Ask, Tell, Confess: Bagpipers and Bean Biters

Summary

Podcast Title: Dumb Blonde
Host/Author: Dumb Blonde Productions
Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: Bagpipers and Bean Biters
Release Date: January 31, 2025

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Episode Overview

In the episode titled "Ask, Tell, Confess: Bagpipers and Bean Biters," hosted by Dumb Blonde Productions, Bunnie XO delves into a blend of heartfelt stories, humorous confessions, and engaging discussions. The episode seamlessly weaves together tales of emotional performances, unexpected mishaps, and personal revelations, all delivered with the signature comedic flair that Dumb Blonde is known for. Listeners are treated to a week of laughter, relatability, and introspection as the hosts navigate through various life experiences and questions.

---

1. Ask: Exploring Attachment Styles

Timestamp: [17:26] - [19:58]

The episode kicks off with a thoughtful exploration of attachment styles, a cornerstone concept in understanding personal relationships and emotional bonds. The hosts, Charlene, Jason, and Sama, share their perspectives and personal insights into their own attachment styles, sparking a meaningful conversation about connection and dependency.

• Sama initiates the discussion by posing a question to the group:
  "[17:26] Sama: This is for all of us. What's our view on attachment styles? And have you read up on your own attachment style?"

• Charlene reflects on her tendencies, suspecting an avoidant attachment style:
  "[17:38] Charlene: I mean, I kind of know what it is. I. I think I have an avoidant attachment style."

• Jason admits a lack of understanding but expresses interest in the topic:
  "[17:48] Jason: I read that one too. Almost chose that. Nice. Nice. I don't know what that is."

The conversation delves into how these styles affect their interactions and relationships, highlighting the importance of self-awareness in fostering healthier connections.

---

2. Tell: The Emotional Bagpiper Story

Timestamp: [10:47] - [17:04]

In the "Tell" segment, Charlene shares a poignant story from her experience as a bagpiper, illustrating the profound emotional impact music can have on individuals.

• Charlene recounts her performance at a graveside service:
  "[10:47] Charlene: Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends... I took an hour longer to arrive, and the vault was already in place."

• As she begins to play "Amazing Grace," the atmosphere shifts dramatically:
  "[12:22] Jason: Stop it right then, What?"
  "[12:29] Charlene: He thought it was a coffin, but it was a septic tank."

Her heartfelt performance moves the workers to tears, showcasing how music serves as a powerful medium for expressing sorrow and solidarity.

Notable Quote:
[12:22] Jason: Stop it right then, What?

---

3. Confess: Personal Mishaps and Revelations

Timestamp: [14:40] - [22:57]

The "Confess" segment is a space for the hosts to share personal stories and confessions, ranging from awkward encounters to unexpected challenges.

• Jason opens up about a traumatic experience involving a partner:
  "[14:40] Jason: I was hooking up with this guy. He went down on me and bit me. I spent the weekend in the hospital after having to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding because he popped a blood vessel. He was arrested while I was in surgery, and it's been almost a year, and I still don't have total feeling back in my area down there."

• Charlene empathizes and shares her own embarrassing moment:
  "[21:35] Charlene: I was so drunk the night before, and I woke up and I drank from a bottle I thought was water, but it was the one I spit in last night."

These confessions reveal the hosts' vulnerabilities, fostering a sense of authenticity and connection with the audience.

Notable Quotes:
[14:40] Jason: I was arrested while I was in surgery, and it's been almost a year, and I still don't have total feeling back in my area down there.
[21:35] Charlene: I caught a foul taste like I swallowed an oyster. This was terrible.

---

4. Listener Story: Puppy Puke Mishap

Timestamp: [20:11] - [21:49]

A humorous voicemail from a listener adds levity to the episode. The story revolves around a new puppy causing unexpected chaos in the hosts' household.

• Listener's Story:
  "[20:21] Listener: We got a new puppy, and the puppy puked in the bed... My wife cleaned it up, but while making passionate love, I grabbed the towel and realized it's the one used to clean the puke up. Now she's got puke all over her."

• Charlene reacts with amusement and empathy:
  "[21:35] Charlene: That's hilarious. I love him. Whoever that is. I love him."

The story not only provides comedic relief but also highlights the unpredictable joys and challenges of pet ownership.

---

5. Additional Highlights and Banter

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in playful banter and humorous exchanges that add to the overall entertainment value.

• Sama shares a vivid account of cleaning an excessively messy hotel room:
  "[05:37] Jason: Yep, facts."
  "[05:59] Charlene: Oh yeah, I read this one."
  "[06:07] Charlene: Was it a traffic also I hope."

• Jason discusses quirky "icks" in relationships, referencing humorous scenarios:
  "[19:09] Jason: Have you guys seen the, like, the list of icks? Right? And the guy is, like, in. Like, he's snorkeling or something."

These interactions underscore the hosts' chemistry and ability to blend humor with genuine conversation.

Notable Quote:
[19:09] Jason: Have you guys seen the, like, the list of icks? Right? And the guy is, like, in. Like, he's snorkeling or something.

---

Conclusion

"Ask, Tell, Confess: Bagpipers and Bean Biters" is a dynamic episode that masterfully balances emotional depth with comedic moments. From heartfelt performances that move listeners to shared confessions that resonate on a personal level, Dumb Blonde Productions delivers an engaging and relatable listening experience. Whether it's exploring the intricacies of attachment styles or laughing over unexpected pet mishaps, this episode invites audiences to laugh, relate, and embrace the realness of life’s ups and downs.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

1. "[17:26] Sama: This is for all of us. What's our view on attachment styles? And have you read up on your own attachment style?"

2. "[12:22] Jason: Stop it right then, What?"

3. "[14:40] Jason: I was arrested while I was in surgery, and it's been almost a year, and I still don't have total feeling back in my area down there."

4. "[21:35] Charlene: I caught a foul taste like I swallowed an oyster. This was terrible."

5. "[19:09] Jason: Have you guys seen the, like, the list of icks? Right? And the guy is, like, in. Like, he's snorkeling or something."

---

Note: The summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the provided instructions, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and stories shared during the episode.

Transcript

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[Bunny]

Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the Deforts. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding.

[Charlene]

And not to mention, we have the.

[Bunny]

Visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumblon Pod and sign up Ask Tell Confess.

[Charlene]

Tell Confess.

[Jason]

Ask Token Fest.

[Charlene]

Hello, everybody. Welcome to.

[Jason]

Never Get Old. That's literally my favorite thing. I prepare for that.

[Sama]

I never know what's coming each day ever something different.

[Charlene]

I don't either. I do it in the moment. I'm just. It's just a freestyle, a free for all. Well, I am not feeling great today. I've been taking iron supplements, trying to get my Ferritin levels up, ladies. And let me tell you, it's been a battle. It is not fun. Let me tell you. Excuse me, Jason, BLEEP that, too. Please make wind chime sounds come out. No, it's bad. Your girl's struggling over here. And we had to film a podcast today, too. I'm like, having hot flashes. My keep. Okay, I give up.

[Jason]

It's the dial. It's the little turny thingy. It won't turn below that. Oh, that thing.

[Charlene]

Oh, hello. Still not. It's turned.

[Jason]

What did you do to it? Oh, why are you doing that?

[Charlene]

There we go.

[Jason]

Don't do that.

[Charlene]

Hello.

[Jason]

Don't ever do that.

[Charlene]

Okay. Hi. We're back.

[Bunny]

Anyways, please leave that in there.

[Charlene]

Hi, friends. Please. Chachi, get over here. Come on, man.

[Sama]

I've been roaming around.

[Charlene]

I was looking down and what I see?

[Bunny]

Painted faces.

[Charlene]

You know, that I could use somebody good.

[Jason]

That wasn't planned.

[Charlene]

That was a good one.

[Sama]

It was good.

[Charlene]

All right, who's gonna kick this off? Ask. Talking fast, you guys.

[Sama]

Me. Because I don't want anyone to take this story.

[Charlene]

You took the story. I'm going to. I was going to tell. Didn't you?

[Sama]

Does it start with so?

[Charlene]

I don't know.

[Jason]

Hold on.

[Charlene]

I got to look. Hold on, hold on. I'll tell you right now if it does. Hold, please. Hold on. Good old Charlene. No, I'm just saying good old Charlene.

[Jason]

Y'all can't beat me this week, Sama.

[Charlene]

Oh, no, no. You can't beat me this week.

[Jason]

Oh, okay.

[Charlene]

Challenge accepted. Okay.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Charlene]

You know what, though? I love that Askel Confess has inspired so many other people to do little segments. I've seen pretty big creators copying what we're doing. Yeah. And smaller creators. I love it, though. It's awesome.

[Jason]

We started a trend, guys.

[Charlene]

I love that. We've always done that, though. We never get our Flowers. But we are always the OGs.

[Jason]

Yes, facts.

[Charlene]

And I will stand on that stand.

[Sama]

Hello. Okay. Charlene said show. I work at a hotel about a three star hotel. Nothing too fancy, but not gross either. I'm a housekeeper. And girls, let me tell you what these people leave. This one room left their play toys.

[Charlene]

Oh yeah, I read this one.

[Jason]

I did not.

[Sama]

Stocking a dildo bigger than your face and a booty plug about the size of your fist. And condoms.

[Charlene]

Was it a traffic also I hope.

[Sama]

Our rule is we have to keep items that the guest leaves for three months in a box in the back room. Those sit back there for three months, then finally was able to throw it away. The absolute worst room I had to clean. I'd like for you to make your own assumption on what the use was for. I walk into the room and the floor is kind of slippery. There's a nasty smell in the air. And I'm thinking the toilet's clogged. I walk to the bed, pull the blanket back and see two 20 ounce soda bottles coated in this white stuff. Not open, liquid still in seal not broken. There's a banana unpeeled with the same white stuff. Also two hangers were broken and coated in this white stuff. Also our white sheets now smeared in brown smelly stuff. Now I gotta go back and get a second pair of gloves to put on and get a trash bag to come pull the blanket farther back. There's more bananas unpeeled in a can of cooking crisco oil gone. I end up throwing all the sheets and blanket away. I go to the bathroom. The door handle is coated in the crisco cooking oil. Also the shower hat is detachable because it's handicap room. And the shower head and handles were also coated in crisco oil. I clean out the fridge and freezer. There's another can of oil in the freezer. This person, male, paid cash for the room. So you had to leave a cleaning deposit that you get back when you check out if nothing's wrong. And he never came to get the money back. So what do you think was happening in that room?

[Charlene]

I mean obviously it was a but bongo fiesta. They were just having a. What did you say? They were just having a fucking bongo fiesta. Yeah, they were having a fudgeing grand old time bottles. I have done some weird shit in hotel rooms that didn't even phase me. Okay.

[Jason]

I'm over here the whole time going, Chris.

[Charlene]

So this one time I was with and we were in it, made it in into A paparazzi newspaper. I have it or not newspaper. A magazine was there. Like, everybody was there. We were all partying. Holly Madison was there. Criss angel was there. Like, it was a lot of people in this room. They had this huge shower that, like. I don't know why the Palms had this huge ass shower in the suite, but they did. It was probably half the size of this room. Like, it was a huge shower. The band members took bottles of, like, baby oil and put it all over the walls, all on the floor in this bathroom. And, like, girls were in there just slip and sliding naked. Like, it was hilarious. So, I mean, you could have a fucking party with some Crisco, too. It's the same concept, you know? And then maybe coat hangers. We grew up very different. Yeah.

[Jason]

I feel like maybe something got stuck and they used the coat hangers to try to get it out.

[Charlene]

Yeah. Like a turd or something.

[Sama]

What's the white stuff?

[Charlene]

Crisco. Yeah.

[Sama]

Okay.

[Charlene]

Okay.

[Jason]

Yeah. When it dries, it's all white.

[Charlene]

And Crisco's white.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Sama]

Poor bananas.

[Charlene]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Oh, what if that got stuck? Because, you know, once it mushes. Yeah, there's not.

[Charlene]

And that can be why the toilet was clogged.

[Jason]

Getting it out.

[Sama]

You shit out bananas.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Sama]

Oh, I could not. I could not work. I could not work at.

[Charlene]

No, you couldn't pay me enough. I wouldn't clean that.

[Sama]

I would quit my job.

[Charlene]

This is a fudgeing health hazard.

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[Charlene]

All right, you guys ready? Yes. God, I got some good ones. I don't know which one to do first as a bag. As a bag piper, I play many gigs. Okay. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper cemetery in the Kentucky backcountry. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. And being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and the crew left, and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave, looked down, and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do.

[Bunny]

So I started to play.

[Charlene]

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I never played before for this homeless man. And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept. I wept. We all wept. When I. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low and my heart was full. As I was opening my door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, sweet mother of Jesus, I've never seen nothing like that before. And I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years.

[Jason]

Stop it right the Now What?

[Charlene]

He thought it was a coffin, but it was a septic tank.

[Sama]

Was it in the graveyard?

[Charlene]

It was. They had dug a hole to put the septic tank in, and the dude thought it was the homeless man's grave site.

[Sama]

Stop.

[Charlene]

Why did they cry? Have you ever heard bagpipes play? They will evoke emotion. Dude, man.

[Jason]

When we went on our family vacation recently, someone just started playing him outside of our hotel to the sunset. He was just in shorts playing the bagpipes. It's emotional. Yeah.

[Charlene]

Okay.

[Sama]

All right. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

You've clearly never heard that.

[Charlene]

You, you know what? We need to. We're hiring a bagpiper.

[Jason]

Her birthday this year, you're going to get woken up with a bagpiper.

[Sama]

I'm changing the lot code.

[Jason]

No, no.

[Charlene]

Oh, I, I, we're going to surprise.

[Jason]

You for a week straight. He's going to be in your car?

[Charlene]

Yeah, just in the back seat.

[Sama]

Oh, my God. I would never talk to you guys again.

[Charlene]

Could you imagine?

[Sama]

Never talk to you guys again.

[Charlene]

All right.

[Sama]

I'm waking up early on my birthday this year. I'M gonna be like, I'm waiting.

[Jason]

Oh, you think we're gonna do it on the actual birthday?

[Charlene]

No, it's gonna be fun here.

[Jason]

Sadly, it's gonna be, like.

[Charlene]

For, like, a quinceanera.

[Jason]

I was in raising canes the other day, and she had a quinceanera in raising canes.

[Charlene]

It's fire.

[Jason]

Olivia goes, what a queen says Close. Yeah, close.

[Charlene]

I love that.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Sama]

I would have done if I had one.

[Jason]

Little jealous.

[Charlene]

Listen, your parents are doing it, right? If you're having a quinceanetta at. At raising canes.

[Jason]

At raising canes. It was great.

[Charlene]

Anybody else having hot flashes? Because I am.

[Jason]

No.

[Sama]

Kind of cold over here.

[Jason]

Perfect.

[Sama]

I like your hoodie.

[Charlene]

Hey.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Charlene]

Cute.

[Sama]

What is.

[Jason]

What is that?

[Charlene]

It's like. It's my Laverne and Shirley patch.

[Sama]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

I know. You should definitely go on Tick Tock and just post it.

[Charlene]

Well, it's got 500, 000 views. I feel like we should drop them early.

[Jason]

They're not made. Those were samples.

[Charlene]

Put them on back orders.

[Jason]

She texts me and she goes, everyone loves these. I said, what? Go on Tick Tock. She already unpackaged them. Put them on Tick Tock.

[Charlene]

Nobody told me I couldn't.

[Sama]

I said, okay, I saw that comment. You're like, oh, we're just going to.

[Jason]

Share secrets, all right. I can't say this person's name. I was hooking up with this guy. He went down on me and he bit my. I spent the weekend in the hospital after having to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding because he popped a blood vessel. He was arrested while I was in surgery, and it's been almost a year, and I still don't have total feeling back in my area down there.

[Charlene]

Why the fudge would he do that? Was he being mean, or did he think he was being sexy? Was it like a.

[Jason]

The fact that he was arrested? I feel like it was maybe mean. I feel like it was maybe a grappling hard.

[Sama]

You have to bite.

[Charlene]

Oh, I couldn't imagine. My fucking pussy just tied itself in a knot. Like, there's no fudgeing.

[Sama]

Mine just got up and left.

[Charlene]

Mine's inverted. Okay. It is fucking. It's literally just skin now. I don't even have a Barbie doll. God. Yeah. Literally. Yeah.

[Sama]

Yep.

[Jason]

That one was short. Sweet. To the point. I appreciate you for sharing that.

[Sama]

Sweet about that.

[Charlene]

Wow, that's rough. I feel sorry for you, dude. I know how many nerves you have in your Dude.

[Jason]

And now she doesn't have the feeling back.

[Charlene]

I'd Fight a dude. That's all we got is that little bean, man.

[Jason]

That's all we got.

[Charlene]

That's all we got. That's the magic bean, man. What is that? Fairy tale? Jimmy and the Beanstalk.

[Jason]

Okay, but also, how do you.

[Charlene]

Right. What is it called? No, what is it called? James of the Giant. No, that's James.

[Jason]

Oh, what is it?

[Charlene]

You know, Jack in the Beanstalk. Dude, don't be. Yeah, Jack clearly up the beanstalk. That is terrible, dude. God.

[Jason]

How do you fix that?

[Charlene]

How do you.

[Jason]

She probably.

[Charlene]

I don't know. I don't know. Ptsd, bro. Like, that's rough.

[Jason]

That's so sad. I feel really.

[Charlene]

I'm so sorry for you, whoever you are, man. That's. My prayers are with you. Thoughts and prayers.

[Jason]

Rip your God. Yeah, that was mine.

[Charlene]

That's the one you thought was gonna beat my bagpipes?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Charlene]

No. Bye. Bye. No, not at all.

[Jason]

You got your other one.

[Charlene]

I gotta. I got two hammers.

[Sama]

Oh, I have one.

[Jason]

Next one.

[Sama]

Oh, one's a question.

[Charlene]

Okay.

[Jason]

Yeah, do a question.

[Sama]

More serious.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Sama]

This is for all of us. What's our view on attachment styles? And have you read up on your own attachment style?

[Jason]

I read that one too. Almost chose that. Nice. Nice. I don't know what that is.

[Charlene]

I mean, I kind of know what it is. I. I think I have an avoidant attachment style. Attachment style. You would probably have an avoidant attachment style too.

[Sama]

I'm avoidant meaning.

[Jason]

What is?

[Charlene]

You are fucking codependent and fudgeing very attached to people. But the problem is ye. Once they love you back then only like two people. Well, the two that I've seen you have been a cling on with the two.

[Jason]

Oh, I thought we were talking about just me.

[Charlene]

No, I'm talking about. And who was the other one? There was one more. I forget. But you were like. And just would not be without them.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Charlene]

Who. God. Who's the other one? There was one more. I can't think of it. Right. Oh. What? We'll have to get back on that one. I forget there was another one.

[Jason]

Different.

[Charlene]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Sama]

Now. So bad.

[Jason]

Yeah. Oh, dude.

[Sama]

I crown him so bad.

[Jason]

It's bad.

[Charlene]

Well, I mean, he kind of ruined it for himself.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Sama]

Is the water gun.

[Charlene]

It'll. It just takes one thing for a guy. One thing. A man can put you through hell.

[Jason]

Yep.

[Charlene]

And you literally will tolerate it. Tolerate it. And then they do one like, weird hand movement or like. I don't even know. Yeah. And that's it. It's over with.

[Jason]

Have you guys seen the, like, the list of icks? Right? And the guy is, like, in. Like, he's snorkeling or something.

[Sama]

He's like, don't snorkel.

[Jason]

The little toes are under the water trying to keep him afloat. And I was like, oh, yeah.

[Sama]

Or the guy that was, like, bouncing on trampolines and his feet, when he.

[Charlene]

Bounced, was like, no, no, you can't do that.

[Jason]

Or when they wrap their toes around a, like, chair rail.

[Charlene]

I can't do it. I can't do it. But as far as attachment styles, I do think there's truth to them. I don't know enough to, like, preach on them, though. Never. Yeah.

[Jason]

Is there a test we can take?

[Charlene]

There is. There's a bunch of things I feel like I've tested for everything else but that.

[Jason]

Let's all take the test.

[Charlene]

Yeah, we'll take. We'll get back to you on that. Is definitely not avoidant attachment.

[Unknown]

No, mine is. Touch me. Like.

[Charlene]

Yeah, I like.

[Unknown]

I want to touch, Like, I attach and want to touch you and hug you and kiss you and smother you.

[Charlene]

Yeah, that's my thing. We like that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Wow.

[Unknown]

That's what I do.

[Jason]

Let's listen to a voicemail. It's only one minute long. Thank God I made sure to tell everyone. One minute short. And sweet.

[Charlene]

Short and sweet. Baby. Yes.

[Unknown]

I just wanted to call in and tell a story that happened to me and my wife the other day. It was the other morning, actually. So we got a new puppy, and the puppy, it puked in the bed. And then my wife cleaned it up in the middle of the night, which is great and fine. Well, then the next morning, we made very passionate love. It was great and amazing. And then after we were done, I went and got at the towel to clean everything up, which I didn't know what my wife used to clean the puke up with. So I just grabbed the first towel I saw and went back. There's my wife still just sitting there in a birthday suit. And then so, like, she's cleaning herself up and all that kind of good stuff. And then I saw, like, little, like, pieces and, like, chunks coming out. And then it clicked. She's using the towel that we cleaned the puke up with, so now she's got puke on her from the dog. And then, like, I asked, and she's like, where'd you get that towel? I got it in the bathroom. And then she clicked to her. And then I was like, yeah, I think you need to go Get a shower now.

[Charlene]

But.

[Unknown]

Yep, that's it. Thank you.

[Charlene]

That's hilarious. I love him. Whoever that is. I love him. God, he's awesome. He said that's it. Thank you.

[Jason]

The chunks.

[Charlene]

I would throw up, you guys.

[Jason]

That is so disgusting.

[Sama]

I would throw up.

[Jason]

Yeah, not puppy puke.

[Charlene]

Puppy puke's the worst.

[Jason]

That was a good one. That was a good story.

[Charlene]

Oh, that was really good. It was really good. I actually had a situation where one time I was like. You know, like, when you're laying in bed and all, you know, you're waking up and you're discombobulated or whatever. I was so drunk the night before, and I woke up and I was so parched, like, I just needed water terribly, right? So I reach next and get a water bottle. And this is before I was doing the crack thing. And I go and I drink, and when I swallow, I feel like a big ass, just slimy. Something go down my throat. And when I did it, my ex was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's the fucking bottle that I spit a loogie in last night. Yeah. This was terrible. Imagine how I felt, bitches. It was fucking rough.

[Jason]

I'm gonna throw up.

[Charlene]

Yeah, it was bad. It tasted like I swallowed an oyster. It was so bad.

[Jason]

That was the worst story ever.

[Charlene]

Yeah, I just had to share. Just had to share. Yeah, I've got more where that came from.

[Jason]

Let's end it. We're done. I'm. Guys, I'm done.

[Charlene]

We'll see you guys next week. Bye.