

Oh, why? Three inch, three and a half inch.

[B]

Three inch, three inch.

[A]

Why did you order me one?

[B]

They said they had one for me to try.

[D]

Sorry, he lost his smoking. Joe Frazier.

[A]

I know. I know the wrong people. Yeah.

[B]

Now you know the right part is a new one. This is a test gun. This one is not production model. So this is a. This is a. Test it out and give me your feedback.

[A]

Well, next time I'll go with you.

[B]

You want to shoot it?

[A]

I'll use it. Yeah.

[C]

Do a little testing.

[B]

We can go one handsome.

[A]

Yeah, I am one handed.

[B]

We can go one hand, some jacks, and video it. Yeah. Boom. Well, you got video with a phone, though. That makes it tough. Well, you got to hold the phone.

[A]

It won't work. Somebody else has to video it.

[B]

Okay, I'll try. Would you quit texting?

[A]

Hey, if I get the phone, it mean.

[B]

No, it was Philip. It said hello, and then it was an emoji. Doing this couldn't just do that in one.

[A]

Well, that's better. Hey, me opening my phone up and it giving me just a. Just a sound cussing out.

[C]

Stop sound cussing.

[A]

Yeah, using. Using the bad word, too. I'm talking about.

[C]

I heard about that.

[A]

I don't believe my wife that day that that happened, because I didn't scream, Christine. She said, what now? I said, this phone just cuts me out. And she said, what did you do? I said, dial the wrong number. No, no. I said, there you go. To be just like my bosses in the army. I don't. I'm not smart enough to do anything with this.

[C]

You may have called somebody and they gave you a hot cousin.

[A]

Oh, this was just a. Hey. It was AI in the phone. It was. It was a sweet young lady.

[D]

That was before.

[A]

AI was a sweet young lady that had a beautiful voice. But she was giving me the custody of my life. Oh, serious?

[D]

Hello, Silas, You. Sorry.

[A]

Oh, you blanket.

[C]

I say she had a. I don't.

[D]

I don't know that I believe this story. I. I've heard it many times.

[C]

There's a lot I didn't believe and then I would believe later when I found out.

[B]

So, Philip, do you believe?

[C]

I believe what he's Telling me happened.

[B]

Does Johnny D believe?

[C]

No.

[A]

No.

[D]

He's in Tyler Schuck taking us to the. Yes, I do. But I don't know what you're trying to do.

[C]

I don't think I like it.

[D]

And I will start.

[B]

That's just for our stranger. Our Stranger things.

[A]

The Machine.

[B]

I believe it's a show.

[C]

Hey, I don't like side you. That's right. Side.

[A]

Stop.

[B]

Do you believe?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I believe.

[B]

There you go. There you go, Hunter. There's our Instagram clip for the week. Yeah, just everybody. I believe.

[D]

I wish the monsters would have eaten every one of them.

[A]

What?

[D]

Do you believe that the monsters would have eaten all them kids? Hey, Clint says we never read emails anymore. Well, hey, your face. Clint just read yours.

[A]

Oh, what did he say?

[B]

I do have one. We're going to do it.

[D]

He wanted to give us. He wanted a shout out and his name's Clint, so.

[A]

Well, hey, shout out Clint.

[D]

What up, Clint? And then I do have one called beard Advice. It's an email from Tyler, who apparently doesn't have a good beard. He's from Hartsville, South Carolina.

[A]

What is. I got a question about that. Yeah, what is it that some people can grow beards and then there's others that just can't grow one?

[C]

Follically challenged. Thanks, Hunter.

[A]

Is it. Is it?

[D]

Well, that's what Tyler's wondering. He wants to grow a beard.

[A]

Is it DNA problem? A DNA problem?

[B]

I would suspect it's all genetics.

[A]

Well, I think DNA is genetic.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah, I would. I would suspect that it's.

[D]

He said it's genetic and so I said, no, it's DNA.

[B]

I would suspect it's. Why do some people have hair and some people don't.

[A]

Dress?

[B]

Nope.

[C]

That could be.

[A]

Young man. Stress is a problem.

[D]

Well, then why is your hair gray? You should still be all full head hair.

[B]

We shouldn't see nothing but your eyes.

[D]

Yeah, you should look like.

[B]

We shouldn't see anything but your eyes, old man.

[D]

Stress causes it.

[C]

No stress.

[A]

Oh, I am not stressful.

[B]

I, I, you know. No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You, you don't have any stress.

[A]

Those around me.

[B]

You're minorly stressful.

[A]

Well, I was fixating those around the food with me. Yeah, they have a lot of stress.

[D]

You give Hunter a lot of stress.

[A]

But hey, I know it. But so does breathing have a metal thing up here to play with? Hey. He took it away.

[D]

Yeah. Where did that go?

[C]

Gone.

[A]

He took it away.

[B]

All the noise makers left.

[C]

Yeah, no, he's got.

[A]

He's still got a head. I Used to have a bell. That's gone.

[B]

That's gone.

[A]

I used to have the bongo draws. Hey, since I'm not musical and I can't play them.

[B]

Gone.

[E]

I moved the vice in the corner.

[D]

Why did you move the vice?

[E]

Because it's the one sound I can't edit out.

[A]

You can't edit out? You can't edit it.

[E]

I can edit out pretty much everything else. Every time you hit the table and everything. Except that stupid face.

[A]

The only thing he got it out. Me sleeping, too. I was 10. I was tired that day.

[D]

It's fine.

[B]

You were. That's because you're so stressed.

[D]

Well, as someone with a great head of hairstyle, what do you suggest to Tyler on how to grow a beard?

[A]

I'm telling you, this will work. Buy you a lot of razors and shave five times or six times a day.

[D]

What?

[B]

You got to wake them up.

[A]

Hey, just shave every day. Five, six times.

[D]

Why?

[A]

Because then you'll have a beard now.

[B]

I don't ever shave my back and it's covered in air.

[D]

Hold on. So to grow a beard, you got.

[A]

To shave your face?

[B]

Oh, man. It's duck season. We ride in the middle of it, and this is a time of year where we are as tired as you are ever going to get. So the most important thing you can get is a great night's sleep. And that starts with a Helix sleep mattress. And, buddy, ours are still rocking and rolling. We've had them for four years now, and it legit has been the best sleep we have ever had.

[A]

All you got to do is take the test.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Okay. It's tailor made.

[B]

Tailor made for you.

[A]

And then, hey, it actually the test. If you honestly answer honestly, then what they send you is what you will need, and you'll have a great night's sleep.

[B]

But don't just take our word for it. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like for and Wired. But if you have a sleep tracker, the proof's in the pudding. Brittany's wearing one of those deals now, and her sleep score is great for us. Like, the midnight worked for us because it's a little bit firmer. And I tend to sleep flat on my back. I wake up in the morning, my back don't hurt. My legs don't hurt. Shoulders don't hurt, arms don't hurt. None of that hurts because I have a mattress built for me. And as much as we travel, that is the thing that you miss the most is your mattress. Like, there's Definitely a lot of.

[A]

When you take a trip and sleep on another one.

[B]

There you go. So look, if you want to have the best mattress for your house, go to helixleep.com for 27% off site wide. Exclusive for listeners of duck call room. That's hel sleep.com for 27 off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so that they know we sent you helix sleep.com.

[C]

Well, it comes back thicker is what he's saying. You shave it, it comes back thicker. But you need to put peanut butter on your face and sleep in it all night. And then when you.

[D]

That's no way.

[A]

There we go. Yeah.

[D]

No, you're making that up to make Tyler.

[C]

That's true.

[D]

That's not true.

[C]

You leave it on.

[A]

No, no, there might be somebody.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Look, all the time. The real pretty ones.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. They have a.

[D]

What about the average ones?

[A]

No, no. Well, they don't. They don't. They don't count anyway. Hey, they have. They have a cream that they put on their face. They go to sleep with it at night.

[D]

Peanut butter, huh?

[A]

Well, no, no. It makes them look younger and pretty. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe the peanut butter has got to do. Yo. With a guy that can't grow a beard. Hey, look, here's my deal on that.

[B]

Please.

[C]

Got a deal on everything.

[B]

Somebody take the shovel out of his hand because he's just pick the shovel.

[D]

From what he say last week, I know what it's like to have a baby. It's like a deer shedding antlers.

[A]

Oh, no. I'll give you. Now I'll give you.

[D]

Them average women don't matter because they don't put mask on while they sleep.

[A]

No, because I'll give you this.

[C]

Alabama women.

[A]

He said, Jason Robertson has hemorrhoids. Okay.

[B]

How the heck did we get the hemorrhoid?

[A]

No, no, I'm gonna get there. Look. And he's always. He was always in the blind. He'd be. Whoa. Oh, my goodness. We'd say, what's wrong? He said, my hemorrhoid jacked him. And I said, hey, I have got the cure for that.

[D]

Okay?

[A]

I said, Vicks Vapor Rub. Yep.

[B]

On a spoon. Don't put it on your finger.

[A]

That's right. Put it on where you dip it with a spoon. Get it off spoon that way.

[D]

Look, don't want to double dip.

[A]

Hey, don't double dip. But anyway, yo. Hey, here's my. Here's my advice on this. If you got something that ails you, okay?

[D]

Put peanut butter.

[A]

And hey. And the doctors have. Have tried everything, and it done. It helps if somebody says, hey, hey, I got a cure for that. You know, I got something that'll help.

[C]

You might as well try it.

[A]

Why wouldn't you try it?

[D]

Because you told him to rub peanut butter all over his face instead of.

[A]

Being over and go, oh, he's killing me. Oh, my goodness.

[C]

He'll have a beard in six weeks. Be like, hey.

[A]

One doctor or text and said, hey, Mr. Robinson is right. Big fiber, we're back on bed. If it's itching, it'll make it stop itching. If it's hurting, it'll make it stop hurting. And then, hey, look, if you have trouble not doing number two, hey, you'll be like a brand new submarine that's just got loaded with torpedoes. It'll fire them babies out there, hey.

[D]

You know, fire our Navy. Our Navy man has confirmed that's what happened.

[B]

Our man race over here. I got it.

[A]

But anyway, hey, peanut butter may help you.

[D]

That's not. You made that. He made that up.

[A]

And the man is interested in growing a beard. Hey, look, you got any preferred bottle jiffy? Huh?

[C]

Jiffy peanut butter.

[B]

You are making creamy or crunchy?

[C]

Yeah, no, the creamy, creamy part.

[A]

Chunky. No good.

[B]

If I put peanut butter on my face and go to bed, you know what's up? You know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna wake up with my dog on top of my face going, I asked it.

[D]

I asked the machine, and the machine.

[A]

My dog says, hey, I get a good clean face. My dog loves peanut butter.

[B]

Yeah. I'm going, jude's going to lick every square inch of my face clean.

[D]

Yes, peanut butter can help with beard growth because it's rich in body, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah, which nourish hair follicles.

[A]

Are you making that up?

[D]

No, I'm reading it.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Promote healthy hair though eating it is the primary way to get these benefits. Some suggest it is an ingredient in DYI DIY beard mask for moisture. To use it for beard growth, use it regularly as part of a balanced diet, or incorporate it into homemade hair mask for conditioning.

[A]

Check it out. Ask him. Ask the machine about women use it for facial making their face younger.

[D]

Do I have to ask specific type of women or can.

[B]

Tyler.

[D]

I don't know how we got here.

[B]

What can ugly women do.

[D]

Peanut butter on those things?

[B]

At least a dog will play with them.

[A]

Hey, I bet what happened, you use crunchy instead of green.

[D]

Hold on. Tyler's not a kid. Tyler's, like, almost my age. Tyler's a grown man.

[A]

Tyler, probably use peanut butter. Okay. No, use creamy peanut butter.

[D]

Tyler, before you smear your face with peanut butter to grow a beard, your grown man let that thing go for, like, you grow.

[A]

You do what you want.

[D]

Well, yeah, do what you want to do, but in. But in two months, go look in a mirror.

[B]

Oh, man.

[D]

And it's either going to be there or it's going to need to be shaved off your face.

[A]

Well, no, I'm saying.

[D]

And you're gonna know it.

[A]

Hey, shave it. Shave it seven or eight times a day.

[D]

No, peanut butter will fix it if.

[A]

You can't do it, because I'll tell you why.

[D]

I'm just trying to help the guy.

[A]

Hey, my son. Is that why he. His beards grow so fast in the military, they would tell him, hey, you forgot to shave this one. He said, no shape.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

So he would have to carry his razor and shaving kit with him to shave during the day.

[B]

No stress.

[A]

Oh, that's just. His beard just, you know, goes fast big time.

[D]

So, Tyler, good luck.

[C]

Good luck, Tyler. I said DNA again, boys, before and after pictures also.

[D]

Yes, please.

[C]

And if.

[D]

If you rub peanut butter all over your face, please let us know if it was.

[B]

Yeah. Can we have a selfie?

[A]

Hey, don't go with crunchy, boys. It'll probably break you out. You put crunchy on.

[B]

Nobody want. Never mind.

[A]

I use creamy. I can't believe people if it's creamy.

[B]

I self edited their hunter.

[D]

Apparently, mayonnaise does it. Okay.

[E]

That is how you get salmonella. Do not rub mayonnaise on yourself.

[A]

Oh, mayonnaise in the trash can. All right, hold on.

[D]

I got a new email to read. This one's from John David in West Monroe. Hunter said something about not rubbing mayonnaise on himself. Is this from personal experience?

[E]

Not personal. I've never done that. I'm smarter than that.

[D]

Well, then why do you know?

[B]

And why do you feel so strongly.

[D]

Like that's the one thing that got you fired up today?

[C]

Tell us more.

[E]

I. I just. I just know that you. That's a good way to get salmonella, because mayonnaise is made from eggs, and if you rub it on your skin and leave it there, you're gonna. You're gonna get sick boxes. Know that? Off the top of my head, but.

[B]

I thought some people used to put it in their hair for life.

[A]

Hey, that's why I don't like mayonnaise.

[B]

So would you rather have Salmonella or hairline sick, huh? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

[E]

I don't know how that works.

[C]

I've never got life hunter once.

[D]

This is a weird day with mayonnaise.

[A]

This is a medical alert. Do not rub mayonnaise on your skin.

[C]

A public service announcement.

[A]

It will make you sick.

[B]

You ain't got to worry about me rubbing mayonnaise on nothing.

[A]

That's right. I don't. I don't like.

[D]

Except for a hamburger.

[A]

Mustard, cheeseburger. Hey, who doesn't like corn dogs? Corn dogs. Mustard.

[B]

Yeah. I'm for one.

[D]

Hold on. Mayonnaise and corn dogs aren't a thing. Nobody does that.

[C]

But BLT's with mayonnaise.

[A]

Yeah. Light.

[C]

Light.

[A]

Very light.

[C]

Very light.

[A]

I. I have to tell that. Hey, give me a blt and very light on the man eggs.

[B]

But you don't want to got mad. So you're okay with whipped eggs being on there. But somebody fry one and put on your blt. And that's a problem.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, look, when I want. When I want a blt, I want a blt. Get the eggs. When I want eggs, I want them over easy.

[B]

When I want a blt. Forget the L and the T. No, just give me the B.

[A]

You need to say, hey, give me some. The bread and I think the double B. And then put a little P in there on the one side slice. Does the bread.

[D]

Pimento cheese.

[C]

Hey, peanut butter.

[A]

Bacon and peanut butter sandwich. Bb.

[C]

Hey, look at his beard before you.

[D]

That is a healthy beard.

[B]

He puts more on that one side of his face than the other.

[D]

That's because he eats out of that side. Because that was the only side with teeth before.

[C]

He's chewing on that one side.

[D]

Now we know.

[B]

I hate to call him. I told somebody about your hemorrhoid remedy the other day. Somebody we know dearly.

[A]

What'd you say?

[B]

I don't think he's tried it yet.

[A]

Hey, I'm telling you.

[B]

Who do I spend a lot of time with this time of year?

[D]

Oh, man.

[B]

Well, you said it, not me. Hey, I didn't say it.

[A]

I'm just saying. Hey, look, I told Jason his face.

[B]

I got a question about that. Vicks. Whenever. Does it itch? When it dries, does it? It's when it dries, itch is gone.

[A]

No, I'm telling you. Hey, if they are itching, it'll stop it. If they hurt, it'll stop it. If they're inflamed, it will make it go Away.

[B]

Yeah. How do you.

[A]

Like I said, if you have trouble doing number two, you won't have any trouble anymore.

[B]

So you put on the outside or the inside?

[A]

Inside.

[C]

Oh, you drink it.

[B]

No, no, no. Like a suppository.

[C]

No, I'm. I'm asking for Clay because I want to let him know you'll be with him next week.

[B]

We're gonna be with him next week. Please show up with a jar of Vic and just hand it to him.

[C]

We're gonna give him a dog.

[B]

Don't tell him nothing. Just hand it to him with a spoon.

[A]

I said, hey.

[B]

And just say, this is my lucky spoon.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And just le. All right, this is the time of year. Look, everybody's making resolutions, and they're going to change this and change that. And you know what? You got to have to get that change. You got to have a good night's sleep. And one way to make sure that that happens is to upgrade your pillows. You know who we're talking about? Oh, yeah, the folks over at MyPillow.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

They. They make the great indoors better. MyPillow is passionate about helping everybody get the best sleep of their life, starting with the best pillow ever. Right now, they're passing on the best prices to you. When you use promo code, you can get wholesale pricing on the classic MyPillows for $17.98. But don't stop there. MyPillow has more than just great pillows. Get a set of Giza sheets for as low as 29.98 or the six pack towel set for only 39.98. Baby, you've been in that robe, ain't you? Oh, yeah, that little cool down.

[A]

Yeah, as soon as it cools down, it comes out.

[B]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

I walk out on my back porch and be comfortable.

[B]

Yeah. And the boys always taking Britney her fuzzy slippers.

[A]

Everything they got is good.

[B]

They've been with us for forever. There's a reason they're still with us. And spoiler alert, some people on my Christmas list got my pillow stuff for Christmas. So if you're one of them, you're welcome. Look, to get the best Specials, go to MyPillow.com or call 1-800-969-3137 and use the promo code duck. These offers won't last long, so visit MyPillow.com or call 1-800-969-3137 and use the promo code D. Don't wait.

[A]

Hey, do it today. Immediately.

[D]

I feel bad for People that are friends with us, just leave it at that. We will tell the whole world that you have hemorrhoids.

[A]

I don't remember who sent me the email on the phone they sent it to.

[B]

Somebody said, hey, no, they sent it to me. I read it. I read it to you. I remember it.

[A]

Saying what he's telling you is true.

[B]

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. But, man, if you'll show up with, like, a jar that's been opened and then you're lucky spoon that will get. It'd get a really good laugh from me.

[C]

Oh, we'll bring it and we'll video it.

[B]

Yeah, we're gonna have to video it.

[D]

Because I could feel bad for our friends.

[B]

You can't feel bad for him.

[D]

He's right now he's doing all right.

[A]

That has to do with me personally, okay? Because, look, my tolerance of pain. Zero.

[B]

Zero, boys.

[A]

Okay? So if it. Like I told him when we pretty high.

[D]

If you'll put next up your butt with the.

[A]

With the dentistry that I just had done. I had told him to tell the people. I said, hey, look, I have no tolerance to pain. I said, so, hey, you got to make this pain free or I ain't doing it.

[B]

I ain't doing it.

[D]

Pain free and drug free.

[A]

No, but that's just the way I am. If I'm in pain, it's over, boys. I'm going somewhere to get something to get it fixed.

[D]

I just love this podcast. How you guys grow a beard? Let me tell you about Jace's medical diagnosis.

[A]

Well, no, no. Cause, hey, guess what?

[D]

Clay's got it, too.

[A]

Hey, every time you grow a beard.

[B]

You want to get rid of him.

[A]

Every time he gets a wiring, all I would say is, hey, look, it's your own fault.

[B]

We're an hour long 3am infomercial for Vic's vapor. Up for everything. Look, mama's, you really need a spot in the Farmer's Almanac.

[A]

Here's the deal. Mama used the old home remedies, and Vic's V rub was at the top of the list.

[B]

Your mama shove a spoonful of castor.

[A]

Oil in your mouth?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. My grandma did that. Yeah. Anything, it was wrong. Anything that was wrong.

[D]

All right, hold on.

[A]

I'm serious. If you had a sore throat, he moved his bike. Boom.

[D]

I have a question.

[A]

What is the name of oil?

[B]

Castor oil.

[A]

Castor oil.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I ain't talking about a little teaspoon.

[B]

No, tablespoon.

[A]

He's been heaping full tablespoon. And then talking about now.

[B]

Yeah. Mama slip up behind me, say, turn around. All right. Turn around.

[A]

So, cheese chip. Chip my front teeth.

[D]

So can you fix anything on the human body?

[A]

Well, no, no. I'm just saying, hey, there's certain things that, hey, remedy that are remedies that are old.

[D]

What about a back hurt?

[A]

And I'm talking about, like, great. Hey, this is great. Grandmama's hurt your back?

[D]

Yeah, I've hurt my back. So how do I fix that?

[B]

Where's that?

[D]

Right in the dead middle.

[B]

Ain't your trust.

[A]

Get your wife to open a bottle.

[B]

A little cabernet sauvignon.

[A]

All right. Fix vapor up. Wait, no, no, no. Hey, I'm serious.

[B]

You know, my problem ain't there.

[A]

No, no, I'm serious.

[C]

It's gonna heal everything.

[A]

Hey, it will then get a little.

[B]

Bit on her finger.

[A]

They'll hurt to rub on your back. I can spot that's hurting.

[C]

And then get a little lower mix Vapor rub.

[A]

Okay. And you don't want it all over the house. So how. You put a gauze pat on top of it. Okay. And hey, I guarantee you, you give.

[B]

It 30 minutes and a spoonful of castor oil and an Epsom salt bath.

[A]

Your back will not be hurting.

[D]

Vicks VapoRub.

[A]

The hay.

[D]

I thought that was for, like.

[A]

Well, I would get a chest cold. That's what my mama would do with.

[C]

My Chef Bix Vapor rub.

[B]

That.

[A]

That's vapor.

[B]

But you know what?

[A]

You know what it's for?

[B]

You know what's directly behind your chest? Your back. It never hurt.

[A]

I'm sure. I'm serious. Hey, this paper up. Hey, I don't know what it is about it. It's good for all.

[B]

And you need to put some onions in your socks while you sleep.

[A]

Oh, hey, look, if you cut your fan, like. Like, grab a sheet of paper and have a paper cut. Hey, you'll bleed like stick pig. But, hey, it also.

[B]

If you'll take a knife and cut your other finger, you'll forget about the paper.

[A]

Well, no, no, no. You put Vape Vapor rubber in there. It'll stop the bleeding and it'll stop the paint.

[D]

I'm gonna go buy a gallon of Vicks vaporuba.

[A]

Hey, I've got a bottle sitting everywhere in my house.

[B]

Does it have to be Vicks or can equate to it?

[A]

Nope.

[C]

And there's a spoon of them.

[A]

I've always used Vicks. You know, that's what mom would use as a child. There you go. I was a child. Phil always said, hey, now, anything that got a fume, you know. And I said, well, hey, look, you wouldn't play with gasoline and put it around your eyes. Now anything that's got a. That makes a fume and you can see it and Vic's vaporub, you, when you open it, you hold the bottle up, look, and you're just like looking at, you know, the sun waves on a desert.

[D]

What?

[C]

Yeah, it's got fumes.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So now you don't. You don't put it around your eyes, you know, unless you want to go blind, idiot.

[C]

So sigh. You don't ever consume that?

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay. I was trying to understand something that's.

[D]

On the bottle not to do that.

[C]

Okay, good.

[B]

All right.

[D]

I'm gonna try it on my back.

[A]

Tonight, see if I'm serious. And I look, it won't take much if she puts it just a little bit. That's cold heart cuts her. Coats her finger and then just rubs it in good where your back is hurting. I'm telling you it will. First thing you'll feel is it'll get hot.

[D]

I don't like that.

[A]

Well, no, no, but that's part of the. That's what helps. Your back will get hot.

[B]

It might feel like size that. That manager or the. The assistant coach off rookie of the year.

[D]

It's been so long.

[B]

Like hot ice. Gonna heat up the ice.

[A]

Here's what I bet. I bet you if you look at it, if you buy that stuff that Shaq's always advertising, Icy hot. Yeah, I see hot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I guarantee you there's some type of fixed vapor rub in there.

[B]

Oh, menthol. Yeah, menthol has been used.

[A]

I guarantee you that's what's in there.

[B]

I mean, they put menthol and cigarettes. That stuff so good. So, you know, I mean, all menthol is a cure all.

[A]

But anyway, I know my mother. My mom used it for everything in the world.

[D]

I'm sorry, what you got on the phone there?

[B]

I gotta look.

[D]

Said you had one.

[B]

I gotta look it up in my phone. It is. It was a prayer request.

[A]

What?

[B]

Prayer request for what? What is her name? Gracie. Big fan of ours. She just got a schnauzer puppy. She named it Sigh. But she has been diagnosed with aml, which is acute myeloid leukemia. So she starts treatment asap. So her mother reached out asking if we could say a prayer for Gracie. So I said, sure. So, sigh. You want to lead us in a prayer for grace?

[D]

Can we get a picture of the schnauzer named Psy as Well, that makes me Gracie. Thank you for having a schnauzer. And thank you you for naming it Sad. That's.

[B]

I don't see.

[A]

Now.

[D]

That's a schnauzer.

[A]

That's a good looking dog.

[D]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

I've got a good looking dog, Gracie, but go ahead. All right, y' all bow your head with me. Father. We're gonna bring Gracie into your throne room, Lord. And our request for you is that you take this cancer from her body, okay? And we know that if you just even think it, okay, you're the creator, that if you think it, it'll be gone. Or you can use the doctors and nurses and do it through them. But our request to you, Father, is look down on Gracie with your infinite love and power. And we ask that you take this cancer from her body. Then you give her long life in your service as one of your great warriors in your kingdom. But that is our request to you, Father, for Gracie to be with her family, bless them and keep them safe. Protect them from the evil one. And, Father, we ask that for all of us, protect us from the evil one. And we thank you for your love. We thank you for all the blessings of life. We thank you for your creation. But most of all, we thank you, Father, your love that you sent your son Jesus. And, Lord, we thank you what you did on the cross for us, that through you, we have the hope of living eternity with you. Thus, your Son and your Holy Spirit. And again, Father, thank you for all the blessings of life. And we ask this through Jesus, our Lord and savior. Amen.

[B]

Amen.

[C]

Thanks, man.

[B]

Thank you all for listening. Gracie. Yep, that's our heartfelt prayer to you.

[A]

Give that schnauzer a hug for me.

[B]

There you go. And we'll see y' all next time right here in the duck call room. We're out.

[D]

See out.

[A]

Sam.