Ask, Tell, Confess: My Boyfriend Gave My Mom Herpes!!

Summary

Dumb Blonde Podcast: "Ask, Tell, Confess—My Boyfriend Gave My Mom Herpes!!"
Host: Bunnie XO
Date: February 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Dumb Blonde is an LA-edition roundtable of Bunnie XO, Bonnie, Haley, and Jaime, diving into their signature "Ask, Tell, Confess" listener confessions. The group delivers raw, comedic, and sometimes raunchy takes on wild relationship stories, accidental hookups (including family drama), cringe-worthy moments, and some jaw-dropping listener confessions. The highlight: a shocking story of a boyfriend who gave the listener's mother herpes. Along the way, expect tangents on food safety, stigma, and the messy complexities of relationships and family.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Homie Hopping & the "Misunderstood" Listener Story

• Context: Follow up to last episode's listener confession, accused of being a "homie hopper" after her and her sister slept with some of the same men at different times.
• Clarification: Christina (the listener) writes in to correct misinterpretations: she never slept with her sister's husband, only ever kissed him in the past, and did not intentionally sleep with the same people. The overlap was unintentional due to lack of communication while living in different places ([04:17–09:44]).
• Hosts' Reaction: The hosts reaffirm there's no judgment and openly share similar experiences. Bonnie jokes, "I've slept with brothers, okay? ... I am the last person to judge." ([09:46])
• Lesson: The group notes how messy and coincidental these situations can be and that the men are often at the center of the drama, not the women. Haley succinctly states, "It's the men." ([11:05])

Notable Quote:

• Christina (listener, voice note): "I got so excited when you first started reading the comment and then, like, I freaking cried. I was like, oh my God, they think I'm this nasty hoe." ([09:38])
• Bonnie: "We don't think you're a nasty hoe at all." ([09:44])

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2. Kissing Cousins: An Accidental Family Makeout

• Story: A listener shares how she accidentally made out with her biological cousin while not knowing they were related due to being adopted ([12:08–13:04]).
• Hosts' Discussion: The group marvels at the frequency of such accidental encounters, referencing TikTok stories and cases where adopted or estranged relatives cross paths unknowingly.
• Side Commentary: The crew goes on a tangent about royal family inbreeding and the genetic issues that ensue ([17:03–18:14]).

Notable Quote:

• Haley: "I made out with my biological cousin without knowing it … We did not know we were related until after the makeout session." ([12:10–13:04])
• Bonnie: "That's why a lot of people in the royal family have certain issues." ([17:57])

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3. Headline Story: My Boyfriend Gave My Mom Herpes

• Confession: A listener tells the story of hooking up with a neighbor guy as a teen, only to find out 15 years later that her mother started dating (and contracted herpes from) the same man ([18:45–19:42]).
• Reaction: The hosts express animated horror and disgust, joking about "the gift that keeps on giving." ([19:37–19:48])
• Turning Point: The group quickly pivots to a comedic but slightly gross tangent on food contamination, the herpes virus in shrimp, and other fun-ruining food facts ([19:50–22:11]).

Notable Quotes:

• Bonnie (reading the story): "Two months went by and my mom ended up getting herpes from him. So gross. And no worries. I'm clean." ([19:36])
• Haley: "Mom got the herp." ([19:37])
• Bonnie: "Yeah, mom got the old herpes syphilade." ([19:44])

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4. Food Tangents: Shrimp Herpes, Bananas, and Worms

• Details: Spiraling off from the main confession, discussion blends horror and humor around contaminated foods—shrimp with herpes, bananas with fly eggs, and worms in strawberries and salmon ([19:48–22:11]).
• Bonding Over Disgust: The hosts commiserate on TikTok ruining their favorite foods and share their unique food cleanliness routines.
• Comic Relief: Lightens the mood after the heavier stories, reinforcing the group's chemistry and ability to riff on the bizarre.

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5. Sexual Mishaps and Pegging Confessions

• Listener Story: Someone recalls a paid sexual encounter involving pegging that ended with a literal mess. The group is equal parts fascinated and grossed out ([26:53–27:30]).
• Hosts' Take: They break down the mechanics of what probably went wrong and tease each other, asking who would ever peg their partner.
• Ending Mood: A delirious and hilarious capstone as the group devolves into giggles and friendly embarrassment ([27:31–28:54]).

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Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• "Short and sweep. Get to the point."
  – Haley ([02:42])
• "These are our best ones though ... when we're tired and on the road, we shouldn't even be doing these 'cause we have no couth."
  – Bonnie ([02:47–02:58])
• "She accidentally fell on the dick ... Hop the homies."
  – Bonnie & Haley, about accidental "homie hopping" ([11:24–11:27])
• "It's the men. ... This is why I don't like men."
  – Haley & Bonnie ([11:05–11:11])
• "Mom got the herp. The gift that keeps on giving."
  – Haley & Bonnie ([19:37–19:44])
• "I ate all your shrimp." / "Have you ever looked on the inside of a strawberry?"
  – Banter, ruining food for each other ([19:59–20:39])
• "Ashes are beautiful under a microscope ... It's like a galaxy."
  – Bonnie & Jaime ([26:20–26:27])
• "I had this guy who I used to peg ... and he literally shit all over the place."
  – Anonymous confession, read by Jaime ([26:53–27:30])
• "Would you peg Jason?" – "He won't let me ... I would want to."
  – Bonnie & Haley ([28:11–28:17])

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Segment Timestamps

• [02:02] — Group catch-up, set the tone
• [03:31] — "Homie Hopper" listener backlash and clarification
• [07:03] — Hosts clarify and react to unfolding details
• [08:18] — Listener Christina's voicemail and emotional response
• [12:08] — "Kissing Cousins" accidental adoption mishap
• [18:45] — The herpes story: “My Boyfriend Gave My Mom Herpes”
• [19:48] — Shrimp, banana, strawberry food horror sidetrack
• [26:53] — Pegging confession and aftermath
• [28:54] — Hosts wrap up, exhausted and laughing

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Tone & Vibe

• Language & Banter: Candid, raunchy, and unfiltered. The hosts use humor to tackle embarrassment and taboo confessions, making the shocking seem relatable. There's a strong sense of acceptance—no judgment, just (sometimes blunt) real talk.
• Audience Takeaway: You're not alone in your wildest, weirdest, or most cringeworthy stories. This crew lives for the outrageous and makes it clear: whatever your confession, they're here to laugh about it with you, not at you.

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Final Thought:
This episode blurs the line between therapy session and slumber party, proving once again that Dumb Blonde celebrates the messy realness of life—and reminds listeners that honesty, laughter, and a little TMI can be the best form of healing.

Transcript

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[Bonnie]

Ask, tell, confess. All right, ready guys? One, two, three. Tequila. That song was in my head.

[Haley]

Didn't know we were going for that.

[Bonnie]

Hello friends.

[Bunny]

Welcome to another LA edition Ask Tale.

[Jaime]

Here it goes.

[Bonnie]

Bam.

[Haley]

Short and sweet. I like it.

[Bonnie]

Short and sweep.

[Haley]

Get to the point.

[Bonnie]

So we're delirious. Like we said before.

[Jaime]

These are our best ones though.

[Bonnie]

Oh bro.

[Jaime]

That's where me and you of you.

[Haley]

Laughing is still hands down.

[Jaime]

Cuz we're gonna.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, we can't. We're not allowed to.

[Jaime]

Why'd you bring it up?

[Bonnie]

When we're tired and on the road, we shouldn't even be doing These cuz we have no Cuth. C o u h. Cuth. All right, guys, who wants to kick this off? You have. We have like a. Okay, so there's lore. Let's all just kick this off. We have lore. Okay? So I cannot stress to you guys, when you write in to us, put all the details. Don't leave any details out. Don't skimp on, you know, context.

[Bunny]

Context.

[Bonnie]

Because we are going to tell you the truth about how we feel.

[Bunny]

We're not going to foot around, you know.

[Bonnie]

And there was a girl, she used her name, right? We can say it. Christina.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Okay.

[Bonnie]

Christina submitted her story and we ended up calling her a homie hopper because that's how she put it to us. So she made sure to make a tick tock about it. Great. She was in good spirits about it, though. She was not being in. In any way crazy about it, but she was like, no, I'm not a homie hopper. You guys judged me the wrong way. And I'm like, first of all, we didn't judge you. We just told you the truth of how we felt about the story, how.

[Bunny]

We all three interpreted.

[Jaime]

We got.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, literally. And she's like, no, let me explain it. So I got it. She wrote in.

[Jaime]

She said, oh, my God. She said, I literally just finished watching the part of Asta Confess where you read not friendship drama, but my sister and I hooked up with whatever that was for me. Y' all speculated so bad on it. I never slept with my sister's husband when I dated him, only the husband's twin. Also, my sister and I have had a couple periods where we weren't that close. We didn't sleep with the guys at the same time or even the same year. We were not sharing bodily fluids or being a homie hopper. We both worked for the same company at different times and hooked up with the manager and the other guy she went to school with and hooked up with. I wasn't living at home, so I didn't know. And years later, that guy and I got together. We didn't find out until way after. Had either of us known the other slept with the guys, we wouldn't have. I guess I should have given more.

[Bonnie]

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[Jaime]

Okay, I'm still confused.

[Haley]

Wait, we're sleeping with more of the similar people.

[Bonnie]

So she told us that there's more people that they shared, but because they had periods of time where they didn't talk to each other, they didn't know. So the guys knew, just never told.

[Jaime]

Them they didn't know. Yes, but they did sleep with the same guy, right?

[Bonnie]

So she didn't stop there. She sent in a voice note and I got her permission to play the voice note on the episode today.

[Haley]

So let's this really took a turn guys.

[Bonnie]

Let's take a listen.

[Christina]

Hi Bonnie, it's Christina. You guys did your ass tell confess this week and you read not friendship drama, but me and my sister hooked up with two guys, blah blah. That was from me and you guys totally misinterpreted that so wrong and took it way to the left. I never slept with my sister's husband at all. Even back when I dated him as a teenager, all we ever did was kiss.

[Haley]

Whatever.

[Christina]

They got together. Years later Ended up getting married. Whatever. He has a twin. I got with the twin for a little bit. It didn't work out. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I got back with him again a few years after that.

[Bunny]

Pause.

[Bonnie]

I just want to make sure we. We paint a timeline here. You hooked up with one twin when you were younger.

[Bunny]

You guys only kissed, and then you.

[Bonnie]

Ended up hooking up with the brother that's still considered a homie hopper.

[Haley]

Eskimo brothers now.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. Eskimo brothers, yes. Okay, so let's get. I just. And we're not being mean. I'm just really trying.

[Haley]

Painting a picture.

[Bonnie]

Painting a picture. Trying to understand this. So hold on one second.

[Christina]

Tried to make it work again. Didn't work. I never slept with her husband. I never would do that. We would not have intentionally slept with the same people without. With knowing we were not as close as we should have been. Back in the day, I lived in a different town, had a baby. She was going to college. It's not that we weren't close. And also, this is going to make it sound even better, but she didn't know I slept with the one dude because I cheated on my husband. Ex husband. With the manager. So I don't know. That makes me sound better or whatever, but I'm not a homie hopper. I never slept with my sister's husband, and we don't intentionally share people, so just wanted to kind of set the record straight on that. I got so excited when he first started reading the comment, and then, like, I freaking cried. I was like, oh, my God, they think I'm this nasty hoe.

[Jaime]

No, we don't.

[Haley]

No.

[Christina]

I hope that.

[Bonnie]

We don't think you're a nasty hoe at all.

[Haley]

Honey, no judgments.

[Bonnie]

I've slept with brothers, okay?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

So, I mean, I can't. I am the last person to judge.

[Bunny]

Sorry, Steve and Chris.

[Bonnie]

But anyways, listen, it was revenge. It was revenge. I had to get revenge on him.

[Haley]

You called him out by name.

[Bonnie]

Had to get revenge on him. But. So I get it. I understand what you're saying. But in the grand scheme of things, you hooked up with two twins. That technically is a homie hopper. And listen, homie hop with the best of them.

[Bunny]

Nobody cares.

[Bonnie]

We don't care.

[Haley]

We're not judging you.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, like, it's. There's no judgment at all. But then she went on to say. Because I was like, okay, can I play this? Or whatever.

[Haley]

She.

[Bonnie]

She hit me back, and she said, I played this for my husband. And he said, I made myself sound more Like a homie hopper. She said the timeline is 13 years to 20. Date Time Dated Sister's husband to second time of dating twin brother. It's too much, girl. It's too much.

[Haley]

You don't gotta explain yourself.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, like, we get it. We get it. We've all been there. We have all done things that we would consider.

[Jaime]

So she's. They both slept with the same manager, though at different times when they both.

[Bonnie]

Here's the thing. These men are.

[Jaime]

It's the men.

[Haley]

It's the men.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Like, it's CR at this point. It's the guys.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

This is why I'm a. I don't like men.

[Haley]

So.

[Bonnie]

So there we go. All right. So I hope that clears that up for you guys.

[Haley]

Good lord.

[Bonnie]

She's not a bad homie hopper. She's not an intentional homie hopper.

[Haley]

There we go.

[Bonnie]

Was an a. She accidentally fell on the dick.

[Jaime]

Hop the homies.

[Bonnie]

Hop the homies. She accidentally hopped the homie.

[Haley]

Who wants to go next close to you?

[Jaime]

Hey, I like it.

[Bonnie]

You guys are always this close on the couch.

[Jaime]

I'm at least a harm away. I can put my hand in her vagina.

[Bonnie]

All right, you ready, memes?

[Haley]

I'm going.

[Bonnie]

I'm joking, joking, joking. Jaime was over there grabbing his head when we were. He was listening to the story. He was like, what is happening?

[Haley]

Okay, so this one is called Kissing Cousins.

[Jaime]

Damn it.

[Bonnie]

I read that one.

[Haley]

Yeah. My best friend and I started hanging out with another girl. We met her while working at the gas station we both worked at. We would all get together and hang out regularly. One Halloween weekend, we all went out and got pretty tipsy. Ended up making out with each other and doing a three way kiss. Later that week, the girl comes into the store when I was not wearing makeup and goes, you know who I am? I'm like, yeah, you're so and so. She's like, do you know who I am? So finally I'm like, no, girl, who are you? She asks if I know someone, and I'm like, yeah, that's my biological mom's name. And she's like, that's my aunt. I made out with my biological cousin without knowing it. I was adopted, so I don't know. I did not grow up with my family and we didn't know each other. We did not know we were related until after the makeout section. Apparently, seeing me without makeup, she was like, oh, yeah, she looks like my aunt.

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[Bonnie]

Was it first or second?

[Jaime]

Is it blood?

[Haley]

First.

[Jaime]

Is it? Yep, it's blood.

[Bonnie]

Well, you know, I think I've heard this happens more than. Than, you know, like then often more times than not. I like, I watch a lot of those, you know, shows on TV and what happens is it's like some weird like invisible string theory where these people find their family members and sometimes they end up making out with them or being with them.

[Haley]

Didn't. Wasn't there a couple on Tick Tock who did testing and they found out they were like sisters?

[Jaime]

Yes, it was a lesbian couple.

[Haley]

Yeah, it was a lesbian couple. And weird like they started like thinking these weird connections were happening. I did go down that rabbit hole and when they did buy the testing came back and they were 99.9 relatives and there were sisters long lost.

[Bonnie]

Obviously it was the dad.

[Jaime]

Dang.

[Haley]

Yeah. Or it wasn't 99 because it was like men. The dad was the only relation to it. So whatever that percentage is to where they had different moms but the same dad.

[Jaime]

But at least it wasn't a guy and girl and they had an inbred.

[Haley]

Oh, often that happens a lot.

[Jaime]

And people don't know and they just.

[Haley]

Think they're small towns. Dude.

[Bonnie]

It happens in the royal palace. Yeah, they're all humping each other.

[Haley]

What did you just say?

[Bonnie]

In the royal palace, they all. You're not allowed to have a child with somebody that it doesn't. Isn't in the family. That's how they keep their bloodline going.

[Jaime]

Yep.

[Bonnie]

Oh, it's a whole wormhole go down that sister. Keep that in.

[Haley]

How was I the only person in this room that did not know that? You're like everyone.

[Jaime]

I like that era. Well, not because of that, but like I like. Pause. Not because of that. Just I like the. I just like, I like the art and I like the.

[Bonnie]

I studied same. That's why a lot of people in the royal family have certain issues.

[Jaime]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

Because don't like, live long and don't live long because they're all spawns of each other.

[Haley]

I am baffled by this.

[Bonnie]

That's why they all have really bad health and. Yeah, no, it's crazy. Go down that wormhole tonight, sister.

[Haley]

I'm literally going to right after we're done with this.

[Bonnie]

All right, I'm going next. Hobos.

[Jaime]

Hold on.

[Haley]

I want that as a clip. I have put that heating pad on my lap. I made it really sweaty.

[Bonnie]

I have a heating pad you can use.

[Haley]

Jason surprised me with one.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

All right, you guys ready?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Hey. Hey.

[Bunny]

So a really messed up situation here. When I was 16, I met a neighbor guy. He was two years older than me.

[Bonnie]

And we started hooking up.

[Bunny]

It was a short summer fling.

[Bonnie]

Never seen him again myself. Only heard rumors around town about him because he was a man whore. Fast forward 15 years later, my mother, she's 20 years older than me, said, I've been seeing a guy who's younger. His name is Dustin. Of course my brain goes to. Of course my brain goes to this guy. Back in the day, I asked her to show me his Facebook picture, and it was him. No, I told my mom, like, dude, I with him back in the day, and I was so grossed out. Two months went by and my mom ended up getting herpes from him. So gross. And no worries. I'm clean.

[Haley]

Mom got the herp.

[Bonnie]

The gift that keeps on giving.

[Bunny]

Damn.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, mom got the old herpes syphilade.

[Haley]

What? Didn't you tell me shrimp have herps?

[Bonnie]

Yeah, dude, I'm so tired of tick tock ruining foods for me. Dude. Ruining shrimp have herpes on them.

[Jaime]

Hope you know that next time.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, I ate all your shrimp.

[Haley]

I'm sorry.

[Bonnie]

Have you ever looked on the inside of a strawberry? Yeah, you'll never eat those again, too. If you look, it's. And then you ruined bananas for me. Go ahead, tell everybody at home what you told me about freaking bananas. Like, what can we eat, bro?

[Jaime]

So you're supposed to cut the very end of bananas off because that's where gnats lay their. Like, fruit flies lay their eggs. So that's why.

[Bonnie]

And it's always. It's always smushy.

[Jaime]

That's why you get fruit flies, because they lay their eggs in the very end. So if you ruined that off.

[Haley]

Salmon for me. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Oh, I ruined salmon for you?

[Haley]

Yeah. Remember that video you showed me with the worm in it?

[Jaime]

Yeah, you send a lot of foods with worms in it.

[Bonnie]

Listen, it's not my fault this pops up on my fyp, dude. And I'm sick of it. Like, I hate it. It's disgusting.

[Haley]

What's it? I'm. I want to know about the strawberry.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, give it a little look.

[Bunny]

See?

[Bonnie]

Poo.

[Jaime]

It's just like a hole, right?

[Bonnie]

Jason, insert this what they're about to see, please. And in here, outside, you eat strawberries every day. Do straw. I know now I do. Cause I don't give a fuck. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of people telling me that I can't eat fucking food. Like at this point. What, you can't eat rice? What's wrong with looks like a vagina? Nope. Strawberry under a microscope. Go ahead, enjoy. Suck on that.

[Haley]

Have you guys ever seen where they clean out the underneath of a fingernail and put it under a microscope?

[Bonnie]

Just doo doo.

[Jaime]

I'm only saying there's living things. Stop.

[Haley]

Have you never watched that?

[Jaime]

I don't want to.

[Bonnie]

I don't want to.

[Jaime]

You know how you avoid that? Don't look at under a microscope.

[Bonnie]

Ashes are beautiful under a microscope.

[Haley]

Really?

[Bonnie]

Have you ever seen them?

[Jaime]

Ashes?

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Look at this. You look up the strawberry, all I see is the seeds.

[Jaime]

Nothing looks scary under.

[Bonnie]

Oh my God. You don't got.

[Jaime]

What's the little spider on it? Well.

[Haley]

Oh, it's the little white spiders.

[Jaime]

You're finding it with bugs.

[Bonnie]

When you grow outside, there's more. There's more. You don't have the same flip as me.

[Jaime]

No one soaks their fruit for 15 minutes.

[Bunny]

New Year always makes me want to reset my space. Like when your home feels calmer, everything feels calmer. And Wayfair has honestly been my go to for that. I grabbed a few things to refresh the house. New bedding and bath basics, which instantly made the bedroom feel like a hotel. And some storage pieces that actually make it easier to stay organized instead of shoving stuff in closets and pretending it doesn't exist.

[Bonnie]

You guys know what I'm talking about.

[Bunny]

I also loved how easy it was to find pieces that fit my style. Cozy, but pulled together and still stay on budget. From accent pillows and mirrors to faux plants that look real without me killing them, Wayfair really is a one stop shop for everything. What surprised me most was just how much they have. Kitchen essentials work from home setups, kids, room stuff. Literally anything you need to get your home back on track for the season ahead, it's there. That's why I love Wayfair. For a reset like this, it's easy, affordable, and it makes your home feel good again. In the best way get organized, refreshed and back on track this new year. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W a Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home, every friend group has that person who refuses to do things the easy way. That would be me. You know, the one still paying for subscriptions they forgot they even signed up.

[Bonnie]

For refusing to update their phone because it still works and somehow still overpaying.

[Bunny]

For wireless in 2026. That last one Mint Mobile is here to fix. Mint exists because paying too much for wireless just because that's how it's always been is honestly wild. You get the same coverage, the same speed, just without the bloated price tag. Right now, for a limited time, you can get 50% off 3, 6 or 12 month plans of unlimited premium wireless. Bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes and start saving immediately. No long term contracts, no drama. Mint even gives you a seven day money back guarantee plus customer satisfaction ratings in the mid-90s.

[Bonnie]

So you can try it out and.

[Bunny]

See why people switch and never look back. The service quality doesn't feel like a downgrade at all compared to traditional carriers. And I could be saving way more than I expected. Ready to stop paying more than you have to. New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time, get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch [e-mail] bunny that's mintmobile.com bu n n I e upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 15amonth. Equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only. Over 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. Additional terms apply. C mintmobile.com baking soda.

[Bonnie]

Who the has the time to do that?

[Haley]

Okay.

[Bonnie]

Do you do that?

[Jaime]

Yeah, I have a spinner. You put them all in there and then you white people, then you drain it and then. You know what I'm saying? Dry it.

[Bonnie]

Look at this.

[Haley]

No gnar.

[Jaime]

That's why you soak them. No, I think there's bugs on every fruit.

[Bonnie]

It's just. It's terrible. I'm tired of it. I don't like it.

[Jaime]

That would probably burn in your stomach though, right when you ate it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, that's what everybody says. But I mean, who wants to think about eating a slimy worm that they can't see?

[Jaime]

I'm sure you've eaten a lot in Your life and you don't know it.

[Bonnie]

I definitely swallowed a few spiders.

[Haley]

I was gonna say, how many spiders?

[Jaime]

When you see a certain amount every year or they crawl on yours.

[Haley]

Okay, so if you're a person who cleans out your ears a lot.

[Jaime]

Look.

[Bonnie]

Look how beautiful ashes are under a microscope.

[Jaime]

I'm blind.

[Bonnie]

I love that.

[Haley]

It's like a galaxy. I know.

[Jaime]

I can't see.

[Bonnie]

Haley, get some glasses.

[Jaime]

I know.

[Bonnie]

Damn.

[Jaime]

You go the doctor. Hi, Doctor. I actually have glasses.

[Bonnie]

She straight had her eyeballs airing out. What the hell? That was wild.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

What in the.

[Haley]

I need to go to the doctor.

[Jaime]

Yeah. Have a good time. So I used to do things for money.

[Bonnie]

Oh, God. I knew you were gonna savor in this one. This is right up your alley.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

Anyways, I had this guy who I used to peg. He lived in his mom's apartment, but he had all the hardware. So I'm going to town on him because I used to get into it. Anything for some cash, I guess. I'm a freak. So I'm going to town. And he literally shit all over the place. I'm not kidding. It was the most disgusting thing in my life. His whole room smelled. It was all over the place. Even on me. I took the hottest, longest shower ever. Then I never, ever answered his calls again. Staying anonymous.

[Bonnie]

My question is, was it explosive diarrhea? Like, how did it go everywhere like that? If it was a log, I could understand. Or, like, you know, I would rather have a log.

[Haley]

I'd rather shake up a soda. And you open it. That's similar to.

[Jaime]

Did she shake him?

[Haley]

I mean, if you're fucking him, okay.

[Bonnie]

But before you get anal, you're supposed to clean your asshole out.

[Haley]

I doubt someone who's paying for it thought that far ahead.

[Bonnie]

What do you mean that they're used to it. They know. They know it's coming.

[Haley]

Yeah. I'm just going to let it ride.

[Jaime]

Oh.

[Bonnie]

Just let it ride.

[Haley]

Yeah. I've talked about pegging way too much today. This is weird.

[Jaime]

Would you peg Jason?

[Haley]

He won't let me.

[Bonnie]

Would you want to?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Hey.

[Haley]

He would never. He won't even let me see his butthole.

[Bonnie]

I was just passing out. Oh, God. Have you guys ever seen Beauty and the Beast? And that one part where she says something and he goes, that is exactly what Haley just did. Dude, it was so funny.

[Haley]

Dude, he's gonna edit this and be like, what the.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. He's gonna like, dude, can we cut this out?

[Jaime]

Without us even saying it?

[Bonnie]

All right, well, on that note, we're delirious and we're exhausted from the week we've had, but we are going to scooch on out of here. See you guys next week. Toodaloo.

[Jaime]

Bye.