Ask, Tell, Confess: Bunnie's New Beefy Boys

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde - "Ask, Tell, Confess: Bunnie's New Beefy Boys"

Episode Overview In the January 17, 2025 episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast titled "Ask, Tell, Confess: Bunnie's New Beefy Boys," host Bunnie XO and her co-hosts dive into the humorous and chaotic world of farm life. The episode primarily focuses on their recent adventures with acquiring new farm animals—specifically, cows and a mini donkey—and explores the ensuing challenges and comedic moments. Additionally, the hosts engage with their audience through the "Ask, Tell, Confess" segment, where listeners share personal stories, adding depth and relatability to the conversation.

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1. Acquiring the Beefy Boys: Cows and Donkeys

The episode kicks off with Bunnie XO and her co-hosts discussing their spontaneous venture into farming after unexpectedly acquiring cows. The conversation reveals how the addition of these animals was more serendipitous than planned, leading to a series of amusing anecdotes.

• Unexpected Farm Life:

  • Mimi shares, “I'm a cow farmer now” ([02:25]), highlighting the unanticipated shift in their lifestyle.

• Introducing the Donkey:

  • The group recounts how a mini donkey named Grizz became part of their farm family. Amidst laughter, Mimi describes Grizz as “a little show donkey” ([03:53]) with a delightful personality, contrasting sharply with their existing cows.

2. Integrating New Animals: Challenges and Comedy

As the hosts navigate their new roles as farmers, they encounter various challenges that lead to humorous situations and bonding moments.

• Animal Personalities:

  • The differences in temperament among the animals are evident. Mimi describes one cow, Crunch, as “he doesn’t give a fuck about nobody” ([08:04]), portraying him as having an attitude problem, while Grizz is depicted as outgoing and affectionate.

• Training Mishaps:

  • Jason shares a mishap where Grizz accidentally steps on his pinky toe ([17:15]), adding a layer of practical challenges to their farming journey.

• Animal Dynamics:

  • The interactions between the animals are both endearing and chaotic. Mimi humorously notes, “Brownie was headbutting S'more” ([12:32]), illustrating the playful yet sometimes troublesome behavior of the cows.

3. Embracing the Farmer Lifestyle: Stereotypes and Realities

The hosts delve into the stereotypes associated with farmers, blending humor with genuine reflections on their new lifestyle.

• Farmer Fantasies:

  • Mimi expresses a whimsical desire for her husband to embody the classic farmer image: “wearing overalls and just big old... my husband” ([19:30]).

• Dating and Farming:

  • The conversation shifts to the dating scene within the farming community. Mimi jokes about joining farmersonly.com, saying, “These are my friends. Cows. I just thought I needed it to be on this website” ([18:39]).

• Work-Life Balance:

  • The hosts acknowledge the demanding nature of farm life, balancing it with their personal lives and relationships, often leading to humorous exchanges about their adaptability.

4. Ask, Tell, Confess: Listener Story

In the interactive "Ask, Tell, Confess" segment, listener Nicole shares a gripping tale of discovering her boyfriend's infidelity and taking matters into her own hands.

• Discovery of Cheating:

  • Nicole recounts finding out her boyfriend was cheating after he repeatedly postponed their plans to visit a fair. “[...] I ended up finding out he took this girl to the fair that I had been begging to go to” ([22:45]).

• Vigilante Justice:

  • Fueled by betrayal, Nicole narrates her retaliation: “I blasted Carrie Underwood before he sheets all the way to his truck. Needless to say, I flashed the hole in all four tires” ([24:31]).

• Further Acts of Defiance:

  • Mimi chimes in with her own stories of confronting cheating partners, sharing, “We went to the store and bought like, it had to have been like three of those, you know, double stacked egg things [...] we pelted his car with every one of these eggs” ([25:28]).

• Moral Reflections:

  • While the hosts acknowledge the frustration of dealing with deceit, they emphasize that such actions are driven by genuine hurt, concluding with, “He deserves it” ([26:35]), yet they caution listeners not to engage in harmful retaliations.

5. Humor Amidst Chaos: Bonding Over Farm Mishaps

Throughout the episode, the hosts maintain a lighthearted tone, finding humor in their farming struggles and the antics of their animals.

• Animal Antics:

  • From Grizz breaking into the house to Crunch's jealousy over his new cow brother, the hosts share laugh-out-loud moments that showcase their ability to find joy amidst chaos.

• Personal Stories:

  • Mimi and Jason’s playful banter about adjusting to farm life and their evolving relationships with their spouses adds a personal touch, making their experiences relatable and entertaining for listeners.

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Notable Quotes:

• Mimi on Becoming a Farmer:

  • “I'm a cow farmer now” ([02:25])

• Mimi Describing Crunch:

  • “He doesn’t give a fuck about nobody” ([08:04])

• Nicole’s Retaliation Against Cheating Boyfriend:

  • “I flashed the hole in all four tires” ([24:31])

• Mimi on Dating Farmers:

  • “These are my friends. Cows. I just thought I needed it to be on this website” ([18:39])

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Conclusion

In "Ask, Tell, Confess: Bunnie's New Beefy Boys," the Dumb Blonde podcast delivers a blend of humor, heartfelt stories, and engaging discussions about unexpected farm life. Bunnie XO and her co-hosts navigate the trials and tribulations of integrating new animals into their lives, all while maintaining their signature comedic flair. The episode not only entertains but also invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences through the shared stories in the "Ask, Tell, Confess" segment, making it a relatable and enjoyable listen for those who may not have experienced farm life firsthand.

Transcript

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[Haley]

Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon?

[Mimi]

I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon.

[Haley]

Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny xo show. We have Meet the D fors. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding.

[Mimi]

And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast.

[Haley]

Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumblonpodcast and sign up Ask Tell Confetti.

[Buggy]

Ask to conf.

[Jason]

Best.

[Mimi]

Hello, friends.

[Haley]

Welcome to Astal Compare.

[Mimi]

I did a short one for all the people at home who get upset whenever I forever in their ear staccato. Hi guys. Happy New Year.

[Jason]

Oh, it is the new year.

[Mimi]

We're one week in of the new year. So this is going to come out when? In like a day or two. Yeah, I've ended up with cows. I somehow have. I'm a cow farmer now.

[Jason]

And I ended up with a cow.

[Chachi]

Yeah, I did not.

[Jason]

For everyone asking, Haley does not have a cow.

[Chachi]

No.

[Jason]

Okay. And you not only are a cow.

[Mimi]

Mom, Donkey, we've got a dog. We call him Donk. Oh, I love Donk the dunk. Well, I call him Donk. Jay calls him Donkey. He is so excited. I can't believe that video ended up getting 14 million views.

[Jason]

That's damn Crazy.

[Mimi]

Who knew farm content got so many views? I'm gonna be out there with the cows every day. Danny, your donkey's here.

[Buggy]

I see it.

[Mimi]

How's my hair look? Ravishing.

[Buggy]

First impressions last a lifetime. It's my first time seeing donkeys.

[Mimi]

You have any words before you meet your donkey?

[Buggy]

I'm excited. The donkey's gonna love me. We're in Friends forever.

[Mimi]

Do you want to send him a.

[Buggy]

Message to future donkey, I loved you from day one. There's no way he's standing up right now.

[Mimi]

He's standing up.

[Sponsor Announcer]

No, no.

[Buggy]

I'm telling you, he's laying down.

[Mimi]

No, he's standing up.

[Buggy]

That dog. That donkey's not that small.

[Mimi]

He's that small. He's a mini dog.

[Buggy]

Oh, this is the best donkey ever. Oh, my God, he's standing up. What's up? Donkey? Donkey, Donkey, donkey. Oh, look at dude.

[Mimi]

Oh, he's a little show donkey.

[Buggy]

Look at him strutting.

[Jason]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mimi]

He's so cute. But he's so cute.

[Buggy]

It's our grass now.

[Mimi]

How are you feeling right now?

[Chachi]

I'm worried.

[Buggy]

He's a wild donkey. Look, they're struggling. I mean, he's a stubborn. They're struggling to get him in the fence. I like the donkey. Look at him. I can't believe he's that small. Oh, I love the little donkey. Look at his little white nose.

[Mimi]

People say I exploit. I exploit the kids, man. I'm going to exploit the out of these cows content. Can't wait. I'm just going to be like, out there. You guys are going to be like, okay, does she ever not hang out with the cows? What's happening?

[Jason]

No. Both of our pages right now are just cows.

[Mimi]

Yeah, Cow and donkey. No, but, yeah, that was what happened, was it kind of fell into our lap. And in a way, I. I just want to let people know. Everybody's like, you guys should have rescued. You should have done this. In a way, we kind of did rescue.

[Jason]

Absolutely.

[Mimi]

Of course we paid for the cows, but at the same time, these cows were gonna get split up or they were gonna go to separate homes. So what we did is we just went in, got all three of them, and let's tell the story because we can insert the footage now. I didn't want to post it because I didn't want people to be like, what a. You know, but what happened? So when Mimi had found these cows, she's like, these three are being sold for X amount of dollars. And I was like, okay, cool. So I immediately hit Jason. And Jason and I had been looking for a cow for you and Kayla. Anyways.

[Jason]

No.

[Mimi]

So we had already been playing.

[Jason]

I had no idea, guys.

[Chachi]

Yeah, I love that.

[Jason]

I legit thought they were just getting. I knew that Kayla was getting.

[Mimi]

I would never just get Kayla a cow and not get you one.

[Jason]

Yeah. But I really didn't think Jason would have let me.

[Mimi]

But anyways, honestly, I gotta give Shout out. Blizzard Blake, Kayla's husband. It was really his idea, and I just took it over, like, I do with everything. That's why I know they don't ever let me get involved in. Because I'm like, oh, my idea. Okay, cool. But he let me do the whole thing. So anyways, we were. Me, Blake, and Jason were literally sending each other cows this, cows that, cows that. And then Mimi was sending us cows. Well, Mimi sent me the three, and I was like, oh, my God, it's perfect. There's a white one, there's a brown one, and then there's a black one.

[Jason]

Emo.

[Mimi]

Tonight will be the night. You know, it was perfect. And I was just like, okay, cool, we'll get. We'll take these two. Because immediately, Blake was like, kayla's gonna want either the brown one or the white one. And I was like, I'll either want the brown one or the white one. And then Mimi, our little goth duckling, gets the goth one. You know, we get there, and the goth one is a little bit bigger than the rest of them, a little.

[Jason]

Twice the size of the other two.

[Mimi]

He actually looks like a lightweight buffalo.

[Jason]

I call him Buffalo often.

[Mimi]

Yes, he looks like a little buffalo, so. But he has the best personality out of all three of them. Like, he is so sweet, very outgoing. So, you know, we surprised Buggy, and I'm like, okay, Buggy, which one do you want? Buggy's like, I want the white one. And then I looked over at Mimi, and I was like, and that one's yours. You know? And Mimi was like, no. And me and Jason both go. We look at each other, and she's like, no.

[Jason]

Grateful. I promise. I.

[Mimi]

No, no, no. She didn' Evil. She was sizing him up. Like, do we have room for this guy? Big dude.

[Jason]

I have one acre. He. No. Like, when you meet him, you guys, he's big. He broke my toe. Like, he's a big guy.

[Mimi]

Yeah. And he's. And he's an Aries. So he literally, like.

[Chachi]

Is that how he walks?

[Mimi]

Literally, his head movement. Like, he's always moving his head and, like, bucking and just, like, He's. He's a. A beefy boy.

[Jason]

And I'm the little kid. Oh, he knows.

[Mimi]

Yeah. So me. He was like, no. And I was like, are you sure? And she's like, no. And I was like, all right, well. And the dude was like, I can't split them up. And I was like. I felt really bad because I didn't want to be like, okay, I'll take these two and you stay, you know, like, be the outcast of the crew. So I was like, fuck it, I'll take all three of them. So we get them home and, you know, Jason text me, he's like, I did not see it going that way. And I was like, yeah, me either. But I. I didn't care because, you know, it's like, whatever. Everything happens for a reason.

[Jason]

Let's also say I don't do good with last minute changes, right? So you can't surpr. Surprise me. This is why I don't do good with surprises, because I already. I need to evaluate everything and I panic.

[Mimi]

Yeah. So they had gone to go look at, like, other. Other cows or whatever, and I was just coping with the fact that I have three cows now. And, you know, I went out there to feed them the next day. And he's just. With such a big dude that he just, like, bullies his way through. And, like, the other two are so much smaller than him. And S'more is so docile, and he's so sw. Oh, he's just like. He is so. He is Buggy. If Bug was a Highland cow, that is Bug, like. And he is so bonded to Bug, he goes up to her and just lays his head on her and, like, snuggles on her like he loves her. Crunch is all me, baby. Yeah. I love Crunch. Crunch don't give a fuck about nobody. He's got an attitude problem. And he's just like, dude, if you're not feeding me, bye. You know, like, he does not care. But he. But he loves me now because I'll go out there and I'll be like, hi, Crunch.

[Jason]

Crunch.

[Mimi]

And look, he gets really jealous. He gets really jealous. It's.

[Chachi]

I gotta watch another animal.

[Mimi]

Yes. I gotta watch what I say whenever I'm around Chachi because he gets holding.

[Jason]

Down as they were being unloaded and he had a full panic attack.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Chachi]

The pan over to say Zang. Chachi's having a breakdown. Sent me the funniest part of the whole video.

[Mimi]

He was. He was. And so I just was like, I felt bad because one, we have them in a smaller pin right now. I know he's pissed. He's looking for Crunch. You can't say Crunch's name around him. He gets really, just defensive. It's okay, baby. Why is the heat on? Hell, the door's normally open.

[Jason]

Can you open the door?

[Chachi]

Lord, he's literally like rolling his eyes right now.

[Mimi]

No, he's. He gets so mad if I. If I say it again, he'll get up and run around. You want me to do it?

[Chachi]

Please.

[Mimi]

Crunch.

[Haley]

Crunch.

[Mimi]

I love you, Crunchy. Crunchy. Oh my goodness. Crunch. Crunch. He's like, where?

[Chachi]

Where is the son of a.

[Mimi]

He's so jealous of his new cow brother. It's unreal, dude. Like he. It's okay. It's okay. I love you. Crunchy is not here. He's not here.

[Haley]

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[Mimi]

I don't know about you guys, but.

[Haley]

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[Mimi]

I know that.

[Haley]

Especially after 40, it is so hard to keep your body in shape. I mean, I work out three to.

[Mimi]

Four times a week, eat right, have no joy in life, and it's all because of genetics.

[Haley]

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[Mimi]

1.

[Haley]

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[Mimi]

L o.com bunny so, anyways, long story short, Brownie, we. We. His name went from Milk Dud to Brownie because I hated the Milk Dud. And who's now Pablo Escal Bar. Brownie was headbutting S'more. And I was just. And you heard it. It was like. Like, it. The lights were on and nobody's home. And S'more does not have a big brain. It echoed, okay? It was like a hallway. It was really bad, and I felt so bad for him. I even have it on video. I'm like, brownie, like, you just fucking headbutted the shit out of your brother. And so Jay, my husband, came to me and said that he was really upset because everybody else in the family got a farm animal, and he didn't get one. And I looked at him, and I was like, are you really upset? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, what do you want? He's like, I want a donkey. And I was like, just like that. I was like, okay. So somehow, I think, was it you that found the donkey?

[Jason]

I had gone out to the farm that night when we dropped off the cows, and we went to this farm up the. Like, about an hour away from our house. And they had a donkey there.

[Mimi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they happened to have a mini donkey that was like. I think it's like four years old, right? Yeah, they had a mini donkey there named Grizz. So I was like, okay, bring them on. Bring them on. So we get. We have all four of the animals in there. And while they were there, I was just like, Mimi had decided. I had texted Mimi that morning, and I was like, I think we're gonna have to get rid of Brownie because he's way too aggressive. Hoping that was me, like, throwing the hook out there, hoping that she would Be like, we'll take him. And it actually did work out because Mimi was like, okay, I've had time to think about it. And she's like, I really want him. And I was like, oh, my God, this is perfect. I text Jason. I'm like, she wants. Well, Jason was texting me saying, I don't care if she gets mad at me. Just bring the fudgeing cow over here. Is. He's like. He's like, she's either going to get mad at me or she's going to fudgeing. Be happy. He's like, so either way, if she. If she flips out when. When the cow gets here, we'll just figure something out. He's like, but I really think that she's going to fall in love with this cow.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

And then Mimi had text me and said, okay, we want the cow. So I hit Jason. I was like, she knows that she wants the cow. And he's like, that's fudgeing great. So we load up the cow. Okay? And this is the sad part. We load up Brownie. We say goodbye. He starts crying because he's so bonded to s'more. And crunch and crunch is like. Like, crying over the thing. He's crying. I mean, it was NASA. Bailey starts crying. Like, it was a whole scene in our front yard. But I was like, you know what? They're cousins. Like, yeah. And he's going to an amazing home. So Mimi gets Pablito.

[Jason]

Oh, sweet.

[Mimi]

And he hasn't stopped crying.

[Jason]

No. He tried to break into my house. So we understand that they're herd animals. We are working very digital, like, diligently. Diligently. I almost said digitally to find him a friend, but again, I wasn't prepared to bring home this large of an animal. So we have to build him a pin. He's now in Opie's run right now, destroying it, by the way. And we have to. We have to literally bring someone out to build him a pin and an overhang. Like, we weren't prepared. Like, I thought I would have something small that could go into the garage. And, like, he couldn't even fit through a doorway if he wanted to with his horn. Like, he's ginormous. So, big boy, we are. We are doing our best to accommodate him first so that when we do bring him in a friend then. But right now, he's upset because he doesn't have a friend.

[Mimi]

But he loves Zach, Top.

[Chachi]

He loves.

[Jason]

Yeah. He bonded to me. So he tries to come in my bedroom window at night and so he broke my screen open. He got his head stuck in the fence. But if I play him Zach Topp, he just really just chills out. So, like, we found that out on.

[Mimi]

My life as a joke. Beethoven, though.

[Jason]

I'll try that.

[Mimi]

I heard he. I heard cows love classical music.

[Jason]

I'm gonna have to try it because it's.

[Chachi]

There's a frequency in it maybe.

[Mimi]

I don't know.

[Chachi]

Because there's a frequency in classical music, apparently, that's completely different from other facts.

[Jason]

He's gonna go have a play date, though. So he's on his way to a playdate with the horses that Olivia rides.

[Mimi]

Oh, God. Is he gonna buck them, though? He's. He's.

[Jason]

I mean, it's. It's like a. They all have their stalls and stuff, and he'll go out into the big run, and there's. He's gonna pick him up in trailer.

[Chachi]

Okay.

[Jason]

I put him in the back of my car.

[Mimi]

What I was thinking is a big boy.

[Jason]

No, his.

[Mimi]

He doesn't even look that big on camera. You get him in person, and he's lightweight, intimidating.

[Jason]

Me. Yeah. No, like, Jason's, actually. So I found out Jason's scared of him.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Jason]

I'm very confidently, like, loving on him.

[Mimi]

If you're assertive with him, he'll listen.

[Jason]

Oh, I know. Like, I. He got into my chicken feed, and it's really bad for cows, so I literally had to grab him by the tail and the horn and, like, eat him out of there because they've got so many metals in chicken food, it could hurt the cow. So I had to get him out of there. Well, as that was all going down, I. We were like, okay, we'll go back in your pin for right now. We'll clean up the chicken feed. You can come back out into the large run. And I got a little too confident with him, and he got pissed and stepped back and, like, full force stepped on my pinky toe. So I got a broken toe right now right at the knuckle. It sucks, but it. I mean, it's part of it, you know?

[Mimi]

Yes. I mean, we're farmers now.

[Jason]

Yeah, we're farmers now.

[Mimi]

Farmersonly.com oh, we could sign up.

[Jason]

Can we please put you on there just to see? You want a blue collar man so bad, dude.

[Mimi]

Can we please do it? You guys? Should we put Haley on farmersonly.com? let's video the whole. The whole thing.

[Jason]

Yeah, we'll swipe together.

[Mimi]

Oh, we're doing it today, baby.

[Jason]

It's happening after that Today.

[Chachi]

Oh, little.

[Mimi]

Get your picture. What's your profile picture gonna be on? Farmers only.

[Jason]

We'll go get a picture of you with the cows.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Okay.

[Jason]

You and Crunch. Yeah.

[Mimi]

Oh, Crunchy.

[Chachi]

Asking me questions about cows. I know nothing.

[Mimi]

Just be like, I don't know. I just. These are my friends. Cows. I just thought I needed it to be on this website.

[Chachi]

It's a photo shoot. Listen, every picture is a dip. Is like different cows.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Farmers make money. One of my sugar daddies was a watermelon farmer.

[Jason]

Nice.

[Mimi]

Bro. Was loaded.

[Jason]

We're gonna start a farm. That's my next venture.

[Chachi]

Yeah, I love a farmer.

[Mimi]

So are we. We're gonna. Our next adventure is pigs.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Chachi]

I grew up on a farm. I'd like another.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

It's time for you, Haley.

[Chachi]

It's time for you settle down on the farm.

[Mimi]

Well, we gotta. We gotta. She had a hard time moving this last time. She's finally adjusted to her place, so maybe it took six months. Yeah. So maybe we let her stay there for a couple of years and then we move her.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Yeah. Haley doesn't do good with moves.

[Chachi]

No.

[Jason]

We just have to get a boyfriend who lives on a farm so you can go visit.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Start getting.

[Mimi]

Would you date a big old corn fed booty?

[Sponsor Announcer]

I.

[Mimi]

When I picture farmers, I picture just big old rumps.

[Jason]

Do you?

[Mimi]

Yeah. In my farmer fantasy. Yes, that's what's happening.

[Jason]

Just bigger.

[Mimi]

Just wearing overalls and just big old. Like my husband.

[Haley]

Oh, when Jay wears overalls.

[Mimi]

I will suck him off in a heartbeat. Yeah, always. Always. Good. You know what I was just thinking that we made it through an ass tell confess without anything sexual or disgusting brought it up. I listen.

[Chachi]

You always bring up the butts.

[Mimi]

Listen, all I think about is my husband in overalls. He looks so hot.

[Jason]

I will say the coolest thing is watching my husband turn into a farmer. I'm like, that's. Put that vest on. You look hot in a vest. Like, he got these car heart looking vests now to put over his hoodies when he goes out.

[Mimi]

Give me some for Jay. I will show you where to get him.

[Jason]

Yeah. No, he just literally, he's obsessed. He got one and he was like, how do I look? And I was like, I actually really like the vest on him. I always clown people.

[Mimi]

Would you suck them off with just the vest on?

[Chachi]

Yeah, there we go.

[Jason]

I would, I would, I would. He's gonna be editing this and he's gonna come downstairs and just. The best guys.

[Mimi]

But he has to have the boots on. So Only yes. With a piece of straw hanging.

[Jason]

Yeah. Oh, give it to me.

[Mimi]

Jason, I'm painting a fantasy for you right now. That's so funny.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's good. What's gonna happen? But, yeah, I'll get.

[Mimi]

And then the cow will be in the beginning watching you guys in the shower.

[Chachi]

She said she'll look out the window.

[Mimi]

And he's just staying.

[Jason]

I will take a picture, you guys, if I have time to close all my blinds in the back of the house. Because he's like this.

[Mimi]

Oh. All the time. He wants to know what you're doing.

[Jason]

He wants it. And if I start walking inside, I can hear him behind me. He's chasing after me as I go towards the back door. And then he gets up there and he gets to it because he doesn't like to get on the concrete. And he just puts one foot on the concrete, looks at me, and I'm like, go away. And he's just.

[Mimi]

I love that you guys. Funny. Are getting to bond, though, because he's an Aries. And so Jason's in Aries. Mimi is a Taurus, but she's got a Aries stellium. I think she has, like, six planets instead.

[Jason]

Crunch has my birthday, and his name's Crunch.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Chachi]

Oh, yeah.

[Mimi]

Crunchy muffin.

[Jason]

Isn't that.

[Chachi]

We're not weird.

[Mimi]

I also, Chachi's real name is Crochet, after Jim Croce. So I've got Croatian Crunch. I. I say it all the time. That's why Chachi really jealous, too, because he hears the.

[Jason]

You know, it's close.

[Mimi]

What do you call. Are you calling this dog my name? Like he hates it. Yeah, but he's better now.

[Jason]

Lo. Well, in our Asel confess, we have now set up for you guys to be able to call in and tell us your Asel confesses. You can text it or you can call it.

[Mimi]

Yeah. This happened without my knowledge, so I love it.

[Jason]

We talked about it.

[Mimi]

I forgot. I didn't know we were starting it yet. Should we give the number out so people can call?

[Jason]

Only on Patreon. You can go to the Patreon to get the number and you can text it, or you can call it any.

[Mimi]

Love, any tier on Patreon.

[Jason]

Yep. Yep. As long as you're a Patreon, you can be a part of our. Our callins. We. We got a lot. There was a lot to go through, so we're not going to play all of them, but let's find a good one.

[Mimi]

We've got time for one today, and then the next episode, we'll do more.

[Jason]

All right, let's see.

[Nicole]

Hi, babies.

[Jason]

Can you hear that?

[Nicole]

My Name's Nicole. Like 10 years ago or so, I found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me with a much younger girl. And I had been begging to go to this fair. And he kept telling me, like, oh, no, I don't feel like it. Like, he kept putting it off. Well, I ended up finding out somehow that he took this girl to the fair that I had been begging to go to. After the statin of the fair, I didn't like, obviously didn't know he was there, but he invited me to his house that night to spend the night with him. But then I couldn't find his phone anywhere. He had his phone hidden between the bed, like the mattress and the wall, which was so weird. So not like him. I went in his phone, found all the messages from this girl, blah, blah, blah. The next day he turned it around. It was all my fault that he did this to me. So I ended up finding out where his car was parked, his truck, and I blasted Carrie Underwood before he sheets all the way to his truck. Needless to say, I flashed the hole in all four tires. Maybe next time he'll think before he freaking cheats. Okay, I'm not completely proud of what I did, but at the same time, he deserved it. So that's my story. I love you guys.

[Mimi]

Yeah, we love her. What was her name? Nicole.

[Jason]

Nicole.

[Mimi]

Listen, man, I don't condone violence, but I had to think of what I was. How I was gonna put this. I don't condone violence anymore in my old age. But listen, I've done some up to dudes I've caught cheating.

[Jason]

Like, what's one of them?

[Mimi]

One of the milder ones that I can't be, that I can talk about would be the. I had an ex named Clint who was cheating on me. And I was like, in love with this dude. And he's like freckles, like, red hair, like, dude. But he was like. He was like, so dope and like, he was like, like one of the coolest dudes. And he was in a gang and like, you know, he was just super alpha. He's a Sagittarius. Go figure. I end up marrying a Sagittarius.

[Chachi]

That one threw me off.

[Mimi]

What?

[Jason]

Not the ginger in the game.

[Mimi]

Fight like a. The dude was crazy, and I think that's what I'm attracted to. So anyways, he was cheating on me and I caught him at his baby mama's house and his car was parked outside, so Tasha was with me, and I think it was me, Tasha and my girl Stacy. And we. We went to the store and bought like, it had to have been like three of those, you know, double stacked egg things, you know what I'm talking about? That has all the eggs, the flats. Just the big old flats of eggs. And we went back to his house and. Or to her, the baby mama's house. And I'm talking like, just pelted his car with every one of these eggs, dude.

[Haley]

And this is in Vegas.

[Mimi]

Vegas heat shit dries on your car, like if you don't catch it, right? So, I mean, we're. He must have thought it was gunshots because it was literally just so many eggs, but it's three girls just fucking going at it. Dude. Dude, we fucking take off, dude. We get to one of the lights up by the Mormon temple in Vegas and fucking all of a sudden we're sitting at the light and we see his car pull up to the light with fucking. Just eggs covering this car. I mean, the shit was still dripping off of it and he's just looking in every direction to see who egged his fucking car.

[Jason]

No.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Did he see you?

[Mimi]

No, never got caught.

[Jason]

What? No way.

[Mimi]

I told him later on, but yeah.

[Chachi]

He pulled up next to you and didn't see you.

[Mimi]

He was across. So we were making a left and he was right here, so.

[Jason]

Oh my God, I'm so glad we.

[Mimi]

Didn'T caught in that moment though, because he would have probably lost his but. And he was mad when I told him later on, like, hey, remember when your car got egged, it was me.

[Jason]

You told him?

[Mimi]

Of course. That is too good of a story to not ever claim. What are you talking about? Been since like probably a couple months. It was probably.

[Chachi]

Oh, he's still mad. I thought you meant this was like years later.

[Mimi]

No, no, no. I told him a couple months later. I was like, oh, by the way, that was me. Yeah, there's a few other things, but saying that much, Nicole, I mean, listen.

[Chachi]

I didn't see anything.

[Mimi]

These dudes.

[Jason]

I didn't hear a single word you said.

[Mimi]

Yeah, don't start. None, won't be none. Yeah, My slogan. So, I mean, we love you, our fellow violent baddie. At least it wasn't him. She slashed, you know.

[Chachi]

Yeah, it could have been worse.

[Jason]

Yeah, it could have been way more right now.

[Mimi]

Yeah, tires can be replaced, but anybody that's listening to this, do not go and slash anybody's tires because we. We think it's okay. We don't think it's okay. We just mean that, like, you know, we understand in that moment that you were filled with rage.

[Jason]

Yeah. And I'm pretty sure insurance only covers it when it's all four, so only do three.

[Mimi]

Yeah, always. Always. Or put sugar in there. Or put sugar in the gas tank. That always helps. What does that do up your entire car completely?

[Chachi]

Sugar.

[Jason]

Sugar in the gas tank.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Or the vents that are in the front.

[Mimi]

I can see the headline now. Bunny XO teaches young girls how to their. Their significant other's cars up.

[Jason]

Yeah, it's. It's pretty. The vents that are at the bottom of the front windshield.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Poor piss in there. Whole car smell like piss every time the AC on, huh?

[Mimi]

All right, thank you guys for listening to another asshole confessed. Bye.