Uncle Si Pulls Off the Easiest Anniversary Win of All Time

Summary

Duck Call Room: Episode Summary
Title: Uncle Si Pulls Off the Easiest Anniversary Win of All Time
Release Date: April 10, 2025
Hosts: Si Robertson & Justin Martin
Guests: Russell Robertson

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Introduction and Welcome

The episode kicks off with Jase Robertson welcoming listeners back to the Duck Call Room, introducing their guest, Russell Robertson, without the usual delay. The hosts humorously comment on Russell's attire and grooming, setting a lighthearted tone for the discussion.

Anniversary Celebrations and Personal Stories

Si Robertson shares a heartfelt story about his anniversary meal at Church's Chicken. He recounts receiving a thoughtful text from his bride, urging him to stop at Church's Chicken for their anniversary:

"Don't stop at a church. Stop at Church's Chicken for my anniversary meal." — Jase Robertson [02:07]

Russell expresses admiration for Si's simple yet meaningful celebration, prompting a discussion on memorable anniversary traditions and the importance of thoughtful gestures in relationships.

The Tipping Culture: History and Modern-Day Practices

The conversation shifts to the tipping culture prevalent in the United States, with Russell providing a researched perspective on its origins and evolution. He explains:

"Industries without a wage generally offer the ability to tip. It's just an option, and people do it." — Willie Robertson [13:56]

Willie Robertson delves into the concept of "tip fatigue," highlighting how the increasing number of tipping prompts in various industries has led to annoyance among customers and confusion for tip earners. He further elaborates on the etymology of tipping:

"The tip comes from a 7th-century English slang acronym: To ensure promptitude." — Willie Robertson [21:09]

The hosts share personal anecdotes about their tipping habits. Willie emphasizes the importance of tipping honestly to support service workers:

"If I can tell somebody's having a bad day, it's going crazy that day... So I tip horrible service before." — Willie Robertson [25:20]

Managing Finances and Subscriptions

During the discussion, Jase Robertson introduces Rocket Money, a personal finance app designed to help users manage subscriptions and monitor spending. He explains its benefits:

"Rocket Money can help cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and negotiate lower bills for you." — Jase Robertson [34:13]

This segment highlights practical tools for listeners to take control of their finances, aligning with the show's theme of everyday life management.

The Debate on Carbonated Drinks

A humorous yet informative debate ensues about the health implications of carbonated beverages. The hosts share their personal preferences and misconceptions:

"You just force pressurized carbon dioxide into still water." — Willie Robertson [41:10]

Phil Robertson humorously criticizes the taste of carbonated water, while Willie shares a funny encounter with a customer who misinterprets his well-intended advice to drink more water:

"You must be one of them Biden guys." — Willie Robertson [36:51]

Baptism Practices: Immersion vs. Sprinkling

The discussion transitions to baptism practices within different Baptist denominations. Si Robertson passionately argues for full immersion baptism, drawing parallels to biblical accounts:

"If you don't put him in the ground, he's fixing to stink." — Si Robertson [52:43]

Russell engages in the conversation, exploring theological interpretations and the significance of baptism as a reenactment of Jesus' death and resurrection. The hosts emphasize the importance of understanding and adhering to biblical teachings in religious practices.

Light-Hearted Stories and Barber Shop Tales

Interspersed with serious discussions, the hosts share various humorous stories from their experiences, particularly focusing on barber shop anecdotes. Willie Robertson narrates an amusing incident where he inadvertently offended a customer by suggesting the benefits of hydration:

"You must be one of them Biden guys." — Willie Robertson [36:51]

These stories serve to keep the conversation lively and relatable, showcasing the camaraderie among the hosts.

Conclusion and Final Remarks

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on unity and appreciation, concluding with a biblical verse:

"How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity." — Psalm 133 [56:00]

They reiterate the importance of community, mutual respect, and supporting one another, both financially and personally.

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Notable Quotes

• "If I can tell somebody's having a bad day, it's going crazy that day... So I tip horrible service before." — Willie Robertson [25:20]
• "The tip comes from a 7th-century English slang acronym: To ensure promptitude." — Willie Robertson [21:09]
• "Industries without a wage generally offer the ability to tip. It's just an option, and people do it." — Willie Robertson [13:56]
• "How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity." — Psalm 133 [56:00]

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Key Takeaways

• Tipping Culture: Understanding the historical context and current challenges, including tip fatigue and its impact on service workers and customers.
• Financial Management: Utilizing tools like Rocket Money to manage subscriptions and control spending effectively.
• Personal Stories: The significance of meaningful gestures in relationships and the humor found in everyday interactions.
• Baptism Practices: The theological importance of immersion baptism and its roots in biblical teachings.
• Community and Unity: Emphasizing the value of living together in harmony and supporting one another.

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Duck Call Room delivers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions, making it both entertaining and informative for listeners seeking relatable content on everyday topics.

Transcript

[Phil Robertson]

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[Willie Robertson]

Hey, Lonzo Ball, it's your agent.

[Jase Robertson]

What's up?

[Willie Robertson]

I've got a commercial opportunity for you from Buzzball's. Ready to go. Cocktails. Nice. My last name is Ball. The product is a cocktail in a ball. I get it. That's what I thought too. But no, they want you for your hands. They think your big hands will show off the size of their new blue biggies Ball Big blue balls really get blue balls this season with buzz balls please you're responsibly.

[Phil Robertson]

Buzz balls available in spirit wine and.

[Willie Robertson]

Malt 15% alco by volume.

[Phil Robertson]

Buzz Balls LLC, Carrollton, Texas Ready, set, go.

[Jase Robertson]

Welcome back to the duck call room. Ladies and gentlemen. Today we are joined by. I'm going to do better I generally we get like 12 minutes into this before I introduce the guest but not today. Today we've got our friend Russell.

[Phil Robertson]

We talked about him.

[Jase Robertson]

We've talked about Russell recently and we'll, we'll get into that but welcome Russell.

[Willie Robertson]

Well, I'm glad to be here.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, look at there.

[Phil Robertson]

Even wore a camo shirt to fit in.

[Jase Robertson]

Look, everything fits but them glasses.

[Willie Robertson]

So yeah, look I'm a fancy. I'm a fancy hunter. I wear the Ray Bans with the, with the, the bifocal and the. And the progressive and. And they even turn dark in the sunshine.

[Phil Robertson]

There you go.

[Jase Robertson]

Look at there.

[Phil Robertson]

You know what I just learned when he walked in he had never met.

[Jase Robertson]

Sigh. Never.

[Willie Robertson]

Never.

[Jase Robertson]

As a man who's a professional barber, I can see why like their, their paths aren't.

[Si Robertson]

I'm on a little on the bushy side.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. They're passing a minute across and plus Sally gets his haircut by 70 year old plus females. So now I will say before we get into why Russell's here I got an interesting text while I was gone so we're filming TV show all day today. This is actually why the film crews on lunch. I get to be in here so like it's a. It's a. It's a day for me.

[Phil Robertson]

Not for me but I got a.

[Jase Robertson]

Text from size lovely bride that said if you have a chance before sa leaves ask him to stop at churches which if y'all don't know churches is a chicken place.

[Phil Robertson]

It's not it's not the local worshiping.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, no, not.

[Phil Robertson]

Not the chicken.

[Jase Robertson]

Don't stop at a church. Stop at Church's Chicken for my anniversary meal. Is it your anniversary?

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

And you get to be bailed out by going to Church's Chicken.

[Phil Robertson]

Did you know that it was your anniversary?

[Si Robertson]

Huh? No, this was just a nice way of. My wife reminded me via me, via Martin.

[Phil Robertson]

So it's your anniversary and you're gonna have Church's chicken.

[Si Robertson]

That's right.

[Jase Robertson]

God.

[Si Robertson]

A leg of thigh coleslaw.

[Jase Robertson]

Are we still talking about the chicken?

[Si Robertson]

Yeah. And. And two biscuits.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, two biscuits.

[Si Robertson]

See?

[Jase Robertson]

I don't know. Are we talking about the chicken? Right.

[Si Robertson]

And two biscuits.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. Okay.

[Si Robertson]

You know how many years it is in each meal?

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, okay. One for each of you.

[Phil Robertson]

How many. How many years is it? What year is this?

[Si Robertson]

Oh, good ballpark.

[Jase Robertson]

20.

[Si Robertson]

24. Like 54.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, well, they had that big celebration on his 40th. Is that right?

[Phil Robertson]

That was the 50th.

[Si Robertson]

Yes.

[Jase Robertson]

That was only four years ago.

[Si Robertson]

It goes by quick.

[Jase Robertson]

I was thinking about the one with, like, where they did the party, and so I bought her a new ring and like, all the. All the things, but I still can't believe that. Yeah, you got. Got on that one, so.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, you got God on that one.

[Phil Robertson]

Been able to pull off anniversary Church's chicken, Russell?

[Willie Robertson]

No, but I would love that.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, you got it. You gotta. You know, hey, when I married her, I put a. I put a cigar band on her. On her finger, allegedly.

[Willie Robertson]

This true story.

[Si Robertson]

All right.

[Phil Robertson]

No, that's my story, not her story, but it is.

[Si Robertson]

I know she said something about a 16 cheapo. And I said, well, you know, you got. You got one now, and it ain't a cheapo.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah, well, whenever I got engaged, my wife of 21 years, she conveniently got a job at a jewelry store because she got that employee discount. I took that as a sign and I got a great deal on a ring, so.

[Phil Robertson]

You made her buy her own ring?

[Willie Robertson]

No, no, no, no. She got it as a hint to say, I want you to marry me. And I got an employee discount here, so I would come buy it.

[Jase Robertson]

That's brilliant. How long does she work?

[Si Robertson]

Double whammy.

[Willie Robertson]

Just long enough to get the.

[Jase Robertson]

Just long enough to get the mail. I need to talk to your wife because she sounds like she's fat. Financially, she's frugal. Frugal, like myself. Fiscally conservative, as I like to call it.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Jase Robertson]

No. Well, yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Shut up.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Anyway, I'm Gonna be broke one day anyway. But that's because I don't. I did. What's funny is we brought Russell in to talk about a very important topic.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

It's sweeping the nation.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, it's in the news.

[Willie Robertson]

I got a tip all over today.

[Jase Robertson]

You got a tip? Did you put the tip jar out?

[Phil Robertson]

No, because I don't want to offend people, and that scares me. But I. Some guy, it was like 1806. He handed me two tens. He said, hey, you just keep it.

[Jase Robertson]

And I was like, look at God. Right?

[Phil Robertson]

I'm not getting taxed on this. $94.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, there you go, man. Look at God.

[Phil Robertson]

So that was my. My second tip I've ever got.

[Willie Robertson]

Did you like it?

[Phil Robertson]

I just put it in the cash register.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, the drawer. Just be over at the end of the day. Hey, when it's a family business, it all goes the same pot anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Like, Johnny D. Figures. He ate A$94 worth of chicken, shrimp, and fish last night.

[Phil Robertson]

I ate more than that. I was hurt when they. When Alex brought in pastries for everybody. I passed. I said, yeah, I'm hurting. But, Russell, how much do you get tipped? Let's just get real weird real fast.

[Willie Robertson]

Well, you know, since we're on the public airways and we're talking about governmental IRS and so forth, I think we don't know how much I get paid in tips, because it's a mystery. No, the truth is, I'll keep it that way. I'd like to keep it that way. No, the truth is I'm one of the rare. This is the truth. I'm one of the rare people who actually show my tips and actually pay taxes on them, just like it's real money, because I want to go to heaven, and I don't want to go to jail. So I don't like it, but I.

[Phil Robertson]

Don'T want to go to jail. And heaven sounds nice.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm out on jail. I mean, I'd like to do everything I could to keep me from there and everything. I can appreciate that. I also, got to be honest, I don't know that I'd show it all because, you know, give to Caesar. What? Caesar. Caesar. Been dead a while.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah. Now, there's a few little exceptions.

[Phil Robertson]

I give to Biden. What's Biden?

[Jase Robertson]

No, no, it showed.

[Willie Robertson]

It's a little cash tip or something. And then I. I don't. I don't show that. But if it's, you know, overwhelmingly, we deal with credit Cards. I don't know how far into this stuff y'all want to get, but we do most of our stuff with credit cards, and you got to show it. So if you show a tip on a credit card, it's just there. So.

[Phil Robertson]

So Russell owns the. What we call it the greatest barbershop in town.

[Willie Robertson]

I don't think it's. I don't think it's the greatest shop in town. It's the greatest shop in the world. In the world.

[Jase Robertson]

We're talking about in the world. But he does have two old model ducks hanging in there. Like they're from, like, 72, maybe 70 more dusty.

[Willie Robertson]

You know, everyone, including Willie Robertson, has not been able to identify those ducks. I think you got close.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, well, they're either model ducks or black ducks. And being in Louisiana, they're most likely model ducks.

[Phil Robertson]

But you shoot them yourself or.

[Willie Robertson]

I did not.

[Phil Robertson]

They like that shirt.

[Willie Robertson]

You just know. The truth is, I bought an old canoe that was like a decorator piece. You know, I was going to hang it up in the shop. For whatever reason, it didn't. It didn't jive with me. But when I bought it, the lady says, hey, you want them ducks with it? And I said, sure, I'll take those ducks. So I just stuck them up in the shop. So I'll take this.

[Jase Robertson]

A question on barbershops and tip.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, we're not. We don't go to barbershops. I recently started going.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

And I never know what to do.

[Jase Robertson]

I just. I got confused when I took. When I was there. Last time you saw me. We're talking about your son and his love for fishing, which is awesome. And we, me and him, will go fishing at some point.

[Phil Robertson]

On hopper 318. On the ground.

[Willie Robertson]

On hoppers.

[Phil Robertson]

Follow him.

[Jase Robertson]

Hey, let me just tell you something.

[Willie Robertson]

I don't have a lot of content lately. I'm a school busy.

[Jase Robertson]

I'm a pond hopper from way back, so I just like ponds that have a boat ramp. But now. Because I like to put my boat in. But the Bill Dance Jr. Over here. I was up there with the. Heck, yeah, man. Look at the fortune that guy's made. I'd love to get to Bill's level one day, but I had my boys in there getting a haircut. They're two. And my wife got upset at me because I didn't tip enough to the lady that the. The young lady that cut their hair.

[Phil Robertson]

You cheapskate.

[Jase Robertson]

I didn't even look. I just. They have a. Your screen. He can confirm this just has like an option for tips. Like there's four of them. I don't know how many. I went to the middle. I just went straight in the middle. Said that's got to be a fair number if it's in the middle.

[Willie Robertson]

Now you described a horizontal choice. The choice is actually a vertical.

[Jase Robertson]

Okay, there you go. So I didn't even.

[Willie Robertson]

Medium and the highest.

[Jase Robertson]

I just went right. Clarify that because I thought middle was fair. I was like, middle is fair. I didn't even look if it was a percentage. I didn't know if it was a standard.05, 10, 15. I didn't look at none of that. Whenever I'm at the final stages of a transaction, I'm ready to get out of there. Plus, I'll tell you, did I take. I took twin two year olds to get their hair cut and not. You can imagine how well things were going.

[Willie Robertson]

And if I recall, he came downstairs. So we have a two. We have. Our shop has two, two floors. I don't know that word just escaped me. Floors. We have an upstairs and a down. Well, his, his one that he was holding was being nice, but the one upstairs was having a fit. Yeah, he was downstairs trying to get away from all the action.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, I was downstairs because here's the deal. They're at the age now where if one of them gets upset, the other one gets upset. Like if, if Jackson gets pissed, so does Waylon and vice versa. They just think that, well, he's that way. I should be too.

[Phil Robertson]

Team championship.

[Jase Robertson]

But if you can remove him from it. Waylon was like, we went down the ducks, the deer, the, the goats and sat there and talked to Russell. I don't know if it's a goat.

[Phil Robertson]

Something like a petting zoo on the wall.

[Willie Robertson]

And I didn't buy, I didn't shoot any of them. Every one of them either bought off ebay or got them on loan. Never gave them, got them back.

[Phil Robertson]

Didn't shoot that zebra.

[Willie Robertson]

No, I've shot. You know what? I've never even killed a buck in my life. I've killed some does. I've shot two nubbin bucks and got fined from the deer lease because I thought they were does. But otherwise, no, I'm a. I'm a. I'm a horrible hunter. I'm a bad hunter. If you fish with me, you won't catch fish. If you hunt with me, you won't kill deer. So don't ever bring me.

[Jase Robertson]

That's why I'm going with this song.

[Si Robertson]

And he actually does lean down out of it.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Martin, you know what?

[Jase Robertson]

I'm not What?

[Phil Robertson]

A sucker. And I don't want our fans to get suckered in the same old free phone game by Big Wireless. When you hear free phone that comes with a lot of fine print like requiring you for you to sign up for four lines plus activation fees plus plus plus plus plus and at the end of the day you've paid for that free phone like three times over. There's a better way. Pure Talk, our sponsor and my wireless company. Where is my Pure Talk? Here it is. Has a much better offer. With a qualifying plan of just $35 a month, you can get a brand new Samsung Galaxy A26. Guess how much Rucker? $0 for free. That's right. This phone has virtually indestructible gorilla glass which is good for me because I'm rough on equipment and that captures beautiful wide angle photos with next generation camera lenses. I like taking photos and I need a phone that takes photos for social media.

[Willie Robertson]

You know what I'm saying?

[Phil Robertson]

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[Jase Robertson]

There you go.

[Phil Robertson]

Super easy. Fired my phone up.

[Jase Robertson]

Boom.

[Phil Robertson]

I was with Pure Talk just like that.

[Jase Robertson]

Keep your phone, get a new one. It don't matter. They do all of it. Keep your phone number, get a new one.

[Phil Robertson]

That's important. Keeping that number in case any of my friends from high school want to call me.

[Jase Robertson]

They don't.

[Phil Robertson]

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[Jase Robertson]

Okay, so what started the trend in tipping barbershops?

[Willie Robertson]

Okay, so I've looked up the history of it and if we want to get into like a book report, we can get in. So I looked at chat GPT because I also wanted to know the history of this. Yeah, and I'm a big fan of chat GPT. But so long story short is that industries without a wage generally offer the ability to tip. Okay, so Our shop is. They pay me a flat fee every week. And most hair shops either do a commission, which is just a commission split, or a booth rental, and ours is a booth rental. It's a flat fee. So in industries that don't have a wage, generally, like, gosh, think of industries that don't. Servers, waiters, they have a very small wage. And a lot of business owners that don't have a flat fee or a flat wage will offer a tip option. And that's the old history of it, to be real quick with that history. So it's just an option and people do it, and it's pretty cool. But I will tell you that I think tipping's gone crazy because I think the bulk of it is the company square, you know, that everybody's using to run payments from your credit card or whatever over your phone. They now put it in on everything so that if you go get a coffee, which those people at a coffee shop have a full wage, whether it's a living wage is another story. But it's a wage. It's minimum wage or whatever. But. So they're getting a full wage and they ask you what you want, and they press medium, this, that, and the other, and they flip the screen and you want a tip. I think that's crazy. And it's actually taken tips away from people who depend on tips, and it's made everybody annoyed with them.

[Jase Robertson]

So tip fatigue, if you will.

[Willie Robertson]

Tip fatigue is a word.

[Si Robertson]

See, I had a question about that. Because if it's included, like, if you go to a restaurant, if they say the tip included, does the waitress actually get the tip?

[Willie Robertson]

I believe so. I think usually in the U.S. in the U.S. i believe that's whenever you have a huge party, like a table of 10 or whatever, they just want to make sure that waiter or server gets paid. And so, yes, that that server should get the normal tip. They would. So let's just say they put a 20% in there. They'll get that unless the restaurant splits tips. And that's a whole nother deal.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, I got. I don't like that.

[Willie Robertson]

I don't like it.

[Si Robertson]

I don't like it because I don't think they actually get it. Well, you know, because I just. I just can't see the business doing that, keeping up with it.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, and it's one of the reasons I like to tip it in cash.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

So that I can hand it to them if they have to. You know, my wife used to be a server. Whenever we first met and stuff. And they would have to pay out, like, busboys. And the hostess, like, at the end of the night, they all got their cut of her tips, I guess, because they're technically one big team. But I've just never understood why not just make a. Wait if. If that's what's doing.

[Phil Robertson]

Where was your wife a waitress? Everywhere.

[Jase Robertson]

I probably ought not tell all this.

[Phil Robertson]

My wife was a waitress at the Red Lobster. Now, she made way more money than me working at the grocery store.

[Jase Robertson]

Next time Brittany's on, I'll let you ask her where her first job was. It's a good one. I don't want to spoil that one for her. But she did. So she worked in a college town, so she was at, like, sports bars and stuff like that. Yeah, like. Yeah, that's fun. Especially if you know her.

[Si Robertson]

It's in the news, and everybody's really upset about it, you know, and I just would make it. I've had so many experiences with waitresses. Okay. And, like, if. If, you know, if she's a fantastic person, good person out there and really works her tail off, you know, bringing me the food and everything, I feel pretty good.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, absolutely. I get annoyed at. Tip on to go. Stuff like, oh, gosh, like, yeah, but. You know what I'm saying. But, like, you order out, I get that person's work in that window. But, like, I. When. Whenever the lockdown was happening and they brought it to your vehicle. Absolutely. That was an extra step that was required of you. If it. Lord forbid, they bring it to my house or something, or you bring it to my house, that's a different deal, too. But if I physically have to get out, walk out there, grab a bag, and then turn around and leave, I'm like. I struggle with that one.

[Phil Robertson]

It's a weird one.

[Jase Robertson]

I struggle with that.

[Si Robertson]

Well, the reason I was saying about my story is that, okay, you know, I was. I just got paid. I was making good money. So I just, you know. You know, I don't remember what the meal was. Well, I just added $100 to it. And I said, you know, keep it. You know, this is for you. She brought down in tears.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

She said, you don't know what this means. And I said, well, you know, I've got it. You look like you need it. And she said, oh, I do. She said, my son just failed at a. You know, I had a bunch of, you know, teeth. Teeth repaired, you know, and this will help pay for it.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

But I just, you know, to me, it's just. It's only fair. Okay. If they give you good service. Okay. You know, you ought to. You ought to give them a good tip.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. And I'm a guy who's lived off of tips myself because I remember when I didn't have no money guiding duck hunts. Like, as a duck guide, you. The tip money is actually where you got paid.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

What.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, what?

[Jase Robertson]

Your day rate was nothing. Like if you didn't own the outfitter place. Like, you know, it's a difference in owning the shop or working at the shop kind of deal. Like, so if you didn't, you know. But what it did was forced you as a guide to put your best foot forward. Like you, you were inspired every day to wake up and have positive attitude because you knew that ultimately that is what was going to determine your tip. People understand ducks are ducks and wild things are wild things. So that didn't really matter. Like you, they know you can't control that. But your attitude and your storytelling and all the things like that that you do in the blind with them, that mattered.

[Phil Robertson]

That's the same as a barber. They don't care what they look like.

[Willie Robertson]

Leave.

[Phil Robertson]

They just want to.

[Si Robertson]

Anytime you've got a job where you're dealing with the people, the public. The public. When you're dealing with the public, that's a toughie.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Okay. Because look, they're hard to please.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, boy. Ain't they?

[Si Robertson]

No, no, no. And I'm serious, like you said. And if you didn't please them, well, you forget they ain't going to pay you much. They gonna probably just ignore you and don't even pay nothing.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

So is the.

[Si Robertson]

Okay. But they don't realize what I'm getting at. They don't realize the work that was put in to get you there.

[Willie Robertson]

Hard deal.

[Si Robertson]

You know, everybody. Somebody worked their butt off building duck blinds get, you know, doing all this stuff, you know, and the tip is a. Is a reward for that.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, yeah. For all the stuff you don't see. But that, that. And that's what I wonder, would you. If you did everybody to a wage, would then the service be so expensive people would just be called out of it? I mean, is that kind of the thought process to some of them?

[Willie Robertson]

This morning I called in my expert friend, Mr. Corey Barr, who's got the restaurants. We talked about this. Guess what? He was very much not for getting rid of tips. He likes tips. Yeah. Because he cooks good food. He cooks great food. But he said, your filet, that's. Now, what's a filet? I don't even know.

[Jase Robertson]

50 bucks.

[Willie Robertson]

50 bucks.

[Phil Robertson]

I bought one raw the other day for $22 and 11 cents.

[Willie Robertson]

So a $50 filet. He said, if you turn that into a wage, that's going to be $65 filet. So it's just going to go up. So in reality, you're going to, you're going to wind up paying the same money. Yeah, it's just going to be flat rate versus your, versus your tip. And I think that the. Look, look, this is a TED Talk.

[Phil Robertson]

No, hold on, hold on. I started laughing because we have never prepared for a single podcast in. We're like, we should bring our friend Russell in to talk about tips. And I said, it will be the first time somebody came in with research. He's researched it. He studied. He's called a few other experts.

[Willie Robertson]

While we're on the subject, do you know what the word tip comes from?

[Phil Robertson]

The etymology? He's going to know all these things.

[Jase Robertson]

All right, so just the tip. I don't know.

[Willie Robertson]

The tip comes from a 7th century English slang acronym. To ensure promptitude. Tip to ensure promptitude or to ensure performance. Now listen to this one. Now this is the difference between the American way. This is the old European way. Basically a. A little extra paid up front to encourage good service.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, that's the original pay to play.

[Willie Robertson]

How would you like. Would you rather slide a 20 and say, Help me out.

[Jase Robertson]

Keep them coming or is it I.

[Willie Robertson]

Pay you at the end? That's a little different.

[Phil Robertson]

I once had a friend going to the Waffle House. We will not say his name, but he was. He was. He was. How friends are in college when they show up to the Waffle House at 2am and he looked at that waitress dead and eyes and said, I'm about to tip you $70. What kind of service are we gonna get? And I was like, you are a jerk. That was so rude. And she said, the same as everybody else. And I was. And he goes, huh? She goes, I give everybody great service. And I was like, that's a pretty good answer because I was embarrassed. I waited for him to go to the bathroom and he left his wallet. And I paid for the meal and tipped her 100 bucks.

[Willie Robertson]

She had a good night.

[Phil Robertson]

On his. On his card.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. I wonder.

[Si Robertson]

His card.

[Jase Robertson]

That is. That is funny though. I wonder why it changed from before to after. I wonder if that was all the servers getting there saying, you know, I think we can make more if we wait till the end. Because if we do a good job, like they'll pay more. Where if it's just a standard 20 up front, like, we're all just going to make 20 bucks for every table.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

And, like, then does 20 not mean something? Then does four. Yeah. Okay. That is interesting.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah, I thought it's pretty cool now.

[Jase Robertson]

It's kind of like when you slide that politician. No, I'm kidding.

[Phil Robertson]

Whoa. That's never happened. That has never happened.

[Jase Robertson]

I think they call that grease in the wheels in that industry.

[Si Robertson]

But, hey, the wheel that squeaks gets grease.

[Phil Robertson]

It is so hard to get my.

[Jase Robertson]

Kid to eat healthy.

[Phil Robertson]

The other two are great, but that one, he's just trying to live on waffles.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. And I would argue that neither one of mine are overly healthy. They have, like, six things they eat no matter how many times you put new stuff in front of them. But we got something new to put in front of them now with our friends over at Beam Kids. There hasn't been a product that brought all things kids need into one simple supplement. A way that I could trust until today. And that's why we're so excited to introduce to you the Beam Kids, all in one super powder. It's even chocolate flavor. So that. That checks the box.

[Phil Robertson]

Super powder right there.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, it just launched, and you need to get your hands on it today. It has more than 40 essential ingredients to fuel healthy growth, including greens, pre and probiotics, fruits and vitamins. And what's even better, it comes in a chocolate milk flavor kids love.

[Phil Robertson]

Hold on. Everybody loves chocolate milk.

[Jase Robertson]

All the things come right here. All. All what you need to get your kids eating better, get them eaten healthier, and look, you want to. What else? Cool. It is absolutely pediatrician formulated so you know that you can trust it. And it was created by Olympic gold medalist and mom, Shawn Johnson. Y'all remember her? I remember her. That's right.

[Phil Robertson]

She was shorter than most.

[Jase Robertson]

Yes. Because she wanted to find a simple way for parents to feel confident about giving their kids the nutrition they need. All you got to do is mix one scoop of Beam Kids with eight ounces of water or milk. Whichever one you prefer or whichever one your child prefers. Shake, stir, or froth, and enjoy, making it a convenient addition to any meal or drink. So we just got it in. I will report back on what the boys think of it. Beam Kids is now available [e-mail] Duck. Because you're a listener to our show, you can take advantage of their limited time pricing of up to 35 off plus two free gifts using the code Duck. Get your Beam Kids and your free gifts by heading over to shop b e a m.com duck and enter the code duck. That's shop beam.com duck and use code dark for up to 35% off today.

[Willie Robertson]

Okay, let me ask you a question. Do you tip better on great service or horrible service? If somebody break. If somebody spills my drink and they're crying, they're having a bad day, it's obvious something's really going wrong. I'll leave them so much money because I'm like you. You need to know that everybody else probably going to not do good for you. I'm going to throw so much money at you. I tip horrible service before. Now, look, I tip across the board. But if I can tell somebody's having a bad day, it's going crazy that day.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, yeah. If I can tell they're having a bad day, absolutely. If it's from just a lack of attentiveness and they hate being there. No, you're not. You're getting the minimum out of it.

[Si Robertson]

You brought up a good point. Okay. Because it is true. Okay. Because I'm saying what if, you know, if it looks like, you know, everything's going wrong for this person.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. And that's obvious.

[Si Robertson]

Look, all you're showing is. Hey, look, look, at least me, I really appreciate you. What you do.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. You're putting a little compassion out there in the world, which is a good thing.

[Si Robertson]

I mean, I needed. Yeah, very much so.

[Jase Robertson]

But I also, you know, it's funny, I tip mostly, like at a food place off of not having to ask for something to drink.

[Phil Robertson]

He's. He's very thirsty.

[Jase Robertson]

I drink a lot of water.

[Phil Robertson]

Needs to be full.

[Jase Robertson]

I drink a lot of water. Hunter could make a tip right now if he got up and went and filled this up. But he stays so sick. I'm not sure I want him.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah, don't let him over there.

[Phil Robertson]

Hunter needs vitamins before he's ever mind.

[Si Robertson]

About my dad and mom. When you know, my father, okay. He was a real man. I guess I want to say old.

[Phil Robertson]

School would be a good time.

[Si Robertson]

Hey. When he got his tea glass emptied, all he would do was shake the ass.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. Rattle it. Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Look. And next thing mama would be pouring it and then she gets so mad.

[Jase Robertson]

At herself for doing it.

[Si Robertson]

For doing it. You know, it was. It was Larry to watch.

[Phil Robertson]

Would that work on your anniversary here if you go home and shake.

[Si Robertson]

No, no. My wife is the same way. Okay. But it makes her mad that she.

[Jase Robertson]

Shakes her cup and you fill it up.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Willie Robertson]

What's going to happen if you boys shake your glass around your wife?

[Jase Robertson]

That thing's going to end up upside my head. That or she's going to say, you should probably get up and go get you some.

[Si Robertson]

Well, no, no, but look, if I watched you and Brittany, you've got little quirks like that. Cause y'all love each other. And that's. That's what was so funny about watching my parents. Okay. Cause my dad never left. He'd forget sometimes, and she'd say, hey, you all need to turn around. I'm sorry. Cause he never left the house unless he kissed mama bye.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, that's good. I will say now that, you know, going back and thinking on it, back in my rougher days, when you would go out to the establishments at night.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, those. Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

For a drink.

[Si Robertson]

Yep.

[Jase Robertson]

When you'd walk up, if it were crowded, and if you walked up and you had that cash in your hand, you. You got. You got a lot.

[Si Robertson]

You got attention, of course, but you.

[Jase Robertson]

Had to get the pre. Then you got the worst. You got the pre tip and the post tip. You got it, you know, but you, like, if you was thirsty, you get.

[Phil Robertson]

Up there and money gonna make something happen.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, cash money makes the world go round in a lot of ways.

[Willie Robertson]

Have y'all ever been in a hotel where you slide a little something and say, can I get an upgrade? I've never done it, but I'd like to know, does a 20 get you better room?

[Jase Robertson]

Hey, we'll tell you a better trick than that. You just. When you fill out your credit card application, put Dr. On it.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Your credit card buddy.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

He said he was, you know, getting a credit card, you know, and I said, well, okay, you need to put your name on, sir. He put MD in front by the end of his name.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

And he said, you would not believe the difference in service they were running at him.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, yeah, they don't.

[Phil Robertson]

Painter.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, he's a painter.

[Si Robertson]

He's a doctor, but it's a.

[Willie Robertson]

You know, it's a fake doctor.

[Si Robertson]

I can't even pronounce the word. Okay.

[Jase Robertson]

What's the word? He calls it a paintologist.

[Willie Robertson]

I heard an expression a long time ago. It said, you have painters who drink and drunks who paint. What was your friend.

[Jase Robertson]

He's still alive, so I guess he's a painter. I guess he's a painter who drinks.

[Si Robertson]

No.

[Phil Robertson]

Thanks for coming on and ruining all.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, he's a little of both, baby.

[Phil Robertson]

Dr. Dean's baby.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

He said, he literally said, I put doctor. They treat you better at the motels.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. Oh.

[Si Robertson]

The kind of money he makes, he's.

[Willie Robertson]

About to be doing all right.

[Jase Robertson]

Which is what's funny, though, is on all those applications, if you go back and I. I had to look after. He don't. They don't require any certificate. Like, you just check. Mr. Mrs.

[Phil Robertson]

I'm doing it.

[Jase Robertson]

Lawyer. I mean, whatever you want to check. You can put it there.

[Phil Robertson]

Doctor of shiner.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. You're a fishologist.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, There you go.

[Jase Robertson]

There you go.

[Phil Robertson]

There's.

[Jase Robertson]

It got like.

[Phil Robertson]

How do you not know the word for.

[Jase Robertson]

I know, but I figured fishologist would be a lot easier for you to remember than ichthyology.

[Phil Robertson]

Well, that was rude.

[Jase Robertson]

No, it's just. I mean, ichthyology. An ichthyd don't come up in much.

[Phil Robertson]

Vocabulary now, so basologist. Anyways.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. It's interesting. I'm glad we've had this.

[Phil Robertson]

We have.

[Si Robertson]

We.

[Phil Robertson]

We have.

[Jase Robertson]

Now.

[Phil Robertson]

Now, we know.

[Si Robertson]

I didn't know that. Tip. Okay. They used to pay it forward.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, yeah. And if we were using the English. Well, no, I guess insurance.

[Phil Robertson]

We're not speaking English.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, I'm trying to think, should it be tip or tip? Which form of insurer would you. Yeah, you know.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah, that's the same thing.

[Jase Robertson]

It's.

[Willie Robertson]

I though.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

It's an eye there. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Well, you're trying to. I guess either way, you're ensuring it or insuring it, so you could really spell it however you wanted to. But I didn't.

[Phil Robertson]

I thought ensure with an E. Was that a protein shake for old people?

[Jase Robertson]

Well, it is. I mean, but that's to ensure that they stay here longer.

[Phil Robertson]

Just got it.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Just glad that all clicked just. Just then.

[Jase Robertson]

But you do have an extremely interesting occupation, Russell. So what's the wildest thing you've heard in a barber chair?

[Phil Robertson]

Well, because. And let's, like, we gotta. We gotta break down what kind of barber this man, because you might think Russell is just cutting, like, sa. And the old people around the honey holes hair. No, he. He's got, like.

[Jase Robertson]

He's a barber to the West Monroe Stars.

[Phil Robertson]

He's saved.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Like, aren't you?

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Willie Robertson]

Well, you are.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, boy.

[Willie Robertson]

You know, I think I am. Last I checked, I was. But yeah. Sadie comes to me. Bella comes to me.

[Phil Robertson]

He does. He does hair.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. Brittany does.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah, I do. I is.

[Phil Robertson]

I do.

[Willie Robertson]

I do. I do more women's hair than I do men. And I never wanted to learn how to do women's. Hair. But the woman who taught me made me.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, I got.

[Si Robertson]

I enjoy your job.

[Jase Robertson]

I mean, hey, you want him for an apprentice? For.

[Phil Robertson]

Okay, well, women pay better too.

[Willie Robertson]

This is what you do.

[Si Robertson]

This was talking about tipping. I want to get. The point is, hey, you know, your little appreciation.

[Jase Robertson]

I wonder if there's. I wonder if there's been a study on that. Who. Who. Which sex is better? Tippers, Males or fema?

[Willie Robertson]

I think a man client with a female hairstylist is the top of the. Of the top of the food chart.

[Jase Robertson]

Okay.

[Willie Robertson]

Or food chain.

[Jase Robertson]

I can say that.

[Si Robertson]

Say that again.

[Willie Robertson]

A man getting his hair cut by.

[Phil Robertson]

A woman will tip the most.

[Willie Robertson]

Will tip better. Yes. And a woman who's pretty and is a haircutter, she can jack a man's hair up, and he don't care as long as she's nice.

[Jase Robertson]

He ain't there for that.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, he could go in there for a haircut, come out bald, and he paid a $200 tick.

[Willie Robertson]

It don't matter. You don't care.

[Jase Robertson]

There you go.

[Phil Robertson]

But there has been a study done. I followed that category by me personally.

[Willie Robertson]

He's gonna book a haircut today.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, I'll tell you. I'll follow that guy.

[Phil Robertson]

I personally have done this study in the past decade. I've spent a grand total of maybe a hundred dollars at the barber shop, and my wife has spent maybe a million.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, that's.

[Phil Robertson]

That's rounded up. Yeah, probably. But women, you got to make more money cutting women's hair, huh?

[Willie Robertson]

Well, technically, yes, but if we're. What if. Well, welcome to my nerd side. I charge by time. So if I cut a man's hair, it's usually two blocks, which are 15 minutes each, 30 minutes. And I cut a woman's hair for 45 minutes. If you break it down, same dollar per minute.

[Phil Robertson]

Okay.

[Willie Robertson]

And color. I do make more money per minute. The most money I make per minute is color. But when it comes to cutting, same dollar per minute.

[Jase Robertson]

But that's because you could screw that up and have to redo it. Huh? I mean, I would put a price on that if something. And not, say, you. But if something could go terribly wrong.

[Phil Robertson]

I don't have any kids these days.

[Jase Robertson]

I'm just saying, you got blue hair.

[Phil Robertson]

Pink hair, purple hair.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, yeah, but I don't think that he's in the multicolor universe. I think we're more in hiding gray and.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

And doing. Hiding grays and add some little highlights, if you will, for. For Russell's client.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah, we Try to keep it natural looking.

[Phil Robertson]

Hey, Rucker.

[Jase Robertson]

Yo.

[Phil Robertson]

You got any subscriptions you forgot about, man?

[Si Robertson]

Several.

[Phil Robertson]

Well, at least you're honest about it because most people would say they don't have any. But we got an app that will let you know about your personal finance.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, I use Rocket Money.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, well, that's why.

[Jase Robertson]

There you go.

[Si Robertson]

There you go.

[Jase Robertson]

Look. Because Rocket Money is the personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings, which in your. Your case is very important. You got a new little one coming. Yeah, yeah. Like, extra money is a big thing. Them diapers don't pay for themselves, unfortunately.

[Si Robertson]

Expensive.

[Jase Robertson]

Look, you can see all your subscriptions in one place. And if you see something you don't want, Rocket Money can help you cancel it. Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all your accounts. And you can create a personalized budget to help keep your spending on track. Get alerts if bills increase in price or there's unusual spending activity. Plus, the new goals feature automatically saves money for you. We about. Yeah, no, it is the first of the month, so then bills going to start rolling in and you're like, man, this just seems too high. You need to. You need to get Rocket Money. They can help try to negotiate to lower your bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service so that you ain't got to. Which everybody knows. That's the one thing that keeps you from calling and asking is having to deal with customer service.

[Si Robertson]

Exactly.

[Jase Robertson]

So Rocket money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million. That's half a billion. And canceled subscription saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of the app's premium features.

[Phil Robertson]

That's more money. Martin.

[Jase Robertson]

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com today. That's RocketMoney.com one more time. RocketMoney.com.

[Phil Robertson]

I got good stories of old men getting in fights. You got to have like, you got to have the dirt on all.

[Jase Robertson]

I mean, people are like really let their guard down to a barber, right?

[Willie Robertson]

Big time. So let me tell you a funny story that happened recently. This guy comes in.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, no, this.

[Willie Robertson]

Oh, this is great, dude. I have a thousand of these.

[Si Robertson]

You're like in a bar. You're the way. Are you. I'm a Bartender, the man that mixes drinks.

[Willie Robertson]

Oh, yeah, I got all the stories.

[Si Robertson]

Ain't no alcohol involved.

[Willie Robertson]

You just keep them laughing and everybody's happy. But. So this guy comes in, and I could tell him and his wife were sort of. I don't know, sort of disagreeable. And this guy, I don't know, just had a certain look about it. Well, he wanted a haircut and a shave and all that, but I wasn't doing him. My barber, to my. To my right was doing it. Well, I kept hearing him talk about how he doesn't drink any water. He drinks lots of Diet Coke and Dr. Peppers and all this.

[Phil Robertson]

Martin hates him.

[Willie Robertson]

Sodas. Tons of sodas.

[Jase Robertson]

Did you cut Gimber's hair?

[Willie Robertson]

He said, this guy says, man, I bet I drink 10 or 12 Dr. Peppers a day. Whatever, some soda. And I just couldn't help myself. And I just couldn't. I just was. I couldn't focus. I was listening to this guy, and finally I just said, sir, man to man, friend to friend, you may want to consider a little bit of water in your life, you know, just to hydrate a little bit, you know, just a friendly deal. Well, he got so mad once he left, the shop was full of people. He stops and he turns around loudly. This is just recently. And he goes. He looks at me, says, you must be one of them Biden guys.

[Phil Robertson]

Because he, like.

[Willie Robertson]

Because I offered him water. I'm liberal. I said, now, that ain't. Now, that's. I've never heard that before. But I'm just, you know, just man to man. Just go get you a little hydration. But anyway.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, we just tried to get some of that sugar and caffeine out. You big dog. Like, it ain't no liberals drink water.

[Phil Robertson]

Conservatives have boats on top of the water.

[Jase Robertson]

That's exactly right. Yeah. Conservative propaganda.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, man, that.

[Jase Robertson]

That's. Yeah. I can't imagine the stuff that people.

[Phil Robertson]

Martin's a liberal because he drinks more water than anybody I know.

[Jase Robertson]

That's all I drink is water.

[Phil Robertson]

You drink so much water.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, the problem.

[Si Robertson]

The problem is colon diet, and all in a good way.

[Jase Robertson]

It ain't good for you, but, man, they should taste good. But I could be that guy drinking 12 Dr. Peppers a day if I wouldn't. I mean, I just have to make myself not. Like, I just don't buy them. Don't look at them.

[Phil Robertson]

Your barber looked at you and said, you might want to consider water, and you took it to. No, didn't accuse him of being a Democrat.

[Jase Robertson]

No. The neurosurgeon said, if you don't want me to cut your back, you may want to make some life changes. And I said, you know, I think I will.

[Willie Robertson]

I'm gonna listen to that.

[Jase Robertson]

And the easiest thing to cut out was anything carbonated, whether it's beer or Dr. Pepper or anything like that was a simple decision for me.

[Phil Robertson]

Like, you're carbonated.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, I mean, it bubbles, so I don't know. It's got. It's got some kind of. It's got some kind of something. And here's what I know. Things that bubble generally ain't very good for you. Yeah. In the grand scheme of thing, whether, you know, whether it's your inside or the outsides, if it bubbles ain't very good.

[Phil Robertson]

So it's your outside, your.

[Jase Robertson]

So I'm a. I'm a flat water guy.

[Willie Robertson]

Water going to go so recently.

[Phil Robertson]

Sparkling water.

[Willie Robertson]

I was. I was talking to one of my. My kids. I think it's my son who's 17 now, and we were talking about carbonated drinks. And somebody says. And I admit I wasn't the greatest student in the world, but somebody says, how do you think they carbonate stuff? And I said, I have no idea how they add carbonation to stuff. And he says, they add carbon to it. And I said, is that true? I have no idea. But he acted like I was a dummy for not knowing that.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, I think. Is it. It's carbon dioxide, right? Like how you shoot it full of gas. I don't know. It's.

[Willie Robertson]

Y'all don't know either.

[Phil Robertson]

Now, does that make you feel better? Much better.

[Jase Robertson]

That ain't ever. That ain't never something that I've. I guess I've ever thought that that may be useful in my life. So I've known that process.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

But I know you can do it at home now. Like, they have them things where you. You shove your water if you want to make it bubbly, like, you know that stuff at home. But I think it's just. Hold on. Y'all think it's a CO2 cartridge?

[Phil Robertson]

I tried to bring this up a second ago. And you can say whatever you want about Cokes being bad for you or Dr. Pepper, but that sparkling swill water that they drink in England and stuff, that is disgusting.

[Willie Robertson]

What you.

[Phil Robertson]

Carbonated water.

[Jase Robertson]

The stuff they drank on Ted Lasso. Whenever he spits it out.

[Phil Robertson]

And he's right about it.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. Me and Ted, you know, my question.

[Si Robertson]

Now is, how do they get that thing to bubble and fizz?

[Jase Robertson]

Well, Johnny D got the Internet But I think it's carbon dioxide gas.

[Willie Robertson]

They just put some carbon in it.

[Jase Robertson]

Now, carbon ain't carbon just going to turn it black.

[Phil Robertson]

How do you get carbonated water?

[Si Robertson]

Carbon is very important. Hey, they can. You'll tell how old you are back millions of years ago by carbon dating.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, 360 million years ago.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, I don't believe that bull. You have no idea what happened a billion years ago.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, they don't even know what happened 300 years ago. I like when they're like, oh, no, the weather was doing this 300 years ago. I was like, we didn't have a weatherman. No, we didn't have nothing.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, tell me why you do the carbonated water.

[Willie Robertson]

I'm trying to find.

[Phil Robertson]

You just force pressurized carbon dioxide into still water.

[Willie Robertson]

He was right.

[Jase Robertson]

There you go.

[Phil Robertson]

You shouldn't call it still water. It's just water. Yes, it's the only way it should be just water.

[Willie Robertson]

Can I. Can I confirm something right here on the airwaves? Your son was wrong.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. Take that.

[Si Robertson]

Well, that can't be good for you.

[Jase Robertson]

What? Putting. Putting carbon dioxide gas in the water dioxide. I mean, you wouldn't think so, but like at the same time you exhale carbon dioxide, right? Like so there it was.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, but that's to get it out of your system.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

You don't want it in there.

[Si Robertson]

Ain't bad. Which is bad.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, well, too much. It's better than monoxide. But that stuff, it's a whole different deal. Yeah, that stuff could turn you.

[Si Robertson]

Because I'd like to know all the like. Okay, does it make a.

[Phil Robertson]

Parts of fat, carbon dioxide?

[Jase Robertson]

The gas won't. It's all the stuff that comes with it. Right. To make that palatable of a drink, you add sugar. You had.

[Phil Robertson]

It don't taste good unless you're British. They'll just drink that.

[Si Robertson]

That's why I accidentally grabbed the wrong thing one day and drank a Diet Coke that my wife drinks all the time.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, no. That stuff. A key.

[Jase Robertson]

Diet Coke.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, grief.

[Phil Robertson]

What did it do?

[Si Robertson]

Number one, it's got a horrible taste. Okay. Number two. Dob. I guess I've been on this too long.

[Phil Robertson]

Tea.

[Si Robertson]

Okay. That has not. No. You know. Yeah. Everything in that, the doctors tell me is good for me.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. The only.

[Willie Robertson]

Does you put sugar in it?

[Si Robertson]

No.

[Jase Robertson]

No.

[Willie Robertson]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jase Robertson]

No, not. No. No.

[Si Robertson]

There's a.

[Phil Robertson]

There's. There's a hefty amount of acid. Lemons.

[Si Robertson]

And look how dark it is.

[Willie Robertson]

It's dark.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

That's tea.

[Jase Robertson]

His does have quite a bit of citric acid into it by the time he gets done with it. But the.

[Phil Robertson]

His kidneys work like that.

[Si Robertson]

It's good for you because I drink two gallons a day, but overall.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, you really did.

[Si Robertson]

He said, hey, you have any problem with going to the restroom? I said, not a bit. I go all the time.

[Willie Robertson]

Let me tell you something.

[Jase Robertson]

I don't have any problems.

[Willie Robertson]

I gotta go every hour when I drink coffee. If I drink too much coffee, I wind up having to go to too many number ones in the bathroom. Tea. I can't go to sleep. I just pee until midnight. I pee like crazy after I drink tea. I don't. I don't drink tea.

[Jase Robertson]

It is a diuretic something and it's a diuretic. I don't know.

[Si Robertson]

Well, it's good for your kidneys.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, it's good to flush your system. Clearly it's okay that you need it flush daily, but. But the. Yeah, no, that stuff. Yeah. Carbonated drinks in general.

[Si Robertson]

I guess the reason.

[Jase Robertson]

But I think it's everything that comes with it.

[Si Robertson]

I think so. It's hard about the additives.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. I don't think it's the carbon dioxide. It's the stuff that it takes to make it taste good.

[Phil Robertson]

Beth, did the Canadians drink carbonated water? Like when they go to the restaurant? Do you have to specify which water you want? Okay, yeah, around here, Canada's smart, too.

[Jase Robertson]

Around here it's just steel or it's just tap or bottle. Which is a real question if you're not from here. Because our water got a little wing to it.

[Si Robertson]

I'll take.

[Phil Robertson]

Say our water got lots of vitamins.

[Jase Robertson]

They're brown.

[Si Robertson]

Or bottle. Get the bottle.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, well, I grew up on West.

[Jase Robertson]

See, now you look at them people and they say the bottle of water is killing you because of all the microplastics in it. So, I mean, where do you.

[Phil Robertson]

We can't drink water.

[Willie Robertson]

I was just told by my wife the other day.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, boy.

[Willie Robertson]

Speaking of microplastics, all of us have the equivalent to a plastic spoon worth of plastics in our brains.

[Jase Robertson]

That's what I was talking about.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, your brain.

[Willie Robertson]

Well, I don't know. It's a good question. But, you know, I said only one spoon. I think I'm okay.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, I'm working on at this point. I'm working on a fork too. Like, you know, as long as there's.

[Phil Robertson]

Not a spork in my head, I'm fine.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, yeah. No, that is a real deal that they're talking about now is that. That's one of the things Brittany's on for the boys is like the microplastics and eating up plastic.

[Phil Robertson]

Now, look how good, like, oh, all of that turned out.

[Jase Robertson]

But I'm saying, like, in our house, Tupperware gone. It's all glass. Like, all that stuff. There's no more.

[Phil Robertson]

You know, there's a line I draw.

[Jase Robertson]

What's that?

[Phil Robertson]

Very hard in the sand. If I come to your house and there's paper straws, we will not be friends.

[Jase Robertson]

No, no, no, no. Paper straws.

[Phil Robertson]

Paper straws are of the devil.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

They were tricked by Satan himself to upset us and ruin our beverages.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. They've had paper straws for years, and they put them inside paper towel rolls. I don't know why they thought you should ever drink that.

[Phil Robertson]

That's the worst thing in the world.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, that's dumb. Yeah, straws really are horrible. Yeah, I'm anti.

[Si Robertson]

I know who started that.

[Jase Robertson]

Who?

[Si Robertson]

Democrats.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, here.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, here we go. Them water drinkers.

[Jase Robertson]

Them dad gum. Water drinkers. Water better.

[Si Robertson]

That's right. The Democrats done it for us.

[Phil Robertson]

Them water drinkers. What do I want to search for today that grows fast?

[Jase Robertson]

Well, you can search for anything, because our friends over at Fast Growing Trees, they have everything. And spring is here, so it's time to get outside, spruce up your yard.

[Phil Robertson]

Hey, there's a spruce tree.

[Jase Robertson]

I know, I saw it.

[Phil Robertson]

Here's size trees.

[Jase Robertson]

Hey, cherry trees.

[Si Robertson]

Fruit trees, boys.

[Phil Robertson]

Peach trees, which is a baby lemonade. Blueberry. Okay, hold on. I gotta read this back.

[Jase Robertson]

Y'all should know. Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers. Fast Growing Trees offers a wide variety of plants, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, and shrubs, all tailored to your climate and space with an easy online ordering process and quick delivery straight to your door. Plus, with their alive and thirst thrive guarantee and expert support, your plants will arrive healthy, and you'll receive guidance on choosing the right plants and learn how to properly care for them.

[Phil Robertson]

Type your zip code in, they'll tell you what zone you are.

[Jase Robertson]

I'm.

[Phil Robertson]

We're Zone 8 here in the great city of West Monroe, Louisiana.

[Jase Robertson]

Look at there.

[Phil Robertson]

So if it says it grows in zone 8, I can buy it and I can grow it, and I hear they grow pretty quick.

[Jase Robertson]

And you ain't got to spend all weekend driving around the garden centers choosing from seven different plants, because that's what everybody around here likes. You can be your own person. It's super simple. They do all the legwork for you. All you got to do is get on there and find something you like. Trust me, with over 6,000 options, you'll find something that.

[Phil Robertson]

There's many options.

[Jase Robertson]

This spring, they have the best deals for your yard. Up to half off on select plants and other deals. And listeners to our show get 15% off their first purchase when using the code at checkout. That's an additional 15% [e-mail] using the code Duck at checkout. Fast Growing Trees.com code Duck. Now's the perfect time to plant. Use duck to save. Today. Offers valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions apply.

[Phil Robertson]

Russell is a conspiracy. Do you think we landed on the moon, Russell?

[Willie Robertson]

You know what? I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I.

[Phil Robertson]

You didn't answer that question. Very straightforward.

[Willie Robertson]

I don't. Yeah, we made it on the moon. Why not?

[Jase Robertson]

I'm the same way. I mean, I have to. Because it's a fabric of my childhood. But the more Johnny D just says, why haven't we been back? The more I'm like, you know, the.

[Phil Robertson]

More you look at it.

[Jase Robertson]

And the part that I can't drive two miles from here and not have cell phone service, but we got a beautiful TV shot from the moon and.

[Willie Robertson]

Audio with no latency.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, it makes it a little tougher to believe.

[Phil Robertson]

Have you watched that movie Fly Me to the Moon?

[Si Robertson]

Hey, this is this. Okay? You're. A man's on trial for his life. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I got a lot of doubt.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. Oh, there's reasonable doubt.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, there's reasonable doubt. Okay.

[Jase Robertson]

To see just how far we haven't come in 20, 25 versus. To think that, man, we beat everybody there. I'm like.

[Phil Robertson]

And. And then they were like, well, they win. No, nobody wanted to come in second.

[Jase Robertson]

But I'm still going to believe my textbook just because I had to. I mean, I took a test and saying that was the right answer. I don't want to be called a.

[Phil Robertson]

Liar like I've been called worse.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah, I probably will in this comment section.

[Willie Robertson]

What year did we hit the. The moon, supposedly? 60 something.

[Phil Robertson]

See, I refuse to even look that far into it.

[Willie Robertson]

Well, look, 60 something. We landed on the moon. 2025. We're eating Tide pods. I mean, that's what we're at. You know?

[Phil Robertson]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Are people still eating Tide pods, Russell.

[Willie Robertson]

Pregnant women.

[Jase Robertson]

Really?

[Phil Robertson]

Russell has a news station that not the rest of us get. It's actually fascinating.

[Jase Robertson]

GPT.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, I think. I think he's just reading comic books until.

[Willie Robertson]

Let me tell you the best thing we. So y'all go to different pizza nights? We got to get on the same pizza night, by the way, at his house.

[Jase Robertson]

I think that's just too much for them to handle.

[Willie Robertson]

Last time we had a pizza night, we played. The game that I invented on the way over there is the best game I've ever invented.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh.

[Willie Robertson]

It's called how many dollar generals do you pass from this point to that point?

[Jase Robertson]

Two points in this town.

[Willie Robertson]

And you start and you finish and how many do you pass on the way? It was a good game.

[Jase Robertson]

It was. If you start at size house and you go to Johnny D's house, all of. Well, no, no, you ain't gonna be able to. But depending on which way you go, you can get to two hands. Probably.

[Phil Robertson]

Like, that's the kind of stuff Russell shows that. He's like, hey, man, I've been thinking about something. I really need to get your input on it. I'm like, oh, man. Yeah. Been going through something. He's like, yeah. So I was thinking about all the dollars.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, here's another one. Okay. If you start. If just like. All right, West Monroe and Monroe. Go and see how many denominations are a religious.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, boy. Hear about church. Missile going.

[Si Robertson]

Church building.

[Phil Robertson]

Church buildings, Russell, you have the floor about what?

[Willie Robertson]

The church buildings.

[Jase Robertson]

Why are there so many of them?

[Willie Robertson]

Well, well, because they all fought about something and they split.

[Si Robertson]

Split.

[Willie Robertson]

You know, I used to get mad about denominations, but I don't get so mad about it anymore. But I will tell you the dumb.

[Si Robertson]

I don't get mad.

[Willie Robertson]

I used to get mad about it.

[Si Robertson]

Because I did, too.

[Willie Robertson]

But I'll tell you the dumbest church split I've ever heard. This is not fact. So I'm just going to say what I was told. Two churches about 100 years ago in Ruston, that's where I'm from is Ruston. I live here now. So evidently, the one Baptist church and another Baptist church all started from the one Baptist church and they disagreed on when you baptize, one believed you should go back first and one believed you should go face first. And they split over that.

[Jase Robertson]

For real.

[Willie Robertson]

That's the dumbest church split I've ever heard.

[Si Robertson]

No, no.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, no.

[Phil Robertson]

There's some crazy ones out there.

[Si Robertson]

Look, it goes.

[Jase Robertson]

It goes by the interstate where they wanted in.

[Willie Robertson]

I honestly think they might have been.

[Jase Robertson]

Were they front or back? Guess what?

[Willie Robertson]

These days, they're both back. They both go back.

[Jase Robertson]

Everybody going back. Now.

[Phil Robertson]

Russell, at Our church. Sometimes them people's elbows don't get all the way under. And I get nervous because, well, I grew up. You had to get submerged.

[Si Robertson]

That was just fixate. There's a lot of discussion goes on. Oh, can I just sprinkle it and make it. Or do I have to be buried?

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Well, here's the deal for all of you, okay? You need to read what the Bible says and understand it. Okay? There's something happening when you go into that water, because if it doesn't happen, you just got wet.

[Willie Robertson]

Yep.

[Jase Robertson]

Got baptized by water.

[Phil Robertson]

I got wet one time.

[Si Robertson]

There's a story behind this. Okay. You're reenacting Jesus. Death, burial and resurrection.

[Jase Robertson]

So back or front?

[Si Robertson]

Huh? It don't matter as long as you bury that.

[Willie Robertson]

Those two searches, those two churches would say you can't stay here because you had to have an opinion on that.

[Si Robertson]

Nope.

[Jase Robertson]

Well, no, no, I said as long as you bury him, it don't matter how you kill them. Just kill him.

[Si Robertson]

See, they don't understand what's going on.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

If you're reenacting Jesus's death, burial and resurrection, well, hey, guess what? Jesus died physically. And if you don't put him in the ground, he's fixing to stink.

[Jase Robertson]

Yep. Oh, that's right.

[Si Robertson]

Okay.

[Jase Robertson]

Get him out of there.

[Si Robertson]

So there was a burial that took place.

[Willie Robertson]

So what you're saying is you buried.

[Si Robertson]

The old man of sin.

[Willie Robertson]

Yep.

[Si Robertson]

Okay. And then when you come up out of the water, God speaking, you are now. I've cleaned you. My son's blood has cleaned you. Okay? You are a new creation.

[Phil Robertson]

Hey, Russell, did you know bad things about that happens to be a thing he loves.

[Willie Robertson]

Oh, I love it.

[Si Robertson]

No, no. Because without that, okay, you're not going to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

[Willie Robertson]

Amen.

[Si Robertson]

Okay, so, hey, look, you know, and the Baptist, Okay, I've studied with a lot of Baptists, and I said, wait a minute, y'all. Some of y'all argue you don't have to do this immediately. You're missing the point. What did the Bible say every time you read about somebody coming to Christ? They went to the water immediately.

[Willie Robertson]

Immediately.

[Si Robertson]

When they was in jail. And they baptized the jailer. They didn't wait. They baptized him right there on the spot.

[Willie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

And, hey, the reason they did it, okay, because, hey, like I said, the story is, okay, you are reenacting Jesus. Real horrible death, his real burial. They put him in a tomb. And then, hey, and then the great part, his resurrection. He raised God, raised his son from the Dead. Okay. And Jesus, his son has promised that to all that believe in him. Okay? So. Hey, look, there's too much going down here to get confused at. Oh, should I push him forward or backwards? It don't matter. Make sure he's buried.

[Willie Robertson]

I agree. So what you're saying is if you're dead, you don't matter how you go your dad.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, you don't care.

[Jase Robertson]

Hey, I will say if you were going to put me in a casket, I wouldn't care which way you put me in there.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Phil Robertson]

Some people say her feet first in a casket.

[Jase Robertson]

Yeah. But some of them say bear your face up. That way you can tell the whole world to kiss your rear end. Right.

[Phil Robertson]

That'll be face down.

[Si Robertson]

That's right.

[Jase Robertson]

That's what I'm saying. Like. But the. Now, Russell, thank you so much for coming.

[Phil Robertson]

Russell is an expert on tip. Should we tip our preachers?

[Willie Robertson]

No.

[Phil Robertson]

Okay.

[Jase Robertson]

That's called tithing. The. Wow. Lord, I apologize.

[Phil Robertson]

I have a funny story about that. Real quick.

[Si Robertson]

I will say this about our preachers. You need to appreciate it.

[Jase Robertson]

Hey, we do. Look, ain't no doubt about it.

[Phil Robertson]

I gave our.

[Jase Robertson]

But I want to know what. Now that you know Russell, can we book you a day to go get pampered by Russell? I want to see Russell cut size hair.

[Si Robertson]

No. Have you got a woman barber?

[Willie Robertson]

We gotta. We got a whole building full of them.

[Jase Robertson]

Oh, yeah, he'll tip well.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, look, I will let. Russell can't come out here, but I will let one of them good looking.

[Jase Robertson]

He said. He said Russell can pull up me.

[Si Robertson]

Up and he's escaped my beard.

[Willie Robertson]

Oh, Lord.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, God.

[Willie Robertson]

Trim it up.

[Phil Robertson]

He's got some of this pastry still in his beard.

[Jase Robertson]

Look at there. Praise the Lord.

[Si Robertson]

That's when you know you ate right. If you don't get in your beard, you didn't eat right.

[Phil Robertson]

Now that is rock and roll.

[Si Robertson]

I read that. Believe it or not, I think I fully agree.

[Phil Robertson]

Verse of the day. Here's how we end it. Psalm 133. 1 How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity.

[Willie Robertson]

And everybody said amen.

[Si Robertson]

Amen.

[Phil Robertson]

Whether you're baptizing forwards or backwards, just believe in Jesus is what we're at.

[Jase Robertson]

And tip your barber.

[Phil Robertson]

And be sure to tip your barber.

[Jase Robertson]

Russell, thank you for joining.

[Si Robertson]

Completely covering, boys.

[Jase Robertson]

All right, we'll see y'all next right here in the duck call room. We're out.