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Dufresne Ministries Podcast
Being The Spiritual Leader In Your Home | Stephen Dufresne | Men's Breakfast | World Harvest Church | Murrieta, CA
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Hi, I'm Grant Dufresne and welcome to Dufresne Ministries podcast channel. We believe that as you listen to this message, your faith will be stirred and you will be encouraged in whatever you are believing God for today. Stay tuned at the end of this message to find out more information about our ministry. Father, we worship you. We honor you, Father. Father, I thank you for these wonderful men that you have put into my life. And Father, I seek your utterance. I thank you, Father, for the Holy Ghost. Father, I thank you for your revelation that you will reveal to these men today and the revelation that you have revealed to me. And I thank you, Father, as we pursue your word and pursue righteousness, that things will come to pass for us in our lives and our families will be better for it, and we can serve you in a greater measure. I thank you for it, Father, in Jesus name. And everybody said, amen. Amen. I was thinking about this meeting a couple weeks ago. Any sermon I ever get is not something I came up with by myself. I don't just get in there and say, well, what would be good to preach? I say, father, what do you want me to preach? And anything I get, it comes alive inside of me. It comes alive and I start seeing it like I've never saw before. I've heard sermons preached by all other men. I say, boy, I'd love to preach that, but it's not inside of me and it's not real to me. And so in that I've. I've. I was asking God and it came up inside of me. Leader, or we would other say, the Bible would say head. Is that right? You got your Bibles? If you don't, I know you got a smartphone, you can look it up. I want you guys to follow along with me if you can. I don't want to take too much of your time, but I want to give you enough meat for you to have something to meditate on. Amen. Go to Ephesians 5. 22. Ephesians 5:22. And I've never really done a men's sermon. You know, anything I do is pretty much governed to a lot of people. But this was different. I was seeing things for myself in a different way. I was seeing things that I need to carry through for my family. And I know you will see these too. Are you guys there? In Ephesians 5. 22, the first one says wives. Is that what yours says? Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. A lot of men like this scripture. You need to submit Woman, you need to submit to me and do what I tell you to do. For the husband is what the head. The head of his family and of their lives. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. Let me say this and then we'll continue. Let's go to verse 25. Let's go to 25. Husbands, love your wives as the Christ also has loved the church and gave himself to her. This is what I heard in my spirit when I was thinking about the head. A lot of men think I can tell everybody what to do in my family because I'm the head. Well, that's true, but are you being the spiritual head of the family now? I would. I'm not trying to accuse anybody, but let's say this. Aren't a lot of women in their household the spiritual leaders in the home? Is that true? We see that quite a bit. Did you know that that's. You know why they're the spiritual leaders in your home? Because you won't be. Because you won't be. Because you're the head of the home. It is man's responsibility to bring the spiritual level in the home. It's not the wife's. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the wife has to bring the spiritual level. It's the man's job. Did you know that? If your wife is out doing you in the spiritual arena, something's wrong. Something's wrong. As men, it is our responsibility to qualify ourselves and to guide our families spiritually. Amen. There is something about a man being the head of his home. And for some reason, the status quo today has been the man has man cave. And I watch football and I relax and my wife takes the kids and goes to church. Is that kind of what we see today? It's kind of the status quo. Nowhere is this biblical or acceptable in the eyes of God. Or should it be for any godly man who should be getting up on Sunday mornings and pumping themselves up in the word of God? Tell me a man. Say a man. Me. Me. And we need to be getting up on Sunday morning and getting before God. But men aren't doing it. The women are. Amen. That's not being the head, is it? A big part of the Bible is being a spiritual leader in your home. Amen. Let's go down to verse 28. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. Let's go down to 31. And it says, for this reason. Is that what your church says? For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife. And what's that last part say? 2 shall become one flesh over the husband, though, is the head. Are y' all being helped so far? It is wrong that the status quo, that women are the spiritual warriors in our lives. It's absolutely wrong. Our wives should come to us and say, honey, what do we do? But it's the other way. She's having to pump us up. Is that right? I'm guilty of it, too. But that should be the other way around. The wife should go, honey, what should we do? And you say, we're believing God. We're not giving up. We're going to put God first in our lives. We're going to. Even though I don't feel like going to church, I'm going to pump myself up. I'm going to pump myself up in the word of God. Because your whole family is relying on you, you, you and you and you and you. Every single man in here. Because it's biblical. The man is the head or the leader of your family. And you determine their success, not them. You determine your child's spiritual development, not your wife. That's a shame that we have to let our wives. You take them to church. You take them to be spiritual leaders and warriors. I'm going to go watch football. It's wrong. It's wrong. Am I stepping on your feet this morning? It's all right. The word of God is correction. Every time you read the word of God, you can't correct it. And so I'm just putting the correction out there for all of us. Amen. Praise God. Proverbs 20:26. The word of God said on that last verse, it said that they will be joined together and they become one under the ruling of the husband. This is why we see women are coming to church and they are believing for a financial breakthrough, but they're not getting it because the husband refuses to go with it. And it's not the woman's fault. It's just like your kid, my son. Come here, Bobby. This young man is under my jurisdiction. He is underage to make quality decisions. And I am over this young man and my children. As the head of my home, I have a right to be over this young man. And this is the rule. Even with the wife, the ruling. When you made that covenant with your wife, she got absorbed into your spiritual growth, into your spiritual development. And her cap is your Cap. Even though she wants to go further. The man is the head. The Bible said it. God said, where's your husband? Where's your husband's faith? But I have faith, father. But you're not the head, he is. And it's an eye opening thing that we need to realize and say, my God, I really need to get my junk together. Amen. Proverbs 20, verse 6. Are you there? And it says here most men. Is that what yours says? Most men will proclaim each his own goodness. I'm good, I'm doing this. And he says, but who can find a faithful man who can find one? A faithful man. A faithful man. What is it about men that there's a great level of laziness? Wouldn't we say that? I mean with a lot of men there's a high level of laziness. There's a lot of broken stuff. I drive past tract homes, looks like they ain't trimmed the palm trees in three years. Why they're supposed to be out there doing that. The Bible talks about laziness and in today's society it's become acceptable, it's accepted. You know, I'm in my man cave and I'm watching football. And if you're not born again, I'm going to drink beer and sit here all day. And you know what? Church isn't for me. You know why church isn't for me? Because their value system's way off, man. Here's a couple things. What does a leader see? What does a leader. You are a leader. Whether you know it or not, you are a leader. Well, that's not my makeup. You better make it your makeup because you got people relying on you. Your family is relying on you to be the best man that you could be. What does a leader do? Number one, he sets the standard. He sets the standard for what's accepted and what's not accepted. What is talked about. What's not talked about. You set the standard for your children whether you know it or not. This 8 year old man is watching me. He's seeing what I'm doing. How come daddy don't go to church? Well, honey, Daddy is at home watching football. He's had a long week. That's what your wife has to tell your kids. Well, how come Daddy don't have to go? Well, honey, because he doesn't want to go. That's a shame. It should be the other way around. Men should be waking up on Sunday. Come on, let's go church. Come on, let's go church. But instead, most men aren't. But I know it's different in this church. Isn't that right? It's different here. It's different here. A leader sets the standard. In your home, you are a leader. Say, I am a leader. Let's go to first Timothy 3:2. First Timothy 3:2. A leader looks to where they're going, it looks to where they're going. Most men are just living day to day. They have no future given to the family. What are we believing for? What are we doing? They just go to work nine to five, they come home, sit on the couch, don't do anything, and they continue this their whole life. They have no direction, their family has no direction which way they're supposed to go. They don't know what they're all doing. This is just the way it's been. This is the way it's always been. This is the way my dad raised me. Just because your dad raised you that way don't mean it's right. With the word of God, you need to know where you're going and set the standard of where you're going. A leader resolves problems, not starts them. As the head of your home, you decide what you fight about. You decide what you get upset about. I take that for myself because as a man, sometimes we get upset. You know, nothing's working and isn't that true? And we can start a fight real quick, can't we? We've all done it. But a leader resolves them and says, even if you was wrong, what do you do? If you was wrong, I was wrong. But most men, their pride. Most men got this great pride. I'm a man. Yeah, but you're a stupid man. Just because you're a man doesn't make you a man. Just because you got. You're almost 6 foot tall, maybe you not almost 6 foot tall doesn't make you a man. A man is something that comes alive inside of you and has a great responsibility for where their family is going, what their family talks about, their spiritual development. A leader resolves problems. A leader sees the future. He looks into the future and sees it. That's what a leader does. You can't start a business with no vision. It's the same thing with a family. Isn't that right? You can't start a business with no vision. You have to have something to grab at the end and say, that's where we're headed. All these employees, you see, that's what we're headed. And that's the same thing. We need to be doing in our families as men. Amen. But you know what? There's also another protection about your spiritual life, about living a godly life. What's accepted, what's accepted, what is spoken in your home, what your children talk about, what you allow your children to do. Amen. It is very crucial that isn't it, right, that a man protect his family, not just physically, but in the development of a man or in the development of the family's spiritual development. Amen. A leader has a responsibility for what they value, what they value. That's very important, that as leadership you value the right things. A lot of men think, you know, what their greatest value is on things that don't matter. And I can let that happen in my own life. We can get wrapped up in our hobbies. We can get wrapped up in car restorations. We can get wrapped up in all this stuff. We can get wrapped up in our jobs. We can get wrapped up in all this stuff. But is it a value? Is it of value? We have to ask ourselves, is this of value? Should this take my number one place in my life? And if it doesn't have value, if it's a car, guess how many cars there are in the world? Probably more than there is people. Six billion cars. And this one is absorbed your life. Cars everywhere. Everybody's got a car. But I can't go to church because I got to work on this car. It's the only time I have to work on this car. But what about your children's development? Did you know it is the man's job to look out for his children's welfare about where they're going, about the God they serve, the way they see God, the way they respect the church and God. It's the man's job, not the woman's. And that's been put off on the woman, hasn't it? But it's not biblical. There's nowhere where it says woman's. You take all your kids to church and train them in the way they should go. It says husband and wives. Husband and wives. You train your children the way they should go. Amen. All right, you in there. In first Timothy. Yes, sir. It says a bishop or a leader then must be blameless. The husband of one wife. Temperate, temperate, sober minded, good behavior, hospitable, able to teach, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle. A lot of men think it's weak to be gentle. Not squabblesome, not covetous. One who rules his own house. Well, Having. Having. Whose? His? Did it say woman? His children in submission with all reverence. It is your job as a man to decide how your children are brought up. Your wife can help, but you set the standard, the way they go. Amen. If a man does not know how to rule his house, how will he ever take care of the house of God? Brother, we have got to change the way we see what is the wife's responsibility. Amen. Are y' all being helped? I'm just going to read out of Joshua 24:15, out of a different translation. And here he is speaking and says, if you decide that it's a bad thing to worship God. Most men believe it's a bad thing to worship God. It's just of no value. They believe it's of no value to worship God. Then choose a God that you'd rather serve and do it today. That's what Joshua was doing. Do it today. And most men are going, yeah, I'm going to the rod run. That's what I'm doing. But your wife and children are going to church. Choose one of the gods of your ancestors, worshiped from this country and. And beyond the river, or one of the gods from the Amorites of whose land they are now living. Now, we see this on placards, but, men, you need to take this as your own. As for me and my family, as for me and my family, we'll worship God. Will worship God. You decide. Say, I decide. Where your family goes spiritually, what they get into financially, who should be. If your child says, I'm not feeling good, what do you do? You go, honey, he says he's not feeling good, you go lay hands on him. Really? Whose job is that? That's a man's job. You're not feeling good, boy, come here. I'm gonna lay hands on you. Get over here. I'm gonna lay hands on you. Well, I'm nervous. Stop it. Stop being nervous to lay hands on your own child. Well, I don't feel like I've got the faith. That's the problem. And here comes your wife and jumps on your child. That should be the other way around. Amen. Who should be the first one that talks faith in the house? Say the man. The man. Me. We should be the first one to be laying hands on our family, to bringing the spiritual level to the family, to lay hands on the sick in our family and to set the example in our family. Matthew 13:44. And Jesus is telling an example here. And it's here. It's talking about Are you there in Matthew 13:44? And again, the kingdom of God is like treasure hidden in a field which a man found and hid for the joy over it. He goes and sells. He sells all that he has and buys the field. We can apply that to our lives and say he gets rid of his laziness. He turns off the stinking 50 inch flat screen because it's of no value. I'm not growing, I'm not doing anything. I'm just watching football and getting fat. Has no value. And we can apply that to our lives. He sells all that he has and goes and buys the field. And he buys. I'm going to put it this way, he buys. He gives up the TV for spiritual development because he notices as a leader, there's value. There's value in the word of God for me and my family. And church sometimes has become a past, it's become a burden. It's a past because all they want me to do is serve. And all they want me to do is this. And we have church so much of the week. I don't even have time to do faith because we're always at church and we're this and that's. Have we done that? I know I have, but it's not right. We need to see the value in the word of God and the value that not just for me, but for my family, buys the field again. The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls who when he had found one pearl of great price, he went and sold. He went and sold all that he had and bought it. We need to realize that the word of God, more precious than any football game, it's more precious than your hot rod. And if those things are more precious to you than the word of God, today you check yourself and realize that has no value to my children. It has no value to their spiritual growth. What is one of the greatest accomplishments a man can have in his old age? Well, back in 19, or let's say back in 2020, I used to have a hot rod, but we hit hard times and I had to sell it. Boy, I like that hot rod. Or do you want to say, you know what, I can look back at my life and say, my children today serve God and their families. Serve God. Is that not a greatest, a greater accomplishment than a stupid hot rod that you had to sell because you hit financial hard times and you. I didn't want to sell it. I didn't want to. But because the value system is way off, we have to value the right Things. Amen. I'm going to just say a couple more things and then we'll close. Yeah. Stephen, should I. Who should be the one encouraging the family that we are going to live godly lives? The man. Say the man. The man. This is what I was praying yesterday, and the Lord showed me this in the Bible. Who took people to the next big thing in the Bible? A man. You ever notice that? Let's start off with Noah. What did Noah do? He built an ark. For who? His family. Why did God save him? Because he honored God. And he said, because you've honored me, I'm going to save you and your family and I'm going to use you. A man. The Bible. God has used man from the beginning of time. And he's using us today to continue on making great new generations men. Abraham was the father of many children. He believed that God told him, you will have a son and you will have the greatest inheritance of any man. And your children will be that of the stars, that of the sand. There will be so many, you won't even count them. And he said, father, I believe. I believe. And then God took Isaac. What did he do? And they're going to go kill him. But Abraham said, this is a man. He believed the wife. Remember, she doubted. And he got on board a little bit and doubted a little bit, too. But he got himself straightened out and said, no, that's wrong. God told me, I'm going to have a son. Took his son up to be killed. And. And he said, where are we going? We're going to make a sacrifice, but we don't have a sacrifice. And the son said. And then what did he say? God will provide. Most men aren't saying that in their lives. They're going, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? What are we going to do? This is unbiblical and unscriptural. You should shut your mouth, go in your closet, gather yourself, put your face in the Bible and say, this is what we're believing. He said, God will provide. And because he did that, God used him in a mighty way. Amen. What about Joseph being sold into slavery, Being sold as a slave? But he said, God is good and God put him in the highest place and one of the highest places in the house. He got thrown in prison. And. And when he was in a bad place, what did he do? Worshiped God. Just because you're in a bad place doesn't mean that God left you. Don't mean that God left you. You're Just being a baby because you want a good life. And if I work for the union, if I can get these good jobs, then you know what? We're going to have a good life. Amen. Not if your children are lost. That's our jobs to bring that spiritual level. Amen. And Joseph ended up in being the ruler of the greatest nation in the world at that time because he served God about Moses. Moses was a man, and God called him and said, you're going to serve me these people, and we're going to bring them out of slavery. He was a man that followed God and did what God said. Amen. What about Joshua? Joshua saw where Moses messed up and he said, we're not repeating that. We're not repeating it. And we're going to go into the land that was promised to us and we're going to take it. Great men of God have great faith. Well, I'm not a preacher like you, brother Stephen. It doesn't matter. You're the pastor of your church or your home. You're the minister in your household. Well, I don't know. What did the pastor say about that? How about you getting the word of God yourself and figure out what the word of God says? You have enough word in you. You've been here long enough. You know what to do. Amen. And Joshua. And they took a nation back that belonged to him. What about David? He kills the giant as a young boy, becomes a great leader. What about Daniel? In the lion's den, there was another man of faith. When he got put in a bad place, he said, I'm serving God. These lions ain't going to eat me because God's on my side. What about John the Baptist? Amen. John the Baptist told about the Savior coming. What about Peter that followed Jesus? The Bible says he was out doing fishing and Jesus came and said, follow me. And it says immediately he dropped all that he had and follow Jesus. Why? Because he saw the value. He saw the value in the word of God. He saw the value in Jesus. He went to a place where his financial prosperity was unknown, but he didn't care because he saw the value. Every single one of these men have seen the value that God will bring their lives. The value men don't ever say, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know where we're going to get the money. This is the worst thing a faith man can say, what do I do? What do I do? But, but, but your wife encourages you. Go, yeah, but you might as well throw cancer on it. Cancer on your finances, cancer on your race. Yeah, but no, you're the leader. You're the leader. You decide what's said and what's not said. Amen. Paul on the road. And Jesus appeared to him, why do you kill my people? And he was blind. And immediately he started preaching the word of God. Here was a great man that wrote a good part of the New Testament and told us how to live by faith. He was a great man of God. And you know what he did? This man killed a lot of Christians. But he didn't hold the guilt and the condemnation of killing those men. Is that right? He let it go and said, I refuse to think about what I've done, but what I'm going to do will be great. Just because you've messed up in your life doesn't mean you can't have that all God has for you. Just because you've made some bad decisions doesn't mean that you can't get right with God and say, father, forgive me. I repent. Repent. Ask God to forgive you and move forward. Don't let condemnation sit on you and beat you down every day of your life. You be a leader. A leader doesn't have time to get down on himself. Come on. Because if you're not the leader, the devil comes in and he's the leader of your home after that. And then we have our Savior. Jesus came to be a man to pay the price for all mankind for the sin that used to be on here. That you and me can live a godly life. Amen. Have you been helped today? I don't know about you, but doing this, I've really saw some different things that I need to do for myself. Amen. And I know you have too. Amen. Well, go ahead and stand with me. Father, we thank you. You are so good. Father. Today is a new day for these men. It's a new day for me. Just put your hands up real quick. And Father, we thank you for this new day. And Father, we will fulfill as being the head and the leader of our family. We declare today is a new day for my family. It's a new day for me. As the man of my house, we will serve you. And I thank you, Father, that we will train our children to serve you in a mighty way in Jesus name. And we will govern our wives. And Father, we will govern our finances through the word of God in Jesus mighty name. Amen. I love you, man. You guys are wonderful. We are growing in the things of God. Did you guys enjoy today? We trust you've enjoyed this message. 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