Ask, Tell, Confess: I'm In My IHOP Hoe Phase

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde – Episode “Ask, Tell, Confess: I'm In My IHOP Hoe Phase”

Release Date: May 9, 2025

In this vibrant episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast, hosted by Bunnie XO from Dumb Blonde Productions, listeners are treated to a blend of hilarity, relatable life experiences, and insightful discussions. The episode titled "Ask, Tell, Confess: I'm In My IHOP Hoe Phase" delves into the messy yet comedic realities of dating, personal growth, and navigating early adulthood. Here's a detailed breakdown of the episode’s key segments:

1. Opening Banter and Setting the Tone ([03:03] – [04:20])

The episode kicks off with Bunnie checking in with her co-hosts, Leah and Mimi, establishing a relaxed and conversational atmosphere.

• Bunnie ([03:03]): “How's everybody doing today?”
• Leah ([03:05]): “Can't complain.”

2. Leah’s IHOP Hoe Phase Story ([03:08] – [04:31])

Leah shares a vivid and humorous recount of her tumultuous “hoe phase” at IHOP, highlighting the awkward and embarrassing moments that often accompany young relationships.

• Leah ([03:24]): “I was 18 at the time... Going through my hoe phase, trying to get over my recent breakup.”
• Bunnie ([04:31]): “That's something you should have thought about before in the parking lot.”

Leah narrates how an innocent meet-up at IHOP turned awkward when a 10-year-old unexpectedly interrupted, leading to an uncomfortable and memorable situation.

• Leah ([04:29]): “We get dressed and then dad starts a normal ass convo with the kid I was just banging in the back seat... exposed a small child.”

3. Hosts’ Reactions and Reflections ([04:32] – [07:56])

The discussion transitions into reflections on the incident, with the hosts empathizing and sharing their own similar awkward experiences.

• Bunnie ([05:18]): “I will put the fucking pancake on my butthole if you want to eat it off.”
• Mimi ([07:17]): “She's upright with it. And I was like, stop everything.”

The trio engages in playful banter, making light of the situation while also touching on the discomfort and embarrassment that come with such experiences.

4. Digression into Humorous Banter ([07:57] – [12:07])

The conversation takes a humorous turn as the hosts delve into lighter topics, including memes and the hilarity of everyday mishaps.

• Bunnie ([08:06]): “These are... how we talk when the kid. The mics are off.”
• Mimi ([08:23]): “If you want to become part of the group chat, like, go listen to Asta confess.”

They share funny anecdotes about handling embarrassing situations, such as dealing with raw dog instances and the challenges of living with air mattresses during early adulthood.

5. Listener Question: First-Time Home Buying ([15:17] – [21:22])

The episode shifts focus to a listener question submitted by Leah, who seeks advice on necessities for a first-time homebuyer’s housewarming party and tips for young couples entering the real world.

• Listener’s Question ([15:17]): “My boyfriend and I close on our first home May 8th... What are some things we should ask for that's necessary?”

Mimi offers practical suggestions:

• Mimi ([16:16]): “Can opener. Absolutely.”
• Bunnie ([16:33]): “Microwaves, toasters.”

Leah emphasizes the importance of essential household items:

• Leah ([16:58]): “Cleaning stuff. You would not believe how many cleaning things I'd have to go, like, just...”

The hosts collaborate to provide a comprehensive list of must-have items for new homeowners, emphasizing practicality and foresight.

6. Personal Experiences and Financial Advice ([18:08] – [21:22])

Bunnie and Mimi delve into their personal journeys of purchasing their first homes at a young age, sharing the challenges and triumphs they faced.

• Bunny ([18:45]): “It's so important to live in the moment... because it's all gonna come.”
• Mimi ([19:14]): “I think I bought mine at 22.”

They discuss the importance of financial responsibility, credit management, and the dynamics of supporting a partner through financial hurdles.

• Mimi ([19:24]): “Jason, he had no credit score.”
• Bunny ([20:21]): “She's so, like, yesterday, she's handling, like, deals for me...”

The conversation highlights the balance between personal growth and relationship dynamics, offering listeners valuable insights into managing finances and supporting each other in a partnership.

7. Closing Remarks and Final Anecdotes ([21:23] – [23:01])

As the episode wraps up, Leah shares a funny story about a breakup involving “pizza pops,” leaving the audience with a blend of humor and relatable breakup scenarios.

• Leah ([21:39]): “I like. It's my humor. Is it dicks and buttholes? No.”
• Leah ([22:15]): “She came over to my place... do the super sad and awkward stuff... do you still have my pizza pops?”

The hosts bid farewell to their audience with warmth and anticipation for the next episode.

• Bunnie ([23:01]): “All right, guys. Love you so much, and we will see you guys next week. Bye.”

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Leah on Her IHOP Experience ([03:24]): “I was going through my hoe phase, trying to get over my recent breakup.”
• Bunnie on Embarrassing Moments ([05:18]): “I will put the fucking pancake on my butthole if you want to eat it off.”
• Mimi on Home Buying ([16:16]): “Can opener. Absolutely.”
• Mimi on Financial Responsibility ([19:24]): “Jason, he had no credit score.”
• Leah on Breakup with Humor ([22:15]): “She came over to my place... do the super sad and awkward stuff... do you still have my pizza pops?”

Conclusion

This episode of Dumb Blonde masterfully blends humor with heartfelt discussions, offering listeners a candid look into the messy yet comedic aspects of young adulthood, relationships, and personal growth. Through shared stories and genuine conversations, Bunnie XO and her co-hosts create an engaging and relatable space, encouraging listeners to laugh, reflect, and embrace their own journeys.

Transcript

[Bunny]

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[Jason]

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[Mimi]

All right, buckle up.

[Bunny]

Good job.

[Jason]

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[Bunny]

Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Forts. We have Propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumblonpodcast and sign up Ask.

[Leah]

Welcome back to another episode of Ask Tale on Fresh.

[Bunny]

I like when it fades off into the distance. It's very comforting for me. Hello guys.

[Mimi]

Hey.

[Leah]

Hello.

[Bunny]

How's everybody doing today?

[Leah]

And complain.

[Bunny]

Can't complain. All right, who wants to kick it off?

[Mimi]

I got zoom in on her as she did that. Please.

[Leah]

I don't know what I just did. I got one. This is a tell. And the ihop. IHOP parking lot.

[Mimi]

It already sounds a good time.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Leah]

Love a good IHOP Backstory. I was 18 at the time. It was still summertime, but school had already started. Recently started my freshman year of college. Going through my hoe phase, trying to get over my recent breakup. My best friend was with the brother of the Situationship. So best friend, the dad of the boys, their little brother who was 10, and the dad's girlfriend and I all load up and go to the nearest ihop. I'm Snapchatting the Snap hoes. As one does, one of them snaps me back and tells me to meet him outside to talk. One thing led to another and we ended up in the very back of this dude's mom's SUV. Mid sweat sesh. The little brother who's 10, comes out and opens the damn car door. She said. I scream. He screams. Probably scared for scarred for his life. And the next thing we know, it's a show for everyone. And full ass in the 10 year old's face.

[Bunny]

Oh, no.

[Mimi]

We get traumatized. That kid, bro. He's never gonna find that parking lot.

[Leah]

Parking lot.

[Bunny]

Never's gonna forget. Yeah.

[Leah]

We get dressed and then dad starts a normal ass convo with the kid I was just banging in the back seat and I exposed a small child. The things he shouldn't have been at that scene at that age.

[Bunny]

That's something you should have thought about before in the parking lot. Not saying that I haven't in parking lots because Lord knows I like a good parking lot. But I like to make sure that no kids are around, you know?

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

I mean, nights or like, you know, back in mid corner. Huh?

[Leah]

Mid bite. You're like, hold on, guys, I just got to run to the car.

[Bunny]

I mean, listen, maybe they're passionate. I'm all for it. Yeah, I'm totally all for it.

[Leah]

What time of the day was it at, you think? Did they.

[Bunny]

Was it brunch?

[Mimi]

I'll be honest, a pancake has never made me that horny.

[Leah]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I have to finish my chocolate chip pancakes first.

[Bunny]

I will put the fucking pancake on my butthole if you want to eat it off. All right. I will slap some flapjacks on my titties. I love food cream food. Getting eaten off of you is the.

[Mimi]

Most never had that happen.

[Bunny]

Really? You guys got to do it. Do it for Jason. Do a little whipped cream bikini for him.

[Mimi]

No.

[Bunny]

Why you said no so fast.

[Mimi]

Because I really feel like that is the difference in plus sized people and skinny people. This is like booths and tables at a restaurant right now.

[Leah]

It'd be a tanking.

[Bunny]

Why can't you just put little triangles on you?

[Mimi]

How much whipped cream this is gonna.

[Leah]

I need the old gallon container.

[Bunny]

Listen, dude, all you gotta do is put triangles over your nipples and a triangle over your pussy. You don't gotta fucking paint your whole body with it.

[Leah]

Full on, one piece.

[Mimi]

Like a swim.

[Bunny]

Dress, like you're covered in shaving cream. Just. I can't.

[Leah]

I'm gonna go.

[Bunny]

Okay, do. Listen, Jason, I would like. For Mimi's birthday, I would like her to do a whipped cream bikini before she leaves. So we need to get this in motion in the next 24 hours, please.

[Mimi]

Oh, my God.

[Leah]

If you see an instacart order of just like, five candies, I'm sending it over.

[Bunny]

I'm sending it over. Cool whip on the titties. Whatever we gotta do, kids are gonna.

[Mimi]

Answer the door and be like, mom, why is there so much.

[Bunny]

Cash? Is gonna be huffing the cans.

[Mimi]

I walked into Olivia the other day. I was like, baby, you can't just go raw dog on the.

[Bunny]

Oh, little whippets.

[Mimi]

I thought. I think she did a whip it the other day. Because in the kitchen, and she's upright with it. And I was like, stop everything. I said turn it upside down. And she was like, why? I said, you're probably gonna feel really good here in about a second. Don't do that.

[Bunny]

Yeah. No.

[Mimi]

Oh, my God, you guys. Oh, God.

[Bunny]

Yep, I'm sending over the whipped cream tonight with cherries. Please do it for me.

[Leah]

A little chocolate.

[Bunny]

Just a little. Just a little, like, make a little sundae on yourself. It'll be cute. Sprinkle. It'll be cute. And let Jason eat it.

[Mimi]

Look like pubes.

[Bunny]

Oh, my God, you're disgusting. Okay, now we're taking it too far. All right, what do you got? Memes. You guys, I hate you.

[Leah]

How do we get off on that tangent?

[Bunny]

Because that's just what we do. These are. This is like how we talk when the kid. The mics are off.

[Mimi]

Everyone feels like they call this the group chat.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Like, literally, they tell everyone, if you want to become part of the group chat, like, go listen to Asta confess.

[Bunny]

Yes.

[Mimi]

Oh, wow. I don't know. Let me just go into this then Just going off of that Ozempic shits during sex.

[Bunny]

I almost read that one.

[Leah]

Oh.

[Mimi]

If you know anything about being on a GLP1, it's that if you eat too much greasy food or too sugary of foods, your digestive system will hate you. And I have had to learn that the hard way. You have to really watch what you eat. And apparently this person did not. They would like to keep anonymous. So this only happened as of last night. And she's telling it while it's fresh in her mind. They had a late dinner, so she just threw together some tacos. And as most of you guys know, shot and greasy foods or spicy foods don't mix. Usually I get the tummy rumble as a warning to get to the bathroom when OIC shots strike. Especially since I normally only go once a week. That's not normal that you only poop once a week.

[Leah]

She goes the bathroom once a week.

[Bunny]

That's crazy. Yeah, that's not normal.

[Mimi]

All right, so she's not lying, though.

[Bunny]

Because I remember how much I was on those shots.

[Mimi]

Yes. She goes to the bed and we're doing our thing, and I'm on top. I reach back and fondle his balls, and they were super wet. Cool. I just got off a lot of this man making. I got off this man making me come like a waterfall. So I think it's just me. Then my hands are on his chest for leverage as I'm riding. He's got his hand around my throat, and I'm grabbing. This got really?

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

All right. Like, this is crazy. And I'm grabbing his arm so we're touching all over. He gets a little off. We are laying there for a second. He says, babe, I think you're bleeding. I'm like, it's not time for my period. Then he says, I think this is poop. I instantly start, how could you not smell it? That's what I'm saying. You guys literally rubbed these juices all over you, thinking they're cum, and it's really poop. We've been together two years, and this man knows my body. But I'm weird about using the bathroom in front of people. And I just smeared all over this man's chest, arms, and sheets. I'm in tears. He's trying to make me feel better and crack jokes. I just the out of you. But that didn't help. I yelled at him to get into the shower while I cleaned up the shits and cried of embarrassment. I showered and we went to bed, and he held me like Nothing happened. Made all the comments this morning about how sexy I am, but I am still mortified.

[Bunny]

It must have been some runny dude. I don't know how it didn't smell, though. You instantly smell poop when poop doesn't hit water and it's in the air raw. It was a different smell, man.

[Mimi]

Literally.

[Bunny]

I had to in a French french fry basket one time, and it is rough.

[Mimi]

What the.

[Bunny]

Yeah, when you have to do like those. The. The poop tests that you have to do for doctors. No, they give you a french fry basket and you have to in it and catch your logs in it, bro. When I tell you it is the most humbling experience you'll ever go through, it sucks.

[Leah]

I made face over there when you said it.

[Bunny]

He was like, yeah, it's like my dog. That's like, different when it doesn't hit water, boy. It's male.

[Mimi]

Wow. That's how I feel. Like when we have to poop in bags on the tour bus.

[Bunny]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mimi]

You're humbled by how heavy that bag is.

[Bunny]

I get excited. I start weighing everyone.

[Mimi]

Hold it. Yeah, yeah. She's like, feel this one. Feel this one.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

And we have. I'll be honest, to get really close when you're in those kind of corners.

[Bunny]

I am proud of the void that.

[Mimi]

I, you know, what I do it reminds me of? It's like when guys hold fishes in their profile pictures. That's Bunny with her poop bags.

[Bunny]

Yeah. We should start taking pictures. You do not realize how heavy a log is until you shit three of them in a bag and have to pick it up. You're like, damn, that was just inside.

[Leah]

I lost some weight with that.

[Bunny]

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[Leah]

She said.

[Bunny]

All right, Leah said. Which I thought this is actually a really cool question and we could definitely give her some advice. She said for this week's Ass Talking Fish. Nothing to do with buttholes or poop. It's all right. Don't worry about it. Mimi already got it. My boyfriend and I close on our first home May 8th. Congratulations. So exciting. Financially on the struggle bus. So our moms want to throw us a housewarming party. What are some things we should ask for that's necessary? I hate asking for things, so I don't want to be unreasonable. Also, any advice for the first time home buyer or for two 23 year olds starting out in the real world?

[Mimi]

Oh, my gosh, I have so many good ideas.

[Bunny]

I know Mimi's really good with this stuff. As far as far as like, housewarming stuff, I would make an Amazon list because everything on Amazon is so cheap, but like, great quality and do like everything. Like kitchen cookware.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Microwaves, toasters.

[Mimi]

I was gonna say can opener.

[Bunny]

Think of can opener. Absolutely.

[Leah]

You can't live without every day, literally.

[Bunny]

Toilet, pa, Dipper.

[Mimi]

Go through your everyday. This is what I tell everyone because I've actually been asked this question before. Go through your everyday life and write down everything you use.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

It's crazy what you don't think of. Can openers.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Cleaning stuff. You would not believe how many cleaning things I'd have to go, like, just. I would go to, like, grab it because it wasn't in my thought. I thought, you know, all the other necessities and then I would go to find like a scrub brush. And I'm like, I don't even think I bought a scrub brush for this house. Or like, you know, I'm a. Let me tell you right now, I've got four unopened packs.

[Leah]

You ever look at their Tick Tock page?

[Mimi]

It's the best page ever. Their PR team is the most incredible. Their content creation is beautiful.

[Bunny]

I don't even know what it is.

[Mimi]

Are you kidding me over there? But like, the cleaning baskets, like, I love to give people as like, gifts baskets that you can put underneath, like sinks and stuff. Just full of cleaning supplies. You can. I love, like all kinds of laundry baskets. Yeah, laundry baskets.

[Leah]

Hangers. I always need hangers.

[Bunny]

Good hangers always need hangers. Trash bags. Like, trash bags. You don't think about how many paper towels.

[Mimi]

You go through people for necessities because the other stuff can come in time. Furniture pieces, side tables, all that will come in time. Get your necessities out of the way.

[Bunny]

Jay and I literally had to sleep on an air mattress the first couple of weeks in our apartment. You know, like, that's what may the struggle is, what makes it so much fun. And then you look back on it after like 10 and you're like, bro, remember when we couldn't even buy a wooden spoon? Remember when we couldn't buy a toaster. Like the struggle is part of life. And I think that a lot of people think that. Oh, you know, because we have social media now, so you got, you know, 23 year olds who are literally, first of all, 23 years old buying your first house. That's fucking phenomenal.

[Mimi]

That's amazing. In this economy, you guys are already.

[Bunny]

Ahead of the game. Because 23, I wasn't buying a house. There's no way I could have afforded it and my credit was shot.

[Mimi]

But wait, I bought mine.

[Bunny]

The fact. Huh?

[Mimi]

I think I bought mine at 22.

[Bunny]

Yeah. At 22. Yay.

[Mimi]

We built our first house.

[Bunny]

Yeah. Well, good for you. Yeah. But anyways, I think that's great. I think also just being able to like, live in the moment.

[Mimi]

Yes.

[Bunny]

It's so important to live in the moment is just don't stress about what you guys don't have, because it's all gonna come.

[Mimi]

I love that you said air mattress. Jason and I's first couch when we moved to Tennessee was a half deflated air mattress that we folded in half and pushed up against the wall because we couldn't afford furniture.

[Bunny]

Love that.

[Mimi]

I know. I was like, we're gonna make do. So we're gonna put our mattress on the floor in the bedroom and we're gonna deflate the air mattress and fold it in half and it made a couch.

[Bunny]

Yeah. You've always been so good like that though, and like, responsible. So even if you guys slept on a air mattress, you just said you still owned a house at 22 years.

[Mimi]

Oh, yeah. That believe in renting. So when I met Jason, his credit score, and I'm sorry to throw you out there like this. Jason, he had no credit score.

[Bunny]

Terrible.

[Mimi]

And so my job was like, as a wife to be like, that's not like, we're gonna fix this.

[Bunny]

But a lot of people at your age are not thinking like that. They're thinking about going to their next party. Especially in Vegas too. We're not thinking about anything like that.

[Mimi]

Yeah, I. I did a lot of like, phone calls to credit agencies and all that kind of stuff. Wiped all his medical.

[Bunny]

Nobody's doing that. I did. I started doing that when I got with Jay and I was like 38.

[Mimi]

Yeah. No, I remember you talking like when we first met, we would like go over credit stuff. Cuz like you were all about like paying your bills down to zero because you thought that was the idea. I was like, no, you need to keep 10 because your credit grows that way. Like you have to have a 10 usage within your credit. So that.

[Bunny]

But now you guys know why I let Mimi handle everything in the business. Because she's so, like, yesterday, she's handling, like, deals for me, and I'm just listening, and she's like, so what do you think? I'm like. Like, I'm like, what? I'm like, what the did I just listen to? I'm like, I don't care. I just want the money. Like, what else do I gotta do?

[Mimi]

Such a analytic person. It's kind of crazy. That's my obsession, you know? You're a numbers person.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

And I'm an analytics person, so patterns for me. I obsess, so.

[Bunny]

I obsess over patterns too.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

But it just depends on what it is. You're a number pattern person, like an algorithm. I can figure that out.

[Mimi]

Yes.

[Bunny]

Heartbeat.

[Mimi]

You know that, like, your numbers will increase with these said movements.

[Bunny]

Right.

[Mimi]

Versus I'm like. I'm like a past person. Because I can't do numbers. I'm just number dyslexic.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

So I can't do number.

[Leah]

I.

[Mimi]

Me. And you are literally yin and yang with pattern recognition.

[Bunny]

Yeah. Oh, I didn't think.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

So cool. Yeah.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

You were really good at creation, bro. You are. You're not. You're very, very, very smart when it comes to. If you were ever to be, like, an architect, because you.

[Leah]

That's weird. That's what I used to want to be when I was young.

[Mimi]

See, because, you know, my grandpa said.

[Leah]

There was no money in it.

[Mimi]

No, you know, beauty. Oh, my gosh.

[Bunny]

I thought there was so much money in architecture.

[Mimi]

So much money.

[Leah]

Well, I think he was thinking back home.

[Mimi]

That's true.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

In Chicago or. Where are you guys at?

[Leah]

Southern Illinois.

[Mimi]

Yeah. Yeah. That. That's crazy. That's what I. I know, because that's, like, where you find the beauty in the structure.

[Bunny]

All right, so who's next?

[Leah]

Okay, I have a short, kind of funny one. I like this one.

[Bunny]

Okay.

[Leah]

I like. It's my humor.

[Mimi]

Great.

[Bunny]

Is it dicks and buttholes?

[Leah]

No.

[Bunny]

Okay.

[Leah]

Hell, I had been dating a guy for two years, and it was clear he wasn't ready to commit long term. So he ended it. A few days later, he came over to my place to do the super sad and awkward stuff. Exchange. As he's walking towards his car, he turns around and says my name. I froze, thinking he had maybe changed his mind about our relationship. Then he said, do you still have my pizza pops?

[Bunny]

What's a pizza pop?

[Leah]

It's so funny to me. She said, I went to the freezer, took out the box, went outside, and threw them at him. Game over. I just love that one.

[Bunny]

I still want to know what a fucking pizza pop is.

[Mimi]

Giving it a goo. Giving it a goo.

[Leah]

God, it was so funny.

[Mimi]

Wait, what's a pizza pop?

[Bunny]

I've never heard of a p. Is it a, like a. Oh, they're like pizza rolls.

[Leah]

They're like.

[Mimi]

Like empanadas.

[Leah]

Never mind.

[Bunny]

Why did he not just go buy another box? No, I think that's so funny. That is hilarious.

[Leah]

That's something I would do such, like.

[Mimi]

I don't know why, but it's like such a Napoleon Dynamite moment.

[Bunny]

Yeah, Literally.

[Leah]

God, it's so funny.

[Bunny]

All right, guys. Love you so much, and we will see you guys next week. Bye.