Ask, Tell, Confess: Cheating, Backstabbing, & Stories That Crossed Every Line

Summary

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Dumb Blonde Podcast

Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: Cheating, Backstabbing, & Stories That Crossed Every Line
Host: Bunnie XO + Guests
Date: March 20, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid, humor-filled episode, Bunnie XO and her friends dive deep into jaw-dropping stories of friendship betrayals, messy relationships, and the kind of confessions that leave you gasping — and laughing. Drawing from audience submissions and their own lives, the group shares tales of cheating, backstabbing, gross-out antics, and childhood drama. The tone is unapologetically real, raw, and hilarious, with a roundtable vibe that encourages vulnerability and catharsis through storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Podcast and Book Success (03:32 – 04:57)

• The hosts celebrate major milestones for Bunnie XO, including three weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and reaching #1 in audio books.
  • Quote: "Number two, baby. I'll take it." — Bunnie XO (03:46)
  • “I just want to put it in the air that I would love to win a Grammy for the book. That would be amazing.” — Bunnie XO (04:43)
• Discussion of how listeners enjoy hearing Bunnie narrate her own story: "Everyone says it is truly like a storytelling when you hear your voice say it." (04:12)

2. What's the Grimiest a Friend Ever Did to You? (05:04 – 06:42)

• Listeners share wild stories of betrayal and boundary-crossing.
  • Tales include friends having explicit encounters in public, infidelity, and oversharing—like someone telling the neighbor about their wild night.
  • Quote: “She told my neighbor, this guy pounded her so good that her puss looked like ground beef.” — Memes sharing a listener story (05:36)
  • The hosts react with disbelief and humor, emphasizing the absurdity: “Damn. Dude must have been packing a powerful punch.” — Bunnie (06:02)

3. Cheating and Betrayal Among Friends (06:42 – 12:08)

• Numerous submissions involve friends sleeping with significant others or baby daddies.
  • Quote: “I don't think I've ever done that? ...I'm too alpha for that, too. There's no way. I would never do that.” — Bunnie XO (11:00)
• The hosts examine their own boundaries and past experiences, highlighting the importance of loyalty and how crossing that line feels “gross” and like “sloppy seconds.”

Personal Anecdotes

• One host shares a story about her friend telling her life story to a guy (her future partner), leading to confusion and a broken friendship: “He had fallen for her, thinking he was falling for me… No, that's my point of view.” (12:10)

4. Drive-Thru & Drunk Antics (13:34 – 15:34)

• Lightening the mood, the group remembers wild nights—like friends attacking a Jack in the Box employee over pickles and a teenage memory of breaking a car ignition and blocking a drive-through for hours.
  • Quote: “Damn, it goes down in the drive-through. Who would have thought?” — Bunnie XO (15:00)

5. Stolen & Destroyed Property Stories (15:39 – 18:22)

• Submissions detail friends selling off or destroying others’ stored belongings, and even burning down a barn in a long-standing family feud.
  • Quote: “Her husband told me months later that she stole all my stuff before kicking him out.” — D (15:53)
• The lesson? "Don't leave your sh*t with other people." — E (18:16)

6. Jealous ‘Friends’ and Sabotage (18:24 – 19:28)

• A listener reveals that her childhood friend purposefully made her look less attractive due to jealousy.
  • Quote: “She admitted she was actually trying to make me look ugly so guys wouldn't notice me because she was jealous.” — Listener submission (18:29)
• The hosts reflect that jealousy among friends is sadly too common.

7. The “Butt Bullet” & Poop Confessions (19:28 – 24:38)

• The episode leans into gross-out comedy with stories about sleep shenanigans (a “pocket bullet” left in someone’s butt while sleeping), public pooping, and even elaborate poop pranks.
  • Quote: “How did they pull your pants down and you didn’t f***ing wake up?” — Bunnie (20:08)
• Listener submission about pegging gone wrong—when prostate stimulation leads to “ooey gooey” accidents.
  • Quote: “Full-blown hot, ooey gooey ripe ass shit blowing out.” — Listener submission read by E (22:09)
  • Hosts are both entertained and horrified: "The adjectives you used were wild." — Bunnie XO (22:54)

8. Revenge & Property Damage (24:43 – 25:47)

• Tales of revenge against cheating partners and their new girlfriends, including vandalizing cars.
  • Quote: “Do not mess with a redhead. We always win.” — Listener submission by Kelly (25:18)
• Bunnie and the group debate whether personal property should ever be fair game, admitting past mistakes.

9. Emotional Attachments & Pranks (25:47 – 28:10)

• A light aside on feeling attached to old cars when trading them in or sending them to the junkyard, sparking some empathetic laughs.

10. Childhood and Middle School Mean Girls (27:08 – 28:10)

• Pranks turn dark when a middle schooler is tricked into drinking pee (“apple juice”) at a sleepover—reflecting on how mean kids can be.
  • Quote: “If somebody had me drink piss, I would get extremely violent.” — Bunnie (27:51)
• The hosts empathize, recalling their own traumatic middle school exclusion and bullying experiences (birthday “gifts” of dog treats and a training bra).

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Notable Quotes

• “Number two, baby. I’ll take it.” — Bunnie XO on chart success (03:46)
• “She told my neighbor, this guy pounded her so good that her puss looked like ground beef.” — Listener story via Memes (05:36)
• “I’m too alpha for that, too. There’s no way. I would never do that.” — Bunnie XO on cheating with a friend’s partner (11:00)
• “Don’t leave your sh*t with other people.” — E, after stolen property stories (18:16)
• “She admitted she was actually trying to make me look ugly so guys wouldn’t notice me because she was jealous.” — Listener submission (18:29)
• “How did they pull your pants down and you didn’t f*ing wake up?”** — Bunnie XO, on ‘pocket bullet’ prank (20:08)
• “Full-blown hot, ooey gooey ripe ass shit blowing out.” — Listener submission, read by E (22:09)
• “Do not mess with a redhead. We always win.” — Kelly’s revenge story (25:18)
• “If somebody had me drink piss, I would get extremely violent.” — Bunnie XO (27:51)

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Highlight Timestamps

• 03:32 – Celebration of book and podcast milestones
• 05:04 – Opening the “grimiest friend stories” segment
• 06:42 – Cheating/infidelity confessions and analysis
• 13:34 – Drive-through brawls & wild, drunk memories
• 15:39 – Stories of stolen/sold property and a barn-burning feud
• 18:24 – Jealous friends and secret sabotage
• 19:28 – Bizarre bedroom mishaps (“butt bullet”) and poop stories
• 22:09 – Listener’s graphic pegging/poop confession
• 24:43 – Car vandalism and debates over revenge
• 27:08 – Childhood pranks gone too far (pee-apple juice prank)
• 28:25 – Closing reflections on mean girls and unresolved grudges

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Memorable Moments

• The group’s banter about drive-thru disasters and “poop pranks” is some of the most unrestrained and ludicrously funny of the episode.
• Listener confessions move quickly from shocking to purely comedic, with the hosts often howling in disbelief.
• A raw discussion of bullying in adolescence draws empathy and authenticity, underscoring the lifelong impact of “mean girl” behavior.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode of Dumb Blonde delivers exactly what it promises: no-filter stories of cheating, betrayal, and wild confessions, wrapped up in non-stop laughs and a dose of hard-won wisdom. Bunnie XO and her crew create a space where the worst mistakes and most humiliating moments become bonding experiences — encouraging listeners to find the humor and healing in even the messiest chapters of life.

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Transcript

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[A]

Ask Tell Confirm.

[D]

Ask tell.

[B]

Hello friends.

[A]

Welcome back to another Ask Tale.

[D]

That's funny.

[B]

How's everybody doing? We're batch filming right now.

[D]

Guess what?

[E]

See you guys in forever.

[A]

I know.

[D]

You are number two on the New York Times bestseller. And you are number one in audio.

[A]

Damn.

[D]

Week three, guys. Yay.

[B]

Number two, baby. I'll take it.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

First, the worst.

[B]

Second, the best. Number one.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Look.

[D]

Well, I can't. Yeah, it's not published. Yeah, we have.

[B]

Damn. Three weeks on the New York Times bestseller.

[A]

Let's fudgeing go.

[B]

Let's go crazy.

[A]

I love that.

[D]

Number one in audio.

[A]

Number one in audio, baby. We're still number one.

[B]

That's awesome, dude.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

Crazy.

[D]

I think honestly more people enjoyed listening to you read it after reading it. So, like a lot of people read it and then saw the reviews of how good the audio was and then listen to it again after already reading it. And everyone says it is truly like a storytelling when you hear your voice say it.

[B]

I love that I didn't know this but at the time until right before we recorded. But you can win a Grammy for narrating a book.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. So I hope that's. I just want to put it in

[A]

the air that I would love to

[B]

win a Grammy for the book. That would be amazing. How do you even top that? How do you even write another book? Literally New York Times bestseller. Three weeks in a row and number one audio. And then a Grammy.

[D]

Like crazy.

[B]

Crazy, dude. I don't know. Thank you, Jesus.

[A]

I am blessed and I'm thankful for that. So.

[B]

All right. Well, I had posted on the Dumb Blonde podcast Facebook page I saw. I think it was like, I don't know, it was one of these social media sites like Shade Room or something like that had posted this and I was like, oh, this is a great topic. It's. What's the grimiest a friend ever did to you. Let me hear y' all stories.

[A]

And.

[B]

And you guys left a bunch of stories. So who wants to kick this one off?

[D]

I'll go.

[B]

Go ahead, Memes.

[D]

I really hope you guys don't take this one. Anyone?

[B]

I've got a few, so you better not take mine.

[D]

This person said they. Her friend flew across the country to visit her. She drank every drop of booze in her apartment, went outside to have a smoke, and proceeded to have a loud video sex with her boyfriend on the lawn of her building where 15 other tenants were living. She told my neighbor, this guy pounded her so good that her puss looked like ground beef.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Dude must have been packing a powerful punch. Gosh.

[D]

How do you make it look like ground feet?

[B]

That means she had an Audi. That means she had an Audi and it just got pounded. And a ground beast. Roast beast.

[D]

Okay, yeah, they've got the meats.

[B]

Good for her. Good for her.

[D]

That's great. Who just shares that piece of information with the neighbor?

[B]

I would. Yeah, I would. That's totally something I would do and say. I don't. I wouldn't do the whole phone sex thing outside. But wait, they were having phone sex or real sex?

[D]

Like video phone sex?

[B]

But how did he pound her out and before.

[D]

Yeah, share the info with the neighbor.

[B]

Okay, yeah, love that.

[D]

For her, I mean.

[B]

Free spirit.

[D]

Go her.

[B]

I like it. All right, I'll go next. These are gonna go by quick, guys, because they weren't, like, really long and intricate, but quick and easy. Slobbed on my baby father's. Hold on. Kelly said, slobbed on my baby's father while I was in the shower. I felt something before, so my crazy ass put my phone on voice record and caught it all. This was, like, 15 years ago, and somebody in the comments had got their asses. She said. And I did. And then she said the crazy part was he tried to deny it for two hours afterwards.

[E]

I'm confused.

[B]

Okay, so she had a feeling that there was something going on between her and her. Her friend and her baby daddy. And before she went in the shower, she set her phone in the room and hit voice record and caught him getting his knob slobbed by her, and he tried to deny.

[D]

I read that.

[E]

I read that in her perspective. Yeah, I thought she just recorded herself. Okay, got it now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

The amount of people who submitted their friends sleeping with their baby daddies, their husbands, their boyfriends, their bet. Like, every single one.

[B]

Crazy. I don't think I've Ever done that? I think I can honestly say I've never done that to somebody. Let me think really hard. Hold on.

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[D]

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[A]

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[B]

Nope.

[A]

Just brothers.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I never slept with anybody's, like, baby daddy or their significant other. It never made me feel good. Oh, well, that was unintentional, though, so. Well, I didn't know the girl. I didn't know the girl, but I was in, like, when I was with my ex and I write about it in the book. I didn't know about his girlfriend until after we had already been together. So. Yeah. Any. It's always been unintentional. I've never include any of my friends, boyfriend's ones, because I've never found any of them attractive and it would never do that. But two, it's just, like, I would feel terrible, you know, going after a friend's slop. I'm getting sloppy seconds. Like, I'm too alpha for that, too. There's no way. I would never do that.

[D]

Hated it.

[B]

Hated it. Have you guys friends?

[D]

Not a friend.

[B]

No. Mimi said not a friend.

[D]

Well, it's like, it's tricky because Jason was talking to my best friend when we met, but they were, like, ending it. So, like, that's how we connected. Was over the fact that.

[B]

Did you and your friends still say friends after you and Jason?

[D]

No, because I found out that she was, like, telling Jason my life story.

[E]

Oh, that was the one that was.

[D]

Yeah. So it was like we were best friends. Like, and me finding out that she was telling things to him of my perspective, it kind of pissed me off.

[B]

I don't know if that would piss you off, but, like, weird you out.

[D]

Yeah, it was very.

[B]

She was trying to pretend she was your life. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. So he had fallen for her, thinking he was falling for me. Like, you know, like. Because, like, once we met and I was saying he was so confused, he was like, no, no, wait. She told me that exact story, but from her point of view. And I was like, no, no, no. That's my point of view. And so that's what we actually ended up bonding over. And then we just continued our talking from there.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Wild.

[D]

Yeah. So really, he did seen her or heard from her? Oh, yeah, Yeah. I mean, we were kids. We were 18, 19 years old. Like, we were doing dumb. I get it. It's whatever, you know, it was kind of like a catfishing moment. And we didn't talk for like five years, I think. And now we're more like friends on Instagram than we are friends. Yeah, I did dumb when I was a kid.

[B]

I mean, we all have. Hello when I wrote a whole book about it. It's a New York Times bestseller.

[D]

We did some dumb. When I went back home this past week, I got to meet up with two of my really good friends from high school. And we all just kind of sat there and like, talked about when we'd sneak out of high school and had a gold PT Cruiser and we'd hide in the trunk.

[B]

I wrecked one. The one I drove through. Del Taco was a gold PT Cruiser.

[D]

That's we were meant to be friends.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

I wrecked mine too.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[D]

Crazy.

[E]

That is so funny.

[B]

So funny to me out there when my period starts. Let's see. Have a Del Taco night, please. Can't wait.

[E]

Taco movie night, cup of fries.

[B]

Let's do it. All right, go. Hey.

[E]

Hey. Okay, Lori says, going through the Jack in the Box drive through at 2 in the morning. My guy friend tried to lunge over me to attack the drive thru cashier because there was pickles on his burger in the friendship that day.

[D]

Why would you be mad?

[B]

Why would you end a friend just

[D]

like, that's what he likes.

[B]

And if you guys are shit face, you can't hold that against him. I mean, yes, he is showing violent tendencies, but I think if you could channel that into a more productive conduit. I can't believe that'd be a good friend to have.

[D]

My two friends I told you I met up with. Yeah, she got mad at her boyfriend in the drive through and ripped his keys out of the ignition, but it broke the ignition and she threw them into the Jack in the box through the drive through window. And the car was stalled there. Oh, and we had. It took us like two hours to get the car out of the drive through. While you were there, they were arguing while we're getting our food, right?

[B]

Like recently.

[D]

No, no, no. When we were kids, did you guys

[E]

still eat the food?

[D]

They wouldn't give us the food.

[B]

Oh, no.

[D]

They were so mad at us because they had to shut their whole drive through down. And the guy's like, literally like, I'm calling the cops. We're like, what the would you like us to do? It's broken down two hours and we ended up just getting like a jack.

[B]

And why didn't you guys just put it in neutral and push it out

[D]

of the ignition was completely broken, locked. So you could not do anything at all to this car. And yeah, we had to end up jacking it up, putting the wheels on like those things that move the car around and pushing it out.

[B]

Damn, it. Goes down in the drive through. Who would have thought? What drive through? Jack in the box.

[E]

That's wild.

[D]

That's why I was like, that's crazy.

[B]

Listen, I used to love jack in the box. And then one night I was coming home from dancing and got an ultimate cheeseburger. Woke up the next morning, had the worst food poisoning I've ever had in my life besides the sushi that I had one time. And I have never been a Jack in the box fan after that.

[E]

They're little tacos, though.

[B]

Ah, the little tacos are good.

[D]

Tacos are fire, bro.

[B]

Never been a. A jack in the box fan after that.

[D]

Huge fan of jack in the box.

[B]

I'll eat del taco all day long, though.

[D]

That's how I got pregnant with cash.

[B]

Love it. All right, who's going next?

[D]

Me.

[B]

Go y old hoe.

[D]

So this one said that she had a friend tell her that she could store all her stuff in her garage. The friend then turned around and sold it all, like brand new stuff. Cut out the burp.

[E]

No, please leave it in.

[D]

Leave the burp. Stop. It just kept rolling like brand new stuff still in boxes. Pots, pan dishes, cricut machine, coach bag, etc. She lied about it when I couldn't. When? Oh, she kept lying about when I could come get it and kept putting me off until I just went ahead and stopped by. Her husband told me months later that she stole all my stuff before kicking him out.

[E]

What is a cricut machine?

[D]

Like one of those sticker cutters?

[B]

Yeah. I don't even know what that is.

[E]

It was the only thing I caught.

[D]

The cricut machine? Yeah, like that you put in, like, the little stickers. Like how I'm thinking of monogram. Like tumblers and Gotcha.

[B]

Yeah, like I know nothing.

[E]

A machine that makes crickets like the bugs.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, go ahead.

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[D]

Can I tell a story real quick? Sorry.

[E]

Yeah, I don't care. Not my show.

[D]

There was this family feud in my small town, and they let this guy store all the stuff in his barn, and he kept telling the dude to come get it, and the guy didn't. So he burnt down the barn with all the guys stuff in it.

[B]

What the hell?

[D]

And it's still a family feud to this day. And it was like, grandpa's. Like, they've now since passed. But, like, it's generationally like, this guy does not like this guy because grandpa set the barn on fire with all my grandpa's stuff in it.

[B]

What the hell?

[D]

I know, right?

[E]

That's great.

[D]

Yeah. And so he tried to call the cops, and cops were like, it was his stuff on his property.

[E]

Damn. What the moral of these stories is? Don't leave your with other people.

[B]

Yeah, you can't, dude. All right, you want to go?

[D]

Okay.

[E]

You got one longer one? This is from Tina.

[B]

Hey.

[E]

With a.

[B]

With an a. Oh.

[E]

I do have one kind of grimy story from my 20s. I grew up in a small town and always struggled with insecurity, never thinking I was much to look at. That when I moved to Sacramento, I had a friend I used to go clubbing with who always insisted on picking my outfits and doing my makeup because she said she wanted me to look cute. Years later, she admitted she was actually trying to make me look ugly so guys wouldn't notice me because she was jealous. Looking back, that's pretty grimy.

[B]

I feel like so many people have these friends that were just, like, jealous of them and trying to, like, big ass.

[D]

What a bro.

[E]

I would be pissed.

[D]

And you openly admit that? Like,

[B]

I don't know. Some of these people just are not good humans.

[E]

Anytime I did friends makeup to go out, it was always beat, and I would do mine in five minutes.

[B]

Yeah, but you always look flawless.

[D]

So mad. I know. She's literally perfect.

[B]

All right, this one was a little crazy, but Amy Lynn said legit stuck

[A]

a pocket bullet in my butt when

[B]

I was asleep, and it got stuck. No lie. It was vibrating in me, but I couldn't get it out. It was super loud too. We never shared A bed again? How the did she even get in your. Were you sleeping naked?

[E]

I would feel. I would feel anything.

[B]

Yeah. Were you sleeping naked? Was your exposed to the elements? Like, what is happen.

[E]

Sleeping with it, like spread.

[D]

I sleep very clenched.

[B]

I feel like, like, how did they pull your pants down and you didn't fudgeing you?

[E]

Not.

[B]

Yeah, I would.

[E]

I definitely feel something by entering my ass.

[B]

You're not getting something up my ass that easily.

[D]

And if it's vibrating, it had to have been vibrating going in.

[B]

Yeah. So I like, I have so many questions. Not that I'm doubting the story, but I'm like, dude, did your asshole just.

[D]

Also, I wonder if they were like, drunk or something.

[E]

I was gonna say because I wouldn't

[D]

feel something is if I was like, like blackout drunk.

[B]

I don't know. I've been pretty faced and I know what's going in my. You know, I don't know. I think we need more to that story. Yeah, I need more, more. More tea on that.

[A]

All right, go ahead.

[E]

All right.

[D]

This one's short and sweet. She in my front yard.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

I'd be upset if someone in my

[B]

front yard laughs so hard. I would not care if my friend in my front yard. I think it would be hilarious.

[D]

Bag inside out.

[E]

You know, I think that's more embarrassing for them.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Why are we in people's yards?

[B]

I don't know. I used to dare friends to in and out boxes, so it didn't. That would not faze me.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Purses in and out boxes.

[D]

I can confidently say as a friend group, we didn't really do much fame.

[E]

I loved poop.

[B]

Poop makes people laugh.

[E]

I love a good poop story.

[B]

How you do? I do like poop pranks. Wait, funny.

[E]

Can I read an Astel confess that someone gave to me specifically because it had to do with poop? Yeah. All right, here it goes.

[B]

She's like, I got it locked and loaded.

[E]

I do. It literally says, hey, ladies, this is a tell just for Haley. It involves poop and buttholes. So my boyfriend likes for me to wear a strap on and ping his butthole from time to time. Okay, no biggie. It is a little awkward, but whatever. He likes it. Well, where the situation comes in is that when his picture prostate is stimulated and he comes from the stimulation, he shits all over the place. Full blown hot, ooey gooey ripe ass shit blowing out. His out is ooey gooey.

[B]

Who describes poop as ooey gooey? I describe brownies as ooey gooey, not shit.

[E]

I don't like ooey gooey. The last time we did this, there was shit all over the bed. His ass, me, the strap on. It was just.

[B]

Why are they doing it so much?

[D]

Why is it the last time?

[B]

Why is it a repeated adventure? Do they think it's going to get better every time? Maybe it hits like a reflex in his butthole, and if he can finally release everything, he needs to do an enema before.

[E]

No, literally, I'm reading down more, and it says, I have told him going forward, if he ever wants his butthole poked again, he will need to clean it out first. Enemas are your friend, Amy.

[B]

Thanks, Amy.

[D]

Amy.

[B]

I didn't need the ooey gooey.

[D]

Gooey.

[B]

The adjectives you used for wild. Listen, after the first time, somebody just shits ooey gooey turds everywhere. I'm gonna not want to them with a strap on.

[D]

That's not.

[E]

I would get the ick so bad.

[B]

Yeah, like, there's no way, dude.

[D]

I'm having a hard time with that one, guys.

[E]

I should have read it first.

[D]

I feel like there should have been. I should have read it.

[G]

Someone.

[E]

Someone gave that to you? All I said, all I heard was, this one's just for Haley. It's about poop and buttholes. I said, I'm in.

[D]

You said, done. Screenshot it. Yeah, that one's mine.

[E]

I did.

[D]

That's wild. Yeah, I feel like, what does that cleanup process look like?

[E]

Don't know. I want to know.

[D]

Does it get into the. I would throw everything away. I feel like, do you put a liner on the mattress? Because I towel down. How do you scooch off of that? I'm just so confused.

[F]

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[D]

I just imagine her knees down, and then, like, there's pooper and she's gotta scooch off the bed. Or do you just whip the leg

[B]

off and the strap ons just flapped?

[E]

There's poop everywhere.

[B]

They're like limp noodles

[A]

just flinging poop everywhere.

[B]

Kelly said, I took a potato peeler and went up and down my Ex boyfriend. My ex boyfriend's new girlfriend's car.

[A]

And he didn't know I knew about her, but she knew about me.

[B]

Then I poured nail polish remover and other stuff all over the cars. I picked him up from work and he asked me about the cars. I just turned the tears on and said, how would I know where she lived? How? How? He still doesn't. He still doesn't know I did it. And he had to pay for the car to get fixed. Do not mess with a redhead. We always win.

[D]

So we went after the new girlfriend

[B]

because she knew about her. Oh, I feel like what the cars do to you, you know, like car didn't deserve that. I think destroying people's personal property. Not saying I haven't done it. I have done it plenty of times growing up, but I now that I own stuff and actually have stuff. Like, it's really different to like destroy somebody's property.

[E]

You can't just make me real empathetic towards that car.

[B]

It means that.

[E]

Letting you know. I'm getting very sad over here.

[B]

Same. I was thinking of our guy fucking the robot. The robot. Stop. Bumblebee. No.

[E]

I saw a tick tock that said, do you guys ever get sad leaving your old car at the dealership? Not. And they don't know it's the last time you're going to drop them off. And they don't know you're leaving them. No one else gets sad?

[B]

No. No. Because I'm going to pick my car up. Is it when you. A new car?

[E]

No. Yeah. Getting a new car.

[D]

Yeah. And then doesn't know that you left it.

[B]

No. He's gonna make new memories for a new family.

[E]

When I dropped off my old car,

[D]

what if it goes and gets smushed

[E]

at my junk at the junkyard?

[B]

I've never dropped anything off at the junkyard that would make me sad.

[D]

She didn't have a front windshield.

[E]

Well, yeah, the hood came back and smashed my own.

[D]

It was like in the beginning of our.

[E]

It was like 20. No, it was the end of 2019. So it was like a few months after our first.

[D]

That's why you got her a car?

[E]

I don't remember. I didn't drive for six months after that.

[D]

Actually.

[B]

I remember.

[D]

Yeah, it came up and smashed her windshield.

[B]

I didn't remember the circumstances, but I remember I was just like, haley, why are you ubering everywhere all the time?

[E]

I was scared to drive. Yeah, that was traumatizing.

[B]

And look at you now. You drive everywhere. You drive home every freaking weekend.

[D]

I take Curbs.

[E]

Not even looking.

[D]

That's wild.

[B]

All right, what do you guys got for me?

[D]

So she said, when I was in middle school, I was asleep at a friend's house on a Friday night, and the next morning, there was a glass cup sitting on the shelf. I thought it looked like apple juice, so I asked her if it was apple juice and asked if I could have a sip. She said yes. When I took a sip, it turned out to be a cup full of pissed.

[E]

That's bench warmers.

[B]

That's terrible.

[E]

Not apple juice.

[D]

Why would you say yes?

[B]

That's terrible.

[D]

Why would you say yes?

[B]

But why would you? I could never do that to somebody. Dude.

[D]

Absolutely not.

[E]

Smell it first.

[B]

Gross.

[D]

I mean, yeah, that's another thing, but think. It's like, if, I don't know, messing

[B]

with people's food, man, that is a 100. I will break your face if you do something like that. Like, there's no way.

[D]

No way.

[B]

I'm so weird already about, like, being poisoned or fucking drugs in my water or anything like that. There's no way. If somebody had me drink piss, I would get extremely violent.

[D]

I would be very violent. Any poop?

[E]

Pee?

[D]

No.

[B]

No, you can't do that. Like that one lady who put poop in her boyfriend's brownies. Like, come on, man.

[D]

Like, not.

[B]

Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop. That's so rough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Friends should never do that to somebody. I mean, obviously, look at traumatized this girl.

[D]

Yeah, that's a middle school.

[B]

Still. Middle schoolers are the worst, man.

[D]

They are like, I feel like they literally turn evil in middle school.

[B]

Dude. They gave me a training bra and dog treats for my birthday, and I never forgot.

[D]

You didn't know that?

[E]

No.

[B]

Yeah, they said I was so ugly, they gave me dog treats and a training bra because I didn't have any boobs for my birthday. All the boys did.

[D]

Sixth grade is when I stopped wearing shorts because I wore shorts one time to school, and this boy named Tim pointed and gagged and was like, oh, my God, she's wearing shorts. I didn't wear shorts for 17 years after that.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

And where the is he at now exactly?

[B]

Let's look him up.

[D]

Oh, I know exactly where he is from friends on Facebook.

[B]

Since we like looking, I can unfriend him.

[D]

Kids.

[B]

Well, we don't, like. We've got a grudge with Tim. Yeah. All right, guys. We love you so much. Talk to you later.

[C]

Bye.

[D]

Bye.

[G]

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