Uncle Si Meets a Long-Lost Cousin After a Family Shootout

Summary

Duck Call Room Podcast

Episode: Uncle Si Meets a Long-Lost Cousin After a Family Shootout
Date: December 18, 2025
Host(s): Si Robertson, Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo

---

Overview

This lively, hilarious, story-packed episode finds the Duck Call Room crew in full form, swapping tales about wild childhoods, family feuds, and unexpected family connections. The episode’s central event is Uncle Si’s discovery of a long-lost cousin—whose family history includes a dramatic shootout over cattle. True to form, the show is filled with good-natured roasting, Southern storytelling, and reflections on quirky families, Christmas movies, and career days, all delivered in that signature Duck Commander style.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dental Drama and Career Day Jokes

• The crew opens with playful talk about dental work and proper teeth alignment.
• John-David announces he’s been invited back to his high school to speak at Career Day.
  • He jokes about his senior ambition: "Get fat and take over the honey hole. You've done both of those." (06:12, Phil)
  • General theme: Embrace life’s odd turns and be open to unlikely paths.
• Extended riffing on what jobs to talk about, and reminiscing about old yearbook quotes and embarrassing teenage aspirations.
  • Memorable exchange about hairlines and career success:

    "At 17 years old, apparently for one day at least, my goal in life was to get fat and take over the honey hole. And I did it." (06:33, John David Owen)

---

2. Falling Asleep, Medications, and Family Ribbing

• They poke fun at Uncle Si for falling asleep during a previous school talk, blaming medication changes and getting older.
• Discussion of duck season routines, sleep, and favorite shows—"Survivor" and "Stranger Things"—with more playful teasing about falling asleep early.

---

3. Holiday Antics and Favorite Christmas Movies

• A spirited debate on greatest Christmas movies spans classics like "Home Alone", "Christmas Vacation," "Elf," and "Jingle All the Way."
  • Adam Martin: "Jingle All the Way... That’s a good Turbo Man." (23:32)
  • John David Owen: "You haven't seen Jingle All the Way?... Top five!" (23:49)
• Discussion shifts to John Luke's long-time role playing Santa Claus at the Methodist Home, and passing on the tradition.

---

4. The Long-Lost Cousin and the Family Shootout

[Key segment: ~31:00–35:00]

• Adam Martin tells of an unexpected call about a woman in Shreveport—Uncle Si’s second cousin—who traces their connection through Si’s father's sister.
  • Family backstory involves an old shootout over cattle grazing rights on a levee during a flood year:

    "They had an argument over it and, hey, pistols were pulled... I killed him." (32:19, John Luke)

  • The story is recounted with typical Duck Call Room levity:

    "That'll make for a weird Christmas." (32:25, Phil)

• Si's aunt was reportedly a bearded woman who worked hard on a farm all her life, leading to a discussion of eccentric relatives.
  • "She had a beard like a goatee. No, she shaped it. No, no, I'm serious. Literally, she had to shave." (34:53, John Luke)

---

5. Robertson Family Lore: Pranks, Hazing, and Life Lessons

[Key segment: ~36:00–46:00]

• John Luke and the others share vivid (and outrageous) stories of growing up among numerous tough, prank-pulling siblings and cousins:
  • Naked dashes through the woods after their clothes were stolen at the swim hole.
  • Getting run over by wagons and assaulted with hot peppers and cow patties.
  • "They would do it and then tell the whole neighborhood. Okay, so everybody's waiting and watching for us to run through the woods butt naked." (40:17, John Luke)
  • Grotesquely funny “hot pepper” and “knocked-out by nut” stories, illustrating the rough-and-tumble, anything-goes Southern upbringing—plus commentary on being the favorite child and differences across generations.
• John-David closes this portion with:

  "That makes sense that that's yall's relatives. I mean, beard on earth so... Why wouldn't you have a relative that's a lady with a beard?" (35:22)

---

6. Listener Interaction and CB Handles

[Key segment: ~52:00–56:00]

• Listener Mike from Texas calls in, asking the guys what their CB radio handles would be if they were truck drivers.
  • Si: "The Gunslinger"
  • John-David: "The Ozone Layer"
  • Adam: "Philly Mac"
• Classic banter, with everyone riffing on names and trucker culture.

---

7. Closing Reflections and Scripture

• Calls to send in stories to the podcast inbox.
• The episode wraps with John 3:17 (“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”) and a Christmas-themed message of grace and abundant living.
  • "Look, Jesus, he said, hey, I didn't come to condemn, judge you or condemn you. I came to save you." (56:45, John Luke)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Career Wisdom:
  • "I'm going to tell those kids about going to college for six years, not knowing what they're going to do in life in the easiest degree they can and then selling worms. I don't know what can go wrong." (07:08, John David Owen)
• On Family Fights:
  • "They had an argument over it, and hey, pistols were pulled and hey, I killed him." (32:19, John Luke)
  • "That'll make for a weird Christmas." (32:25, Phil)
• On Childhood Pranks:
  • "We used to have cow patty wars." (44:47, John Luke)
• On Unusual Relatives:
  • "She had a beard. Like a goatee. Yeah, she shaped it. No, no, I'm serious. Literally, she had to shave..." (34:53, John Luke)
• Playful Closing:
  • "You're a Netflix documentary waiting to happen." (52:01, Phil)

---

Episode Highlights with Timestamps

• [06:12] – John-David’s career aspirations revealed: “Get fat and take over the honey hole.”
• [13:06] – Si’s medication-induced drowsiness ribbed by the crew.
• [18:09] – John Luke’s windshield busted by a rock; extended riff on road hazards.
• [23:31] – Debate over “Jingle All the Way” as a top Christmas movie.
• [31:13] – The introduction of the long-lost cousin and start of the family shootout story.
• [34:53] – The legendary bearded aunt story.
• [40:17] – Naked dash after a swim as town prank.
• [52:00] – Listener asks: What would each Duck Call Room host’s CB handle be?
• [56:45] – Closing message: John 3:17, hope for the season.

---

Overall Tone & Final Thoughts

The episode’s tone is classic Duck Dynasty—irreverent, homey, quick-witted, full of tall tales and proud recollections of wild Southern family tradition. Stories bounce from absurdly funny to surprisingly poignant, never straying far from the group’s unique brand of wisdom and warmth.

Fans of Duck Call Room and lovers of good storytelling will find this episode especially rich, both for the outrageous true family stories and the genuine moments of connection among the hosts.

Transcript

[State Farm Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Jack Daniels Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of making something timeless while being a part of legendary nights. From backyard jams to sold out arenas, there's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org, jack Daniels and old number seven are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee.

[John Luke]

Foreign. Yeah.

[Phil]

All right. Welcome back to the podcast, ladies and gentlemen. Come on, keep it together.

[John David Owen]

When I laugh. Just got so mad. The jokes beforehand today were great people.

[Phil]

Oh, man. Y' all see it. One day. I don't know when, but one day we'll get all this.

[John Luke]

The dark years.

[Phil]

Yeah, the dark. It's just a couple of dark minutes.

[John David Owen]

A lot of times you kind of.

[Phil]

Gotta get everything out of your system before you go live, you know, it's.

[John David Owen]

Just duck call room for adults.

[Phil]

It's duck call locker room is what it is. Like.

[John David Owen]

It's hilarious. It's objectively hilarious.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Welcome back, Philip.

[John Luke]

Wow.

[Adam Martin]

Thank you. I appreciate it. Adam Martin.

[Phil]

I do know where you got that jacket.

[Adam Martin]

You do?

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

And he knows where that's at in.

[Phil]

The middle of that big field in Springfield. Downtown Springfield, Missouri, by the way, out in the middle of nowhere.

[John David Owen]

I didn't notice the logo was on the jacket. You seal from a dentist shop.

[Phil]

Did you just lose a tooth?

[John Luke]

No.

[Phil]

You got no teeth?

[John David Owen]

No.

[Adam Martin]

No.

[John David Owen]

This.

[Adam Martin]

That's not right. So I've got Invisalign and they're straightening out my teeth in order to do some other work.

[John David Owen]

Don't switch the trace too fast.

[Adam Martin]

I hear about it all the time. Oh, I'm not going to.

[John David Owen]

Got to go by the.

[Adam Martin]

I'm a rule follower.

[Phil]

That's what Brittany does. So. Yeah, if you want to catch a proper scolding.

[Adam Martin]

Oh, okay. Oh, that's what she does. No, Dr. Megan's got me in line. I got to send her a picture every week.

[John David Owen]

Not only does she have him in line, she has him Invisalign. This is not an ad, by the way, but if you're looking for one, we got you.

[Adam Martin]

So y'.

[John Luke]

All.

[Adam Martin]

Y' all went by that. Was there a picture of Psy on the. On the building out where the big.

[Phil]

No, all I saw was that thing.

[Adam Martin]

You saw that?

[Phil]

And it's.

[John David Owen]

It's like, is that a colon or a semicolon?

[Adam Martin]

Like a semicolon.

[Phil]

That's a semicolon.

[John David Owen]

I never know which is.

[Adam Martin]

So we say it's in the middle of nowhere because you kind of. Kind of drive around the back to get there, you know?

[Phil]

Yeah. But it's right off of the interstate in Springfield, Missouri, so you can't miss it now. You cannot miss a big glass building. I was like, yeah, I was like, a mile away, and I was sitting there thinking, why does that look familiar? And then as I get closer, I see the smile, and I said, oh, okay, I do know where this is. I know where I'm at now.

[John David Owen]

I don't know why anyone would want to be a dentist. Can you imagine just putting your hands in other people's mouth all day?

[Phil]

No, but they do work some pretty sweet hours. They choose their own schedule, and they. I guess they pick out however much money they want to make in a year and, like, whatever that equals, that's.

[John David Owen]

How much they just keep working till then.

[Phil]

Yeah, they're like, you know, good for the dentist. Yeah, they take off months.

[John David Owen]

I missed that at career day. And speaking of career Day, that whole bunch is.

[John Luke]

Is. Is good people.

[Adam Martin]

And I noticed Size enjoyed it since he's had his new teeth, y'. All.

[Phil]

Oh, ain't no doubt.

[Adam Martin]

And I've sent y' all some pictures from the meet and greets that we've been to. And he. He's got some big smiles.

[Phil]

Got that big cheese and big.

[Adam Martin]

They love it. People love it.

[John David Owen]

Look. But speaking of career Day, I've got big news.

[Adam Martin]

Oh.

[John David Owen]

I'm finally an adult. I got a text this morning from the high school that I graduated from inviting me back Chateau Christian for career week. And I'm going to speak to the high schoolers.

[John Luke]

Oh, you're going to speak about career.

[Phil]

Did they give you a full list of who's there?

[John David Owen]

No, but I may want to know that for you, I'm on a panel, and I couldn't be more excited to.

[Phil]

Be the weirdest on the panel with you.

[John David Owen]

I don't know why we don't. We won't know. It's not till February.

[Adam Martin]

I've got your theme song ready.

[John David Owen]

I think I'm gonna have walk up.

[Adam Martin]

Music here it is. I'm digging up worms. I'm digging up word.

[John David Owen]

But yeah, I'm speaking and I'm thinking about missing it and send inside my place. Just like that episode.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Which career do they want to know about?

[John David Owen]

I don't know.

[Adam Martin]

They're not gonna let side back in.

[Phil]

They want to know about the tackle shop or they want to know about the podcast. I actually semi retired reality TV star.

[John David Owen]

And nobody, they didn't respond.

[John Luke]

No input.

[John David Owen]

I said, do y' all want retail or podcasts or what? I haven't heard.

[Phil]

Maybe if you need podcast help.

[John Luke]

Oh.

[Phil]

Hunter, that do. That would be a big deal for you.

[John David Owen]

Hunter, do you want to have a career day? I think we should all just show.

[Adam Martin]

Up back to school.

[Phil]

Like I hear it and I'm like, oh, thank God nobody asked me.

[John David Owen]

Oh, you should come with me. It'll be hilarious. But here's the best part. I was thinking about it and I was like, yeah, I'll do it. It'll be funny. And then I thought, but what about my high school yearbook?

[Phil]

You gonna take it with you?

[John David Owen]

Yeah, I am. Because there was a section, the senior quote.

[Phil]

No.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

They ask you what you want to be.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Yes.

[Phil]

What was it?

[John David Owen]

It says, after graduation, I planned two and I had to fill it out. Guess what a 17 year old John David Owen wrote?

[Phil]

Gynecologist.

[John David Owen]

No. What? Gosh, no.

[Phil]

Maybe that was just me at 17.

[John David Owen]

No, no, not me.

[Phil]

That's a tough one. I want business owner, a professional slow. No, slow pitch softball.

[John David Owen]

Embarrassing. I might have thought it.

[Phil]

I want to be in marketing for the New Orleans Saint. I have no idea.

[John David Owen]

All right, here it is. Read it at the top.

[Phil]

Get fat and take over the honey hole. You've done both of those.

[John Luke]

Boom.

[Phil]

You've done both of those.

[John David Owen]

Exactly. I'm the perfect person. I knew fat.

[Phil]

You. Wow.

[John David Owen]

Your hair.

[Adam Martin]

Wow, look at this.

[John David Owen]

I buzzed it.

[Phil]

Oh, but that's incredible that it comes that far down your forehead. Oh, yeah. You have like a three head.

[John David Owen]

I'm like, that's incredible. Yeah, I got a lot of hair.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

At 17 years old, apparently for one day at least, my goal in life was to get fat and take over the honey hole. And I did it.

[Adam Martin]

And they put it in writing.

[John David Owen]

You did it and I put it. And they even printed it.

[Phil]

I've seen you at your biggest and now I know that you've taken over the honey. Well, not yet.

[John David Owen]

I hadn't taken.

[Phil]

You're. You're. You're preparing to take over.

[John David Owen]

But how about that?

[Phil]

I'm Just glad to know that you of all people went and took your picture.

[John David Owen]

Yeah, I was told to stand on the train tracks. I don't know, man.

[John Luke]

Train tracks.

[Phil]

On this episode of Bayou Life. You for our local listeners.

[John David Owen]

If they're very proud of the fact that I nailed my career choices.

[Adam Martin]

You did it. You did it.

[John David Owen]

I laughed so hard when I thought of that.

[Phil]

That's funny.

[John David Owen]

The rest of them. I was just talking about my old biology teacher. Apparently I had a thing for, which is weird. Like 17 year old me. Calm down.

[Adam Martin]

I haven't seen you shaving in a long time.

[John David Owen]

I haven't shaved my face in like 12 years. But I. I didn't go to the barber back then either. I got a bad haircut at 15, went bought some clippers, buzzed my head for a few years, then just quit everything and now I go to barber.

[Phil]

Your hairline incredibly low in that picture. That's cool. I mean that means you got a lot of it. It's actually higher now than it was. You have lost a little, but not nothing.

[Adam Martin]

But now, now he's got a forehead.

[Phil]

You said he had a three head in that one. Man, that was great. Most people got a five head, you know, if four is the standard. Most folks got five. But Johnny D was rocking at about a three.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, he was.

[Phil]

That was. That was interesting. No.

[John David Owen]

Anyways, be. I'm going to tell those kids about going to college for six years. Not knowing what they're going to do in life in the easiest degree they can and then selling worms. I don't know what can go wrong. And if you know, Uncle Sigh, your life gets way easier.

[Phil]

Something tells me you're shooting for this to be a one time ask. Are your kids going to be there? What age are you?

[John David Owen]

High school. Like the kids about to graduate.

[Phil]

Yeah. So like the gym is going to stink. Yeah, because the high schoolers walk not in the gym.

[Adam Martin]

What are they going to ask you? I mean, what do you.

[Phil]

I don't know.

[Adam Martin]

I'm going to ask you.

[John David Owen]

I have no idea.

[Phil]

They get. I was going to ask you for a job. You should take application.

[John David Owen]

Heck no.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, yeah. No, you don't have to hire anybody. Take that.

[Phil]

Springtime is coming.

[John David Owen]

But I. I'm 50 and over.

[Phil]

To work for me is the rule now.

[John David Owen]

Unless. Yeah, you can work for me.

[John Luke]

Okay.

[John David Owen]

They're the only ones who know how to work.

[John Luke]

I'd run your business.

[Phil]

Why?

[Adam Martin]

He'd be fishing all the time.

[Phil]

I'd be in there making his own combos. We already know that story. This is what you need. The size special right here.

[Adam Martin]

Devil Horse.

[John David Owen]

I don't know what they'll ask me or why I was even chosen, but I'm actually halfway excited about it.

[Phil]

I just want to know. You got to find out who else is on this.

[John David Owen]

Oh, no, that will. We will circle back to this, and I'm sure it's going to be like people in suits. But then another girl that graduated the year before me was sitting by Donald Trump the other day. It was wild.

[Phil]

Oh, Elton's daughter.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Yeah. Meryl.

[John David Owen]

I was like, I know that person.

[Phil]

Yeah. I saw her look up. I was like, well, look at Meryl. She made it, man.

[John David Owen]

So I hope she's not there, because then I'm. I'm going to be the weirdo.

[Phil]

I like it. As the representative of Farmers Across America that chose Merrill Kennedy. And I'd love to know what Donnie said to her. Like, he got a little bit. Sigh. Meryl is. She's Meryl. She's.

[John David Owen]

That's Martin's way of saying, I don't.

[Phil]

Want to get in trouble here. But she's a very attractive woman. Yeah. She's not ugly, so. And her daddy grows a bunch of rice.

[John David Owen]

Bunch of rice.

[Phil]

And they sell a bunch of cookies.

[Adam Martin]

That's not.

[Phil]

And they sell rice to four sisters. Rice is actually. It's really good. It's what I buy at the store.

[John David Owen]

Good rice, best rice.

[Phil]

So.

[Adam Martin]

Sigh. What would you tell them? What would you tell this. This group of seniors? What, sir?

[John David Owen]

We already have that on video. And he looked them in the eyes.

[Adam Martin]

And said, you know, that's why I said, he can't go back.

[John Luke]

Put your mind up, Amy. Okay. My niece, Kimmer. Oh, yeah, Judy. Judy's daughter.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

She invited me to talk to my dad, the kids in kindergarten where I went to school. And it was wild because when I first got up, I didn't know how to. What I was going to say. And I get up and look at all these kids, and I said, you know what? This is the most amazing thing to be here. I said, because I'm standing here thinking I could be looking at the next President of the United States of America.

[Phil]

Well, the last one you did, you fell asleep on.

[John Luke]

Well, y', all, I. Look, I'm working hard. These boys have been running me.

[Phil]

If you think I ain't going to bust you at least 10 more times for falling asleep on that, you got the wrong.

[John Luke]

I like saying my. In my defenses, man.

[John David Owen]

I was tired, and Carter would not stop talking.

[Adam Martin]

And I'll say That his Carter got on.

[John Luke]

Well, Star wars and hey.

[John David Owen]

Yeah, well, look, we edited that a little.

[Adam Martin]

I'm going broke, Martin, right here at Christmas time. Spending too much money.

[John David Owen]

It can happen.

[Phil]

It happens. And look, if it does happen and it goes past that, that our friends over at Done With Debt can help you. Because you know what a cool gift is to give somebody to get them out of debt, man. And here is why. Now is the time to make a move. At year end, credit card and loan companies close their books, which means they're cleaning up past due accounts and sometimes selling off or writing off debts. Look, if you have credit card debt and unpaid bills, lenders may be more willing to negotiate. And right now you actually have some leverage. Look, Done With Debt knows how to use that timing to your advantage. Negotiating hard so that you can get out from under debt and high interest without bankruptcy or new loans. Because I mean that just. We're extending the debt in Done With Debt goes to work for you month one and with one clear goal in mind, and that's to reduce your total debt and ultimately leave you with more money in your pocket every month. Look, we all know debt is. It's not.

[John David Owen]

When we bought a car and then Carter came along and all of a sudden had tons of medical bills and debt, that's just something unavoidable you can't for.

[Phil]

And then it affects every part of your life. It affects your marriage, your kids, everything. So don't let that happen to you. If I were. If I were caught up in something like that, I would be doing everything I could to get out of it. And that's including using our friends over at Done With Debt. Get started now because your leverage may disappear at year end. Chat for free with a Done with debt [e-mail] that's donewithdebt.com.com one more time. Done with debt.com.

[Adam Martin]

Did you tell him that you changed your medication and it's been knocking you making you tired?

[John Luke]

I just told him.

[John David Owen]

Hey, everybody's told us that.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, yeah, he had changed medication and been making him tired. And y' all drag him in here.

[John David Owen]

Y' all drag him.

[Adam Martin]

Hey, that's true.

[Phil]

I ask Christine every time if it's okay. I am not dragging him anywhere.

[John David Owen]

Hunter sticking up.

[John Luke]

So I got.

[Phil]

How much he pay you to say?

[John Luke]

I have my wife to blame for this crap.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, yeah, but blame your wife.

[John Luke]

Now it makes sense. I know why they're running me so hard.

[Phil]

I hate to just run this.

[John Luke]

I gotta make more money for that redheaded woman of mine is bad.

[Phil]

I hate to disrupt your story about the kids, but what medicine? They change you. What's got you sleepy? Like blood pressure medicine or something?

[John Luke]

Oh, I don't know.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, he takes a wad.

[John Luke]

I don't even know what I'm talking. Hey, look, I don't know what I'm taking away. Even. What.

[Adam Martin]

Hey, y' all know that he don't know what he's taking or if he's taking it. Yeah, cuz he'll tell you he's taking it.

[Phil]

No, I was just curious on what would affect the sleeping. Unless, you know, on a. On a real note, do I need to ask you to come in here less?

[Adam Martin]

Just.

[John Luke]

Yeah, I'm just messing.

[Phil]

Yeah, do that. We can't get four to show up anyway, so ask people to come in here less and it's going to be the Me and John David show, so. Yeah, we already know people in the comments love us, so. Oh, that's funny. Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

I don't know what. What you need to tell them, but I don't either.

[John David Owen]

I just.

[John Luke]

I had a bad night is what happened that night. Yeah.

[Phil]

Yeah. Well, you ain't got it.

[John David Owen]

Oh, no, no, no.

[John Luke]

I'm just serious.

[Phil]

I just like busting your chops about it.

[Adam Martin]

Snoring.

[John Luke]

I had those nights Carter said respect. Look, if I leave and go anywhere. Yeah, I laid you in the bed all night.

[John David Owen]

Yeah, all night long.

[John Luke]

I mean, I'm talking about. Hey. Oh, no, no, no, I didn't doze off.

[Phil]

No, no, no.

[John Luke]

I'm laying there all night long. Wait. I look at my watch and say, yeah, it's going to take. It's going to take forever the daylight to get here.

[Phil]

I do love duck season because every night I fall asleep about 9 o' clock on the couch.

[John Luke]

Oh, no.

[Adam Martin]

Unless your wife beats you to the couch and then you're in trouble.

[Phil]

Now we got one big enough for both.

[John Luke]

That's wrong.

[Phil]

What?

[John Luke]

I don't go duck hunting all the time anymore.

[Phil]

Yes, you ain't ever tired.

[John Luke]

And I ain't tired.

[Phil]

We fixed it. Yeah, that's fall asleep at 9.

[John David Owen]

Yeah, you sound like Allison.

[Phil]

No, I fell asleep at. Yeah, I was. I bet I was asleep before.

[John Luke]

And then you get up. 4:30.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

When you're not hunting.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Did you wear your shirt?

[Phil]

Oh, I was fully dressed. Yeah. I didn't go to bed. I just was watching something. I. I think I was watching Food Network or something and.

[John David Owen]

How old are you?

[Phil]

What's on on. On Wednesday night?

[John David Owen]

Survivor.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Phil]

Oh, no.

[John David Owen]

The worst part of Survivor, right? Allison got a job this year. So she goes to bed at, you know, 6, 15, 7:30 somewhere in there. So we're slow. We watch TV in 15 minute increments together before she's asleep on the couch.

[Phil]

That's kind of the way me and Britney did stranger things this new season. Stranger things.

[John David Owen]

We've committed to waiting for Christmas break from school so we can actually watch.

[Phil]

Oh. When the rest of it comes out.

[John David Owen]

We just want to watch a whole episode without Allison falling asleep.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah. Good luck with that. Yeah. The first night she's like, oh, she was fired up about it and she turned it on and I don't even know if I made it 12 minutes.

[Adam Martin]

And I. I'm not gonna miss.

[Phil]

Just. Just gone.

[John David Owen]

I'm glad to know Brittany's in my position here.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

I'm not gonna miss the episode of Survivor.

[Phil]

Y' all can watch whatever you want to.

[Adam Martin]

I can't wait.

[Phil]

You and Brittany watch a show together than me and Alison. Okay.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

We'll start watching the same show and I'll just text Brittany.

[John Luke]

How do you watch that crap?

[Adam Martin]

I love it.

[Phil]

Survivor.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

The tribe has spoken.

[Adam Martin]

That's right. And hey, that's real. That is real tv, boys. I'm telling you, I've been on both sides. That's real. Maybe, huh? I want to. I want to be on it.

[John David Owen]

So apply.

[Adam Martin]

I have they. But you've applied.

[John David Owen]

Hold on. You've applied to survive.

[Phil]

I've got a video.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, I should show it to you. But one time Willie did. Willie was on the mate. Well, he was almost on the amazing Race.

[John David Owen]

Him and Ashley tried to be on the Amazing Race long time ago. Gives me an idea. Are you inside me inside Amazing Raising race.

[Phil]

You probably shouldn't sign side for anything. Has race involved?

[John Luke]

No.

[John David Owen]

Or amazing.

[Phil]

Amazing. He's great.

[John David Owen]

Oh, I would make it a storytelling.

[Phil]

Yeah. Amazing size. Great.

[John Luke]

That's right. I would make it amazing. But race no.

[Phil]

Yeah. Race ain't really his forte.

[Adam Martin]

I don't but he does like to go fast.

[Phil]

I probably win Survivor because everybody oh, talk about that.

[John David Owen]

And he'd be the only smart enough.

[Phil]

He should be on big brother on.

[John Luke]

The highway going home the other day and a truck come by and threw a rock up and put a kick in my darn woodshell.

[Phil]

Golly.

[John Luke]

That pissed me off so bad.

[Adam Martin]

Was it a big truck? Because there's a 118 wheelers lined up by the paper mill down by way.

[John Luke]

I'm just saying. Is he a Big truck. Hey. Through a rock and all our. I thought somebody shot at me.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Yeah.

[Phil]

The worst is when you see I was looking.

[John Luke]

It took me a minute to find it.

[Phil]

Like, I've been on interstate before. And you see it and it looks like a boulder. And you're like, yeah, this is gonna be. Boom. It's like. And that's all it did, was that little. Nick. Thank you, Winchell. But a goose made it through. You were so that. So that's weird.

[John David Owen]

Hey.

[Phil]

It's like the goose is on the loose.

[John Luke]

I've been watching it because it. It hit.

[Adam Martin]

I heard about that goose.

[John Luke]

It knocked a little dent, a little hole in it.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Phil]

Yeah, the.

[John Luke]

Hey, that's better than the buzzard.

[John David Owen]

It is better. You've told the buzzer.

[John Luke]

Yeah. No, no, because Phil come up on some buzzers and then slow down. One of them jumps up. Hey. Next thing he knows, he's in the truck with Phil. He knocked the windshield out, and he's in the. In the Dr. With Phil. And. Yo. He said yo.

[John David Owen]

Really? No, I don't want to hit anything.

[John Luke]

The best one was, though, when Jimmy Frank hit that cow. Hit that cow. I've said it in a bw.

[Adam Martin]

Wait a minute.

[Phil]

Oh, Jordan. Yeah.

[John Luke]

No, no, in a b. In a bw.

[John David Owen]

Go watch the Carter episode. It's.

[Phil]

He slid up under him.

[John David Owen]

Hey, it's a. It's magical.

[Phil]

Then the cow go.

[John Luke]

I'd have loved to had a video of it. Well, yeah, that would have been better.

[Phil]

Bob Saget would have handed you a huge check.

[John David Owen]

That bottle wasn't around back in was.

[John Luke]

That would have been epic. So have. Have Jimmy Frank center like a big cow. And it crushed that beetle.

[Adam Martin]

Yo.

[John Luke]

The cab in.

[John David Owen]

When did America's Funniest on Video start?

[Phil]

I don't know, but when I hear that, I think about Christmas vacation. You know, when old boy Chevy Chase drives up under the log truck and it's just the perfect size, and then.

[John David Owen]

Is Christmas vacation the greatest move? Christmas movie.

[John Luke]

It's a good golf course.

[Adam Martin]

It's a pretty good one. Cousin Eddie is funny. I like him.

[John Luke]

Golf course. What.

[Phil]

What's the little daddy shack?

[Adam Martin]

Caddy shack.

[Phil]

He's talking about Chevy Chase movies.

[John David Owen]

Oh, I said Christmas movies, not Chevy Chase movies.

[John Luke]

Well, let's just. When it comes up, I like the golf course where he's trying to kill them gophers. Gophers. And hey. Blows the whole course up.

[John David Owen]

That's because that's what you were doing in Alabama.

[Phil]

Yeah, you were Bill Murray Ain't that something?

[Adam Martin]

He got that going for him.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

Well, that was hilarious.

[John David Owen]

I would.

[Phil]

What is the greatest Christmas movie?

[Adam Martin]

It depends on how old you are.

[John David Owen]

Oh, that's a good point.

[John Luke]

Well, he gets left at home.

[John David Owen]

Oh, boy. Hunter's raised Die Hard movie F. No, no.

[John Luke]

What is the one of me for that before?

[Adam Martin]

Home Alone.

[John Luke]

Home Alone?

[Adam Martin]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

That's great.

[John David Owen]

I watched yesterday at work.

[Adam Martin]

That's a good one.

[John Luke]

He keeps messing up. That's hilarious.

[Phil]

Well, if you look at it. If you look at it and it like body stature. It's like Philip inside trying to break into a house. Marv. And he got Philip over here. Just Joe Passion Carter's Heaven. I mean, you see these two, the Dynamic Duo go around. They could be the Wet Bandits and. And then the Sticky Bandits. And y' all should do that as Halloween. One time. You and Sai go as a group costume of the Wet Bandits. Of the Wet Bandit.

[John David Owen]

I'd pay money to see it.

[Phil]

Or you might have to be the Sticky Bandits because I don't know if you could really tote around wet. But you could have gloves with the tape and all that stuff.

[John David Owen]

Oh, you know, you do the. You put the iron on size face.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John David Owen]

You do like the end of Home Alone.

[Phil]

Oh. Do the full makeup, like to show.

[John David Owen]

An iron and then you burn his. Burn a beanie and put it on his head. Give him a gold tooth, but take it away.

[Phil]

How's it feel? No, you're thought of as Joe Pesci.

[John David Owen]

That's awesome.

[Adam Martin]

I've been calling worse.

[Phil]

Yeah, I'm sure everybody thinks I'm Fred off the Grinch. That big reindeer, you know?

[Adam Martin]

No, Flintstone.

[Phil]

Oh, Flintstone.

[John David Owen]

Oh, you're on that new Grinch.

[Phil]

That's the one the boys like. I'm not on it. That's the one they're on. So. But.

[Adam Martin]

But that's not a bad one.

[Phil]

No, it's funny, man. I like it. Yeah. All sugar plums. Jackson says it at least 100 times a day. He drops up. Now he goes, sugar plums.

[Adam Martin]

But you know what Christmas movies are. Are really not popular anymore. It's the old, like, Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer movies.

[Phil]

Oh, Brittany, when we were young. You're without a Santa Claus.

[John David Owen]

I'm about to get blasted in the comments. You want to know why those aren't?

[Phil]

Because they're not.

[John David Owen]

Because they stink.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Playmation's not your thing.

[John David Owen]

It's not it. You should have been left in the past where it was.

[Adam Martin]

It's a weird story.

[John David Owen]

It's Bizarre. You know what's funny? Will Ferrell in a tiny. That's great.

[Phil]

Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, we watched last night. We watched the Year without a Santa Claus. I like Heat Miser and Snow Miser.

[John Luke]

What?

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, yeah. From like 1960. Whatever. What's his name? Rooney. Is the. The guy in it or whatever. Or Santa Claus.

[John David Owen]

I don't get it.

[Phil]

What? Mickey Rooney. Is that right?

[Adam Martin]

I don't know that money.

[Phil]

Yeah, that was Mickey Rooney.

[Adam Martin]

Was it?

[Phil]

Oh, I've seen it enough. Because that's Britney's favorite. Like that was one of Britney's favorite movie. Her favorite Christmas movie. She grow up in the 60s maybe.

[Adam Martin]

I mean there's a parents did.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

But what about Jingle all the Way on the Schwarzenegger? What about that one?

[Phil]

I don't.

[John David Owen]

What?

[Phil]

I don't think I've seen Jingle all the Way.

[Adam Martin]

It's a good Turbo Man.

[Phil]

Oh, Hunter said. Me neither.

[John David Owen]

You haven't seen England with Turboman Jamie?

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, that's it.

[John David Owen]

And he get. He breaks in his neighbor's house to steal the kid's toy and the reindeer beats him up.

[Adam Martin]

Phil Hartman.

[John David Owen]

It's a great movie.

[Phil]

I ain't seen him.

[John David Owen]

You haven't seen Jingle all the Way?

[Adam Martin]

Okay. You gotta see it.

[John David Owen]

Top five.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Seen him.

[John Luke]

Look.

[John David Owen]

AG1 is a daily health drink. It's going to combine all that you need. Your multivitamin, your pre and probiotics, superfoods, antioxidants, into how many scoops?

[John Luke]

One.

[John David Owen]

One simple green scoop. And it's one of the easiest things that you do to support your body every day. Look, this time of year, you're traveling, kids are in school, whole families are getting together. So that immune system of yours, it's working overtime. I feel better knowing behind the scenes, AG1 is out there giving my body a little daily backup. The holidays are hitting. Nobody's eating perfect right now. Not nobody. And AG1 next gen is loaded with more vitamins and minerals than ever before to help me fill nutrient gaps when the sweets and treats never seem to run out. If setting healthy habits is a goal for you in the new year, AG1 is by far the easiest daily habit to get you started. Plus, if you use our link, you'll get the newest formula and best price available for AG1 next gen, right now.

[Adam Martin]

And right now, you can get the berry flavor.

[John David Owen]

The Berry Tropical Citrus Original. Whatever one's your favorite.

[John Luke]

You're.

[John David Owen]

You're a berry guy, aren't you?

[Adam Martin]

I love the berry.

[John David Owen]

He loves the berries. And Agz you want to add it into your nighttime routine, get you a good night's sleep. Sleep. Super important. Just ask the king of sleep right here.

[John Luke]

There it is.

[John David Owen]

AG1 has their best offer ever. If you head to drinkag1.com you'll get the welcome kit, a morning person hat, a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2 AG1 flavor sampler, and you'll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free, which has been a game changer for my nightly routine. That's drinkag1.com for $126 in free gifts for new subscribers.

[Adam Martin]

I have been the Santa Claus at the Methodist home where I work for 30 years. And I'm. I'm hanging it up. This is my last.

[John David Owen]

What?

[Phil]

You're done?

[Adam Martin]

The last Santa.

[John David Owen]

You can't hang that up.

[Adam Martin]

Oh, Phil McMill. I got a replacement. No, it's an older gentleman and he's retired and he's going to do it for us.

[John Luke]

I got tricked in that crap in the army.

[Adam Martin]

Hey, once you get started, then like.

[John Luke]

I said, I said, hey, look at me. I'm skin and bone.

[Adam Martin]

That's what I said.

[John Luke]

Yo, that's. Well, you can't say it's not.

[John David Owen]

You can't say skin and bones.

[John Luke]

You can't say skin, bones, and honesty.

[Phil]

He says, and honesty.

[Adam Martin]

That's right.

[John Luke]

There's a good Santa right there. You think that's the real one?

[John David Owen]

Do you think this is the real one?

[John Luke]

Yeah, that's the real one.

[John David Owen]

You know who that is?

[John Luke]

I know who that is. He makes a good one.

[Adam Martin]

Mac and my uncle Mac. Owen.

[Phil]

He does need a little. He needs a little belly.

[John David Owen]

He's putting his hand up like he's pregnant.

[Phil]

I know.

[Adam Martin]

Oh, my. Looks good.

[John Luke]

I love that guy.

[Phil]

That guy used to be drug addict.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

Hey, he was.

[Phil]

I just show you, man. I mean, I know when you look at him, you can't help but they look at God when you know his story.

[John Luke]

I know.

[Phil]

Like, if you don't know a story, you're like, hey, there's some dude dressed up playing Santa. But when you think about the twist and turn it took to get right there, it's incredible, man. Man, like bringing so much joy to children and. And all that at the Denver airport or wherever he's at out there in Denver.

[John David Owen]

I wish it was the Denver airport, and it might be. So I'm not even going to correct you.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Middle of the airport Santa sounds like a rough gig.

[Phil]

That sounds like when holidays are overshine station. Oh, man, I'm doing it one day. What's that? Santa. You should.

[John David Owen]

Yeah, I got to go white first.

[Phil]

Well, it won't take long. You get the edges.

[Adam Martin]

No, he got a long time.

[John Luke]

Oh, he got a lot.

[John David Owen]

No, Heath hadn't gone white. That's the weird part.

[Phil]

Was he jet black like you?

[John Luke]

I think so.

[John David Owen]

Except for whenever he bleached it blonde. Looked like Eminem, but like a used Q tip.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Yeah, he did.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, but. But Willie did it better.

[John David Owen]

Yeah, he did it, too. They were really good friends.

[Phil]

Bobbleheaded, bleach flying.

[John David Owen]

But the. Yeah, no, I've. I've always thought I'd go gray or white pretty early like my dad did, and I. I. I don't think it's happening. And I'm a little disappointed because I.

[Phil]

Think you got time, friend.

[John David Owen]

That's true.

[Phil]

You got time. Nothing but time. Oh, we could do Come see Santa at the Honey Hole. Then you double dough. Pop them.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah. Double the pops.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

There you go. That's it. That's the good look about it.

[Adam Martin]

That's a good.

[Phil]

The. Yeah. I don't know. How does my phone.

[John David Owen]

Oh, your phone's going crazy.

[Phil]

It's cold, man. So the. The deer and ducks are moving.

[John David Owen]

Is that what's cool.

[Phil]

It's all my trail cameras updating. Yeah. So it's just steady.

[John David Owen]

When you were, let's say, 30, could you imagine having a little box in your pocket that sent you pictures from the woods on command?

[Phil]

Oh, isn't it awesome? What a time to be alive, man.

[John Luke]

It is amazing times.

[Phil]

Idea. Like, I just got a picture of bull Sprague right in front of my camera. How about that? Ain't that fun?

[John Luke]

Yep.

[Phil]

When's the last time you seen one of them? Been a minute.

[John Luke]

It's been a while.

[John David Owen]

You should start naming your ducks like Cy and Stone name their deer.

[Phil]

No, because then I won't kill them.

[John Luke]

Oh, no. Y' all should have seen that.

[Phil]

Something gets a name. I don't hunt it.

[John Luke]

No, no. Hey.

[Phil]

He gets a name, I'm out. I can't do it.

[John Luke]

You should have seen the sage when she shot Big Red. Yeah, well, she made a good shot on it.

[Phil]

There you go.

[John Luke]

180 yards.

[Phil]

Got her.

[John Luke]

And hey, soon just down he went.

[Adam Martin]

Dang.

[Phil]

Down goes Frazier, boys. Down goes Frazier.

[John Luke]

Down.

[Phil]

Oh, man. So what else you got going on, Phil? You're a retired Santa Claus.

[Adam Martin]

Retired Santa Claus.

[Phil]

Empty nester for Christmas. Is that kind of weird?

[Adam Martin]

I'm celebrating 30 years at the. The children's home in December, which is. When are you gonna walk away Any minute. Sigh Any minute.

[Phil]

Oh, he ain't.

[John David Owen]

Wait, how old are you?

[Adam Martin]

55.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

He got tons of time.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah. No, I'll be. I'll probably be there a long time. I love it. But so I got that going on. All my kids coming in for Christmas. You know, Bryson and Emily are coming in. Blake, Amber and DJ. Amber got a job as an architect in Arkansas. Bentonville. And so her and dj, she's up there at Walmart. Yeah. It's beautiful. Yep. So that's it.

[Phil]

That's America's real Uncle Sam. Sam Walton.

[Adam Martin]

He was.

[John David Owen]

He was Christmas gifts every year.

[Adam Martin]

He was best buddies with your grandfather.

[John David Owen]

Best buddies is strong.

[Adam Martin]

They were buddies.

[Phil]

Bearded competition.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Sam1.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

But on the Broncos right now.

[Adam Martin]

But they. But they ended up being pretty close.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Sam Walton wrote the forward to my papa's book.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Money grows on trees, baby.

[Phil]

Does it?

[John David Owen]

That's what my apple said. So I'm believing it.

[John Luke]

I got.

[John David Owen]

I've actually never.

[Adam Martin]

I have read it and I gave it to. I mean he gave it to me. Alton did.

[Phil]

Does it in fact grow on trees or is he just big in the timber business?

[John David Owen]

On trees. If you're willing to really.

[Phil]

There's a lot of work. Really depends on how many trees.

[Adam Martin]

How much money you want.

[John David Owen]

I climb trees. Trees, pick trees. You got to do a lot of things.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Money to grow on trees.

[Adam Martin]

No, but I had an interesting phone call today.

[John David Owen]

I was about to say you were telling me something.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

About somebody you met.

[Adam Martin]

So our buddy me inside got a buddy. Sal Melitella.

[John David Owen]

What's his nickname? Animal style Salvador.

[Adam Martin]

He's. He's a stockbroker over in Shreveport area. But anyway, he calls me up and we're talking and I'm trying to get him to fly us to West Texas to go dove hunting so we don't have to drive, you know. Anyway, he says, I've got one of my associates that's here that is kenned Uncle Sigh. He's put her on the phone. She said, okay, I am size dad James. His sister is my grandmother. And so she started telling me the stories and was like. And something happened with their dads or something. Was there the shooting or something?

[John Luke]

One of them got. One of my uncles got killed on the levee over cows.

[Adam Martin]

Was it one like his cousin that shot him or something?

[John Luke]

Well, it was that they was around the area because she was telling me it was kin folks.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, she said it was some kind of kin folk related.

[John Luke]

They had an argument over it and hey, Pistols were pulled and. Hey, I killed him.

[Adam Martin]

Dang.

[Phil]

That'll make for a weird Christmas.

[Adam Martin]

You ain't kidding.

[Phil]

But a very interesting Christmas movie was Water.

[John Luke]

It was. It was a flood year, okay? And the guy didn't have nowhere to. For the. Except on the levy.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

And the guy didn't like it. Said he considered it his levy.

[Phil]

Oh.

[John Luke]

You know, he had a gunfight.

[Phil]

You know, that does happen.

[John David Owen]

No, I don't think it does.

[Phil]

I mean, I've seen it. I've seen it in the Western. Did it happen? It all started.

[John Luke]

Stuff like that.

[Phil]

You ever watched Open Range? They kill everybody over some grazing cows, man. People like their cows eating grass, man. Open Range. A good Western movie, though. But, I mean, everybody gets killed up in there.

[Adam Martin]

So that's. That's. Wow.

[Phil]

But it's all over. Cows grazing. They were. Them cows caused a lot.

[John Luke]

I'm sitting here trying.

[Phil]

They caused a lot of beef back in the day.

[John Luke]

Well, she's of daddy's sister and I can't.

[Adam Martin]

She's got pictures and stuff.

[John Luke]

This woman has a be.

[John David Owen]

What?

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Now we're on the ground.

[Phil]

Why didn't we start there?

[Adam Martin]

This is your dad's sister.

[Phil]

So your aunt had a beard?

[John Luke]

Oh, yeah.

[John David Owen]

Could she sing?

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

Well, no, no, look, she had. You know, she worked her whole life.

[Phil]

At the circus like a man.

[John Luke]

I mean, she really did.

[Phil]

Okay.

[John Luke]

I won't say Mildred, but I don't think that's right.

[Phil]

Mildred with a beard.

[John Luke]

Now, she had.

[Phil]

Did she send you the picture? Why we gotta get her over here? She in Shreveport?

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, she's in Shreveport.

[John David Owen]

And.

[Adam Martin]

And she wants to meet with side and show.

[John David Owen]

We'd love.

[Phil]

We'd love to. Right here on the dock.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, we'll bring her in here, call.

[John Luke]

Sal and tell her. Hey.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, we'll get Sal to bring her over. Yeah, but. But Sal wants to see us in the next couple of weeks. Maybe you'll get to meet her and then we bring her on.

[Phil]

There you go. So y' all working out a plane deal with Sal? What kind of plane he got?

[Adam Martin]

I don't know.

[John Luke]

Yeah, prop job.

[Phil]

What?

[John Luke]

Prop job?

[Phil]

Yeah, like a king area.

[John Luke]

Just not.

[John David Owen]

Nothing fancy.

[Phil]

Yeah, nothing fancy. Million dollar king area.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah. Versailles.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

No, not too fancy, but.

[John Luke]

Hey, I'm serious. She had a beard because she worked like a man all her life.

[John David Owen]

That's how you grow beards.

[John Luke]

Well, they.

[John David Owen]

She's been working hard.

[John Luke]

She grew up on a farm.

[John David Owen]

I've not been doing that.

[Phil]

Interesting.

[John Luke]

She wouldn't. When the hay was hauled, she Was hauling, throwing it up there and everything else.

[John David Owen]

Are you sure she just didn't have hay all over her face? She had.

[John Luke]

She had a beard. Like a full beard.

[John David Owen]

Like a fill up beard or a.

[Phil]

Beard or just a five o' clock shadow?

[John Luke]

No, she had like a goatee. Yeah, she shaped it. No, no, I'm serious. Literally, she had to shave.

[Adam Martin]

She kept it trim, right?

[John Luke]

No, she shaved. Okay. And then I had to put like a coloring on her owner. You know, cover it up.

[Phil]

I'm not speechless often, but I don't know.

[Adam Martin]

No, that's. That mean.

[John David Owen]

That makes sense that that's yalls relatives. I mean beard on earth so.

[John Luke]

Well, that's.

[John David Owen]

Why wouldn't you have a relative that's a lady.

[John Luke]

It's always. I've told you this. I had. I never did meet my grandfathers either way. And it's always pissed me off because daddy's dad was a judge.

[Adam Martin]

That would have been cool to meet him.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

At like the courthouse.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Oh yeah.

[John David Owen]

Look, as a consumer, you really do to hold the success of a business in your hands. As a business owner, I get that. Because their success depends on your choice to spend money with them or their competitor. And our friends over at Pure Talk want to say a heartfelt thank you for choosing them for your wireless needs. Because of you, Pure Talk had a record breaking year. Your generosity and their Roundup for charity program, they've been able to donate over a half a million dollars to America's Warrior Partnership which works to prevent veteran suicide.

[Phil]

And that's awesome.

[John David Owen]

Your support also allowed Pure Talk to donate a thousand hand sewn American made flags to fellow veterans. And by choosing Pure Talk as your wireless provider, you chose to support American jobs. Like I said, consumers have the power to make or break companies. And with all the money big wireless spends on advertising, you're flooded with offers everywhere you look. So from everyone in the Pure Talk family, thank you for your trust and God bless America.

[Phil]

Boy, it is good. And how. How often do you hear that from somebody though? Just thank you.

[John Luke]

Yeah, that's why I was saying daddy. You know, I always said that Phil was what I called a hard man. He shows no emotion. That was weakness. No, that's daddy.

[Phil]

How many aunts and uncles did you have? A bunch of them.

[John Luke]

Too many.

[Adam Martin]

The Hales and Hobbs.

[John Luke]

Remember?

[Phil]

But if this was his daddy's, this was size daddy sister. So this was his aunt. Yeah, that's what I was. So was she a Hobbes then?

[Adam Martin]

No, no, she was a Robert.

[Phil]

But she was a Robertson. But when she married.

[Adam Martin]

She got married.

[Phil]

But the Hobbs are your mama's family.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Is that right?

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Okay, so then she would have married.

[John Luke]

No, the Hales.

[Phil]

The Hales are mama's family. Okay. Yeah, I just.

[John Luke]

Are first cousins.

[Phil]

Okay. Because y' all always said y' all tree pretty straight, but it was kind of crooked, so.

[John Luke]

Mary sue, she. She married Alexander. Okay.

[John David Owen]

That's Phil's middleman.

[John Luke]

Irene married Marvin, and I don't know where he come from.

[Phil]

Okay.

[John Luke]

No, that's.

[Phil]

Ain't Irene the one that paints you.

[John Luke]

Oh, no. One that will cut you with her toes.

[John David Owen]

Got pliers for toes.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

Look. And somebody's always going to be there, and she's going to cut that sucker.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

That will be eaten in somebody's scream. And then everybody else will be busting loud laughing.

[Phil]

Y' all always sit the guest by her just so that way.

[John Luke]

Hey. Don't know. Well, you bring welcome to the family blood for.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

And you just watch.

[Phil]

You ain't never got this one before.

[Adam Martin]

Sit back and watch everybody.

[John Luke]

Everybody's kind of just eating real. Just because they're waiting for the screen.

[Adam Martin]

Si. Was she that mean?

[John Luke]

Oh, no, look, the Hales and the Hobbs. Okay.

[John David Owen]

My scissor toes and a beard.

[John Luke]

Fm Hail daughters. Okay. Lulu and Edith. Lulu. Edith. There's. I think it was another one. But anyway.

[Phil]

These are such better names than, like.

[John Luke]

Casey freaking run me down, took all my clothes off.

[Phil]

We need to.

[John Luke]

And rub me down with hot pepper. Fresh pull from the garden.

[Adam Martin]

Good grief. So how old were you?

[John Luke]

Hey, you talking about little mean bees? Yeah, they were back in the day. Look, we would go swimming, hang our clothes on the limbs. The next thing we do, we turn around, them three have grabbed all our clothes and left.

[John David Owen]

Were you naked?

[John Luke]

Yeah. Yeah, we're skinny dippers. So. Hey, guess what the next thing you see is. You see three guys running through the woods naked, going home to get some clothes.

[Phil]

At £120 was a funny thing to see. Running through the woods.

[John Luke]

Oh, no, no, no. Hey, look.

[Phil]

Like a freaking Demogorgon.

[John David Owen]

Bigfoot.

[John Luke]

Hold on. No, look. No, no, here. No, no, you ain't. You know, you don't understand. They would do it and then tell the whole neighborhood. Okay, so everybody's waiting and watching for us to run through the woods, but naked. They over there, y' all waving the clothes.

[Phil]

Did you ever spend any time in an Upside down?

[John Luke]

Upside down?

[John David Owen]

His whole life's in the upside.

[Phil]

I just gotta watch Stranger Things. That joke would make a lot more sense to you.

[John Luke]

Hey, look, when they would have, you know, we live on a hill, okay? The Hobbs is live down below at the bottom of the hill. Well, every Friday night and Saturday, the Hobbs is invited people come over to play domino.

[Phil]

Yep. Yep.

[John Luke]

Jimmy Frank, my oldest brother, one wife, we called him the warden because mama and daddy would say, okay, we're going down to play dominoes, okay? You're in charge, take care of the kids.

[Phil]

So they left y' all up on top of the hill.

[John Luke]

Yeah. So we're in the log cabin. Okay. And Jimmy Frank was like, a Nazi guard.

[Adam Martin]

No escape.

[John Luke]

No, no. Yeah, he's walking around like he's on patrol, you know? So, look, we had a. You know, the. The cabin had two windows. One on one side, one on the other side. So we time it. I mean, okay, when you see him come around the corner on your window, we're going out the other way. We would eventually all end up down at the Hobbs. Okay. With afraid bunch, the mean sisters they had come down.

[Phil]

Jimmy Frank wasn't a very good ward.

[John Luke]

Oh, well, hey, he never could just walk.

[Adam Martin]

He got outsmarted.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

He could keep a man. Yeah.

[John David Owen]

And you were naked this whole time?

[John Luke]

Well, no. No. Well, Phil used to say I didn't wear clothes till I was 14.

[Phil]

I got more question about the hot pepper all over your body. How'd that feel?

[John David Owen]

I got more questions.

[Phil]

Does that hurt? Like, it's like. It was like jalapeno peppers rubbed all.

[John Luke]

Over you or this is not bright.

[Phil]

Enough for how red your skin was.

[Adam Martin]

Look at. Look at his hat. Johnny D's hat.

[John Luke]

It was that. I look like that.

[Phil]

Okay.

[Adam Martin]

That's a pretty good.

[Phil]

Where they rubbed it all over.

[John Luke]

Oh, no. And, hey, they didn't miss a spot, even on your. Oh, yeah. On my private. In the crack everywhere.

[Phil]

Not the crack.

[John Luke]

Oh, no. Hey, I'm talking George. Hey.

[Phil]

No.

[John Luke]

Oh, mama got. Oh, mama was. That's. That's probably the maddest I've ever seen.

[Adam Martin]

My dang sigh. That's rough, buddy.

[John Luke]

Oh, rough?

[Phil]

How do you.

[John Luke]

Hey, I was on fire.

[Adam Martin]

I bet what you do, jump in.

[Phil]

A tub or, like, vinegar coated or something? Is that one of them things?

[John Luke]

Like, Mama put me in the tub in cold water, and I think she did pour, like, two gallons of vinegar.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

Because back in them days, we canned everything.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

So we had plenty of vinegar. And it did. It did stop the burning. But I mean, that. I. I mean, my eyes. Okay. I'm lucky to be who I can see.

[Adam Martin]

So how'd you come out of that family? Being normal.

[John David Owen]

You just got mate.

[Adam Martin]

Sigh. Come on to me size. Pretty normal.

[John Luke]

Normal. How'd you make it? Hey, look, it was tough growing up.

[Phil]

He talks to him.

[John Luke]

Look, if you went outside of the house, it was no telling what was going to hit you. You might get run over by a wagon.

[Phil]

Y' all there like cow crap at each other.

[John Luke]

Oh, did we?

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

And look, the best one was. I think it was. What? I can't. I can't remember if it was one of the older ones or Tommy. I think it was Tommy one. Tommy. Tommy found a cow patty. Okay. About the size that bongo joint.

[Adam Martin]

About that six, eight inches. Around.

[John Luke]

Yeah, around. Perfect for putting on your hand. Okay. The top of it. Okay. Is sun break.

[Phil]

Oh, crusty.

[John Luke]

So it's crusty but not the middle. But hey, when you turn it over, it's soft. And look, he's standing behind the oak tree. I know he can. That tree in the yard. Well, hey, one of them either. Harold, I think it was Harold comes walking by and it's the old.

[Phil]

Just high in the face.

[John Luke]

Just in this. The runny side.

[Phil]

Well, yeah, you don't want to hold it. You'll get crap on your hands.

[John Luke]

Yeah, we used to have cal patty wars.

[Adam Martin]

Nope.

[John Luke]

Okay.

[Phil]

Yeah, we did all that. We throw them at everybody. Look, I want all ours were dry as a chip. If you. If you picked up the wet one, you couldn't sling it.

[Adam Martin]

So.

[John David Owen]

Yo, I'm out.

[John Luke]

Hey, I walked outside one day and hey, next thing I know, I'm. I'm knocked out.

[Adam Martin]

Okay, now who did it? Is one of these three.

[John Luke]

Nut green, hickory nut.

[Phil]

Yes.

[John Luke]

Pop that side.

[Adam Martin]

Dope up.

[Phil]

That's out.

[John Luke]

Mama wakes me up talking about you hot. And I said, what happened? I said, I walked outside. Next I know, I'm looking at you.

[Phil]

Lights out.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Cold water cannon. Look crazy.

[John Luke]

And I had. I had. I had a knot on my head. Sit back around on his back where he hit me. Man, y', all, Harold lost. No, no, Harold lost two teeth. Same thing.

[Phil]

You know where to send him.

[John Luke]

He was standing. Look, he was standing behind the oak tree, okay? Somebody slung it, hit the tree. And he stepped out, busted two front teeth out.

[Adam Martin]

Thanks.

[John Luke]

Hey, look. BB guns.

[Phil]

I'm glad I know y' all in yalls gentle years.

[John Luke]

Oh, no, no.

[Phil]

It's still pretty rough.

[John Luke]

Look, they made Jimmy Frank. Look, Jimmy Frank made all the kids in the neighborhood play football. What?

[Adam Martin]

He's the oldest.

[John Luke]

Oh, yeah, and he was me. You don't understand. Hobbs's Hales and Robertsons.

[John David Owen]

Yo, Y' all just fought all the time.

[John Luke]

Hey, hey. They were mean.

[Adam Martin]

There's a mean street. Didn't one of them back in.

[Phil]

Were y'. All.

[John Luke]

How's that film? How's that film?

[Phil]

Were y' all like militia? Huh? Were y' all like the local militia? Like in the patriarch that they went and got from down there in the swamps? Look, this past year has been one of the hardest in MyPillow's history. And it's because of folks like you, our listeners, that they're making it through. And MyPillow wants to thank you for your continued support by passing on some Christmas specials to our listeners. You can get the Children's Bible Story Pillow 5 pack for 29.98.

[John David Owen]

That feels like a great thank you.

[Phil]

My slippers with a free bottle of leather protectant spray for $39.98, blankets, comforters and duvets for as low as 25 bucks. And a blowout sale on the standard MyPillows for just $14.98.

[John David Owen]

It's the world's best pillow and he just makes it so affordable.

[Phil]

You, you still need a last minute gift for Jennifer Chad.

[John David Owen]

I've already ordered one.

[Phil]

Oh, you got some. Okay.

[John David Owen]

Use code duck at checkout there.

[Phil]

I hope so. We know MyPillow products come with a 10 year warranty, but MyPillow has just announced that they are extending their 60 day money back guarantee. Orders placed between now and December 25th will have their 60 day money back guarantee extended through March 1st of 2026. Wow. So whether you want to be like sigh and have a robe for every occasion or get the. Or get the best towels you've ever had, number one, cause of dry skin according to government. So go to mypillow.com or call 1-800-969-3137 and use the promo code Duck to take advantage of these wholesale prices. Including the standard size MyPillow originally 49.98, now only 14.98. Queens, 1899 and Kings just a dollar more. That's MyPillow.com duck and use the promo code.

[John David Owen]

I grew up next door to Sadie. We went and got snow cones, PlayStation.

[Adam Martin]

Nobody got hurt.

[John Luke]

Oh, y' all didn't hear the one about, you know. And till this day when we get together for a family reunion, the discussion was. Okay, here's the question. What was the wagon loaded with?

[Adam Martin]

What wagon? Sigh.

[John Luke]

The wagon that Jimmy Frank feels playing in the sand in the front yard. Jimmy Frank has been out chopping wood and Loading the wagon with wood for fire.

[John David Owen]

How big of a wagon?

[John Luke]

A regular What? Whatever. That size of, like a horse and wagon. Yeah.

[Phil]

Not like a radio flyer, like a.

[John David Owen]

Like a.

[Phil]

So on a stove.

[John Luke]

Jimmy Frank got Dan tied to the wagon owner. Okay. Loaded with. It was either loaded with pine straw for the garden.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

We have. Daddy always had a big garden of orange.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

Or it was firewood. Everybody, you know, Jimmy Frank said it was firewood. But anyway, Bill is, like, four years old. Okay. Playing in the sand. Jimmy Frank comes up and he's playing in the sand. And Jimmy Frank says, get out of the way, boy. Phil says, go around. Jimmy Frank says, giddy up. Hey. The wagon loaded with wood went across his belly. Front wagon, front wagon, back wagon. No, Jim Frank goes and. Go ahead. Takes it and unloads it. That's a house, you know.

[Adam Martin]

Dang. Now I can see why Phil was a hard man.

[John Luke]

No, no, no, Phil, no, no. Phil could do his belly and he could look like a pregnant woman. It would blow out just like a pregnant woman.

[Phil]

I do that, too, but nobody ever run over me.

[John David Owen]

I used to look like that was.

[John Luke]

Your favorite run over.

[Phil]

I got this from Johnny's feature.

[John David Owen]

Ran over him.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Adam Martin]

Dang.

[John Luke]

With a wagon loaded with wood.

[John David Owen]

The meanest things my cousin ever did.

[John Luke]

Hey, somebody, I don't know who come up with some pine straw. Because that's bald face lie. It wasn't pastrail, it was wood.

[Phil]

Why y' all hate each other?

[John David Owen]

Hey, my sister used to give me fat wedge.

[John Luke]

Telling you.

[Adam Martin]

I mean, I fought with my brothers, but nothing that bad.

[John Luke]

If the brothers didn't get you, the Hales would. And if the hell didn't, you know.

[Adam Martin]

Hey, they pull a pistol. They pull a pistol on you?

[Phil]

Yeah, me and my brother fought, but I was clumsy enough. Give me enough time, I'd hurt myself. He didn't have to hurt me.

[John Luke]

That's. Wow, bro.

[Phil]

I'd break a leg, break a hole.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, we had a little bit of fighting, but, yeah, running over with wagon.

[Phil]

And rubbing hot peppers all over you, that's just like.

[John David Owen]

I was way too little to fight my cousins because I was, like, by far the youngest, so I was pretty well protected.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John David Owen]

But I did get a lot of bat wedgies, which is where they pick you up by your own and then sing the bat theme song. It stinks.

[John Luke]

To being the loving person I really am.

[Adam Martin]

How'd you do that?

[John Luke]

I don't know.

[Adam Martin]

Well, your mama, you were her favorite. You told me.

[John David Owen]

The youngest.

[John Luke]

How old you? Young.

[Adam Martin]

The youngest boy there we go.

[John David Owen]

Yep. That's the most important. We're always the fun.

[Phil]

Oh, we got anything in the inbox? Voicemail we need to get to before we get out of here? Hunter, Hunter, anything? 3182. Oh, no. 2156559. There we go. 318-215-6559.

[John David Owen]

Or hello@duck call room.com.

[John Luke]

Have you had any experiences like I have me?

[John David Owen]

No.

[John Luke]

Send them.

[John David Owen]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil]

No. You're a Netflix documentary waiting to happen.

[John Luke]

Once again.

[John David Owen]

I just grew up next door to Sadie and John Luke.

[Phil]

They had a gate.

[John David Owen]

Yeah. Oh, we didn't have one back in.

[Phil]

What you got, Hunter? Hunter, you got one. Let's listen to one. We'll get out of here.

[Michael Keane]

Hey, guys, it's Michael Keane from Cleanview, Texas. My question is, if y' all were truck drivers, what would your CB handle be? And if y' all don't know what a CB is, it's what truck drivers back in the day used to talk to other drivers. It's a communication radio broadcast, something like that. But, yeah. Anyway, love the podcast. Oh, and Uncle Sa, I want to meet you before I go blind.

[Phil]

Love y' all, guys.

[Michael Keane]

Catch y' all later.

[John David Owen]

Are you going blind?

[Phil]

Like a very interesting turn.

[Adam Martin]

Maybe. Maybe he is.

[John David Owen]

We're praying for you, Hunter.

[Phil]

You didn't get to the end of that one, did you?

[John David Owen]

It didn't say. Well, hey. Well, if you are.

[Phil]

Michael. Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton. I think I got called King. Yeah.

[John David Owen]

Bolton Kyson Keaton.

[Phil]

Yeah. From Texas. Well, slide on over if you're going, bro.

[John David Owen]

Yeah, send us the email that tells us more about that, because I'm.

[Phil]

Well, I wonder if it's, like, diabetic.

[John Luke]

Mine would be a gunslinger.

[John David Owen]

Michael. Let us know.

[Phil]

Michael. Check back in, man. 318-215-6559. CB handles. They can, I'm sure.

[John Luke]

One night I fool around at the house.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

And I got every pistol I got, which I got a bunch of.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[John Luke]

And I found all kinds of hostages to put them in.

[Adam Martin]

I remember this picture.

[John Luke]

Yeah.

[Phil]

You just playing dress up or.

[John Luke]

I was just. I was just in a goofy mood. I walked in there to Christine and she said something. I said, hey, you better retract that. I'll have to kill you.

[Phil]

Hate to pistol Whippy. You gypsy.

[John Luke]

That's right.

[Adam Martin]

Johnny D. The gunslinger.

[John David Owen]

Mine would also be the same as my wrestling name.

[Adam Martin]

Oh.

[John David Owen]

Of the ozone.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah.

[John Luke]

What is that?

[John David Owen]

The ozone layer, son.

[John Luke]

The ozone layer.

[John David Owen]

I will brewing or protect the whole earth.

[Adam Martin]

I haven't decided which breaker 1:9.

[Phil]

But it is all up to me.

[John David Owen]

It is my choice.

[Adam Martin]

Gunslinger. Coming, gunslinger.

[John David Owen]

The Ozone layer, baby.

[Adam Martin]

They have to be the Philly Mac.

[John Luke]

The Silly Mac.

[John David Owen]

The Philly Sandwich.

[Adam Martin]

Million Breaker, breaker one two.

[John David Owen]

This is Ozone to Philly Mac.

[Adam Martin]

Philly Mac.

[John Luke]

Yeah. Come on now.

[John David Owen]

We're gonna head on down to the golden crowd.

[John Luke]

I'll shoot both of you.

[Adam Martin]

We're doing 98. Gonna crash the gate.

[John Luke]

Gonna crash the gate. Going 98.

[Phil]

They let them. I mean, it's hard for me to come up with a new name.

[Adam Martin]

J Mart.

[Phil]

I mean, is it?

[John David Owen]

Yeah, I mean, nah, that place stinks now.

[Phil]

Well, I know, but that's from Westboro.

[John David Owen]

You got that joke?

[Phil]

Yeah. Come on. I mean, horse would be Horsehead. Probably the best one. Thank you. Thank you. G.L. morris from McCrory, Arkansas. Or said I did FaceTime Goblin on opening day duck season. Because he was there. And I said, I want to see Mr. G.L. and he took me over. Mr. Y.L. sitting in his chair, you know, he 90 something now. And G looked at me, he said, well, Horsehead, he said, I saw your kids. Looks like you have a little horse head too. This 90 year old man still throwing shade at me. And I love Mr. Jerry Morris, by the way. He is one of the. Just a gym of a human. But yeah, sorry, Jackson, you are Horsehead. In fact, it happens. It is what it is.

[John David Owen]

You get it from your parents.

[Phil]

Yeah. So. Yeah, Horsehead. That is a good one. I didn't even think about horse head.

[John David Owen]

Ozone, Philly Mack and the Gunslinger.

[Phil]

Philly Mac and cheese. Well, the deal. You had a C.B.

[Adam Martin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John David Owen]

No, it was leftover Philly Mac.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah, something. Something way different. Yeah.

[John David Owen]

What was it?

[Phil]

BC Something before Christ.

[John Luke]

What was it?

[Adam Martin]

This is when I was 19. What was four?

[Phil]

Yeah, before Christ.

[John David Owen]

What was it?

[Adam Martin]

We used to use them all the time. Old Toby Red. You remember Toby Red?

[John David Owen]

We're changing the subject.

[Adam Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil]

No, no, he dodging this one next.

[John Luke]

Can't do it.

[Phil]

He treated this one like a ram.

[John Luke]

Now.

[Phil]

Yeah, Toby. All right, let's get out of here.

[John David Owen]

All right. Well, sometimes I do just go with the verse of the day. And I always just look it up just in case. Sigh. The verse of December 11, 2025 is John 3:17. Which is your favorite Bible verse. So why don't you hit him with it?

[John Luke]

17. Look, Jesus, he said, hey, I didn't come to condemn, judge you or condemn you. I came to save you.

[Phil]

There it is.

[John David Owen]

John 3:17. He did not send his son in the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

[Phil]

Boom, boom, bang. Merry Christmas.

[John Luke]

That goes to what we were talking about earlier on.

[Phil]

Life, Life. An abundant life. We'll see y' all next time. Right here in the duck call room. We're out.

[John Luke]

I'm going.

[John David Owen]

To it.