Ask, Tell, Confess: Best of Closet Poops & Bedtime Lies

Summary

---

Dumb Blonde Podcast: "Ask, Tell, Confess: Best of Closet Poops & Bedtime Lies"

Host: Bunnie XO
Date: September 5, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Dumb Blonde dives deep into hilarious, awkward, and candid listener confessions as part of the "Ask, Tell, Confess" segment. Bunnie XO, along with regulars Haley, Jay, Jaime, and Memes, react to jaw-dropping stories about embarrassing bodily incidents, relationship confessions, and wild moments. The group also tackles questions about women's sexuality and health, providing a blend of both laughter and insight, all in their trademark unfiltered style.

---

Key Discussion Points & Standout Segments

1. Reunion Vibes and Australian Tour Teaser

[04:41–05:31]

• The group opens with friendly banter about missing each other and accidentally leaking Jay’s Australian tour plans.
• Quote:
  • Jay: “When we do, you guys better sell it out, okay? Sell that motherfucker out, because we're coming, baby.” [05:19]

---

2. Infamous Poop Stories: “Closet, Closet, Covered In…”

[05:45–08:14]

• Memes shares a shocking tale: after a drunken night, a friend’s boyfriend is discovered passed out in a closet, covered in feces—and denies it.
• The story escalates when a belt soiled in the incident is nearly touched by Memes days later.
• Quote:
  • “She said she woke up around 5 in the morning to him passed out in her closet, covered in… Closet, closet, covered in. And it all over her clothes… He got up...and said, ‘it wasn’t me’ and just walked out and left.” — Memes [05:55]

Group Reactions

• General disbelief and disgust, sharing personal limits with alcohol-related accidents.
• Discussion of whether being that drunk is even possible—and what could prompt it.

---

3. Cleaning Catastrophes: The “Monkey Enclosure”

[08:14–09:11]

• Jaime describes the worst hotel room she ever cleaned: feces smeared from the front door, up the stairs, and into the rooms, left by a supposedly respectable professor after a rager.
• Quote:
  • “It looked like a monkey enclosure. Like, it was nuts.” — Jaime [08:50]

---

4. Woman’s Orgasm Realness: “Faking It, Learning Your Body, and O Faces”

[12:53–16:22]

• A listener asks why it’s so hard for her to have an orgasm.

  • Jay and Haley discuss the importance of clitoral stimulation, the prevalence of faking it, and not blaming partners unnecessarily.
  • Honest admissions about personal experiences.
  • Quote:
    • “You have to have clitoral stimulation a lot of the time… so don’t feel bad because your husband's not making you orgasm. There's a lot of women who do not orgasm with men.” — Jay [13:13]
    • “I am the best at faking orgasms. I will make a man feel 10ft tall.” — Jay [14:54]

• Haley calls for bringing in a sex expert, which the group agrees would be a great idea.

Memorable Moment

• Jaime explains “the vinegar stroke,” describing a stereotypical O-face:
  • "You pretend you have a spoon of vinegar and then hold it up under your nose." — Jaime [16:06]
• Jay counters: “No, my orgasm face is way hotter. I’ve practiced.” [16:16]

---

5. Haley’s Graveyard Selfie Story

[16:39–21:09]

• Haley tells a story about her daughter Olivia taking a selfie with a freshly-dug grave, which her family found hilarious and endearing rather than morbid.
• Group reflects on the innocence of children finding humor in odd places.

---

6. Wild Sex Confessions: Feet, Toes, and Wiffle Ball Bats

[21:31–31:45]

• Listener confesses about a partner’s foot fetish: using his toe to stimulate her, which the group finds baffling and unappealing.

  • Quote:
    • Jay: “Come on, you guys. Don’t just get freaky and want to shove your own toe in there?” [21:55]
    • “Not someone else’s toe.” — Haley [22:06]

• Story escalates to a listener’s anecdote about her husband using a wiffle ball bat (yes, really!) on his ex, sparking debate on logistics and judgement:

  • Quote:
    • “He her with a wiffle ball bat. Yep. It was consensual. I’ve always found the story hilarious, especially the way my husband tells it.” — Bunny [29:09]
    • “Whose pussy hole is that big? Dude, was it a new one?” — Jay [29:52]

---

7. Women’s Health: Hysterectomies, Ablations, and Listener Advice

[23:42–26:32]

• Listener asks for advice about hysterectomy due to terrible periods.
• Jay and Haley discuss alternative procedures (ablation, partial hysterectomy), advocate for women’s self-advocacy and push back against medical gatekeeping.
• Quote:
  • “Whatever you want to do for your body, you need to advocate for.” — Jay [24:53]
  • “Women who have good uteruses. You guys are so lucky.” — Jay [26:32]

---

8. Relationship Red Flag: Gender Accusation

[27:07–28:47]

• Listener confesses being accused by her husband of being “born a man” due only to physical features, despite proof to the contrary.
• Group unequivocally labels this as emotional abuse and urges her to leave.
• Quote:
  • “First of all, ma’am, that’s not a victim mentality. What your husband did to you was abusive.” — Jay [27:44]
  • “That is abuse.” — Haley [27:44]

---

9. Disturbing Restaurant/Strip Club Confession

[31:47–33:41]

• Listener details working at a Hardee’s run by her heroin-dealer boss who also owns a strip club. Describes rampant food contamination and shocking lack of hygiene.
• Group expresses horror—urges listeners never to retaliate on customers’ food and to speak up if they witness unhygienic acts.
• Quote:
  • “If you ever have the urge to f*** with somebody's food...don’t do it.” — Jay [33:41]
  • “You're condoning that kind of behavior and witnessing these people consume this food.” — Haley [33:09]

---

Notable Quotes

• “She woke up around 5 in the morning to him passed out in her closet, covered in…” — Memes [05:55]
• “There's a lot of women who do not orgasm with men.” — Jay [13:13]
• “I am the best at faking orgasms. I will make a man feel 10ft tall.” — Jay [14:54]
• “My orgasm face is way hotter. I've practiced.” — Jay [16:16]
• “Whose pussy hole is that big? Dude, was it a new one?” — Jay [29:52]
• “That's abuse. That man literally has a skeleton in his closet...you are right in every way that you feel. Your feelings are valid.” — Jay [27:44]
• “If you ever have the urge to f*** with somebody's food…don't do it.” — Jay [33:41]

---

Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Closet Poop Story: The denial, the soiled belt, and the comedic retelling had everyone in stitches.
• Sex-Ed Realness: Honest revelations about women’s orgasms—how many fake it, and what actually works.
• “Wiffle Ball Bat”: The logistics and shock factor of this confession fuel plenty of laughter and disbelief.
• Hardee’s Horror: A scandalous glimpse into a world of restaurant food safety gone awry—and why reporting matters.
• Healthy Advocacy: The group’s firm stance on women prioritizing their own health and autonomy.

---

Conclusion

The “Ask, Tell, Confess” episode serves up everything the Dumb Blonde audience expects: bold confessions, gut-busting laughs, and compassionate, real talk about relationships and health. Unapologetically candid, the hosts show there’s room for both raunchy silliness and supportive community in the same podcast—reminding listeners to advocate for themselves and always speak up when something's wrong.

---

Transcript

[Host/Advertiser]

So you just got back from your summer vacation. Maybe you might have even had to book two hotel rooms because of your loud snoring. Some vacation, huh? Snoring can be an underlying cause of high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and even memory loss. Introducing zipa that's Happy Z spelled backwards. Zipa is a doctor designed mouthpiece that moves your jaw forward to keep your airway open. From now through the month of October, you can put an end to your snoring and save dollar on a limited edition pink zipa. They'll even donate another 10 bucks to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Help ZIPA reach their goal to raise $50,000 for breast cancer research by going to Zyppah.com and use the code pink or text the word bunny that's B u n N I E to 511-511. Put your snoring on a permanent vacation and help a worthy cause with with the snoring device. Millions trust by visiting Zyppah.com and use the code pink or text bunny to 511511. Remember, zipa is happy Z spelled backwards.

[Jay]

Text fees may apply.

[Host/Advertiser]

So you just got back from your summer vacation. Maybe you might have even had to book two hotel rooms because of your loud snoring. Some vacation, huh? Snoring can be an underlying cause of high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and even memory loss. Introducing xipa that's Happy Z spelled backwards. XIPA is a doctor designed mouthpiece that moves your jaw forward to keep your airway open. From now through the month of October, you can put an end to your snoring and save $10 on a limited edition pink zipa. They'll even donate another 10 bucks to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Help zipa reach their goal to raise $50,000 for breast cancer research by going to Z and use the code pink or text the word bunny that's B u n N I E to 511-511. Put your snoring on a permanent vacation and help a worthy cause with the snoring device. Millions trust by visiting Zyppah.com and use the code pink or text bunny to 511511. Remember, zipa is happy Z spelled backwards.

[Jay]

Text fees may apply.

[Bunny]

Hey guys, I need to ask know why and the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Forts. We have Propaganda we have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget. And everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumblon podcast and sign up. Stop out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats. Live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking, like, signed stuff from JNI Lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get. It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life.

[Jay]

My writers.

[Bunny]

If I could, I would literally make.

[Jay]

Out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much.

[Bunny]

And that's a lot of kisses, actually.

[Jay]

Gotta go. Bye.

[Bunny]

Ask, tell, Confess.

[Haley]

Ask, tell, confess. Ask to confess.

[Bunny]

Hello, friends. Welcome back to Ask Tales.

[Haley]

Shaw just said, I'm out of here, bro.

[Memes]

I've had enough.

[Jay]

Excuse me. You don't want to work, you gotta come. Earn your keep, buddy.

[Memes]

Yeah, I was funny.

[Haley]

Jie. That was comical, man.

[Jay]

He wasn't into it. He didn't like.

[Memes]

He's not. He's not into it today.

[Jay]

He hated it. You know, you've been getting really grumpy in your old age, son. It's all right.

[Memes]

Okay.

[Jay]

Still love you.

[Bunny]

How's everybody doing?

[Memes]

Doing good. Miss you guys.

[Haley]

Missed you guys. I missed you.

[Memes]

You see the post I sent you? I was like, haven't seen my friends in so long. What if I get shy?

[Jay]

I know. I miss you guys. I feel like we've just been living life, man.

[Memes]

Feeling.

[Jay]

Trying to get ready. L I V I N. I guess we accidentally announced Jay's Australian tour. Did you guys see all that?

[Haley]

No.

[Memes]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay]

It made headline news, so apparently. But here's the thing. I saw ads on Facebook for it, so I thought everybody knew we were going to Australia.

[Memes]

Yeah, well, we're coming to Australia.

[Jay]

Yeah. I just don't know the exact dates, but we're coming, baby. And when we do, you guys better sell it out, okay? Sell that motherfucker out, because we're coming, baby. What did you say?

[Haley]

I didn't know.

[Jay]

I didn't either.

[Memes]

You Know that.

[Jay]

I didn't either. I didn't either. Who wants to kick this off? I do.

[Haley]

Oh, my God.

[Jay]

I never kick it off.

[Memes]

I'm next.

[Jay]

Okay, you kick it off. Go ahead. I'm just kidding. I just wanted to beat you to the punch.

[Memes]

No, it's okay.

[Haley]

Go.

[Jay]

No. I knew you were excited. Go. Wow.

[Memes]

Okay. Sorry to the listeners that are over the poop stories, but here it goes.

[Jay]

Oh, for the love of God.

[Memes]

Oh, this is great. My best friend and I lived in an apartment together right after high school. She was dating a guy we had known for several years and went to school with. And we partied hard, but he really pushed it to the limit. We got pretty drunk one night and he stayed the night with her. She said she Woke up around 5 in the morning to him passed out in her closet, covered in. Closet, closet, covered in. And it all over her clothes and other things in her closet. She proceeded to wake him up. He got up and went straight to the bathroom to clean himself up. And when he was done, he came into her bedroom and said, it wasn't me and just walked out and left. It's my favorite part.

[Haley]

What the.

[Memes]

She said.

[Haley]

It wasn't me.

[Memes]

I had no idea any of this happened until a few days later. A belt of mine she had borrowed was sitting in an empty beer box by our trash. I started to pull it out of the box and she screamed, don't touch that. She told me the whole story of what had happened and explained that there was a massive turd that got stuck to my belt in the midst of his incident. We laughed hysterically about it, and she also shed a tear.

[Jay]

Okay, first of all, I have never been that drunk to where I am loose. Booty.

[Memes]

Me either.

[Jay]

I can't.

[Haley]

I mean, beer. Oh, I've seen people get beer shits where they're just like side of the road just spraying.

[Bunny]

Really?

[Jay]

Is it from the wheat or the gluten?

[Haley]

Oh, I bet you the gluten. That makes sense.

[Jay]

Golly.

[Memes]

Wasn't me.

[Jay]

Yeah, it wasn't me. I could never like. And then to just everywhere, like, do.

[Bunny]

Have you been that drunk?

[Jay]

I. Listen, I've been really drunk to where I'm like, blackout. But I still would know if I'm shatting everywhere, you know?

[Haley]

Oh, God.

[Jay]

You know, like, it had have been.

[Haley]

Just like a water hose. Just like.

[Memes]

I've never been so drunk to where I've like heat on myself, thrown up on myself or myself.

[Jay]

Okay, well, I did puke in my bed one time. The last time I ever drank. I puke in my. Puked in my bed. In front of.

[Haley]

You're all fours in your bed, just.

[Jay]

And I will never. I never drank again after. Well, I like here and there very rarely, but yeah, so. And that was enough to embarrass me. So if that guy even picked up a glass of alcohol after he. Everywhere he did, it was like a freaking shitty sprinkler. Just everywhere. Yeah, just everywhere.

[Jaime]

I wonder if he was on, like, medication, you know?

[Jay]

I mean, that's very sweet of you, Jaime.

[Haley]

I love that you.

[Jay]

Have you in a closet before.

[Haley]

Was it you?

[Jaime]

But I've had to clean. When I. When I cleaned rooms, I actually walked up to a room and there was on like the front door.

[Bunny]

Wait, you used to clean?

[Jaime]

Yeah, like a housekeeper.

[Jay]

Oh, my gosh. So they were like, what are the crazy. What's the craziest you've ever seen cleaning up a room?

[Jaime]

It was that. It was that day. It was on the front door. I walk in and there's shit from the front door that leads all the way up. Stairs.

[Memes]

Ew.

[Jaime]

So it looked like a monkey enclosure. Like, it was nuts. I was like, what? And I was the first one in there.

[Bunny]

Who's got that much shit in them.

[Haley]

That's wild.

[Jaime]

Turns out he was like some professor who partied a little too hard with him.

[Memes]

It was a professor.

[Jaime]

There was shit in the. All over. Like the bed, the bathroom. Oh, the shower. The shower was still a mess. I don't know.

[Bunny]

You did the old waffle stomp.

[Jaime]

Yeah, it was bad.

[Bunny]

Fall is in full swing. And if you're like me, it's the season to cozy up and refresh your wardrobe. Quince makes it so easy. You get those polished, comfy pieces that keep you warm without the crazy price tag. Quince has all the elevated essentials for fall. Think 100% Mongolian cashmere from $50 washable silk tops and skirts and perfectly tailored denim at all prices that feel too good to be true. I'm eyeing their wool coats. They look designer level, but cost a.

[Jay]

Fraction of the price.

[Bunny]

And the quality just as good, if not better. By partnering directly with ethical top tier factories and cutting out the middleman, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver luxury quality pieces at half the price of similar brands. It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that feels smart, stylish and effortless. This fall, my Quint staples are on repeat.

[Jay]

Their cozy cashmere hoodie for every day.

[Bunny]

Buttery soft leggings for the gym, and their organic cotton bedding. I Never want to get out of Quince has become my one stop shop from closet to kitchen to home, giving me luxury essentials without the luxury price tag. Keep it classic and cozy this fall with long lasting staples from quince. Go to quince.com bunny for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.com B U N N I E to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.combunny you know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans? Getting burned by your old wireless bill. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back. That's why I made the switch to Mint Mobile. With Mint, you can get the coverage and speed you're used to, but for way less money. And for a limited time, Mint Mobile is offering three months of unlimited premium wireless service for free. Fifteen buckaroos a month. So while your friends are sweating over data, overages and surprise charges, you'll be chilling. Literally and financially. Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages, Mint Mobile is here to rescue you. All plans come with a high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. Ditch overpriced Wireless and get three months of unlimited service from Mint Mobile for 15 buckaroonies a month. Listen, I don't gatekeep money hacks. I use Mint Mobile and you should too. My old provider, Highway Robbery Mint gives me the same crystal clear service, full bars and speedy data for a fraction of the price I'm saving enough every month to put towards things I actually enjoy this year. Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer and your three month unlimited wireless plan for just 50 doll. 15 bucks a [e-mail] bunny that's mintmobile.com b u n n I e upfront payment of 45 required equivalent to 15amonth limited time new customers offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plans, taxes and fees. Extra cement Mobile for details oh my God.

[Haley]

I just remembered my dream.

[Jay]

No.

[Memes]

Excuse me.

[Jay]

Why did Waffle Stomp sit in a shower? I did. I in a shower. I wish I could in a shower.

[Haley]

That's so weird though.

[Jay]

I wish I just came in a shower before, but I wish I could Actually, like, in a shower now, there's no way I could do that.

[Bunny]

I've in a pool before.

[Jay]

I've in a lazy river at.

[Haley]

In your dress?

[Jay]

Wild. I in a dress one time and.

[Haley]

Then scooped it up and took it to Jay and was like, look, it.

[Jay]

Was a little nugget. He was mortified. He didn't know what to do with me and ask, why is it so hard for me to orgasm? The man is not the problem. He does everything right. And I have gotten so close than nothing.

[Haley]

I feel like she hasn't learned her body well.

[Memes]

A lot of women's the man.

[Jay]

I'm guy. Listen, I'm going to just put it out there. Not a lot. A lot of women orgasm. With men, it's very hard. You have to have clitoral stimulation a lot of the time. You have to be on top and, like, rubbing your clit at the same time as you're getting penetration, else you're not going to orgasm. You can use a toy while he's banging you. Like, if you're a doggy style, use a toy that'll make you orgasm. But sometimes when it gets up to that point of orgasm, you feel a little bit uncomfortable.

[Bunny]

Like, it almost feels like you might pee.

[Jay]

Sometimes. You have to be able to get past that point to get to the whole full, like, pleasure zone.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jay]

So don't feel bad because your husband's not making you orgasm. There's a lot of women who do not orgasm with men. And the first orgasm I ever had was with a vibrator. Wasn't with a man.

[Haley]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, I feel like she needs to learn her body, though, because, like, something. There's something more there. And if she said she's close, she's not passing over the rainbow, like, you got to keep going.

[Jay]

Yeah. And I don't think it's about learning her body. I think it's just learning different positions to where you can stimulate that. Because we can also orgasm from the inside, but that's even harder. And, like, guys have to do that with a finger. Unless they do have, like, a captain hook and can reach that spot. But, yeah, pretty normal.

[Haley]

We get a sex expert on here and we have them teach us all the tricks.

[Jay]

Totally down. Yeah, let's do it.

[Haley]

I know.

[Jay]

Yeah. But don't feel bad, girl. You're not the only one. Everybody's like that.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Haley, have you ever, ever orgasmed with a man?

[Haley]

Have you told a man that you did?

[Jay]

Oh, I've told plenty of all of them. So they I've told plenty. I am the best.

[Haley]

So they leave.

[Memes]

I'm over it.

[Jay]

I am the best at faking orgasms. I will make a man feel 10ft tall. Yeah. Yeah.

[Haley]

How do you feel about that?

[Jaime]

I'm rethinking some experiences now.

[Jay]

You're like. I would be willing to say 90 of women orgasming with their. Their significant other are fake.

[Haley]

Oh, yes.

[Memes]

I could probably count on one hand with a guy.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Okay.

[Jay]

Yeah, My husband has made me orgasm, but there's other men that I've been with that I've never had an orgasm with. I've had to, like, toys to make it happen.

[Memes]

So, yeah, once they leave Noel, or.

[Jay]

While you're with them, I'm over them.

[Haley]

She's like, all right, let me call you that.

[Jay]

Maybe you don't want to feel that vulnerable with them, cuz orgasming. Listen, you get to know somebody when you see their O face. Have you ever, like, you could think, a dude is so fine, and you see their orgasm face and they're like.

[Memes]

Like one of those goats, you know? I get icked out so fast, I can't.

[Jay]

I know, but imagine what some of our orgasm face look like. Like when you.

[Haley]

Yeah, I couldn't imagine what my face looks like. What does yours look like?

[Jaime]

It's called the vinegar stroke. Have you heard of it?

[Jay]

No.

[Jaime]

What, so it's. You pretend you have a spoon of vinegar and then hold it up under your nose. That's what your. Your face is.

[Jay]

No, no, my. My orgasm face is way hotter. I've practiced.

[Memes]

Yeah, I don't think I look.

[Haley]

She says I practice in the mirror.

[Jay]

I've practiced. Yeah. Yeah. I've film. I've been on film many a times. I know what my orgasm taste looks like. Should we tell the story about live on the podcast?

[Haley]

Okay, but I won't give names.

[Jay]

Okay. And you got to show the picture, too. You got to show the picture, too. This is who Olivia is. Man, she is so funny. This kid is so hilarious.

[Haley]

Jaime doesn't know the story is my first time. Yeah. Okay, so this is no disrespect. This is a very innocent child doing this entire situation. There was a recent burial in this, like, 1800s cemetery up the road from someone I know. And Olivia was very intrigued by this.

[Jay]

She.

[Haley]

She is very fascinated of all things, like circle of life. And my mom said, I, you know, I'll take you up there. I don't mind. We can go see. I've hiked up to that cemetery myself, too. It's a really beautiful old cemetery, hand carved gravestones, everything like that. And so there's this freshly buried person up there. And Olivia got my mom's phone and she's taking pictures of like the old tombstones and some blurry pictures, everything like that. So when my mom came back, she decided to show my husband these really cool gravestones and all this kind of stuff. So she's swiping through and she finds a blurry photo and she goes, oh, this is when I handed it to Olivia. So she swipes a couple more and this photo pops up. So let me just show you guys this photo while Olivia had my mom's phone.

[Bunny]

When starting a podcast, you're starting a business. Exciting, but honestly, kind of scary. Had all the doubts. What if it doesn't work? What if no one shows up? But that's normal for any entrepreneur. That's why I love Shopify. It makes turning an idea into reality simple. From selling products to growing your brand all in one place. So if you've been waiting for a sign to finally start, this is it with Shopify, you can make it happen. Shopify, the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US hosts level up your wardrobe with the Bunny XO fam. Your closet will thank you. Shop Bunny XO com what if I can't design a website? Shopify's got you from the get go with beautiful ready to go templates to match your brand style. What if I need a hand? Get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images, writing product descriptions or generating discount codes with Shopify's AI tools created for commerce. What if people haven't heard about my brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer service support. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com bunny go to shopify.com b u n n I e shopify.com bunny Audible's romance.

[Advertiser]

Collection has something to satisfy every side of you when it comes to what kind of romance you're into. You don't have to choose just one fancy a dalliance with a Duke or maybe a steamy billionaire. You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field. And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm, discover modern rom coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood. The latest romantasy series from Sarah J. Maas and Rebecca Yar. Plus Regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, and of course, all the really steamy stuff. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery. That's audible.com wondery.

[Haley]

All right. It's the tongue for me.

[Jay]

It was so funny, dude.

[Memes]

I feel like whoever's buried there was definitely, like, smiling with her would have enjoyed this.

[Jay]

Like, she was such an innocent kid.

[Haley]

It's so innocent. And it just. My mom and husband broke out laughing so hard, and they were like, they had no idea this photo existed. But the fact that she decided to take a selfie with this grave just. Just absolutely sent me to. So. My child.

[Memes]

I hope a kid does that to me when I'm buried.

[Jay]

You need to blow this up and put it in a room.

[Haley]

She's got like a Lainey Wilson shirt on or something like that. She's so innocent.

[Memes]

I'd be like this in the background.

[Jay]

Like.

[Memes]

Like, it reminds me.

[Haley]

Haley said it. It reminds me of the little girl who's smiling in front of the burning house.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Haley]

That's literally. Olivia was like a fresh dug grave.

[Jay]

Yeah. Go ahead, Memes.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Jay]

What do you got?

[Haley]

I was with my oldest daughter's father. He had a foot fetish and we started getting down and he used to love his feet to be worshiped. And I started worshiping his feet and he started to finger my. With his toe.

[Memes]

Okay.

[Haley]

And asked me if I enjoyed it. It was so weird. He never did it again, but it was the last time having sex with him.

[Jay]

I've tried that before. Come on, you guys. Don't just get freaky and want to shove in your vagina your own toe. Not my own toe.

[Memes]

Not someone else's toe.

[Haley]

Not putting anyone's toe on my vagina.

[Jay]

I did a long time ago. That's happened.

[Haley]

I watched it.

[Jay]

Doesn't feel like anything. It's so short and little. It doesn't do anything for you.

[Haley]

I have watched a video of you put your toe in Mo's vagina.

[Jay]

I did put a toe in Mo's vagina, actually. From my old O. Yeah, I edited the video. Yeah. Maybe used to have to edit all my of.

[Memes]

Oh, my God.

[Jay]

This poor woman has seen the inside of me. Okay. She's seen every crevice.

[Haley]

There is nothing.

[Memes]

I hate that word.

[Jay]

Crevice. Moist crevice.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah. I thought about the time that we put your butt in a cake that one time, but the cake was frozen and we had put spam or we put Pam all over your butt. So it just got kicked out of the.

[Jay]

No, we did this at my house because there's like this thing called sploshing, I think is what it's called. And so I was like, you know what? I'm gonna cater to my. I think somebody paid me to do the video, actually. And so I thought I got, like a regular freaking cake from Publix. And we got it out of the fridge, and I'm in lingerie, I'm all greased up, and I go to plop down on this cake. So that. Because the. The fetish is the cake just you sitting in the cake and it just all over your ass. Yeah.

[Memes]

All right.

[Jay]

Literally, I go to sit on this cake and it's like, boom. Like, it is a frozen tundra of cake. It barely even made a imprint. I slid right off the cake, dude.

[Haley]

It literally just came out from under her butt, literally.

[Jay]

And I'm like, okay, this is. I'm over splashing. I can't do it.

[Haley]

What are your thoughts on hysterectomy? I know this week on the podcast.

[Memes]

Oh, did you?

[Haley]

Because this week on the podcast, we talked about a lot about women's health, and I thought this was a great question. So I said, what's your thoughts on a hysterectomy? I'm 42 and having one after getting my tubes. T. Is she going to fall off?

[Memes]

I'm scared.

[Haley]

Okay. Tubes tied years ago and having the worst periods ever. No medical reason per se, but mom had one young due to issues. And I'm curious what other women think about this. I've been on the fence for several years. So you're saying that, like, her mom had gotten a hysterectomy, so she's feeling like maybe she should just go ahead and do it. Which I feel like there are other options other than the hysterectomy. Like, you can get an ablation. That's another thing. You know, I hear a lot of women that say ablations are literally life changing for their periods. Then you don't have to go through the whole menopause thing. And we talk about that this week.

[Jay]

Well, there's also this new thing that you get, which is what I begged my doctor to give me was and she told me no, I was too young, is you can get a hysterectomy, but keep your ovaries so you don't go through the menopause until it's time to go through the menopause.

[Memes]

Really?

[Jay]

So, yeah, I think.

[Haley]

I think I just take uterus and tubes.

[Jay]

Yep. So I think whatever you want to do for your body, you need to advocate for. I. You guys will learn in this podcast coming up on Monday. Like, I've had to really advocate for myself, medically and women. We know our bodies and we know what we need to do. We know absolutely, you know, how we're feeling. And I just feel like if you're ready for that step in your life and you're okay with, you know, never having babies again, then do it.

[Memes]

I don't think there's.

[Jay]

Do your research.

[Haley]

Like. Like, I didn't know about keeping the ovaries. Also, like, the ablation. There's options.

[Jay]

Yeah. Like, if you want to get a full hysterectomy too, just make sure you get on HRT and make sure that, you know, so whenever you do have to hit that menopausal hormonal shit, it's a little bit easier.

[Haley]

I've actually thought about getting an ablation just because I don't want to have my period anymore and I'm not going to have any kids. So it's like, why Friend of mine had it done. She said it was literally life changing for her that, like, she hasn't had a period. And I think she said like three years now. And the first period was a little rough, but three years, no period. And she didn't have to go through the surgeries and like, the ovaries, all that kind of stuff because, you know, I'm scared only because something's messed up in there. Yeah. And I found that out during my C section. And she said if you have a cyst burst, it can actually, like, close off a tube or attach your tube to your uterus. And I think that's what happened to me. Remember I was telling you guys the doctor couldn't find my tube when they went to go remove it? I think it was like a cyst burst that scar tissued the tube to my uterus.

[Jay]

I believe it. My whole is up down there, so.

[Haley]

And that could happen to you too.

[Jay]

Yeah, no, I get it. It's everybody's. I. I just feel bad for us girlies that have such up uteruses, dude. Like, it is not fair. Women who have good uteruses. You guys are so lucky. So l. So lucky. But yeah, do whatever makes your heart set on fire, baby like that. If you want to do that. Go do it. Don't let anybody else. Jade, your decision, because, yeah, they feel like ethically right or, you know, a doctor's telling you that you can't do it. I would like to be anonymous. Three years into my marriage, my husband started accusing me of being born a.

[Bunny]

Man because I'm tall, Scottish to broadly shoulders.

[Jay]

And what the ever made him think this? Even though I have children from a previous relationship and he knew me while.

[Bunny]

Pregnant, he would not leave me. He would not leave me alone about.

[Jay]

It so much that I had to do a 23andMe. I was obsessed to prove it to him. So obsessed that I lost myself for a long time. Not that I'm being a victim. I'm still married to him going on nine years total. Yes, he did finally drop the subject. But I will never be the same mentally. First of all, ma', am, that's not a victim mentality. What your husband did to you was abusive.

[Haley]

That's abuse.

[Jay]

That's abuse. That man literally has a skeleton in his closet. Something triggered that, and he's projecting it onto you. Somebody said something to him, something happened to him. Something triggered him abusing you like that. And if I were you, I would have left him a long time.

[Haley]

Why are we still together?

[Jay]

Why? He's probably gonna do that to your kids. Kids.

[Memes]

And he's gonna do something about what he's saying behind your back.

[Haley]

Yeah, he's saying that to your face.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Haley]

No, there's. That's not going to end right there. Like, that is going to resurface in another way. That may have nothing to do with that subject. He is going to abuse you again in another subject.

[Jay]

I mean, he's seen your vagina. Like, how is he gonna say that you're. That you were a man? Dude, like, that was.

[Bunny]

He was literally bullying you.

[Haley]

Yes. Bullying.

[Jay]

Is that what always remembering you? Yeah.

[Memes]

Yes.

[Jay]

And you deserve to feel the way that you do. You are right in every way that you feel. Your feelings are valid. If you need to go talk to a therapist to kind of work through it, do it. But the first thing you need to do is drop that dud. Yes.

[Haley]

That dude, man.

[Jay]

That guy is from Amy Bear Tell. I'm telling the story on my husband's behalf. So back in the day before we were adults and found recovery, my husband was married to the town tramp camp. He had recently caught her cheating on him. So they split up a couple days. Go on. And they run into each other at a party. Needless to say, they ended up Hooking up that night.

[Bunny]

But he didn't her with his dick.

[Jay]

He her with a wiffle ball bat. Yep. It was consensual. I've always found the story hilarious, especially the way my husband tells it. He is very much an alpha and is huge on loyalty. So I'm sure he gave her the business with that wiffle ball bat. He literally would die if he hears this while I'm watching Patreon. I did it like this, I did it like that.

[Bunny]

I did it with a wiffle ball of that.

[Memes]

So, BC boys, you've always got a song for something.

[Haley]

She's always got a little too.

[Jay]

Listen, first of all, wiffle ball bats are pretty thick.

[Haley]

Yeah, my mind literally, I was just playing with one in the backyard.

[Jay]

Wiffle ball bat. I need to see the circumference of this wiffle.

[Memes]

Some they make that are like this big around.

[Jay]

I just want to know whose pussy hole is that big. Dude, was it a new one?

[Memes]

Did you play a game at wiffle ball before?

[Jay]

Who cares if it was new or used? I mean, I just need to see how big this thing is before it goes in the hole. Like, how do some of these women get things in there? Hey, traffic cone.

[Haley]

Oh, I remember traffic.

[Jay]

Remember the whore Olympics, though? The ones that they were sitting on?

[Memes]

Oh, that like freaking tentacles.

[Jay]

It was crazy. There's something going on with the Olympics. I wish we could bring it back. Are we not allowed to do hympics anymore?

[Haley]

We are not.

[Jay]

Okay, why?

[Memes]

We just do it privately for us. Yeah.

[Jay]

Can we say we're going to air it and we don't? Anyways, how do you guys feel about the wiffle ball bat?

[Haley]

I was playing with a wiffle ball bat the other day, so, I mean, I guess it depends. Oh, wait.

[Jay]

Why is it so long?

[Haley]

It's long in the tooth.

[Memes]

Isn't that's girthy sizes of wi.

[Haley]

Because that is not the one we were playing with the other day.

[Jay]

That is still round as to be shoving in your vagina. What was he just standing above her, like, shoving it in like an or like, what the hell, dude?

[Haley]

I mean, that's a big thing. I can understand, like, I don't know, end of a water bottle, but like a whole less.

[Jay]

You can understand the water bottle.

[Haley]

I mean, that small. Yes, I meant, like, we're talking about wuffle bell bath. Like, that's like this big.

[Memes]

Like, sometimes they get like this big around. Yeah, that's not this big around.

[Haley]

There's some skinny ones.

[Jay]

I think he was better off have leaving her as an example. Ex.

[Haley]

I mean she was the town tramp. The size I guess didn't matter if she was the town.

[Jay]

That wasn't cheating.

[Memes]

If he did it with a wiff.

[Jay]

Ball bat, he wasn't cheating.

[Haley]

Oh no. This was back in the day.

[Jay]

He was cheating. Yeah, she was cheating on him. And so he her with a wiffle ball bat to get back at her and she let him. I don't know.

[Bunny]

We're not judging.

[Jay]

No hero or big props to him for being able to do it. But I mean, yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how she fitted in her hoot. Nanny. I worked at Hardee's in high school when I dropped out at 16 and was a heroin addict because the owner was my dealer and he also owned a strip club. They would legit shoot up right next to the food. Some tweakers would scratch their face over the food.

[Bunny]

No one but me wore gloves.

[Jay]

Was just a cesspool for junkies. And so many older people ate there every morning. Like a morning ritual.

[Bunny]

After about a week, I quit because.

[Jay]

That was so overwhelming for me with ocd and it made my heartbreak for all the people that ate there. A few months later, I went to the strip club he owned. And after about an hour, I realized.

[Bunny]

There was no one ever on the polls.

[Jay]

It was a strip club, but it.

[Bunny]

Was just prostitutes that were full blown.

[Jay]

Tweakers and one was his own daughter. Never talked to my dealer again. And after that because what in the actual is going on with that dude?

[Haley]

What?

[Jay]

That's crazy.

[Haley]

You're just scratching your scabs over the food, bro.

[Jay]

I will fudgeing beat the living daylights out of somebody if I ever saw that happening.

[Haley]

You know, this also makes me question the people who witnessed this happening and don't.

[Jay]

That's what I was just about to say. This would make me beat the daylights out of somebody. Especially if it was somebody who witnessed.

[Bunny]

It and just let it happen.

[Jay]

You're.

[Haley]

I feel like you're just as bad.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Like you were. You're condoning that kind of behavior and witnessing these people consume this food. Those little old people don't know any better. Like, you know, like the little old men who.

[Jay]

What if they got like a chunk of heroin or something in their food, you know? Or like.

[Haley]

Or like what if them. One of them has like a disease. A disease. An STD or something like in that bloodstream and the. Oh, how sad. You could take that person out.

[Jay]

Yeah, bro. Like you guys, please. If you're listening to this and you ever have the urge to. With somebody's food.

[Haley]

Don't.

[Jay]

Don't do it. Like, don't. I get that their people are. And I get that, you know, you want to get back at them for making you feel less than. But honestly, you're stooping to their level when you. When you do, like, stop them if you see it. Yeah. Stop people when you see it. Don't treat people like that. Even people who are rude to you. Be nice to them. Smile at them. They might need that smile.

[Haley]

They're probably being mad and mean to you because they got their own going on.

[Jay]

Yeah. Which doesn't give him an excuse. But still, it's like, you know, two wrongs don't make it right.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jay]

All right.

[Bunny]

And that's our TED talk.

[Haley]

Balls on my bread.

[Jay]

Yeah. Mimi's still mad about the Bali bread so bad. Oh, God, I'm never eating out again. I love you guys. We're about to go on a two week run. I'm not. I got meal preps.

[Haley]

She does. She's got an entire box of meal preps.

[Jay]

I've got meal preps for everybody if you guys want some. All right, guys, we'll continue this next week. Love ya.

[Bunny]

Bye. When starting a podcast, you're starting a business. Exciting, but honestly, kind of scary. Had all the doubts. What if it doesn't work? What if no one shows up? But that's normal for any entrepreneur. That's why I love Shopify. It makes turning an idea into reality simple. From selling products to growing your brand all in one place. So if you've been waiting for a sign to finally start, this is it with Shopify, you can make it happen. Shopify, the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US hosts, level up your wardrobe with the Bunny XO fam. Your closet will thank you. Shop Bunny xo.

[Jay]

Com.

[Bunny]

What if I can't design a website? Shopify's got you from the get go with beautiful ready to go templates to match your brand style. What if I need a hand? Get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images, writing product descriptions or generating discount codes with Shopify's AI tools created for commerce. What if people haven't heard about my brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 247 customer service support. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com bunny go to shopify.comb u n n I e shopify.com bunny.