Dumb Blonde Podcast: "Ask, Tell, Confess: Best of Closet Poops & Bedtime Lies"
Host: Bunnie XO
Date: September 5, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode of Dumb Blonde dives deep into hilarious, awkward, and candid listener confessions as part of the "Ask, Tell, Confess" segment. Bunnie XO, along with regulars Haley, Jay, Jaime, and Memes, react to jaw-dropping stories about embarrassing bodily incidents, relationship confessions, and wild moments. The group also tackles questions about women's sexuality and health, providing a blend of both laughter and insight, all in their trademark unfiltered style.
Key Discussion Points & Standout Segments
1. Reunion Vibes and Australian Tour Teaser
[04:41–05:31]
- The group opens with friendly banter about missing each other and accidentally leaking Jay’s Australian tour plans.
- Quote:
- Jay: “When we do, you guys better sell it out, okay? Sell that motherfucker out, because we're coming, baby.” [05:19]
2. Infamous Poop Stories: “Closet, Closet, Covered In…”
[05:45–08:14]
- Memes shares a shocking tale: after a drunken night, a friend’s boyfriend is discovered passed out in a closet, covered in feces—and denies it.
- The story escalates when a belt soiled in the incident is nearly touched by Memes days later.
- Quote:
- “She said she woke up around 5 in the morning to him passed out in her closet, covered in… Closet, closet, covered in. And it all over her clothes… He got up...and said, ‘it wasn’t me’ and just walked out and left.” — Memes [05:55]
Group Reactions
- General disbelief and disgust, sharing personal limits with alcohol-related accidents.
- Discussion of whether being that drunk is even possible—and what could prompt it.
3. Cleaning Catastrophes: The “Monkey Enclosure”
[08:14–09:11]
- Jaime describes the worst hotel room she ever cleaned: feces smeared from the front door, up the stairs, and into the rooms, left by a supposedly respectable professor after a rager.
- Quote:
- “It looked like a monkey enclosure. Like, it was nuts.” — Jaime [08:50]
4. Woman’s Orgasm Realness: “Faking It, Learning Your Body, and O Faces”
[12:53–16:22]
-
A listener asks why it’s so hard for her to have an orgasm.
- Jay and Haley discuss the importance of clitoral stimulation, the prevalence of faking it, and not blaming partners unnecessarily.
- Honest admissions about personal experiences.
- Quote:
- “You have to have clitoral stimulation a lot of the time… so don’t feel bad because your husband's not making you orgasm. There's a lot of women who do not orgasm with men.” — Jay [13:13]
- “I am the best at faking orgasms. I will make a man feel 10ft tall.” — Jay [14:54]
-
Haley calls for bringing in a sex expert, which the group agrees would be a great idea.
Memorable Moment
- Jaime explains “the vinegar stroke,” describing a stereotypical O-face:
- "You pretend you have a spoon of vinegar and then hold it up under your nose." — Jaime [16:06]
- Jay counters: “No, my orgasm face is way hotter. I’ve practiced.” [16:16]
5. Haley’s Graveyard Selfie Story
[16:39–21:09]
- Haley tells a story about her daughter Olivia taking a selfie with a freshly-dug grave, which her family found hilarious and endearing rather than morbid.
- Group reflects on the innocence of children finding humor in odd places.
6. Wild Sex Confessions: Feet, Toes, and Wiffle Ball Bats
[21:31–31:45]
-
Listener confesses about a partner’s foot fetish: using his toe to stimulate her, which the group finds baffling and unappealing.
- Quote:
- Jay: “Come on, you guys. Don’t just get freaky and want to shove your own toe in there?” [21:55]
- “Not someone else’s toe.” — Haley [22:06]
- Quote:
-
Story escalates to a listener’s anecdote about her husband using a wiffle ball bat (yes, really!) on his ex, sparking debate on logistics and judgement:
- Quote:
- “He her with a wiffle ball bat. Yep. It was consensual. I’ve always found the story hilarious, especially the way my husband tells it.” — Bunny [29:09]
- “Whose pussy hole is that big? Dude, was it a new one?” — Jay [29:52]
- Quote:
7. Women’s Health: Hysterectomies, Ablations, and Listener Advice
[23:42–26:32]
- Listener asks for advice about hysterectomy due to terrible periods.
- Jay and Haley discuss alternative procedures (ablation, partial hysterectomy), advocate for women’s self-advocacy and push back against medical gatekeeping.
- Quote:
- “Whatever you want to do for your body, you need to advocate for.” — Jay [24:53]
- “Women who have good uteruses. You guys are so lucky.” — Jay [26:32]
8. Relationship Red Flag: Gender Accusation
[27:07–28:47]
- Listener confesses being accused by her husband of being “born a man” due only to physical features, despite proof to the contrary.
- Group unequivocally labels this as emotional abuse and urges her to leave.
- Quote:
- “First of all, ma’am, that’s not a victim mentality. What your husband did to you was abusive.” — Jay [27:44]
- “That is abuse.” — Haley [27:44]
9. Disturbing Restaurant/Strip Club Confession
[31:47–33:41]
- Listener details working at a Hardee’s run by her heroin-dealer boss who also owns a strip club. Describes rampant food contamination and shocking lack of hygiene.
- Group expresses horror—urges listeners never to retaliate on customers’ food and to speak up if they witness unhygienic acts.
- Quote:
- “If you ever have the urge to f*** with somebody's food...don’t do it.” — Jay [33:41]
- “You're condoning that kind of behavior and witnessing these people consume this food.” — Haley [33:09]
Notable Quotes
- “She woke up around 5 in the morning to him passed out in her closet, covered in…” — Memes [05:55]
- “There's a lot of women who do not orgasm with men.” — Jay [13:13]
- “I am the best at faking orgasms. I will make a man feel 10ft tall.” — Jay [14:54]
- “My orgasm face is way hotter. I've practiced.” — Jay [16:16]
- “Whose pussy hole is that big? Dude, was it a new one?” — Jay [29:52]
- “That's abuse. That man literally has a skeleton in his closet...you are right in every way that you feel. Your feelings are valid.” — Jay [27:44]
- “If you ever have the urge to f*** with somebody's food…don't do it.” — Jay [33:41]
Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments
- Closet Poop Story: The denial, the soiled belt, and the comedic retelling had everyone in stitches.
- Sex-Ed Realness: Honest revelations about women’s orgasms—how many fake it, and what actually works.
- “Wiffle Ball Bat”: The logistics and shock factor of this confession fuel plenty of laughter and disbelief.
- Hardee’s Horror: A scandalous glimpse into a world of restaurant food safety gone awry—and why reporting matters.
- Healthy Advocacy: The group’s firm stance on women prioritizing their own health and autonomy.
Conclusion
The “Ask, Tell, Confess” episode serves up everything the Dumb Blonde audience expects: bold confessions, gut-busting laughs, and compassionate, real talk about relationships and health. Unapologetically candid, the hosts show there’s room for both raunchy silliness and supportive community in the same podcast—reminding listeners to advocate for themselves and always speak up when something's wrong.