Ask, Tell, Confess: Chaos, Cringe, and Castration

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde – Episode: "Ask, Tell, Confess: Chaos, Cringe, and Castration"

Release Date: August 1, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast, host Bunnie XO, alongside co-hosts Haley, Mimi, and Mo, delves into a mix of hilarious and candid discussions surrounding personal mishaps, farm life challenges, intimate confessions, and societal observations. True to the podcast's description, the conversation balances comedy with relatable life experiences, encouraging listeners to laugh, relate, and embrace personal growth.

---

1. Awkward Encounters and Personal Confessions

The episode kicks off with the hosts sharing cringe-worthy and chaotic personal stories. Haley narrates an unsettling experience involving a recent romantic encounter that took an unexpected turn:

Haley (09:07): "I invited him over and somehow he convinced me to have sexual relations with him in the car. During it, he kept pulling in and out of me. It was so dark I couldn't tell what he was doing."

This confession sets the tone for the episode, highlighting the theme of unexpected and uncomfortable moments in personal relationships.

Mimi adds her own tale of embarrassment:

Mimi (06:50): "I was driving down a not-so-great part of town when intense stomach pain hit me. I had to use period pads to wipe with, luckily finding a dumpster nearby."

The hosts engage in a light-hearted yet empathetic discussion about these uncomfortable experiences, fostering a sense of camaraderie and shared humanity.

---

2. Farm Life: Trials and Hilarious Mishaps

Transitioning from personal anecdotes, the conversation shifts to the challenges of farm life. Haley discusses the difficulties of maintaining a pond on her farm:

Haley (16:39): "The hardest thing about the farm is the damn pond. It has been a nightmare for me."

Mimi and Mo chime in with humorous takes on animal behavior, particularly focusing on Haley’s cow, Crunch:

Mimi (18:26): "Crunch started humping chairs and even tried to mount Bailey. It got so bad that we had to consider castrating him."

Haley recounts the stressful yet comical process of addressing Crunch's behavior:

Haley (19:08): "Dr. Pack said we have to castrate him. At first, I thought it sounded terrible, but eventually, we had to go through with it."

The group shares laughs over the outcome, reflecting on the unpredictable nature of farm life and the learning curve involved.

---

3. Navigating Online Relationships and Boundaries

Back to personal stories, Haley shares another online interaction gone wrong:

Haley (10:17): "A few weeks later, I get a text from a random number asking if I wanted to game. Turns out, it was the same guy I had the awkward car encounter with."

This segment explores the complexities of online interactions and the importance of setting boundaries, all delivered with the hosts' characteristic humor.

---

4. Intimate Moments and Relationship Advice

The hosts delve into more intimate and sometimes painful experiences. Mimi recounts a night out that turned uncomfortable:

Mimi (26:12): "About 10 years ago, after a late night of partying, my husband poured whiskey all over my raw vagina during sex. It was painful, and the next morning I was in so much pain."

Haley responds with practical advice, emphasizing the importance of using lubricant:

Haley (27:11): "There's a thing called lube that you can use. I would use olive oil or coconut oil before pouring anything like that."

This honest conversation provides listeners with both entertainment and valuable insights into maintaining healthy intimate relationships.

---

5. Safety and Personal Security

Shifting gears, the hosts discuss personal safety and experiences with harassment. Haley shares a frightening encounter in a salon:

Mimi (34:38): "I opened the door and a dude rushed me from the side. I locked the door, called 911, and hid as he was apprehended by the police."

The conversation emphasizes the importance of staying alert and prepared, with Mimi sharing her proactive measures:

Mimi (35:34): "I keep a gun in my hoodie. If someone approaches me aggressively, I'm ready to defend myself."

This segment blends serious discussion with the group's supportive dynamic, highlighting the need for personal safety in today's world.

---

6. Nostalgia and Reflections on Modern Life

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts reminisce about the past, contrasting it with their current experiences:

Haley (36:15): "Sometimes I sit and wish I was a kid again. Back then, things felt safer and more carefree."

Mimi concurs, questioning whether perceptions of safety were influenced by less pervasive media:

Mimi (36:58): "Was it safer, or did we just not have enough social media and news outlets to highlight the bad stuff?"

This reflective conversation underscores the tension between nostalgic memories and the complexities of modern life, wrapping up the episode on a thoughtful note.

---

Conclusion

In "Ask, Tell, Confess: Chaos, Cringe, and Castration," Dumb Blonde delivers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and practical advice. The hosts navigate through a spectrum of topics—from embarrassing personal stories and the hurdles of farm life to intimate relationship insights and personal safety—offering listeners a relatable and entertaining experience. Not only do they entertain, but they also foster a sense of community and support, encouraging listeners to embrace their imperfections and find humor in life's unpredictability.

Notable Quotes:

• Haley (09:07): "I invited him over and somehow he convinced me to have sexual relations with him in the car. During it, he kept pulling in and out of me."
• Mimi (06:50): "I was driving down a not-so-great part of town when intense stomach pain hit me."
• Haley (16:39): "The hardest thing about the farm is the damn pond."
• Haley (27:11): "There's a thing called lube that you can use."
• Mimi (34:38): "I opened the door and a dude rushed me from the side."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of Dumb Blonde masterfully balances humor with serious themes, providing a platform for honest conversations that resonate with many. Whether discussing awkward moments, the trials of farm life, or reflections on personal safety, the hosts maintain an engaging and supportive dialogue that invites listeners to laugh, relate, and grow alongside them.

Transcript

[Bunny]

As summer winds down, I'm all about refreshing my wardrobe with staple pieces for the season ahead. Quince nails it with luxe essentials that feel effortless and look polished, perfect for layering and mixing. Their styles are so versatile, I find myself reaching for them again and again. Think chic cashmere and cotton sweaters Starting at just $40, washable silk tops and classic denim pants. Timeless styles you'll keep coming back to the best part. Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out middleman, Quint gives you luxury without the markup. And Quint only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. Lately, I've been all about Quince's everyday basics and gym wear. Their leggings and joggers are so comfy, I basically live in them, whether I'm.

[Haley]

Running errands or working out.

[Bunny]

Honestly, they feel way fancier than the price says. It's like wearing luxury without the guilt. If you want comfy, stylish stuff that doesn't break the bank quite, Quints is where it's at. I've had my eye on a few things from Quince, especially their linen bedding and their durable luggage for my next trip. What really stands out is how they nail the design and quality without the luxury price tag. The bedding feels so soft and breathable and perfect for summer nights. And the luggage? Sturdy, stylish and honestly, way more affordable than I expected. If you want pieces that look and feel high end without making your wallet cry, Quince is where I'm shopping right now. Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with quince. Go to quince.com bunny for free shipping on your orders and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.com B U N N I E to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.comb bunny nothing makes me a loyal customer faster than a great shipping experience. When things arrive on time, with tracking and no chaos, I'm way more likely to order again. That that's why ShipStation is a game changer for anyone running a business. It helps you ship faster, cheaper, and keeps your customers happy no matter where you sell. Make shipping the easy part with shipstation. If you run an e commerce business, you know the best way to be successful is to keep your customers happy. With Shipstation, you can sync orders from everywhere you sell into one dashboard and replace manual tasks with custom automations to reduce shipping errors. All at A fraction of the cost. I don't know who needs to hear this, but shipping doesn't have to be a headache. With ShipStation, you can handle all your orders in one place, set up automations and just make the whole process way smoother. And listen, the discounts are no joke. Their rate shopper finds the best deals so you're saving big without even trying. Like thousands big. If you're sending stuff out, do yourself a favor and use Shipstation. You never need to upgrade. Shipstation grows with you and your business. No matter how big it gets. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers. With discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates. Over 130,000 companies have grown their e commerce businesses with Shipstation. And 98% of companies that stick with Shipstation for a year become customers for life. When shoppers choose to buy your products, turn them into loyal customers with cheaper, faster and better shipping. Go to shipstation.com bunny to sign up for your free trial. There's no credit card or contract required and you can cancel any anytime. That's shipstation.com bunny hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Fords. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumblon podcast. Ask Tell Confetti.

[Mimi]

Ask, Tell Confess. Ask Tell Confess. Ask Tell Confess.

[Haley]

Hi, welcome to another Ask Tell.

[Mo]

Like me peeing at 3am had to.

[Haley]

Bring it back for old time's sake to piss some people off.

[Mo]

Kind of sounded like a teapot.

[Haley]

Yeah, Kettle Chachi's mad. He doesn't know what's happening over here. He's like, why is she whistling? Whistling in my ear.

[Mo]

Yeah, the word yeah.

[Bunny]

I'm a little teapot short and style. Here's my handle.

[Haley]

Here's my spout.

[Mo]

When I get off, they're still going.

[Haley]

I always forget. Remember when I had to sing it with all the people? I was like, I did the same thing. We all were like, we didn't know that part.

[Mimi]

Laughing. She's got a megaphone and she's just surrounded by a bunch of these Dudes and inmates, and they're just.

[Haley]

Yeah, no, it's crazy. All right, who's going to kick off Ass Talking Fest this week?

[Mimi]

I feel like you're itching to go. Ready?

[Mo]

No.

[Mimi]

Okay, hold on. I got one.

[Haley]

All right, go. I'm ready.

[Mimi]

This one. It's a parking lot situation.

[Mo]

God dang it.

[Haley]

I'm tired of you.

[Bunny]

Pick ones that aren't.

[Mo]

Okay.

[Haley]

God. You're no longer allowed. You're not allowed to talk about for at least five confesses.

[Mimi]

No, it hasn't. Oh, this one said, I was driving down a not so great part of town when the intense stomach pain hit me. I pulled into a Dollar General parking lot. The fact that it was a Dollar General parking lot. And opened my car door. Barely got my pants down before I leaned against my car and just let loose. I had to use period pads to wipe with. Luckily, there was a dumpster nearby. Also, thank goodness I had hand sanitizer with me as well. Well, after doing the business in the parking lot, I was afraid to leave it in case they tested it for DNA and I got in trouble.

[Mo]

That'd be me.

[Mimi]

The fact that she believed that is amazing. So I had some plastic Walma bags in my car, doubled them up, put them over my hands, and scooped up my poo, threw it in the dumpster. I was so worried for months that I would get busted, but my sister kept saying they probably would think it was just some crackhead that took a dump in the parking lot.

[Haley]

I mean, listen, baby girl, we've all outside that.

[Mimi]

She scooped that up is.

[Haley]

Have you shit outside?

[Mimi]

No, I haven't either. I've never even shit my pants.

[Haley]

No, me, I've shit outside a few times. One time I stuck a barrette in it like a flag.

[Mo]

Excuse me, what were you.

[Mimi]

Please tell me you were a kid.

[Haley]

I was a kid. I ran away from home in fifth grade to the desert across the street to get away. And what a. Vegas used to. Vegas used to have those thorn bushes, you know, that you could like, hide in. And they were like fucking like. Like penthouse thorn bush. Yeah, that's a thorn bush. But, like, they're hollowed out on the inside so, like, nobody could ever find through the thorns. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes they had, like, little doorways and shit in there, though. Like, it was like. Like ethereal. Yeah. And I convinced some other one of my classmates to run away with me, but I was so nervous I had to poop. So I just fucking shit a log in the thorn bush. And then I was like, I'm going.

[Bunny]

To put a barrette in it in case we get lost so we can.

[Haley]

Find our way back. So I put. Took a bread out of my hair and stuck it in my poop. So. Hey, listen, I think that was innovative for being. How old are you in fifth grade? 10?

[Mo]

Yeah, yeah, I think the was enough. Okay. I didn't think it was thick of a retina.

[Mimi]

So she knows that one's hers. Okay.

[Haley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, a lot of people are in the desert in Vegas.

[Mimi]

Oh yeah, I. I'd see that.

[Bunny]

Yeah, for sure.

[Mimi]

Gotcha. No, never pooped in public. I have seen her piss next to a dumpster one time. Do you remember that?

[Haley]

Oh, on the track.

[Mimi]

Rail.

[Mo]

No, we were in Vegas.

[Haley]

Remember on the track whenever I attracted.

[Mimi]

You because you tried to go into KFC and they wouldn't let you pee.

[Haley]

Yes, we did.

[Mimi]

And she. And she peed for so long, it just was running.

[Haley]

No, it was a river.

[Mimi]

It was a river.

[Haley]

No, it was like I had to peace so bad my eyes were floating. It was crazy.

[Mo]

I remember that. It was good times.

[Haley]

All right, I got one for you guys.

[Mimi]

All right.

[Haley]

This is a tell from Bri. Oh, there was one time I was.

[Bunny]

Gaming online when I met this guy that lived about 45 minutes away.

[Haley]

We started talking, getting to know one another. I'd recently just left my son's dad and was feeling down. So I invited him over.

[Bunny]

Well, I was young and nervous.

[Haley]

I wouldn't allow him to come inside because my son was home and I.

[Bunny]

Didn'T want to try anything with this stranger.

[Haley]

I somehow he convinced me to have.

[Bunny]

Sexual relations with him in the car.

[Haley]

During it, he kept pulling in and out of me. It was so. It was dark so I couldn't tell.

[Bunny]

What he was doing.

[Haley]

Later when he got home, he FaceTimed me saying how he had the greatest night and how he was about to go play with himself now. I asked him what he meant when.

[Bunny]

He held up a small dildo and said, I used this on you in.

[Haley]

The car and now I'm gonna go.

[Bunny]

Use it on myself.

[Haley]

I replied with, are you not going to wash it? He replied with why would I when.

[Bunny]

You'Re all over it?

[Haley]

Mind you, he had a 45 minute drive back home. I didn't even know he used it on me, let alone known he was going to use it with my dried juices all over it. So I blocked him on my socials.

[Bunny]

A few weeks later, I get a.

[Haley]

Text from a random number asking if I wanted to game. So I said, sure, figuring it was one of my many gaming friends. I hopped on, invited and invited them.

[Bunny]

We started gaming and the guy was talking to me like he knew me.

[Haley]

But I didn't recognize him. He finally asked, you don't remember me, do you? So I said, how can I? How can I when we've never met?

[Bunny]

He replied, we had sexual relations. It all hit me who it was.

[Haley]

So I gave him one courtesy game and said I had to get offline quickly, blocking him on the game and his number.

[Mimi]

What the fuck?

[Bunny]

Okay, confession time. I used to think budget was a fancy word for suggestion. Then I realized my daily snack attacks and impulse buyers were totally trashing my savings. That's when I found Chime. No fees, no drama. Just a smart way to keep my spending in check and still enjoy life. If you want to adult your money without feeling like a total buzzkill, Chime's your new best friend. Now through Chime you can be smarter about how you manage your credit scores. Build credit history with everyday purchases and regular on time payments. Plus get access to credit tracking tools and personalized tips for a stress free credit experience. All without credit checks, minimum deposits, annual fees or interest. Visit chime.com bunny to get started. I used think much about my credit until I realize it's what opens doors to better opportunities and easier approvals. Chime makes building credit simple and stress free so you can adult without the drama. One credit that actually works for you. Try Chime with the Chime Credit Builder.

[Haley]

Secured Visa Credit Card.

[Bunny]

You get the tools designed to help you build, protect and maintain your credit with less stress and increase your credit scores with automatic credit reporting. Make everyday purchases count with Chime Secured Credit Builder Visa Credit Card get started [e-mail] Bunny Chime feels like progress.

[Jessica]

The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the bank or bank and a or Stride bank and a Chime checking account required to apply. Money added to Credit Builder will be held in your secure deposit account as collateral and as your credit builder cards available to spend amount this is money you can use to pay off your monthly charges out of network, ATM withdrawal and otc. Advance fees may apply. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to time.com disclosures for details.

[Bunny]

You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans? Getting burned by your old wireless bill While you're planning beach trips, barbecues and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back. That's why I made the switch to Mint Mobile With Mint, you can get the COVID and speed you're used to, but for way less money. And for a limited time, Mint mobile is offering three months of unlimited premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month. So while your friends are sweating over data, overages and surprise charges, you'll be chilling, literally and financially. Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages, Mint Mobile is here to rescue you. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of unlimited service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. Okay, real talk. I switched to Mint Mobile from my old provider and the service has been just as good. Actually, sometimes even better. The coverage is solid, calls are clear, and I'm not constantly stressing about dropped connections. Plus the savings, huge. I'm talking way less on my phone bill without sacrificing quality. Honestly, I use Mint Mobile and you should too. If you want great service and a way better deal this year. Skip break. Breaking a sweat and breaking the bank, get this new customer offer in your 3 month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com bunny that's mintmobile.com v u n n I e upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer for first 3 months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra C Mint Mobile for details. House bro.

[Haley]

How many other people do you think he used that dildo on, bro?

[Mimi]

He probably the whole 45 minutes on the way home was just like, oh.

[Haley]

Just yeah, yeah, he was getting it for sure.

[Mo]

How do you not know the difference between a penis and a dildo, though?

[Haley]

She was young. Maybe she didn't know. I mean, I know the difference, but. And then how we gotta look. How would you know? Like, yeah, your bodies have to be connected. Like, what was he doing? Did he have it strapped around his waist? Name? Because if he's just ramming it like this, you would be able to see that. Yeah.

[Mimi]

Yeah. I feel like even if he held it right there, I would. It would feel the difference.

[Haley]

I could.

[Mimi]

Yeah, she said it was little, right?

[Haley]

No, she didn't say the size. She said he kept pulling it in and out too. That would have pissed me off.

[Mimi]

I would have been watching. Go.

[Mo]

Yeah, I'm like, what's going on down here.

[Haley]

I have so many questions. But, yeah, he probably just been doggy style.

[Mimi]

Yeah, but you really don't know what's going on. I know, but I mean, like, watching wise.

[Haley]

Okay.

[Mo]

Like, it could have been different.

[Mimi]

You can't see what's.

[Haley]

Yeah, but dicks feel different. They dildos. Like, dildos are hard. And they don't, like. I don't know, like, they don't kind of, like, mold your vagina. Whereas, like, a human wiener, like, you put it in your vagina and it.

[Mo]

Like, it'd probably also be cold, Right?

[Mimi]

True.

[Mo]

Like, dicks are.

[Haley]

My thing is, is he had that unwrapped out of the package already, just.

[Mimi]

Rolling around in the car.

[Haley]

And then he said he was gonna go use it on himself. So what if he used it on himself before? And that was his regular dildo that he shoved. Put up his ass. The fecal matter just freaks underneath the mushroom tip. I hate it. I hate him. I hate him.

[Bunny]

Thank you for blocking him.

[Mimi]

Block him for us.

[Haley]

Yeah. I could sit here and spiral about all of it, you know?

[Mimi]

No, I just think about how many, like, crumbs are on my floorboards if a dildo was rolling around. Like, it would look like one of those Korean corn dogs you talking about, Right?

[Haley]

Yeah, of course. That was a visual I never wanted to see, ever.

[Bunny]

Ever.

[Haley]

My life. Moving on, Haley. Go ahead, baby.

[Mo]

Well, I'm switching it up.

[Haley]

Okay. Oh, God. Hey, Bunny.

[Mo]

What has been the hardest part of starting the farm? And what has been the funniest thing that's happened on the farm?

[Haley]

God. The hardest thing about the farm is the damn pond. That pond has been a fucking nightmare for me.

[Mimi]

It looks like poop soup right now, bro.

[Haley]

It's fucking. It's a night. Well, the problem is there's no fresh water running in it. And the person who built my pond, it's just a. I don't want to talk about it. But I think as far as, like, farm life, when you start your first farm, there's so much trial and error. So now when we build our next farm at our new place, we know exactly. I'm gonna have AC in the barn. Like, it's gonna be a bigger barn lighting in the barn. So, like, when there's storms out, we can really put them in there.

[Mimi]

I literally saw a video last night, and I was like, this is going to be Bunny at the next house.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

She puts pajamas on hers.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

And, like, she wipes the TV down for gets it already. And, like, they go, iPad, cows I'm.

[Haley]

So jealous of those people's cows, though, because Crunch S' more is bougie. S'. More. I could put in a. In a. In a onesie and, like, put him up and he'll be fine. Crunchy is, like, straight from the ghetto.

[Mimi]

You should have seen us trying.

[Haley]

No, that dude don't give a. He will buck. He's just. He is such a brute dude. He is, like, all just male. And whereas s' more is like, he reminds me. I always say he reminds me of Jeffrey. Like, he's gangster, but he, like, literally will, like, he's, like, with them.

[Mimi]

But also he looks like he's wearing guy liner, literally.

[Bunny]

And like, he loves his.

[Haley]

His dips in the pond.

[Bunny]

He loves to be brushed. He loves to be washed.

[Haley]

He like, s'. Mores.

[Mo]

That would be me if I was a cow.

[Haley]

S', mores. A libra all the way. Like, he loves the finer things in life. And crunch just as a dude, he's like, no.

[Mimi]

What did Mo do to him yesterday?

[Haley]

Oh, my God. So Crunch started humping, and he would, like, mount chairs. And, like, he was in love with this one chair. He would not. This one chair. He would walk up to it and, like, rub his head on it and lick it and rub his head on it. And then he'd put both paws up and just get it, dude. Right? And was just humping this chair. And I mean, he would shoot loads across. Across the pergola. Excuse me.

[Mimi]

Oh, yeah. Clam would come out.

[Haley]

Yeah, it got really bad. His little crab meat would hang out. It was bad. Oh, it's disgusting. And So I hit Dr. Pack, our vet, and I was like.

[Bunny]

What do I do?

[Haley]

And he's like, he needs to be castrated. He tried to mount Bailey. He tried to mount Bailey one day. She. She had some animal crackers in her hand, so I'll give her that. But he did try to jump on her. And that's when I was like, okay, we. Yes.

[Mimi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Haley]

So Dr. Pack is like, we have to castrate him. And I'm like, okay, cool. You can come put. Knock him out. Saw his balls off and let's go. He goes, no. He's like, he's a full grown bull. He's like, I have to bind his balls.

[Mimi]

And number one ball saw.

[Bunny]

Yeah, they have to fall off naturally.

[Haley]

And I was like, oh, my God.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Haley]

He's like, so it should probably take a month at least. And I'm like, okay, that sounds terrible, but fine.

[Bunny]

Well, it's been two.

[Haley]

And his balls have not fallen off. They literally shriveled up like a leather satchel and just. Just stiff. Just hanging in the back, back there, right? So I text Dr. Pack and I'm like, dude, what do we do? Like, his shit's not falling off. He's like, I don't know. It's been a long time. He's like, you need to go give it a yank. And I was like, no. I'm like, there's no way that I can yank these balls off that cow.

[Bunny]

First of all, I love him.

[Haley]

Secondly, I don't want to hurt him. Thirdly, I will barf. I haven't even been able to eat meat since I've had to deal with this yesterday, right?

[Mimi]

I could literally see her out there just. Just going to grab it and just being like, oh, no, I can't.

[Haley]

I'll throw up. So anyways, I'm like. I text Mo and Scott and I'm like. I text him the text message from Dr. Pack. I'm like, somebody's got to rip his balls off. Monica's like, I'll do it. I'm like, you weirdo. So she goes out there, and Dr.

[Bunny]

Pack tells her to twist the balls, right?

[Haley]

So she goes out there, we have this all on film. She hasn't posted it yet.

[Bunny]

So she twists the balls as much as she can. They still don't pop off, right?

[Haley]

So she took text Dr. Pack and she goes, what do I have to do? And he goes, just give it a little yank. So she tugs on it and they come off, dude. And literally, she brings them to the door, and she's like, do you want to see your son's balls? And, like, she's holding balls in her hand, and I'm just like, I can't deal with it. It was a lot. I. That's. This is how having a farm is going for me, okay? I'm having a whole bunch of firsts, and it's been insane.

[Bunny]

When I started this podcast, it was just me and Mimi figuring it out as we went. We were wearing all the hats, editing, marketing, scheduling. It was exciting, but honestly, overwhelming and kind of lonely at times. If we had Shopify back then, it would have saved us so many fricking headaches. It's like having a business partner that actually knows what they're doing, helping you build, sell, and grow with confidence. So if you're starting something of your own, don't do it alone. Let Shopify be your business partner. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. And 10% of all E commerce in the US join the bunny XO Fam today. Your closet will thank you. Shop bunny xo.com get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store, match your brand's style, and accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you and easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. And best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise and everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into Cha Ching with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com bunny go to shopify.com bunny again shopify.com bunny I used to just deal with uncomfortable bras and underwear like it was normal to be adjusting all day. But once I tried skims I was like, oh, this is how it's supposed to feel. Everything fits so well. It's soft, it stays in place and honestly I don't even think about it once it's on. That's why I keep reaching for sk. Makes getting dressed easier. If you're tired of underwear that drives you nuts, give skims a try. Total game changer. Okay, let's be real. Bras and underwear used to feel like a daily struggle. I was constantly adjusting, pulling or counting down the minutes till I couldn't take it anymore. Constantly adjusting, pulling or counting down the minutes till I could take it all off. Then skims came into my life and now I actually like wearing my bra. The Fits Everyday T shirt bra is so soft and comfy I forget I'm even wearing it. And don't even get me started on the fits.

[Haley]

Everybody thong.

[Bunny]

No lines, no writing up, just smooth stretchy magic. Now when I reach for my skims drawer, I know it's going to be a good day. If your undies are making you mad, it's time to upgrade. Skims gets it right. Shop my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you.

[Haley]

Select Podcast in the survey and be.

[Bunny]

Sure to select Dumb Blonde Podcast in the drop down menu that follows.

[Mimi]

Do you still have the balls?

[Mo]

Where are the balls?

[Bunny]

No, I.

[Haley]

No, she threw them in the forest. I'm like, why? So a animal can get a taste of crunch and go look for him.

[Mimi]

Kind of.

[Mo]

What taste of crunch?

[Haley]

One of a coyote is like, mmm, delicious. It's like. And goes and goes and seeks out crunch.

[Mimi]

What if you just see like a hawk flying by?

[Haley]

Literally just balls. Like those truckers that have the balls on the back of their thing. Yeah. Like, bro, I'm just like, why would you do that? Why would you not throw it away? She's like, well, get maggots. I'm like, I'd rather that than a pack of wolves come look for my cat. How.

[Mimi]

Oh my God.

[Haley]

So, yeah, this is. That's been fun. The funniest thing. There's been so much that happens. Every day is something new on the farm.

[Mimi]

Never the same.

[Haley]

Never the same. But I have made a lot of mistakes with this farm. So my next farm, I'm definitely gonna make up for it and I know what I need to do.

[Mimi]

So.

[Bunny]

Yeah, it's all trial and error.

[Mimi]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I kind of wanted them. I would have put them in a jar.

[Haley]

No, no, no. They were shriveled up kind of weird like that. No, it was decayed. Like it was a lot. So.

[Mimi]

Crunch.

[Haley]

So poor Crunchy today, man. He's just got a little wound on him. He had to get freaking antibiotics. It's been a thing. Yeah, we've been going through it.

[Mimi]

Dr. Pack was a G. He got in the stall with a bucking with crunch, Crunch. Like a locked stall door got inside to halter him. And I was like, dude, hell no. He won't even get in the stall with Pablo. He gets in the stall next to it and.

[Haley]

Yeah, well, Pablo over the big.

[Mimi]

Oh, yeah.

[Haley]

And scary.

[Mimi]

Yeah, he's like twice crunches size.

[Haley]

Yeah, for sure.

[Mimi]

Yeah. So that's why when we were talking about. I was like, you know anyone that could do his hooves? And he was like.

[Haley]

He's like, I don't want to, but I will. All right, moving on. Oh, who's next? Afterwards, I gotta tell you, me or you? Are you next?

[Mimi]

I think it's me.

[Haley]

Okay, go.

[Mimi]

Jessica said, About 10 years ago, after a late night of partying, my husband and I get home and of course we're both hammered, horny, and wanna fucking. We had been going at it for Sounds great. At least an hour. An hour.

[Mo]

That's a long time.

[Mimi]

And by that time, the cooter was raw. Yeah, he was a raw cooter. He was on top. And we had a bottle of Crown Royal on the nightstand. He Grabs it and pours the whiskey all over my puffy, raw vagina.

[Haley]

Why would he think that's a good idea?

[Mimi]

Needless to say, I sobered up real quick and sexy time was over. I was in so much pain, my hoo haul was on fire. And the shower only made it worse. I had to sleep with an ice pack between my legs. The next morning, I was so hungover, but felt worse than my poor vagina. We laugh about it now, but I could have killed him that night, bro.

[Haley]

First of all, there's a thing called lube that you can use. Secondly.

[Mimi]

Ow.

[Haley]

I would use olive oil before I would pour crown on my. Or coconut oil. You could. Coconut oil you can use as lube.

[Mimi]

Lube.

[Haley]

Yeah, I prefer. If you guys are gonna buy lube, don't get water based lube. Get silicone based lube. Oh, it is delightful. You guys will love it if you use it. It's the best lube ever. It's great. But yeah. I can't believe her vagina was that raw and she just let him pour it on there. Like she had to have seen him going to do it.

[Mimi]

Yeah, well, if. I mean, if they're. You're both up, I guess like. Like maybe didn't even notice. And if it was like a quick little, I would have screamed. I would have just screamed. What do you even do in that situation?

[Haley]

And showering, that's like straight up alcohol on your vagina.

[Mimi]

Like alcohol in an open wound.

[Mo]

Imagine if you had like freshly shaved.

[Haley]

Too, and it went sting.

[Mo]

No sting so bad.

[Haley]

And she's saying if her was that tore up and it hurt that bad, that means that she was really dry and he was like ripping skin. So. Okay. O. Brutal.

[Mimi]

Ow. Just spit on it.

[Haley]

Yeah, just hack water. Just put water on it.

[Mo]

Go to bed.

[Haley]

Yeah, please, like, night's over. Night's over.

[Mimi]

After an hour, I'm. No thank you.

[Haley]

An hour, 15 minutes. I gotta go.

[Mimi]

To do thinking about other at this point, like an hour hour in.

[Haley]

Yeah, I'm not for that long.

[Mimi]

I need a snack.

[Haley]

All right. Pam wants to know, has Mimi and Haley tried the whipped cream adventures yet? Because when I tried it, that melted and slid down on the floor.

[Mimi]

No, I don't even like, step in water with socks, let alone put an entire tub of whipped cream on me.

[Haley]

Come on, man.

[Mimi]

I can't.

[Haley]

Let me baste you like a Thanksgiving turkey. Let's do it.

[Mo]

Isn't.

[Mimi]

No.

[Mo]

Is basting inside the turkey though.

[Haley]

Yeah, but I would. Well, you can like, you know how like you could remember that one time.

[Mimi]

You put icing on her tits.

[Mo]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Basting.

[Haley]

You could put you. You like this. And then you pour it on the outside so that it gets to a golden bubbly.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Bunny]

Yeah. I would do that with Mimi. Let's do it. Come on.

[Haley]

No. It'll be fun. Yeah.

[Mo]

We should do a photo shoot with her.

[Haley]

I know. Let's do a sexy photo.

[Mimi]

The only one has out kids. Let's not. I'd rather do it to her.

[Mo]

No.

[Haley]

What does that mean?

[Mo]

I got no one to give it to. So you have someone to get.

[Mimi]

Maybe we can get you a man with it.

[Haley]

Why don't we do both of you guys sexy photo shoot together? Possibly little of material every. You know, people would pay to see that. Mimi and Haley. Yeah, they would. You guys would probably make a million your first month.

[Mo]

I mean, a million.

[Mimi]

Olivia just learned what Google was. That's not.

[Haley]

Do you remember when you started to know us?

[Mimi]

Oh, yeah.

[Haley]

I was like, Mimi, you're gonna have to bust it wide open. She was like, oh, never mind. Delete.

[Mimi]

She was my first subscriber.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Don't give away my cover name. Jason, cut that out.

[Haley]

Haley has a lurker profile for ol. So anytime we want to see somebody's butthole, we send Haley.

[Mimi]

You have gotten deep on some people's. Oh, it's been rough. Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Remember the.

[Haley]

I feel like of is kind of falling off. I feel like of has lost its luster. Right?

[Mimi]

Yes.

[Mo]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Is it just cuz I'm not in that Twitter?

[Mimi]

Yeah. I was like, I feel like people like spent enough money on of the point that they are now like, it's free.

[Haley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mimi]

But also every state is like banning porn.

[Haley]

I know. I can't even get on pornhub to twiddle my twacker out here.

[Mimi]

Dude, Texas just got rid of X videos.

[Haley]

I'm not signing up for a pornhub Twitter id. Like, Twitter's weird. They don't have full. Full. Do they have full porn?

[Mo]

Oh, I'm sending you some like full.

[Haley]

Like I like from start to finish.

[Mimi]

Yes.

[Haley]

All right, send them to me. Perfect. I had no idea.

[Mimi]

She's never been down loop. Yeah.

[Haley]

This guy over here doing IVF for six months. I have had time to look at porn. All right.

[Mo]

Time.

[Mimi]

I said, every time I open my Twitter, that's not on there. Jason was like, it's not.

[Haley]

My husband says too. And I'm like. I'm like, you.

[Mo]

It's either that or someone dying.

[Haley]

Oh, God.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Mo]

Twitter Doesn't Twitter or whatever.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Oh, yeah. Elon lets it all hang out over there.

[Mimi]

Going for it. That's like Instagram reels right now.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

God.

[Mo]

My.

[Mimi]

It's.

[Mo]

Instagram reels are right rough, bro.

[Haley]

I. I don't know how. My account has been deleted three times and I've never showed anything bad. Yeah. And literally some of these Instagram reels are insane. I just saw a guy ejaculate on a Instagram reel. It had a little sensor thing over his dick, but you could see the drippings. It was crazy.

[Mimi]

That's not what mine is.

[Haley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mo]

No.

[Haley]

At somebody's door. Their ring camera caught it. Yeah, it was weird. I saw that one, too. Yeah. Yes. Weird.

[Mimi]

Onto the person's ring camera.

[Haley]

Yes.

[Mo]

And then walk.

[Haley]

Followed her in her house and then came on her doorstep.

[Mo]

I saw that, too.

[Haley]

Yeah. Crazy. Followed her. Yeah. People are sick, man. That's why you always have to look both ways, especially women. If you are out after dark, have Mace in your hand, have a taser, get on your phone, do whatever off your phone, like speaker phone. Like you're talking to somebody so at least they know that you're talking.

[Mimi]

I don't know, because when I got that, those people were waiting outside of my business that one time. The cops are. The worst possible thing is to be on the phone because they're like, oh, well, they can't call 911 immediately. They have to hang up with the person, reopen it, and all that kind of stuff. If you have it open with the numbers, you are more likely to call 911 quicker than being on the phone with somebody, because that person doesn't know. Like, I mean, they can kind of know where you are, but you'd rather have it recorded on 91 1.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Than to have a random friend trying to give information.

[Haley]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

I.

[Mo]

When I worked at the mat counter inside of Macy's, I was walking out one night with this, like, older guy who was super nice, and I was probably, like 50ft from my car, but, like, it was just my car and his car in the parking lot and some other whatever walking out with him. And I unlocked it from, like, you know, the sidewalk, like, 50ft from it. And he was like, hey, don't do that. And I was like, why? And he was like, someone could be on the other side of your car, and you just unlocked it and they.

[Mimi]

Could hop in your car. Car, dude.

[Haley]

I've heard about people waiting for people to get up to their car to open it. And slashing their Achilles tendon.

[Mo]

What?

[Haley]

Yes. Like, so, like, if you. That's why you always look under your car before you get up to go open your door, because they'll be waiting under there and they'll have a knife and just cut the back of your heel so you can't run. That's some horror movie.

[Mimi]

I was at the salon to, like, 1am One time, and I let my client go because she had a funeral to go to the next day. So I typically wouldn't. Normally I would have just left a mess. Came back the next morning, walked out with the person in, and someone was. I opened the door and a dude bum rushed me from the side. And luckily I stepped in and closed the door and locked it, called 911 and I hid. And he had a hoodie up, like, over his face. And when the cops happened to be, like, right there, they pulled up. Group of guys were waiting at Duncan for me.

[Haley]

Yeah, I remember that. When that happened.

[Mo]

Yeah, I don't remember this. When was this?

[Mimi]

It was early on because I was working nights because I was working days with her. And so I would do all my clients at night time at the salon.

[Mo]

Terrifying.

[Bunny]

I think that was the last time.

[Haley]

We did nighttime clients.

[Mimi]

Oh, I never. I literally was so terrified. Even to this day, I very rarely go to the salon, like, at night time if the sun is down. Like, I have a rule at the salon that no one is allowed to take out trash at night because I don't want anything to happen to those girls. They can leave the trash by the back door and the morning person can take it out. Yeah, Because, I mean, we're also next to a Duncan, so, like, a lot of homeless people because they just throw all their donuts out. I mean, if I was homeless, I'd go kick it behind a morgus. This guy's like, wait, what?

[Mo]

I mean, they literally will throw them out.

[Mimi]

A whole bag of donuts will walk outside, and it'll just be dumped.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mo]

That's crazy.

[Haley]

All right, ladies, well, there's your lesson. Do not. We don't with these hoes. All right. Yeah.

[Mimi]

Stay alert if you have to.

[Haley]

Yeah, Stay alert. Always look around you. Try not to be alone. If you. You don't, you know, have to be. And if you're walking to your house, look behind you. Always keep something in your hand that's sharp, too. So if a runs up on you, just bl.

[Mo]

They make you put on your keys, too.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mo]

Also a gun.

[Mimi]

I keep a gun. Like that day you got approached by those people. I had a gun in my hoodie. Like I was like, no. Like you're not just going to roll up on someone.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

And just think it's okay. So strange.

[Haley]

I don't know. The world is not like it used to be, dude. I think about it like back in the days. Like back in the days when I was young.

[Bunny]

I'm not a kid anymore.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

What was that?

[Haley]

Sometimes I sit and wish I was a kid again.

[Bunny]

Back in the days when I was young. I'm not a kid, you know.

[Haley]

You never heard that song any. A song for everything. So, dude, roll that beautiful bean footage is a meme. I did. I send it to you guys. You have to look in your dms. I sent it to you guys. Talking about back in the 80s and 90s. The nostalgia is so real. Like I always think back to it and I'm like, God, I wish we could go back to those days.

[Bunny]

Because it was like the world was so much safer.

[Haley]

Even though I had been attempted to be kidnapped as a kid and stuff like that. Yeah, a couple times. The fucking world just seemed safer, dude.

[Mimi]

Was it safer or we just didn't have enough. Enough like. Like social medias and news outlets to tell everything about the bad stuff. But like. I mean. Yeah, I don't know.

[Mo]

No, but it even feels safer. Like when I was in high school and that was just like mid 2000s, it felt even still.

[Haley]

It's true.

[Mimi]

Like I could. I used to walk everywhere. And I know you know what I'm talking about because. Yeah. Like on the west coast we have sidewalks everywhere. The south doesn't believe in sidewalks for some reason. Not a neighborhood has a sidewalk walk. You know this because you're a west coast kid too.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

We literally walked everywhere. We didn't have bad weather, so it never rained. It was just like I would walk miles, like to friends houses, to the store. Like out here you just. I would never trust my child to just like schmob down to the target.

[Bunny]

Hell no.

[Haley]

I don't let Bailey out of my sight. And she's 17 and has some paws on her. You know what I'm saying? Like she's. He said, listen, if anybody tries to ever kidnap they're Bailey, they are in for a surprise.

[Mimi]

Surprise.

[Haley]

They're gonna give her right back. Here you go.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah. So that's. I just wish we could go back.

[Mimi]

It's true. I mean they talk about like the 2000s even.

[Haley]

Like everything was just so much more fun.

[Bunny]

I don't know, I just didn't appreciate that time and I wish I could.

[Haley]

Have got it back because I would have done so much more with it. You know, Like, I just. We didn't know that we were living in the best times.

[Mimi]

I don't know. Right now is the best time of my life, guys.

[Haley]

A really.

[Mimi]

I've really like come to realize that.

[Haley]

I feel like more money, more problems, but that's a whole another subject.

[Mimi]

Yeah, no, I feel like I'm living the best days.

[Bunny]

I love that for you. Good for you.

[Mimi]

Thanks.

[Haley]

Good for you. Thanks.

[Bunny]

Love it.

[Haley]

All right, goodbye. Toodaloo.

[Bunny]

When I started this podcast, it was just me and Mimi figuring it out as we went. We were wearing all the hats, editing, marketing, scheduling. It was exciting, but honestly overwhelming and kind of lonely at times. Times. If we had Shopify back then, it would have saved us so many freaking headaches. It's like having a business partner that actually knows what they're doing, helping you build, sell and grow with confidence. So if you're starting something of your own, don't do it alone. Let Shopify be your business partner. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US us join the Bunny XO fam today. Your closet will thank you. Shop Bunny XO.com get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store, match your brand's style, and accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you and easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your custom scrolling or strolling. And best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise and everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into Cha Ching. With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com bunny go to shopify.com bunny funny again shopify com funny.