Ask, Tell, Confess: My Hot Peppery Pucker Hole

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde – Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: My Hot Peppery Pucker Hole

Introduction

In the April 4, 2025 episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast titled "Ask, Tell, Confess: My Hot Peppery Pucker Hole," host Bunnie XO delves into a series of hilarious and candid discussions surrounding relationships, embarrassing moments, and the raw realities of life. Joined by co-hosts Haley, D, and E, the episode promises laughter, relatable anecdotes, and insightful conversations that embrace both humor and healing.

Main Discussions

1. Embarrassing Relationship Mishaps

   The episode kicks off with listeners' confessions, leading to an uproarious discussion about intimate relationship blunders. Amanda shares her story titled "High Voltage Passion," where a romantic interlude near electric towers leads to unexpected shocks during sex. Haley responds with amusement and curiosity:

   Haley: "That's kind of hot." [22:43]

   The hosts humorously dissect the situation, comparing it to using tingly creams and pondering whether the electrical shocks enhanced the experience. This segment highlights the podcast's signature blend of humor and openness in discussing intimate topics.

2. Hot Peppery Pucker Hole Confession

   One of the standout moments is a confession from a listener about a disastrous attempt at anal intimacy spiced with hot peppers. E narrates the story with vivid detail:

   E: "You will never appreciate ice cubes in a washcloth on your until you try anal with hot peppers. Also an instant way to sober up." [06:00]

   The confession sparks a flurry of reactions from the hosts, who joke about the mix-up and its painful consequences. Haley quips:

   Haley: "He might have not been able to get it in there yet." [06:26]

   This segment not only provides laughs but also underscores the importance of communication and preparation in intimate encounters.

3. Joe Exotic and Prison Relationships

   The conversation takes a more serious turn as the hosts discuss the controversial figure Joe Exotic and the complexities of relationships with incarcerated individuals. Jennifer's suggestion about interviewing someone in jail sets the stage for a deep dive into the psychological aspects of such relationships. Haley reflects:

   Haley: "How do you say those words without feeling like something?" [19:43]

   The discussion explores the motivations behind forming bonds with individuals serving long sentences, questioning the sustainability and mental implications of these connections.

4. Personal Grooming and Self-Care Anecdotes

   Amidst the heavy topics, the hosts share personal stories about self-care mishaps. D recounts an experience with a penis pump that backfires due to his size, leading to comedic relief:

   D: "I heard this story yesterday... he was like a corn cob." [25:25]

   Haley and Bunny join in with their own grooming challenges, creating a relatable and entertaining segment that balances the more intense discussions.

Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Dumb Blonde maintains its ethos of tackling topics others might shy away from, blending humor with honest dialogue. The hosts' ability to navigate between lighthearted anecdotes and more profound conversations offers listeners a well-rounded experience that is both entertaining and thought-provoking.

Bunnie XO concludes the episode by encouraging listeners to embrace their vulnerabilities and find healing through shared stories. The blend of confessions, laughter, and insightful commentary makes this episode a memorable addition to the Dumb Blonde series, reaffirming its place as the ultimate destination for comedy, trending topics, and lifestyle conversations.

Notable Quotes

• Haley on Relationship Missteps:

  "Oh, my gosh. Did he not look at the right bottle?" [06:14]

• E on Embarrassing Moments:

  "Only five people know this. The day after Super Bowl 2007..." [05:26]

• D on Grooming Fails:

  "He couldn't even get it to, like, pump." [25:43]

• Haley on Prison Relationships:

  "If you don't, if you can just kill somebody because you want to be with somebody else." [19:43]

Conclusion

"Ask, Tell, Confess: My Hot Peppery Pucker Hole" is a quintessential Dumb Blonde episode, offering a mix of laughter, relatable stories, and candid discussions. Whether sharing embarrassing tales or delving into the complexities of human relationships, Bunnie XO and her co-hosts deliver an engaging and authentic experience that resonates with listeners seeking both humor and connection.

Transcript

[Bunny]

Do you say data or do you say data? Well, at my house we say data and for the longest time I thought.

[Haley]

Paying a fortune on my monthly data.

[Bunny]

Plan was just normal. That was until I found out about Mint Mobile and their premium wireless plans that start at just 15 bucks a month. 15 buckaroos baby. Switching to Mint Mobile is a game changer. Same reliable high speed coverage as the big carriers but at a fraction of the price. Why spend more when you can get premium service for less? Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans. Jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages, Mint Mobile is here to rescue you. All plans come with high speed data or data your choice and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. No matter how you say it, don't overpay for it. Shop data [e-mail] bunny that's mintmobile.com b u n n upfront payment of $45 for 3 months 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to 15amonth new customer offer for first 3 months only then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra cement Mobile for details Spring is in the air, the weather is warming up and I'm most looking forward to spending more time on the farm with Crunchy and s'more. When the weather's warmer I can be out there for hours just enjoying the fresh air and their company. I'm looking forward to it even more because I've started using Lume Whole Body Deodorant which can actually handle anything. Unlike some dos I've tried in the past, Lume has really given me more confidence, especially when I'm out with the animals or working in the studio. I can stay fresh and comfortable all day which lets me focus on what I love doing without distractions. As a special offer, new customers get 15% off all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code bunny [e-mail] that's L U M E D E O D O r a n t.com I've mainly used Lume on my armpits and it works wonders there, but I've also tried it on other areas like my feet after a long day. It's so versatile and I love that I can trust it to keep me feeling fresh no matter where I apply it. Now I have super exciting news to share. Lumi just came out with a brand new scent, Vanilla Bliss and it's my favorite Liquid, way more than the coconut. Now it's super cozy, A pitch perfect mix of vanilla bean and sandalwood. Sweet, but not too sweet. And even though it only just came out, it's apparently already on its way to being one of their most popular scents. Honestly, I get it, though. I can't wait to make it my scent for spring. Lumi's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick. Deodorant Cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping as a special offer for listeners. New customers. Get 15 off all Lumi products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15 off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40 off their starter pack. Use code Bunny XO for 15 off from your first purchase at lumideodorant.com that's code Bunny XO at L U M E D E O D O R A N T dot com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lumi. Hey, guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why and the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Forts. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to ww patreon.com backslash Dumblon podcast and sign up Ask, Tell, Confetti.

[D]

Ask Tell.

[Haley]

Confess.

[D]

I asked to confess.

[Bunny]

Hello from friends.

[Haley]

Welcome to I'm so Withered and Weary. Guys, it's been a freaking long day.

[Bunny]

Welcome to Askin Fam. How are you guys?

[D]

We're great.

[E]

Great.

[Haley]

Good.

[Bunny]

Back at it, baby.

[E]

We are.

[Haley]

We're trying to get this ass to confessing before a tornado touches down.

[E]

Yeah, I've been looking at the.

[D]

Might be hanging out with you for a.

[Haley]

How's it looking?

[E]

Not. Not nice.

[D]

But where's it at? The entire middle, like, right now. Is it like in Memphis or is it in.

[E]

No, no, it's, like, west of us. Okay. All right.

[D]

Well, we're fine.

[E]

We got a minute.

[D]

I can get home and see my animals.

[E]

I can hear the wind. Yeah, the trees. Stuff at the window, though.

[D]

It's rough.

[Haley]

Who wants to kick it off? Oh, God. All right. If it's about buttholes, And I don't want to hear it. All we got.

[E]

That's all we got.

[D]

Well, okay.

[E]

I'm going.

[Haley]

There you go.

[E]

A fiery nightmare.

[Haley]

Oh, God. This.

[E]

This is anonymous. It says, my most embarrassing story ever. Only five people know this. The day after Super Bowl 2007, my ex husband wanted to try anal. I was like, okay. I told him to go to the kitchen and get the olive oil. He came. He came back with a small cup of oil. A few seconds later, I started to freak out. Then crying. I sobered up instantly. Well, the day before, he made homemade hot wings with habanero peppers. And he grabbed the pepper oil off the stove. You will never appreciate ice cubes in a washcloth on your until you try anal with hot peppers. Also an instant way to sober up.

[Haley]

Oh, my gosh. Did he not look at the right bottle?

[Bunny]

How did you get those mixed up?

[D]

Oh, my. I feel like that would cause damage.

[E]

Wait, I'm sure that probably hurt him too. Or did he? Not even.

[Haley]

He might have not been able to get it in there yet.

[D]

I wonder if she lubed up first.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[D]

And was like, wait a minute, something's wrong. He never even got to stick it in.

[Haley]

Bro, if you had hemorrhoids, that. That was sizzling.

[D]

I bet you those things, like, shriveled up and went back in.

[Haley]

That might be a good way to get rid of hemorrhoids.

[D]

I mean, someone tried to let me know.

[Haley]

Burn those suckers off, baby.

[D]

Dang. It's like when you accidentally buy the wrong kind of soap, and it's like the spearmint burns. Yeah. And you accidentally, like, oh, wow. Someone is literally blowing on my butthole right now. Yeah, accidentally did that one time.

[Haley]

What about you? Memes blew on your butthole. Wait a second. You accidentally did what?

[E]

We're not going to brush over that.

[D]

Like, the wrong soap. Like, if you get a spearmint and you, like, put it in places it.

[Haley]

Shouldn'T, she who the fudge is a spearmint?

[D]

So, you know, like.

[Haley]

Or like, you use some of the craziest soap. Dude, me? Yes. Can we talk about this? She will use, like, the fudgeing roughest fudge. So what soap is it that you use?

[D]

I use Dr. Bronner.

[Haley]

Okay, wait.

[D]

First off, Johnson and Johnson literally causes cancer.

[E]

So everything causes cancer.

[Haley]

Yeah, everybody says, but I've been using it for years. Knock on wood. And my skin is baby soft, and I'm 45 and don't have one wrinkle, baby.

[D]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Preserve me. Preserve me. There is formaldehyde There is.

[D]

I know.

[Haley]

That's why I said preserve me. What do they call it?

[E]

That?

[Haley]

Literally, what do they call it? Whatever they fudgeing, drain all the shit out of the bodies. What is it called?

[D]

Embalming.

[Haley]

Embalming, baby. With Johnson and Johnson.

[E]

Well, okay.

[Haley]

I love it. My hoot nanny cannot fucking take any other.

[D]

Anything else.

[Haley]

If I use any other soap, my hoot nanny's like, RA gets mad. It looks like something off of. What is that show called?

[Bunny]

The Dark Crystal.

[Haley]

Have you guys ever seen it?

[D]

I thought we were going Predator any.

[Haley]

It's an 80s movie, and there's these, like, little, like, animals that get mad, and they're furry, and that's what my vagina looks like, dude.

[D]

Oh, my gosh.

[Haley]

Anything other than baby soap?

[D]

Well, I did go on, like, the Yuka app the other day in the hand soap because I'm washing my hands so much. You and I are struggling with this because now that we are farmers, I am also afraid of salmonella. Like, yeah. Because we have so many chickens. And, like, I know it's not that easy to get it, but I'm still freaked out about it. And we've got the babies and stuff. I wash my hands obsessively. I was in, like, the store the other day with my Yuka app, and I scanned every single hand soap until I found one that. You know how long it took me to find it.

[E]

There's a lot of things that you think are good, and they're.

[D]

But now I don't dry out.

[Haley]

Well, let me know what you're using, because I'm over here with no nails and wrinkly hands.

[E]

You guys look the same.

[Haley]

I know. Well, you don't have nails on either. Why?

[D]

I've been just painting.

[E]

These are farmers now.

[Haley]

I know. I'm gonna start doing the builder gels.

[E]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Using my real ones.

[D]

Yeah, that same. I just took a set of gels off, and I'm gonna go put them back on. My nails are so strong. Yeah, my nails are so strong.

[Haley]

I'm ready. Like, I think I'm ready.

[D]

The new little natural nail feel like I had a set on. You know, guys, I put, like, a whole set on.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[D]

I immediately next day was like, I hate this.

[Haley]

No.

[D]

I don't know why, but I was like, I need them off. And so once they fall off, I was like, I'm not. I just painted my naturals. And I was like, wait, I kind of like this.

[Haley]

Yeah. That's how I felt with this last set that Gina did. I was like, I cannot wait till they come off.

[D]

Yeah.

[Haley]

I just sat there and popped them all off.

[D]

Yeah. I don't know. It's. It's nice. I enjoy.

[Haley]

Maybe we're. We're in our, our baby mama gardening area.

[D]

I'm here for it. Yeah. I don't.

[Haley]

My baby's scratching animals. You get under your nails, dude. Oh my God.

[D]

It was a scrubber. Literally Nick. Next to my sink to scrub under my nails when I put them back on because it freaked me out so bad. If you get in there with the animals.

[Haley]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And then like you pull your hands.

[Haley]

Away like, oh, it's disgusting.

[D]

Disgusting.

[Haley]

Oh, they, they roll in turds and everything. Crunch will have a dingleberry hanging off of him.

[D]

Yeah, No, I looked out today as I was leaving. Dolly is rolling in a puddle.

[Haley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they do.

[F]

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[G]

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[Haley]

All right, I'm next or you're next. You want to go next?

[D]

You go ahead.

[Haley]

I don't have anything good this time. Let me see. What do I got? What do I got?

[Bunny]

Ask from Jennifer.

[Haley]

I know you have mentioned before about being open to an to have an interview podcast with someone that's in jail.

[Bunny]

Prison and wanted to know if you.

[Haley]

Would consider doing that with Joe. Exotic. Maybe get to the bottom of all our questions when we all binge watch.

[Bunny]

Tiger King during COVID Love, y'all.

[Haley]

Well, it's funny you asked that because Joe has wanted to come on the podcast. Numerous times I have turned him down.

[D]

He's. He's a podcast whore.

[Haley]

Yeah, he goes on everybody's podcast. It doesn't he. I think he just went on. Jesse Lawless is right.

[Bunny]

When he was.

[Haley]

I was gonna, like, have a podcast with him, but if I did do a podcast with him, it would have.

[Bunny]

To be in the prison.

[Haley]

I don't want it on the phone.

[Bunny]

Like, that's why none of his.

[Haley]

His interviews connect with anybody. And nobody's listening because they can't see him. If they could see him and actually hear his words and, like, see him saying them, then, yeah, that people would listen. But he just literally goes on everybody's podcast and he's on everybody's Instagram accounts, and it's just like, what if you got Carol instead? Carol Baskin killed her husband.

[E]

Whacked him.

[D]

Wow, that was really great.

[Haley]

Listen, 2020's tick tock was elite.

[D]

Elite. I enjoyed those so much.

[Haley]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't. I didn't really care for Carole Baskin. I thought she was a human.

[D]

You know, she murdered her husband.

[Haley]

I don't know about that. I don't think she did murder her husband. I think then they end up finding him.

[D]

There's a lot of rumors had that.

[E]

Like, he ran away recently.

[Haley]

Yeah, recently he resurfaced.

[E]

And they. Something happened.

[Haley]

Yeah, something happened. We'll have to. I don't want. Don't quote me on that, guys, but I'm pretty sure that he has resurfaced.

[D]

Okay, let's talk about that real quick. I'm leaning into the whole ghost adventures. Have you guys actually learned about that story, though? It wasn't just the fact that she tried to off him. She fell in love with a killer in jail. So she marries him. Right. And, like, falls in love with some dude who killed off his whole family over a cam girl that he fell in love with. Yeah. And he spent. So do you guys know Control, Alt Desire, the docu series? It's on Paramount. And he. This guy literally spent, like, his family's money. Like, two.

[Haley]

Is it about him?

[D]

Yes. $200,000. He, like, stole credit cards from his family. And they confronted him and was like, we're taking your phone. You can't take our money anymore. And he walked in, got a gun, and shot his whole family. So he goes to jail. And because they did the docu series on him, all these women are like, oh, my God, we love him.

[Haley]

Is he hot?

[D]

He's disgusting. He looks like a thumb and he Talks to them. Like, can't wait to see your. That's literally how he talks to them.

[E]

Don't ever do that again.

[D]

Wait till you see the videos of him. Insert here.

[Haley]

Show me a picture of him.

[G]

Hi, my precious little kitty. This is just amazing that I get to see you like this. Those beautiful little nipples that I just want to suck and bite on. I can't wait, baby. I can't wait to feel you.

[D]

Oh, it's disgusting. So she sounds like.

[Haley]

Sounds like your exact. Literally.

[E]

They probably like each other.

[Bunny]

They probably know each other.

[Haley]

Yeah, they probably.

[Bunny]

But this show is insane.

[Haley]

I want to watch it.

[Bunny]

Leave it to me to seen it too.

[Haley]

Yeah, Here.

[E]

Seeing the docu series. Oh, dang. He looks like a ghost. He's terrifying.

[D]

Okay, so, dude, she reaches out because she watches the docu series, reaches out to him, falls in love.

[Haley]

This is the dude from Ghost Adventures.

[D]

Wife who is, like, significantly younger than him. So she not saying there's anything wrong with that, but, like, she. She.

[Haley]

How much younger?

[D]

Like, I think he's in his 50s. She was in her 20s.

[Haley]

Okay, well, I mean, that's kind of not great either, you know? So he's questionable.

[D]

Yeah. I don't know, like, their. Their whole timeline or anything, but, like, at this time, she's, like, now in her late 20s, I believe. So she falls in love with this dude. He gets, like, a burner phone. Burner phones her, and it's like, literally, like, I love you. They, like, literally fall just madly in love with one another. So she was like, you know, we should kill my husband. He's like, I got someone. Hits up some dude on his burner.

[Haley]

Say this on jail shit.

[D]

That's this burner phone that he's hiding. Yeah. They're, like, texting, and he's like, cool, I'll hit up my hitman. Hits up this guy. We'll pay you set amount of money. She's talking to him and everything, gives him Aaron's location because she has, like, on her iPhone where he's at. He's out filming ghost adventures. And then, like, she's keeping in contact, like, oh, you're back at your hotel room. Are you alone? Yeah. So they send the hitman to go kill him alone at the hotel. And then all of a sudden, hitman just goes blank and stops replying. At that time. Was a cop at that time. They bust into his cell and take his cell phone, but they don't immediately go through it, so they have no idea.

[Bunny]

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[D]

When they finally go through it is when they read this text chain and was like, oh my gosh, we have to go save him because they have this hitman out to get him. Meanwhile, she's posting on Instagram, like cuddling with him on the couch, like at Disneyland with my Valentine, like, so in love. And even at one point she's like, the texts are wild. Like the real text messages. Like, I feel like maybe I feel bad. Maybe I should just divorce him now. Just kidding. Like, we'll just kill him.

[G]

What the.

[D]

Can you believe that? Like, just leave him. Like we've just.

[E]

Aaron brought something home that like possessed her or something.

[Haley]

What's wrong? I mean, I'M pretty sure his.

[E]

He got divorced because of it. I don't. I think he had a other wife. That it was just like, getting to be too much. Like, he would bring things home from filming.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[D]

Everyone that knows him, like, and they were saying, like, he is the sweetest, most gentle. Like, they always send him to the.

[E]

End of the hall.

[D]

I know I feel bad for him, but, yeah, everyone's like, he's so sweet in this malicious ass.

[Haley]

That's. I just can't. The. The mentality of, like, maybe I should divorce him. Ah, now let's just kill him. Like, how do you say those words without feeling like something?

[D]

You're just as psychotic.

[Haley]

Yeah. If you don't. If you can just kill somebody because you want to be with somebody else.

[Bunny]

There's.

[D]

How did you plan on being with someone who is in jail for life? He's serving a life sentence. Like, you slaughtered three people. You slaughtered your family. Your mother, your father.

[E]

Like, how does she not think she could be next?

[D]

Like, he's not good.

[Haley]

These bitches, these prison wives are just crazy.

[D]

Yes.

[Haley]

I feel bad for women who. Okay, here's the thing. If you were with a man for X amount of years and then he went to prison, I can understand holding him, being faithful. Yes. But if you just met this man while he's in prison and you're holding him down, like, I feel like something's wrong.

[D]

Yes.

[Haley]

Like, where is the detachment that you don't want to. To be with somebody who's available to you?

[E]

Ashravino.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[E]

The inmate Hopper. She calls herself that.

[D]

It's a weird thing to call yourself.

[Haley]

She's. I haven't seen her lately.

[E]

She got banned on, like, all.

[D]

Someone just took her out.

[E]

Damn.

[Haley]

Damn.

[E]

And now she's selling little kits she's making that has a scrunchie, a lip gloss and a lollipop.

[Haley]

I wouldn't fucking suck on anything from her.

[E]

They're all from, like, in stuff where.

[Haley]

She'S selling these at her.

[E]

I don't know. But the first 10 people that buy get a free cup.

[Haley]

So all her socials are down. How do you know all this? Haley, she is.

[D]

She was on the beach in Hawaii watching updates.

[E]

You are not always Brielson in 2k same.

[Haley]

And I. That's just getting force fed to me.

[E]

I feel so bad for the kids in that situation.

[Haley]

Yeah. Like, so embarrassing and just gross.

[E]

Do I need to get you Just.

[D]

Send them to me.

[E]

Okay.

[Haley]

You got one for us?

[D]

I feel like I just told my story. You guys can Tell another one.

[Haley]

All right, go ahead, Haley. You got one more? I'll do one.

[Bunny]

One.

[Haley]

Uno mas.

[Bunny]

Two.

[E]

Okay. This one's called High Voltage Passion. Amanda says my ex and I lived eight hours away from our hometown on our way to visit family. We're about 15 minutes from getting into town and I was super in the mood. I told him to pull over so we can have a quickie before we got to my parents house.

[Haley]

I love car sex. Right?

[E]

Yeah. Well, he pulled off and parked by this huge canal that is known as the High Line, where we used to swim at when we were teens. They now have huge electrical towers going down the High Line dirt roads. When we got out and started wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. I kept getting shocked, but it felt good at the same time. When we were done, he asked me if it felt like I was getting shocked and I told him yes. He said he was too, and it felt amazing when I went in to kiss him. After, we got shocked again and realized the electricity from those towers were flowing through the ground, going through our feet and into our bodies, causing us to shock each other while we were having sex. It definitely was weird, but definitely felt really good. In a memory, I was always. I will always remember.

[Haley]

That's kind of hot.

[E]

I mean, that's like.

[D]

Right where they use like, electrical stuff and everything like that. I mean, that's like rubbing your feet on the carpet and tapping somewhere.

[E]

See, that doesn't feel good to me though, when I. Yeah, that doesn't.

[Haley]

I wonder how it felt though.

[Bunny]

I wonder if it was like.

[Haley]

I wonder if it was like. If it like vibrated almost like tinkly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Because they make like, creams and stuff that make you tingly. So, like, why. I feel like that would essentially be the same.

[Haley]

Yeah, no, that's definitely a good memory.

[D]

It was a good story.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[D]

Good story.

[Bunny]

I like it. Yeah, I like it a lot. Yeah, I like it a lot.

[Haley]

I got one more. I don't know what I got. Hold on, I gotta look.

[E]

That's what you get.

[Haley]

I don't know what I got. I don't know what I got.

[D]

Give it a little something.

[Haley]

Okay, I got one for you. This was in 2007. Ish.

[Bunny]

I was at a house party.

[Haley]

And this is from Casey. I was at a house party with.

[Bunny]

A group of friends that would rent.

[Haley]

A place for the weekend and throw a party. Everyone was hanging out naked in the pool.

[Bunny]

When I was hanging out, I noticed a new face. He was the only one in the pool wearing A bathing suit. But I thought, oh, it's his first time. Maybe he's just shy or whatever.

[Haley]

I should have known there was another reason, but I didn't at the time.

[Bunny]

Fast forward.

[Haley]

He came up to me and was so cute.

[Bunny]

And we were chatting, and he asked.

[Haley]

If I wanted to go into one of the bedrooms. This sounds like a swingers party. I was tipsy and having fun.

[Bunny]

So, sure, why not?

[Haley]

We get in there, start kissing, took.

[Bunny]

Off our clothes, and he asked me.

[Haley]

To get on top.

[Bunny]

And that's when I notice he only is about 2 inches when hard.

[Haley]

In my head, I was like, me on top is not going to work. But he was insistent. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

[Bunny]

And leave, so I sucked it up.

[Haley]

And got on top. Thank God he was finished in about 30 seconds. Without even getting. Without even getting inside of me. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

[D]

He never even got it in.

[Haley]

Poor guy.

[D]

Poor guy.

[Haley]

Poor guy. Yeah.

[D]

Nothing worse than a micro penis.

[E]

Listen, man, sometimes I'm glad I'm not a man, because, like, you're just stuff.

[D]

I know. Is there something you can do about that?

[Haley]

There is.

[E]

Penis enlargement.

[Haley]

Enlargement? Yeah, you can get it longer.

[D]

Really? What do they do?

[Haley]

I don't know how it works, though. They give you, like, an extension. There's shots that you can take. There's, like, a bunch of stuff.

[E]

Pills at gas stations.

[Bunny]

Is there, like, an implant, too, or something? There's an implant that you can have?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[D]

Diet is wild.

[Haley]

Yeah. I'd be a pumper. Yeah. I think that's what you have to do when you get an implant. You have to pump it up. It's like a button that you have to pump it up in there. God.

[D]

I just heard this story yesterday while Dustin was on the phone with Jason about this guy who tried to use a penis pump, but, like, he was already too big. He was like a corn cob, he said. And his nickname's Corn Cob because it was, like, coming out the other end. He couldn't even get it to, like, pump. Yeah, I overheard that conversation.

[Haley]

Where's he at? Momo needs him.

[D]

Yeah, well, he's, like, 70.

[Bunny]

Oh, God.

[Haley]

Why is corn cob swinging like that, dude? God, I can't see what is up with Jason and the people that he knows and talks to. I'm starting to question Jason. Okay. What in the.

[D]

I'm crying.

[Haley]

And on that note, we're out of here.

[D]

Papa's got the hog.

[Haley]

I gotta go. See you guys next week.

[D]

Bye.