Uncle Si & Godwin Compare First Dates — We’re Not the Same

Summary

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Duck Call Room Podcast: "Uncle Si’s Grizzly Bear Survival Plan Is Totally Unhinged"

Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: Si Robertson, Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo
Episode Theme:
A hilarious and rambling conversation in the Duck Call Room, where the boys cover everything from memorable hunting adventures and Olympic oddities to unfiltered advice on surviving a grizzly bear encounter, family stories, and the chaos of raising grandbabies. The episode delivers the blend of southern wisdom, tall tales, and banter fans know and love—punctuated by Si’s absolutely unhinged (and totally suspect) bear survival strategies.

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1. Weekend Recap & Hunting Adventures

• Arkansas Veterans & Kids Hunting Day:

  • Si shares a memorable hunt with six veterans and four kids: “We killed 46 total.” (01:11)
  • Praise for Arkansas and Louisiana for extending special hunting days: “Thank you to the great state of Arkansas for doing that for our veterans and for our children.” (00:47)
  • Discussion of scenic cypress breaks and the pleasures of untamed nature.

• Funny First Date Stories:

  • The gang swaps tales of taking their significant others hunting on first dates, from squirrel hunts to Chili’s nostalgia.
  • Si: “When I was shooting at the squirrel, she was on my back. Kill him, kill him, kill him… and after you failed, she said, 'You killed that poor little squirrel.'” (03:51)

• Changing Seasons & Surviving the Cold Snap:

  • Weather whiplash: Recounting the recent “ice-NATO” and appreciating shorts weather in Louisiana, with some ribbing for friends stuck up north.

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2. Olympic Oddities & Small Town Takes

• Winter Olympics Fascination:

  • The crew laughs about how foreign winter sports seem—crazy speeds on skis, wild figure skating “on butter knives,” and the insanity of luge runs.
  • John: “They're going 90 miles an hour on a pair of skis.” (07:39)
  • Joke about needing ten-foot skis instead of seven-foot.

• Jamaican Bobsled Dreams:

  • Full-hearted support for both Team USA and the Jamaican bobsledders: “I'm generally a Team USA homer, but go Jamaica on the bobsled. I want a Cool Runnings 2!” (10:08)
  • Movie discussion and John Candy/X references.

• Super Bowl Recap & Commercials:

  • Briefly touch on Seattle Seahawks’ win.
  • Talk about the changing appeal of Super Bowl commercials and the difficulties of actually catching them with little kids around.

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3. Family Life & Parenting Antics

• Parenting the Robertson Way:

  • Si and the crew swap grandkid updates, confusion between identical twins (“...she said, did you switch with me? I thought you could tell them apart!” (38:03)), and confessions about diaper duty.

• Childhood “Bath Time” Wars:

  • Justin: “Bath time could go so much quicker if we just take a shower, but they're trying to hang out. That's the last stop before bed.” (41:03)
  • The lure of Hot Wheels and Monster Trucks as motivators for chores.

• Unfiltered Discussion: Baby Poop Facts

  • Si dispenses legendary wisdom on the difference between breastfed and formula-fed baby diapers.
  • “My tracer, she breastfed... then she switched to formula—good creepy, there was a big difference when they pooped!” (39:49)

• Advice on Cleanliness:

  • Jay Stone brags about getting early morning coffee for his wife, Paula.
  • The wonders of getting all three kids old enough to shower themselves.

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4. Unhinged Grizzly Bear Survival Strategies

The Heart (and Comic Core) of the Episode:

[23:13 – 36:30]

• Wolves vs. Bears Debate:

  • General agreement that wolves—because they hunt in packs—are scarier than a lone bear:
    • Justin: “One on one or one versus ten? I'm not going to win the one on one, but I feel like I may have a chance. But me vs 10, I'm out.” (31:26)

• Grizzly Bear Survival Advice (Or Lack Thereof):

  • The gang mockingly reviews official advice:
    • “If a grizzly bear approaches, stay calm. Well, that—come on...” (23:47)
    • “I got to speak in a low calm voice and wave my arms to identify myself as human. Like that bear gives a…” (24:15)
    • “If it attacks you, play dead… only fight back if the attack persists. So now...now you’re whooped, then you can fight back.” (25:00)

• Uncle Si's Survival Plan – Satire or Survival?

  • Si: "I made a rule a long time ago. I don't hunt anything that hunts me back." (27:34)
  • “I'm certain of the resurrection…that ain't the way I want to meet him.” (28:24)
  • Three-bear rule, courtesy of John-David:
    • “If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lay down. If it’s white—good night.” (28:44)
  • Joking about being “straight out of luck” with polar bears:
    • “If somebody tells you I got ate by a polar bear, the first question you need to ask is: how did he end up in the Arctic Circle?” (29:10)
  • General consensus: run, yell, spray bear spray, but ultimately, “I will be going down in a blaze of glory.” (35:54)

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5. From Home Repairs to Tree Climbing Schemes

• Tackling Downed Limbs:
  • Hilarious brainstorming on how to remove a dangerous, high-hanging limb after the ice storm—suggestions include shotguns, casting fishing lines with weights, and eventually a bow and arrow.
    • “I took, I had, I took. I only had 14 pound test, but I was gonna bring it back… that weight went down and then I saw it go around that limb probably eight times. Well, that ain’t coming back.” (49:12)
  • The gang conclude that sometimes the “professionals with the bucket trucks” just make more sense.

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6. Life in Alaska (Listener Email)

• Reader Email Segment [52:09+]
  • Kelsey from Alaska sends hunting photos and asks if the guys have ever hunted there.
  • The crew admires her trophy photos, awed by the giant moose: “To me, it's a giant.” (52:38)
  • Discussion turns to unusual meats—moose, caribou, even bear.
    • Si: “I wouldn't eat bear. I mean, I would if I had to, but if I started that, me and them are tight.” (54:02)
    • “They say mountain lion’s great... but I ain't ever.” (54:48)
• Reflections on the Dangers of Northern Wildlife:
  • Jokes about the mountain lions and being watched by wild animals on the way to deer stands:
    • “Remember that in the bow range, we got up there 7J? Yeah. I'm out. Man, you're living in a backyard of big cats.” (55:47)

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7. Notable/Memorable Quotes & Moments

Hunting & Family

• “All you boys that got a woman, you do what she wants in the summer, and you get to do what you want all winter. Unless she does it with you, then you got it made.” (02:43, Godwin)

Life Lessons & Bear Survival

• “I don't hunt anything hunts me back. As a bear’ll hunt you back.” (27:34, Si)
• “If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lay down. If it’s white—good night.” (28:44, John-David)
• “I just as soon remove that one from his repertoire...I just stay out of that chapter on bears.” (28:28, Justin)

Grandkids & Parenting

• “My tracer, she breastfed now. Then when she switched to formula—good creepy, no, there was a big difference when they pooped.” (39:49, Si)

On Parenting Young Kids

• “Bath time could go so much quicker if we just take a shower, but they're trying to hang out...” (41:03, Justin)

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8. Episode Flow & Tone

• Language: Fun, southern, and easygoing; lots of humor, self-deprecation, and affectionate ribbing.
• Atmosphere: Feels like hanging out in the Duck Call Room—stories jump from subject to subject, with hilarious interruptions and honest, often self-mocking life advice.

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9. Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start Time | Notable Moments | |--------------------------|-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | Arkansas Hunt Recap | 00:36 | Si's Veteran's Day hunt, tall tales | | Winter Olympics Chat | 06:22 | Reactions to downhill skiing, figure skating, luge, Cool Runnings | | Grizzly Survival Advice | 23:13 | Three-bear rule, "stand your ground," Si's 'play dead' arguments | | More Bear/Wolf Talk | 31:10 | Wolves vs. Grizzlies, air horn debate | | Alaska Email Segment | 52:09 | Moose/caribou/bear eating, hunting in Alaska | | Grandkid Stories | 37:04 | Si's twin grandbabies, diaper wisdom, Hot Wheels | | Dangerous Limb Dilemma | 48:06 | Fishing line, shotguns, tree saddle jokes |

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In summary:
This episode is peak Duck Call Room: an unapologetically rambling, wide-ranging, and laugh-packed conversation where hunting stories lead to Olympic oddities, which in turn lead to hilarious bear survival “tips” (most not to be trusted), then on to family life, snow days, and the realities of country living. Si’s signature blend of common sense and absurdity anchors the show, and fans will leave both entertained and absolutely certain that they don’t want to test Uncle Si’s bear strategies in the wild.

Closing Word:
“I just as soon remove that one from his repertoire of book writings on the Book of Life. I just stay out of that chapter on bears.” (28:28, Justin Martin)

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. We are back. Sigh. You had yourself a weekend, huh?

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It was Veterans Hunting Day, which is.

[B]

Arkansas, which is awesome. Thank you to the state of Arkansas for providing a weekend for the vets. For the vets and for the kids because they tie those in together this year, what Arkansas was after the season. Louisiana's was before this year. So there was even more days. If you were close, you could have got into into all of it. So no. Thank you to the great state of Arkansas for doing that for our veterans and for our children. That's a.

[C]

It was six veterans that hunted and then it was four kids and we killed 46 total.

[B]

Hey, that's a good hunt.

[C]

So it's a very good hunt. But that cypress break was really beautiful.

[B]

Yeah, man, there's still some really cool, untouched parts of the world.

[D]

Yeah, there's your spot right there. Ain't no cypress tree, but there's some pine straw.

[B]

Yeah, well, I don't know. Probably a lot less pine straw now after the ice NATO got done.

[E]

Oh, it's fine. It's just right. I went and checked.

[B]

Everything's good. Oh, man, it is night. Golly. For all y' all stuck up north that I know are still dealing with this polar vortex. I hate to tell you, but it's been 70 degrees like the last three days down here. Praise God, I'm back.

[D]

In short.

[E]

Oh, yeah, I'm wearing short legged britches today.

[B]

You got shoes on. Oh, he does have shoes on. Look at that Galvan turning on a new leaf.

[D]

You got regulations.

[E]

Well, I just ain't took them.

[B]

Well, regulations is stretched. They ain't got laces. They do slip on stuff.

[E]

Oh, yeah, they're quick to kick off and get out of the way like.

[D]

They'Re boat shoes of some sort.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they look like hey dudes or something. Yeah. Hey, dude, look at there.

[D]

Oh, slipping them on and off.

[E]

Yeah, it's about time to go get these toenails worked on.

[B]

Oh, pedicure time for Goblin.

[D]

That was still weird for me.

[E]

Is it?

[D]

I didn't Enjoy it.

[E]

Well, my woman enjoys it, so that's something we do together.

[D]

Well, I get that, but then you took us that long.

[C]

Enjoy going shop.

[E]

All you boys has got a woman. You do what she wants in the summer, and you get to do what you want all winter. Unless she does it with you. Then you got it made.

[C]

Then you got the best of us. Both worlds.

[E]

Like, we talking about first dates. You know what my first date with Paula was?

[B]

Bull riding?

[E]

Squirrel hunt.

[B]

Oh, squirrel hunt. Okay.

[D]

We went to Chili's.

[E]

We went to the woods. She kept saying, how do you see all them squirrels?

[B]

That's back when Chili's was good, though.

[D]

I hear they're making a comeback.

[B]

Are they? I have.

[D]

Well, I went to Chili's, like, probably four months ago. Yeah, me and the fam, we're like, table for five, please. And they're like, it's a 45 minute wait. And I was looking around, I saw like seven or eight empty tables, and I was like, see you later.

[B]

Oh, that's just because I didn't have nobody working.

[D]

Well, I think that everybody just orders food on the Internet now and it goes to their house. So the kitchen's backed up that far. And I was like, player, I'm. I ain't waiting for Chili's.

[C]

That was reminding me about my first date with my girlfriend when I was in high school. We were squirrel hunting.

[E]

That's what I'm talking about right there.

[C]

Look, when I was shooting at the squirrel, she was on my back. Kill him, kill him, kill him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And after you failed, she looked at him, she said, you killed that poor little squirrel. I said, yeah, and you beat me half to death while I was trying to do it.

[B]

Paula do that, too?

[E]

No, no.

[D]

How many times did you shoot at that poor squirrel?

[C]

Oh, about three or four. Well, she too.

[D]

That girl was Trauma 22.

[C]

And he was running. Oh, he was running upside tree. Cat.

[E]

You had squirrel and dumplings.

[C]

I shot him like, three times. Yo, I hit him twice.

[B]

You out of three ain't bad.

[C]

Two out of three. Two out of three ain't bad, baby.

[D]

I.

[C]

You've done a song about J.D.

[E]

I did. What song do I have? Three ain't bad. There you go.

[B]

They can't license that.

[D]

I don't think I recognize that one.

[B]

You don't know that meatloaf song?

[D]

Meatloaf? The Anything but Love guy, huh? I'm more of a meatloaf the food kind of guy. Why is meatloaf so good?

[B]

Oh, same reason them sausage balls I made for the super bowl were so good. I guess. I don't know, you put everything in a little nice neat compartment and it just. Oh, yeah, it works, man.

[C]

Well, I can have protein since I didn't get to watch it.

[B]

The Super Bowl. Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks.

[D]

I was about to say congratulations to Sigh. You didn't have to watch any.

[C]

I chose the wrong team. I thought. I thought Drake would. The quarterback of Patriots would be trying. Both teams played hard.

[B]

In the words of your Brother, I believe Mr. May still a little wet behind the ears.

[C]

Little wet behind the ears.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, I think he's still.

[C]

Just still in the rookie stage and.

[D]

He got the soup kicked out.

[E]

He was him. It was like caulk. He was trying to put it in the cracks and crevices and it's a little tight.

[B]

Yeah. So. But congratulations to Seattle, man.

[D]

All two of you that listen to us up there in Seattle.

[B]

Yeah, we probably don't have a very big home basement. Maybe some of y' all moved out of there and listened to us. So if you're.

[D]

Got a few, if you're a member.

[B]

Of what they call them, if you're a member of the 12, then congratulations.

[E]

I've been to Seattle.

[B]

Have you chunk of fish?

[E]

No, I didn't.

[B]

You didn't go to that fish market? Yeah, I saw Willie go there one time. He chunk fish around.

[D]

I've never been to Seattle.

[B]

The most entertaining thing last night was.

[E]

The recap of the Olympic fish and catch fish. But I don't chunk them.

[B]

You don't chunk?

[E]

I chunk them in Lake Crisco, mostly.

[B]

Well, you can't do that now.

[C]

Like Crisco.

[D]

Did you just call it Lake Crisco? I enjoy that.

[B]

Yeah. But now the, The. The. The Olympics, man. Winter Olympics. I figured. Are you keeping up with it, being a USA guy? Are you?

[D]

I dabble.

[C]

He dabbles.

[D]

I don't. I'm a big Summer Olympics guy. The Winter Olympics. Can't even understand it. Kind of like both of those halftime shows. No, I don't even understand some of the things that they're doing because I'm. I mean, I'm West Monroe born and bred. So, like, when they're doing things.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It just. I can't even fathom it.

[B]

But that's why I find it so fascinating because we're not around it. So like when Lindsey Vonn took that big.

[E]

I did not say that. I gotta see it.

[B]

It looked like a NASCAR wreck, man. But like. But like a one car one. I mean, it was human being and skis it was a human being in skis who left there via helicopter.

[D]

They're going 90 miles an hour.

[E]

The man worded this morning when I.

[B]

Watched, they were not.

[D]

These people are going 90 miles an hour in skis and then they hit a little jump and they go 60 yards. Yeah, I don't even go 90 in my car.

[B]

They showed like the length of that deal and I was like, wow, they're skiing a long ways. Then I realized in a minute and a half it's over.

[D]

Yeah, that's downhill.

[C]

Don't wait, wait now. I mean, they're going 90 miles an hour on a pair of skis.

[D]

Snow skis.

[B]

Yeah, on seven foot skis, I think is what they said last night, which I had no idea them things were 7 foot long, but not long enough. You need 10 footers if you go.

[E]

Just doing it on one ski.

[B]

Oh, man, I do find that. I find that stuff fascinating. Just because we don't. I mean that's not around us at all. Like that stuff is so.

[C]

That's insane.

[B]

Yeah, well, like it'll go that fast.

[C]

On a stupid piece of board.

[B]

And that boy that did all them quadruple whatevers last night on them figure skates on an 8th inch piece of metal and land it without breaking something.

[D]

That sucker did a backflip.

[B]

That was. Yeah.

[C]

On a knife.

[B]

On two knives.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean he's out there on a butter knife just letting her eat, doing backflips.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It was incredible. Now he need to work on his wardrobe.

[D]

But yeah, he looked like he about to storm Cinderella's castle.

[C]

Yeah, like roller skate is. Is a hard thing to do.

[D]

That's not why you talk about doing.

[C]

It on two knife blades.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. Incredible ass is a lot.

[C]

I want to. I wonder how fast they go.

[E]

You don't have to use as much effort to go fast then figure skaters.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know how fast they go, but I'm sure speed skating is coming.

[D]

Which I also find speed skating is fun to watch.

[B]

It's fun to watch that stuff. Man, all that stuff is really cool to me. Like, I find it even more interesting than the summer stuff just because I don't know nothing about it. So now that.

[D]

Yeah, but I can go like whenever they're like, hey, I just ran a 9.800. I can go run like a 19 second hundred. And I'm like, man, they're twice as fast as me. This I don't even know how to get started now.

[B]

Yeah, they're just.

[D]

I wouldn't Even put skis on because it's too steep.

[B]

Well, it makes you want to watch Cool Runnings, right? Great.

[D]

One of the great. It's like Rocky on ice. It's a Jamaica on the DVD cover.

[B]

It's the Jamaican bobsled team. Does Jamaica have a bobsled team?

[D]

Yes, they do.

[E]

I watched that lunge last night.

[B]

The lunge, lose, whatever. Yeah. The luge. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

I don't know how they steer that thing with that big old blade sticking up. They.

[B]

Man, that's the. All that stuff to me is crazy. It's. It's wild how good they are and how fast they go. Yeah.

[D]

Jamaica is back. Jamaica. Jamaica's back on the bobsled.

[B]

Yes. If you're that fast, go Jamaica.

[D]

Because Jamaica, you know, every time it's. The Summer Olympics are like, all right.

[E]

We'Re running the 100 yard Jamaica.

[D]

There's three Jamaicans, and the other three that didn't make it would beat all y', all, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So let's just push a sled together and see what happens.

[B]

Yeah. No, I'm in, man. I'm. I. I'm generally a team USA homer in general, but go Jamaica on the bobsled, because I want another. I want a sequel. I feel like Cool Runnings, too, would be really good.

[E]

How do they train?

[D]

According to the movie, they got a backyard derby cart and went down hills.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know how true that movie is.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Have you seen it?

[B]

Wasn't John Candy the coach? Yeah.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And he put weights.

[E]

Maybe I need to pick another movie now.

[B]

Cool Runnings.

[D]

Cool Runnings is one of the greatest movies of all time.

[B]

It is a great movie. You will be thoroughly entertained.

[D]

Hey, Sona, you dead man? No, man.

[B]

No, man.

[D]

But I have to finish the race. I don't do a good Jamaican impression.

[B]

You know, sometimes you take a bite of something and you're like, okay, this is legit. That is what happened when I took the first bite of that trails beef. Man, that trails beef is so good. It is prime and upper choice beef from American cowboys and ranchers. And you will taste the difference the first time you cook it. Their steaks are aged to perfection and rival any steak you'd get at a steakhouse. Plus, they just look the part, right? Like, I remember when I opened the box, even before we even tasted it, I looked at it and saw the marbling, and I said, okay. They say don't judge a book by its cover, but when it comes to steak, you can. I can assure you that it looks so good. It was so good. Christine even ate it, didn't she? Sigh yeah. Oh yeah. Quickly, John, do you got any of the trouts left after ice apocalypse?

[D]

I got a little bit left. I'd tell you the best thing though. My dad cut up them sirloins real them soued it made it into philly cheese stacks.

[B]

What y'?

[C]

All.

[D]

It was good.

[B]

Well, you know what I love? I love that trails is a family business. It's a fifth generation family ranch in the same family is still responsible for every box of meat they ship to your family. We love that militaries, veterans and first responders get a discount. Trails beef is the real deal. So go to tribbeef.com to learn more or order your first tryls box straight from their ranch to your door. That's T-R-Y-Beef.com duck and you'll even get 10% off your first order. And they're throwing in some free meat for you. Go check. Check it out. That's t r y beef dot com. Click below to learn more or order your first trys box straight from their ranch to your door. You'll even get 10% off your first order. Just click below and start feeding your legacy. What is team USA doing? What are we doing in that. That stuff?

[E]

We got a hockey team in there.

[D]

Our hockey team's in there.

[B]

We don't have a medal count yet. Like are we?

[D]

I'm sure we do. No, we won the.

[E]

The.

[B]

We won the team gold. I know that figure skate but I ain't into and we won gold in women's downhill because that. What was that? Yeah, that girl's name.

[E]

I can't remember.

[B]

Breezy, I think is what they called her.

[D]

Cool name.

[E]

That's because she's fast.

[B]

That's because she's fast.

[D]

The United States currently is a couple golds. We're behind Norway and Switzerland which makes a lot of sense to me.

[B]

Yeah, that should happen. No way.

[E]

That's where Paula's descent from. Norway.

[B]

She's Norwegian.

[E]

She's a viking.

[B]

So can Paula ski?

[E]

No. Let me tell you, we did go skiing before.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Do not get on a ski lift with her.

[B]

Why?

[E]

Getting on. All right. It's getting off because she's fitting to go like that and take you out at the knees every time and then blame me.

[D]

When did you go?

[E]

When did I go?

[D]

Yeah. When was that?

[E]

Long been a few years. Yeah, I had used to go about every year.

[D]

I went skiing in the fourth grade and crash and I'm Cool now I've experienced it. It hurt.

[E]

Oh, yeah. I went down last time I went. I was doing the black slope.

[D]

We can't show this on you on our YouTube channel. Clearly, NBC Sports owns what I'm showing Cy right now. Okay, but sigh. Can you imagine is that being on top of a mountain and your job is to go two miles in a minute and a half and she has a torn ACL right now.

[E]

Yeah, she said, but if I had a knee brace, I'd be all right.

[D]

And then she starts going. She's going about 60 right here. And now there's that turn where we're at the 12 second mark. Not good.

[B]

Yeah. She ended up. What? With a broken leg? Yeah, that. All that happened was a broke leg.

[C]

I mean, I'm too fast.

[B]

Hear me Lindsey von fans. I'm not trying to minimize breaking your leg as a guy who broke his leg when he was seven years old. Two little pieces of wood slivers with a torn acl.

[C]

Yeah, no, thank you.

[D]

She was at an Under Armour event one time.

[B]

Yeah, she was at Armor. She was at Armor Day. When I was there, I was rooting for.

[C]

What I'm thinking about right now is row with my uncle on a small cycle. The back, he's running 100.

[B]

No, no, but imagine 100 wheels downhill.

[C]

Put it on two pieces of board.

[B]

Yeah, but going downhill.

[C]

Yeah, and going downhill all the way.

[B]

Gravity just pulling.

[E]

We're in the frame.

[C]

Nope, I'm not that I ski down the.

[B]

Maybe more exciting than Dayton.

[E]

I went down to black slopes last time I went black.

[B]

Is that hard? I don't know the difference.

[E]

On my butt.

[C]

It would be to me because there ain't all this noise.

[B]

What do you mean?

[C]

Just look. And she's coming down the mountain and just.

[E]

Gone there. I tell you, them kids, they okay. Be coming from the top of the mountain, straight down. No pole. They won't let them use poles when they're learning. Just.

[B]

Looking like.

[E]

No fear.

[B]

Looking like Chevy Chase and all you.

[C]

Hear is a swish.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

She goes back.

[E]

And then they throw snow all over you.

[B]

No, the incredible thing is how fast they stop at the end of that.

[C]

Oh, no. That's what downhill. Because when you said that I was doing it. I remember seeing it, watching it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They turn sideways and do them this way.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

And then just finally stopped.

[E]

They hadn't plowed the green slope right there at the last. That's why I had to scoot my butt down black slope and get back to the lodge.

[C]

Then there's some of them that do it for recreation in the mountains.

[E]

Too many holes.

[C]

Yeah. Well, they're jumping off of top of mountains.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Coming down the mountains and I mean, they come off of some mountains that fall forever, then hit it in the soft snow. Yeah.

[E]

A helicopter. Get a helicopter to take them up on top, drop them off.

[C]

Yeah. And they drop them off and then they bounce from hill to hill. Coming down.

[D]

I can't even walk up stairs at that altitude.

[E]

I was going down a green slope, going down a road. Just real easy down the road. That's what green slope's mainly roads. And they'd come over top of me. I said.

[B]

He jumped over you?

[E]

Yeah, he was cutting through the woods.

[B]

And you know.

[E]

He come going on down.

[B]

Boy. So good thing you find out what.

[C]

They do for recognition.

[E]

Oh, he wouldn't have touched you. He was up there.

[C]

Really all it is is parachuting without a parachute.

[E]

That's what it is.

[D]

That one guy did that.

[C]

Travis was trying to land them.

[E]

They jumped out of helicopter on top.

[C]

Of parachute and then fly away. And then they come down the mountain. Okay. And free fall. And I. Oh, I don't know how far.

[B]

Yeah. Why?

[C]

Just snow.

[B]

Why?

[E]

I got the New Year's. New Year's, the Eve night. I got to come down the mountain holding two flares. It was. I don't know how many of us. It was like a big snake.

[C]

Yeah. In Switzerland, they got a nice snow plowing from the top of the mountain. And all they holding. They holding torches.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because they're doing it at night.

[E]

It looked cool. Paula took a picture of it.

[C]

Oh, no. That's wild where it's at.

[D]

But I don't belong on skis.

[C]

Think about coming down a mountain in the dark.

[B]

No, I don't do nothing about it.

[E]

You lit up. You lit up. It's a big. It wasn't through the trees. This was on a wire ski slide.

[C]

Yeah, but still, this in the dark, I mean, you can see around you a little ways, but now you can't see that far.

[D]

Have you ever been snow skiing?

[C]

No, I've tried it.

[E]

It's kind of.

[D]

You have been.

[E]

It's kind of a glow.

[C]

I've tried it.

[B]

Yeah. He didn't make it out of snow.

[C]

I spent too much time.

[B]

That's wild, man.

[D]

I don't have a lot of balance.

[B]

The last hill I tried to traverse the ice storm ended up with me. And I still got a bruise on.

[E]

My butt this time, too.

[D]

That was in West Monro, Louisiana, where The hills are quite smaller.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Gotta have very good balance.

[B]

Yeah. I ain't.

[C]

And I ain't got it.

[D]

Some people that's like.

[C]

That's like surfing. You gotta have real good.

[E]

I never tried.

[C]

I ain't got that either. Yeah.

[E]

I can't even need more, which I wouldn't do it now.

[D]

But I ain't getting on my feet. I can't get knees.

[C]

One of them things with wheels on them little short boards that all the kids are doing.

[B]

One wheel thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

Yeah. I tried that tune. Busted my butt.

[B]

I got a hard rule that I don't get on anything that don't have at least three wheels.

[D]

So you're down with roller skates.

[B]

Yeah, I'd get on. I mean, if I got to. I don't want to though that crap.

[C]

You don't do it all the time.

[B]

That wooden floor is hard.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

It bruises your body.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[E]

A lot of you doing it now. Good night. My knees are gone.

[B]

If I got my druthers, I'm going.

[E]

To be wild goose and winter gone.

[D]

You'd love a good snowmobile.

[B]

Probably. That's.

[D]

Those are fun.

[B]

That sounds like something more my spellstone.

[E]

They got. You can snowmobile up in Yellowstone in January. I'd love to do that.

[B]

Yeah. Because all the bears are asleep in.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Then you just got to worry about the wolves.

[E]

I ain't worried about them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I like to do things like bumper cars.

[E]

Bumper cars.

[B]

Very controlled scenario.

[C]

Control it to a little bit of, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know, man.

[D]

I'm trying now. I'm trying to decide if I'm more afraid of bears or wolves. Oh, I think I'm more afraid of wolves.

[E]

That cat still up there at the deer camp?

[C]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

[D]

No bears are wolves, huh? If you're out in the wilderness. Yellowstone.

[C]

No, I will be afraid of the wolves because they run in. There you go.

[B]

There's way more than one of them.

[C]

Yeah, there's way more.

[D]

If you see one wolf, you gots to bail because another one.

[C]

You may have a chance against a grizzly bear. But I don't think you'd have very much chance.

[D]

You may have a chance to get away. You ain't fighting.

[E]

I don't think you got chance for much. I mean, they're big. Nah, those are wolf pack, grizzly or the grizzly bear.

[C]

No, they tell you not to run because the grizzly bear runs about 45 to 50 miles an hour.

[D]

Tell me not to run. What am I supposed to do? Fight it?

[C]

Nope.

[E]

Roll up.

[C]

Stand your ground.

[D]

Stand my ground.

[C]

He's like the Indians. The bear like the Indians. They respect bravery.

[D]

I'm toast.

[B]

Look, Valentine's Day is coming up. You got your big date up at the Waffle House. You've cleaned your truck out. You swing by the barbershop. I did that. Look, make sure you're put together. You're already nervous. And then here comes a sweat. And you know what comes with sweat? Odor. But not if you got Mando, baby.

[C]

Don't cover it up, boys. Hey, I can smell fresh with Mando for 72 hours.

[B]

Mando is a whole body deodorant. Pits, thighs, feet, packages, anywhere. Does it batter? It was created by a doctor to stop odor before it starts, not just cover it up. And it's clinically proven to control odor for up to 72 hours. They've got a solid stick option or an aluminum free spray, both without a bunch of questionable ingredients. And it just plain works. Look, Mando. Subtle scents like bourbon, leather, clover woods and Mount Fuji are the best. I'm a big fan of Mount Fuji. You can find mando at Walmart or Target. But the best deals go [e-mail] Baby.

[D]

You don't want to be the smelly guy. School, work, dates anywhere. So.

[B]

Yeah, or work in an outdoor venue. I saw you come in here and get it out of the duck call room when we had duck Commander Sunday here. Some men mask their bo with since don't mask it, man. Do it. Available in retailers near you or head to shopmando.com because for a limited time, new customers get 20% off site wide with our exclusive code. Use [e-mail] for 20% off site wide plus free shipping. That's S H O P M A N D O dot com. Please support our show and tell them sent you. Mando's got you covered with deodorant plus sweat control. Say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long lasting freshness.

[D]

No, wait, for real, what are you supposed to do if a grizzly bear attacks? I got.

[C]

Hey, no, I'm serious. It's that. Say, stand still and. And slowly back away from it. Yeah, keep an eye contact on it, man.

[B]

Let me tell you something.

[D]

There's a lot of.

[B]

That bear is crazy. That bear going to put a paw across my back and my buttocks. He ain't going to put across my chest.

[C]

He's going to get. And he's going to get One chance to put it across your back.

[B]

Yeah, I'm going. I'm going to know this. I died trying to get away from him. I'll just say that I did okay. I didn't die trying to fight him.

[D]

I don't like this. Google AI Overview. If a grizzly bear approaches, stay calm. Well, that. Come on.

[B]

Yeah, that's out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's out.

[C]

Hey, don't. Your heartbeat should not raise.

[E]

Oh, yeah. Oh.

[D]

Do not run. Okay.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

And avoid direct eye contact. I got to look at this.

[C]

Dude, I had that wrong. I thought you thought you had.

[E]

Now speak knows your threat.

[C]

How you gonna actually slow him down?

[D]

Okay, wait.

[B]

Wait for it.

[D]

Wait for it. Speak in a low, calm voice and slowly wave your arms to identify yourself as human. Like that bear gives up.

[B]

Yeah, you're like saying, eat it Joe's. Eat it Joe. I'm the Waffle House. But whatever you do, don't him in the eye.

[C]

I do. Do the calorie.

[D]

Back away slowly. Yeah, but if the bear follows, stand your ground. Use bear spray. Ideally with it when it's within 25 to 60ft. So now I got to have a freaking ruler.

[E]

Well, I say they sell it everywhere in convenience stores up there.

[D]

And prepare to play dead if it makes contact.

[C]

Oh, I don't have to play. I've seen that movie that I can't think of his. Where the bear got him.

[B]

Leonardo.

[C]

I don't work.

[D]

He was alive, though.

[C]

Well, I'm just saying. Hey, you don't finish that, you don't play dead.

[D]

But he was.

[C]

A bear's gonna grab you.

[D]

He did continue on.

[B]

Well, you got to be like, oh, what's his name? On Jeremiah Johnson. Okay.

[D]

Hey, wait.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. And you scan grizzly pilgrim, which is. He can bring him.

[C]

He said, hey, I'll bring another in a minute. Yeah, that one.

[E]

Scan that now. Bring you another.

[C]

Bring another one.

[D]

So if it attacks you play dead. Remain still and quiet until he leaves.

[B]

We about to see how good this.

[D]

Only fight back if the attack persists. So now that you. Now that you're.

[C]

Whoop.

[D]

Then you can fight back. Yeah, dude, this is actually good advice.

[C]

Hey, I'll tell you why you don't play dance. I've got a Wiedemeyer dog that weighs about 125 pounds. We could. We was in the woods and a possum comes around and he seen the dog and fell over, played the head. Well, she just had a run, picked him up, threw him away, Got that.

[B]

Squeaker out of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

They'll play and dare. Don't work with.

[E]

Okay, you dog. A knee toy. And the first thing they do, sit there in the floor and tired up.

[B]

Get that squeaker out of it. Yeah.

[D]

So hold on. I do feel like we need to help people in this situation. Do not scream or make high pitched noises because that's going to make you sound like prey. That's actually good advice. The problem is when I go to Taco Bell, I get called ma' am because apparently I have a high pitched voice. I am screwed. Martin. Ma'.

[C]

Am.

[E]

Yeah. You're done for.

[B]

Don't worry. I won't scream when he gets on me. I will have started screaming the moment I see him.

[D]

Do not climb a tree. No problem. Can not an issue.

[B]

I don't like heights either.

[D]

Do not drop your backpack.

[B]

Why not?

[D]

Because it might accidentally bite it instead of your spine. That's. That's actually good advice.

[C]

That's good advice.

[D]

Keep your backpack on.

[C]

Keep your backpack on because he'll bite the pat back.

[B]

Say, I'm more of a. I'm cutting weight, bro.

[D]

No, no, you can't run. If you run, you're toast.

[B]

Well, he's gonna bite me and my buttock and my back.

[D]

Hold on, hold on. But it then says never turn your back on the bear.

[B]

Yeah. Gone.

[D]

But your backpack's on your back where you're supposed to be. I don't like this.

[B]

Yeah. It feels like they're saying you're sol.

[E]

Yeah. They just giving you.

[C]

Yeah, I made a rule a long time ago.

[B]

You're straight out of luck.

[C]

I don't hunt anything hunts me as a barrel. Hunt you back.

[B]

Well, I'm not. I don't ever intend to go grizzly bear hunting. I just.

[D]

No, sir.

[B]

You know, that's it. Every now and then, you end up where they are out here in West Monroe.

[D]

I stay here?

[C]

No, no. Because that reminds me of Adam Laroche and his son who was 17 at the time. They go to Alaska.

[B]

Oh, when they shot them grill.

[C]

Yeah. They go to Alaska and that kid shoots the brown bear at about, oh, 15ft with a boat.

[B]

Yeah. Nope.

[D]

No, sir.

[C]

And to be fair, thanks. Okay. Oh. Oh, you called me a coward. Why, sure I am.

[B]

Yeah, Absolutely.

[C]

Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.

[B]

Guilty as charged.

[C]

Oh. I mean, you think words are going to hurt me? It's not.

[B]

Here's what I tell you. I'm certain of the resurrection.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I am. That ain't the way I want to meet him.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I just as soon remove that One from his repertoire of. Of book writings on the book of Life. I just stay out of that chapter on bears.

[D]

Well, I do have one last piece of advice for anybody. There's a three bear rule that us in West Monroe have no idea about.

[B]

Three bears.

[D]

There's a three bear rule. If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lay down. If it's white, good night.

[C]

Really? If it's white, what?

[B]

Good night.

[D]

Good night.

[B]

Yeah. Polar bear ain't gonna. He ain't. Yeah, you're done.

[D]

But if y' all hear that I got killed by a polar bear. Whoever abducted me.

[B]

The first question you.

[C]

Need to ask, why you grab your ankles?

[B]

Yeah. If somebody tells you that I got ate by a polar bear, the first question you need to ask is, how did he end up in the Arctic Circle? Circle.

[D]

No.

[B]

Because I didn't voluntarily go there.

[D]

That happens to me. Something's gonna ride the St. Louis Zoo.

[C]

Oh, boy. Or that.

[B]

Yeah. It would have made it. It's gonna make news for a different deal.

[D]

I have seen a polar bear in person at that St. Louis Zoo.

[B]

They big.

[D]

And it was. It was just separated by me and what I assume was a very thick piece of glass.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That's the biggest thing I think was.

[C]

I think we've done this for what's. What's the biggest bear? The polar bear.

[E]

A polar bear.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Because they drink so much regular coke.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Make you fat.

[C]

No, Scott, they ate so many seals.

[E]

Well, they swapped to Pepsi. Ain't you say the commercial.

[D]

I don't like that. I don't like. I don't like Pepsi coming at Coke with their.

[C]

Did they.

[D]

Yeah. Pepsi's like started using polar bears like it's their thing.

[B]

Were there any good commercials last night or did they have any prey bird when you.

[C]

They did.

[B]

I feel like there was when you got twin three year olds. It's kind of hard to. There was one. Hard to watch it for what you usually watch it for. Like to be entertained and by the commercials and stuff. I saw Mr. Beast giving away like a million bucks.

[D]

Yeah. I didn't try that.

[B]

Did you?

[D]

Yeah, of course I did. It's a million dollars.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

No, no, no dice.

[D]

No dice.

[E]

What was the deal? What'd you have to do?

[D]

Had to solve some puzzle. I just went in there and said, lord wants me to have it, I'll have it. And typed some letters and numbers in and hit send.

[B]

Yeah. No good.

[D]

Maybe not. Who knows if it is good? I wouldn't tell you.

[B]

I'm Rooting for you if it is.

[D]

I'm rooting for me, too.

[E]

Honored.

[B]

No, never mind.

[D]

The polar bear is 1500 pounds at his biggest. The Kodiak bear is 1300 pounds.

[B]

What about that Russian bear? Ain't there like a Russian?

[E]

They're pretty. Damn. They're running all the time.

[B]

And they drink all that vodka. They don't drink Coke.

[D]

Running all the time.

[C]

Oh, Russian.

[D]

I didn't know we were going to go to bears here after the super bowl and ice storm, but.

[B]

And the. In the Olympics, but here we are.

[E]

Yeah, that stuff cold, so.

[B]

God, I don't know. I'm going to tell you, I'm way more terrified of wolves for the same reasons I said than bears. Pack hunters. Because there's more than one of them.

[D]

Yeah, we just had.

[B]

Okay. I just want to. I want to increase my odds. Like one on one or one versus ten? I'm not going to win the one on one, but I feel like I may have a chance. But me versus 10, I'm out. I mean, they're just going to win. Like there's too many of them.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There's just too many.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I.

[D]

Hold on. Do I do.

[B]

Because even if I got nine bullets, you know what? I'm still one short.

[C]

One short.

[B]

Yeah. If I got nine bullets at that Grizz, you know, maybe. But who?

[D]

Okay, we gotta talk to the people at Google. They've got all these suggestions. If you see a wolf, you don't run, make loud noises, clap, or use an air horn to let them know you're there and scared. Oh, yeah, let's just carry around an air horn.

[E]

Yeah, I do. Right.

[B]

Hold on.

[C]

I got one more pocket.

[B]

I do have one in my boat. Because now you got a key point in there.

[D]

If you run into a wolf in the water, you're in trouble anyway because that's terrifying.

[B]

That means that water done got hard.

[D]

Look big. Back away slowly.

[B]

Look.

[D]

Group up. If you're with others, put your back to back. So you.

[B]

So far, the only thing they suggested that I can do is look big.

[D]

Pick up small children, and keep pets close. I'm gonna be honest with you.

[B]

Yeah. If it's me or my dog. Jude, I love you.

[D]

Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go. That's why Old Yellow was such a good dog.

[E]

Get on it.

[C]

I think I had a wolf. He kills just for the fun of killing.

[B]

Or. Hey, like a dog, he tries to get the squeaker out of stuff.

[C]

You know, like, he don't kill when he's hungry. He will. But I mean that. That he just, you know, he kills for the fun, to kill it.

[D]

That's why old yellow whooped that one wolf. But what a good movie.

[B]

Get back. Yeller.

[D]

Remember Old Yeller?

[C]

What?

[D]

Old Yeller, the movie?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Such a good movie.

[B]

Look, it don't take no time for things to get a little off track in your health. Like an ice stor. When you're locked in, you're eating all the stuff. Because I just cleaned up my truck and saw all the Christmas tree cake wrappers that I have in there. And you know, that's a problem, man. That is a real problem.

[E]

So I definitely need to lose some weight and possibly get off my blood pressure medicine, cpap, all that kind of man.

[B]

There you go.

[D]

Well, hey, they called the same people that you, Al called. Look at him. He ain't even wearing vest anymore.

[E]

And I got some new twin babies coming now, so I got to get healthier, be able to move around, teach them to go hunting, teach them how to shoot that bow, teach them how to fish. I got all kind of stuff to do. Well, I saw how good it looked for Al, so why not me?

[B]

Most folks have tried every diet under the sun, and they're all the same. Look, you lose some weight, then it comes right back. Sometimes it's a lot more. And then sometimes you think, well, I guess I just need some more discipline. But that's just Simply not true. PhD weight loss focuses on the one thing that actually tells your body to burn fat and builds a plan that works with your body, not against it.

[E]

Well, I'll say the food was was good. Which he is correct, because I've done started it. And you know how picky they are. Plus, you get a bunch of recipes. There's a recipe on the website, but I got a pack with a few recipes I can't wait to try.

[B]

If you're done with yo yo dieting and want clarity, call PhD weight loss now and mention Cowan. No more guessing, just answers. Call 864-644-1900 and say Gowan. That's 864-664-4-1900 or visit myphdweightloss.com.

[D]

If you.

[C]

Come, you're out hunting. Okay, okay. And you run into a grizzly bear.

[D]

I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

[B]

None of that.

[D]

Go away bear.

[B]

No, no, no, I'm running. I mean, I'm.

[E]

No, you people got hurt back in them days.

[B]

I understand the common sense is to not run.

[E]

There was nowhere to Go to get help.

[B]

Flight is going to take place. And I'm going to be flapping while I'm running, trying to fly. Flight is in.

[D]

You just got a.

[B]

Flight is.

[D]

Go away bear.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You got to be low voice and wave your arms.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That way nobody can hear you scream while you get eight alive. Yeah. I don't know. I just hope to never be in that situation. I will be one of the guys. If I end up in that country that's got like seven cans of that bear spray. Don't really know why, but I will. And a big sidearm. I plan on going down in a blaze of glory.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Every bullet I got, I'm like, well.

[C]

I ain't gonna make it easy.

[B]

I intend on every bullet I got.

[D]

And people like, well, you can't shoot the bear.

[B]

Watch me.

[D]

We will sort that out in the aftermath.

[B]

And the words, word against the bears.

[D]

Word will have to suffice.

[E]

Oh, Davy Crockett, tail that Mexican general. I gotta warn you, I'm a screamer.

[D]

Davy Crockett said that?

[E]

Yeah. Didn't say the Alamo movie.

[D]

I don't think so.

[B]

The.

[D]

I did a book report.

[E]

Billy Bob was Davy Crockett.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I think it was Dave or Jim Bowie. One of them. He was one of them.

[D]

I did a book report on Jim Bowie one time. Cool knife, Martin. You okay?

[B]

But, yeah, I just had a big yawn come out of nowhere. Well, because I'm not bored.

[D]

Yo, you stayed up too late watching all the.

[B]

No, I cut out on that at like 10:30.

[E]

I got up this morning at 3:00 clock just wide awake.

[C]

You have TT my wife did.

[E]

Well, I did TT while I was up.

[C]

Yeah, my wife did the same thing.

[E]

I never went back to sleep. I went in there and turned the TV on watching Boys Come down that Mountain.

[B]

How much coffee?

[E]

I drank the pot, but.

[D]

Drank a whole pot.

[E]

Yeah. And then I had to make another for wake Paul up.

[B]

You have to go in there and. Yeah.

[E]

I take Paula coffee. I go in there, I make a coffee and I go in there to the bedroom. We got a desk in there. And I go.

[B]

That'S her alarm clock. Get up.

[C]

That's your alarm clock. Bang. Coffee's made, ready to drink.

[E]

She comes and drinks her coffee. I'll build us some toast or something.

[B]

Well, how them grandbabies do?

[E]

Good.

[B]

They doing good. What's wrong with them? Can you figure out which one of them is going to be the Olympian? Out of the two, if you had to guess.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

What?

[E]

But I don't know which one it is. It's the other one.

[C]

I know the one, but I can't figure out which one because I don't know them apart.

[E]

Paula said, oh, I can tell them apart. And I was feeding one, and she come in there and she said, did you switch with me? I thought you could tell them apart. No, I ain't. Sweet.

[B]

Yeah, I got the same one I had.

[E]

She told Joanna we're gonna have to paint some toenails.

[B]

Oh, so they're that identical?

[E]

I guess.

[B]

Well, I mean, you're around them all the time, so if you don't know I know I ain't gonna know.

[E]

One of them's 8 pounds, another 7 13.

[B]

Yep. I got one that's 37 and one is 30.

[C]

Yeah, they're growing like better weeds.

[E]

They grow and they looking around, they start and laugh and smile. I wonder what they thinking. They'll just smile all of a sudden, and this is.

[B]

This is the juice. That's what they're thinking. Like they ain't thinking about a grizzly.

[D]

Bear attack they don't even know about.

[B]

And they sounds like, yeah, then they too.

[E]

Oh, all the time. They don't burp.

[B]

Just. Just too. Yeah. He said they fart.

[E]

Like a grown man. It stink too.

[B]

He changed any dirty diapers yet?

[E]

No, not yet.

[C]

Well, she's breastfeeding or formula?

[E]

Well, she pumping. She's doing a bottle.

[B]

Bottle. But milk. Yeah, breast milk. There you go.

[E]

It's breast milk.

[C]

Oh, no, you. They. They don't, you know, you wait. They get on formula. That's when they stink.

[E]

I don't see how much worse.

[C]

Real serious. That's way worse. Way worse. If they're breastfeeding, they don't smell as bad.

[B]

Oh, none of it smell.

[C]

I don't know what the deal is on that.

[D]

That's just life advice from Uncle Sa.

[C]

I'm serious, because my. My tracer, she breastfed now. Then when she switched the phone. Good. Creepy. No, there was a big difference when they pooped.

[B]

Oh, buddy.

[C]

Yeah, you had. Yo. Sometimes you had to. It gets even worse, you know, to see if they, you know, poop.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Not when they own formula, you don't. Yeah, when they fire. Hey, yeah.

[B]

When they get on chicken and steak, you ain't got to ask no more either.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Blueberries. How come we don't digest the skins of blueberries?

[B]

Corn. You learn. We learn weird things about all sorts of things that still back there when you have kids. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

We've reached a new level. We have now unlocked a new level of parenting.

[B]

What?

[D]

All three of them just, hey, go take a shower. And they actually can clean themselves. Which the boys have been a little ahead, but now Lottie's in the gang. Shampoo, conditioner.

[B]

I still can't get the boys take a shower. They just don't like the water spraying on them. I don't. They just. They bad. But they like sitting in the bath and playing with each other too, I think. Yeah, it's more like the little mini.

[E]

Swimming pool because you got all them boats and all that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

And you seen Duck Dynasty? I was the same way at a hot tub.

[B]

Fire trucks and. Yeah, no, it's. Yeah, but I'm like, hey, y' all want to take a shower? No, take bath. That's all, man. Come on now. Like this bath time could go so much quicker if we just take a shower. They're trying to hang out. Oh, I know. Because that's the last thing before bed. That's the last stop before we go get in the beds. Any amount of time you can, you can waste in that bathroom.

[C]

Yeah, now the shower would be too quick.

[B]

Yeah, now it goes bathtub. Now they're stuck on Noah's ark on veggie tails. And so we have to watch that every night before before bed.

[E]

So she had him sitting in a. Whatever them things are. Them little.

[B]

A little rubber deal.

[E]

I don't know what the hell kind.

[B]

Of funny looking chair. Look.

[E]

Yeah. Looking up at the tv. She had one of them. I don't know who it was. Something. They were just sitting there looking.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Hey, you want to have some fun with them? Turn them on to Hay Bear.

[E]

I think that's what she said.

[B]

Was it a bunch of dancing fruit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's wild, man. Watch them. Their eyes with them changing colors.

[D]

That's what you watch.

[B]

No, that's what they did when they were that age. No, get some like tracking. Teaches them. Tracking with their eyes and stuff like that. No, now me and my boys, Monster Truck.

[D]

You know, me and my boys watched the other night.

[E]

What?

[D]

The Lord of the Rings.

[B]

Oh, yeah. No, they ain't there yet.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, that's the hot.

[D]

Well, he's in the Lord of the Rings too.

[B]

Yeah. No, they're the three year old. They're still not quite where they can sit down and watch a whole movie. They're not. They give you 20, maybe 30 minutes.

[D]

We couldn't make it through the Lord of the Rings. It's way too long. Yeah, they should have made six movies. Not three.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But we just got to the good part. And I was like, y' all gotta go to bed. It's too late.

[B]

I let them stay up.

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

Lord of the Rings is cool, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Anyways, but now let's go.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm excited. I'm ready for him to grow. I hope she'd give. I wish she'd give him fertilizer. Let him get on. Get on up her. No, she said that she thought she come in the other day, me and Paula, we watched them while they went to church. They hadn't been to church in a while, and they wanted to go. So we watched the babies and let them go. And Johanna come in. She said, I smell them rotten eggs from here because we both hold them.

[B]

Oh, right.

[E]

Smell like Rodney.

[B]

Everybody holding them.

[E]

Yeah. Well, hey, they got a strain. They'll cry. You pick them up. I shut up.

[B]

Yep, they know. Well, you get them this age, though, and they can help. Like, I have mine outside all weekend helping pick up limbs and jump. So.

[E]

Like a game.

[B]

Yeah, it was fun.

[D]

We didn't have fun. I was more of a.

[E]

We're going the biggest. How gets.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, you fill this up. The time Daddy gets back, we can get a new Hot Wheel man. Cost you a dollar as the father. Cost you $2. And you can. You can motivate them with Hot Wheels. Or at this age, you can.

[D]

I had to come up with other stuff.

[B]

Yeah, you probably want to come off a 20 spot or something.

[D]

No small threats.

[B]

Oh, or that we gonna work today. Yes.

[D]

Chainsaw tractor running. They were just throwing stuff in the back of the truck.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

They.

[B]

No, they had. They had fun. Well, I had a deal with them. If they pick up two pine cones every time we hauled a load, when we got done, they pick a new. A new car out.

[E]

There you go.

[D]

I miss Hot Wheels.

[B]

Yeah, man. Inflation. I got them, too. But they only.

[D]

What are they, $50 now?

[B]

No, $15. They're a $15. But you usually could get them for a square dollar. But the monster trucks then got a crash.

[E]

They got. You got that track.

[B]

Oh, I got all kinds of tracks. Yeah, we got loops. We got tracks that suction cup onto the windows so, like, you can suction, cover and let that. It go all the way across our house. Like you get it at the right angle.

[D]

Wheels are cool. Stairs. We used to make the tracks down the stairs and send them out to the front yard. That was a good time.

[B]

Yeah. The Jude hates them.

[D]

Upland was not a fan either.

[B]

Yeah, she don't like him. Cars going, zipping up under her legs. When she comes walking by, she looks like she's been shot at her every time. Look, Evie never imagined she would become pregnant. Doctors told her it wasn't possible. So when she found out she was expecting, fear took over, and her first pregnancy ended in abortion. It was a decision that left her carrying a grief no one had prepared her for. Later, Evie reached out for help at a preborn network clinic. She didn't find judgment. She just found compassion, truth, and healing. For the first time in a long time, Evie felt hopeful. But when she got pregnant again, everything was different. She returned to the clinic excited. And when she saw her baby on an ultrasound, when she heard that tiny little heartbeat, it was confirmed what she already knew in her heart. Today, Evie's daughter is alive. Her heart beats freely outside the womb because an ultrasound was there at exactly the right moment. One ultrasound is just $28. All gifts are tax deductible, and 100% of your donation goes directly to saving babies. Please join us. To donate securely, dial £250 and say the keyword baby. That's £250, baby. Or go to preborn.com. duck, that's preborn.com. Well, the. The guys, the fine folks have. I don't. I never asked him really how you said it, but I guess it's Esplenda 3 company. The Big Orange trucks.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I don't have to pronounce that word either.

[B]

Yeah, Scott. But they were working for the power company. They ended up at mom's house and they. To get the ones that were hanging over the lines that were still hanging, but over the line. Well, they ended up being fans of the show. Was. By the way, they all had a teacup sign from you. So they were all at that man camp deal when you went up there and. And met everybody and they said to tell you thank you for that. But then they left there with a dozen dozen Mallard decoys because I took. I had my decoys in the back of my rig and I was like, man, they ended up trimming a bunch of other stuff too, for. So I was like, I can't give you nothing other than thank you, but I can sign one of these decoys if you want them. So they all walked out of there with a Mallard Drake decoy autographed by yours truly as a thank you to them. I even swap phone numbers from a one of them lives on Truman Lake. Oh, yeah. I didn't ask him which arm? But if you need his number, he's. He's a crappy guy up there. But they were all really cool, man. They were up in that bucket 70 foot high.

[D]

There was one on our road the other day and I was. I mean, he was way up there. I said, yeah.

[B]

The old boy said, well, I wish. He said, I wish I'd let us put our climbing gear on because he couldn't get to the top. And he's like, I just take the bucket as high as it go and then get out and climb the tree. I'm like, oh, my. Let me know. That pine tree is approximately 100 foot tall. I mean, you just never. I mean, I know I knew it was big, but when a 70 foot bucket won't reach it, I was like, holy crap.

[E]

Yeah, there's gonna be a bunch of dead pines, though. Yeah, well, it's gonna turn into pine beetles.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

That's why I'm getting rid of station.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why I'm getting rid of mine asap.

[D]

I had the greatest idea on earth.

[B]

What's that?

[D]

There's one limb and it's a problem.

[B]

Yeah, it's just.

[D]

It's a missile pointed directly down at us. And you know, it's not gonna hit the house or anything.

[E]

You shoot it out.

[D]

See, I heard you just take a shotgun and shoot it out.

[B]

Out. Man, I've tried that. It takes a lot of bullets.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It takes a lot of bullets to.

[C]

Cut down depending on.

[E]

Yeah, but it's.

[C]

Size of lamb is.

[D]

And that sounded fun. But then we were all sitting around the store and I was like, well, if we could get a rope around it, you just pull it. I was like, y', all, it's too tall.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I said, It's. It's like 7, 60, 70 foot in the air.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then Cooney said, you got a rod and reel, don't you? And I was like, oh, oh, praise the Lord.

[B]

Yeah, you about to throw a line or a drone.

[D]

I tried.

[B]

You didn't get it.

[D]

I took, I had, I took. I only had 14 pound test, but I was going to bring it back. I was going to tie a rope to it. Bring it back over it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I had a little 1 ounce weight. I said, I probably got one shot at this and we're going to make it count. I just missed and went on the branch under it. And then that weight went down. And then I saw it go around that limb probably eight times. And I said, well, that ain't coming back.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So Now I just got a bunch of fishing line hanging from my tree.

[B]

Now you got one ounce of lead to worry about falling out and hitting you one day too.

[D]

It's up there. And I looked up and then I tried again with the smaller piece and I was like, you know what? This ain't. I don't know anybody that can make that cast because.

[B]

Oh, I know a couple that can make it, but they ain't gonna come down here do that.

[D]

No, my friend, I. I don't. I don't know that they've ever tried to cast 65 foot up.

[B]

It don't matter.

[D]

It's a different ball game now.

[B]

It don't matter. You give Jacob Wheeler, Kevin van Dam a 1 ounce trap and say, hey, throw that around that limb right there. And you watch him, suckers. You watch them suckers throw it around that limb.

[D]

The window's about this big.

[B]

Oh, yeah, no problem.

[D]

I'd love to see it. No, I need them to come down.

[B]

Yeah, them two right there.

[E]

Somebody does them dock shooting.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Or put them in between two before crack.

[D]

I tried and literally the first. Then I was like, man, that was the only weight I brought home. I never considered it's gonna around another brain.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

I'll take, take a bow and arrow like a fishing, fishing rig.

[B]

Oh, there you go. Tie your rope on your rope.

[D]

What if it hits?

[C]

Hey, you tie a nylon string on it.

[B]

He wouldn't know.

[D]

That's not a bad idea.

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

Because I. I thought I could almost throw something high enough, but it's just.

[B]

Or you can just get you one of them tree saddles and climb up there and do it yourself.

[E]

There you go.

[D]

Nope, that is not in the cards.

[E]

Get you one of them. One stick.

[B]

Yeah, just tree saddle your way on up there. Oh yeah, I'm out. Yeah. No, I got. I took pictures of them boys up there at that. Just how high that bucket was. And I was like, no way. And seeing the wind shake that bucket and they're up there. You know, them boys use hand saws for 90% of that stuff. Oh, yeah, they gave, they gave me one. I said, the handsaws have an orange handle on it. Now this one got a red hand.

[E]

What brand was, you know.

[B]

Yeah, samurai.

[E]

And them things are sharp, buddy.

[B]

Because I said, that ain't the same handsaws we can buy for hunting. Like, you know, it take you 10 minutes to go through a twig sometime. They were cutting logs and limbs up there that big in about two minutes.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He said, well, the Trick is, is that it. Is that it cuts both ways. The ones that they have. He said, damn it. They sell you at the store only cut one way. He said, ours cut both ways. Whenever you're doing well.

[D]

Since we're on the whole conversation of.

[E]

Winter animals and say, September's tree stand safety month.

[D]

September, tree stand safety month. And hunting and ice and everything. Before we go, I got one email. Go ahead, Kelsey.

[B]

Kelsey.

[D]

Guess where she's from.

[E]

Over Alaska.

[D]

Nailed it. How'd you know that?

[B]

Well, you said.

[E]

We're talking about it.

[B]

You said winner.

[D]

She asked if we've ever been hunting in Alaska.

[E]

I have not. She got one of them.

[D]

See, that looks so cold it hurts my feelings.

[B]

Is that a caribou?

[D]

That's a caribou, but wait for this one.

[B]

Oh, that's a moose. Oh, a big one.

[D]

Big old moose. I assume that's a big moose. I don't know if I've seen a small moose.

[B]

To me, it's a giant.

[E]

That looks like one damn four you.

[D]

Would put on the wall. I mean, that's a huge.

[B]

Yeah, he goes, oh, time out there. Go back to that moose.

[D]

Look how cool that picture is.

[B]

That sucker's at the top of the hill.

[D]

Look how far away that is.

[B]

I'm assuming that that down there is at the bottom where they live. Go look how much bigger than it is than Kelsey.

[E]

That's what I'm talking.

[D]

That's her first moose and first.

[E]

Here you go, girl.

[B]

Kelsey lived by them grizzies.

[E]

She got that. Oh, she'll tell you.

[D]

We might need some bear advice. We gave bad advice. But she did ask if we'd any of us had ever been to Alaska.

[E]

I've been there.

[C]

I've never been there, but I didn't hunt.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Did y' all like Alaska?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, we.

[E]

Everybody's laying back up there. No getting in a hurry.

[C]

We watched the bears when the salmon run was on.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They out there catching the salmon.

[B]

I want to be out there catching them too.

[D]

Y' all ever eat moose?

[E]

But I bet it says no.

[B]

I bet it.

[D]

She says moose is the best. Caribou sausage runner up. And I have had that.

[E]

Huh.

[B]

I bet they're both good.

[E]

Yeah, caribou's pretty good.

[C]

Eating a guy that hunts all over the world.

[E]

What's it called?

[C]

We went up there and he had caribou, moose, bear, bear, stout. I can't. You know, I wouldn't do. I wouldn't eat bear.

[B]

I mean, I would if I had.

[C]

To, but if I Started that.

[B]

Me and them. Me and them are tight. See, I don't even want to hunt.

[C]

It's like alligator.

[E]

They ate some north somewhere and it was pretty good.

[B]

What's that?

[E]

Bear. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And I said I wasn't expecting that because I expect because I'd always heard, oh, it's greasy, it ain't no good. So I was just doing it to be nice. And you ate gar balls when I ate it.

[B]

I said, yeah, I'll try most anything.

[E]

Once you got to have a no thank you portion.

[D]

I'd like to try moose.

[B]

Moose.

[E]

I bet moose is probably good.

[B]

I would bet it's fantastic.

[C]

That's good anyway.

[B]

Yeah, pretty much.

[D]

Kelsey, shout out to your northern snowy living.

[B]

Yeah, they say mountain lions. Great.

[D]

Okay, then we can't trust them.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

But I ain't ever. I mean again, I want to stay on their side. I want to keep them tight like.

[D]

They think they sending signals from the beyond. Hey, I'm just would have attacked you by now if that was happening, sir.

[B]

Well, I understand. And sometimes they do and you got to shoot them in self defense. But you know, I mean, sometimes they get right in there on you and you know. But yeah, that's why. That's how I know birds are real. They're not drones. Because if they would, they didn't dropped one on my head.

[C]

That is true.

[D]

Or they might not be.

[B]

But I just want the mountain lion to look at me. If he ever thinks about, say, you know, he never messed with none of us. I think that's a good old boy. I'm just going to walk on.

[D]

I don't think that's how that probably is.

[E]

But you know what?

[B]

That's what I'm going with. How many were the bears?

[E]

And how many is hanging on that lamb up there sitting in that fork just watching us go to deer stain? All of them.

[B]

Yeah, they let us walk right by them. So I'm cool with them. And we good.

[D]

No, not happening.

[E]

Remember that in the bow range we got up there 7J.

[B]

Yeah, I'm out. Man, you're living in a backyard.

[D]

Big cats.

[B]

All right, well, let's go home.

[D]

Second Thessalonians 1 and 3. We ought always to thank God for you, brothers. And rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. Keep loving each other, y'.

[B]

All. Amen.