Ask, Tell, Confess : Best Of

Summary

Dumb Blonde Podcast Episode Summary: "Ask, Tell, Confess: Best Of"

Release Date: December 27, 2024
Host: Dumb Blonde Productions (Bunnie XO)

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Introduction

In the season finale episode titled "Ask, Tell, Confess: Best Of," Dumb Blonde delves into a whirlwind of hilarious, cringe-worthy, and downright shocking personal stories. Hosted by Bunnie XO, the episode encapsulates the essence of the podcast—addressing the realness of life with a comedic twist. This summary highlights the key discussions, insightful confessions, and entertaining interactions that make this episode a standout installment.

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Host's Personal Revelations: Embarrassing Moments and Life Lessons

The episode opens with Host 1 sharing a deeply personal and embarrassing experience that sets the tone for the candid conversations to follow. At [02:22], Host 1 narrates:

"I was 19, just graduated school and was celebrating with a group of friends. I was sleeping with a guy in the friend group. Nothing serious, just fun. I forgot I started my period. I even forgot I had a tampon in me and said, fun, buddy. Go ahead, proceed to have fun. And let's just say I went home after, and me and my friends spent a good 40 minutes looking for this tampon that was lodged inside of me. Now every time I have sex, even six years later, I still get scared."

This anecdote not only provides a hearty laugh but also touches on the often-overlooked physical and emotional aftermath of intimate encounters. Host 1 continues to share another harrowing experience involving a forgotten tampon that remained in her system for two weeks, leading to unexpected medical attention ([04:29]):

"I wake up and hear... it's a fucking tampon that had been sitting in me for two weeks. The fuck two weeks."

These stories underscore the podcast's commitment to discussing real-life issues with humor and honesty, making listeners feel both entertained and understood.

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Medical Confessions: A Nurse’s Shocking Story

Adding to the pool of confessions, Mimi presents a startling tale from a nurse working in the operating room. At [19:36], Mimi recounts:

"I am a nurse who works in the operating room. We had a patient come in for a foreign object stuck in their rectum. After removal, I revealed it was a Honey Bunny vibrator."

This confession not only serves as a cautionary tale about sexual safety but also injects humor into what could otherwise be an uncomfortable subject. The hosts emphasize the importance of being mindful about what one inserts, blending education with comedy seamlessly.

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Humorous Confessions: The "Poo Chef" and More

The episode is rife with humorous and bizarre stories that keep the audience engaged. One such story involves a guest describing a roommate who needed to chop his large stools into smaller pieces to prevent clogging the toilet ([08:02]):

"His roommate, his roommate takes so big he has to chop them into smaller poops."

Host 1 humorously queries the dietary habits leading to such an unusual situation:

"First of all, what is this man's diet? I need it. I'm jealous." [08:36]

These light-hearted exchanges provide a balance to the more serious confessions, maintaining the podcast's signature blend of humor and relatability.

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Patreon and Content Creation: Managing Multiple Platforms

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the challenges and strategies involved in maintaining various content platforms. Host 1 addresses questions from Patreon supporters about managing multiple social media accounts and sustaining content production ([14:19]):

"How in the world do you maintain all of these social media platforms and things you are involved in doing? I'm sitting here a month in and thinking, damn, this is a lot."

The hosts elaborate on their content strategy, emphasizing the importance of "stacking content" to ensure a steady flow across different platforms. They highlight that much of their extensive content is reserved for Patreon, allowing dedicated supporters exclusive access to a treasure trove of shows and visuals that aren't available elsewhere.

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Listener Interactions: Fantasies, Relationships, and Boundaries

Intertwined with personal stories are interactive segments where listeners' questions and confessions are addressed humorously yet thoughtfully. One memorable interaction involves contemplating reconnecting with ex-partners, leading to humorous banter about the logistics and implications ([16:42]):

Host 1: "I have two baby daddies. I would be lying if I said I haven't thought of them doubling me down."
Guest 1: "Parlez-vous français?"

This segment showcases the hosts' ability to navigate complex relationship dynamics with wit and charm, providing both laughter and subtle insights into maintaining personal boundaries.

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Conclusion: Embracing the Realness with Laughter

"Ask, Tell, Confess: Best Of" epitomizes the Dumb Blonde podcast's mission to explore the unspoken and often taboo aspects of life through humor and open dialogue. From intimate confessions and medical mishaps to quirky personal anecdotes and content creation insights, the episode offers a comprehensive and entertaining listen. By blending honesty with comedy, Bunnie XO and her team create a safe space for listeners to laugh, relate, and perhaps find solace in shared human experiences.

Notable takeaways include the importance of mindfulness in intimate situations, the complexities of managing a multifaceted content platform, and the value of candid conversations in fostering a connected community. As always, Dumb Blonde remains the ultimate destination for those seeking a blend of comedy, trending topics, and lifestyle discussions that celebrate the imperfect yet genuine aspects of life.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Host 1 on Tampon Mishap:
  "[02:22] I was 19, just graduated school and was celebrating with a group of friends... a good 40 minutes looking for this tampon that was lodged inside of me."

• Host 1 on Forgiving the Medical Incident:
  "[04:44] Well, I do have. In his defense and their defense..."

• Mimi on the Vibrator Incident:
  "[19:36] ...the foreign object was a vibrator... Please do not sign any vibrators. You literally have no idea where they've been."

These moments encapsulate the raw and unfiltered nature of the podcast, offering listeners both laughter and valuable life lessons.

Transcript

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[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 1]

Up on the latest episodes without the ads. Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Forts. We have Papaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumb Blonde podcast and sign up Confetti Confess.

[Mimi]

Hey guys, it's Mimi. We hope you guys are having the best holiday season. Here is some of our favorite astel confesses from 2024.

[Host 1]

Hello friends. Welcome to another Ask Tell.

[Guest 1]

I can't.

[Host 1]

I can't wait. Jaime Joining it is what killed me. That is so funny dude. I'm looking at you guys doing it and then I hear the whistle out of the that in my left ear and I look over and it's high mages and the microphone.

[Guest 1]

I saw my chance. I took it.

[Host 1]

Well today we have our plates full with the Ask Talk and Fest. You guys really delivered. If you're on my Patreon, you always get a chance to be a part of these weekly segments and you guys are allowed to ask, tell or confess. And you guys did not disappoint this week. I was 19, just graduated school and was celebrating with a group of friends. I was sleeping with a guy in the friend group. Nothing serious, just fun. I forgot I started my period. I even forgot forgot I had A tampon in me and said, fun, buddy. Go ahead, proceed to have fun. And let's just say I went home after, and me and my friends spent a good 40 minutes looking for this tampon that was lodged inside of me. Now every time I have sex, even six years later, I still get scared. First half a second thinking, I have a tampon and I don't even wear tampons anymore. I've done it before.

[Mimi]

What?

[Host 1]

I never told you about this maybe.

[Mimi]

But, like, maybe not let me know.

[Host 1]

When I did wear tampons. You know, I was always in a constant relationship. My sex life was extremely active. There was one time that me and my ex had sex. We had gotten really up. I wake up the next day, don't think anything about it. But like, a week later, right, I'm going to the bathroom, and I'm like. And I lean over and I'm like, oh, that does not smell right. And I am like. When I'm crazy about how I smell. So, like, my. My vagina is, like, pristine always. So if there's just even a hint of a smell, I know something's wrong. I'm like, all right, I gotta go to the doctor. I'm like, this gave me something. I'm thinking, know, my ex gave me a fucking STD or something. They do the exam, they look in there, they're like, everything's fine. Maybe you just have an infection. Let's give you. You don't have any STDs. Let's just give you an antibiotic. This is a gynecologist. After looking in my vagina and poking around in there, right? The smell was still lingering. I mean, we're two weeks in on this process here, right? One day I sit down on the toilet to take a dump, and I'm pushing out, and as I push out, I hear, and something like a suction cup falls out of my vagina into the fucking toilet, right? And I get up and I turn around and I look, it's a fucking tampon that had been sitting in me for two weeks. The fuck two weeks.

[Mimi]

Look on Jaime's face right now.

[Advertiser]

Crazy.

[Host 1]

And it went. And everything was fine. As soon as it came out, my vagina smelled great again. I was back in action. And, you know, but, I mean, it's normal. I have. You never got.

[Mimi]

Where was it that a gynecologist was not able to spread you open and be like, there's the issue?

[Host 1]

Well, I do have. In his defense and their defense, I do. I don't remember if it was a girl or a guy. I do have a tilted uterus, so that could have been why they couldn't find it.

[Guest 1]

If you were to strip to a jelly roll song, which song would it be?

[Host 1]

Oh, for the love of God. Would you do it to off the new album? Yes. Okay. Ok. Of the new album, it would be the new song that he has. With Russ really gone. I would do this one cuz this is like og jelly roll Daddy goes off on it, right?

[Guest 1]

What?

[Host 1]

Oh.

[Guest 1]

Okay. I can. I can hear this one as.

[Host 1]

Wait, wait till dad. Wait till the beat drops around a pole. Here we go. Ladies, get ready. This is your new song to dance to on st. Oh yeah. Clap them cheeks, girl.

[Guest 1]

I hope he sees this.

[Host 1]

I know. We'll clip it.

[Guest 1]

We have to clip this.

[Host 1]

And then my next choice would probably either be woman because that's a song that he wrote about.

[Guest 1]

Like that's the Sarah McLaughlin of this.

[Host 1]

Album who dances to nothing but fast music. You gotta be sexy.

[Guest 1]

Oh, I guess I'm at the wrong clubs.

[Host 1]

Yeah, you're going to the. You're going to. Which clubs are you at?

[Mimi]

The Ratchet ones.

[Guest 1]

Those are my favorite.

[Host 1]

Or maybe Devil Down. Could you see me getting up there in some boots to this? Oh yeah.

[Guest 1]

The polls right here.

[Host 1]

Just doing that one quad hopper move that I do. Here we go.

[Guest 1]

Oh, that's good.

[Host 1]

All right. Go buy jelly rolls. A new album.

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[Host 2]

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[Guest 1]

I dated a guy in college. I was at his place and I had to take a. I go in, do my thing and there is a. There's a plastic knife on the end of a string hanging on the side of the toilet. What the. I finish up, I come out and I ask the guy what's up with that weirdly placed knife. His roommate, his Roommate takes so big he has to chop them into smaller poops.

[Host 1]

I'm jealous.

[Guest 1]

She goes, he's a poo chef.

[Mimi]

No.

[Host 1]

Okay, first of all, what is this man's diet? I need it. I'm jealous.

[Guest 1]

Just imagine him, like, just.

[Host 1]

But they use the same knife over and over. Like, I mean, there's so many questions I have. How do you discover that you need to chop your turds? What? Toilet.

[Guest 1]

I guess it kept getting stuck.

[Host 1]

What is he eating? Is it solid? Like it just won't break?

[Guest 1]

And half giant logs. And he has to cut them into smaller poops.

[Host 1]

Timber.

[Mimi]

Why did you disagree with that?

[Guest 1]

I've never had that issue. But I have heard men talk about they call it a big fish stop when it doesn't flush and it kind of S's halfway into the water. Halfway out of the water?

[Advertiser]

Yeah, you gotta chop it up.

[Host 1]

I wish I could have one come out of the water. I didn't even know this was a plot. Have you had one come out of the water? Oh, jealous.

[Mimi]

This question's for Haley. How was it kissing bunny? She sucked your bottom lip in the video.

[Host 1]

I did. Did you doubt? First of all, I know you guys have heard us talk about Haley's fucking game. It's like, yeah, there's a whole lore to her gatum. And one minute she'll walk by me on the bus. I don't have a bra. She will full on, grab a titty. Oh, no problem. She'll fudgeing try to swipe my hood. If I walk past her and she's naked, she'll back up into it and.

[Mimi]

Then other up into me.

[Host 1]

Before we got here, she tries to act like she doesn't like it, and it's like, bitch, please. I asked her today because when I was rubbing her titty when she was doing my makeup, I was like, did you miss me?

[Guest 1]

She's like, actually, yeah, it's okay when I do it. I got to initiate it. But if someone gets too close to me, I can't.

[Host 1]

You.

[Guest 1]

Oh, yeah. We're holding hands, by the way.

[Host 1]

I know. I'm like, what are you talking about? As you guys are holding hands on the couch, she's over there talking shit.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I'm not like, I'm not gay at all.

[Host 1]

Okay, so. So do you guys see how she plays this little role?

[Mimi]

It's going to take the right person just to flip that switch, and it's either going to be good or bad. Either she's never going to joke around again, or someone's going to Turn her.

[Host 1]

I want to hook her up with one. You know which one I'm talking about? I think girl.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

No, no, no.

[Host 1]

Bump them clams, baby. Clam bumping. Muff diving. Yeah.

[Guest 1]

I'm gonna close up shop.

[Host 1]

Oh, don't sew it up. It's like a Venus fly trap.

[Mimi]

It was like the iron curtains the other day.

[Host 1]

When it opens, it's like. But then when she gets all scared, it's like the press closed. Oh, no, not the bread in her mouth. Predator mouth.

[Guest 1]

Predator puss.

[Mimi]

Not the predator puss.

[Host 1]

Can't do it.

[Mimi]

Can't do it. They had to send it in the DMs because is good. She said. My fiance, after six years of dating, we love a grand old spicy time in the bedroom. Our sex life is no kind of boring. Well, after doing so much over the years, one day I was messing with him and I told him I wanted to eat his ass. Well, after months of joking around and with him one night, after a night out of drinking, he was like, fine, go ahead if you really want. So I took my shot and did it. After hounding him for months, he had dried poops stuck in his hairy and it ended up in my mouth and out of pure. Hold on, I'm gagging. Out of pure embarrassment for me and him, I just shut the up and did my thing. As nasty as that. Sounds disgusting at the time. And wanted to bleach my face after. But we joke about it and now I officially call him Dingleberry. Swallow it.

[Host 1]

She said I wanted to bleach my face after. Okay.

[Mimi]

All right.

[Host 1]

There's so much here to unpack, men. If you're gonna have somebody eat your ass, at least baby, wipe the motherfucker.

[Mimi]

Give it a dude wipe.

[Host 1]

Give it a little wipey wipe with a diapey dipe. Let's not have doo doo balls encrusted in your fucking ass hairs and then make your fucking significant other have to.

[Mimi]

Eat that spitting them out. Like when you get a piece of pepper stuck in your teeth.

[Host 1]

I could never. If there was doo doo balls. I'm not doing it, dude.

[Guest 1]

No.

[Host 1]

Hey, baby. Let's have a shower and then eat his ass in the shower. There's a line that has to be drawn because you can get sick, sir.

[Mimi]

Wipe your butthole better.

[Host 1]

Why not? Have you ever had your butthole 8?

[Guest 1]

No, I don't like that.

[Host 1]

You don't like anything. You are so pity.

[Guest 1]

Where you shit, guys?

[Host 1]

Tongue punch my fart box.

[Mimi]

I mean, don't knock until you try it.

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[Guest 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 1]

Recently joined your Patreon and went straight for top tier as I'm an all or nothing person. Obsessive personality maybe. My question is how in the world do you maintain all of these social media platforms and things you are involved in doing? I'm sitting here a month in and thinking, damn, this is a lot. Also, what's the Utah timeline look like? B. Lawson I love that. I love this because I try to tell everybody how much content we have on Patreon and I don't think people realize, like, whenever I do start putting on YouTube, I have years worth of that I could put on YouTube, dude. And Patreon is a testament of how hard we work. Like, you guys don't really get to see it unless you're on our Patreon. There is so much on there. It is crazy, dude. Like, I mean, we're talking back to like 2000. 2020, right?

[Mimi]

2020.

[Host 1]

Yeah, 2020. So like five years. Going on five years. That's crazy. Crazy. So we started Patreon the same year that I started my only fans.

[Mimi]

Yeah. At the end of the year. So you started OnlyFans in the beginning of the year and then we started Patreon at the end of the year.

[Host 1]

Yeah. So let's clarify to everybody really quick. Everybody's like, oh my God, you were in the sex industry for. You just retired a year ago. No, I retired from the sex industry five years ago. I have not had a sugar daddy in five years or a client in five years. And I started my only fans in 2020, which only lasted two years. I only had my only fans for two years. And I retired from sex work online in 2020.

[Mimi]

Yes. So just about 20.

[Host 1]

20, 22. Sorry. I retired from sex work online in 2022. So for everybody who's like, what's the timeline? And, you know, how long have you been retired? I've been retired from that lifestyle for half a decade now.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

So.

[Mimi]

Yeah. And like, you weren't actively. Even at the end of. You weren't, like, actively working it. Like, you were in the beginning.

[Host 1]

The first year I shot like 200 movies and I just recycled them the entire.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

That's free game for you ladies, by the way.

[Mimi]

Yeah. Always stack content.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

That even goes for social media. Like, I know they were asking about that. Just stack content. Yeah, that's what you can't expect yourself to film all day, every day, throw some in the drafts, make a day of content, and you've got a week of content.

[Host 1]

Bubbles wants to confess. I have two baby daddies. I would be lying if I said I haven't thought of them doubling me down.

[Guest 1]

Oh, you want to take a trip to Paris?

[Host 1]

Parlez vous francais? I mean, why don't you ask them? I think ask.

[Guest 1]

I kind of like it.

[Host 1]

Unless it's like one of those things where it's like they don't like each other because they're baby daddy. But if they're cool, like, why wouldn't they? Fantasies, man. I've never. Have you been with two dudes. Have you ever been to Eiffel Tower? It's never been one of my fantasies. I've never. It's too much dong. Like, where are you going to put that?

[Guest 1]

One is enough.

[Host 1]

Where are you going to put that other thing? You know, not the back door.

[Guest 1]

I'm overstimulated, partner.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, yeah. Like, get away.

[Mimi]

I'm busy.

[Host 1]

Slap it away while you're working on one. Yeah, Like, I just. It's too much. So I say, ask the baby daddies, man. What do you got to lose? They'll probably think you're insane, but at.

[Guest 1]

The same time, you might be a little awkward.

[Host 1]

You'll plant the seed and they might give it to you for Christmas.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Start at Halloween.

[Guest 1]

Just make sure they use protection.

[Host 1]

Oh, God. Then you won't know whose baby it is. Oh, yeah. All right. That's a Maury show. Yeah, that's a frickin Maury showing.

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[Mimi]

Oh, I'm coming in hot.

[Host 1]

Ready?

[Guest 1]

Let's better not be behind. I swear to God.

[Mimi]

Oh, no.

[Host 1]

This was.

[Mimi]

This was a private message. Okay, read it.

[Host 1]

No, but I think. Didn't we send it to Haley too?

[Mimi]

Oh, I only sent it to you.

[Host 1]

Oh. Oh my God.

[Mimi]

I can't wait to see you told her. All right. And I cannot say this person's name because this has to stay private. I am sure.

[Host 1]

It's so gross.

[Guest 1]

Oh, this is good. This is good.

[Mimi]

I'm hoping this is the correct way for a tell, but I must remain anonymous because I don't want to lose my job. I am a nurse who works in the operating room. We had a patient come in for a foreign object stuck in their rectum.

[Host 1]

Oh, here we go. Just hit on me.

[Mimi]

And they had to have it surgically removed. The entire staff was aware that the foreign object was a vibrator, but once it was removed, I said, that's a Honey Bunny vibrator. So of course I had to tell the entire OR staff all about you girls. The reason for this tell is because the patient asked for it back because they want to bring it to a meet and greet to get signed. Girls, please do not sign any vibrators. You literally have no idea where they've been.

[Host 1]

Don't do that.

[Mimi]

Don't ever do that.

[Host 1]

Don't do that. I don't want your little dookie stick. Okay. Do not bring dookie sticks to freaking. Was it in her butt or vagina?

[Guest 1]

Big ones.

[Host 1]

It was in her butt.

[Mimi]

It was in her butt.

[Host 1]

How did she. Okay, I need to know how she got it up there.

[Mimi]

You don't put anything in there that doesn't have a stopper.

[Host 1]

What'd you say?

[Guest 1]

It's a. Send us a video.

[Host 1]

Yeah. Oh, man. Do you remember the time we watched that girl shove a traffic cone inside of her?

[Guest 1]

Yes.

[Host 1]

That was crazy.

[Mimi]

Oh, in the tentacle.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Oh, remember that one time you made me watch that guy?

[Guest 1]

We showed Jay, too. Didn't you show.

[Host 1]

Wait, what guy? What'd the guy do?

[Mimi]

You made me watch that dude back into the one that was suctioned up to the wall.

[Host 1]

Oh, is that the guy that sent it to me on my only fans. And because I had to see it, I had to share it with you.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Guys used to send me the weirdest shit on my only fans. Sorry, SEO. I know Bestio is gonna fucking probably make us cut this, but I did have an only fans in my former life, okay? And in the dms. I don't know why guys thought it would turn me on, but they would send me videos of them, like, backing into things.

[Mimi]

Oh, yeah.

[Host 1]

Like, that's not my kink. If that's your kink, I love that for you go off, shorty. But that's not my kink. And I was just. I mean, he was.

[Mimi]

She said, if I see this, you have to see this.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Glad I didn't see this.

[Host 1]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. So, ladies, please. I love you guys. I love all of your orifices, all of your holes. I'll sign whatever you want me to sign, but I'm not signing something that's been in you. Okay, May. I'll do the little carpaccio around your butthole. Whatever you want me to do. But not signing the caraccio, the break it. Not signing something that you had to have dis. Dislodged out of you surgically. Surgically.

[Mimi]

It's great. Yeah. I mean, at least we know they work.

[Host 1]

I hope she had a good time.

[Mimi]

I mean. Yeah. Did you like it?

[Guest 1]

The money?

[Mimi]

Yeah. But our vibrators work. Ladies and gentlemen, sex education. Don't put anything up there that doesn't have a stopper.

[Guest 1]

Weren't they big?

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Yeah. Okay. She was getting going off.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

I mean, did it just suck it in like a.

[Host 1]

Well, what happens is, one time, Tasha was. Was using anal beads and she'll tell you the story. She tells the story all the time. But she orgasmed while the anal beads were in her, and it sucked them right up. Yeah, they had to pull them out one by one. Bloop, bloop, bloop. Like, yeah, it was bad. So I guess there's some sort of, like, when your body, the muscles tense up, it just sucks whatever's in your hole in there.

[Guest 1]

Like a vacuum.

[Host 1]

Yeah. Yeah. I've never had it happen to me, but I've heard stories.