Uncle Si & Justin Martin Plan to Book a Phone Call With Joe Exotic

Summary

Duck Call Room Podcast Summary

Episode: Uncle Si’s Goofball Comment Made the Front Page of the New York Times
Air Date: March 3, 2026
Hosts: Si Robertson, Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo

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Episode Overview

This episode is a raucous blend of the Duck Call Room’s signature banter and storytelling, with the gang gathering to reflect on Uncle Si’s infamous comment about atheists (and aliens!) making the front page of the New York Times. The conversation spins off into tall tales from media appearances, alien conspiracies, pet giraffes, road rage, and Southern living quirks. Throughout, themes of faith, family, and the simple pleasures of rural life shine through, all wrapped in the guys' trademark humor and camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Uncle Si’s “Front Page” Fame & The Atheist (and Alien) Remark

• [02:45] Si and Martin recount a past media firestorm after Si said, “there’s no such thing as an atheist,” which made headlines. The group jokes about the irony of people who say they believe in "nothing" getting mad about someone not believing in them.
  • Quote:
    • Martin: “Uncle Si says there ain’t nothing such as... atheists.” ([02:55])
    • Sigh: “Does anybody think it’s ironic people who said they don’t believe in anything get upset that Si doesn’t believe in them?” ([04:30])
• Si retells his Vietnam foxhole story, suggesting “atheists” still call for help in dire times, which touches off debate and camaraderie among the group.

2. Are There Aliens?

• [01:54 - 17:00] The conversation segues into UFOs, presidential disclosure (a la Trump & Obama), and playful speculation.
  • Some think declassifying government “alien files” is a political distraction; others wonder if aliens could be real.
  • Quote:
    • Hunter: “I just asked chat GPT if we had aliens. It said, short answer: we don’t know yet.” ([05:40])
    • Martin: “If we had a machine that would never run out of fuel, you wouldn’t be able to see all of God’s creation.” ([08:43])
• The group plays with the definition of “alien,” toys with the notion that maybe we’re the aliens, and wonders if a presidential “book of secrets” exists like in National Treasure ([02:32]).
• Notable banter: Uncle Si (ever the skeptic) is teased for not believing in atheists or aliens but warming up to the aliens idea (“he just recently converted over to alien”). ([16:59])

3. Pop Culture Tangents – From Independence Day to Black Panthers

• The group riffs on alien movies—especially Independence Day—and jokes that perhaps it’s a documentary.
  • Quote:
    • Sigh: “What if Independence Day is a documentary? Welcome to Earth.” ([07:28])
• Martin uses the Black Panther myth as “proof” that people can be sure about things they’ve never seen, arguing it’s the same with aliens ([14:20]).
• The idea that unseeable things can exist (love, gravity, DNA) is used to justify believing in things you can't see ([14:55]).

4. Fun with Fame, Giraffes, and Viral Moments

• [26:47] Discussion on viral internet moments (humorous “not in the Epstein files” meme featuring Uncle Si riding a hover-round, and his undefeated status at navigating roundabouts).
  • Willie: "One of Si’s claims to fame is he’s never been beat at a roundabout. He’s got the scratched-up truck to prove it." ([28:24])
• [29:01] Si’s dream of riding a giraffe—much hilarity about whether giraffes are “real,” if they’re aliens, and if Louisiana laws would even allow giraffe ownership.

5. Pet Peeves, Road Rage, and Small-Town Life

• [36:21] Si and Hunter share new-to-them tales of experiencing road rage and the perils of distracted driving.
  • Sigh: “I had planned out in my mind what I was going to yell, and then I realized how stupid I probably looked to people behind me.” ([37:09])
  • The group stresses the dangers of texting while driving, encourages “instant forgiveness,” and jokes about the hazards of road rage in rural Louisiana.

6. Moving, Community, and Southern Living

• Updates on Martin’s housing situation—he’s temporarily moved near Si, who marvels that no one gave him Martin’s new address at first.
  • Talk of neighborly visits, gifting flowers on Valentine’s Day, and the pros and cons of living close to family. ([49:59])
  • Willie: “I want him to move closer to us. I mean, right where he is.”

7. Faith and Family Anchoring the Episode

• The guys circle around faith, especially in discussing why belief in unseen things isn’t a stretch for them. The refrain: “God who created this earth can make anything. He’s all powerful.” ([14:05])
• Bible Verse of the Day:
  • Willie reads John 14:6 ([57:14]) - “And Jesus said, there’s one way to the Father and that’s through me. I’m the way and the truth and the life.”
  • Sigh: “Ooh, that actually makes me not believe in aliens.” ([57:29])

8. Charming Southern Mundanities: Fishing, Pizza, and Parenting

• Lighthearted updates on taking kids fishing, buying the latest flashy fishing rods, and debating the best mac-n-cheese and pizza (including South Carolina pizza pride).
  • Hunter: “Daddy, I see something.” (on seeing new fishing rods at the Honey Hole) ([53:07])
  • Sigh: “Do you think aliens would like fried chicken legs from Popeye’s?” ([25:21])

9. Listener Connections

• Praise report from a listener: A little girl once prayed for in the NICU is healthy and thriving ([56:41]).
• Feedback from fans: South Carolinians rise to defend the honor of their pizza. ([55:57])

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On New York Times headline:
  • Martin: “Uncle Si says there ain’t nothing such as... atheists.” ([02:55])
  • Sigh: “Does anybody think it’s ironic...?” ([04:30])
• Alien debate:
  • Hunter: “I just asked chat GPT if we had aliens. It said, short answer: we don’t know yet.” ([05:40])
  • Martin: “You wouldn’t be able to see all of God’s creation…” ([08:43])
  • Hunter: “If we’re here, it only makes sense it happened somewhere else as well.” ([13:42])
• Movie-loving banter:
  • Sigh: “What if Independence Day is a documentary? Welcome to Earth.” ([07:28])
• Rural pride/humor:
  • Willie: "One of Si’s claims to fame is he’s never been beat at a roundabout..." ([28:24])
  • Sigh: “Do you think aliens would like fried chicken legs from Popeye’s?” ([25:21])

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Uncle Si’s comment makes NYT: [02:45] – [04:30]
• Alien debate & pop culture spin: [01:54] – [17:00]
• Black Panthers, unseeable things & faith: [14:20] – [15:16]
• Giraffe ownership, viral memes, riding hover-rounds: [26:47] – [31:10]
• Road rage & distracted driving: [36:21] – [41:00]
• Neighborly living & Valentine’s flowers: [49:59] – [51:16]
• Listener mail & praise report: [55:57] – [56:57]
• Bible verse and wrap-up: [57:14] – end

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Final Notes

• The camaraderie and affectionate ribbing are ever-present and are best enjoyed with an ear for Southern turns-of-phrase.
• For the Duck Call crew, faith and family are inseparable from their wit and worldview, and even wild debates about aliens wind up circling back to the gospel.
• At its heart, the episode is less about the headlines and more about the laughter and fellowship that make their Duck Call Room such a beloved hangout—real or, as they’d joke, “extraterrestrial.”

---

Transcript

[Sigh]

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[Hunter]

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[Sigh]

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[Hunter]

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[Martin]

All right, my question is, is there anything newsworthy? Are we.

[Sigh]

Is that how you're starting this?

[Martin]

Worth looking at or listening to?

[Hunter]

Did you not watch the State of the Union?

[Sigh]

Oh, no, Martin, this is wrong. Podcast.

[Martin]

Did he have one?

[Hunter]

Huh?

[Martin]

Did he have one?

[Sigh]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Was it good?

[Sigh]

The hockey team was there.

[Hunter]

I don't know. I watch golf. I've become fascinated with the stadium golf. It's that I like it.

[Martin]

They're playing. Oh, I watched. I watched him. Look, Trump's the only one that's transparent as a president. He's on. He's old. He's on television.

[Sigh]

You're right. Wait, hold on, hold on. I'm going to, you know, he's going to tell us about the aliens.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Oh, he's got in the aliens.

[Hunter]

Oh, he has said that. Yeah. Why did you stop the clock? We can talk about alien.

[Sigh]

Yeah, don't stop the clock.

[Willie]

Yeah, we didn't want to stop the rock.

[Hunter]

Now I am interested in. In declassifying all alien.

[Sigh]

I've got big news.

[Hunter]

Observations. Do. Are there aliens?

[Martin]

I don't think so.

[Willie]

You know, unidentified.

[Sigh]

Obama said there were in an interview.

[Martin]

Well, if he said, yeah, no, I definitely don't believe.

[Sigh]

But then Trump said he wasn't supposed to say that. Very bad. Very bad deal.

[Willie]

Not good.

[Sigh]

Not breaking protocol or something. Classified.

[Hunter]

Not to go on Nicholas Cage.

[Martin]

Obama said it's a scam, but I know that.

[Sigh]

Then Trump acted up kind of.

[Martin]

Hey, I just tell you the truth.

[Hunter]

Is there a presidential book of secrets? Oh, yeah, from National Treasure, like there.

[Martin]

But hey, we asked. You asked me. And I tell you I don't believe in aliens.

[Sigh]

Okay, but here, that's fair.

[Hunter]

I was just curious if you.

[Martin]

I know, but hey, aliens. The same way when I went to New York and they asked me about atheist.

[Sigh]

Atheists, no, aliens.

[Martin]

I got in trouble. And look, it hit the, it hit the New York Times front page. Uncle Si says it ain't nothing, such

[Willie]

as Uncle Sa doesn't believe in atheists.

[Sigh]

Wait, did that really happen?

[Willie]

That's what it said, yeah.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

But you thought it was aliens.

[Martin]

Well, no, no, they said there, you know, was.

[Willie]

I don't believe in either one of them.

[Martin]

I had upset the people that don't believe.

[Willie]

Yeah, they're in uproar. They were, they were picketing in front of the building.

[Martin]

I said, wait a minute, hold on. I made a statement that there's no such thing as.

[Hunter]

Thank God I came here today, man.

[Martin]

And I said, let me explain it to you. I said, you got two people in Vietnam during the war. I said, one of them is a very religious man and the other one is. He's called himself an atheist. And I said, hey, guess what? They're in the foxhole and here comes Charlie and Charlie's fixed to kill everybody in the compound. Well, first thing, the guy, the religious man is, he's on his knees in the foxhole saying, lord, I need some divine help. Okay, well, hey, the idiot that says he don't believe, he was asking for help too, but he don't even know who he's asking help him.

[Sigh]

Okay, I see where we went there.

[Willie]

Yeah.

[Martin]

So I said, now, hey, what do you think? And they all got all upset.

[Willie]

Hey, straight from Uncle Size Mouth boys. Now, you know that and that got

[Sigh]

on the New York Times.

[Willie]

Yeah, that made it to the page.

[Sigh]

Does anybody think it's a little ironic that the people who said they don't believe in anything got upset that so I said, he doesn't believe in them.

[Martin]

Why did they get upset?

[Sigh]

I thought there was no. I don't know. That's a wild one. Didn't know we were going there.

[Martin]

The story about Jesus is going to do two or three things. You going to get mad? You going to get glad? Are you going to be. Hey, thank you, Lord.

[Sigh]

Isn't that glad?

[Martin]

Okay.

[Willie]

Yeah, I like how I like semi glad. I like how size go to is he starts preaching whenever we were with. We were with the Buck Commander Properties boys in Mississippi and they came to do an interview with the news cameras. And s started and I started preaching.

[Martin]

And as soon as I done this, he stuck it my face. I started telling them about, hey, I know the man that hung the sun and the moon and the stars.

[Willie]

He said, if you don't have a relationship with Jesus, you don't. And I said, s tell him about the rodeo. He looked at me, he said, no, he's the author and perfector of your faith with it. He just goes on. I mean, he won't get off of it.

[Sigh]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Martin]

Don't ever put a mic in, make fun of me because I'm going to tell you about the man.

[Hunter]

I just asked chat GPT if we had aliens. It said, short answer, are we aliens? It's that short answer. We don't know yet.

[Sigh]

Look, yet. So.

[Hunter]

So that means we're going to know.

[Sigh]

So Trump said, based on the tremendous interest shown, which has been for a while. Like you just woke up today and

[Martin]

thought, okay, so people are interested in Alien.

[Sigh]

Yeah. You ever been to the movies? Every other one's like an Independence Day knockoff.

[Willie]

A lot of people saying it's a great movie.

[Sigh]

It is a lot of people. So he will be doing.

[Martin]

Wait, wait, we got a movie about aliens again?

[Sigh]

Yeah, every 20 minutes. Oh, so he's going to direct the Secretary of War, other relevant departments and agencies to begin the process of identifying and releasing government files related to alien and extraterrestrial life. Unidentified aerial.

[Martin]

We've already done this and they've been holding it, not telling us.

[Sigh]

And UFOs and anything unidentified.

[Martin]

And fly an object.

[Willie]

Yeah, don't fly around here. You will get shot down.

[Martin]

That's right. And you die.

[Sigh]

And all other information connected to these highly complex but extremely interesting and important matters. God bless America.

[Willie]

There you go.

[Martin]

There's the Trump's out to prove one once and for all.

[Hunter]

Not to prove, but to just let you know.

[Willie]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

If we're covering it up.

[Martin]

I tell you, he was the most transparent president we got. He put it all up out there for us to see.

[Sigh]

Boys, I will not say that until we know if we landed on the moon.

[Hunter]

Yeah, that's a big one.

[Martin]

Oh, hey, this area 51 sons, it's all fenced.

[Hunter]

You reckon there's any aliens in there? Hey, could they be? Could they?

[Martin]

There could be aliens.

[Hunter]

Have some held hostage.

[Sigh]

What if Independence Day is a documentary? Look, welcome to Earth.

[Martin]

As someone that is known as a

[Hunter]

storyteller, you need aliens.

[Martin]

Okay?

[Hunter]

Now, aliens help your calls on a lot of this stuff.

[Willie]

Spice up the Story.

[Martin]

Well, hey, hey, the president said it. It's a lot of interest in it.

[Hunter]

I just find it weird that a guy who believes in large black cats doesn't believe in aliens.

[Martin]

Well, I will put it.

[Sigh]

Let me back up one of those.

[Martin]

Oh, let me back up and regroup.

[Hunter]

There's been plenty of people. See, I have told you.

[Martin]

Okay, what'd you tell me that. What's the biggest telescope we got right now? The Hubble. Okay. We've have. We have now looked off into other galaxies and seen this gigantic planet. Biggest one we've ever looked at.

[Hunter]

Huh. Is there another. Do you think there's another Earth?

[Martin]

Well, no, no. Oh. Oh, wait a minute. Yes. I do that because I've got proof

[Hunter]

of that with humans.

[Martin]

They're going to be on there later.

[Hunter]

Later.

[Martin]

There might not be any on it right now.

[Sigh]

Having a new Earth.

[Hunter]

There we go.

[Martin]

Because I tell you once before, if we had a machine that we could travel, that would never run out of fuel and all this.

[Hunter]

Yeah. Not a Tesla.

[Martin]

You wouldn't be able to see all of God's creation.

[Sigh]

That's true.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Okay.

[Hunter]

Because I personally believe the good thing we got eternity.

[Willie]

Hey, that's right. We're going to need it.

[Hunter]

It just don't give it a whirl.

[Martin]

It just keeps going.

[Sigh]

They're going to burn all this up.

[Martin]

Okay.

[Hunter]

Yeah, what's that now? Even global warming, but I believe global heating.

[Martin]

If that's true, then there could be aliens.

[Sigh]

There could be aliens.

[Hunter]

But are they aliens or are they just other. Not us. You know, like what. But what finds an alien.

[Martin]

But first, since there's a lot of interest in. They need to give me a definition of alien.

[Sigh]

Oh, I got you covered, big boy.

[Hunter]

We are we.

[Martin]

Oh, they've already got that

[Willie]

we're kind of aliens. Or are they just on this planet? Or are they just foreigners and aliens how?

[Hunter]

Just sitting back watching us saying, man, look at them idiots.

[Sigh]

Alien definition from space.

[Martin]

Oh, we're going.

[Hunter]

So we don't get flag.

[Martin]

We're going to space again.

[Hunter]

Boy, we're not questioning any legal tactics here. This is the actual extraterrestrial that we're talking about.

[Sigh]

But if we want it. No, I'm just kidding.

[Hunter]

No, we're not going down that road.

[Sigh]

An alien, often referred to as an extraterrestrial ET Phone Home, is a form of life, intelligence, or biological entity that originates and survives outside of Earth or its atmosphere. These space aliens are hypothesized to inhabit other planets or locations in the cosmos.

[Hunter]

The cosmos?

[Martin]

Yeah. There are. There are.

[Sigh]

Oh, that's just.

[Willie]

That was quick.

[Sigh]

What does AI have to do with aliens?

[Willie]

Hey, it's artificial intelligence.

[Martin]

Oh, hey.

[Sigh]

Everybody's phone just buzzed at once and now I'm panicked. Except for size.

[Martin]

Well, yeah, my phone didn't buzz cuz I ain't got one.

[Sigh]

Thank you. So you're in on aliens?

[Martin]

Well, I'm just saying.

[Sigh]

How tall do you think they are?

[Hunter]

Oh, big.

[Martin]

You think big aliens?

[Willie]

I can't buy none of it.

[Sigh]

You're going too small.

[Martin]

They're like eternity.

[Sigh]

What?

[Martin]

No, they're everywhere. Okay. What?

[Hunter]

That's Ray Stevens.

[Martin]

They're everywhere. Everywhere. It has to be.

[Hunter]

Oh yes. They call him the street

[Willie]

fast thing. On two. There you go. And I was thinking, oh, you went

[Sigh]

with Ray Stevens and I went with Michelle Branch, which is the weirdest part of that whole thing.

[Martin]

Oh, he went with Ray Stevens.

[Sigh]

I went Michelle Branch.

[Hunter]

Are you nervous, Hunter?

[Sigh]

Yeah.

[Martin]

No, you can't go wrong nervous.

[Sigh]

Our local liberal. I'm just kidding, he's an independent. Respond to that.

[Hunter]

Hunter, I would love to know your thoughts on aliens. I think we're about to go to war over aliens with aliens.

[Sigh]

It's a describe.

[Martin]

What did Hunter say?

[Sigh]

Hunter thinks we're being part of the problem because he thinks every time something bad happens, the government does something weird. Like say maybe there's aliens and then we're all talking about aliens and we don't see what's actually happening. Ah, Hunter would have made the best hippie of anyone in this room right now.

[Hunter]

Yeah, for somebody that doesn't dabble in recreational narcotics, you sure seem like it.

[Sigh]

You seem. You sure want to stick it to the man.

[Hunter]

This message is sponsored by Raycon. Y' all know that Raycon got them right here. Look.

[Sigh]

Boom.

[Martin]

Oh, he's got the blue ones.

[Hunter]

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[Sigh]

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[Hunter]

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[Martin]

Okay, Hunter, speak up.

[Sigh]

You should be excited.

[Martin]

What is your finding?

[Hunter]

I do think that there are aliens.

[Sigh]

Because if we're here, it only makes sense that it happened somewhere else as well.

[Martin]

Well, hey, I think there are crowd

[Sigh]

just agree with Hunter a lot.

[Hunter]

Fair enough.

[Martin]

Because, hey, here's the thing.

[Hunter]

I think it would be foolish to think we're the only planet Earth.

[Sigh]

Some of our super conservative friends right now are gonna.

[Martin]

I'll use.

[Sigh]

I'm just letting you know.

[Willie]

Yeah. Cause I ain't buying any of it.

[Hunter]

God that created this one can create anything. He's all powerful.

[Martin]

All.

[Willie]

You're right about that.

[Martin]

So, like, hey, I'm gonna use. I'm gonna be.

[Hunter]

If I say that he built this Earth and no other one, I'm now limited.

[Sigh]

Well, he could have done. Okay, but besides bringing up the Black Panther.

[Martin]

Hey, I'm bringing in the Black Panther as proof that there's aliens.

[Hunter]

What?

[Martin]

Yeah. Everybody. Everybody says I can't see it. So I don't believe it. Yeah, well, then, hey, I got news

[Willie]

for you people, gravity.

[Martin]

You need to talk to our medical people, because there's all kind of junk in your body that you don't see.

[Sigh]

Well, I don't want to see my intestines. Yeah. I believe in my intestines. And the second I see them, that means I'm tight.

[Martin]

What about all the unseeable things that exist on this Earth?

[Sigh]

Like what?

[Willie]

Love, Joy, DNA.

[Sigh]

You can see DNA if you get a really good microscope.

[Martin]

Yeah, with a big microscope.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Martin]

You can't see it with the naked eye unless you got help. That's when the alien comes in and I hit me.

[Willie]

He's on Johnny D, ain't he?

[Martin]

You know what I'm talking about. You see where I'm going here?

[Hunter]

No, I don't, but I love it.

[Martin]

Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.

[Hunter]

Hey, look, I can't see it, but I believe it. How about That I can't see where you're going, but I believe it.

[Martin]

No, no, that's what I'm telling you. There's so many things that are. You don't see them. There's stuff out there that you don't see that can kill you.

[Hunter]

Oh yeah.

[Martin]

Okay.

[Sigh]

I'm on the heavily Christian website Reddit trying to.

[Martin]

That's why I'm saying the first thing. The human race.

[Sigh]

Terrible website. Don't go there.

[Martin]

First thing we've got to do is hey, we got to come up with a solid foundation of what an alien is because I don't want none of this guessing crap.

[Sigh]

But we don't know what it is, so we gotta guess.

[Martin]

No.

[Willie]

Yeah, it's a proof, a hypothesis.

[Sigh]

Independence Day. Nailed it. Cuz it's the best alien movie.

[Martin]

Hunter, I told you I don't believe that you exist.

[Sigh]

I'm sitting right here and you just hit me. Well, hey, I don't believe I'm about to wrestle you.

[Martin]

Well, hey, don't.

[Sigh]

Yeah.

[Martin]

You get knocked out. This old boy ain't got time to fool you, son.

[Willie]

It's a one pin. That's one punch.

[Martin]

I got to knock you out with one punch.

[Sigh]

And just like that, go.

[Martin]

Nice. I can't run from you because you got run me and catch you kids

[Hunter]

at home say no to drugs. Man.

[Martin]

How do we get on this alien trip anyway?

[Hunter]

I don't know.

[Sigh]

Well, you don't believe. You called Trump the most transparent president ever. He is some people listening.

[Martin]

Hey, yeah brother.

[Sigh]

And some people you got fell out of their chair laughing.

[Hunter]

The press said, how can you be that orange?

[Martin]

I got elected.

[Hunter]

You know, maybe translucent, but I'm rewinding

[Willie]

in my head side doesn't believe in atheist or aliens. That's where we are.

[Sigh]

No, no, he doesn't believe in atheists, but he just recently converted over to alien. Oh.

[Martin]

Cause I'm going to tell you when

[Sigh]

you get in alienism.

[Martin]

Alienism, you go somebody for help. You get off of that. You don't believe. Yeah, okay. Because when you get butt gets in a sling and you fix a die. Oh yeah.

[Willie]

And what happened when you got back to the office? Willie called you in. What really happened? Now this is when the, the. The New York Times paper said I

[Hunter]

didn't know where we were going.

[Willie]

Well, this is what Sal was talking about.

[Martin]

No, no, hey, I'll tell you what happened.

[Willie]

The paper said uncle Sa doesn't believe in atheists. And then Willie, Willie.

[Hunter]

Which is like a great Babylon Bee headline, right?

[Martin]

No, Willie was Giving me the chewing out.

[Willie]

Yeah, that's where we were before we went.

[Martin]

That's what it was. And then I just said, hold it. Look, I said, every time me and my brother feel go to New York

[Sigh]

City, trouble is afoot.

[Martin]

We get in trouble. Well, guess what? Guess who's sending us to New York City, dummy.

[Hunter]

Yeah. I said, was that really Yalls ploy just to not have to go back?

[Martin]

Well, I just told him. I said, hey, every time we go, we get in trouble to leave us alone. You're always coming up.

[Sigh]

Said, hey, I'm telling it.

[Martin]

We got a trip to New York coming up.

[Sigh]

We gotta. We gotta pause the alien talk so we can say the greatest. Phil Roberts in New York City.

[Hunter]

I want to say it.

[Sigh]

What?

[Hunter]

Drag it to the screen. I don't. It's not fair. You get to look at it.

[Sigh]

That's a real article. Apparently, 2015 evangelical reality TV star Cy Robertson reveals there's no such thing as an atheist.

[Martin]

Well, that's when you know you're there. Yeah, I made the front page of New York City.

[Sigh]

New York Times, Huffington Post in the UK even reported on that one. I can't find the New York Times.

[Martin]

Why that? Willie sent us to Jimmy Seafood.

[Hunter]

Check in on this. We need to know where you. Yeah, Jimmy Seafood. Let us know where you stand on this bad language.

[Martin]

See? Hey, look, you know why we went to New York City? Willie wanted me to tell him about Jesus. There you go.

[Sigh]

And you did your part, okay?

[Martin]

And I did it.

[Willie]

You know that.

[Martin]

And there you go.

[Sigh]

My favorite way ever, because more people heard about it. But you know what? You remember what Phil did?

[Hunter]

Which time in New York?

[Martin]

What?

[Sigh]

Well, the first line of defense is the dog. And if any of you are coming

[Hunter]

to rape village, rape our women, pillage

[Willie]

our property, you think it'd be a safe question talking to Phil about something, his dogs.

[Sigh]

And he went with, oh, yeah, they're. The first line of it was like on the Today Show.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Oh, no, that was on Fox and Friends. Yeah, because that. Because they asked me the question. They had run to a lot of trouble saying hi. Don't bring up their script. Well, hey, that's a stupid thing if you tell me right before I go out there, somebody go say something.

[Sigh]

Just brought it up again, man.

[Willie]

Do it.

[Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. Because I told him, I said, hey, I'm the director's worst nightmare. He hands me the script.

[Sigh]

No, he didn't.

[Martin]

He didn't say it.

[Sigh]

Ladies and gentlemen, script is a very loose word. It was not. It was like hey, you need to stand over there. That's what it said.

[Martin]

You know what Trump needs to do now?

[Sigh]

Tell us about it, sir.

[Hunter]

Yes. What?

[Martin]

Let's take that clock. Take a vote from the country,

[Sigh]

develop democracy.

[Martin]

Let's hold an election. I mean, is there aliens or aren't there?

[Sigh]

Well, that doesn't mean anything.

[Hunter]

You got to have an id.

[Martin]

Oh, if we find them that. Oh, yeah, they got to have a Social Security number and all this.

[Sigh]

You're going to get the aliens.

[Martin]

They sign up for welfare, they'll be on welfare and all this stuff. Y. That's right. They'll be blow. Blue or red.

[Sigh]

Getting the little Debbies on.

[Martin]

Yes.

[Hunter]

Why can't you run that, Hunter?

[Willie]

Who cares?

[Martin]

Hunter, we got fired. Wait a minute, Hunter. What do you mean we can't run this? Yeah, we're trying to inform the people, son.

[Sigh]

He said we're going.

[Martin]

Our constitution starts we the people and

[Sigh]

the aliens on food stage.

[Martin]

And look. Hey, there you go.

[Sigh]

That's all we're after.

[Martin]

Wait a minute, though. Are we going to include them and we the people.

[Willie]

Oh, that's. We the aliens.

[Sigh]

That's actually where we need to go now.

[Martin]

Are aliens, or is that going too far?

[Sigh]

You think aliens are like really old? Like, sea turtles?

[Martin]

Now we'll. Sea turtles.

[Sigh]

I don't care about them either. I just want to play.

[Martin]

When Doug Dynasty went to Hawaii, did you know that I was on a surfboard and guess what? Come up beside me?

[Willie]

No. Sea turtle.

[Martin]

A giant sea turtle. A giant sea turtle come up and. Hey, he's played. He played with me while I was trying to learn how to.

[Sigh]

You should have rode it like Moana.

[Martin]

Their hide is so weird feeling.

[Sigh]

I'm pretty sure you can get arrested for touching a sea turtle.

[Martin]

Nah. Okay. See, he's Uncle Sam, the lady that was my instructor. Oh, no.

[Sigh]

He said, no.

[Martin]

One of the guys at the pool.

[Hunter]

Oh, lifeguard, lifeguard, lifeguard.

[Martin]

She was my lifeguard. She said, hey, I've spent my life in this ocean.

[Sigh]

Were you in the pool?

[Martin]

Yes. She said, that's the first time I ever seen one of these giant sea turtles come up and let a human being petty. Because I. I was sitting on my

[Hunter]

surfboard and I looked and I imagine how that turtle.

[Martin]

Something was moving under me, coming toward me.

[Willie]

The turtle went and told all his friends, guess who I met.

[Martin]

They said, hey, there's aliens popped up right beside it. Look, I'm petting this silly thing.

[Hunter]

Now that sea turtle is the uncle side of the seat.

[Willie]

Oh, yeah, technology.

[Hunter]

He's Telling this story.

[Martin]

Wildlife. Here's the thing. Only one of us could surf. Guess who it was. The turtle. The turtle who?

[Hunter]

The turtle.

[Martin]

No, no, I'm talking about us. Dust Duck Dynasty crew could surf. Yeah, it actually could ride a surfboard. Jace.

[Willie]

Jace.

[Martin]

No, Sadie.

[Willie]

Oh, yeah.

[Martin]

Sadie was the only one that surfed that. Yeah, that.

[Hunter]

That was totally believable.

[Martin]

Willie busted his butt. I busted my butt.

[Sigh]

Billy's got the wrong body.

[Martin]

All the rest of them didn't even try.

[Sigh]

Yeah, if your legs are that skinny and your upper. And I'm not trying to make fun of the man. We. Oh, hey, I'm formed in the same way.

[Martin]

I got chicken legs. And it's just been on a dime.

[Sigh]

You look like somebody holding a frog. Just up in there.

[Martin]

There you go. There you go.

[Hunter]

Definitely not too little in the middle gut.

[Sigh]

Tiny legs and pretty nice calves, if we got to be honest.

[Hunter]

Yeah, very, very nice cat. Very hairless legs, too.

[Martin]

We've about covered it all. Boys. Aliens, and then the chicken legs. We've covered the whole thing today.

[Willie]

Making me hungry.

[Sigh]

That's the end of the show. We're here. This is the end of the duck call room.

[Martin]

Alien. Aliens to chicken legs.

[Hunter]

Look, y' all know that we believe the story of Easter is the most beautiful story ever told. But sometimes, because you know it so well, you can forget what it actually costs. And it does lose a little of its powerful nature sometimes. But Tim Tebow's fixed that. He is telling the story from the perspective of the cross.

[Sigh]

If the tree could speak. Tim Tebow.

[Hunter]

Yeah, There you go.

[Sigh]

Story of the cross that saw it all. It's an awesome book. Sigh. Especially loves the pictures.

[Martin]

Right?

[Sigh]

You don't.

[Hunter]

You s. Big picture guy been looking through it.

[Sigh]

My favorite page is 108. Martin.

[Hunter]

Why? What's that?

[Sigh]

He is risen. He is risen. He is alive. Cuz if it's stopped on the cross, it don't mean much.

[Hunter]

But it is cool to hear the crucifixion story from the perspective of the cross itself. Look, it's one of those books that makes you stop and think and really picture what that day was like. Illustrations are beautiful. Every page leads you to really feel the way to the crucifixion. Even if you know the story, this book gives you a fresh way to see it. You reflect, think, and deepen your faith. And reading gets you step inside the story, hear the witnesses, and ultimately experience Easter like never before. You'll see the crucifixion differently than ever before. If the tree could speak by Tim Tebow is available now on Amazon. Order your copy today.

[Sigh]

Do you think aliens would like fried chicken legs from Popeyes?

[Hunter]

Absolutely.

[Sigh]

I mean, they didn't. I wouldn't trust them. And I'm already kind of leery of them.

[Hunter]

Why? They got that face like it.

[Sigh]

Aliens are chicken legs.

[Hunter]

Aliens? How come every one of them's got Mac and cheese? Our depiction of them. Mac and cheese. Why are they toddlers?

[Sigh]

Because him and Carter are the same person. He's a giant 14 year old boy.

[Hunter]

Do you like Mac and cheese?

[Martin]

Oh, what are you talking about?

[Sigh]

I found a Mac and cheese restaurant me and I got to take my son to soon.

[Hunter]

It's a whole restaurant with Mac and cheese.

[Sigh]

That's all it is.

[Hunter]

That's it.

[Sigh]

Oh, it's six hours away, but we're

[Hunter]

gonna have to do it six hours somewhere in Texas.

[Sigh]

Yeah, Waco, but below that.

[Hunter]

Okay.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

Would like Bucky's again, depending on which way they vote. Honestly,

[Willie]

no.

[Sigh]

No. Hey, speaking of Bucky's real fast, there's a new video out trending over some uppity person saying that this place is gross.

[Hunter]

Bucky's gross?

[Sigh]

What kind.

[Hunter]

Where do you stop?

[Willie]

Yeah, who was gross?

[Hunter]

What is your. Is this one of those AC's people?

[Sigh]

No, I don't know.

[Martin]

I don't. I.

[Hunter]

Because Buc ee's is not gross.

[Sigh]

It really hurt my feelings.

[Hunter]

Very clean.

[Sigh]

It's a tick tock person, which explains a lot.

[Hunter]

There you go. There it is. It's a tick tock.

[Sigh]

I can't find it.

[Willie]

Yeah, they probably like stuckies.

[Hunter]

Hey, sigh. Did you know you. Did you know that you went viral on the Internet again? Oh.

[Willie]

Oh, no, no.

[Martin]

What have I done now?

[Hunter]

I just found it's what you haven't done. You weren't in the Epstein files.

[Martin]

I wasn't in whose file?

[Hunter]

Mr. Epstein? You never went to that island. They were never mentioned.

[Sigh]

You never emailed. It had corresponding.

[Willie]

Way to go.

[Martin]

He's dead. I'll sue the piss out of him.

[Hunter]

Or what?

[Martin]

He didn't put me in his file.

[Sigh]

No, you weren't.

[Hunter]

You weren't in his.

[Martin]

I wasn't.

[Hunter]

Oh, that.

[Sigh]

No, you weren't.

[Hunter]

And that's why you went viral.

[Martin]

If he was alive, I'd sue the sucker.

[Willie]

Well, I thought you were going to say side died again. On social media as I can take.

[Martin]

They always trying to kill me off.

[Hunter]

I don't know. But you weren't in the Epstein file,

[Willie]

so you win my cousin text drop them now.

[Hunter]

They did.

[Martin]

They dropped them.

[Sigh]

And you Weren't in them.

[Martin]

I wasn't in them. They dropped it.

[Hunter]

Yeah. And somebody made a video that said, you know who's not in the Epstein files? And it was you.

[Sigh]

It was you holding the tea glass. And then it cut to you on the hover round. Going down like stealth. Now what? That's this one Downing Pines, just with a traffic all behind you.

[Martin]

Speaking about that.

[Hunter]

See, Isn't that cool?

[Martin]

The hover rounds. Oh, that was the funniest thing here in Monroe when they first installed them.

[Sigh]

The hover. You're talking about around.

[Martin]

Oh, yeah. Well, roundabout about hover.

[Sigh]

So I said hover round because it. Remember when you had planned.

[Martin]

Y' all planted that in my mind. Hover.

[Sigh]

No, I feel like roundabout.

[Willie]

One of size claims to fame is he's never been beat at a roundabout. He's undefeated, and he's got the scratched up truck to prove it right now.

[Sigh]

Look, we can't play the sound, but this. This was on the Internet. It said, you want to know who's not in the files. And it's you in a gas can. You with traffic behind you on a hover around.

[Hunter]

See?

[Sigh]

And America loves you.

[Hunter]

America loves you.

[Martin]

America waits on me.

[Sigh]

What does that mean?

[Martin]

To see if I ride around on what I ride next. That's why y' all got to get me a giraffe.

[Willie]

Hey, where's your. Where's your little giraffe at? It's gone.

[Sigh]

He's up there. No that giraffe ever disappears. I'm gonna start banging on office doors.

[Martin]

Up. I think I'm gonna actually book a trip to Africa. Please. So I can ride the top of a giraffe.

[Sigh]

I don't think that's like, one of the options.

[Willie]

Let's have a giraffe.

[Martin]

One of the options that has 5

[Sigh]

million views, by the way.

[Martin]

What does a giraffe.

[Sigh]

No, you on the other. Oh, but you on a giraffe would probably get 5 million views, too.

[Willie]

So you could be better off buying the giraffe and shipping it here. Your own giraffe. You can ride it any way you want.

[Martin]

Why would I do that?

[Willie]

What? Then you wouldn't have to travel to.

[Martin]

Oh, I want to go there.

[Hunter]

You know, there's a problem besides the voice of reason. I tell you, you had a bad idea, Phil. It must have been bad giraffe.

[Martin]

I'm trying to get a trip to Africa.

[Hunter]

Hey, but.

[Sigh]

Well, you just had a trip to a rodeo in Mississippi. He'll come back next year if you guys have a giraffe.

[Hunter]

Yep. And he can ride with a saddle.

[Sigh]

With the saddle, but not where you would expect.

[Hunter]

He wants to be on the neck.

[Martin]

I gotta be up there where I hold the horns.

[Hunter]

Yeah. What could go?

[Martin]

I want to be up there. Up above of everything, where I can see everything.

[Sigh]

Are you positive giraffes real?

[Martin]

Yeah. What if he trips and falls?

[Sigh]

What if.

[Willie]

Bad for you.

[Sigh]

Rafts are actually just surveillance drones. And that's why they made their necks so long.

[Martin]

Maybe they're aliens. What about that?

[Willie]

We lost Martin on that one.

[Sigh]

Birds aren't real. Giraffes aren't real.

[Hunter]

I'm going to start. I'm going to take up drinking again. Again.

[Sigh]

Also, you can't own a giraffe here in Louisiana.

[Willie]

Oh, is that right?

[Martin]

Wait a minute.

[Willie]

Unless you're a zoo.

[Hunter]

This is America, by God.

[Martin]

This is America. You can own a giraffe. There's people that own tigers.

[Sigh]

Yeah, and he's in jail now.

[Martin]

No, it used to be a trio or a duo.

[Sigh]

And he got eaten.

[Martin]

Well. Well, hey.

[Sigh]

We're not sure what.

[Martin]

Carol was a big tiger.

[Hunter]

Carol Baskin.

[Sigh]

I never told you what me and Hunter almost bought you for Christmas.

[Hunter]

Me?

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Oh, okay.

[Sigh]

I'm really disappointed, by the way.

[Martin]

What is it?

[Sigh]

Is it the thought that counts?

[Hunter]

Yeah, absolutely. What y'.

[Martin]

All. What would y' all gonna buy Hunter?

[Sigh]

Do you remember what we were buying? He was unfortunately booked out.

[Hunter]

A cameo?

[Sigh]

No.

[Hunter]

A phone call from Joe Exotic.

[Sigh]

From Joe Exotic?

[Willie]

No.

[Sigh]

But it's hard to book him because he's only getting, like, 20 minutes of phone calls a week.

[Hunter]

Yeah. And you got to have a prepaid card.

[Sigh]

Yeah. And you have to donate money to Free Joe Exotic. Which felt a little. Not sure I wanted to donate money to that. But I would give him money for a phone call.

[Hunter]

I'd pay him for his time. But I don't know if I want to be tied to a foundation that's. Free him. Yeah.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

So that we were going to do it, but he was booked out for, like, a month.

[Hunter]

You go get it for me.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

And we were just going to call him in here.

[Hunter]

Yes. That's tight.

[Sigh]

Yeah. It's a thought that counts. I was texting.

[Hunter]

What would he say?

[Sigh]

Something about Baskin.

[Hunter]

Carol Baskin.

[Sigh]

But maybe we need to book that phone call now and see if he can get us a giraffe.

[Hunter]

We should probably ask Joe Exotic about aliens. I think we should put a whole poll up to our crowd, our audience, folks in the comments. Aliens. Where do you stand?

[Willie]

Yeah, I see it being low.

[Hunter]

Put Low.

[Willie]

Yeah. No, I ain't buying none.

[Sigh]

Do you realize these people that listen to this podcast? And I say this with the utmost sincerity because I am one of you. Listen to uncle sigh for three or four hours a week.

[Willie]

I listen to him for 15 years straight every.

[Sigh]

So they're in on the aliens.

[Martin]

They're in on aliens.

[Sigh]

We're gonna find out.

[Martin]

I see. It's an interesting subject.

[Willie]

I do wonder.

[Sigh]

Instagram reel.

[Hunter]

I wonder what else.

[Sigh]

Yes or no?

[Hunter]

We should start. What else should he declassify the psy.

[Sigh]

The moon land. The moon is number one.

[Hunter]

The moon Needs to happen President.

[Sigh]

And the second most important one is.

[Hunter]

And is there a book of secrets? Like was Nicholas. I will say, was Nicholas Cage on to something?

[Sigh]

No, there's no book. That was a movie. Oh, yeah, but Independence Day, that's real. That might happen.

[Martin]

Okay, now see, I'm on animals right now because I'm thinking about what is the most unique pet that you would like to have?

[Hunter]

A human.

[Martin]

Oh, you've got one. You're married.

[Hunter]

I'm kidding.

[Sigh]

Whoa.

[Willie]

Size gonna get slapped by Brittany.

[Martin]

All right. Hey, Brittany would slap me. I love that woman.

[Hunter]

I ain't telling her to sit or stay.

[Martin]

Hey, I'm the one that said, hey, you need to marry this girl.

[Willie]

Oh, you told Martin.

[Sigh]

You're saying what? I would get something?

[Hunter]

I want something low maintenance.

[Martin]

No, no. So that's.

[Willie]

Don't get up.

[Martin]

Well, what about one of them little schnauzer dogs like J. Scott?

[Sigh]

No, Them things are annoying.

[Hunter]

No.

[Martin]

Yeah, they're yippees.

[Hunter]

That's not yippees.

[Martin]

Because that's all it is to be

[Sigh]

one of the manliest men on Earth. And I'll give Jace that.

[Hunter]

Yeah, his dog collects it. But I mean, his dog collection is. The only thing greater in his dog collection is his.

[Willie]

What? What?

[Martin]

Only thing greater than a dog is what?

[Willie]

The only thing greater than his dog collection is, and then he couldn't get

[Martin]

it out is his kids.

[Hunter]

Is his dog. Graveyard.

[Martin]

Oh, the graveyard.

[Sigh]

No, that's rude.

[Hunter]

You want to end up on a short list? Go live with Jace if you're a canine.

[Sigh]

Okay.

[Martin]

Why?

[Willie]

Jason's so joyful to be around.

[Hunter]

Oh, he is. But he just let you out and you're pretty well on your own.

[Sigh]

I've almost taken out a couple of them little ones with a golf cart.

[Hunter]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Sigh]

They're. They're very much in the street.

[Hunter]

Yeah, it is a busy time of year, especially for Johnny D. I was just at the Honey hole. Trust me, I know.

[Sigh]

Did you see me eat lunch?

[Hunter]

Nope.

[Martin]

Nope.

[Sigh]

Because I didn't have any factor meals on hand because I didn't have more than two minutes. And that's all factor would have taken.

[Hunter]

You can eat healthy. You prep all your meals. You don't have to get your kitchen dirty. It's easy. Two minutes or less and you got something fresh, cooked, chef prepared, ready to go. Look, some weeks get busy and eating right gets harder. But factor makes it easy to stay on track with healthier meals. Factor is always fresh, never frozen, and ready in just two minutes.

[Sigh]

You forgot the most important part.

[Hunter]

What?

[Sigh]

Delicious.

[Hunter]

They are delicious.

[Martin]

Two minutes when you get it.

[Sigh]

But they are good.

[Hunter]

Yeah, because we're talking about lean proteins, colorful vegetables, whole food ingredients, and healthy fats. Look, you don't have to worry about what's on the label because there's no refined sugars, artificial sweeteners, or refined seed oils. There's 100 rotating meals every week to keep things new and delicious. So whether you want high protein where you're counting calories, Mediterranean GLP1 support. Ready to eat salads. They have it all. Plus they have a new muscle pro option that's great for strength and recovery.

[Sigh]

You may pro. Oh, Alabama style white barbecue chicken.

[Hunter]

There you go.

[Sigh]

That's new and that's a new one.

[Hunter]

Add it.

[Sigh]

But the shredded chicken taco bowl's always been there. And guess what? I've always enjoyed it.

[Hunter]

Look, you want to learn more, head to Factor Mills.com Duck50OFF and use code Duck50OFF to get 50 off and get free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with factor. That's factor meals.com duck50 off. Code duck50 off. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active.

[Sigh]

Ty, would you like to hear a story from not so long ago? AKA this morning. This morning.

[Martin]

This morning.

[Sigh]

I road rage for the first time in my whole life.

[Hunter]

Really?

[Willie]

What happened?

[Sigh]

I'm just driving down the road. It's four lanes. I'm probably going five under.

[Willie]

Yeah, you're not a speeder.

[Sigh]

Why would we be in a hurry? And out of the corner of my eye, I feel a presence of a Honda Civic inching closer and closer and closer. And then I look over and I'm like, I could touch it. And then it gets about four inches from me. And I lay on the horn and swerve over and we're going the same direction.

[Willie]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

And I was like, guess they were just coming over. Didn't see me and I got mad. And I'm normally not an angry person. So then I punched it because I wanted to catch up with them and just have them look at who they

[Hunter]

give them a proper talking to.

[Sigh]

I wasn't going to talk to him, but I.

[Hunter]

Little whipper snapper.

[Sigh]

I do have a presence about me that might scare them into, like, thinking, glad I didn't run into that guy.

[Willie]

Unless they know you.

[Sigh]

Yeah, if they know who I am, then they're like, oh, he's. He's friendly. And so then after I punched the gas, I calmed down for just a second. I was like, what am I doing? This is stupid. And that's when I saw a person. I'm not even gonna give you anything else other than a human looking straight at their phone and down. Still, after they almost ran me off the road and into me, then I saw them on their phone and I was like, they don't even know. They just did that. So then I got mad again. And so then I honked again and rolled the window down like I was going to do something. And I had planned out my mind what I was going to yell. And then I realized how stupid I probably looked to the people behind me. And so then I just rolled the window back up. And then I got to experience the wonderful pleasure of driving for three miles right behind this person. Which is why you should never. Road rage.

[Hunter]

You got behind him?

[Sigh]

Well, yeah. Where else was I going to go?

[Hunter]

Oh, did it change from four to two lane?

[Sigh]

No, but I wanted to think I was following them and we just happened to go the same direction.

[Hunter]

For you and me, whenever I get around a poor driver, I get away immediately.

[Willie]

I do, too.

[Sigh]

Oh, no. I was like, well, where was I going to go? I was headed to work.

[Hunter]

Gone.

[Martin]

I got.

[Sigh]

There's only one bridge in this town

[Martin]

I'd have turned off.

[Sigh]

I was following him. Can I tell you a quick story? Because the exact same thing happened to

[Hunter]

me the day I passed you. Oh, did you give somebody the finger?

[Sigh]

I sped up to catch up to them.

[Hunter]

Rascal.

[Sigh]

And rolled down my window, and they refused to eye me. This person like you, no offense, I. You were about to start a fight. I was so proud of you, Hunter. Because they turned into me without a blinker once. And then the next time they.

[Hunter]

They turned on the blinker while I was halfway, like, past them and scared me.

[Sigh]

So not once, but twice.

[Martin]

Well, the point I wanted to make

[Sigh]

on this, I've never experienced road rage

[Willie]

like that size of rager there Is

[Martin]

so many wrecks caused by people looking at this stupid thing while driving.

[Sigh]

You don't have to call my phone

[Martin]

stupid, but yeah, nothing. Nothing is that important.

[Sigh]

No, do not Google if it's that important.

[Martin]

Pull off to the side of the road and then call and talk to who you want to talk to.

[Willie]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

Plus, if you're doing that while you're.

[Martin]

Don't do it while driving.

[Willie]

And don't let anybody drive you around looking at their phone. Do what side did to the guy who was driving us around looking at his phone. He said, hey, pull this thing over. Either hand your phone to Philip.

[Sigh]

Did you pull over?

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Willie]

Oh, he got all over him and it scared me.

[Martin]

He thought I was joking. He thought I was joking, Stuart. And I said, hey, you idiot, what did I just tell you?

[Willie]

No, but it scared me.

[Martin]

Pull your butt off.

[Willie]

I usually like that. And I was like. I was scared. I was like, I'm a. Hand me your phone or let me drive.

[Martin]

Oh, I read the smacking. I said, hey, you're not going to drive and be texting somebody on that phone while I'm in the car with you.

[Willie]

But, Johnny D. Now, let me tell you something I've been working on. Now, this is just this week, instant forgiveness. Okay, man, this is difficult. I'm getting cut off in traffic. Everything that happens, whatever, I'm instantly trying to forgive. And it is so. It's the most difficult thing I've ever.

[Sigh]

You almost said it's the worst.

[Willie]

It is. It's the worst.

[Martin]

No, no. Hey, hey. Well, here's the deal.

[Willie]

It's hard.

[Martin]

You don't never know what. What kind of guy or gals respond to you.

[Sigh]

To be fair, I had confirmed I was winning this fight.

[Willie]

Oh, yeah. You already sized them up.

[Sigh]

I sized it. Well, they were bigger than me, but I was winning the fight.

[Martin]

It's. Well, it's a dangerous practice.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Willie]

Be careful because they. I mean, people now are so stupid. They just pull a gun out.

[Martin]

Well, no, it's, you know, it's too dangerous.

[Sigh]

That's why I backed off. But then we just had to awkwardly go the same direction.

[Hunter]

And I'm gonna follow you.

[Sigh]

I wasn't planning on following them. They were going. And then I was like, God, if

[Martin]

we pull into this thing, if we

[Sigh]

pull in the honey hole together, this is gonna get weird.

[Martin]

The best thing to do is, hey, call the cops. And said, hey, look, person just went by me.

[Sigh]

You're gonna call the cops on somebody, Karen?

[Martin]

Yeah, I'm gonna call the cops.

[Willie]

I ain't even got a phone. What are you talking about?

[Martin]

I'm driving dangerously.

[Sigh]

You gonna pull over with a quarter and a nickel and put it in a pay phone?

[Martin]

Hey, they ain't got any pay phones anymore.

[Willie]

So I remember that guy that me and you were going to that event, and we drove past him. We're going, what, 80? Yeah, maybe we're driving down the interstate.

[Sigh]

That's speeding.

[Willie]

Okay, well, we're.

[Hunter]

Lane.

[Willie]

We're in the left lane, lawbreaker.

[Martin]

We're in the fast lane.

[Willie]

Passing lane.

[Sigh]

The fast lane is for people going to.

[Martin]

Okay, look, but, hey, here's the thing. We go by this guy, okay? And then get over. Philip gets over. He's driving, gets over, and then all of a sudden, it's just.

[Willie]

He must have been on his phone or asleep. We woke him up.

[Martin]

I think he was asleep because I said it. I said, I believe you woke him up and scared him.

[Willie]

He come by us doing a hundo.

[Martin]

He comes. He come by running at about 120.

[Willie]

Oh, yeah, he was.

[Martin]

And we never saw the guy again.

[Sigh]

120 miles an hour.

[Martin]

Oh, no. He was rolling.

[Sigh]

I don't even like planes to go that fast.

[Martin]

Yeah, but. But people, you know, just. You know, when you really think it, Use a little common sense. You're texting on a stupid phone. Well, you can't hit the numbers you go on because there's too little. So you got to be.

[Sigh]

Also, if your size, age, this goes double for you.

[Martin]

You know, where are you? Where's the. Where's the steering wheel? You got a phone, and you're doing this with it. You ain't got a hand on the steering wheel, you idiot.

[Hunter]

What age do you start using the ringer on your phone again?

[Sigh]

You heard him a lot this morning.

[Hunter]

I did at the Honeyhole. Wow, man.

[Sigh]

Oh, that would actually be my favorite if somebody answered while he's. No, you're about to take a picture.

[Martin]

Oh, okay.

[Hunter]

There you go.

[Martin]

Yeah, a lot of people. That's what I tell you about how that thing go berserk me, son.

[Hunter]

When's the last time your phone's been

[Martin]

on a ring on ring ever?

[Sigh]

It rings in my car. Like it'll interrupt the music and do the ringtone.

[Hunter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sigh]

And my ringtone, top Gun, which is really cool, but I don't want that going off in the grocery store.

[Martin]

What I like is, hey, you got it stuck in your back pocket, and you butt call somebody.

[Sigh]

Oh, how do you know so much about phones?

[Martin]

Well, hey, I ride with people that are Always fooling with them.

[Willie]

I've got a phone.

[Hunter]

Hunter, do you have. Is your phone ever not on silent? Every night. You turn it on so it wakes you up. Yeah, that's the goal. Yeah.

[Sigh]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Hunter]

What time is your General Bedtime? Like 2am yeah.

[Martin]

Never mind.

[Hunter]

I'm not going to call you. I'll call you at 5am Way more.

[Sigh]

So your phone's just on ring through the night?

[Willie]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

What if someone calls you?

[Hunter]

That's the point. You want to wake up. What if someone needs me? Oh, boy.

[Sigh]

Millen's calling me right now.

[Hunter]

Yes.

[Martin]

I'm just checking.

[Willie]

I'm just checking him.

[Hunter]

Like, I don't know, drunk friend, grandmother. Okay.

[Willie]

You know, I called Hunter one time. I'm like, I need you.

[Martin]

All right.

[Sigh]

So Hunter's the who you call if you're in a buying late at night.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

You know who you don't call if you're on a buying late at night? This guy or me.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

I ain't answering.

[Martin]

I wouldn't wake up anyway.

[Sigh]

I used to have my phone on ring when I worked for Willie because it was this thing like if I call, you answer.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

And I did. And then the day I was done with that idea, my phone has been on silent ever since.

[Willie]

By the way, it's hard to get in touch with you now because you don't have your home phone. You're still. You're still displaced from your house.

[Martin]

My wife gave out her mobile phone.

[Sigh]

Somebody did ask me about you the other day. They said there hadn't been a lot of activity in the red, white and blue roof home. I said, he's fine.

[Martin]

Oh, yeah, they had been from you.

[Sigh]

Yeah, well, I know not a lot of cars.

[Martin]

Somebody's been in there tearing up everything.

[Sigh]

Well, they were checking on you. The locals were.

[Martin]

The inside of my house has been gutted.

[Hunter]

Really?

[Willie]

Oh, yeah.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Willie]

They had to get rid of some

[Martin]

floors tore up down to the studs.

[Willie]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Straight down.

[Willie]

At one point they thought. I thought they were going to lose the whole house.

[Martin]

I. I've got to put.

[Willie]

Really? Yeah.

[Martin]

I got to put a new air conditioned unit and heater unit in there.

[Sigh]

You just want my house because that

[Martin]

was covered with black mold. Black mold.

[Hunter]

Is there any other color mold that's

[Martin]

that thick on it?

[Sigh]

Green.

[Hunter]

Blue.

[Sigh]

That hot chocolate was green and gray.

[Willie]

Oh, that's disgusting. The one side left in here for

[Sigh]

a month and then put in my nose.

[Martin]

It been good for you if you drank it.

[Sigh]

It's not penicillin, man.

[Hunter]

It was.

[Martin]

Yeah, it is. That's almost. That's all. Penicillin is molecular.

[Hunter]

All right, Goblin, when did you first start thinking it was about time to get serious about your health? Well, you know, I'm recently retired. Uh huh. So of course I'm not being that stale. But I mean, the recliner sure is inviting, but I just didn't want to sit there. The main reason is them grandbabies. I mean, look, I'm 63. In 10 years, I'm going to be 73 when they're 10 years old and I want to be able to keep up with them, teach them how to hunt and fish.

[Sigh]

Eating real food. Not starving either, are you?

[Hunter]

Recipes you can cook, just regular food. It's pretty good. And some foods that you don't even know causes inflammation. My knees are feeling better and I can tell when I wake up, I got more energy. Another thing is that coach. Because I need to be told what I can eat, what I can. And that coach, is a lifesaver. Well, if you've tried all the diets, keto, Paleo, fasting, they're all the same. It's time to try something different. There's one thing that tells your body to burn fat or store it, and most diets just plain miss it. PhD weight loss has figured it out and builds a plan that actually works with your body, not against it. Look, I'm already not taking some of my sugar medicine. That's awesome. I keep dropping out at night. I had to quit taking it just because I'm eating right. If you call now, they'll give you two free weeks in the program and pay for your food so you can finally see real results. If you're done with yo yo dieting and want clarity, call PhD weight loss now and mention. No more guessing, just answers. Call 864-644-1900 and say Godwin. That's 864-644-1900 or visit myphdweightloss.com.

[Willie]

Side lives right around the corner for you now from you. So now are you stopping by, seeing him, checking on him?

[Sigh]

Nobody's told me where he lives.

[Hunter]

Somebody gonna drop a pin on his head?

[Martin]

I don't know.

[Willie]

I thought you had his gunsmoke tag you live on.

[Martin]

I got an airtag on me. Bill knows where I'm at at all time. If I'm in the truck, beep beep.

[Sigh]

You live that close to me?

[Martin]

Oh yeah, you right. Before I turn to your right, Stone's house.

[Sigh]

My house. My house is worst yeah, I'm bringing you a pizza one day soon.

[Willie]

Oh, you'll see his truck, matter of fact.

[Hunter]

Oh, yeah, we got to have a pizza night inside.

[Willie]

Yeah, I've stopped by several times. It's on my way home.

[Hunter]

Yeah, which one is it?

[Martin]

Hold on. Beep, beep. The whole world knows where I'm at.

[Sigh]

Yeah, Hunter, he has a red, white, and blue roof. It doesn't matter.

[Hunter]

The guy doesn't.

[Martin]

Hey, look, all you got to do is Google it.

[Willie]

The door ain't ever locked.

[Sigh]

How long have you been there?

[Martin]

How about two weeks?

[Sigh]

Okay, so he moved again.

[Martin]

Yeah, I moved again.

[Sigh]

Oh, I was like, man.

[Martin]

Cause she didn't do. She didn't put enough time on it on the first one.

[Sigh]

Okay.

[Martin]

It kicks us out.

[Hunter]

Oh, I was just right by you. Send Carter.

[Willie]

Yeah, like Carter with a basket of cookies.

[Sigh]

He'll eat them all before.

[Martin]

Hey, look, the door. Hey, me and Christine watch television. Somebody knock on the door. Yeah, come in. Valentine's Day. Him and his wife brought us a bouquet of flowers. Oh, Valentine's.

[Sigh]

You brought your best friend flowers for Valentine's?

[Willie]

Thank you.

[Hunter]

Sweet.

[Willie]

And they live right around the corner, so they're close.

[Sigh]

There we go.

[Martin]

I'm.

[Sigh]

I just got. I gonna be honest with you, sir. Hope your house never gets fixed.

[Hunter]

Yeah. You got a new neighbor.

[Sigh]

I mean, that's.

[Willie]

I want him to move closer to us. I mean, right where he is.

[Martin]

That ain't gonna happen. I know it. Hey, by the 20th of March, I'll be in my house.

[Hunter]

Yeah. Alleged.

[Martin]

That's what the contractors have told me.

[Willie]

I got the over.

[Sigh]

Yeah, I just found this.

[Hunter]

Rediscuss 20 April.

[Sigh]

I'm a honk every night. Just do.

[Hunter]

Ain't going to hear you.

[Martin]

Oh, they told me because he come in and got a check today.

[Willie]

Oh.

[Martin]

Takes about 15 days.

[Willie]

He got the check and he said, oh, we'll have it ready in a couple of weeks.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

Oh, he paid too soon, man.

[Martin]

He's got half of the money, so. There you go.

[Sigh]

Crazy to you. So I see your house every day. I'm so happy right now.

[Hunter]

Yeah, that's awesome.

[Martin]

Now what I told Jason and Al. They said, good grief, you're in our neighborhood.

[Hunter]

They ain't stopped and saw you, though, have they?

[Martin]

Huh?

[Hunter]

Have they stopped and seen you?

[Martin]

No, we ain't big on visits.

[Hunter]

You ain't ever been that close to them. They won't even stop by to say, hold on.

[Martin]

Hey. No, we're not big on visiting.

[Hunter]

Well, I mean, you're still probably six Hours from Al. Because he probably in Gulf Shores.

[Willie]

Oh, yeah.

[Hunter]

You know, it's wintertime.

[Sigh]

I saw Al walking the other day.

[Hunter]

He snowbird. Did you?

[Martin]

You could walk.

[Sigh]

I. You have me and Silent Point two miles from each other.

[Hunter]

Whoa.

[Martin]

That'd be full mile.

[Hunter]

The pizza would be the right temp.

[Martin]

Two miles up, two miles back. Point two. Two miles.

[Hunter]

Point two.

[Martin]

Point two. Point two point two.

[Hunter]

Quarter mile.

[Sigh]

I can get to your house.

[Martin]

Stone throw.

[Hunter]

1500 yards.

[Sigh]

I could get to your house.

[Willie]

A three wood and a pitcher.

[Sigh]

I'm not saying 70 pound.

[Martin]

Are you on? Would you have to swim across the pond to get to me?

[Sigh]

I'm out there with me. You and the normies are out there outside the gate, man.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Sigh]

Which? The gate? I can't say that, but it's gone.

[Martin]

Yeah, Will. He tried to get me to gated community.

[Sigh]

Well, Willie, gated community is no longer gated. It's.

[Hunter]

Can we go home?

[Sigh]

Not without a Bible verse. Sigh. You got 15 minutes.

[Hunter]

Really? I'm sure. I'm trying to take my kids fishing, man.

[Willie]

Where y' all going?

[Martin]

Sorry.

[Hunter]

Other pond by the house. Oh.

[Martin]

Oh, you ain't going to Willis Pond?

[Hunter]

No.

[Martin]

Oh, you ought to go to Willis Pond.

[Hunter]

For what? Hey, I got fish right there. I got fish right there by the house, man, as good as willies. Oh, I ain't trying to catch big old brim. I ain't trying to catch a big. Inside. We got Mickey Mouse poles, brand new from the honey hole because they put them at eye level.

[Willie]

I saw pictures of that on.

[Sigh]

Martin and his kids came by the shop and one bought a 14.99 frog, which I. I felt bad about.

[Hunter]

Yeah, me too.

[Sigh]

And then they both got a new pole. And then we played in the goldfish tank for a while.

[Hunter]

Yeah, we were standing at the cash register. I was trying to pay for their fishing baits, which Jackson's the one that bought the frog because that's what we needed in February. And Waylon decided he wanted a package of freeloaders because I don't have 75 of those.

[Sigh]

He's brand, man.

[Hunter]

Yeah, he stayed on brand. Thank you, Crush City. But then he's standing there while we're trying to pay, and he just looks over. He goes, daddy. I said, what? He said, I see something. And I looked over and I knew what he had seen. Bright colored fishing rods.

[Sigh]

I don't know how he saw them either.

[Hunter]

Yeah, they're. They're at toddler height.

[Sigh]

And I told him to walk that way.

[Hunter]

Yeah, Daddy, I see something. So Here we go. He grabs one that says Hot Wheels on it because he thinks it's his race car.

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

And Jackson goes over and sees Mickey and he's like, mickey? I was like, okay, so we have a Mickey rod and a Hot Wheels rod.

[Willie]

That's the best.

[Hunter]

And so I took him fishing.

[Sigh]

Have you caught one on one yet?

[Martin]

No.

[Sigh]

You know, I've caught a fish on a frozen pole.

[Hunter]

I ain't put a hook on them yet. I threw. I put their little. The plastic fish that come on.

[Martin]

There we go.

[Hunter]

There it is right there. So I thought we were still a team fishing. Like, everybody goes fishing. We catch one, we catch one, Right? Like I wasn't counting it as mine.

[Willie]

That's a good one.

[Hunter]

Well, we got done. And Waylon said, but I didn't catch a fish. And I was like, well, you don't have a hook, so, yeah, you're not going to catch a fish. And so he said, the old thing

[Martin]

is, the guy that bass. Bass pro pool when I was fishing.

[Hunter]

Yeah. No hook.

[Martin]

Yeah, it cut the hook off.

[Hunter]

So today we're gonna go and I'm gonna leave my fishing pole at home and I'm gonna dodge two flying numbers. Size number two Aberdeen hooks flying around there, which I'm gonna take a pair of pliers and bend the barb down on before we get started. So fish may get off, but who cares, right?

[Sigh]

You gotta catch one, though. If you don't catch one, they're gonna.

[Hunter]

Oh, we'll catch one. We catch one.

[Sigh]

I miss a barber.

[Hunter]

We catch.

[Martin]

Hey, catch one, we catch.

[Hunter]

I can't wait to see it now. I don't know who's going to catch it. Probably Waylon gives us plenty of soak time is what I gathered the other day. Waylon. Waylon gonna be a worm dragger, and Jackson going to be like me, like a chatterbait guy, because he reeling. He just real. He's skiing. That little yellow fish back in. Waylon's just out there like, man, slow. I was like, this be about right. A five pounder. Come over there and eat that thing. Ain't got a hook in it. Ain't got. You know. But today we're using live bait, baby. Hey, we use it. We use it. Manners. Today from the honey hoe, I went and bought corkshots. Little, little live bait hooks. I ain't bought that stuff. And I don't know how long.

[Sigh]

You should have bought some crickets.

[Hunter]

They don't like them crickets. I don't. You saw it the other day. They were like no, your children.

[Sigh]

Yeah, I threw one at them. They did not.

[Hunter]

Yeah, their. Their deal with bugs is just squish them them. So at least the shiners, they'll pick up, like touch them and hold them. So that's the. Yeah. I should have got him a goldfish. I should have thrown one in there just for funsies.

[Sigh]

What if there's a giant catfish lurking in that neighborhood?

[Hunter]

Oh, I'm sure there is.

[Sigh]

We should get him.

[Martin]

Yeah, that'd be cool.

[Sigh]

We'll live. Scope. I'm gonna

[Hunter]

on that little bitty now.

[Sigh]

Yeah. The fish I caught was not much bigger than a goldfish on the frozen.

[Hunter]

I'm hoping these are a bunch of little like half pound bass. That's what I'm going for here.

[Sigh]

So I'm hoping so too.

[Hunter]

We'll see. There are some big ones in there because I've put them in there.

[Sigh]

But I do have one update.

[Hunter]

What?

[Sigh]

From the emails update. I don't remember who said South Carolina has terrible pizza, but you have been refuted, sir, by all your fellow South Carolinians. Oh, and there's a place called Joe's New York Pizza with a buffet. Oh, you might want to try that out.

[Hunter]

A pizza buffet.

[Sigh]

My friend Caleb from upstate South Carolina wanted, you know that like literally it was one of the most talked about things in the emails is that South Carolina can make pizza too. So South Carolina stand with you.

[Willie]

I've got an update to when we were in Mississippi and Size Line was coming to meet him at the Buck Commander properties booth. We saw the guy that we prayed for his daughter in the nicu.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Willie]

And she's doing great and she's out and she's healthy. And you remember that sigh. Yep. That was amazing.

[Hunter]

That's awesome.

[Willie]

So he said to tell praise report, man. That's right. A praise report.

[Hunter]

Love it.

[Martin]

Praise.

[Hunter]

I've answered prayers, man.

[Martin]

Yep.

[Hunter]

Is that good? Hunter, we can go home now. I can take my kids fishing.

[Sigh]

Hunter, are we good? Hunter, is this okay with you?

[Willie]

Hunter, I got a verse.

[Hunter]

Hunter, do you have a Bible verse today? I do not, no.

[Sigh]

Hunter, are we allowed to tell people how they should vote?

[Hunter]

Hunter, would you say you're blue, red or purple?

[Willie]

He's turning red. The verse of the day is John 14, 6. And Jesus said, there's one way to the Father and that's through me. I'm the way and the truth and the life.

[Hunter]

There you go.

[Willie]

Let him be your guide.

[Sigh]

Ooh, that actually makes me not believe in aliens,

[Martin]

Sam.