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Martin
Foreign.
Phil
Did y' all see where that beaver attacked that kid?
Stone
Well, time out. I'm out.
Martin
Welcome back.
Stone
Welcome back to the duck call room. We gotta welcome everybody lose our manners. Where did a beaver attack a kid?
Johnny D
I saw that.
Phil
Hey, I've seen it on television.
Stone
Do what?
Phil
He bit him on the leg.
Stone
A beaver?
Phil
Yeah.
Stone
Bit a kid?
Phil
Yeah, the guy. Hey, he grabbed him and threw him back in the water.
Stone
Well, why would you throw him back?
Phil
If he comes flew him back again, attack him again.
Martin
I'm already on it. Oh, my goodness.
Stone
Yeah, a beaver.
Martin
Ladies and gentlemen, if you have not. Oh, dead Gummet. There's an ad. I only caught like a second of it.
Stone
I need you to throw this on a big screen. By the way.
Martin
Rabid beaver attacks family fishing at Lake Henry in New Jersey.
Phil
Yep. There you go.
Stone
See? Jersey.
Phil
Oh, leave it. Leave it to city people to get bit by beaver.
Martin
Leave it to beaver.
Stone
Hey, leave it to the beaver.
Martin
How do I.
Phil
Hey, watch out. Watch out.
Johnny D
Here we go.
Phil
You got him by the leg. Look, he pulled him off of him. Hey, hey, look at him. Look at him. Hey, look, look. He's after him, boys.
Stone
I like the one in the crocs trying to.
Phil
Hey, yeah.
Stone
Hey, that's how Jackson throws a fish back. Just like. What's the dog doing?
Phil
Hey, dog, you supposed to be hitting the beaver. Sip, son. What?
Stone
Here he come back. He coming back.
Phil
He's coming back in the world.
Johnny D
Ever say that?
Stone
When beavers attack.
Martin
Sigh. You saw this on the news?
Phil
Yeah,
Martin
I gotta go back to the beginning.
Phil
Hey, I thought it was.
Martin
That's the kid.
Phil
Hey, I thought it was hilarious.
Martin
Getting bit by the beaver. They. They. Yeah, Body slam the beaver. And then this kid's fallen trying to get away.
Johnny D
Soccer kick.
Stone
I love that. The big kid. Look at. Look how much bigger the kid that got bit is. And he's running. And then you got little man. Just saying douche. Also, by the way, kids, I'm teach you very valuable lessons.
Martin
I could watch this over and over.
Stone
This is when we need a boomerang. This is what we need to bring boomerang back.
Phil
Oh, man, I like the kid. Grabbed him, body slammed him in the water.
Stone
He just said, no. Get up out and look at my. Look at my big fella over there.
Martin
This kick is awful though.
Stone
I feel like calling that big fella a kid is a serious misrepresentation.
Johnny D
Oh, yeah. What's she gonna do? That little stick.
Stone
Yeah, I get you got the mighty.
Martin
What news channel do you watch to get this news?
Phil
It was just. I Was watching it just come on.
Stone
According to that, you need to watch storyful, whatever that is.
Martin
That's.
Stone
However, kids, I will say, you go messing with a beaver's house, you better be ready to get to smoke. I saw that big lodge, right?
Phil
Yeah, that's what he had. He's messing with a lot.
Stone
Yeah. Now, I've never seen one attack, but you go kick it in something's house. I mean, when we go tear out a dam and stuff, you're ready for a fight. They just go the other way because we shoot them.
Phil
That's why Phil Robertson, when he wants to do that, he has. He had some kind of weapon on him.
Stone
That's what I'm talking about.
Phil
Okay. Either the M16 or 22 was.
Johnny D
Beavers are relentless.
Phil
Oh, no.
Martin
That sucker was going back for more.
Johnny D
Oh, yeah.
Martin
I would have thrown him against that tree.
Johnny D
It was one of the greatest things I've ever seen.
Martin
I have a question, though. Who the heck was filming that and how did they not just die laughing? I would have dropped.
Phil
That's a good one right there. You got it on.
Stone
Does it make you question every video you see on social media by now? Like, I mean, I do. Is this a. Is this. Does somebody make this in a lab
Johnny D
or what's the odds of somebody with a phone at the ready while all that was going on?
Stone
Yeah. Standing there, catching a big boy. Get.
Martin
Oh, man.
Stone
That hauled on by a beaver.
Martin
That beaver had a. Oh, my goodness. It had rabies. But now I found an interview of the kid that got bit and he's wearing a T shirt that has a beaver on it, and it's like Jaws, but it's gnaws. What if your job was to be a news reporter and you got sent out to the lake where a kid got bit by rabid beaver?
Johnny D
A rabid beaver.
Phil
He wasn't a rabid beater. The beaver just bit him.
Martin
It had rabies. They tested.
Phil
How did I say it had rabies? Look. Hey, we're duck hunting, okay? Blue winged teal. And hey, blue winged teal comes in lights, okay? And they. The film. The guy filming. Here comes a big cottonmouth. Well, hey, the blue winged teal just attacked that cottonmouth.
Johnny D
I remember that. Yeah.
Phil
Pecking him. Just chasing him and pecking him. And I mean, that cottonmouth was. Hey, it's about big. Is that right there? I think that was about five foot. Five foot long.
Johnny D
Johnny D. Speaking of beaver commander, I met the beaver commander last week. We hired a guy. We finally hired an expert. You know, there's only one man that I know hates a beaver worse than Phil Robertson and that's Dan the butler because he's the one with the rake and the pick.
Phil
Oh, he's doing that now.
Johnny D
Oh yeah, okay. Yeah, that's either him or me though. He's doing it well.
Martin
And the photo you sent me?
Johnny D
Oh, I sent Johnny D a picture. So we, we hired this expert and he has been. I'm talking about annihilating the beaver population. And Dan is as giddy as I've ever seen him.
Phil
Oh, he'll make you happy.
Johnny D
So he, he said, well you're fooling
Phil
with beavers, they'll make you happy. You get to pop.
Johnny D
Dan sent me a picture. The only thing I can describe that picture as is Louisiana Wind chimes.
Phil
Louisiana.
Martin
Ready for it?
Johnny D
S Here it comes.
Phil
Let's see what we got. Old Dan's got a look about him, ain't he?
Stone
Well, that one's a big.
Martin
Do you see what's hanging from the tree?
Phil
Yeah, I see it.
Stone
That one is a big.
Martin
Dan the butler has gone full Lord of the Rings and putting his enemies heads outside.
Phil
That's a pretty good sized beaver.
Stone
Oh yeah, that one is a big.
Johnny D
Oh yeah.
Martin
So he is that like a warning
Johnny D
to all the other beavers? That's what in his mind he.
Phil
Oh hey, that's a trophy.
Johnny D
Discouraging beavers from, from being on the
Stone
premise he done messed around and got the whole fam family.
Johnny D
Oh yeah.
Martin
And put them up to warn the rest of the world. You come down here, this is what happened.
Phil
Hey, all I think about this. To the trees. To the trees. They went wrong direction.
Johnny D
You know what, what aggravated me the most? You know, Phil planted a bunch of cypress trees down there about what, 17 years ago? Yeah, boy, they're looking good too. And I went down there last month and the beavers had done cut at least a dozen of them.
Phil
Oh no, I don't.
Johnny D
Right around the lake.
Phil
Yeah.
Johnny D
And was building a dam in the creek and oh yeah, that's when I started. You know, I got to find somebody to help out because we're not good trappers. So that's what made me the most angry. Because if you don't get the beavers, your trees are going to die.
Phil
They're a scourge.
Johnny D
Oh, they're a scourge.
Phil
Look, beavers has killed more timber than the timber industry right now. You got to think about that. Beavers have have killed more trees than the stupid timber industry.
Stone
Now to play devil's advocate, is it because we Destroyed their wetlands.
Phil
Well, it may be. Yeah, well, it's always been a war.
Stone
Now, I'm not a fan of the beaver, mind you. Did you see mine and my kids saga with Crunchy last year?
Johnny D
Yeah.
Stone
I remember trying to flood this. That's the same problem they always have. You try to put some water somewhere, they stop it. You try to pull water from somewhere, they stop it.
Phil
Oh, they had.
Stone
Why can't we just work together, guys? Like all we got to do is work together.
Johnny D
Well, that's crazy. You talk about two beavers built that huge deal. Well, I asked the beaver commander, I asked him, I said, how many beavers you think is doing all this? Because they don't cut down 12 trees, two giant dams within a few days. And how many beavers? I was thinking 30 beavers. He said about six to eight total.
Phil
No, hey, look, our guy lost 10 acres of hardwood on Red River. A farmer. The farmer blew the dam with dynamite. Well, hey, he had 10 acres of hardwood timber up on a hill. Well, hey, the beaver started just gnawing them trees down, building a down back. And he just woke up there one day after he blew it, blew it three or four times, you know, and his foreman, he said, hey, boss, you, you lost all that timber? He said, what do you mean lost it? He said, hey, you're blowing their dam. Well, they're cutting your trees down and rebuilding the dam with it, you know. So boss, you know, he goes by, look, 10 acres of hardwood timber gone. Then he started saying, hey, piss on the dynamite, kill these suckers long, you know, high powered rifles at night. What's the result? See, at night stuff.
Stone
Thermal.
Phil
Thermal. Oh, that is all out war. Guess what? He finally gave it up. He blew it. Shot him at night. Nope. They come back. Hey, you talking about resilience, okay? A beaver, he ain't got no quilt. A beaver's just like the Navy seals. They work at night, okay? Hey, they're bad to the bone.
Johnny D
They are.
Martin
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Phil
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Martin
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Stone
Is that why the Buc ee's mascot is a beaver? Because you know you're gonna stop? Is it like creating a dam? You say I gotta stop here.
Martin
It does create a.
Stone
A log jam for sure.
Martin
A jam I don't know about a dam.
Stone
Yeah. We need to ask Mr. Bucky. Is that why we went with beaver? Because that's pretty clever. If so, I never really thought of it. Like it don't.
Phil
Okay. They, you know, they, they do some amazing stuff. I google it, see what the biggest beaver on record is.
Martin
Hold on. Google the world record.
Phil
Yeah. Say what the biggest beaver. Better be careful, buddy. I see one that was hey about 125 pounds.
Martin
The heaviest North American beaver on record weighed 110 pounds. Cotton Iron County, Wisconsin in 1921.
Phil
That's pretty good.
Martin
Typical. But you saw one that was 125.
Phil
Oh no. I saw one.
Stone
Well you know his story's always got at least a time and a half.
Johnny D
Oh yeah.
Phil
Hey, I was biggest people being Phil was with it. We didn't have dragging logs in high water from Cheney Lake and take it. It's Phil's property down through.
Martin
Oh, Shiny Shiny's back.
Phil
Shiny creek.
Johnny D
Oh yeah. Looks good.
Phil
Took two years. Took two years. I'm serious. High water.
Stone
Did you know there's only two living species of beaver in the world?
Phil
I didn't know that.
Stone
The North American beaver and the Eurasian beaver.
Johnny D
Huh.
Stone
And there's a. I bet them Russian
Phil
beavers are Eurasian beavers. Little he's. He's a he's a miniature.
Martin
Wait, what?
Phil
He's a miniature beaver.
Stone
You think so, huh?
Phil
I'm serious. Who the Eurasian Eurasian beaver is? He's a small.
Stone
Oh, I don't know.
Phil
That is like you got a Canadian honker. He's large. But look, you got the lesser, lesser Canadian. He's about, oh, a little bit bigger than a mallard, right?
Stone
Hey, I got one for you though. There's a much older extinct giant beaver.
Martin
Oh yeah.
Stone
Live during the ice age and could grow over six foot long.
Johnny D
Six foot.
Phil
I believe that because, hey, I seen one about 125lbs. He was an ancestor of that one.
Stone
What you, what you do if you run into a six foot beaver though?
Phil
You better have some kind of firearm.
Stone
Imagine if old boy. Imagine if old boy in Jersey would have been.
Phil
Unless you like story you're good with a knife.
Martin
Yeah, If I say, yeah, it was
Johnny D
me about you pull that trigger till it clicks.
Phil
Look, you, hey, you ever heard him slap him tails?
Martin
Yeah.
Phil
You ever looked at a beaver down tore it apart. Hey, this thing is well put together and I that tail. Hey, look, in that movie I was telling you about it, that video when they was at full bore, it was about 25 beavers. Half of them had brush and the other half had mud on the back of their tail. And when I'm talking about mud, hey, it's a pile. I mean a big pile. And they come up there and hey, the beaver rams the brush in the thing. Then the guy, the other one slams mud in there. And then you hear bow, pow, pow, pow.
Stone
Knock the mucus loose. Oh no, you need one to slap you on the back right now. Get that out of there.
Phil
Hey, well, they put that stuff in there. It's made, buddy.
Johnny D
So they're like a bunch of bricklayers.
Phil
Oh no, I'm serious.
Johnny D
You got a mudman, you got a
Phil
stick man, You, I mean you, if you never did it, you would not believe how you know. Because I had to weld feel a iron four prong trident, rake, rake, rake. Yeah, I had to weld it because he kept breaking shovels, you know. So he said, hey, weld me up something that won't break. So that's what I did. I had a 2 inch pipe and then had a 4 prong rakle in it. And hey, when a beaver puts something together during this heart, he's like. And they're like Matt Owens, the carpenter when he builds something.
Martin
Oh, Mac. Hey, buddy. Matty Owens and Mac Owen.
Phil
Different characters. There's two Owens.
Martin
No, no, no, there's no s. Don't you combine us with them s folk.
Phil
But hey you start ain't no o n's. You start tearing something apart. A beaver put together. You got us a work all those
Johnny D
sticks and branches there they put them in at different angles. Make it stronger.
Phil
No, no man. Oh hey.
Johnny D
They're layered on.
Phil
They're one of the best builders.
Martin
I'm telling you. We need to come down to the art river.
Phil
Oh no. It's an art form. A beaver, when he puts a dam together he can keep the water level exactly where he wants it to be.
Stone
Well, I'm talking about way better than army corps of engineers.
Phil
Oh hey hey. That puts all whole visitors a shame.
Martin
Hey you think we could do that?
Stone
Did you know that we could go
Martin
trap like 20 beavers and put them down there in Columbia and see if they can fix the dam.
Phil
They would fix.
Stone
There's at least 20 beavers already.
Johnny D
They would they're there.
Martin
Well I need them to fix it. How do we get them to fix it?
Stone
I don't think they do a lot of underwater construction. Yeah because the problem there is I'm saying up under the dam they're going
Phil
to have to underneath because hey they got. They got they drilled tunnels.
Stone
Okay. The problem is there's already a hole.
Phil
I know but. No, no, they build tunnels though in a. In a dam. Yeah. You are man made dam.
Johnny D
This hole is about 40 foot below the surface.
Stone
That's going to be a toughie. We're going to have to get them some. Some oxygen. We're going to have to get them some tanks or something.
Martin
I'll get them. I will fund the research.
Stone
Beaver attacks are a little more common than I ever even thought they might be though. You know I had to. I had to look online after.
Martin
Is that what you've been doing over there?
Stone
Yeah, I had to look it up.
Martin
Look it up Beaver attack.
Phil
Why? You gotta figure it out. There's been more imposing just one on their territory.
Stone
Oh yeah. Well the deal is like I guarantee you what happened as they went up there and that beaver sat there and you're a kid, right?
Phil
Yeah.
Stone
I won't go look at it. I mean I know, me too right. I'm go check it out and then I just got too close because it probably had baby beaver and rabies.
Phil
I was just fixating that will cause that would bring an attack at the
Stone
narrative however you need it to dispose
Phil
of the that would bring an attack if they had young.
Martin
Are you claiming the government is not telling us the Truth about this beaver's attack.
Stone
I am. I'm just saying.
Martin
You're saying it might not have had rabies.
Stone
I don't think that beaver woke up that morning and said, you let the deck sucker come up here because I got rabies. I'm going to go over and bite him. I'm going to say there was a little tomfoolery at foot.
Phil
It's. It's that guy. I will say. I will say this, okay? Yo, he would have had to got bit by a rabbit, a coyote or wolf.
Johnny D
The beaver got bit by that.
Phil
That's the only way they're going to have it because, hey, look, all they do is knock trees down. So to have rabies, not. You would have to have a wolf or a coyote had it and bit him. Fight.
Martin
Yeah, that's. But that's how you get rabies. You get bit by something with.
Phil
Well, no, no, but I'm just saying
Martin
that's what happened to old Yellow.
Phil
That would be odd.
Stone
Rabies in wild beavers is very rare.
Martin
Oh, here we go.
Phil
I told you. I told you the conspiracy. I was trying to tell you that.
Martin
Look, if Old Yeller can get rabies, so can this. This beaver that attacked.
Stone
Look, beavers typically only get rabies spillover infection after being bitten by another rabid animal, right?
Martin
Yeah, animals bite each other.
Stone
It's a real spider man situation here.
Phil
Oh, your head. If I tell you about it, it's true.
Martin
I. But I know that's true. That's how you get rabies.
Phil
Well, hey, a beaver. A chance of a beaver having rabies is like one in a million.
Martin
That kid should have bought a lottery ticket.
Phil
Okay, maybe even higher than that.
Stone
One Source says from 2011 to 2020, there were only two confirmed rabies cases in the United States in beavers, I'm telling you. Well, we just added one in New Jersey.
Phil
I'm telling you, because this thing. Only thing he does is he gnaws trees down and builds dams.
Martin
And the other thing he does is he gets yeeted back into this lake.
Stone
But that does not.
Martin
It gets me every time.
Stone
That kid up there does not look like that kid in that photo in that other one. I'm sorry, you.
Martin
Oh, you're going full conspiracy. You think they got a child?
Stone
I think they get. No, I think the kid that they interviewed is the one that chunked him
Phil
back in the water most of the time. When you seen Phil shoot a beaver, how big was he? Just average.
Johnny D
60, 70, 80 pounds.
Martin
How many of them rabies?
Phil
Well, no, no, But I'm just telling you, none.
Stone
They all died from average.
Phil
Average. Okay. He's saying like 75 pounds on average. That's pretty good size. Little animal.
Johnny D
They're big.
Phil
You know, if you get one okay, that is healthy and has, you know, all everything's going right for him. Oh, he'll get up there 150.
Stone
Even though the biggest one's only 110.
Phil
I'm seriously, he'll get up there at £150.
Stone
What you got? Sigh.
Phil
It looks like clothes of some sort.
Martin
Oh, he got that poncho stuff. Martin.
Stone
Yeah, Poncho, you're gonna look good initially.
Phil
Actually pretty good stuff too.
Stone
I guarantee you.
Martin
You need to pearl snaps and everything.
Phil
Sigh.
Stone
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Phil
Man, Poncho are looking pretty good here, boys.
Stone
Pro tip. I got the denim one. Wear it all the time when I'm working outside because it's a little bit thicker. I love it.
Phil
These things are really comfortable.
Stone
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Johnny D
Who's going around checking beavers for abs though? I mean it's a good point.
Martin
I've never hey had one test.
Phil
Even if they checked them, you think
Martin
it flick the test. They're that smart.
Phil
Hey, I will challenge the wildlife people. Hey, they're getting Their other buddies to
Martin
pee in the cub.
Phil
I guarantee you, hey, it'll be like, hey, one out of 30 million.
Martin
There's not even 30 million beavers.
Phil
Oh, yes, there is.
Martin
No, there's 15 million beavers.
Phil
You go up north, son, there's 15
Martin
million North American beavers.
Phil
There's what, 15 million.
Martin
So only half of one has rabies.
Phil
Hey, 15 millions in Canada, son.
Stone
The world. Have we talked about beavers for 30 minutes?
Phil
Oh, they're resilient little suckers.
Johnny D
Oh, we want to move on to something else.
Stone
Not really.
Martin
I kind of. I kind of want to go down the rabies rabbit hole. What is rabies virus?
Phil
Right.
Martin
But like, it just makes you bite. Does it make you bite people? Like, if I got rabies, I don't think it.
Stone
I don't think.
Martin
But I want to bite.
Stone
I don't think it makes you. You just go. You go mad. You get like. Yeah. You get a high fever and it does something to your brain.
Johnny D
Oh, I'm at the mouth, I think
Stone
is the way rabies works.
Johnny D
They all had. They always have the white foam coming out of their mouth.
Stone
Yeah, yeah. Especially in them cartoons. Yeah, they really exaggerate.
Phil
That is one of them that. That Skunks gets it and so do. What's the little armadillo? Armadillo get rabies.
Stone
Thought he was a leper. I thought the armadillo was.
Martin
Armadillos get leprosy.
Phil
Yeah, they carry, but they. They're subject to that.
Stone
Rabies. Yep. That makes sense.
Phil
Skunks, definitely. Big time.
Stone
I saw.
Phil
I mean, I. I've run up on skunks in the woods, had that.
Stone
He run up and bite you?
Phil
He tried to.
Johnny D
I think he's. I think possums get rabies.
Phil
Skunks get it. I know skunks get it because I've shot, I've killed skunk. Oh, you know how he attacked me?
Martin
They. You get afraid of water too, if
Stone
you get that doesn't really fit for a beaver.
Martin
Can you imagine how scared he was
Phil
when you walk in the air flying. That will be one reason that the beaver don't get it.
Martin
Because he don't prefer the water flu like symptoms. But without, you know, you pretty much.
Phil
You gone pretty quick.
Martin
If you don't get medical attention.
Phil
Literally drives you insane.
Stone
The leading source of human rabies cases in the United States. Bats number one.
Johnny D
Oh.
Stone
Raccoons number two.
Johnny D
Yep.
Stone
The skunk weighing in at number three.
Phil
Oh, yeah. I tell you.
Stone
And the fox at number four.
Martin
Coyote ain't on there yet.
Stone
He Is listed under others. Those are your top four. Coyote, bobcat, beaver, cat, dog, cow, horse. Anything with fur pretty much after that.
Phil
And I knew about the raccoons that had.
Stone
Yeah, rats, mice, rabbits, squirrels.
Martin
You know how scary it would be to come across a cow with rabies that was trying to bite you?
Stone
Small rodents rarely survive attacks from predators long enough.
Phil
Think about what a possum does. He finds a dead carcass like a cow and then crawls up in his rear end and lives there.
Stone
I've seen that.
Martin
That's just.
Stone
Okay, I've seen that on Bath River.
Johnny D
Yeah, yeah.
Stone
Crash.
Phil
That's like. If you lay down with dogs, you're going to get fleas.
Stone
If a wild animal bites or scratches somebody. Yeah. Saliva is how it spreads all through saliva.
Phil
That's why they have foam. Oh, they rough down because that skunk. It was. It was self defense. I had to kill him or get killed myself.
Johnny D
Did y' all ever try to eat a possum?
Phil
Well, oh, daddy and mom and them used to cook them all the time. I didn't ever eat them.
Stone
Is that the one you eat with sweet potatoes or is that a raccoon?
Phil
No, sweet potato, possum and sweet potatoes.
Stone
Why'd them two get tied together, you think?
Phil
Who knows?
Stone
The chicken wins. He got waffles.
Phil
Yeah. Hey, I feel.
Stone
Shrimp got grits. Possum got a sweet tater.
Johnny D
Remember that scene on Lonesome Dove? An old boy skinning that possum out? Yeah. Look about it. Did you ever try the possum?
Phil
Nope.
Stone
No ever.
Phil
Anything that will do what they do
Stone
now you've ate a possum. You took a bite when he was a kid. You didn't know nobody. Come on.
Phil
No.
Martin
Possum and sweet potatoes is a traditional southern United States.
Phil
Oh, it's not. Hey, look, my parents and kin folks, they. They all like.
Martin
You roast it with the till. Both are tender. And sweet potatoes absorb the rich rendered fat of the piece.
Phil
They say that. They say that barbecued raccoon is real good.
Johnny D
That's what they say.
Phil
Typically, I ain't ate one now.
Martin
Baking at 350 degrees for two plus hours, you gotta cook it that long for. Ugh.
Phil
There's just. There's just certain things I wouldn't eat. That'd be like a, you know, a cat. I wouldn't eat a cat. They say that what? Cheetah is real good.
Martin
Who says that?
Phil
Who.
Martin
Who says that? Cheetah takes.
Phil
Google it and see who says it.
Johnny D
Who's they?
Phil
Just today, you know, said my Life is good.
Stone
People often describe beaver meat as dark and rich like beef, slightly sweet, lean but flavorful.
Phil
But it's got a little woodsy flavor.
Stone
The tail very fatty and considered a delicacy.
Phil
Oh, yeah.
Martin
Would you like to hear about cheetah meat? It is not considered to taste good, with reports describing it as extremely lean, tough, and having an unpleasant aftertaste reminiscent of swimming pool water.
Phil
There you go.
Stone
This is my favorite part. In places like Louisiana and other parts of the south, some trappers still harvest and eat them today, often cooked in stews, chili, or a slow barbecue.
Martin
Barbecue beaver.
Stone
We should have. That's. We should have cooked one. Sigh.
Phil
What?
Stone
Let's get a beaver and cook. Let's make a YouTube video. Uncle Saeed's beaver.
Phil
No. Hey, here. No. I tell you why they ain't no good. Why if you skin one.
Stone
Yeah. Have you done that? Have you skin him?
Phil
Oh, yeah, I've skinned them.
Stone
What'd you skin him for? You sell the hide?
Phil
Well, yeah, yeah. But anyway, they've. They've got what I call just thousands of fingers of. Of like your belly skin, barely skin abdominal on their body. A beaver does. You talking about a pain in the rear end to skin a beaver. Is it really? Now I understand why that used to let the Indian squalls do it. No, no, I'm serious. I'm serious.
Stone
What else did they have to do?
Phil
No, no, no, no, I'm serious. Hey, you talking about a pain in the butt. And hey, here's the thing. You got to have a good sharpened wood rock on hand. Cause after you hit that beaver hide about, oh, six or seven times, you gotta sharpen the knife again. Oh, that sucker is tough and will dull a knife blade.
Stone
He said, I see why they let them squalls do it now.
Johnny D
Yeah, we don't want to mess with them beavers giving them squalls.
Phil
Hey, you gotta realize. Hey, here's the thing you gotta realize. All of my uncles, okay, back in the day, run a strap line. All of them trying to make money, and they made a good living at it.
Stone
Y' all have a couple of squalls.
Phil
Oh, hey, well, they have their wife probably helped them skin that crap out. Because I'm telling you, all of my uncles. Jace run a trap line in high school.
Martin
Jase was catching beavers in high school.
Phil
Hey, Jase, run a trip line in high school and would, you know, sell the fur. Oh, my goodness.
Martin
So you wouldn't eat it if we brought some?
Phil
No, you should. There's just some things I'm not going to eat. I'm not an adventurous
Stone
connoisseur of perfume made from beaver. What? Beaver.
Martin
Oh, yeah. We looked that up one time at that, right?
Stone
Yeah.
Martin
All I'm saying is, like, you eat crawfish. That's weird.
Phil
No, it ain't weird.
Martin
It's pretty weird. No, as someone who cooked the sack yesterday, even better. Feels all sweaty.
Phil
And shrimp.
Johnny D
What about a crawfish pie?
Phil
No, anal pie. Forget the pie.
Martin
My man hates it.
Phil
I'm not into chicken pie. Crawfish pie, all that stuff can feel used to cook.
Martin
Hey, just give the boy the protein. I'm just saying a crawfish is a weird thing to eat when you really look at it.
Phil
No, mud buggies are good eating.
Martin
They do taste good.
Stone
I'm just saying.
Martin
I can see where somebody would think we were weird.
Phil
The connoisseur. The shrimp is actually good, Yo.
Martin
What? Shrimp.
Stone
Connoisseur of the shrimp is actually.
Phil
Yeah, yeah. Hey,
Martin
I was worried.
Stone
Y' all wonder why we go through mental gymnastics in here.
Martin
I thought I had a stroke for a second. I was like, what did he say?
Stone
I'm used to it. It's like talking to my three year old. No, they don't quite finish the full thought.
Phil
Shrimp is the next one.
Martin
You're saying shrimp's better than crawfish?
Stone
Oh, shrimp is fantastic.
Phil
Shrimp is the top of the line, crawfish is the bottom.
Stone
I'm very thankful I don't have a shellfish alley because I love shellfish.
Johnny D
Boiled shrimp, about the best thing.
Martin
Well, that's. See, that was what I ran into. All the mothers for Mother's Day wanted me to boil crawfish.
Stone
Oh.
Martin
And so I was like, okay.
Phil
Oh, they're good.
Martin
So I just did one sack of crawfish and then a whole bunch of shrimp afterwards. And I said, we can get full on this.
Phil
Yeah.
Stone
No, shrimp are good.
Phil
Shrimp. Shrimp is your. Higher, higher.
Johnny D
Did your shrimp peel easy?
Martin
Oh, I. I threw them in there. Already peeled?
Stone
Yeah,
Phil
just straightened across.
Stone
You just warmed them up?
Martin
Spiced them up and warmed them up.
Phil
Hey, that's Philip McMillan. Cooks great crawfish.
Johnny D
Does he?
Phil
Yeah. I was shocked. MacMillan.
Stone
That checks out. He's a goulash man.
Martin
He cooks great coffee. I was shocked.
Phil
Hey, there were tender. And the reason is, is he puts a lot of butter and then they're easier to peel.
Martin
I tried that yesterday. I didn't feel like it was any different than normal.
Phil
Oh, no, it's a difference.
Stone
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Phil
She's doing good.
Stone
That's what I'm talking about. Look Phillips on it.
Martin
Everybody's.
Stone
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Martin
I just still feel swollen from all the salt.
Phil
I use it because I'm not a big crawfish eater and I ate like five pounds when Philip cooked it.
Johnny D
Look, that bowl and the shrimp is an art form. I, I use the old stale cracker method.
Martin
What's the stale cracker?
Johnny D
You know. You seen that guy? The stale cracker?
Martin
No.
Stone
Oh, yeah. He.
Johnny D
Wow, man, he's something else. We need to get him on here.
Stone
Former. Wasn't he a state trooper?
Martin
Oh, that guy's phenomenal.
Johnny D
Yeah, he's hilarious.
Phil
People can't cook shrimp. Fried shrimp. They can't cook it. They weren't eating.
Johnny D
Oh, yeah. Cook it too long. Cook it too long, it gets chewy. No, no, he. When he boils his shrimp, he, he don't use the, the seasoning. He bowls in a clean water for one minute, then he kills the bowl as the seasoning and that makes it where they. The peeling just falls off of them.
Martin
Oh, that's interesting.
Phil
There's a lot of tricks to that about.
Johnny D
You can't.
Phil
You can't boil.
Johnny D
You can't boil shrimp in salt. Yeah, that makes it stick. Makes the peel sticks.
Phil
The one only one that I could really enjoy eating fried shrimp because he had it down. Hey, they hit. They hit hot grease in less than a minute.
Johnny D
Oh, Johnny, do you need to do yourself a favor. Watch that guy. He is highly entertaining.
Stone
Problem with Phil is you didn't want to be there on fried shrimp day before because then you got the knife and had to sit there and devein. You had to devein a butterfly on for him.
Johnny D
We would. We would peel and devein for at least three hours.
Stone
Forever. And there is nothing in this world that smells worse. The shrimp heads.
Johnny D
That is true.
Stone
Shrimp heads make a stank like.
Phil
What are you talking about? Especially if you leave them in a yeti cooler on a day or two and then come back. Bad move. Oh, that cooler away. You can't clean it.
Martin
You can clean it.
Phil
You cannot clean it.
Stone
You clean it.
Phil
Leave it in there. If you leave shrimp heads in it, you might well burn it.
Stone
Oh, ammonia. Ammonia. Get it out of there. I've left worse than that in there. Well, I've left worse than that in a year.
Johnny D
Look, I had a pretty cool week last week. I went on somewhat of an adventure and caught me at giant Gar Big. I literally got gar holed. But then on the way back I stopped at in Vols Parish, this old guy named Dale Borlau, O Cajun. He makes his duck calls by hand. And when I say by hand, he uses no electric tool.
Martin
Oh goodness.
Johnny D
Little pocket knife. Got a three year wait list. But I'd seen him on your way to social media. He's got a thick accent. He carves decoys with hatchets, cuts down the trees with a handsaw. It was pretty awesome. I could have stayed there all day long, but I had to leave. But that guy say you would enjoy his company old timey. He made about a cane. He'd go the woods. He'd cut down cane for his barrels insert. And he used a little cedar for the loser. You know that lose your style inserts in them cane calls. Yeah, man, it was awesome.
Stone
Yeah, say if they hate else.
Phil
Uncle Wade Charles, one of my uncles.
Johnny D
Yeah, that's right.
Phil
Look here. He killed every kind of animal there is and birds. And he made baits. Fly, fly rod baits. People told him hey that he should do it and sell them because that just you talking about. You talking about beautiful.
Stone
Oh, one of the buddies that we hunt with now has us pick all them feathers for time flies.
Phil
Man, there's stone and there he is.
Johnny D
Look at that.
Martin
He's in overalls in every picture on here. I like my ass.
Phil
Yep.
Johnny D
I'll tell you, I could have wild
Stone
man hey my ancestors.
Phil
I don't sit down with him. Just talk to him.
Johnny D
Well, guess what? We're going to do it in the morning.
Martin
Are y' all going fishing together?
Johnny D
He's coming fishing with us in the morning. Oh, he's amazing. He does everything the old way. I mean everything.
Martin
He hand cars.
Phil
Look, he's got more knowledge in his little finger that we'll do it if we. We spent 100 years.
Johnny D
Oh I know it. I could have stayed there all day.
Phil
Oh no, I'm serious.
Johnny D
He built him a shop out back. Got. Got dirt floors. Got him a little breeze burns brought through it. He got a three year wait list on them duck calls. That's amazing.
Phil
You got to think about this. Think about a man in a. Oh, let's just say six foot Piero. Most of them nine. But some of them have six foot and hey. And he goes gator hunting okay. And comes back okay. With them tied to that 6 foot P roll. Some of them 20 foot long. Let's take. I'm serious. Think about that. And hey, all he shot him was was his 22 rifle.
Johnny D
Yeah, that's right.
Martin
Oh, that's crazy.
Phil
How much of men son that was back when that man was a man
Stone
and alligators were double the size.
Phil
Hey, I'm telling you. Oh hey. They used. They used to grown them so you got some of them when they put her.
Martin
I. I just went back on this guy by you beast calls on Instagram. Watch out. I had no idea I was coming.
Phil
I saw that coming.
Stone
Boy, I wanted to tell you where
Phil
there was still no time for you to one time.
Johnny D
Is that.
Phil
Is that him?
Martin
Johnny D. Yeah. Is that. I was. I was enthralled that I found this man with a picture of Phil with Phil from. Oh, I'm shook up. Really got me good. Anyway, look, he posted this about a year ago, but that's from way back in the day. Oh, he posted this. Yeah, right after Phil passed. But he had met Phil called up the Michael Jordan of the duck hunting community.
Johnny D
You know another cool story Dale. My dad's family is from Bucky right down the road from where Dale lives. And he, he knew my grandpa by name. But my grandpa's brother dug his pond in 1968. And Dale, when he was a little kid, he said that that man in that dozer waved me over here and I rode in his lap while he built my daddy's pond in 1968. It was my uncle running the dozer. So small world, Louisiana.
Martin
It gets even smaller.
Stone
Guaranteed.
Martin
What's this other picture you sent me, Stone?
Johnny D
Oh, there's the gar. Yeah, that you talking about? A gar snagged it in the tail.
Stone
I got him there.
Johnny D
Old Calca Shoe.
Phil
All right, here's the question. How big do they get?
Johnny D
That one there was about a five footer.
Phil
Well, no, no, but how big did he get?
Stone
A gator gar.
Johnny D
Oh, big, huge.
Stone
We shot. I made me stone. We shot one bigger than him.
Johnny D
Yeah, that one we shot with cap Goat.
Phil
I actually seen a commercial fisherman pull up and I didn't shoot him. 16 foot boat. He had 3 gar in it that he got out of his nets. Their head was hanging off the front of it and their tail was hanging off the back of the boat.
Stone
20 foot and 20 footer.
Phil
I don't know about that.
Martin
I got a friend who claims he knows fact, I got a friend who claims he knows where a 300 pound one is. And he I've.
Stone
He waiting for the rodeo. Yeah, yeah, he.
Martin
I've seen him with a 200 pounder.
Phil
I, I can. You can go to Red River Dixie, Louisiana and get on a rip rap. All it is is telephone poles drove in the bank.
Stone
You ain't got to anymore.
Phil
Well, I know, but there's over there
Stone
now you can lie.
Phil
Do it in the summertime and get on the rift out there in the river and watch. Wait and see what comes up. You'll see some of them. Well, that's 18 foot long. Guards come up top of water.
Stone
That's what's cool about them gar man. They're very susceptible to live scope now.
Phil
Oh no, you can pan over there
Stone
and look at him and you're like, oh, that's a big one.
Phil
Hey, they get huge. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Yeah, 16 foot boat. And hey, head hanging out the front, tail hanging out the back. And they had it tied down in three different places. It was about all a little bigger, about double the size of this round. Huge thing big.
Stone
The large dinosaur, the largest confirmed alligator gar. 327 pounds.
Phil
That's a grown one.
Johnny D
That's a gar.
Phil
That's a grown son that my Friend hit the button. Hey, that's a fish. Yeah, that's a garbage.
Johnny D
Yeah.
Stone
I got Garhold 8 foot long, but it takes them 50 to 100 years to get to 8 foot long.
Phil
Who years old?
Johnny D
100 year old
Phil
Mississippi full of.
Johnny D
How old was full of river?
Phil
Yeah.
Johnny D
Wash. 30 years old.
Stone
Yeah. I mean, by the math, they're older than me.
Johnny D
Yeah.
Martin
That's weird.
Johnny D
Crazy. That gar I got probably 30 years old.
Phil
Oh, yeah, at least. Maybe 50.
Stone
There are stories of even larger gar, but most aren't verified.
Phil
Oh, I don't know because I don't know what it was. When we fished 12 mile, 12 mile bow over by Dixie. There was something that was silver that would jump. Jump. When it got dark, they start jumping and typing. It looked like a tarpon all the way up. I'm serious. That's what it looked like.
Martin
Fresh water.
Johnny D
I saw one of those one day on the washta. It wasn't a gar. It shined like new money come out of the water.
Martin
It's just a shiner that finally made it.
Johnny D
It had giant scales.
Phil
No, no. That's what we saw when we was high school and we said troll line.
Johnny D
I saw it one time.
Stone
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Stone
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Martin
My computer has froze up. Strange.
Phil
I. I like to watch somebody Southern guy, Southern Mars fuel. You talking about move a P roll?
Johnny D
Oh, yeah.
Stone
You Go.
Phil
Oh, that sucker can yell. Stick y' all like a piece of cane.
Johnny D
Stand up in it.
Phil
Yeah, stand up and hey. And he'll go. Be out of sight for you. Believe it.
Martin
When'd you catch it? That was a couple years ago, wasn't it?
Stone
A long time ago. Yeah, probably.
Martin
There's Martin's.
Stone
Seven years ago.
Martin
My computer just froze up.
Phil
Hey. Oh, they got something bigger than that.
Stone
Oh, I know.
Phil
I caught him on that old shovel they got on it.
Stone
Caught him on a spinning rod.
Phil
I was fun.
Stone
That's like a drug me around all over the river, man.
Martin
I was trying to figure out a good Bible verse to end it on.
Stone
I was. I was sitting there on spot lock, and then I finally just took it off spot lock and said, you gonna tow me around? I ain't gonna sit here and fight you. You gonna tow me around. As I finally come up, I don't know how big he was.
Phil
I was like that 18 pound bass I snagged up on the corny lake.
Stone
No, it ain't like that. I got mine.
Phil
I wish I'd had a picture of the one I had.
Stone
I got proof of mine.
Phil
He took me two miles to the only piece of. But I get on the bottom of
Stone
that lake, I give you this. That spoon bill stunk.
Phil
Oh, no.
Stone
Whenever I had him in my hand,
Phil
I could believe how bad they stink on ice.
Stone
I wanted my picture with him. And then I was like, I got to get this stinking sucker off me. He stunk. Oh, that was about. Probably three miles upriver from Fields, a little sand point. I've been catching spotted bass. And then them suckers moved in, and there they were.
Phil
There's plenty. They're plentiful in Washtag River.
Stone
Oh, there's a bunch of them now. That. And you can scope them, too. Like, you can take live scope and look at them. I mean, there will be a school of like 500 of them. It is crazy where they get.
Phil
That's what surprised me when.
Martin
That's wild snagging this summer together, Martin.
Stone
Oh, you could do it. I try to avoid them. When I see it, I'm like, nope, I'm going the other way.
Martin
Yeah, normally. But, like, we should just set a day aside where we just go snack.
Stone
You want to know where you could go smash snagging, like. And I don't know what all you catch because there's everything lives there. The mouth of Shinny Creek.
Martin
Let's go.
Stone
There's big Asian carp. There's spoon bills, big gar. Like you could Just throw a three towel.
Phil
River's got some huge, huge like buffalo.
Stone
Yeah, you could throw some. You could, you could throw a couple of three tailed shrimp there where that creek hits a river and just. You'd be there all day.
Phil
Cause in Cyprus Cypress Creek they got
Stone
to get in the river.
Phil
Two buffalo that, hey, they probably weighed 100 pounds.
Stone
Wow.
Martin
Let's do it.
Stone
It's wild how much biomass is at the mouth of that creek. Let's go crazy.
Martin
Yank some of it up and then put it back because I don't.
Stone
Yeah. What are we going to do with it?
Martin
Smile for the photo.
Stone
We're taking your boat then because we're getting all that trash in your boat, not mine. But I'll go with you.
Martin
I'm gonna have to find somebody with a boat. We definitely ain't doing it.
Stone
Big Dave's boat, he'd be proud.
Martin
We ain't gonna get a 16 foot gar as he says is down there.
Stone
And don't worry, they don't live there
Martin
in a 14 foot kayak.
Phil
Yeah, they're there.
Martin
You want to talk about scary, go snag one in that joker. We're taking your boat.
Stone
Okay. I don't care.
Johnny D
Let's do it.
Martin
These people.
Stone
I ain't ever done it. I ain't ever intentionally snap. I. No.
Phil
I've only the biggest longer head turtle you ever saw.
Stone
Oh, what was that thing we caught? We caught them in college. You talking about alligator? Snapping turtle?
Phil
Yeah.
Stone
Big, big one? Yeah, we caught one. It was like 110, 120something.
Martin
I ain't messing with that guy.
Stone
We put a transmitter on him.
Phil
A guy caught one out of Caddo Lake. Bolted.
Stone
I don't know if it still works or not.
Phil
450 something pounds. He hooked a chain to his leg out in his yard and charged $5 a ride. Made a killer. Kids will come up there and get on that big old turtle's back.
Stone
Well, here's, here's what I'll say about alligator snapping turtles. They're like basically harmless as long don't touch the pointy end.
Phil
Yeah.
Stone
But like unlike.
Martin
Basically harmless until they bite your hand off.
Stone
But he can't move his head. He's so big he can't like turn around. As long as you don't go up, pet him on the nose, you're okay. Like you can grab him right behind the head and pick him up like this. He can't do nothing to you.
Phil
All he does, he'll try to get around, but he can't get around now
Stone
that common snapping turtle can turn that head around and bite himself on the tail. You don't want to do. You don't want a case of mistaken identity cuz you will get bit. I ain't messing with like but alligator, snapping turtle, no, he can't get you.
Johnny D
He see that old turtle guy he's been on been a while but old
Stone
turtle man, I think him, I think turtle man, yeah, I think him and
Martin
old mountain dogs good buddies I think they are.
Phil
Well they say there's seven different types meats on one. Ambiguous loggerheads.
Stone
I ain't got to worry about none of them.
Johnny D
Seven different types.
Martin
I'm out on that.
Stone
I ain't that hungry.
Phil
We snuck into a private lake and put out a trot line.
Martin
You trespassed.
Phil
Look, it looked like somebody had took wire cutters and right at the eye, right below the eye, just cut the hook off. 28 in a row. We thought this was on a private lake. We thought the guy that owned the lake had found a trot line and was being a butthole cutting our trot
Martin
line up, protecting his property.
Phil
Hey now we found out later when we got to where we was hung up, big old about 100 pound loggerhead turtle. And he had cut them hooks off, right? Get them in the conovers.
Martin
Every one of them.
Phil
28 in a row.
Stone
28 in a row.
Phil
28in a row.
Martin
Like yeah, you know what he got
Phil
it for his Trouble. He got a 22 rounds twice in his head. The glory of hey look, it took
Martin
Lord has created that many rounds for
Phil
that total, you included, it's an 36 bullets.
Martin
And he was still hissing on number 30.
Phil
He was still hissing. Just all we do was load it up again, put it to his head and pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. I said we're gonna stop at hissing. We'll break that hissing up.
Martin
I got a weird Bible verse to follow that hissing part up, but I was trying to find something about beavers in the Bible, but not a lot of North American beavers over there in the Middle east where most of the Bible takes place.
Stone
Yeah, not a lot of water.
Martin
But we have talked about a lot of wild and wacky creatures that the Lord has created. So Revelation 4:11. You are worthy our Lord and God to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things and by your will they were created and have their being.
Phil
And one of them, the greatest one is a duck. Bill Platypus.
Stone
That's a different show.
Phil
Look that through a quaint race in the machinery, boys.
Johnny D
Tune in next time for 40 minutes of duck Bill Platypus.
Phil
Oh, we're out.
Date: May 14, 2026
Hosts: Si Robertson, Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo
In this episode, the Duck Call Room crew dive headfirst into a wild viral news story about a beaver attack in New Jersey, sparking a cascade of hilarious Southern storytelling and deep-dive conversation about beavers, rabies, animal encounters, hunting, and good old-fashioned country know-how. The gang swaps tales about animal run-ins, trapping, culinary oddities, and rural ingenuity, blending irreverent humor with genuine expertise in outdoorsmanship.
[00:07–03:55]
The News Story: The guys react in real time to a viral video showing a rabid beaver attacking a family fishing at Lake Henry, New Jersey.
Humor & disbelief:
Biggest laughs: The group cackles at the kid in crocs and critiques attempts at fending off the beaver.
Life Lesson:
[03:55–16:35]
Beaver Problems on the Robertson Land:
Beaver Resilience:
[11:17–13:39]
[13:41–16:35]
[17:28–20:01]
[26:44–32:23]
[38:00–41:55]
[41:55–53:50]
[53:23–53:45]
Martin shares Revelation 4:11 to tie up a conversation about the diversity of God’s creatures:
Phil: “And one of them, the greatest one is a duck-bill platypus!” (53:45)
Stone: “That’s a different show.” (53:50)
Johnny D: “Tune in next time for 40 minutes of duck-bill platypus.” (53:58)
The episode ends with laughter.
Energetic, irreverent, and loaded with the outdoorsy wisdom and silliness one expects from the Duck Call Room, this episode takes a simple viral animal news story and transforms it into an uproarious, knowledge-packed tour of southern wildlife, family legends, and the unpredictable life of folks who live close to the land and the water. Through outlandish “Did you know?” moments, friendly ribbing, and stories that only get taller, the Duck Commanders make beaver attacks—and much more—hilarious and uniquely their own.