Uncle Si’s Got a Crazy Plan for His Own Ashes

Summary

Duck Call Room: "Uncle Si’s Got a Crazy Plan for His Own Ashes"

Host: Si Robertson & Justin Martin
Guests: John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo
Date: September 9, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this raucous episode of the Duck Call Room, the crew dives into a wild array of nostalgic snacks, hunting tales, sleep habits, and—most memorably—Uncle Si’s evolving ideas for what to do with his ashes. Amidst constant banter and good-natured ribbing, they welcome new official co-host Jacob Mayo, debate duck hunting traditions, relive schoolyard antics, and drift into absurd plans for memorials, wax museums, and even Duck Call Room-themed candle scents. The show is packed with off-the-wall stories and the kind of Southern family humor fans love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jacob Mayo Becomes a Regular

Timestamps: 06:00 – 06:56

• The crew formally welcomes Jacob as an official part of the Duck Call Room team.
• “We’ve always kind of took it easy on him because he’s a guest. Right. But now that you’re in, all the gloves are off.” – Hunter (06:48)
• Jacob laughs about being designated the group “translator” and embraces his upgraded status.

2. Food Nostalgia: From Little Debbie to Wax Candy

Timestamps: 08:41 – 17:36

• Animated debates about favorites like zebra cakes, moon pies, Christmas tree cakes, Hostess cupcakes, and the notorious “wax bottle” candies.
• Si shares how his childhood was fueled by weird snack combinations:
  “The diabolical combo they gave you in summer school when you’re in first grade is a Capri Sun and a Moon Pie. Banana Moon Pie.” – Si (10:01)
• Martin and Jacob relive failed attempts to drink from wax bottle candies:
  “According to Google, no, you should not swallow the wax on wax bottle candy… it’s indigestible and not a food item.” – Martin (17:12)

3. Duck Stamps, Hunting Culture & Club Names

Timestamps: 04:10 – 05:56

• The ease of modern duck hunting with digital Duck Stamps is discussed (and Elmer Fudd’s inability to adapt).
• Various attempts at naming their community (“Quack Addicts,” “Duckaholics Anonymous,” “Uncle Si Sidekicks”) resurface with laughter.
• “It’s always about the quack, boys.” – Jacob (04:44)

4. Wax Museums, Unusual Memorial Ideas & Si’s Ashes

Timestamps: 21:04 – 26:05

• The crew jokes about getting Si immortalized as a wax statue and discusses wax museum costs.
• Si recounts his wife’s plan for handling his ashes:
  “I’m going to have a little heart container, you know, with a chain on it. And I’m gonna put you in that heart container and I’m gonna have you around my neck, close to my heart all day.” – Jacob (22:20)
• Hunter and Martin escalate the absurdity:
  “Can I get on the list for some of your ashes?... I want to load some shotgun shells with Si and see if you can kill ducks with blanks.” – Hunter (25:46)
• The team riffs on even wilder commemoration methods—from candles smelling like “gunpowder, sage, and menthol” to using Si’s ashes in hunting mementos.

5. Childhood Stories, School Shenanigans & Biting Horses

Timestamps: 09:59 – 20:01

• Si and Jacob reminisce about being hyperactive in grade school and getting in trouble—often fueled by those wild snack combos.
• Si’s habit of “biting back” to teach kids and horses a lesson:
  “When my kids were kids, they was in the biting stage… Oh yeah, yeah, I bite, broke them with that.” – Jacob (20:10)

6. Wild Sleep Habits & Weighted Blanket Woes

Timestamps: 35:15 – 44:47

• Martin recalls falling out of bed as a kid and needing railing on a queen bed.
• The group delves into peculiar sleep preferences, from sleeping fully swaddled or under weighted blankets to pillow aversions and unconventional sleeping partners.
• “I like it so heavy… it’s hard to turn over.” – Jacob (41:33)
• “Having not a long neck’s probably a good thing… if somebody tried to, like, get your neck… it’d be hard.” – Si (44:16)
• Hunter admits: “My head too big to be below my shoulders and never get back up… I ain’t got no neck either.” (43:39)

7. Would You Rather: Height, Weight & Shaq Debates

Timestamps: 46:30 – 48:18

• The crew ponders whether they’d rather be 5 feet or 7 feet tall and launches into playful Shaquille O’Neal banter.
• “How many seven foot people have you ever seen in a fight?” – Si (46:47)
• Si is skeptical about Shaq’s real greatness:
  “Sigh has a lot of slander towards Shaquille O’Neal on this podcast.” – Martin (47:47)

8. Pop Culture Tangents: Drag Queen Family Feud & Old School TV

Timestamps: 50:03 – 52:24

• Jacob unexpectedly praises a drag queen episode of Family Feud, making the group erupt in disbelief.
• “Are you saying you enjoyed a drag queen Family Feud episode?” – Si (50:54)
• The classic “know your limits” message comes through:
  “A man’s got to know his limitations. I’m not good at games. I’m good at wit and imagination.” – Jacob (52:21)

9. Faith & Closing Reflections

Timestamps: 52:43 – 54:13

• The episode closes on a more heartfelt note, with Hunter sharing a moving Bible verse from Hosea and reflecting on feedback from fans: “They basically said this podcast just keeps them company… we’re going to keep being weird and talking about weird stuff and trying to just show you the joy of the Lord.” – Hunter (53:55)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you eat Vicks Vapor Rub, you’re indestructible.” – Si Robertson (25:35)
• “I would just rather in a couple of months go with it. Well, I’m going to go with, he’s not dead yet. I’m not saying, ‘Hey, give me awesome skin cells and let me do it right now.’” – Martin (26:17)
• “How bored do you have to be to watch that documentary [on wax bottle candy]?” – Hunter (16:31)
• "Do yalls wives… can they sleep with the covers over their head? That is like John Luke can. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard of in my life." – Si Robertson (38:44)
• “I had a grill before grills were man. I had a grill for personal self, I created, I guess, myself.” – Si Robertson (33:12)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Jacob becomes a full-time host: 06:00 – 06:56
• Wax candy nostalgia: 14:00 – 17:36
• Si’s wife’s plan for his ashes: 22:20 – 22:34
• Plans to put Si’s ashes in duck shells: 25:46 – 26:05
• Weighted blanket/Swaddle talk: 41:00 – 42:47
• Shaq debate: 46:30 – 48:18
• Family Feud drag episode riff: 51:00 – 52:24
• Closing reflection and Hosea verse: 52:43 – 54:13

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Episode Tone

• Rambunctious and lighthearted, with classic Duck Commander mischief and barbs flying constantly.
• Deeply nostalgic for both childhood and hunting culture, yet irreverent and quick to mock themselves and each other.
• The show’s heart comes through when the crew pauses for faith-based encouragement and genuine reflection.

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Summary

This episode encapsulates everything Duck Call Room fans expect: good-old-boy storytelling, ridiculous “what if” scenarios, nostalgia-soaked snack debates, family ribbing, and even unexpected tenderness about life, loss, and legacy. Whether you’re here for tales of Moon Pies, Si’s plans for the afterlife, or just a hearty laugh, this one’s loaded with both nonsense and camaraderie—keeping the Duck Commander tradition alive, one wild conversation at a time.

Transcript

[Si Robertson]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions. New Welch's Fusions are not your little brother's fruit snacks. They're a combination of one fruit flavor on the outside and a different fruit flavor in the juicy inside. Watermelon and lemon, peach and green apple, blueberry and raspberry. These delicious combos are for experienced taste buds only.

[Martin]

Please fuse responsibly.

[Si Robertson]

Welch's Fusions are available in store and online at major retailers.

[Martin]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm Insurance may all seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like getting a speech from your third cousins plus one at your wedding. When you needed a speech from your best man, you wouldn't settle for just any speech.

[Si Robertson]

So don't settle for just any insurance.

[Jacob]

When it comes to getting the help.

[Martin]

You need, State Farm is the real deal.

[Si Robertson]

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Jacob]

Oh, hi. Y' all started something with that scrap.

[Martin]

You started it.

[Hunter]

Yeah. You're the one.

[Martin]

One that drove to Springfield.

[Si Robertson]

I just walked in.

[Hunter]

Just. You're the one getting your teeth 3D. I just. Why did everybody keep you in glasses? Those have been fixed.

[Martin]

I think the AI Only knows size size glasses.

[Jacob]

S. Oh, and that's another thing. They had a big deal on that the other day in the. In the news.

[Hunter]

Well, in that case, welcome back to the Duck call room.

[Martin]

They had a big what?

[Jacob]

They had a big deal on AI on pbs? No, it wasn't on pbs. I was just flipping through the channels.

[Si Robertson]

Nickelodeon.

[Jacob]

It was. It was there. AI.

[Hunter]

AI.

[Jacob]

And AI is. They're using it for therapy.

[Martin]

For therapy?

[Jacob]

Yeah, therapy instead.

[Martin]

Well, kids.

[Jacob]

Kids are using. Okay. Yo, yo, here's. Here's how it's bad. The human race is gone. Oh, boy. That kids would rather Trace Trust a computer than mom and dad.

[Martin]

To be fair, that Alabama receiver has a therapy pet horse. You didn't see that?

[Hunter]

No.

[Martin]

He has an emotional support horse, but it's just a doll.

[Hunter]

Oh, it's a doll.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Martin]

And he paints his fingernails. I'm officially the age where kids are ruining football.

[Jacob]

Here's my. Here's my support.

[Martin]

Well, yeah, you got feel.

[Jacob]

Frog.

[Hunter]

Frog, Froggerson.

[Martin]

The world's wild Always.

[Jacob]

You know, I asked him the real important questions. I don't listen to humans.

[Martin]

That's. Well, that's.

[Jacob]

Humans are on my hit list.

[Hunter]

Or when you watch something on AI Especially second grade.

[Jacob]

That's right.

[Martin]

Yeah. Y' all have no idea what we've been talking about. But it's been a wild morning already.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Martin]

So. But now we're rolling.

[Si Robertson]

Good morning.

[Jacob]

Good morning. That's right. Wake up.

[Hunter]

Longtime listener, first time caller.

[Jacob]

No. I used to watch stuff like daffy Duck.

[Hunter]

Daffy Duck.

[Martin]

If you had to pick daffy or Donald.

[Jacob]

Clean, Good clean. Something about that God created. Okay. Before human beings got involved with it and then just screwed it all up.

[Hunter]

I'm a daffy kind of guy.

[Martin]

Are you a daffy or Donald?

[Jacob]

I'll rugby daffy.

[Hunter]

Okay. Yeah. I've never killed a true blue. Black ducks.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Give me daffy. Them white ones are a dime.

[Martin]

Or doesn't we got to be killing.

[Jacob]

Daffy, our Bugs Bunny.

[Martin]

Daffy, hard to kill.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Go with Bugs bunny.

[Hunter]

Bugs Bunny?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Why Bugs?

[Jacob]

All right. Well, he just yo also hard to kill. He was a rabbit. Rabbits are nice.

[Martin]

Jacob, are you old enough to have watched the looney tunes?

[Hunter]

I did. I guarantee you. He sells her shirts.

[Jacob]

He's got a Toby.

[Martin]

If anybody's headed to six flags, they're gonna stop.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, yeah. What's the little red bearded little guy with the.

[Hunter]

Yosemite Sam.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, there he is.

[Hunter]

That's who used to be on the mad. The mud flaps. Like all the big trucks. I always like that.

[Si Robertson]

No, I like that. And then what's the little dude that like to hunt? I'm hunting wabbits.

[Hunter]

Elmer.

[Martin]

Elmer.

[Si Robertson]

Elmer Foot like him.

[Hunter]

Elmer wouldn't know what to do Elmer wouldn't know what to do with the fact that you could get your duck stamp online at duck snap dot com.

[Jacob]

That's right. He wouldn't know what to go with digital. I wouldn't be good.

[Hunter]

I mean, could you imagine if Elmer could just pull out a smartphone, get his duck stamp, and then shoot Daffy 15 times and not kill him?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Martin]

I don't think he was hunting legal anyway. But you should. I don't think he probably had a stamp or his license.

[Hunter]

Probably not.

[Martin]

But he never even knew what season it was.

[Hunter]

But the good news is, if you need one these days, it's super easy to get at duck stamp.com. duck season right around the corner. So whether you're hunting daffy, blue wing, teal, Donald mallards, it doesn't matter.

[Si Robertson]

Blue wings.

[Martin]

You already said.

[Jacob]

It's always. It's always about the quack boys.

[Hunter]

It's always about the quack.

[Jacob]

Sometimes you got, we're after the quacks.

[Martin]

But there's a lot more quacks than there used to be. Yeah, we know that.

[Hunter]

New one born every day.

[Martin]

He's Shaking his head, boys.

[Hunter]

What you got?

[Jacob]

No, I said. What he said is more than it used to be.

[Hunter]

Yeah, that's why I said. New one made every day, too.

[Martin]

Microphone nicknamed y' all the Quack Addicts.

[Hunter]

The Quack Addicts.

[Si Robertson]

Well, R and T. Duck. I used to have a promo called the Quack Heads.

[Hunter]

Yeah, well, they got. They make a. They make a duck call called Quack.

[Martin]

Aren't we the Duckaholics Anonymous?

[Hunter]

Duckaholics Anonymous is what.

[Si Robertson]

Is what Da.

[Hunter]

Our fan club. I guess that's what you call. I don't really know what that would be. What was it you got to sign a little limited edition duck call. Yeah, it was in, like, 10% off the website or something. Every time.

[Martin]

We used to. Remember when we tried to name our fans?

[Hunter]

Yeah. What'd we ever land on?

[Martin]

It was like episode one.

[Hunter]

The uncle size something or another. Sidekick. Sidekicks. Is that what it was? Yeah.

[Martin]

So do you remember episode one of this podcast?

[Jacob]

No.

[Hunter]

When we really didn't know what we were doing. Now we definitely.

[Martin]

Yeah. Now we still don't know.

[Hunter]

We thought we had an idea then.

[Jacob]

We have never known.

[Martin]

What episode is.

[Jacob]

Hey, that's the fun of it.

[Hunter]

Yeah, it is the fun of it.

[Martin]

I think this one is 481.

[Jacob]

Wow. Who ever thought it.

[Hunter]

Have we introduced. Jacob is now a recurring member of the Duck Call room. Have we officially official?

[Martin]

Last time Jacob was on Easy.

[Jacob]

Official translator.

[Martin]

Yeah, you weren't here, but he translated side and side. Said, you have a seat anytime you want. And I don't think I even knew that that was just a thing now.

[Hunter]

Yeah, well, that's an official thing now, which is why I didn't take time to introduce Jake. Normally when he's been on here, it's like, we got to guess. But no, Jacob's just one of us now. So we actually need to go deep.

[Martin]

Dive into Jacob's psyche today to find out if he truly fits in.

[Hunter]

Well, now we get to. You know, we've always kind of took it easy on him because he's a guest. Right. But now that you're in, all the gloves are off.

[Martin]

Big daddy, what's your opinion on Captain D's?

[Jacob]

It's time. It's time once for.

[Hunter]

Oh, what'd you say?

[Martin]

What did he just say?

[Hunter]

Something came in the mail today. That's what he said.

[Martin]

Oh, geez.

[Jacob]

Something came in the mail.

[Martin]

I get it. Anyway, Jacob, you did have somebody.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Martin]

You don't have.

[Si Robertson]

We don't have time for silingual.

[Hunter]

Today we're going back to 2014.

[Martin]

But something did come in the mail.

[Hunter]

Came in the mail.

[Martin]

Somebody did email in after that last episode. Guy named Brett said, jacob Mayo is my new favorite guest. That was the subject line.

[Jacob]

Well, the.

[Martin]

And then the entire email is. That is all.

[Hunter]

That is all.

[Martin]

That's the whole email.

[Jacob]

Hey.

[Hunter]

Well, now he's no longer a guest.

[Jacob]

Hey. The man recognizes talent.

[Si Robertson]

Short and quick, to the point.

[Martin]

Hey, those are. Those are the emails I actually read.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

If you could put it in the subject line.

[Martin]

No. Well, some people put. I mean, if it's short, some people put a whole book in the subject line. And I'm like, you know, that's tough.

[Si Robertson]

It's the wrong publisher, you know.

[Martin]

Yeah. Because your boy's not even that good at reading regular.

[Si Robertson]

But what's the deal on Captain D's? For real? Like, you don't like it? I don't like personally either.

[Martin]

No, it's just thing that we all really enjoy. It's a great little.

[Si Robertson]

Like, as a kid, I didn't want to go there. Like my brother and sister liked it, but I didn't.

[Martin]

I knew I liked your brother more.

[Jacob]

Well, they made you go, look, there's.

[Si Robertson]

One person I know that likes Captain. Or two people.

[Martin]

No, everyone in this room.

[Si Robertson]

Me, two mama, two papa, and Ryan Howard. So that's the box.

[Jacob]

All right.

[Martin]

I no longer enjoy Captain D's. Everybody go to Catfish Charlie's.

[Hunter]

You're not gonna change Philip McMillan.

[Martin]

No, I love Captain Days. What else are we big into, Little Debbie?

[Hunter]

Oh, Jacob doesn't. Jacob is a clean eater.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Martin]

He lives a healthy lifestyle of pickleball and normal foods.

[Si Robertson]

I like. You know what I really liked growing up? Zebra cakes.

[Hunter]

You know, they made them better and made them look like a Christmas tree.

[Si Robertson]

Really?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Have you ever had a Christmas tree cake?

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, I have. I didn't know that was associated, though.

[Martin]

This podcast is going to change your life.

[Hunter]

If you have a Little Debbie only makes about three things. She just decorated.

[Si Robertson]

What do they make? They make the oatmeal cream pies.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Other thing. Little black thing with the swirlies on the top.

[Martin]

Fudge drop, a drown.

[Si Robertson]

No, no, no, not those. It's looks like a cupcake, but it's covered chocolate.

[Hunter]

Oh, no, that's. That's. That's Hostess.

[Jacob]

Oh, man.

[Si Robertson]

What is that? What is that?

[Martin]

Ding dong.

[Si Robertson]

Ding dong.

[Hunter]

That's what they sold when you got by the paper mill. Like.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's.

[Hunter]

That's a. That's Balcomville snack.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Oh, Balkanville.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, I got a question, and if we're going on this. Do y' all like moon pies?

[Martin]

Who doesn't like a moon?

[Jacob]

Oh, wait, who does not like.

[Martin]

Martin, When I was in.

[Si Robertson]

I was in summer school in, like.

[Jacob]

Sixth grade, and you had to. You couldn't just have a moon Pie.

[Martin]

RC Cola.

[Jacob]

You had to have RC Cola.

[Si Robertson]

You know, a diabolical combo that they gave you at summer school when you're in first grade is a Capri Sun.

[Jacob]

I have a.

[Si Robertson]

And a Moon Pie. Banana Moon pie.

[Jacob]

Oh, wait a minute. Hold. That's a good. That's a good moon Pie.

[Si Robertson]

Drinking that with, like, a strawberry kiwi Capri Sun. That's the craziest combo you could ever give a first grader.

[Martin]

I'm interested in trying it, but I'm more interested in the fact that you had to go to summer school in the first grade.

[Si Robertson]

I had it issues. What do you mean was.

[Martin]

What was wrong?

[Jacob]

Addition.

[Si Robertson]

No, I had, like, vowels. No, it wasn't that. I just didn't want to sit in my desk.

[Martin]

That tracks.

[Si Robertson]

And so I got a lot of spankings and stuff.

[Martin]

Oh, you just. They said you're running summer school.

[Si Robertson]

Pretty much.

[Jacob]

Oh, he was hyper.

[Hunter]

I can't imagine why you didn't want to sit in your desk. I gave you a Capri sun and a freaking moon.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I'm Banana Moon Pilots. The Moon Pilots. All right. The Capri. That thing is trash.

[Martin]

What?

[Jacob]

That thing is awful.

[Martin]

Capri. Capri Sun.

[Jacob]

That's like a Diet Coke. Oh, yo, Capri. Yeah.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

But I guess summer school is a good thing.

[Jacob]

Got a little old straw that, you know, the size of a. Yo, you.

[Si Robertson]

Gotta stab it to make your hole in there.

[Jacob]

Well, no, you can't.

[Si Robertson]

You can't stab yourself.

[Martin]

His eyes weren't good enough? No, he was poking holes all over.

[Jacob]

It didn't have anything to do with my eyes.

[Hunter]

All right. It's the greatest time of year. Look, everybody knows you got your shotgun, you got your decoys, you got your waders, you got your bags, you got all the things. But do you have your Duck stamp? That is the one thing that can take a great day of hunting and completely ruin it is if you don't have one. But look, now, there's no excuse. You don't have to go to the post office. You don't have to do all these things. You can just head over to duck stamp.com and get your digital version that then is loaded onto your phone and your. Whatever phone you got loaded right There into your wallet app, and you have it. No matter what, no matter where you're at, all the things, you don't have to remember it. It's not going to get wet, it's not going to get broken. You just go to your wallet, part of your deal, and boom, you've got it right there. Duck stamp dot com. It loads. It's easy. You're legal. You're ready to go. Even if you're off the grid. And you don't have to worry about keeping up with it all season. It's right there when you need it. Plus, every stamp helps protect wetlands and keep the duck population strong for the next generation to enjoy. So it's not just a legal thing. It is a legacy thing. And whether it's your first duck stamp or it's your 31st, like mine, they're still cool, man. I remember buying my first one for kids. That's a big deal whenever they have to get it. And so now it is an easy thing to get. There's no. You have no excuses to not have a duck stamp anymore. And like I said, we're preserving, we're conserving to make sure that this tradition is able to be passed down for generations to come. Go to duck stamp.com dark and grab yours. Now let's do some good and go shoot some ducks. That's duck stamp.com duck. Why are you drinking Capri Sun?

[Martin]

What were you doing in the 90s drinking Capri Suns in the military?

[Jacob]

Some kid walked by and said, hey, I have one of these. And I took a swallow of it, and you saw it.

[Martin]

He had one Capri sun in his life and he remembered, oh, no.

[Jacob]

Hey, it was trash.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I think I was the kid. I didn't really like pre sauce.

[Si Robertson]

I didn't need it.

[Jacob]

Hey, it was garbage.

[Hunter]

Yeah, it's.

[Martin]

It's just delicious.

[Jacob]

You couldn't get nothing up through it.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, what was the Kool Aid Jammers?

[Hunter]

Yeah, the little plastic bottles.

[Jacob]

Hey, don't bl. Don't knock Kool Aid.

[Si Robertson]

These are good.

[Jacob]

What are they? Hey, Kool Aid's good stuff.

[Martin]

No, I got the terrible one down there.

[Hunter]

Jim Jones.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Don't be jumping on Kool Aid. What? Hey, appreciate him.

[Martin]

No, the Saints have a cornerback and his name is Kool Aid.

[Hunter]

And I Love Kool A. McKinstry.

[Martin]

Anyways, what were those. Those little barrels? Was it called a jug?

[Si Robertson]

I think it was literally called jugs.

[Martin]

Those were trash.

[Si Robertson]

Those were trash.

[Martin]

It was like they almost put sugar in it, but they forgot and you.

[Si Robertson]

Take one gulp, you drink the whole thing. How big the hole was.

[Martin]

You ever have those?

[Jacob]

What are you talking about?

[Martin]

Them little jugs, like pull ups of jugs of like. Like they had pink.

[Hunter]

Yeah, they were. They were like the Fruit stripe of the.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Oh, that looks great.

[Martin]

Little hug drink.

[Jacob]

Little hugs. Yeah.

[Martin]

You never had those.

[Jacob]

What came my mind was the little cokes.

[Martin]

Little.

[Jacob]

Okay. And it was made little bitty Kool aid drinks. It was made out of wax. So you just bit the bottle off and drink it.

[Martin]

I remember those. Those were for older people. I found one of my grandparents basement that had been since he was a child. It was not good.

[Jacob]

You could actually drink the drink and then choose. Choose the wax. Really? Yeah.

[Hunter]

That's cool.

[Jacob]

It was okay. And it was actually good. You just threw the whole thing in your mouth. Then when you busted it.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Hey, that's interesting.

[Martin]

It was disgusting. You're knocking on Capri Suns and you're fired up about these things.

[Si Robertson]

So nasty.

[Jacob]

What do you mean so that. No, that's a two in one eating a wax bottle. Hey, that's like going to a swing.

[Martin]

That's a supposed to be like chewing gum because you could also like bite into it. Why do you know about these? I watched a documentary on them.

[Si Robertson]

A documentary?

[Jacob]

Yeah. See, that's how cool they were. What? They had a documentary.

[Martin]

He watched a documentary on fun express Wax bottle candy drinks.

[Hunter]

And why do they have the name the term nip in them?

[Si Robertson]

Nip? L. Nip Wax.

[Jacob]

Well, where that come from was from old women taking a nipple. Oh yeah. What?

[Martin]

Taking a nip of what?

[Jacob]

Lightning.

[Martin]

What is white lightning?

[Jacob]

Old sweet women that you used to watch walk down the sidewalk. Old. They was always sneaking a nip of white lightning.

[Hunter]

Really? That's what they called like a little shot.

[Jacob]

Oh yeah. Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

I'm not going.

[Martin]

I knew that. But I don't think a bunch of the old sweet women.

[Si Robertson]

I've learned a lot today.

[Martin]

Look, I think you need to have.

[Hunter]

A candy store in here. Like you go back to the vintage candies. Like you can go in there and get all the. You can have.

[Si Robertson]

Do you want instant diabetes? Here, take this wax.

[Jacob]

Hey, you want that? Take this.

[Hunter]

You can have happy hour on nickel nips.

[Martin]

Yeah, little white lightning.

[Hunter]

Why are they called nickel nibs? Because they're a nickel.

[Martin]

I don't know, man. They just stunner. Oh yeah.

[Hunter]

How bored do you have to be to watch that documentary?

[Martin]

How much time is on your hands? And how far away is your girlfriend? You realize you.

[Hunter]

You Realize you pirate like you can. You don't have to get your money's worth out of it. I wasn't bored when I watched it.

[Martin]

It was kind of cool. Yeah, what, like, what are we talking about?

[Hunter]

I don't know.

[Si Robertson]

Hunter knew about that White lightning. He's just trying to fail something.

[Hunter]

I'm just trying to figure out what about your Netflix algorithm pops up a documentary on nickel Nip.

[Jacob]

I don't.

[Hunter]

I don't even remember where I watched it.

[Si Robertson]

Asked me a true or false question. If that documentary was a real thing, I'd have put a million dollars on false.

[Hunter]

Oh, they'll make a documentary.

[Jacob]

Hold on.

[Hunter]

Anything?

[Martin]

Did you eat the bottle?

[Si Robertson]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's.

[Martin]

Ladies and gentlemen, yeah, according to the overview of Google, no, you should not swallow the wax on wax bottle candy. The wax is indigestible and not a food item.

[Si Robertson]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Hunter]

That just means it comes out.

[Martin]

Hey, this Man's Digest is a modern marvel.

[Hunter]

That means you've bottled your crap.

[Si Robertson]

You're the junkyard dog now.

[Jacob]

Oh, no. Hey, y'.

[Martin]

All, he's eating Vic's Vapor Rub, yo.

[Si Robertson]

Vapor Rub?

[Martin]

Oh, yeah, he just used to eat it.

[Si Robertson]

You're.

[Jacob]

Hey, you're.

[Si Robertson]

You're a creature.

[Jacob]

I ain't gonna lie to you. You look like Jack Elam.

[Si Robertson]

VapoRub mixed with.

[Jacob]

And look, Vicks, VapoRub is good for hemorrhoids.

[Si Robertson]

I might need them, but, I mean.

[Jacob]

I'm gonna eat them. Hey, hey, the doctors have finally backed me up on that.

[Martin]

Yeah, and other things are backing you up with all the wax inside your small intestine.

[Si Robertson]

So that's.

[Jacob]

Like y' all never went up to a sweet gum tree and took a pocket knife and carved a little hole in that. That bark of that tree. Then come back here too, later. Two days later and get you some gum.

[Martin]

They sell Big Red at every gas station.

[Jacob]

They sell what?

[Martin]

Gum?

[Jacob]

Like, yeah, but that's. Any old gum.

[Si Robertson]

Like, for a dollar, you just went.

[Martin]

On a two day journey.

[Jacob]

Hey, you got to pay money for that. I can go out. Well, the pocket knife on the sweet gum tree and cut it. Come back two days later. Give me a shoe.

[Si Robertson]

We know your poker game money ain't a problem. Come on now.

[Jacob]

Well, I know, but that's beside the point. Y' all don't understand.

[Martin]

Hey, I don't understand.

[Jacob]

You gotta know about things that you can get from nature.

[Si Robertson]

That is true.

[Jacob]

That's where we get all our medicine from.

[Martin]

That's where Vic's vaporub comes from.

[Si Robertson]

That's. Yeah.

[Martin]

You go cut a hole in a tree, take a swallow. No more hemorrhoids.

[Si Robertson]

It's your swallow, son.

[Jacob]

I would say that's false. What that, what he said that mixed vaporubs come from a tree.

[Martin]

You just said all our medicine comes from nature.

[Hunter]

I'm sure menthol was. I mean, it's essentially menthol y' all.

[Jacob]

Getting on me about chewing. Chewing up wax that you chewing tobacco.

[Si Robertson]

I can't take you to a wax museum, that's for sure. You might start taking bites.

[Jacob]

You never know.

[Hunter]

Hey, look over there. He done took a bite out of Taylor Swift.

[Si Robertson]

You go to the JFK spot. He's already took a bite out of the shoulder. Boys.

[Hunter]

Yeah, sending by Vander Holyfield. That other ear gone.

[Si Robertson]

We're about to put up something beside it'll be side biting Mike Tyson's ear off in the wax museum.

[Jacob]

Hey, I have been a horse on there. I told y' all about that.

[Hunter]

Yeah, you told me.

[Martin]

Yeah, that was a bad call.

[Jacob]

No, it wasn't a bad call.

[Si Robertson]

What do you mean? What happened?

[Jacob]

You gotta show them who's.

[Hunter]

Oh, you weren't here for that.

[Si Robertson]

Show them who's boss. Yeah, well, let that horse kick you.

[Jacob]

No, no, I, I, it even gets worse. When my kids were kids, they was, they was in the biting stage.

[Si Robertson]

And you bite them back.

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Si Robertson]

I don't think that's a bad move.

[Jacob]

But hey, here's the thing. I bite it. Broke them with that.

[Hunter]

If you're going to get bit by side, you better make it happen in the next three months because in December that's going to hurt a lot worse.

[Jacob]

That's right. I'm going to have new choppers.

[Hunter]

Yeah. There ain't going to be no gaps in it.

[Jacob]

Ain't no gap.

[Martin]

It's weird that size. Not at any wax museums anywhere.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, we should.

[Hunter]

Hey Wex people though. I mean, aren't most wax museums aren't. Aren't they gone?

[Martin]

I've never been to one because they creep me out. But I went to the one in Pigeon Forge on the Internet. I figured that's where size at.

[Jacob]

Look at him. Chopper.

[Martin]

Pigeon Forge or like Hot Springs or Branson. Or Branson. Yeah, those are the three where you would have Uncle Sigh and he's not there.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, yeah. No, I've.

[Martin]

Ladies and gentlemen, if you work at any of those three wax museums, which is probably the last four. Three of the last four on Earth, please put Cyan Yeah, give me a call.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, look up how much it costs to make a wax person.

[Hunter]

Are we about to make a wax sigh?

[Si Robertson]

You know, how cool.

[Hunter]

Are we about to start a GoFundMe.

[Martin]

That'S like a wax.

[Si Robertson]

I was thinking that.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Can we take up a donation?

[Si Robertson]

Can we do one with the grill that we just showed to the AI character of Sa A grill wax.

[Martin]

He's got tears in his eyes and.

[Jacob]

He can't talk about how funny it.

[Si Robertson]

Would be with a wax character.

[Martin]

With sa having.

[Hunter]

Look, I always wanted to be taxi dermied when he's gone. Hey, man, we can do all these.

[Martin]

Holy moly.

[Si Robertson]

How much is it?

[Jacob]

No, no, I'm laughing because my wife. What? My wife told me this morning. Hey, she told me how you need to take. Get ready to take me to the doctor's office. I got an appointment. And she said, I forgot to call Liz to tell. You know, I, I thought about it, but then I didn't call it. So now it's, it's, it's time for my appointment. You got to run me down. But before she's done that, she said, you know what? I finally figured out what I'm going to do with you. And that's what he talking about. She said, wouldn't you die if you die first?

[Si Robertson]

Is a common conversation.

[Jacob]

Yeah, well, hey, open.

[Hunter]

When you reach that age, it is.

[Jacob]

Oh, you'll understand. When you get her age, old people always have a little silly conversation. But she said, I'm going to have you cremated.

[Hunter]

Oh.

[Jacob]

I'm going to have a little heart container, you know, with a chain on it. And I'm gonna put you in that hot container and I'm gonna have you around my neck, close to my heart all day. That's what I'm gonna do.

[Martin]

And since you did that event at a crematorium, it'll probably be free.

[Jacob]

Yeah. But hey, they told me I thought was going to get ice cream.

[Hunter]

It's 20, 25. Everything's more expensive. Life comes at you hard from every which of way. And look, it may happen. You may look up, you may be buried in credit card debt, loan debt. And it's human nature to put it off and say, you know what, we'll just figure that out later once we get all this fixed. But you never get it fixed. But our friends over at Done with Debt can help that because they have discovered a little known strategy that works in your favor to dramatically reduce or even erase your debt altogether. They aggressively engage everyone you owe money to in the Month of September and here's why. They know which lenders and credit card companies are doing year end accounting and need to cut deals. They even know which ones have year end audits and need to get your debt off their books. That means you need to get started with Dunwood Debt now in September. Dunwood Debt accomplishes this without bankruptcy or new loans. In fact, most clients end up with more money in their pocket in the first month. And look, it doesn't matter. Like you see everything around here now, it seems to be thriving. But back in the early days of this, I had K. Robertson hand me a paycheck and say hey, don't, don't, don't cash that till Tuesday. We got paid on Friday. And so I mean you don't know what's happening behind the scenes. A lot of people, different things, everybody struggling with real things. But you don't. You'll never get caught up paying the high penalties and interest and all the things. Talk with the folks at Dumbwood Debt now get you out of that. So get started now while you still have time. Go to Dunwood that.com and talk with one of their specialists for free. Visit dumbwedt.com donewithdet.com.

[Jacob]

Well, we come up with some weird subjects.

[Martin]

Yeah, we do. If, if we did get a wax, a good one of psy.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Light life size and then cremated it, that would be a hundred and 50,000 to $300,000 just gone.

[Si Robertson]

What do you mean cremated?

[Hunter]

Never mind guys, if we can raise 150 GS, let's do something better than that.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, yeah, but what do you mean cremated?

[Martin]

Just if we melted the wax like.

[Si Robertson]

After it was done.

[Martin]

Yeah, I was just saying like that's.

[Jacob]

How much money would you make me into wax and then melt it then, then burn it?

[Martin]

I mean it wouldn't make any sense because it would cost, I don't know.

[Hunter]

But if you come with a wick and you became a candle, that'd be kind of cool.

[Si Robertson]

Oh yes. What kind of that smell? That Italian pizza you had when you were younger and put it on a.

[Jacob]

Candlestick, don't keep it.

[Martin]

What would a Cy Robertson candle smell like?

[Hunter]

Gunpowder. That's what it needs to smell like.

[Martin]

Gunpowder and sage.

[Si Robertson]

I think it'd be a couple mixed.

[Hunter]

Gunpowder, sage and menthol. When you got to his back, it'd be all menthol from the years of Vicks Vapor Rub. Yeah, that's what I was about to say.

[Martin]

That's the grossest vic.

[Jacob]

Vapor Rub is a cure all For a lot of stuff.

[Martin]

No, it's not.

[Jacob]

Hey, you know what I'm saying? It really is.

[Si Robertson]

I'll tell you this. If you eat Vicks vapors, rub, you're indestructible.

[Hunter]

Hey, I do have a question, though. Back to this deal. If Christy really gets you cremated, can I get on list for some of your ashes?

[Martin]

What?

[Hunter]

I want to put.

[Martin]

Why are you laughing? I want to put it in a duck right up there.

[Jacob]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Hunter]

I want to load some shotgun shells.

[Martin]

With SA and see if you can kill them with blanks.

[Hunter]

Well, and that way, if I go, well, you use the ashes as a buffer instead of, like, using flax seed and stuff for your buffer and your shotgun shell, you can use ashes.

[Jacob]

He's saying all this, and I could. There's a lot of stuff that was said about gunpowder.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I just think it would be fun to kill a duck with psy.

[Martin]

Hey, I would just rather like in a couple of months go with it.

[Hunter]

Well, I'm going to go with, he's not dead yet. I'm not saying, hey, gave me awesome skin cells and let me do it right now.

[Martin]

Like, yeah, obviously, I will say, Facebook has killed you again. I'm pretty sure I've had three people come in the store this week and go, how's Uncle Sa doing? I said, well, he slapped me really hard yesterday, so I think he's all right.

[Si Robertson]

I'm just saying about AI. Talk about AI.

[Hunter]

Unless Christine's gonna wear those bongo drums around her neck, there's gonna be more of him than what's in that locket. That's all I'm saying.

[Martin]

I mean, I would like to have a little of them for this room.

[Hunter]

Well, we can do that.

[Si Robertson]

Can I have one pair of socks?

[Martin]

No, I'm getting the socks, bro.

[Hunter]

Oh, his sock collection. No. Oh, no, you don't sell them.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Martin]

EBay.

[Si Robertson]

Quit athlete's foot for my uncle.

[Hunter]

Oh, have you seen them feet?

[Martin]

They're clean, son.

[Hunter]

Clean, man.

[Jacob]

No, I've got pretty feet.

[Hunter]

Yeah, he ain't filled.

[Si Robertson]

Have you ever thought about selling pictures?

[Jacob]

Hey, Bill Robinson was the only man I know that could walk up a 45 degree hill, a muddy 45 degree.

[Martin]

Hill, because he had eight.

[Jacob]

He would never slip. He'd go all the way to the top eight. Nobody else did not do it because, hey, you know, he didn't have feet.

[Si Robertson]

He had bunions.

[Jacob]

No, he had mud grips.

[Si Robertson]

What's your bunions?

[Jacob]

Which. His bunions.

[Martin]

He had some tread.

[Jacob]

His bunions were about to Size.

[Si Robertson]

Did you go to Skyjacker and get them put on?

[Martin]

Yeah, they were wild.

[Si Robertson]

I mean, yeah, I've seen him.

[Jacob]

He had ugly feet.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, yeah, we got.

[Martin]

I mean.

[Si Robertson]

I mean, if you were at Duck.

[Martin]

Duck Commander Sunday, Jace went off on his feet.

[Si Robertson]

If you're at Duck Commander Sunday, it was Jace.

[Jacob]

The boy had, you know, he had just horrible looking feet.

[Martin]

A lot going on.

[Si Robertson]

Good thing a man wasn't known for his feet.

[Martin]

It kind of was.

[Si Robertson]

That's why. That's it.

[Jacob]

Well, he was known for his feet. Okay. But that was just one thing. He was known for.

[Martin]

Praise God.

[Jacob]

He was known for killing. Killing mallard ducks and ugly feet. He was known for sharing Jesus with everybody.

[Martin]

There we go.

[Hunter]

It does make me sharing Jesus.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, the guy killing ducks and bunions and ugly feet. Ugly feet.

[Hunter]

It makes me wonder what Phil would have called himself had he observed, you know, because he's always. He always liked. He always liked to make things.

[Jacob]

That would have been.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

What would feel nickname Phil.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, yeah, that'd be good.

[Hunter]

Hey, what's up there, big toe? Like, I don't know.

[Martin]

I mean, it would have been wild.

[Hunter]

Yeah. Yeah. What's up? I mean, I don't know what he'd have called himself.

[Si Robertson]

It'd be probably some name of some mud grip tires or something.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Oh, he had probably used. What is it, Latin?

[Si Robertson]

Wait, is Spy Kids the movie where the.

[Jacob]

What? Well, what.

[Si Robertson]

Look, listen here, where I'm going, isn't it the movie where there's like thumbs as people like. Is that the one?

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

We're gonna be your guy to confirm, right?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Martin]

We're gonna let the younger generation tune into this.

[Si Robertson]

I pull that up, that could be thumbs. You'll see what I'm talking about.

[Hunter]

All of a sudden, this deal of first grade is making a lot more sense now with that.

[Si Robertson]

I was gonna say this earlier. I was gonna say this earlier. I only went to summer school one year. I guess I. Kool Aid and Moon Pie will make you sit in your desk.

[Martin]

What in the world are you kids watching?

[Si Robertson]

This was my kids. You don't know this movie?

[Jacob]

No.

[Si Robertson]

I feel like you would have watched this, you know? No, you're like 20 when this came out.

[Martin]

Yeah. You love it. No, I wouldn't.

[Hunter]

Yeah, that looks vulgar.

[Si Robertson]

That was the character in the movie. It was like.

[Jacob]

It was like their man.

[Si Robertson]

It was like their minions 3D modeling.

[Hunter]

Wait, time out.

[Jacob]

What are we doing?

[Hunter]

Why did we put a bunch of Vienna sausages with a red shirt on?

[Si Robertson]

Hey, don't forget the toenail.

[Martin]

I'm a disturbed. What year did this movie come?

[Si Robertson]

My kids, I think. Is this the one that Taylor. No, that's Shark Boy and Lava Girl. All right.

[Jacob]

What?

[Martin]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

The same director.

[Si Robertson]

Same director, though.

[Jacob]

How. I'll tell you, Martin, we're old.

[Si Robertson]

This movie did a lot of. It was very big, huh?

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

What did it do in sales or something? It was a big movie.

[Hunter]

Oh, man.

[Si Robertson]

This is a movie. When I grew up driving movies, we did thumb people, you know what I mean?

[Martin]

Don't get back on them.

[Hunter]

Dares watch somebody kill somebody. We just had thumbs walking.

[Si Robertson]

People walking around.

[Martin]

That came out in 2001.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Martin]

So I was 12.

[Si Robertson]

Okay, 12. Okay. I did Too Far.

[Martin]

Oh, but I never saw it.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I was 16. I must have.

[Jacob]

Hold on.

[Martin]

In this movie, really? What are we doing?

[Jacob]

See, I missed a lot when I was growing up.

[Martin]

You were too busy getting dropped off.

[Jacob]

I don't know what I was.

[Hunter]

Hey, buddy.

[Si Robertson]

Busy watching people comb there.

[Hunter]

In 2001, you weren't growing up. You were grown.

[Jacob]

Well, I know, but that was when.

[Si Robertson]

You started your vapor.

[Jacob]

What years are y' all talking about?

[Hunter]

2,000.

[Jacob]

1,001. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Martin]

What did you watch?

[Jacob]

Right.

[Martin]

You didn't have thumb.

[Jacob]

People, whenever you're watching the black and white spice oddity.

[Si Robertson]

2001 is space. Oddity.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Interesting.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's cool. I was back in the old.

[Hunter]

That's a David Bowie song.

[Jacob]

I was back in ancient time.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, It's a movie.

[Martin]

2001 A Space Odyssey.

[Hunter]

Oh, I thought he said oddity.

[Jacob]

I love how I don't know what I said.

[Martin]

Can we just go back to the fact that Hunter was like, oh, yeah, same director on children's movies.

[Si Robertson]

He's like the same age as me. How old are you, Hunter?

[Martin]

25.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, I'm 26.

[Jacob]

Y' all was intensive to worlds I didn't know about.

[Hunter]

And they both grew up south of the Interstate. Yeah, I grew up in Rustin. I grew up in Rustin. Oh, you just come back over here.

[Martin]

I mean, I. South of the interstate.

[Hunter]

Grew up in.

[Martin]

From ages 1 to 3, I was in Bakkenville. And then I was, hey, that's all it takes.

[Si Robertson]

And then, hey, we might have crossed paths.

[Jacob]

He spent a lot of time.

[Si Robertson]

I had silver teeth back then.

[Martin]

Did you go to summer school in first grade?

[Si Robertson]

Well, I went to Clavering, so I. I just.

[Hunter]

Wait, hold on. That's where I went. Yeah.

[Martin]

I played football for the Yellow Jackets. Practiced out by that cemetery.

[Hunter]

We were terrible.

[Martin]

Well, that's why I played for them.

[Si Robertson]

If you hung out on Martin street, like 2002-12, there's a little silver teeth gremlin running around.

[Jacob]

Little silver teeth Gremlin running around.

[Martin]

And for all your teeth were silver.

[Si Robertson]

I mean, the ones that I had. I knocked out all four of my front teeth when I was three, so I didn't have any teeth. About third grade, I was in a high chair, and like I said, I didn't like to sit down. I was just going back and forth. And we were at a restaurant, and I hit my face.

[Martin]

In a restaurant?

[Si Robertson]

In a restaurant?

[Martin]

What restaurant? Please say Captain.

[Si Robertson]

I don't. I don't think it was in town.

[Hunter]

Oh.

[Si Robertson]

But I knocked out all four of my front teeth. And then the. My second tooth to the right, I cut it in half and, like, killed the root in it. So when it grew back, it was like a Dorito chip, so.

[Jacob]

Oh, Dorito chip.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah. People used to be like, you got something on your teeth? And be like, yeah, it's going to be that way for a while.

[Hunter]

You had a grill before? Grills were man.

[Si Robertson]

I had a grill from personal self. I created, I guess, myself.

[Martin]

You know, a lot of people think the Constitution's just for lawyers and politicians.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Martin]

Nope.

[Hunter]

What?

[Martin]

It's for you and me. And if you don't know what's in it, how do you know if you're stepping on someone? Stepping on, stepping on, stepping on.

[Si Robertson]

You don't know where you're stepping.

[Martin]

You don't know where you're stepping. How do you know when someone's stepping on your rights?

[Hunter]

Hey, if you don't know what the Constitution is or what's in it, you won't know. That's why you need to go to Hillsdale College, y'.

[Jacob]

All.

[Martin]

The free, brand new online course called the Federalist.

[Hunter]

There you go.

[Martin]

In the Federalist Papers, Alexander Hamilton and James Madison explain how the Constitution established a government strong enough to secure our rights and safe enough to wield that power. Little thing I like to call checks and balances. And today it's our responsibility to pay attention, to be vigilant, they might say, to preserve and protect Republican self government. Hillsdale online course on The Federalist has 10 lectures, each about 30 minutes long. You can take this course at your own pace and there's no cost to sign up. Plus, Hillsdale offers more than 40 other free online courses, including one on C.S. lewis, the stories in the book of Genesis, the rise and fall of the Roman Republic, or the history of ancient Christian church, all for how Much free, baby.

[Hunter]

Free. Still free.

[Martin]

You need to know this stuff, and it's free. It's right there. You got the time. It's so much better for you than watching some show about how candy's made. You know, learn something and progress your brain. Hey, when God was still here, I think he took every one of. He did. Ancient Christianity. He could tell you more about the fall of the Romans than anybody I know. Which is good, because you don't want to be them Romans. You seen them lately?

[Hunter]

Right now, all you got to do is go. Right now to Hillsdale Eduardo Duck to enroll. There's no cost, and it's easy to get started. That's Hillsdale Edu to enroll for free. Hillsdale Edu slash Duck.

[Martin]

You know, it's well documented. I had a queen size bed, and I get made fun of for that, but I still had to have rails on that because I'd fall out of it. And all that room I was just tossing, turning, moving around, pissing everywhere. Hey, my buddy Reese fell out of a top bunk at Camp Chioka one time. One of the greatest stories of all time. We're all asleep and you just hear thud.

[Jacob]

Thud.

[Martin]

That kid fell about 5 foot from that top bunk. And we all look over and he's like, wakes up, but it hit him so hard, he just started puking.

[Hunter]

Oh, wow.

[Martin]

So then the Counselor's got this 6 year old kid that's just puking, and it's like a machine gun going off. He just goes and holds them out the door.

[Jacob]

Where?

[Hunter]

Yeah, yeah, like a sprinkler.

[Martin]

It's a bad deal. Oh, you didn't want to be Reese that day.

[Si Robertson]

He was never the same.

[Hunter]

Oh, Lord. Yeah, Lawy, baby.

[Martin]

Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I fell out of the bed a lot.

[Si Robertson]

Fell out of the bed?

[Martin]

Yeah. Is that. That's a thing, right?

[Hunter]

No, I don't remember falling.

[Si Robertson]

Should have got you some, like, injuries.

[Martin]

I did. Well, I had to put rails up on.

[Si Robertson]

Should have built a fence.

[Hunter]

I know we've been looking at, like, regular beds for the boys, and they all have. They're all, like, boxed in. Not crib style, but basically they have one entrance and one exit. For now.

[Martin]

We had these big old blue things you had to put under the mattress and raise up so you didn't fall out the bed. Nobody else has.

[Si Robertson]

Do you still do that? They could have just got you a hospital bed.

[Hunter]

Was that a side effect of the nose spray, you think, like, restless sleeping or something or.

[Martin]

This is just how I live my life.

[Jacob]

He's A roamer.

[Martin]

Yeah, I move.

[Jacob]

He's a Roma.

[Martin]

You know, man, I like sitting still. This podcast hard enough. Sit here for 50 minutes.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Martin]

And so I guess when I sleep, I just move a lot.

[Jacob]

God. Had it.

[Martin]

Did Scott fall out of bed?

[Jacob]

No, no, he had. He could sit still.

[Martin]

No, no chance.

[Si Robertson]

I think a lot of people have that.

[Martin]

But he didn't fall out to bed.

[Jacob]

Well, because my wife, you know, falling out the bed was always going up there, arguing with the principal and the teachers.

[Hunter]

Were you asleep when you would fall out of the bed?

[Martin]

Yeah, I wake up on the ground.

[Si Robertson]

That's crazy.

[Hunter]

So what was that like?

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, well, you just.

[Martin]

Well, you got used to it.

[Si Robertson]

Were you scared of going to sleep?

[Martin]

No, I don't remember a time when I didn't happen. Like, I. Well, eventually you put the rails up.

[Jacob]

I don't understand it.

[Si Robertson]

So do you still do that today?

[Martin]

I haven't fallen out to bed in a while. I don't think. I've never been like, bro, she gets.

[Jacob]

That and go to sleep, and the next thing I wake up, I'm on the floor.

[Si Robertson]

You too?

[Jacob]

Well, I'm just talking.

[Hunter]

Well, I've done that before, but it was induced.

[Martin]

I've woke up on just, like, the total opposite end of the bed. Like, my feet were where my. Yeah, my head's supposed to be.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah. That's weird.

[Jacob]

You're a roamer.

[Si Robertson]

Bella's done that.

[Martin]

Yeah, some people just move in their sleep. Like, what if you had a drink?

[Hunter]

Hey, I'm married to one.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, that checks.

[Hunter]

Brittany. Brittany takes up three quarters of a. Of a bed at night because she ends up in, like, the crime scene.

[Si Robertson]

Positions or sleeping diagonals.

[Hunter]

He starts off in a little ball curled up with a pillow, and by the time I wake up, it's hands and feet.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, I'm saying way.

[Si Robertson]

Ooh.

[Jacob]

I totally destroy a sheet cover all that.

[Martin]

If me and Allison go to a hotel and they got two doubles, girl, get your own. Slide over. She's fully supports it. If you want to hang out for a minute, come on over, but then you got to go back to yours.

[Hunter]

Does she make you stay in the one by the door? Because that's what Britney.

[Martin]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Because there's a lot of people that break into hotel rooms and capture you.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do girls think that Bella's the same way?

[Martin]

A lot of Lifetime movies.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Hunter]

And too much time.

[Si Robertson]

Do yalls wives. Can they sleep with the covers over their head? That is like John Luke can. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard of in my life. Bella will pull the covers of her head and go to sleep like that.

[Martin]

That's a family thing. Me and John Luke.

[Si Robertson]

No, that is a problem.

[Jacob]

That's a turtle maneuver.

[Si Robertson]

I don't.

[Hunter]

I can one up you.

[Si Robertson]

My.

[Hunter]

My girlfriend sleeps face first in the pillow.

[Martin]

Whoa.

[Hunter]

She sleeps like this?

[Martin]

Yes.

[Si Robertson]

Face forward.

[Hunter]

I don't get it.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, that's pretty wild.

[Martin]

I don't get how she can breathe. One time, me and John Luke shared a room when we went to Spokane.

[Si Robertson]

All the way.

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah. If I get cold snuggling up.

[Martin]

I woke up like an hour before John Luke. And I looked over and I almost, like, called 911 because he was just underneath. And I was like, hey, bro, get out for your face. And he's like, no, I'm cool. And then he went back under.

[Si Robertson]

No, I'm cool.

[Martin]

And I was like, I don't like this maneuver.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I couldn't do that.

[Si Robertson]

I think the turtle. I think the turtle maneuver is a different maneuver.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Martin]

Ever have gas under there? Then you'd have to come out.

[Jacob]

Hey, I like.

[Si Robertson]

I'm not gonna say that because I'm going to. I'm gonna say anyone that's in undercovers can do what they call that.

[Jacob]

Anyone he's got.

[Si Robertson]

Anyone can be a culprit.

[Jacob]

He's got a garage. He just closes the door.

[Si Robertson]

A garage.

[Hunter]

Box turtle.

[Jacob]

Box turtle. Yeah.

[Hunter]

He did close that front flag.

[Si Robertson]

I was just talking about different type of turtle, and you know what I mean.

[Hunter]

Oh, turtle head.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Hunter]

The. Wow. I know. I'm the exact opposite of all the. I. I barely want a sheet on me when I. Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

I can only.

[Jacob]

Oh, no. In one of the time.

[Si Robertson]

It depends on the weather.

[Jacob]

I like it so heavy. You can't. That you. You have trouble moving.

[Hunter]

You know, they make, like, weighted blankets. You ain't got to do all that.

[Jacob]

Oh, no. But it gets better if it's.

[Si Robertson]

So I put dumbbells around his covers in his bed so he can'.

[Martin]

Stuck him in every.

[Hunter]

You know, this is an awful lot of work for a man that pee six times a night.

[Si Robertson]

How do you get out? How do you get out?

[Jacob]

Oh, I get up, up, up and out.

[Si Robertson]

You gotta pee, you get rejuvenated, you become Hercules, huh?

[Martin]

I did one time in the weighted blanket craze when everybody wanted one. I was like, I'm gonna get Allison one because I'm such a good husband. But I didn't know what weight you should do. Obviously in my head, the heaviest one they have.

[Si Robertson]

What is it? What is it?

[Martin]

Go big or combo?

[Jacob]

I don't know.

[Martin]

But that suck. You go underneath that, all of a sudden you're just like asleep, just stuck. And you're stuck there. When you wake up and you're. You panic for a second, that's when.

[Si Robertson]

You need life alert.

[Jacob]

No, no, there's no air pockets on that. No, because it's so heavy. It. It's form fitting.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, that sounds.

[Jacob]

There's no little spots.

[Martin]

Have you ever had a weighted blanket?

[Jacob]

Huh?

[Martin]

Have you ever had a weighted blanket?

[Jacob]

No, I didn't.

[Martin]

Oh, we're about to change your life. So many on how many blankets is so many?

[Jacob]

Oh, I put quilts on.

[Martin]

How many?

[Si Robertson]

How many?

[Jacob]

All of them.

[Si Robertson]

Three or four.

[Jacob]

Oh yeah, I like it where I just had to slide in and it's so heavy. The side burrito, it's hard to turn over.

[Si Robertson]

Have you ever soiled the first blanket? The closest one to you?

[Jacob]

This?

[Hunter]

Oh, yeah.

[Martin]

Does Christine ever swaddle you?

[Jacob]

Huh? No. You should try that when I get cold.

[Hunter]

I got some things that we have for the boys. Velcro. I could wrap you up like a little.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, what's that thing?

[Hunter]

Like a little papoose?

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, what's that little thing they have for kids? The weighted baby. Oh, yeah, yeah, we need to get you one.

[Jacob]

No, no, I seen that down at the baby shop.

[Si Robertson]

What if we had silent.

[Jacob]

I said, what in the world is this? They said, oh, it's a swaddle.

[Si Robertson]

It's like a weighted snuggie.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I said, what? I said swaddle.

[Hunter]

It's called like dreamland.

[Jacob]

I said, what?

[Hunter]

The boys didn't like it.

[Si Robertson]

I don't know if I thought it's.

[Martin]

Just a wrap gang for 99.99 we can get an adult swaddle. We can wrap.

[Jacob]

Wrap it up and just.

[Martin]

We can wrap sat up like a cocoon. Also, shout out to the model here, cuz I don't think there's enough money you could pay me to be on this website looking like this.

[Si Robertson]

It just looks like a Snuggie.

[Hunter]

Oh, there is.

[Martin]

Well, yeah, there definitely is. I mean, just imagine.

[Jacob]

Got your price.

[Martin]

He's a full grown man with a beard that is swaddled on the Internet.

[Hunter]

He's in a spandex Snuggie.

[Si Robertson]

But you can't see his eyes. You know what I mean?

[Martin]

That's good.

[Hunter]

Plausible.

[Martin]

Actually. That's me, guys. I've been Meaning to tell also.

[Hunter]

What. How do you sleep with a pillow straight up like that. This doesn't.

[Jacob]

Ain'T no good, huh? It ain't nothing worse to go to a hotel and they got five pillows on the bed.

[Hunter]

Oh, yeah, I use all of them.

[Jacob]

No, no. And you gotta pile all five of them and then lay down. Because all you do when you do that, you go all the way to the mattress.

[Martin]

Yeah, that's how it's supposed to.

[Jacob]

Cause there ain't nothing in the pillow.

[Si Robertson]

I'll use zero pillows.

[Jacob]

You talk about pillow, really?

[Martin]

My wife hates my eyes. I like this thin because I've had them since high school.

[Si Robertson]

I don't like a lot of heads. Like putting my head.

[Hunter]

I don't want my head up.

[Si Robertson]

I want to be flat.

[Hunter]

I want to be level.

[Si Robertson]

I want to be flat.

[Hunter]

My head too big to be below.

[Martin]

My shoulders and never get back up.

[Hunter]

You know, I ain't got no neck either. So, like, it's just.

[Si Robertson]

I just realized that. Yeah, you said that. I never noticed that in my whole life.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I don't have a neck back. Like, I ain't no doing weightlifting. Huh?

[Jacob]

Huh? Too much weightlifting?

[Hunter]

No, I just think it's a deformity.

[Si Robertson]

I think it's just genetics.

[Hunter]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just big body. I'm pretty sure just the years of weight of my head. You know what? This is more comfortable. Like, it's just more comfortable. Just. Just get right there where it kind of rests on your.

[Jacob]

Trying to be a turtle, but it wasn't a room.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, having not a long neck's probably a good thing.

[Hunter]

It was a good thing for an offensive lineman. So I'm saying I never got my neck hurt.

[Martin]

Bad thing if you're a giraffe.

[Si Robertson]

Well, think if somebody tried to, like, get your neck, you know, choke you out or break your neck, it'd be hard that. That only got so much space.

[Jacob]

Back is alignment deal anyway.

[Hunter]

Yeah. Is it? I mean, it could be from years. Could be years of repeated abuse of my face going into something and.

[Jacob]

And running back. Short running back. Yeah. No, they just go. I like this. This is our head, shoulders going down, knees and toes.

[Si Robertson]

You know what I mean?

[Martin]

Oh, Martin.

[Hunter]

Yo, bud.

[Martin]

Do you ever track your sleep score?

[Hunter]

I don't.

[Martin]

Mine is not great. It is all over the place. You know me, I wallow around and all that stuff. And AG1 has been a big part of my morning routine for years. But this fall, I'm adding a little AG1 to my nighttime routine. With AGZ. AGZ is a nightly drink to help you wind down and rest up. It's melatonin free and made with clinically studied herbs, adaptogens and and minerals. Look, if you're not getting enough sleep, you ain't going to be able to perform the way you want to perform. Just ask Psy. That's why I got a nap every day 24 and a half years.

[Hunter]

Better. Was you better?

[Martin]

You got to get a good night's sleep. AG1 helps with optimizing your sleep quality. It puts you in the wind down mindset and helps you wake up without feeling groggy so you can make the most of your day. Look, been on this for a little bit. I. I'm sleeping like a baby. I feel like I'm swaddled up ready to go. My sleep score on my Fitbit is skyrocketing. Look, they got chocolate, chocolate, mint or mixed berry flavors, little cold milk, little agz. You're ready to go. What's also great is there's no artificial flavors, artificial sweeteners or added sugar. Instead you've got research supported ingredients like saffron and highly bioavailable magnesium that support your body's need to calm and ease into a natural sleep. It helps you relax and de stress so you sleep better.

[Hunter]

Praise the Lord for that.

[Martin]

Hey, that's a great addition to your nighttime routine. If you're ready to turn down the stress and focus on the rest, head to drink ag1.com to get a free frother with your first purchase of AGZ. That's drinkag1.com duck. Would you rather be 5 foot tall or 7 foot tall?

[Si Robertson]

Ooh, that's a good question.

[Jacob]

I'm in between. I don't want to be. I don't want to be.

[Si Robertson]

It's one of those.

[Jacob]

Hey, I don't hold up one of them.

[Martin]

You have to pick.

[Si Robertson]

You have to pick.

[Jacob]

Well, I'd be seven foot tall.

[Si Robertson]

I knew it.

[Martin]

But then you had to duck everywhere you go. You could never go to Asia.

[Jacob]

Oh, I'm thinking about when you get in a fight. I'll have further to fight.

[Si Robertson]

How many seven foot people have you ever seen in a fight?

[Jacob]

In a fight?

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Oh, I've seen them all the time in the.

[Si Robertson]

Oh my gosh.

[Jacob]

They fight every time they get on the court. Play basketball.

[Si Robertson]

That so you in city Brother B.

[Jacob]

Hates 6, 8 and weigh 400 pounds or 6, 8 and weigh 180 pounds.

[Si Robertson]

Well, I would love to see what you look like at 6. What'd you say again? Both are 68140 pounds.

[Jacob]

Yeah. 180 pounds.

[Si Robertson]

180 pounds.

[Jacob]

I'll weigh 450 like Shaq did.

[Martin]

Shaq didn't weigh no 4.

[Jacob]

He did, too. He was like 6 8, weighed 450 pounds. And then when he got in on the basket, he would knock the guy out of the way, dump the ball, and Everybody would.

[Si Robertson]

At 450.

[Jacob]

Oh, he's so great.

[Martin]

Is it? Are you?

[Jacob]

Knock everybody away. You ain't great. Jack would have fouled out the first three minutes of the game. Father the referee.

[Si Robertson]

So sigh hates Shaq.

[Martin]

Shaq Sigh has a lot of slander towards Shaquille o' Neal on this podcast.

[Jacob]

I mean, hey, he wasn't as great as everybody's claimed him to be.

[Si Robertson]

That's right. Tom Brady sucks.

[Martin]

I'm not going to stand for any more Shaquille o' Neal slander.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah, he was good. What do you mean?

[Martin]

I'd like to see Shaq.

[Si Robertson]

Hey, can we just look up Shaquille O' Neal's height and weight, please?

[Martin]

I want to 713-24.

[Si Robertson]

Okay.

[Jacob]

Okay. I was close.

[Si Robertson]

Same thing.

[Jacob]

Hey, I was close.

[Si Robertson]

4 inches and 125 pounds.

[Jacob]

But they never did call the foul on it.

[Martin]

That's because they were scared he was going to beat him up.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Well, hey, good new referee.

[Si Robertson]

You're the size of gum.

[Jacob]

Gum.

[Si Robertson]

Give me gum. Gum.

[Hunter]

That's back when basketball was Basketball.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

No, that was when basketball was just a fight.

[Hunter]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Martin]

Yeah, back when it was way more.

[Hunter]

Entertaining than the shooting contest it is now. I think his real skill is in the commentary now, though. Him and Charles Barkley together is the team we needed.

[Si Robertson]

He's funny, both of them.

[Jacob]

Hey, Charles.

[Hunter]

You know, I love when Charles gets Shaq tickled. That's one of my favorite things.

[Jacob]

No, no, I get. I love Charles Walker.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I would do anything like.

[Si Robertson]

It is Charles Barkley might be close to 400.

[Jacob]

I've.

[Martin]

Me and Willie were at a charity golf tournament, and Charles Barkley played behind us, and it was one of the funniest days. He is the largest human being I.

[Jacob]

Think I've ever met that he's a man.

[Martin]

He was huge. And he booed Willie whenever they introduced him, and I laughed so hard.

[Jacob]

That's Charles Mar.

[Martin]

They were, like, up next to the te. And all of a sudden I hear boo. I was like, who's booing?

[Jacob]

Oh, hey, yeah. Oh, that's Charles Mockley.

[Hunter]

That's my. That's my friend Charles.

[Si Robertson]

I said with Charles.

[Jacob]

He's in the same league as. What's the guy on.

[Martin]

Yeah, her street's dog.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, I'm looking.

[Si Robertson]

Do you hate?

[Martin]

I just hate his dog.

[Si Robertson]

Is his dog still alive?

[Martin]

We got a new one.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, he's got a new arm.

[Martin]

Did you say lots of teeth? You couldn't just go with Family Feud?

[Hunter]

Well, he went right here.

[Jacob]

I figured he was thinking Family Feud.

[Martin]

Yeah, I watch Family Feud every day at 4:30.

[Jacob]

But Barkley, Barkley and and Steve have got a lot of stuff in common.

[Martin]

Slow time of year.

[Si Robertson]

Jacob.

[Jacob]

I Harvey's gonna tell it like it is. They had a bunch. What he had. They dressed up as women.

[Hunter]

Drag queen.

[Jacob]

Drag queen.

[Si Robertson]

Oh, yeah.

[Martin]

Oh, when Chris Farley was a Chippendale.

[Jacob]

He had a bunch of them on Family Feuds the other night. And you talk about got.

[Si Robertson]

Wow, you like watching drag.

[Jacob]

That was the funniest thing to watch because every time Steve Harvard would say something, one of them would say something else. That's generally how cop is on and on.

[Si Robertson]

And so are you saying that Steve.

[Jacob]

Harvey was gonna do the looks? He does. Oh, yeah.

[Hunter]

I'm need you find that bible.

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Hunter]

Are you saying I'm desperately needing an.

[Martin]

Escape, but I don't know how Family Feud drag queens got us here.

[Si Robertson]

You're saying that you enjoyed a drag queen Family Feud episode?

[Jacob]

Oh, it was. It was hilarious.

[Si Robertson]

This is very interesting.

[Jacob]

Okay, probably Harvey trying to. And they're all of them really ganged.

[Hunter]

Up on Steve that what's the price tag to dress you up like a drag queen?

[Si Robertson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Si Robertson]

What's the price?

[Hunter]

Does that take?

[Si Robertson]

Is it less?

[Hunter]

How much does that take?

[Si Robertson]

Is it more or less than 150,000?

[Jacob]

Okay, definitely less. Heroes.

[Si Robertson]

No, you're capping.

[Hunter]

You're wrong.

[Si Robertson]

You're fibbing.

[Martin]

You wore a boa on Duck Dynasty and they didn't pay a billion.

[Hunter]

Yeah, you slide in here with TNGs and throw them on that table. My man said, where's makeup?

[Martin]

He said, where's hair? Call me Tiffany, my man.

[Hunter]

Say, where's hair and makeup?

[Si Robertson]

Give me some vapor rub real quick.

[Jacob]

What's right? I'm always at him.

[Hunter]

Yeah. I said I can't be bought, but I can. Dang sure.

[Martin]

I need you to reach out to Family Feud and get this podcast on. On Family Feud.

[Jacob]

Oh, that'd be. Wow.

[Martin]

You and the lead.

[Jacob]

I would not be good.

[Martin]

Well, we'll probably put you at the kind of games.

[Jacob]

I would not be good. Oh, so yeah, I would be hilarious. Okay. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't be hilarious.

[Martin]

I like a man who knows his strengths.

[Si Robertson]

That's right.

[Martin]

I would suck at Family Feud, but I would be hilarious.

[Jacob]

Oh, no. Yeah. Hey, because, hey, man's got to know his limitations.

[Hunter]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I mean, I'm not good at games. Games. Okay.

[Si Robertson]

You're good at imagination. I'm good at wit and imagination.

[Jacob]

That's right. Hey. Oh, man. And I can. I can.

[Hunter]

Go ahead.

[Martin]

I'm waiting.

[Hunter]

Yeah, that's why you couldn't be.

[Jacob]

Okay. I don't work good under pressure.

[Hunter]

We just got the big X. All right, let's get out of here.

[Martin]

We lose. Hey, look, this. This girl came up to me and said, hey, I just got something to tell you. She felt like she needed to. She stumbled upon something from the Lord she felt like, and she didn't know. And that Duck Commander Sunday, she said, I think it's for you. And I said, okay. And she gave me a Bible verse, and I was like, all right, which one? Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. She said, hosea. I said, all right, now I'm listening, because that's. That's from somewhere. I don't think a lot of people just hang out there, but. Hosea six one three. Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces, but he will heal us. He has injured us, but he will bind up our wounds. After two days, he will revive us. On the third day, he will restore us that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the Lord. Let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear. He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth. That's a good one. And I met a lot of people on Duck Commander Sunday who, like, I. I think I was just out in the crowd a lot, so they told me so I could tell Sai, Martin and all these guys that they've been going through some stuff, and I even saw this guy praying over one of them, which was really cool. But they basically said this podcast just keeps them company, and Unashamed is going to keep doing what they're doing, and we're going to keep being weird and talking about weird stuff and trying to just be. Show you the joy of the Lord. So I feel like that's our job, and I appreciate all the people that reached out and said that. And that girl, that Bible verse, I was like, that's kind of a banger.

[Hunter]

And I'm mildly concerned with how many nickel nips are about to show up. Here.

[Martin]

Do not swallow them.

[Hunter]

S All right. We'll see y' all next time. Right here.

[Jacob]

Throw the whole thing in your mouth. And wouldn't it. What's the flavor?