Uncle Si's Best Friends Plot to Vandalize His Home

Summary

Duck Call Room – “Uncle Si Laughs at Trump Being an Absolute Weirdo”

Date: June 11, 2026
Hosts: Si Robertson, Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo

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Overview

This episode is classic “Duck Call Room”: meandering, Southern, and full of good-natured ribbing. The crew covers hilarious snack debates, Americana observations, World Cup fever, the strangeness of American-English, wild shirts and wilder feet, and shares laughter at Trump’s antics and the news media. Amidst it all, they touch on deeper life struggles, faith, and the importance of community, all with their trademark warmth and wit.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Buc-ee’s, Raisins, and Snack Debates (00:06–03:02)

• The gang opens up joking about trips to Buc-ee’s, favorite gas station snacks, and the mysterious appeal (or not) of chocolate-covered raisins. Sun-Maid raisins get roasted:

  • Jacob, on Sun-Maid boxes: “I'm a man with a type and the sun made raisin lady might have shaped my whole type.” (01:40)
  • Hunter: "That box started hatred for me...hatred of raisins." (02:05)
  • The group shares playful distaste for raisins but acknowledge the classic packaging.

2. Americana Fashion and “Semi-quincentennial” Debates (03:13–09:54)

• Si recounts a bizarre T-shirt seen in Alabama, setting off a round of laughs about regional clothing “Only in Alabama.”
• The hosts discuss “semi-quincentennial,” the government’s official name for America’s 250th birthday:
  • Jacob: “It's the semi quincentennial. You know how much I've been practicing saying that?” (06:54)
  • Si: “That is officially one of the dumbest things I've ever heard...it needs to be half. Right? Because quince is five.” (07:52)
  • The conversation dives into English’s weirdness, centennials/bicentenials, and affectionate teasing of Americans’ love for odd terminology.
  • Si, humorously: "If your semi quincentennial lasts for more than four hours, you should see a doctor." (08:38)

3. Food, Travel, and Foreigners Experiencing America (12:21–13:01, 39:15–44:14)

• Tales of eating in Boston (and their lack of air conditioning or seasonings) contrast with praise for American variety: “Pizza is for everyone. Praise God.” (12:24)
• The group riffs on British food, fish and chips, and confusion around UK/Britain references:
  • Allison, on the monarchy: "They got a king and he in charge of nothing." (13:25)
• Later, they fixate on European visitors discovering American food, especially a German man going viral for his tour of U.S. chain restaurants:
  • Jacob: “There's one particular guy...he had Waffle House at 1am -- went to Taco Bell at lunch, and then headed to Chili's...He's from Germany, and he's--I think he may stay. I think he was like, this is it.” (39:28)
  • The crew jokingly plans custom food itineraries for European tourists: Buc-ee’s, boudin, Shoney’s, Waffle House (41:03–42:11).

4. Trump’s Antics & News Media Weirdness (13:41–14:53, 24:55–27:03)

• The episode touches on Trump’s notorious “Pearl Harbor” remark to a Japanese official and his penchant for outrageous, oddly endearing insults:
  • Allison, recounting Trump: "Who would ever think of saying anything like that?" (14:28)
  • Si: "He told that old boy...I know you heard me. Those big, beautiful ears. I mean, that is such a..." (14:33)
• The hosts highlight the divergent ways the news media spins events, using Trump being both booed and cheered at the NBA Finals as example:
  • Jacob: “I watched a clip of everybody booing Donald Trump...Two seconds later, I saw a clip of everybody chanting USA...which one was it?” (26:49)
  • The news, they argue, “is there to just make you angry" (25:23), and advise unplugging.

5. Life, Health, and "Normal" American Habits (28:24–38:27)

• The crew discusses fishing injuries and Godwin’s feet (which become a running gag, including pedicures and the bizarre internet foot pic market).
  • Size: "Your feet are insane." (28:13)
  • Jokes about selling foot pics: “She took photos of her feet and got paid. She’s like, the weirdos want it...” (30:49)
• Discussion segues into “normal” American activities, like poop emergencies while fishing:
  • Size: “I pooped in the woods yesterday.” (34:37)
  • The group debates water versus woods as the better locale for outdoor emergencies, mentholated wipes, and general rural solutions.

6. World Cup Fever and American Soccer (22:31–23:54, 44:14–51:54)

• Soccer comes up repeatedly, from U.S. World Cup hopes to the confusion and humor Americans find in “the beautiful game”:
  • Jacob: "Ladies and gentlemen of the south and America, the world is looking at us for soccer and we're going to beat their butts. No, we're not. But I hope we do. Sorry, I got excited." (22:51)
  • Si: “Soccer is one I don’t really understand. I’d play on that lasso was my favorite version.” (50:29)
  • They plan hot dog cookouts for the U.S. vs. Paraguay match (44:14), joke about European heat tolerance, and poke fun at the seriousness of soccer in other cultures.
  • Goblin: “How come everybody just don’t go for the ball?” (50:55)

7. Reflections on Aging, Legacy, and Family (17:26–19:35, 47:11–48:56)

• The crew jokes about Si seeing “30% of American history” and making AI films about his life (17:26–18:35).
• Touching stories are shared about family history—Allison’s mother as a WWII riveter—and about inheriting grit and work ethic.

8. Health, Faith, and Living Through Hard Times (51:54–56:35)

• The show winds down with emotional talk about friends facing illness or loss, prayer requests, and how everyone “has a cross to bear.”
  • Size: “Thoughts and prayers for everybody… Just throw them up, lay them at the feet of Jesus, y’all. You know, we’re a praying bunch.” (54:07)
  • Jacob (quoting John 16:33): "In this world you will have trouble... But take heart. I have overcome the world." (55:31)
  • The segment closes with encouragement for listeners and appreciation for community.
  • Size: “Thank y’ all so much for listening to the duck call room...We love y’all. See y’all next time right here in the duck call room.” (56:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Raisins:
  "I'm a man with a type and the sun made raisin lady might have shaped my whole type.” – Jacob (01:40)

• On weird U.S. holiday terms:
  “That is officially one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.” – Si on ‘semi-quincentennial’ (07:52)

• On Trump’s gaffes:
  "He told that old boy...I know you heard me. Those big, beautiful ears. I mean, that is such a—" – Si (14:33)

• On American news:
  “The news is there to just make you mad. No matter what side of the table you're on.” – Jacob (25:25)

• On public feet photos:
  "She took photos of her feet and got paid. She’s like, the weirdos want it…she got to have a buffet on the water.” – Size (30:49)

• On being “normal”:
  “Every once in a while, like, I think I'm one of the weirdest human beings in the world. And then I actually turns out like, I'm just normal person.” – Jacob (32:41)

• On World Cup eats:
  “You know what we're going to do, Martin? ...Of course I am. This is America, son.” – Jacob (hot dog roasting for U.S. vs. Paraguay, 44:18)

• On hardship and faith:
  “In this world, you will have trouble...But take heart. I have overcome the world.” – Jacob/Jesus, John 16:33 (55:31)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Snack talk & Buc-ee’s: 00:06–03:02
• Quirky shirts & Americana: 02:28–05:50
• Semi-quincentennial debate: 06:54–09:54
• British, food, & monarchy jokes: 12:21–13:35
• Trump’s gaffes: 13:52–14:53
• Media outrage & Trump at NBA Finals: 24:55–27:07
• Fishing, feet, and “normalness”: 28:24–38:27
• European tourists' food adventures: 39:15–44:14
• World Cup/Soccer confusion & pride: 44:14–51:54
• Family history & legacy: 17:26–19:35
• Illness, loss, and faith: 51:54–56:35
• Biblical closing & encouragement: 55:31–56:35

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Tone & Style

The cast keeps up their signature blend of earnest, country wisdom, ridiculous humor, and a bit of gentle mischief. There’s lots of friendly roasting, conversational digressions, and stories full of heart. Their faith and warmth shine especially during the closing segment, offering listeners a reminder that “everybody is going through something” — but there’s always laughter and community.

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For listeners and newcomers alike, this episode is a quintessential slice of Duck Call Room life: silly, sincere, and sneakily profound.

Transcript

[Jacob]

Foreign.

[Hunter]

You like Bucky's?

[Allison]

I don't ever go.

[Size]

Oh no, he ain't never been in.

[Hunter]

You never been.

[Allison]

I don't ever go in the parking lot.

[Hunter]

So he just went in and bought him.

[Size]

Guys got people, Jacob. That's where you need to get to. That's the level. You got to get to people. He's got personal shoppers.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I don't think that's gonna ever happen for me.

[Size]

I like it. I like. I'm quasi one of size personal shoppers. It's. It's enjoyable. But I know what he likes. He doesn't change.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Size]

No new tricks over there.

[Hunter]

You like. What's your favorite snack from Bucky's?

[Allison]

Do you have the chocolate covered almonds?

[Hunter]

Yeah. Somebody was telling me about those cookie dough bites that they have in the refrigerator.

[Size]

I'm sure I don't.

[Hunter]

I don't just heard about them either, but. But they love them. They swear by them.

[Allison]

Raisins. Chocolate covered raisins.

[Size]

Yeah, I just like chocolate covered raisin dude.

[Allison]

What?

[Jacob]

That's terrible.

[Allison]

Oh, hey. Terrible. That's good.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Goblin]

Why?

[Size]

What? Why did raisins even get started?

[Hunter]

Yeah. What's that little brand that had the cardboard box or not cardboard, but like a little paper container when I was younger of raisins.

[Allison]

What's that?

[Size]

Oh, what are those? It's not the.

[Jacob]

Wait, what was the question?

[Size]

A little red box of raisins.

[Hunter]

It's like a.

[Size]

Like a small sun made.

[Allison]

Yeah.

[Size]

Is that it?

[Allison]

Yeah, I think that's it, son. It was small. It was a small box.

[Size]

Yeah, it's a little red.

[Hunter]

Yeah, it's a little box.

[Allison]

I'd always take the whole thing and use it.

[Size]

They still make it.

[Jacob]

I ain't eating no raisin.

[Size]

I just figured that is a good

[Jacob]

looking woman on that box wise figured

[Size]

they'd have to take her off.

[Jacob]

I'm a man with a type and the sun made raisin lady might have shaped my whole type.

[Size]

Did you eat a lot of raisins growing up?

[Jacob]

I remember the boxes. I don't like raisins.

[Allison]

Well, I love it.

[Size]

Kind of dresses just like Allison.

[Allison]

Hey, I could eat a case of what I'm saying.

[Size]

Lots of red, lots of white.

[Allison]

Because I used to take it.

[Jacob]

Do it like a true brown hair, fair skin.

[Allison]

I'd have the whole box in my mouth.

[Hunter]

That box started hatred for me.

[Size]

Hatred?

[Hunter]

Yeah, hatred of raisins.

[Jacob]

I don't like raisins.

[Size]

I don't like them either. I don't know how they ever.

[Hunter]

I'll Eat them in a trail mix. But I'm not like.

[Jacob]

But I'm telling you, that woman is gorgeous. On. I cannot pass that.

[Size]

I feel like.

[Allison]

Oh, with everything.

[Jacob]

The raisin lady was a good looking lady.

[Size]

I.

[Jacob]

They. They still make it, by the way.

[Hunter]

We're glad you are advocates for the sun made lady.

[Size]

You know, I went to Gunnersville, Alabama yesterday. I saw an interesting shirt up there that only the state of Alabama could provide.

[Jacob]

What? Hunter's grandpa wear it?

[Size]

Probably. I don't know if. Well, we'll see if Hunter cuts us out or not.

[Jacob]

Is it that bad?

[Size]

It's just. It's weird. There was a guy wearing a shirt at a gas station in between Guntersville and Scottsboro, Alabama. There's nothing there. But I had stopped. Gas station.

[Jacob]

Was he. It was for sale there.

[Size]

No, he was wearing it. This man had purchased this shirt and it was a native American on a horse. And underneath it it says, should have been a cowboy.

[Jacob]

Should have learned to rope.

[Size]

And could you see that shirt anywhere other than the state of Alabama?

[Jacob]

They would cancel you quickly.

[Allison]

Other places. Good.

[Hunter]

Mississippi, they'd wear that. Mississippi.

[Size]

Yeah. I just. I looked at the guy walking out of the deal and I said,

[Goblin]

I

[Size]

was walking in, take a leak. He was walking out. I said, hmm, that's a.

[Hunter]

That's a rage bait shirt.

[Size]

Yeah, that one. That one's one you make for clicks. I don't know if he made it himself on like, you know.

[Jacob]

Well, you know that guy that I used to have as a customer and we know he's not listening.

[Size]

Who? Hunter's grandpa?

[Jacob]

No, the guy that kept coming in with the world. Outrageous shirts.

[Size]

Oh, yeah. Don't. Don't bully me.

[Jacob]

Yeah. No, no, no. We can't go any further there. But I don't get people. Hunter, Stop laughing.

[Size]

Hunter, do you know the shirt?

[Jacob]

Yeah, Hunter's part of the group. Tech.

[Size]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

I have this one customer and he wears these obscene T shirts. I'm like, you can't wear that.

[Size]

Yeah, but he does. But he's deaf.

[Jacob]

That's also true.

[Size]

So I don't. But does that mean you can get away? Whatever. I wrote elevator this morning. And now, where was Meridian, Mississippi.

[Jacob]

Where does life got to be to be taking elevators in Meridian?

[Size]

Well, I had to spend the night last night. I couldn't make it home. I couldn't. I'm not who I used to be. At 1am I had to wave the white flag. I said, not, boys, I'm pulling over

[Jacob]

and going in Meridian.

[Size]

In Meridian. But there were There was two deaf couples on the elevator with me, which was very. Not really, but I kind of understood what they were saying because of trying to teach our kids sign language before they could talk. So I got a lot of it. I was like, huh. I could have asked them, you know, me still remembering for like a cup of water or something. But it wasn't a help known with the milk and all that stuff that we talked to boys back in the day. But it was. Yeah, why did you teach your. But they did not. Well, one of them had on a wild shirt, but it was just a Hawaiian shirt. It's like what Al used to wear when he was Big Al. Not. Not now that he's Skinny Al. I don't really see him in the Hawaiian garb anymore. He's got off the flower print.

[Jacob]

A short sleeve button up is a good gut hider. Not as good as a vest.

[Size]

No, that's a container.

[Jacob]

That's a container.

[Size]

That's a. That's a cincher down.

[Jacob]

Short sleeve button up is a big man's goto. I was a big man myself. I'm not.

[Size]

They're friendly. Yeah. Oh, I do.

[Jacob]

Hold on. Al's daughter's in here and she just called.

[Size]

Oh, yeah, I gotta wear. I don't think I've worn it on this podcast. I've worn it before, but I haven't worn on the podcast. The Gulf of America 1.

[Jacob]

You have a Gulf of America?

[Size]

Yeah. Walked up to me, he said, I have shrunk past this, but I figured you could appreciate it. And I said, you betcha. And it's just Golf of America all over it. Yeah, it's.

[Jacob]

That's ridiculous, Mark.

[Size]

Is it just like a map now? It just really celebrates Golf of America. It was. I feel like it was one of those Etsy shop deals.

[Hunter]

Teemu.

[Size]

Yeah. Whenever. Right when all that happened. And I feel like it may have been fan mail. I can't imagine Al actually purchasing that, but I would. It was. Oh, he bought it. Oh, okay, okay.

[Allison]

Oh, he bought it out.

[Size]

He's got shorts. Oh, I did. I did not know this was a suit.

[Jacob]

Could happen to Al was if he got like on Etsy or something. That sucker would buy some interesting clothes

[Size]

for a man who likes putting his name on his own forearm. I'm sure he'd put all kinds of monogram stuff.

[Jacob]

I got some new pants on the way. I can't tell you about them yet. I'll wear them as soon as they come in.

[Size]

Britches. Like full length britches. Oh, yeah, For America.

[Jacob]

They're awesome.

[Size]

The American flag britches.

[Jacob]

Don't worry.

[Size]

July 4th. Yeah, I know. You got.

[Jacob]

It's the semi quincentennial. You know how much I've been practicing saying that?

[Size]

You. The what? The semi coincidental semi quincentennial. What does that mean?

[Jacob]

It's our 250th birthday. America.

[Size]

Oh, yeah. What's a quincentennial? I don't know what a centennial is. A hundred. Right. So this would be 500. So it's.

[Jacob]

So it's a semi quincentennial.

[Hunter]

I don't know.

[Size]

Isn't every year in. Every year till you get to 500 a semi coincentennial?

[Jacob]

No, the semi quincentennial means 250.

[Hunter]

What language.

[Size]

Half quincentennial. Not a semi.

[Jacob]

You wanna. You wanna argue with the government? That's who named it.

[Size]

Yeah. I mean, I've got some. We've got some things.

[Allison]

Got some issues with it.

[Size]

He says, I got some things we could discuss.

[Allison]

All right.

[Jacob]

You didn't know that's what we're calling it?

[Size]

I had no idea.

[Jacob]

This July 4th is the semi quincentennial.

[Size]

That is officially one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. I don't understand why you. It can't be. It needs to be half. Right? Because quince is five. Right? Am I thinking about this right?

[Jacob]

I have no idea. It's the semi quint centennial. Why can't you just accept that that means 250?

[Size]

I think there's a better way to say 250.

[Allison]

I think so. I don't feel like. I don't like the word you're using.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Yeah, me neither.

[Allison]

50. Hey, true. 50. Just say 250.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

No, everybody's saying it.

[Allison]

I can't even say the words you're talking.

[Jacob]

You can't say semi coincidental.

[Hunter]

All right, give it a go.

[Allison]

No. Okay.

[Hunter]

Sound it out.

[Size]

I mean, semi quincentennial sounds like a medical condition, and it is. Like if you have semi medical condition

[Jacob]

for whooping Britain's butt. 250 years.

[Size]

Like if you. If your semi quincentennial lasts for more than four hours, you should see a doctor. Like, I feel like that's where we're

[Jacob]

at with if you have a semi coincidental, it lasts for 250 years. Not for.

[Size]

That's a problem.

[Hunter]

If you go.

[Size]

Right.

[Allison]

Trouble.

[Hunter]

It's kind of like going septic.

[Size]

I made you.

[Allison]

It's easier just to say 250.

[Size]

Yeah, yeah. I don't understand. Why did. Why do we have to call it something other than this? 250.

[Jacob]

Yeah, but you remember in 1970, you remember in 1976, right about to say.

[Size]

No, I do not.

[Allison]

When it was the bicycle, 1776. You weren't there for 1970. Sex domain, nothing.

[Jacob]

But you were there when it was America's 200th birthday. Do you remember them calling it.

[Allison]

That's what they called it.

[Size]

Well, bicentennial makes sense because it's two centennials.

[Jacob]

I'm just telling you what we as a people.

[Size]

A semi truck. A semi truck is not a half a truck. It's a whole truck. Yeah.

[Jacob]

Maybe you would like the bicycle. Ooh. This one's harder to say. See, that's why we're going with semi quincentennial. Because it's fun to say. And it's better than centennial or sester. Centennial or the quarter millennium.

[Hunter]

That's.

[Allison]

Wow. Nothing is 250 years old, for crying out loud.

[Hunter]

Yeah, English.

[Allison]

English.

[Jacob]

That is English.

[Allison]

That's why we kick Britain, but so we could speak English.

[Size]

Yeah. You know what? Britain made these kind of words. And we said no more. I'm just telling you, we're gonna start eating.

[Hunter]

Yeah, we're speaking English over here.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Throwing tea into the harbor.

[Allison]

Making it as simple as it can be.

[Size]

Spring is rolling on into summer. We're out there in the garden. I've been watering my cucumbers every evening. You know what makes it so easy? The pocket hose. Whenever I turn the water off, it goes and sucks back up. Whenever I want it on, turn it on. I can water my cucumbers. I'm not dragging 200 foot of hose from my spigot over there to the cucumbers or to the trees. That's why I'm excited to tell you about the world's number one expanding garden hose and their brand new product, the pocket hose ballistic. Pocket hose ballistic is a lightweight anti burst hose that's easy to manage and easy to store. Just turn the water on, it grows, turn the water off, it shrinks back to pocket size. The hose is reinforced with the same material used in bulletproof vest. And the fibers it's made with are actually five times stronger than steel. So it's definitely made to last. Plus it's an upgraded UV coating, keeps it looking new year after year. And it comes with a pocket pivot giving you 360 degree rotation at the spigot. It's total freedom. You move, it follows. Pocket hose has changed the game for me. I love this thing. Super durable, lightweight, and makes yard work a breeze. And now, for a limited time, when you purchase a new pocket hose ballistic, you'll get a free 360 degree rotating pocket pivot and. And a free thumb drive nozzle. Just text dark to 64,000. That's dark to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase. Dark to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply.

[Jacob]

I would like to be a part of the Boston Tea Party.

[Size]

I wouldn't.

[Allison]

I wouldn't need to waste all that tea.

[Size]

I'll forget that they didn't have air conditioning. I mean, there's a lot of things they didn't have up there. And in Boston, they didn't have heat. They're in a far.

[Hunter]

You know, it was cold.

[Size]

You know, it was cold.

[Allison]

Boston, I didn't have any sense either.

[Size]

Yeah. And last time I went there, it's like, I didn't have no salt or pepper either.

[Allison]

Yeah.

[Size]

I said so. You know, they must have thrown that in there with the tea.

[Hunter]

I had some good pizza in Boston.

[Size]

Pizza.

[Jacob]

Pizza is for everyone.

[Size]

Praise God.

[Allison]

That was probably a smart move on your part.

[Hunter]

It was good. We went to a Red Sox game, and then we went there. It's pretty good Red.

[Allison]

So that was. That was a good move on your part.

[Size]

Y' all went full blown tourists.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Size]

Mm.

[Allison]

That's like. You don't ever want to go to Britain. If you're in Germany.

[Jacob]

How would.

[Size]

Yeah, yeah.

[Allison]

If you're in Germany, you gotta eat.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Allison]

Okay. So, hey, stay in Germany. The food there is real good.

[Jacob]

Hold on. England got a fish and chips down, though.

[Size]

Yeah. They can cook. They can cook at Ocean Whitefish.

[Hunter]

Define Britain. Like, where are we talking about?

[Jacob]

Well, there's too many countries in there.

[Hunter]

That's how I was about to say.

[Jacob]

No idea what it even means.

[Hunter]

I just say, what are we talking about?

[Jacob]

I don't know who of it. I don't know.

[Allison]

Uk? No, you're in Britain.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah, because they're all on the same team in the Olympics, but when the World cup starts, they got their own team. I don't know. And they got a king.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

He ain't even in charge of nothing. It's very confusing.

[Allison]

That's the cool part.

[Jacob]

What?

[Allison]

They got a king and he in charge of nothing.

[Jacob]

Did you imagine that job, though? Who are you, the king? What do you do? Shake hands.

[Allison]

And he's very good at it.

[Jacob]

Is he?

[Allison]

Yeah.

[Size]

What?

[Hunter]

He did. What?

[Allison]

He's an entertainer.

[Size]

Is it a king now?

[Allison]

He's A real good speaker, wasn't it like King Charles. King Charles III was just over here. Yeah, he's an entertainer and a great speaker.

[Jacob]

Donald Trump had him up on the stage and said something outrageous that made me laugh, and then I forgot what it was.

[Allison]

Oh, no. The best one Trump ever pulled. Is he having a meeting with somebody? Oh, yes, Japan. And he asked, the guy said, hey, y' all like surprises? Why didn't you tell us about Pearl Harbor?

[Jacob]

They were. They were busting on him for not telling him about starting a war. He said, hey, hold on. You didn't tell us about Pearl Harbor.

[Allison]

He said, hey, why didn't you tell us about Pearl Harbor? And it was a Japanese lady behind him. Praise God, her eyes. It was. It was priceless.

[Goblin]

Praise God.

[Allison]

He's a fine person. Leave it to Trump. Who would ever think of saying anything like that?

[Size]

Well, he told that old boy sitting in there with him said, I know you heard me. Those big, beautiful ears. I mean, that is such a. Yeah.

[Jacob]

He looked right here with his Dr.

[Allison]

Spock, I know you.

[Size]

I know you heard me. Those big beautiful ears. I was like, he did not really just say, yeah, he did. He called. He made fun of his ears, but he called him beautiful. So is that okay?

[Allison]

Look like Dr. Spock on Star Trek.

[Jacob]

We didn't call him Dr. Spock. That would be rude. That man's runs NASA, for crying out loud.

[Allison]

Well, I just tell you, your boy's got big ears.

[Jacob]

I bet.

[Size]

Beautiful ears.

[Jacob]

Guy calls it a semi quincentennial.

[Allison]

Yeah, they're beautiful.

[Size]

Well, he heard it.

[Jacob]

I'm not getting off of it. I will say the word semi coincentennial on every episode of this from now

[Allison]

until the fifth wheel in here.

[Jacob]

We got it. Oh, it hurt.

[Size]

It hurt him so bad. He got that semi quincentennial. Gave him emphysema. Look at there.

[Jacob]

All right, I gotta go back to this because you don't believe me.

[Size]

About what?

[Jacob]

That. That's the name of it.

[Size]

I. You can go that. It's.

[Jacob]

Semi means half in Latin.

[Hunter]

In Latin. And this quincentennial mean 500.

[Jacob]

Quinn means five. Well, that's five.

[Size]

Yeah. I mean, but a semi truck's not half a truck.

[Allison]

That's right. You're saying you're giving us a falsehood.

[Size]

We get to pick and choose on which route of semi we use. I don't like that. We need to stay. We need to stay consistent.

[Jacob]

We spell whole three different ways that it means 14 different words. I mean, try, try and try and really Break down English and you're going to feel weird.

[Size]

Yeah, we don't have the best system. It's a weird system, but we do make it our own, that's for sure.

[Jacob]

A semi truck is not one single vehicle, but rather a combination of two distinct units that can bend and pivot. Okay, so that semi truck, that throws

[Allison]

your theory out right there.

[Jacob]

It's two. It has to be two parts.

[Size]

It's saying half truck, half trailer.

[Jacob]

Yep, two pieces.

[Allison]

Oh, you call as much of halves, huh?

[Size]

Well, then why did we ever learn half? Why not? When we were learning fraction, why didn't we just say semi instead of 1/2? Seemed like it had been a lot easier.

[Goblin]

I don't know.

[Size]

This is dumb. Let's call it 250. You know what's shorter than semi? Quincentennial.

[Allison]

All the other standards.

[Jacob]

But how much fun is it to

[Size]

say I do like quarter. Quarter millennium better? It just sounds more intimidating. It's the quarter millennium.

[Jacob]

We're a pretty young country. When you think about it.

[Size]

Pretty dumb, too. Like, it is young and dumb.

[Allison]

It's a period of 250 years. Get off of this half and get off of this centennial and give me off of all that other crap. Okay. You're talking about 250 years.

[Goblin]

Boom.

[Size]

Size. Been part of it for 78 of them.

[Jacob]

That is crazy. Let's do the math.

[Hunter]

78 divided by 50.

[Allison]

Well, hey, now you're going down. I wasn't very good in school.

[Jacob]

Sigh. You have been around for 31 of America.

[Size]

America, baby.

[Jacob]

You are a third of America. I'm a third of them the entire history.

[Allison]

You just said things right there. You didn't go off all fancy. Yeah, you told it like it was a third.

[Size]

A third.

[Hunter]

And when people ask how old he is, he doesn't say a third of America.

[Allison]

I'm a third of America.

[Jacob]

You should. That sounds great. When I was 35, I'm 31.8. I was halfway to 7.

[Hunter]

America lifespan.

[Allison]

Oh, then you get in the math. I ain't very good.

[Size]

That's fun.

[Allison]

I will screw that up.

[Size]

That is crazy. To think size seen 30% of this and arguably like the biggest changes. 30% side.

[Jacob]

Do you remember when they invented cars?

[Allison]

Yeah.

[Size]

They already had them.

[Hunter]

Were you friends with Henry?

[Allison]

Henry?

[Size]

We called him Hank, but.

[Jacob]

And it was a model T. That is actually wild.

[Allison]

What did I know that.

[Jacob]

No, that. No, we should. We should get AI a third of America size. Live through it.

[Hunter]

So all the times like we've had like the industrial revolution, that's why this

[Allison]

is for all the youngsters. If you know old people like me, you should learn to spend time with you. And let me give you some jewels that I know about.

[Size]

Even better. Even better.

[Allison]

I get paid to do it, don't I?

[Size]

But that's awesome.

[Jacob]

We love you.

[Size]

Heck yeah.

[Hunter]

How funny would it be? So, you know, like, those videos have been viral. It's like, what was your dad like in the 90s? Or whatever? And it like goes back. How funny would be the AI Sigh and like in all the Industrial Revolution or all the wars and it just like throws sign to a mix of that time period.

[Jacob]

I was like, yeah, I was around during this time.

[Allison]

I asked my mother stuff like that because my mom was a riveter on a B52 bomber.

[Jacob]

Rosie.

[Allison]

This is a lady that when her husband joined the war, World War II, joined the Navy, she left Louisiana, and every time she'd get on a bus, she'd grab a sailor or a Marine or everybody in the Air Force, somebody that was in a uniform and tell them, hey, you're my. You're my husband. Until I get off the next station and went to California to be with my father.

[Size]

Where did she. She riveted. Where? Memphis. Is that right?

[Allison]

I don't know. It was in California somewhere.

[Size]

That's where they were riveting them.

[Allison]

Yeah.

[Size]

Okay.

[Allison]

Yeah. Because she went up there to be with him. You know, they had just been married and I think. I think they had Jimmy Frank, one child. She left him with her brother. And what her mother said, where are you going? So I'm going to California.

[Jacob]

Do you think that's where you got your love of riveting duck calls reads? What do you think that's where you've got your love of riveting duck call reads?

[Allison]

No, not really.

[Jacob]

Did you?

[Allison]

It could be. Hey, who knows?

[Jacob]

Just riveters. It's a family of riveters.

[Allison]

Well, hey,

[Size]

look, you've been wondering what to get dad for Father's Day. Look no further. Poncho Outdoors. The best shirts. I mean, they are so comfortable. And you know the coolest part about them, to me, you can get a set of them to match your kids. So if mom, if you're listening to this and you want the full dad and kids photo in poncho shirts, they do it. They got it all sizes. They don't just make them for grownups, they make them for little boys too. I know because my boys have them.

[Jacob]

My boys have them. I got a great picture of my boys and their uncle in a poncho shirt whenever we were floating.

[Size]

The buffalo poncho is a men's outdoor performance shirt that doesn't look like one. Fish in it. Hunt in it, wear it straight to dinner. You'll be looking sharp all day. The fit is dialed in. They're lightweight, they're breathable, they're quick drying, and they come with built in UPF 50 plus look. Some poncho shirts even have extras like a hidden zipper pocket, sunglasses holder and built in lens cloth. Father's day is coming and it's the perfect gift for the dad who says he doesn't need anything. Try one and you'll end up ordering more, I guarantee you.

[Jacob]

My sunglasses always dirty because I'm always wearing a different pair and then boom, they're clean when I'm wearing my poncho.

[Size]

Father's day is almost here. Go to ponchooutdoors.com and enter your email to get $10 off and free shipping on your first order. That's P O N C H O outdoors dot com. Head there, drop in your email and get $10 off and free shipping. And once you try one, you'll get why we've got closets full of them.

[Jacob]

Y' all ever get dressed up in all your soccer stuff to tell sa about the World cup and then he apparently found out and just no shows on you. What are we going to do?

[Size]

Who are you talking to? Oh, hey. Start the episode. Hunter. That was a good intro.

[Jacob]

Starts.

[Size]

I didn't know.

[Goblin]

Bad thought.

[Size]

I didn't know. God, when you ever worn anything like what Johnny D's wearing?

[Jacob]

Ladies and gentlemen of the south and America, the world is looking at us for soccer and we're going to beat their butts. No, we're not. But I hope we do. Sorry, I got excited.

[Size]

World cup, right? It it kicks off. I need to.

[Jacob]

World cup is here.

[Size]

I need to go watch Ted La

[Jacob]

Queen quincentennial of America. Say it. Say it.

[Size]

We're about to be 250.

[Goblin]

250.

[Size]

250.

[Jacob]

Our semi quincentine.

[Goblin]

I used to weigh 250.

[Size]

I did too.

[Goblin]

Not anymore.

[Jacob]

I'm headed back that direction. I might have to get with you on a plan for all this inflammation I got going on when I put this soccer.

[Goblin]

Let me tell you.

[Size]

Yeah. Size. Not here, y'. All. He didn't bet. I just think he's asleep. Which is.

[Goblin]

He is asleep.

[Size]

Good for him, man.

[Jacob]

Did we ever confirm where he is? Hunter?

[Goblin]

He's over.

[Size]

Yeah, he's home. Just sitting there.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Goblin]

Just laughing at us.

[Size]

Just sitting there.

[Goblin]

He's saying, what is that? Bars?

[Size]

No, I tell you what he's doing. He got that white T shirt on with 17 stains. He's sitting there watching Fox News, getting pissed off now. So that's what he's doing right now.

[Goblin]

He's not watching. He's watching.

[Jacob]

All right. Can we talk about it since he's not here?

[Allison]

What?

[Jacob]

I love this great country. Clearly. Look at my wardrobe. I like our soccer team. I like our basketball team.

[Size]

I love our air conditioning.

[Goblin]

I love everything special. What then? That wardrobe.

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah. I had. I had these shoes, but I got me some new. What are those shoelaces to?

[Size]

I almost bought a USA team shirt. Academy, they're hosting, you know, like, in Houston. So Academy's, like, helping all them people out. They did. I saw they did, like a soccer clinic with.

[Jacob]

You might have heard of them.

[Size]

Messy.

[Jacob]

Rumor has it Messi.

[Size]

Is that right?

[Jacob]

Was in Buc Ees in Alabama today eating a brisket sandwich. I would pay money to see a photo. I don't know if it really happened or not.

[Goblin]

He chose wisely.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

As long as he got sliced and not chopped.

[Goblin]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

Excellent point. Anyway.

[Goblin]

And put some at sauce on it.

[Jacob]

I think we need to do something as a group for our dear leader, and we need to take his dish off the top of his house and throw it as far as we possibly can and break it because he needs to stop watching the news.

[Size]

Yeah, yeah. He just shows up angry all the time.

[Goblin]

I can't believe he ain't watching. This must be recently because he used to watch that LPB all time.

[Size]

Yeah. I don't think he's got public broadcasting.

[Jacob]

No, he's. He's exclusively on the news. News is there to just make you mad. No matter what side of the table you're on, they're going to get you enthralled by how crazy the other side is.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And then you're just going to be upset.

[Goblin]

Tell me the knee. You ain't got to spend it. Everybody, both sides spin it.

[Jacob]

Both sides spin it.

[Goblin]

Just tears me up. Why? Like the other side.

[Size]

There you go.

[Jacob]

But do you think. You think we should take size dish and throw it?

[Size]

I think the man's approaching 80 years old, so he's earned to have whatever he wants to have.

[Goblin]

I think I ought to have two dish.

[Size]

He's just. He used to be a lot chippier when he'd walk in here. Now he's gonna. You what y' all don't see. When we record this podcast is the first 12 minutes where we let him vent about whatever has got him. Got stuck in his crawl.

[Goblin]

He gets all riled up.

[Size]

Yeah. It gets. He just gets right. And I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you ready, sir? Oh, yeah, I'm good.

[Jacob]

And then he gets happy.

[Size]

Yeah. We're his sounding board. We.

[Jacob]

I just think the news is bad.

[Size]

Yeah. It's not good. It's. I mean, that's because.

[Goblin]

Controversy, sales. So it all. It's all controversial.

[Size]

What's crazy is it's only selling now to a part of the population because the rest of us have figured out just don't watch that mess.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Well, here's what's crazy. Last night when they had the NBA Finals, Donald Trump was there.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I watched a clip of everybody booing Donald Trump at the NBA Finals.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Two seconds later, I saw a clip of everybody chanting USA because Donald Trump was at the NBA Finals. And I'm like, I can't. Which one was it?

[Size]

Yeah, both.

[Jacob]

Both or. But why am I seeing one and not? And it's crazy.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Size]

The spurs fans were down in usa and the Knicks fans were the ones boo, most likely.

[Jacob]

Who knows? I've never met a Knicks fan in person, so. So it's hard to say.

[Size]

I'm just glad. I mean, it's cool that the Knicks are back because they were a team of our childhood and then they just went away. Like you. You forget that they even played basketball.

[Jacob]

I didn't even know they were still a team. I thought they moved to Las Vegas.

[Goblin]

Fishing's dangerous.

[Allison]

What?

[Goblin]

Fishing is dangerous.

[Jacob]

What'd you do?

[Goblin]

Look at my hands. I'm talking about Nick and stuff.

[Jacob]

Look at so many fish.

[Size]

Look, look, his hands are. No, fishing ain't dangerous. Catching is.

[Goblin]

Those fins all in my hand where they just muster up and pop out.

[Size]

Won't you scrap them by the mouth like.

[Goblin]

I ain't, but I dig. But when they fall on top of your feet and stuff.

[Size]

By the way, I'm going to post a clip of Goblin's feet on my social media.

[Jacob]

It's going to go wild.

[Size]

You're going to need to see it. You would not be able to appreciate it from this distance of what this camera is from.

[Jacob]

His feet, it's. His feet are insane.

[Size]

It's impressive. But do you. Yeah. You just don't stay inside anymore. Huh? Now you're outside pretty much every day.

[Goblin]

Fish every day, except for Sunday, every other Saturday till the fall. Then Ms. Paula gets in that deer stand. So fishing that.

[Size]

And to that I say, God bless America. Only place in the world you could do that. What, just fish every day?

[Goblin]

Well, it's my job now.

[Size]

That's what I'm talking about. That's where you can make a living. It's a country you can make a living. Fish in every day if you want to. That's not commercial fish. Are you not running nets and none of that stuff.

[Jacob]

You imagine that German fella that's enthralled by Chili's looking at us right now, wondering how we're doing, what we do?

[Size]

Mm. Yeah, them feet are wild.

[Jacob]

Crazy one's feet.

[Size]

He kind of like. You went and got a pedicure recently, didn't you?

[Goblin]

Yesterday.

[Size]

Yeah, I noticed. All them toes were squared, man. Every one of them squared off, was rubbing.

[Goblin]

She said spray tan.

[Size]

I said, no spray tan.

[Jacob]

She thought you spray tanned over your flip.

[Goblin]

She was rubbing my foot there, trying to wipe it off.

[Size]

Well, in her defense, it does not look real, which is why I videoed them.

[Jacob]

Your feet are. Your feet are.

[Goblin]

That is from a. I mean, when.

[Size]

Now, when you get that close to them, they look a little gross.

[Jacob]

I hate people. Put some socks on, please.

[Goblin]

Is that a bruise?

[Jacob]

He just said, is that a bruise?

[Size]

I don't know. Did you kick?

[Goblin]

Well, I dropped a fish on. He slipped out.

[Jacob]

How big was the fish to bruise you?

[Goblin]

Two pounder.

[Size]

Yeah, leave them down there. They look way more impressive down there. You got them up by me. I ain't. I ain't like that too much.

[Jacob]

Nobody likes that, Martin. Nobody wants another man's feet next to him.

[Goblin]

That's why I just waited in the lake to clean.

[Size]

There's a whole. There's a whole website dedicated to. People won't feed around them, buddy.

[Jacob]

No, I don't.

[Size]

Hey, in the words of Hunter, you got to match your freak.

[Jacob]

Of all the sin.

[Size]

Remember that one, Hunter.

[Jacob]

Of all the sinful temptations there are in life. A foot website doesn't even go on my radar.

[Size]

If anybody tells you I was on the dark web looking at feet pics, let me tell you something, they got the wrong fellow.

[Jacob]

Unless it was like, I don't like my own. So. One of my best friend's wife paid

[Size]

for a cruise trip doing that. Look at her feet.

[Goblin]

Looking at people's feet.

[Size]

She took photos of her feet and got paid. She's like, the weirdos want it. You know, she got Amy and she got to go have a buffet on the water. Yeah.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Size]

For a week, I wasn't naked or anything. So it seemed okay.

[Goblin]

What? You have socks on.

[Size]

That's why she, like, holy in America now, unfortunately, I think that goes. I think that goes worldwide.

[Jacob]

I think that they want you to do weird stuff.

[Size]

They want you, like, dip your toes

[Jacob]

and ketchup and all that.

[Size]

Or like, write. Write their name. God, do you not want to fish so much? I think I got you a side gig.

[Jacob]

I'd rather be broke living under a bridge.

[Size]

Than selling your feet, than looking at feet. Oh, yeah, you ain't got to look at them. I think the selling is the side of that market you want to be.

[Goblin]

What about hands? What's wrong with looking at somebody's hands? Of course mine's all beat up.

[Size]

Calvin Dangerous Galvan being this close to you, seeing your hands and your feet.

[Jacob]

Nobody paying for that, brother.

[Size]

No, there's somebody. Who's that? That is. But I think your feet are in better shape than your hands, friend.

[Jacob]

I would pay those people to put on socks and never show their feet again.

[Size]

It don't matter because you paid them. You say. You say, where we're at here, this

[Jacob]

is an evil industry.

[Goblin]

That's kind of crazy.

[Jacob]

I just. There's a Bible verse about this.

[Size]

About feet.

[Jacob]

No Inventing ways of doing.

[Size]

Oh, yeah, they invented Romans 1.

[Allison]

Yeah, it's.

[Jacob]

That's disturbing. That's on the Internet. That's sad.

[Size]

Yeah, it is. I thought it was fake. I thought when people were making those jokes, like, there's no way. This is not Israel. It's real.

[Goblin]

Oh, I believe it.

[Jacob]

Every once in a while, like, I think I'm one of the weirdest human beings in the world. And then I actually turns out like, I'm just normal person.

[Goblin]

Yep, normal.

[Jacob]

Y' all have been with us for a long time. You've been watching this podcast for a while. If you have, you know about the daily health drink known as AG1. And look, we're not fitness gurus. We're not fitness experts. We're just regular guys trying to figure out how to stay healthy. And sometimes the quick and easiest way is AG1. Phillips got a travel pack right now. Going to hit him with one. He's got a water bottle. He'll probably be done with it by the time this ads over. Because AG1 is that simple. AG1 is a daily health drink with a multivitamin pre and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants. And just one scoop in eight ounces of water will do you.

[Size]

Or one pack. One pack.

[Jacob]

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[Goblin]

It's really good.

[Size]

No, it's. No, it's very good. It's very good. It is very good.

[Jacob]

So visit drinkag1.comduck to get a free morning person hat and free AG1 flavor sampler in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription. That's an $82 value. That's drink ag1.comduck.

[Goblin]

We was wondering about who we thought was normal.

[Jacob]

We're normal.

[Goblin]

We're normal.

[Jacob]

I think that's it. We're the normal ones.

[Goblin]

We're the normal ones, are we?

[Allison]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Sir, what you've told me in the last five minutes.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Means we're very normal.

[Size]

I like, I pooped in the woods yesterday.

[Jacob]

It's more normal. Take a picture of it. No normal.

[Size]

But it was impressive picture. It was. No, I did not normal.

[Jacob]

Then you're normal. It gets weird when you start taking

[Size]

pictures, but if somebody stumbles across that, they're gonna be like, that cat was been a buying jack.

[Goblin]

They gonna thank very normal fire.

[Size]

Yeah. They say oof. He had to get rid of that.

[Goblin]

It was fixing a really big.

[Size]

I was just about to back my boat in too.

[Goblin]

Really?

[Size]

I said, no, I can't. I can't go fishing like this.

[Jacob]

That's a. That's a terrible. Yeah, I would have went in the

[Size]

water or just in the woods. Really? Yeah.

[Jacob]

You prefer woods over water to poop?

[Size]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jacob]

I'm a water man. Seems cleaner.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Goblin]

But you can't get away from.

[Size]

That's what I'm talking about. Every time you. You comes to you, it's like it's got. It's like you got a leash on it. You're like, get away from me, bro. I mean, I guess if you got downwind enough and there was enough wave action, maybe. I don't know. I just. But it's a lot easier. Just go a little current. Just go poop in the woods, man.

[Goblin]

Yeah. Get rid of it. Get out.

[Jacob]

And that's what makes us normal.

[Size]

Yeah. Like. But if that farmer sees that working his corn crop because it was right next to. He's gonna be like, you didn't even

[Jacob]

do that on your Own property. No pooping on a farmer's corn.

[Size]

No, not on the corn. Next Adjacent. Corn adjacent. In the woods. Yeah, I had to go.

[Goblin]

What do you think he wiped with?

[Size]

Dude wipes. Thank you. Mint chill. Get that cooling sensation.

[Jacob]

I don't know what we're doing here. This is nutty.

[Size]

Hey.

[Jacob]

No. We are normal.

[Size]

Stay away. Stay away from them. Straight menthol. Dude wipes, though. That is not. That is not okay. Iron there.

[Jacob]

There are several cigarettes.

[Size]

No wipes there. It says. It says it will make you tingle. And they hit the nail on the head with that. There's lots of videos on Tik Tok on people just like me that have bought this because I thought maybe I was the only one. No, it. It should have come with a very much stronger warning label because that's not. That area is not supposed to feel like that. No chance. But I guess that same thing side does when he put Ben Gay on his hemorrhoids. I don't know.

[Jacob]

It's. It's not BenGay. Is.

[Size]

Wasn't it Bengue?

[Jacob]

Vicks Vapor Rub.

[Size]

Yeah. All menthol time. All heavy menthol components.

[Jacob]

And they didn't even smoke menthols, which is the craziest part.

[Size]

Yeah. No. Loves menthol. Want to breathe it in?

[Jacob]

Heaven forbid we smoke it.

[Size]

Yeah. Put that on the other end of you. It don't.

[Jacob]

When was the last time you ran?

[Goblin]

I ran the other day. I sure did. What you do was nobody chasing me either.

[Allison]

What did you do?

[Jacob]

Just run?

[Goblin]

Well, you know, I'm in that arm slanging club where you walk and I run up the heels.

[Jacob]

There you go.

[Size]

Oh, yeah. Walk the flats, run the heels.

[Jacob]

You're just out there running for exercise. Yeah. You know the personal growth that has happened in this podcast over the guarantee

[Size]

I've come out there and jog with you. Godwin.

[Goblin]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

I guarantee you.

[Size]

Yeah, yeah. Roseland. Yeah.

[Goblin]

Four rounds.

[Size]

There you go.

[Goblin]

Four rounds.

[Jacob]

And y' all just walk through the whole cemetery now.

[Goblin]

We. We cut through Bramley's, then we come down there right by the pond.

[Jacob]

Bramley's still alive for though. That's just a neighbor.

[Goblin]

And we'll go up the hill and then we make four leaps and on the fourth loop, then you go down by the crosses and make another loop and then you go out. That's. That's three miles almost right at four miles.

[Size]

There you go.

[Allison]

There you go.

[Jacob]

There's a lot of people that walk in cemeteries. Really cool. If Jesus were to come back right when you Were walking there.

[Size]

Unless you got left behind running. Unless all the dead rose and you're standing there saying, oh,

[Jacob]

trials and tribulations are here.

[Size]

Yeah. Even though that would be tough.

[Jacob]

That would be talking about.

[Goblin]

Talking about today, dad. You hear the coroner died. He still went to work.

[Jacob]

I know the corner. You scared me.

[Size]

Our corner.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Goblin]

I didn't say he's my buddy. I didn't say it's the guy that

[Jacob]

got us through Covid.

[Goblin]

In general. In general.

[Size]

He's the guy came out here and swept that old boy up off a train track that day.

[Jacob]

Like, oh, come on, man.

[Size]

Well, I mean, that's what his term, not mine.

[Jacob]

That's got to be a better way to say that. Anyway, if you're.

[Size]

I think when man meets train, there's only one.

[Goblin]

Yeah. The bigness of it.

[Size]

I think you're left with a broom and a mop, and that's about it.

[Jacob]

But have you seen the Europeans are descending upon our country.

[Size]

Oh, that's good.

[Jacob]

It's.

[Goblin]

I know.

[Size]

They love us.

[Jacob]

Well, that. No. But they're learning our culture and our ways.

[Size]

Oh, they're. They're about to all go back to Europe fat.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

That's what's about to happen.

[Jacob]

There's one particular guy, he had Waffle House at 1am Went to Taco Bell at lunch, and then headed on over to the Chili's Bar and Grill for dinner. And he's from Germany, and he's have. He's. I think he may stay. I think he was like, this is

[Size]

what I think he's going to.

[Goblin]

Anybody Scotland comes over here, they'll stay.

[Jacob]

I don't. I don't.

[Size]

If. Empower rascals that ever. Yeah. Scotland, all that area that think they know what sausage and stuff in a casing is, if they ever end up down south and figure out what boudin is and taste it.

[Jacob]

They're never leaving.

[Size]

And those be. Hey, if you're near.

[Goblin]

Not never, they'll be live.

[Jacob]

We have our.

[Size]

I was going to say if you're here from a foreign country, but you're not listening to us.

[Jacob]

That's not true.

[Size]

Well, we have a few.

[Jacob]

Andrew. Andrew. Our friend Andrew that's been in here just had a baby and he wore a honey hole hat in the maternity photos.

[Size]

Andrew checks out. I'm saying most soccer fans aren't listening.

[Jacob]

Ireland.

[Goblin]

Ireland.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

But if you do, there's a best stop.

[Allison]

Oh, man.

[Size]

Now in Houston, which is a host city. So if you're in the United States and your team is In Houston. And you're going to the game. Look up a place. Gonna translate this. I'm sure you don't speak a lot of English. Our language is kind of complicated. Look up a place called the Best Stop and go get you some boudin and take it home with you. It is the exact opposite of a garbage. It is so good.

[Jacob]

But the German guy who's going viral for, you know, going to Chili's.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And having his mind blown. He's. He posted his map. He's headed to Houston from Chattanooga.

[Size]

Do we get to, like, drop pins on places? He should.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

Yes. Okay. So when he gets to Interstate 10.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

He needs to get used to getting off the interstate because there's a. There's a whole corridor right there.

[Jacob]

The route he's taken is all the way to Mo. No, not. It's not Mobile. Where is that?

[Size]

Ask a Goula or something.

[Jacob]

He's going to New Orleans. Hooking up. Hooking up. It into.

[Size]

Buddy, that next 150 miles could change your life.

[Goblin]

Oh, yeah.

[Size]

That is one fine food corridor right there, buddy.

[Goblin]

He'll probably move in down there.

[Size]

He should. He's going to end up leaving here looking like a link of boudin.

[Goblin]

Oh, yeah.

[Size]

Just all swollen.

[Jacob]

I'm worried about his uniform.

[Goblin]

He's got to buy two airplane seats.

[Jacob]

Wait. He literally just posted that. He has made it to Alabama.

[Size]

Alabama. Got some good stuff. If you go to Clanton, Alabama. I understand. I just saw it. They still have a Shoney's overnight there. Wake up. Have your breakfast buffet.

[Goblin]

There you go.

[Jacob]

I just. I cannot wait for these Europeans to experience Buc EE's. I can't wait because that's coming.

[Size]

I can't wait for these Europeans to experience ice.

[Goblin]

Oh, yeah. They won't give you ass over.

[Jacob]

No.

[Size]

We got ice machines. Y'. All. Wait.

[Jacob]

And meanwhile, the England teams in Florida. And they're all about to. They're all. They're about to just ship them back.

[Size]

Well, they're about to have some really good fish and chips.

[Jacob]

No, they're not, because they can't. They. England can't function if it gets above 75 degrees.

[Size]

Bless their heart.

[Jacob]

Have you ever seen, like, their extreme heat warnings?

[Size]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Then you got to do the math to get into Fahrenheit.

[Size]

It's lame. Yeah, they're lame.

[Jacob]

They can't handle the heat.

[Size]

Me and Galvin went over well for Duck Dynasty.

[Goblin]

Oh.

[Size]

In August. And we were buying jackets and they were. They were running around in shorts and T shirts. And I'm like, what in the world?

[Goblin]

Yeah, well, I used it well, and

[Size]

we got used to it by the end of it. But the first couple of days was cold. We slid up. Now that we slid up, my first hotel, like, 45. And we were like, where's the air conditioner? Because you just need to run an air conditioner to, like, pull the humidity out of a room. And people at the hotel were like, yeah, we ain't got them.

[Goblin]

No.

[Size]

No air conditioning window, literally.

[Jacob]

Last month, the UK issued a heat wave warning to its citizens. Temperatures reached 30. 30 degrees Celsius. I don't even know what that is.

[Size]

By nine fifths, right? Is that right?

[Goblin]

Nine fifths.

[Jacob]

That's only 86 degrees.

[Goblin]

Nine fifths plus only it's 86 when we get up.

[Jacob]

That's what. Okay, you double what in that?

[Goblin]

Huh?

[Size]

She said double it and add 26. For some reason, I was thinking 9/5 was involved in that equation. But it's been so long since I've been in school.

[Jacob]

I don't do school.

[Size]

I'm out. I'm recovered.

[Jacob]

I'm out. Anyway, welcome to our country, others, and we will play your sport with you. And we cannot wait to watch. But they can't comprehend the fact that all my friends are coming over to my house Friday to watch the United States play Paraguay and soccer. And you know what we're going to do, Martin?

[Goblin]

Watch Paraguay.

[Size]

Oh, are you getting the hot dog roaster out?

[Jacob]

Of course I am. This is America, son.

[Size]

I'm coming. I don't even care who wins.

[Goblin]

I can't have the bonds, though.

[Jacob]

That's fine.

[Size]

Hey, that's like our old 30 wieners, man.

[Goblin]

I can hold. I ain't ate the winners.

[Jacob]

Come on. Gee, eight o', clock, we're playing Paraguay. I'll be watching.

[Size]

Now, if his wife get in there and slap together a pizza, you probably just want to leave because.

[Jacob]

No, you can eat that.

[Size]

You're fine. Folks at PhD are.

[Jacob]

Sourdough does not cause inflammation. Allison's not working right now because it's

[Goblin]

summertime, so it causes bloating.

[Jacob]

She's back. No, it doesn't. It causes happiness.

[Goblin]

Makes that belly bloat.

[Jacob]

It causes joy.

[Goblin]

It does cause that, but she's.

[Jacob]

She's back to.

[Size]

She back to Betty Homemaker. Oh, good for her, man.

[Jacob]

Phenomenal.

[Goblin]

Man, I feel so much better since I've been on this PhD.

[Size]

You look better, too, friend.

[Jacob]

Slim and trim.

[Goblin]

Got off my sugar medicine. More energy. It's just amazing the difference. Most weight loss plans have one thing in common. They quit working eventually. And when that happens, usually the weight comes right back. But Ph.D. weight loss is different. I'm 17 weeks in. I'm down 35 pounds.

[Size]

Whoa, whoa.

[Goblin]

Let me tell you, there's so much helpful stuff on their website that you can read, and it's just great. And you got a coach to talk to, which is very good.

[Size]

There you go. Look, what worked for you before doesn't always work again because your body fights weight loss every step of the way when it's under stress. And look, GLP1 drugs can work as a quick fix, but they don't always take care of what's causing the problem in the first place. Ph.D. weight loss works with you to develop a plan that works with your body and focuses on restoring metabolism for good so your body stops fighting you. The goal isn't just to lose weight. It's to never have to start over again. Right now, call PhD weight loss and mention Godwin. There you go. You'll get two free weeks in the program and they'll pay for your food. That's a $1,500 value, completely free. Call 864-644-1900 and say Godwin again. That's 864-64-41900 or visit myphdweightloss.com.

[Goblin]

I still could eat 18 pecan pies with a big old slob of ice cream. Big old ice cold glass of milk

[Size]

so that one ain't one away all you're craving.

[Goblin]

It's just mama made so good pecan pies.

[Jacob]

I'm going to say it. I'm not a pecan pie guy.

[Goblin]

Well, that's not my fault.

[Jacob]

I know.

[Size]

Is good.

[Jacob]

Never. I don't like nuts that much and I'm allergic to cashews.

[Size]

Are you really?

[Goblin]

Cashy ain't enough to freak.

[Size]

Oh, wow.

[Jacob]

What?

[Size]

That's probably on that list of stuff that he.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

I mean, they probably put it in a weird fruity. It's probably. What is it considered a tree nut. So tree nuts are actually not nuts. They're fruit.

[Goblin]

I don't.

[Jacob]

Oh, they're technically neither.

[Goblin]

What are they?

[Jacob]

They're seeds.

[Goblin]

That's what I said.

[Size]

Oh. So there you go.

[Jacob]

Called a cashew apple. What?

[Size]

Cashews are great, though.

[Jacob]

They really are.

[Size]

They're so good.

[Jacob]

But if I eat them, I'm toast. I'm at the doctor.

[Goblin]

We do swoll up.

[Jacob]

We get all red stuff and all splotchy.

[Size]

Will you eat some? For the camera? No, for this podcast, Maybe. Why Not.

[Goblin]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I mean, numbers start to tank. Inside's not here.

[Size]

You want to jazz it up. I'm just going to start throwing. I'm just going to start throwing cashews at you.

[Jacob]

One time in life, I was. There was. I was hungry and there was a bowl of cashews, and I knew it, but they were so good. I just said, you know what? We're going to deal with the repercussions of this later. And, I mean, I swelled up. I. I swell up and I just turn all red and itchy my whole body.

[Size]

That's crazy.

[Jacob]

Why does that happen? Why did my calves hitch? Because I eat cashews.

[Goblin]

I don't recollect being allergic to nothing.

[Size]

I wasn't until a few weeks ago when I found out I'm now allergic to poison ivy or whatever.

[Goblin]

Remember I used to be. I had on my arm as a kid. I was.

[Size]

But now size, I'm the opposite. Like, the older I get, the more I'm like, getting weird allergies to stuff now. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's. Maybe. Maybe it's PhD. Maybe losing all that weight is getting ready. You're gonna be able to climb trees, hang trees.

[Goblin]

I'm already climbing tree hanging. Lock on.

[Size]

Ain't gonna have to worry about poison ivy or none of that no more, huh?

[Goblin]

Nope.

[Size]

There you go.

[Goblin]

Nope.

[Size]

So what's the point? World cup is soccer. Everybody's here. Like, I watch the World cup because

[Jacob]

it's the biggest sporting event in the world.

[Size]

Exactly. I watch all championships because. Why not? I mean, you want to watch the championships like I've watched the NBA Finals now, which really feels rigged. I don't think so, man. If the way those games. Ian. Feel like there's a script involved. I'm not saying there is. I'm not one of those conspiracy fellers, but it just seems like this long string of things that has to happen continues to happen. And I don't. I don't like it. But, you know.

[Jacob]

You think Donald Trump went to the NBA Finals to help rig it?

[Size]

No, I do.

[Jacob]

I'm going to go down that road. I like it.

[Size]

Oh, okay.

[Jacob]

I just decided this in this moment, the now.

[Size]

But I don't know, it's weird. College World Series starts this weekend.

[Goblin]

I don't watch basketball. I like, I played at one time and everybody run down to the other end and I just waited on them to come back because I went down there with them and then they took off. I'm saying I ain't Running all this. I just sat there waiting for them to come back.

[Size]

Me and Goblin were.

[Goblin]

Then they put me on the bench.

[Jacob]

You would not like soccer.

[Size]

Yeah, that's a lot of running.

[Jacob]

It's a big.

[Goblin]

Yeah, but they go down there. They down there a while. Sometimes they ain't over here, and then back over here and then back over there. And, I mean, it's just. You run down there, and they already headed to the other side.

[Size]

Yeah. Soccer is one I don't really understand. I'd play on that lasso was my favorite version.

[Jacob]

How do you not understand soccer?

[Size]

Well, because.

[Jacob]

Don't use your hands.

[Size]

I understand it in the net.

[Goblin]

I know, but who's doing what?

[Size]

But it's like. It's always, like one team just wants to play defense the whole time and then just counter. Like, fast break and then. But one team, they're, like, always on one half of the field the whole time and just teachery. Yeah. I mean, I just don't get it. I'm more of a.

[Goblin]

How come everybody just don't go for the ball?

[Size]

Like, one nothing. Nah, bro. Let's make this like 15 to 14. Like, everybody kicking goals.

[Jacob]

One. Nothing's exciting, is it? It's right at the end.

[Goblin]

Oh, yeah.

[Size]

But I guess in the world. Can they tie in the World Cup?

[Jacob]

In the group stage, they can.

[Size]

Okay, so this is where soccer officially has to declare a winner, though.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Size]

Okay.

[Jacob]

After the first three games, then it's like, you win or you go home.

[Size]

Okay.

[Goblin]

Nephew plays soccer. We've been going to a couple of games. I can't figure it out.

[Jacob]

He's just trying to put the ball in the net.

[Size]

Where does he play?

[Goblin]

I nav.

[Size]

Does he kick or does he stand there?

[Goblin]

No, he kicks it.

[Size]

So I just wonder if he's a goalie or not. I'm out.

[Goblin]

No, I ain't the guy.

[Jacob]

That's the way you asked. It was the goalie.

[Size]

Well, I was trying to do that. Trying to dumb it down for the man that said he didn't understand.

[Goblin]

Well, I don't know.

[Jacob]

Does he use his hands?

[Goblin]

No, you can't go.

[Jacob]

He's a kicker.

[Size]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so he's a ball kicker. There you go. I'm just saying the. But anyway, look, folks, we know there's a lot of. Y' all listening, man. Going through it, and. And there's a lot of folks that we're friends with that are currently going through it right now. One of my best friend's wives, she started her chemotherapy today, so Alicia we're thinking of you. We're praying for you. I will hopefully have you fried crappie delivered to Vanderbilt Hospital tomorrow because I know it's one of your favorite things to eat. So my buddy Fred has stepped in the gap right there to provide for them since he lives in the Nashville area. But, man, between. You just see it so much these days, right? Like, there's. And affects everybody. So.

[Jacob]

And my. My Uncle Corey's dad, Johnny, he had. We didn't know he even had cancer until, like, last week, and they've already had surgery today, and I literally got the update during this. Like, got a text during this episode. The surgery went all right. So, okay, he's out of that now. But it.

[Size]

You know, but everybody's dealing with something. Y' all don't think that, you know, because we get to sit here and talk into these cans, that life doesn't happen for us, and. And it only happens for y'. All. I got another buddy. I went fishing with him, Dustin Connell. His dad passed away suddenly last Friday, massive heart attack, out of nowhere. Had no idea anything was wrong. And, you know, now I told dc, I said, well, dc, you know, we. We've got a lot in common. I sure was hoping this wasn't one of the things that we would have in common. Not for a while, because losing. Losing your dad's a tough one, man, especially as a. As a male. So, man, there's just that. That kid that probably keeps popping up on a lot of Yalls Instagram, Will Roberts, that's fighting the Osteo Sarcoma. Like, he made the video that went viral that got Trump to sign off on, really, on expanding this drug. Like, I keep up a will, and he's fighting. So, man, the world's just riddled with it, y'. All.

[Jacob]

Yeah, we like to be a fun little place where you can escape the real world, but, you know, but thoughts

[Size]

and prayers for everybody. And if you at home feel led, please, for all these folks, just throw them up, lay them at the feet of Jesus, y'. All. You know, it's just, you know, we're a praying bunch. We believe that his will is perfect. We don't. Don't understand it because we're not him, right? So. So whatever everybody's going through, there is a reason there's a season for it. We love you guys. If there's anything we can be praying about, pop them over in the emails, ma'. Am. We'll get a bunch of them. Yeah.

[Jacob]

And I do. I. When I read them, I stop and pray for them right then.

[Size]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Even if we don't bring them up here on the podcast. And I've talked to a lot of people throughout the years that have listened to this and like, they'll come in the honey. I'll be like, dude, we. I was going through some crap and y' all talked about giraffes and World Cups or whatever it is we talk about. And we like to give people a break, but at the end of the day, we're all going through it.

[Size]

Everybody.

[Jacob]

And if you. You rewind this podcast, about a year ago, your boy was really going through it.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Size]

I thought Johnny D last night.

[Jacob]

We were all going through it, though.

[Size]

Johnny D in a text last night. It's like, if it's going to start happening every May and June, I'm just going to start skipping them.

[Jacob]

Skip it.

[Size]

I don't need no birthday party anyway. We can fast forward through this. Let's get to July, man.

[Jacob]

But. But it reminds me of a verse in the Bible in John and this carpenter from Nazareth, his name was Jesus.

[Size]

Oh, Jesus. Because we've got the World cup here. So.

[Jacob]

Yahmes. Anyway, Juan A1 1633. This is Jesus talking. I've told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. That's a guarantee from Jesus right there.

[Size]

Amen.

[Jacob]

But his next words are the most important part. But take heart. I have overcome the world a whatever you're going through, Jesus has overcome everything there is to overcome on this earth. And one day we'll all be together in heaven where there won't be any of this.

[Size]

No. That's what I told them Wheelers. I said, jacob, you got a bunch of the trophies, man. Every trophy you could imagine for fishing. I said, you about to win the biggest title of yalls life, man. When y'. All. When y' all defeat this stuff.

[Jacob]

Yep.

[Goblin]

Amen to that.

[Size]

Yeah. I said, Alicia, gonna have the biggest trophy, so take that, buddy.

[Hunter]

Buddy.

[Size]

But that's it, y'.

[Allison]

All.

[Size]

Thank y' all so much for listening to the duck call room. Thanks for letting us be an escape for you guys. And hopefully you'll let us keep doing it for a long time. But we love y'. All. We'll see y' all next time right here in the duck call room. We're out.

[Jacob]

I want to go with a European, the Waffle House.